#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers

[hinamie]

oversaturate

[felisuuu]

So I'm back yeah and I'll be posting my art here from now on (TW for the vent, spoiler alert some nasty things happen)

Hiii, have y'all missed me? Some of you probably did but most of you probably forgot who I was by the time I came back so I'll reintroduce myself.

I'm Felis aka Malicious Mischance, that one ex-mandela catalogue artist that always drew alternate Gabriel and pretty cringe stuff along with the mandela catalogue. Since I didn't share much about myself online other than my hyperfixations and interests that's about it and I think that should be enough to know about who I am, well who I was to be exact.

Well why did I come back? I don't have a well thought-out answer but I have a few reasons. First of all I love to share my art, I love when people engage with my account and when I befriend new and awesome people, that also sorta ties with my second reason being that tumblr is the only art friendly social media (that isn't dead like deviant art, artfol, cara and the many other attempts at an art social media). Instagram and even now Twitter(X) do not give a flying fuck about artists and would rather put some elses hard work in ai slop and promote that instead of actual artists, I would use tiktok but I find making videos reaally boooring and the community there is so toxic so I'd rather stay away. I want to post my own original art knowing that I'll atleast have someone enjoy it you know, not just scroll pass it or simply relying on drawing trends and fandom art.

(TW: mention of su1c1d3, su1c1d3 attempt, beating, 1nc3st🤢 feel free to skip it but you will be missing a bit of context about me)

I haven't been feeling or doing well irl and art has always been a way to cope for me especially after experiencing pretty traumatic events in my life. I won't name them all since I don't want to trauma dump on random strangers on the internet so I'll just keep them simple and short. One of the things that happened REALLY RECENTLY was my dad got in a car accident where an old lady jumped in front of his car and she ended up passing away at the spot (yes it was su1c1d3), I witnessed my dad beating my mom multiple times (it's been a thing happening since childhood so I'm pretty numb to it ) but the last time it happened my mom threatened my dad with a knife and almost st@bbed him, my mom beat me up a few times for no reason but I know it's because I look like my dad and she lets out her anger on me, she also forced me to film her trying to h@ng herself and her many other su1c1d3 attempts. I found out one of my cousins has a thing for me and was allegedly trying to get with me also he's sorta a p3do which doesn't make it look any better. I've also attempted to k.m.s twice but I got beaten by my mom because to her "I didn't have it hard enough, I don't have a reason to k1ll my self" and I'm scared of doing it again not because I fear death but I fear that it'll fail again and that I'll get an even worse beating. There is much more that happened but if I write it all down it'll probably be longer than the Bible, sorry for anyone who had to read this but I really needed to vent I've been holding these things in for so long it's just better for me to let them out then keep them in till the point of a meltdown like I did on my Instagram, unfortunately, and then feel ashamed to come back. To whoever made it to here while reading I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the rollercoaster of emotions in this post. I know I said I don't want to trauma dump but I did anyway.

Vent ends here.

A fresh start is what I need this year and I'll try to be consistent with my posting, it's part of my resolutions for this year and I'll also try to draw more because last year it was pretty lack luster and I didn't end up drawing like half the year due to artblock that I got because of school (I'm an architect student so I have to constantly draw and it's draining if I'm being honest)

I hope all of you guys have a great day and a great year since it just started

Bye bye or as I like to say farewell till our next meeting 🧛‍♂️🏃‍♂️