#incorrect quotes slightly edited

[dracocheesecake]

Kai and Oogway: "You fuckers don't know about our knife sticks. They're knives taped to sticks and they're our ultimate weapons."

Rival General: "Spears?"

Kai and Oogway, stabbing him: "BLOCKED!"

[theineffableoystercatcher]

Vaggie: Charlie, I'm sad. Charlie: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Lucifer: Alastor, I'm sad. Alastor, nodding: It is, as the kids say, a mood.

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Dick, walking into a lounge room: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?? Steph, twisting around: Y- you were putting it in cold water?? Dick: ... Duke, looking up in horror: Dick. Answer the question, Dick. Dick, awkwardly: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realise there was an actual reason. Steph and Duke: ... Dick: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water? Steph: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes?? Duke, suddenly turning on Steph, wondering what kind of house hes been brought into: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it? Steph, twisting back around to glare at Duke now ignoring dick who takes this opportunity to sneak out: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove? Duke, exhasterated: It takes less than a minute. Steph: DUKE, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun??? Duke, continuing to argue: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove? Steph: Like seven minutes?? Bruce, walking in with Jason right behind him (something about a motorbike and helmets), hearing the tail end of the convo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan! Duke, nearly standing up in anger: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? It could break??? Bruce? Is your stove is enchanted?! Jason, turning and leaving before he can get involved because he will get out his guns: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic. Babs, from down the hall: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?! Alfred, horrified about what he has created and now desperately needs to teach them about tea:

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JOHN: rose can you tell me a bedtime story?

ROSE: sure. settle in. once upon a time there was a man named dave

ROSE: dave edited wikipedia with incorrect information.

ROSE: and you know what happened to him?

ROSE: he got stabbed.

ROSE: do you get the moral of the story?

JOHN: no

ROSE: goodnight, john

[autisticzenitsu]

Jigoro, to Zenitsu and Kaigaku: The two of you are grounded. Kaigaku: Whoa, whoa! By the "two of us", I hope you mean Zenitsu and his imaginary friend!

[harringroveera]

Steve & Robin in an attempt to flirt with their crush

[sessa23]

The Doctor: You've let larceny taint your loveliness.

Companion: Less talk, more sonic, *sees that the Doctor is focused on master/missy* huh? Are you even listening to me?

The Master/Missy: My pets will soon silence that insolent tongue of... did you say lovely?

The Doctor: Lovely, yes, but evil, too. Give up this life of destruction. Allow me to help rehabilitate you.

Companion : Wait. Are you two flirting?

The Master/Missy : Oh, always trying to declaw me, Doctor. Which is why I must clip your wings, permanently.

The Doctor: Not if I collar you first.

Compainion: You are! You're flirting. Flirterers!

[mamasplat]

Courtney: you’ve been…dating leader maxie? my leader? maxie? red hair?…leader maxie?

Archie: if that’s my character development yeah!

Courtney:

Archie:

Courtney:

Archie:

Courtney: yup i can kill you!

[alien-slushie]

Shuichi: I want you all to say one nice thing about Kokichi!

Kokichi: I have given you nothing to revear. I will betray you all when the opportunity arises.

Shuichi, clearing his throat: Kokichi i think-

Kokichi: -You'll be first.

[dyingroses]

Milluki: What's for dinner, dad! Illumi: Yeah dad, what's for dinner! Kalluto: We're starving! Killua: What's for dinner! Silva: . . . You know what?! I fuck your mom daily!

[leoneedincorrectquotes]

*Leo/Need is on a hike* Ichika: It’s beautiful out here. Honami: And quiet. Ichika: Too quiet. Honami: Did we lose someone? *cut to Shiho with a bear in a headlock, and Saki with a machete*

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Wally: *confused* Eddie? There’s a neighbour lying on the ground!

*smashcut to the corpse of a random stranger in the middle of the neighbourhood*

Eddie: *stares at it* They're just having a rest, they'll be fine... You wanna go get a pizza?

Wally:… okay, sure! @:D

*they casually walk away before Home consumes the corpse*

[einsteinsugly]

1978. Stamp of Approval?

Jackie: By the way, I did get my boyfriend's approval to do this. Right, Steven?

Hyde: You didn't need my approval. You were gonna do it anyway.

[incorrectbensler]

Elliot: What’s the best thing to wear to court? A law suit!

Olivia:

Olivia: Is this your way of telling me you have court today?

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Dave: just ate cranberries

John: like, on their own?

Dave: ya

John: why?

Dave: theres a bag here

Dave: and i ate half of one

Dave: and then i looked up

Dave: can you eat cranberries

Dave: and it said yes

Dave: so i ate like 3 handfuls

John: wait like, you actually looked that up word for word?

Dave: yes

John: did you actually doubt that?

Dave: well ya because

Dave: never saw anyone try

John: ok, fair.

John: that's why i asked why after all.

John: who does that?

John: you, apparently.

Dave: ya

Dave: tastes like cranberry

[autisticzenitsu]

Sanemi: Everyone's like "it costs 0$ to be a nice person". Sanemi: Being a hater is free too, fuck you.