#general oogway

[dsco-kjs]

just some drawings of these old men

And of them not so old, you know, generals.

[dracocheesecake]

First and Fighting Words

Summary: Another snippet taken from the Daddy!Kai AU (AU where he and Oogway were never ambushed and continued along their path as warlords). Kai now has a new calf, but there seems to be a dispute over her first words.

General Oogway had been prompted to make another visit to his friend and said friend’s growing family; Kai had two calves now, the newest being a baby girl of eight months old.

Oogway looked at her now, swaddled in green silken blankets to keep her comfortable in the early spring’s remaining chill. While her older brother had been a solid copy of his father, this one looked like her mother: same black fur, and a little tuft of curls on her noggin that might grow like her mother's as well. Her eyes, though, were like her fathers; these were glued to Oogway, having never once left him since the moment he came into their sight.

Oogway wondered (privately) if the calf ever blinked. This was the first time he had seen her, the eight months’ since her birth having been eaten up by a skirmish near the outskirts of one of his more rural territories that had taken longer than expected, and the rest of the weeks had been needed just to get here; that particular winter had been a rough one, especially spent on the roads- but at least the Spring was promising.

The portico provided a nice view onto the grounds of the estate, and the wind blew in blossoms of various pastel colors that scattered over the table. Zan, Kai’s wife, was standing at the rail, looking out over the gardens while Kai held their daughter, already bragging about all of her ‘accomplishments’.

Oogway nodded sagely after the ramble had gone on a while and plucked a blossom petal out of his tea before taking a sip. He smacked, and then said: “How precocious. This one's even fatter than her brother was.”

Zan covered her smile with her fan, but her shoulders were shaking, and occasionally a small chortle escaped. Kai snorted, frowning.

“She's not fat,” he said, “she's plump. She's a baby, she's supposed to be.” One of his hooves came up, tickling her round little tummy. Dai Lu giggled and unraveled her chubby arms from the swaddling to grab at her father's hand.

Oogway smiled. “She looks like a lavishly wrapped bean bun.”

“She does not!” Kai snapped. “She looks like her mother!”

Zan turned and raised her brows at him. “I look like a bean bun?”

“What? No! I-”

Both his wife and his friend started laughing, and then Dai Lu squealed hysterically alongside, and Kai found himself fighting to keep his pout in place.

“She doesn't look like a bean bun!” He stated stubbornly. He poked the baby’s nose. “You. Stop laughing! You don’t look like a bean bun!”

That only made her laugh more, and then Kai broke. A cackle of his own burst free before he could stop it, and eventually he gave up trying to.

“Well,” Kai said, trying to come to his child’s defense even still, “she’s a very smart bean bun. She’s already made some progress on her first steps.”

Oogway tilted his head. “Oh? Well, she certainly has the legs for it. Maybe all that chub is actually muscle. ”

“Oogway, I swear-”

“We're already expecting her first words,” Zan said, before her husband could finish his threat, “It'll probably be ‘mama'.”

Kai snorted. “Nah, she's going to say ‘daddy’, like her brother did.”

Zan glared at him. There was a sudden tension in the air, not as friendly. “No,” she said, with more firmness than Oogway felt necessary, “she'll say ‘momma’.”

There was a pause. The tension began to grow and simmer. Kai's head turned slowly towards her. There was a smile on his face, a pleasant one that didn't meet his eyes.

“No,” he said again, “she's going to say ‘daddy’.”

Zan narrowed her eyes. Her hoof stomped the ground, once. “No,” she said again, “‘momma’.”

Kai was now returning her glare. Dai Lu cooed, babbling, tugging on Kai's mane, but he didn't notice. He disentangled her and then plopped her down into Oogway's hands, his eyes never once leaving his wife.

“Oogway, hold this,” he said, and then got up to go stand before Zan, glaring down at her with his arms crossed. She was saying something, poking his chest, something about ‘i carried her for nine months’, and then there was another exchange, which devolved into:

“No, momma!”

“No, daddy!”

“Momma!”

“Daddy!”

“Momma!”

“Daddy!”

“Momma!”

“Oogway, you tell her-”

“Don’t you dare bring Oogway into this! You always try to bring Oogway into everything! Oogway this, Oogway that- why didn’t you just marry Oogway?!”

Apparently this was only a continuation of some sort of argument that had been going on for awhile, something Kai hadn’t written about in his letters. Oogway held the little calf at arm's length, raising his brows in some amusement- all that he could glean from such an uncomfortable situation.

“Your parents are crazy, Bean Bun,” Oogway said with a chuckle, “I feel sorry for you.”

Dai Lu giggled, chubby arms waving towards Oogway, tiny feet kicking in her swaddling.

“Oogwaa!” She squealed.

Oogway's mouth fell open. When he looked up, Kai and Zan's were doing the same. There was an eternity of pause, and both stared for its duration; then they rushed over.

“What did she say?” Kai asked, crouching down with his hands on his knees, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Did she say what I think she said?” Zan said, laughing despite herself.

“Oogwaa!” The calf cooed, reaching for the tortoise’s face.

Oogway felt tears welling in his eyes and immediately hugged her close. “I think I have a favorite, now.” He said, trying to keep his voice from shaking, but failing miserably. The little calf cuddled into him, babbling.

Zan laughed, putting her hands on her hips. “Well, I guess that’s what we get,” she said, “there’s a lesson in irony here, somewhere, I’m sure.”

“One cannot force the wind to blow in their direction,” Oogway said sagely, gently bouncing the calf.

Kai rolled his eyes and took her out of Oogway’s arms. “Alright, no more philosophy for you. You’re going to turn her mind into mush with that nonsense.”

“Oogwaa!” Dai Lu cried, reaching for Oogway with little pouty noises. Kai snorted and poked her belly.

“Ok, now say ‘dada’. If you can say ‘Oogway’, you can say ‘dada’.”

His daughter looked up at him, pouting. But then, slowly, she began to smile again.

“Mama!”

"...Here, Oogway, you can hold her."

[dracocheesecake]

I headcannon that while Kai has 90 percent battle IQ, his IQ levels are 20 percent social skills.

For the most part! Kai still had some level of charm and charisma to him- however, nowhere near the level of Oogway, and we know Kai ruled more through fear than respect. I think Oogway had to at times restrain Kai (especially towards their few allies) and remind him upon occasion that he actually had to be nice to their soldiers if they didn't want a rebellion on their hands; Kai probably wouldn't have done so well if it weren't for Oogway keeping him in check.

[dracocheesecake]

You know those videos of people gently pinching babies' cheeks with chopsticks?

Oogway would do that to Kai to annoy him. It would be his cheeks, his ears, his arms, his tummy- etc. While Kai tries to slap him away.

Kai: "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"

Oogway: "Because you are my little dumpling." 😌

[dracocheesecake]

Do you think that during the Old War Days when winter hit Oogway would use Kai like a personal space heater? They probably had to share a tent for that very reason.

[dracocheesecake]

Kai is so stubborn he probably once drank out of a poisoned cup (while knowing it was poisoned) just to prove a point about him being difficult to kill. Oogway waited for him to recover so he could beat some sense into him.

[dracocheesecake]

A Close Shave

"When was the last time you've shaved?" Oogway- General Oogway, now, since this battle- asked his comrade. It was both a question and light raillery; the darker, longer fur around Kai's jawline and muzzle had gotten much thicker, and in the weeks leading to this skirmish had grown into a rough beard.

Kai- also promoted to general, since they had killed off the competition- was sorting through the bodies around them, possibly counting their losses and searching for trophies- the numbers of which would surely grow conflated with each retelling of the tale. He paused, as if considering ignoring the question, but the count was already lost. With a grumble of annoyance he straightened and ran a hoof through the grisly tangles on his chin.

"...A while," he rumbled.

There was a stream nearby, now murky with blood, but clearing steadily from the waterfall near them. Kai plucked a dagger out of the back of one of the fallen, rinsed it clean in the water, and then used the flowing wall as a sort of makeshift mirror as he shaved his face.

Oogway, having no hair to speak of, could not say he was any sort of authority on the subject, though he was nearly certain that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be done. Kai seemed to drag the blade across the facial hair, pulling it down one way, then up again carelessly, and by some miracle of grace did not sustain a single cut. It was a haphazard job, and the product was only somewhat less so; as in, he looked mildly presentable- you wouldn't take him to meet your parents, but he might barely manage to be let into the most grotty bar- and then only if it had no standards to subject its customers to.

He told Kai as much, though in more playful words. His friend snorted and pushed Oogway's head into his shell. "Maybe next time I'll keep it," Kai said, sarcasm lacing his tone, though he knew that he wouldn't even consider it, if his co-general didn't approve.

Oogway smiled. "If you do, I'll braid it," he teased again, and then reached up to tug on one of the longer strands of hair Kai had left dangling on his chin, as if to begin that very moment. Kai snorted, and again pushed Oogway's head back into his shell.

"Try that, and I'll skin you alive," he said.

[dracocheesecake]

Going back on my headcanon about Kai being a heavy sleeper- some side headcanons:

Kai would snap awake in an instant if someone tried to interrupt Oogway's sleep. No matter how deeply asleep he was, if someone tried to wake Oogway he'd be up in a second. You don't interrupt his co-general's sleep!

When Kai slept, however, Oogway would stack things on top of him until he woke up, or draw a character on his face (think like a perilous version of the hangman game, mixed with Scrabble- draw one character on his face to spell out a word, then pass the brush to someone else- and whoever wrote the longest word without waking him wins).

[dracocheesecake]

General Oogway, to a prisoner: "Now you either tell us where your army is hiding, or-"

General Kai: "Oogway! We don't have to resort to threats! We're not savages! We have to use this." *taps temple*

Kai: *Grabs the prisoner* "WHERE'S YOUR ARMY HIDING?!" *Headbutts him*

[dracocheesecake]

Kai and Oogway: "You fuckers don't know about our knife sticks. They're knives taped to sticks and they're our ultimate weapons."

Rival General: "Spears?"

Kai and Oogway, stabbing him: "BLOCKED!"

[dracocheesecake]

Cows moo when they're happy, apparently. However, for Kai, this is something he does very rarely, and then he tries not to do it at all even when he is happy. Except...there was this one incident where he may have let out a small moo around Oogway, and didn't get to live it down. Kai would get extremely flustered if it was ever brought up, and try to backtrack and chalk it up as Oogway mishearing something- and of course Oogway used this against him every chance he got. Kai used to threaten to kill him if he ever mentioned it in front of their soldiers...so Oogway mentioned it multiple times in front of their army, knowing damn well Kai wouldn't do anything besides sit there being embarrassed.