#incorrect long walk quotes

[wishiwasadruid]

Leon: So what happened while I was away?

Gwaine: Merlin and Arthur are Courting and they killed a person.

Leon: I WAS GONE ONE WEEK?!?!

[cipher-zoo]

Kalifa: Anyway, all I wanted to say is that Spandam decided to throw a hissy fit and we need to come to his office.

Jabra: got it

Kalifa: By the way this is sexual harassment

Jabra: *covering himself with the shower curtain* YOU WALKED IN ON ME!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Sollux: bro doe2n’t even have a certaiin je ne 2aii2 quoii

Aradia: je se his qu0i, and i d0n’t like it.

[i-like-books-and-women]

Okay so my newest brain worm is kinda based around how after Zach comes out to Jon and Angel and they're like "omg bro thank you for telling us we love you" pretty much instantly Angel looks back between Zach and Ruben once or twice and is like "Shut the fuck up you're dating" and they're like "I mean like we haven't really talked about that but like-" and Angel essentially goes "Ooh friends with benefits? Based." And I kinda forgot how perceptive he is at times so I think it'd be really funny if he just straight up missed a lot of subtext but can clock any romantic/sexual developments/activities in any of them pretty much instantly. If Jon started dating someone he knew the next time he saw him without being told. He knew Zach and Ruben were gonna get engaged before it had even happened and sent them a congratulations text like the day after despite not being told, not seeing them in person for a hot second, and the fact that they didn't live together anymore.

[clumsyartish]

Remus: It’s dark in here James: Don’t worry dude I got this James: *Stomps his feet* James: *Skechers light up*

[stuff-the-chosen-didnt-say]

[During the storm] 

Judas: I’m swimming back to shore! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try! 

Philip: Judas, you can’t swim! 

Judas: I said my chances are slim!

[venuslarkspur]

Batsis!Reader and The Concerning Dating History - Incorrect Quotes 2

Warnings: References to sexual activity.

Notes: None.

————————

8am, Wayne Manor.

*Tim, pouring himself some coffee from the pot*

Roy, coming out of Batsis!Reader’s room: You mind? :)

Tim: Yeah okay 👍 *pours him some coffee*

Roy, whilst walking back into Batsis’s room: Thanks. 👋

Tim, while taking a long sip of coffee: …..Wait.

————————

*Batsis!Reader’s phone starts ringing*

Dick: Are you gonna get that?

Batsis!Reader: Ugh no, it’s probably Hal again.

Barbara, while looking at the phone: It’s Diana.

Batsis!Reader scrabbling to her feet and knocking Dick out the way: ANSWER.

————————

*Jason, Steph and Batsis!Reader sitting at the side of the road because the Batmobile broke down*

Jason: this sucks.

Steph: l didn’t bring money for a taxi.

Batsis!Reader: We don’t have to get a taxi, I’ve got Wally’s number. He can pick us up.

Steph: Oh grea-

Jason: wait- Why have you got Wally’s number?

Steph: …

Batsis!Reader: Erm…surprise?

Jason: I refuse to believe this.

Batsis!Reader: In my defence, this was about 7 years ago.

————————

That’s it y’all I have more exams coming up 😢

[ryemiffie]

Bat bros incorrect quotes based on my buddy's hate for the abbreviation of super to supes cause he gets confused and thinks people are saying soup:

Jason: Hey, Bruce wanted me to let you know we'll be hanging out with the supes later so make sure you're ready to go.

Dick: The soups?

Jason: Yeah, the supes.

Dick: we're going to hang out with the soups?

Jason: Yeah?? Just make sure you're dressed or Bruce is gonna throw a fit.

Dick: ??

Dick: What should I dress for? i mean, what kinds of soups will we be hanging out with?

Jason: ??

Jason: I don't know?? The original ones??

Dick: The original soups?

Jason: Yes?? The original supes, I guess that's what you could call them.

Dick: Okay. Should I bring a spoon or something?

Jason: A spoon?? For what?

Dick: For the soups!

Jason: Why would they need a-

Jason:

Dick: ??

Jason: Really bro?! You've been Bruce Wayne's son for way too long.

Dick: What do you mean??

Jason, walking away: Privileged ass.

Dick: What did I say??!

[forensic-b1tch-aiden]

Marauders incorrect quotes

Barty and Evan: *walks towards regulus*

Barty: it is so noisy in there

Barty: can we sit with you?

Regulus: sure

Regulus: as long you guys don’t-

Evan: *sits down, pulling barty onto his lap and kissing him*

Regulus: that

[moonlit-midnight]

TWST incorrect quotes

Lilia: Kids, can you help me bake this cake?

Yuu: Yeah, sure

Malleus: But let us take a short walk first

*Five hours later*

Lilia: I thought you and Malleus were going for a short walk? What kind of walk takes five hours?

Yuu: A long one?

Lilia, laughing: Just admit it, you didn’t want to taste my cooking, did you?

Lilia, shoving a plate in Malleus and Yuu’s hands: Too bad my little ones, I reserved the last piece for you both, and you’re going to eat it

[skylarsblue]

I still have more. More Incorrect Quotes.

(Accidentally had a lot more fem!Y/N than intended but it's overall GN!) Alex: What made you think you’d be good for the military? Y/N: I worked at a Waffle House in America. Alex: Ah, alright, that makes sense.

-- (Interrogating Valeria)

Y/N: Look, Gaz, you know me. I can't- I can't do it. Gaz: Why not? Why can't you interrogate her? Y/N: Because I'm a bisexual with mommy issues, Gaz. And she's as pretty as she is scary. I'm already not that intimidating, she'll laugh at me when I start stuttering and then I'll just be horny. It can't be me. Gaz: ....okay, I'll ask Alejandro-

-- Y/N: I just realized something...I had a bad childhood. Gaz: Yeah we know. Y/N: What do you mean you know? Soap: Look at how you stand! People who had good childhoods don't stand like that. Y/N: How do I stand?! Gaz: Like Ghost. Ghost: ...I don't appreciate the call out but fair-

-- Price: Where are you going?! Y/N: To either get ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide in the car!

-- Ghost after watching Fem!Y/N do an incredibly risky move: I just...Is she blind?? Suffering some form of brain damage?

-- (Tw; Hollywood Undead unalive song)

Y/N: My legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, I think I'll sli- Price: EXCUSE ME?! WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?? Y/N: Wh- No Captain, it's just a so- Price: GHOST GET THE BASE PSYCH ON THE PHONE Y/N: CAPTAIN IT'S A SONG I'M FINE- Well I'm not bUT NO WAIT HANG ON-

-- Valeria: *screaming in spanish* Y/N: ... Gaz: Don't. Y/N, blushing: I'm trying-

-- (During movie night; watching Venom)

Y/N: *pauses on that scene where Venoms sticks his tongue out at the guy in the street* ....Hear me out- Gaz: NO! NO. Y/N: NO NO LISTEN, LISTEN- Soap: Let them speak. Gaz: Don't encourage this! Y/N, pointing at the screen: LOOK AT IT! LOOK! Objectively you have to understand- Gaz: NOOO, it eats people! Soap: THAT TONGUE IS THREE FEET LONG AT LEAST! Gaz: No, I will not be hearing anyone out! I- GHOST, Ghost, back me up. Tell them they shouldn't want to fuck the ALIEN. Ghost, looking at the screen: Ethically, it's wrong. Gaz: Thank you. Ghost: ...objectively- Y/N: AHA! SEE?!

-- Ghost: *bends over* Y/N: *silently flips out* Soap, quietly: Wh-what? What are you-?! Y/N: SHHH *grabs Soap's jaw and turns him to look* Soap: *slack jaw* Damn- Y/N: fuckingdamnindeed- Ghost: *turns around* Soap: So it's your turn to pick dinner, what're you thinking? Y/N: Oh I dunno, maybe something pork related, uh, or cake- Soap: Aha, yeah...cake. Ghost: ....??

--

Fem!Y/N: I am not the mom of 141, that's ridiculous. Someone: You make all of them lunch every day with fruit cut into shapes, IN PERSONALIZED LUNCH BOXES Fem!Y/N: They need nutrition! Someone: You color code their items- Fem!Y/N: Look, if you were there for the item mix-ups you'd understand. Someone: YOU ARE LITERALLY FOLDING AND LABELLING THEIR LAUNDRY WITH A SHARPIE ON THE TAGS. Fem!Y/N: *holding Simon's skull boxers, writing his name on the tag* That- ...oh my god I'm the mom.

-- Ghost, watching Soap run past: WHAT DO YOU HAVE?! Soap, grinning & sprinting: A FUCKIN' BOMB Ghost: NO!!!

-- Price: Y/N, this is Lieutenant Riley, you can call him Ghost. Ghost: Y/N, looking him up and down: ...you got daddy issues? Ghost: ....maybe Y/N: Cool, same. Pleasure to meet'cha, sorry life gave you shit. Ghost, shaking their hand: Ditto. Price: *concerned sigh*

-- Price, walking into the common area at 10 pm: What in the world- Gaz, Soap, and Y/N: *all in there pyjamas with face masks on, eating snacks* Y/N: *slowly keeps chewing* Gaz: ...heeeyy siiirr... Price: It was lights out an hour ago, what are you lot doing? Soap: *slowly raises another face mask* ....Self care, sir? Price: ... Ghost, walking in at midnight for water: ....what. Soap, Gaz, Price, and Y/N: *stop gossiping* Gaz: ....hey. Soap: Evenin' L.T. Y/N: Howdy. Ghost: *looks at Price with a face mask on* Ghost: ...*sighs and sits down* Pass the Goldfish. Soap: Yeaaaah, good man! Welcome to the party!

-- Shepard: Is anyone here straight?! Price: ...*hesitantly raises hand* Laswell: *pushes his hand back down*

-- Valeria: *angry ranting* Y/N, a captive: Stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I'm gonna fall in love with you!

-- Ghost: What in the hell are you doing? Y/N: Laying in the rain. Ghost: Why? Y/N: If I lay here long enough, it feels like it washes the sad away. So I'm gonna lay here until the sad is gone. Ghost: You'll get sick. Y/N: Better sick than sad, sir. Ghost: ...*looks at the sky, back down, sighs* Ghost: *lays down on the tarmac* Y/N: Got a lot of sad? Ghost: ...Yeah. Y/N: If the rain doesn't take care of it, let's trade sads. Then it'll at least be a different kind of sad. Ghost: Not sure you want my sad. Y/N: Maybe not, but I don't think you should have to handle your sad alone either. Ghost: ...alright. Y/N: Cool.

-- Price: Simon, it's three o' clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding? Ghost: Because I've lost control of my life.

-- Soap, with a gunshot wound: Do I regret it? Yes. Will I do it again? Most likely.

-- Y/N after doing something so badass it would fit in a movie: ...DID EVERYONE SEE THAT?? CAUSE I WILL NOT BE DOING IT AGAIN.

-- Ghost: You kidnapped the prime minister's daughter? That's illegal! Soap: Okay, Ghost, but what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing the prime minister's daughter, or destroying 141? Ghost: KIDNAPPING THE PRIME MINISTER'S DAUGHTER, JOHNNY! Fem!Y/N: Do you guys have like, a water or something? Snack maybe? No?

-- Y/N: I think there's been some confusion. I'm not the one in trouble here. Enemy Soldier: ...What? Y/N: There are only four of you. You'll need more than that. Gaz, hearing it over the intercom: ...they're gonna whoop-ass but we should probably go help them.

-- Someone: Why are you doing their straps for them? Price: They don't like velcro. Someone: Just do it yourself! Y/N: I'm not touching that stuff! I'll get neurotypical cooties.

-- Y/N, high on painkillers: If yo leg get cut off, would it hurt? Soap, in a hospital bed beside them: ...DUH Y/N: How though? Soap: Cause your leg got cut off! Y/N: Where you gonna feel the pain? Soap: In your le.... Y/N: Exactly bro! How you gonna feel the pain in yo leg if- Both: If your leg is gone! Soap: Whoooaaa... Y/N: Bro I swear, we're geniuses. Ghost, on his last brain cell: Fuckin'ell.

-- Ghost, about to lose his shit: Dear lord, I know we haven't spoken in a long time but if you could give me a little patience-

-- Gaz: Do you believe in God? Y/N: ...Yes & no. Gaz: Yes & No? What do you mean? Y/N: I believe there is a higher power, I believe a God exists. But...believing in God? Now that...haven't done that in a long time.

--

Gaz & Y/N: *dancing* Ghost: Can you two be serious for five seconds? Gaz, bustin' a move: Dunno sir, can you have fun for five seconds? Y/N: *stops and looks at Gaz* Gaz: *stops and is filled with instant regret* ...uh, sir, I- Ghost: Tell you what. I'll give you five seconds...to start running- Gaz: *turns to run and sees Y/N already yards away* YOU LEFT ME?! Y/N: I WANNA LIVE!!!!

-- Ghost: What are they doing? Price: Arguing in morse code. Soap: - .... .- - .----. ... / .-- .... -.-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ... .... --- . ... / .-. .- --. --. . -.. -.-- Gaz: -.-- .- / -- --- -- -- .- Soap: YOU FUCKIN' TAKE THAT BACK-

-- Soap: Keep your eyes closed, I have a surpriiisee!~ Ghost: You did your paperwork? Soap: I said surprise, not miracle.

-- Y/N, on tiktok: FOR ALL YOU NASTY ASSES IN MY DMS- *shows the team* THIS IS MY TEAM. STOP SENDING MY DICK PICS OR I WILL SEND THEM AFTER Y'ALL. Ghost: You've been getting dick pics? Soap: Who the hell's been harassing you online?! Y/N: SEE?? THEY'LL WHOOP YA ASS, SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

-- Y/N, on tiktok again: Alright, backfired on me. For all of y'all who are now trying to be nasty by THIRSTING for my teammates, uh, no. Stop askin' for my Captain's marital status, I'm not gonna tell you. No you may not get my teammate's dicks, I will not be giving you their social media, stOP ASKING I KNOW THEY'RE HOT BUT NO-

-- (I've fallen down the rabbit hole of Karen compilations, so, that's why I thought of this)

Y/N: Goodbye sir! Male Karen: Fuck you bitch! Go suck off your captain you fuckin' whore!! Y/N: Sure, I'll do that, goodbye! Male Karen: Suck my dick, whore! Y/N: Can't! It's too full of military dick, you'll need to make an appointment, GOODBYE!! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: Jesus. Christ. Ghost: I told you all America is shit.

(Bonus Note cause I can't put in anywhere else; on the topic of Venom + C.o.D. I know we have Soap in place of Eddie & Ghost in place of Venom, but hear me out. Y/N! being Ghost's host and Johnny being a third part. P o l y ! A u !)

[blackbirdi]

Batfamily Incorrect Quotes #1

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: *Blatantly falls*

Dick: Did you just fall?

Jason: No! I … attacked the floor.

Dick: Backwards?

Jason: I’m fuckin’ talented, okay!?

———————————

*Meeting Steph for the first time*

Bruce: Hold on, I don’t believe I caught your name.

Steph: I didn’t throw it.

Bruce:

———————————

Jason: Duke’s crying. What do I do?

Dick: Comfort him.

Jason: How?

Dick: Start with a hug.

Jason: … A - a what?

Dick: You need love.

———————————

Steph: You’re bleeding out a lot and Alfred says you need a blood transfusion. What’s your blood type?

Tim: *Wheezing* B … positive …

Steph: *Panicking* I-I’m trying, but you’re bleeding a lot!

Tim: *Stops wheezing and looks up at her in confusion* What?

———————————

Steph: Four months…

The rest of the Batfam: *Turning to Cass* What’s she talking about?

Cass: *Giggling slightly* Oh, it’s nothing.

Steph: THAT’S HOW FUCKING LONG YOU ALL STOOD THERE. WATCHING ME. WATER A FUCKING PLASTIC PLANT!

Cass: *Cackles*

———————————

Jason: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

Steph: It becomes *finger guns* daytrogen.

Jason: *Groans* I’m going home.

Duke: Good nitrogen.

Dick: Sleep tightrogen.

Tim: Don’t let the bedbugs bitrogen.

Jason: *Angry screaming as he walks away*

———————————

Bruce: Damn; the power went out again.

Young!Dick: Don’t worry, I got this. *Shakes* See? *Glows*

Bruce, concerned DadTM: WHAT!?

Young!Dick: *Proud* I swallowed a glowstick!

Bruce: *Stressed the fuck out* WHY WOULD YOU SWALLOW A GLOWSTICK!?

———————————

Literally anyone in the Batfam: How much sleep did you get last night?

Tim: I got a solid eight minutes. Not consecutively. But you’re not even that blurry.

———————————

Damian: How do I tell Drake I want to hit him with a chair?

Jason: Don’t tell him, just do it.

———————————

Dick: How would it feel to have a knife shoved up your ass?

Jason: Keep asking dumbass questions like that and you’ll have an answer.

Dick: *Backs away slowly*

———————————

Dick: Okay, everyone, let’s hug it out now!

Everyone else: *Grumbling as they group hug*

Bruce: Okay, who took my wallet?

Steph: *Whispering as she pockets it* Sorry.

[confused-wanderer]

Incorrect batfam quotes as things I’ve heard as a college student that definitely fit them:

—

Dick: Stop copying me!

Jason: StOp CoPyInG mE!

Dick: Oh my god you’re so annoying

Jason: oh my god you’re so annoying

Dick: I love you

Jason:

Dick: Say it bro

Jason: *booking it to the door*

Dick : SAY IT BACK MOTHERFUCK-

—

Barbara: .. wait I’m lost now

Stephanie: Girl I’ve been lost a long time ago

—

*while the batboys are doing laundry*

Dick: .. hey Jason?

Jason: yeah?

Dick: I put money and my clothes in the washing machine but it won’t start. Could you try?

Jason *stares at it and gently pries the door open before slamming it shut with such force that it swings open again*

Dick: DONT BREAK IT I PAID FOR THIS MAN

Jason: Hold on lemme try some- *swings harder*

Tim: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IDIOT ??

Washer *beeps and starts washing*

—

Duke: ah.. such a peaceful day and gorgeous vie-

*hears screaming in the distance*

Duke: Aaand we’re walking-

—

Tim: I’m sorry but could you tell me how to spell your name? I’m trying to save your contact.

Damian: It doesn’t matter.

Tim: Of course it does! I just want to make sure I spell it right.

Damian: No, seriously. It doesn’t matter how you spell it. That’s not even my real name.

—

Jason and Damian having breakfast in silence at a restaurant

Damian: so I have a knife in my room.

—

Bruce: And there’s this girl in the bathroom who’s been crying there for hours! And I don’t even know who it is, I can just see her shoes

Selina : Wait let’s check it out

Bruce: .. isn’t that an invasion of her privacy?

Selina: you’re no fun… I wonder what’s going on

Bruce: well she was talking to her friend about *insert very oddly specific rant about every microscopic detail*

Selina:

Bruce: ? What?

Selina: ..and youre trashing me for tryna find out who it is.

Bruce: Hey I was debating if I should call out and ask her if she was okay

Selina: Mhmm. Nosy. Imma go check-

Bruce: I have to fill my bottle anyways so I guess I’ll join..

— later —

Harley: and then what happened?

Selina: This mf was waiting for me outside while I found out and then I shooed him away to fill his bottle. And then we both watched as he placed it under the tap only for it to immediately start overflowing

Harley *howling with laughter*

Bruce: IT WAS HALF- EMPTY

Selina: It was FULL

Bruce: ..you’re exaggerating

Selina: Girl be for real you’re just as nosy as I am, that’s why we get along so well~

———————————————————————-

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

For You, I'd Bleed Myself Dry

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Early-ish Alexandria

Warnings: Suggestive (extremely mild); hangover

Summary: You're hung over and don't really remember how you got to Rosita's house the night before. Or what you had said on the way there.

A/N: Just a fun little drabble born of this incorrect quote. Suggested by @marvelcasey05

*gif is not mine

You didn’t expect to find Daryl still home when you wandered in the next morning. He was always an early riser, and though everyone else still slept, he would usually be long gone and outside the gates. So, when you tip-toed through the door and into the kitchen, your heels in your hand, he nearly scared the life out of you. You flipped the lightswitch and:

“Mornin’.”

“Jesus Christ, Daryl!”

The archer chuckled behind his coffee mug before tilting it the least bit more to take a sip. “Rollin’ in awful late.”

You shrugged “Or early, depending on how you look at it. Any left?” You nodded toward the cup. He gave a quiet mhm and got up to make you a mug. Your head was throbbing. You knew your makeup was a mess and your hair a disaster. You had slept in your dress at Rosita’s, so it was wrinkled and you were almost certain that it was only partially zipped in the back.The party hadn’t been that fun but the liquor had been flowing. That was why you went. Things in Alexandria had been stressful. Your group had been there a while. Long enough for so many problems to come along and be handled. The past week had been particularly eventful. Still, it had been handled and there had been some time to cut loose. 

So, you did.

You sat your heels on the counter and muttered a thank you when he slid the mug across the surface, narrowing your eyes across the rim as you readied for a drink. “Do you know how I take my coffee?”

“Guess you’ll need to take a drink an’ find out, won’tcha?” He was perching himself back on the island stool when you realized that Daryl Dixon was barefoot, wearing flannel pajama pants, and a faded Led Zepplin t-shirt. 

“You’re wearing people clothes.” You blinked, still holding the mug close to your mouth. 

Daryl smirked from behind his own cup. “M’a person, contrary to popular belief.” He took another sip, prompting you to take one of your own. He did know how you liked your coffee. Interesting. 

An ache in your left foot reminded you that you wanted nothing more than to go to your room and fall into a coma for a few hours. “I should probably take some—”

“S’behind ya. Got ‘em out earlier. Water too.”

There were two tablets on the countertop by the fridge, along with a glass of water. You warily picked them up, almost as if they would come alive and bite you. “Thank you?”

“Mhm.” 

Quickly swallowing them, you downed the water because coffee wasn’t the best tool for rehydrating, but you’d be damned if you’d give up that mug for anything. Collecting your heels and your coffee, you started walking backwards out of the kitchen. “Listen, I’m gonna head upstairs and get off my—”

“Perfectly good chair right here.” 

“What?” Now you were looking at him as if he’d grown a second head. There were no other chairs in the kitchen. Carol had the only other stool piled full of kitchen junk she had yet to put away. “Are you sure you’re awake?”

“M’wide awake. How’d ya get to Rosita’s last night?” 

Wait. Was Daryl blushing? “She helped—” No, that wasn’t right. Rosita and Tara came back long after you did. You distinctly remembered grumbling at them to turn off the lights. “How did I get there?” You said aloud, though softly.

“I took ya.”

Your shoes hitting the floor echoed through the quiet house, causing both you and Daryl to flinch. After a moment, no baby cried and no adults yelled. You walked forward and placed your mug back on the counter. “What do you mean you took me? You weren’t at the party.”

Cause Daryl’s home. He doesn’t like parties.

He shrugged but the pink tint to his cheeks was now traveling a route up to his ears. “Was workin’ on the bike. Saw ya stumblin’ ‘round in the dark. Didn’t wantcha to get hurt.”

“Did I—did I say anything stupid?”

And if I see him right now, I'm gonna ask to use his face as a chair.

“Nope.” The archer was staring at his coffee cup, rolling the smooth sides between his hands. He absolutely knew what you had said but he was giving you an out. Goddamn that man. He had to be beautiful, rough edged, and chivalrous at the same time? 

“Good.” You nodded. “Good. Thanks for the coffee.” You turned to walk out, leaving the coffee mug behind. “And for—you know, getting me there safely last night.” 

He nodded with a small, tight smile but didn’t say anything else. Maybe he was just teasing you. No, Daryl wasn’t the type. Well, he was but not with things that were at his expense. He was definitely going out of his comfort zone if the red tint on his face was any indication. Did he want to do that with you? You certainly wouldn’t mind. You’d wanted Daryl for as long as you could remember. Even before he started treating the group more like friends than survival buddies. There was always just something about him that called to you, pulled you in like a magnet, but there was this invisible line that didn’t feel safe to cross. Was he toeing that line with you now?

You might never get the chance again if you were to shut him down.

“Hey, Daryl.” You called from the stairs, barely looking over your shoulder. Your heart was racing.

“Yeah?”

“There’s—there’s no chair in my—what’re you—hey!” You were over his shoulder and being hauled down toward his room in the basement before you could do much more than laugh.

“Weren’t no way ya could make any line ‘bout a chair work.”

“Got a bed, right?”

“Got a mattress.”

“That’ll do, Dixon. That’ll do.”

[redak-ted]

yeah here flowerpunk incorrect quotes for the soul

Miles: I think I'm falling for you. Hobie: Then get up.

Hobie: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Miles: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Hobie: Welcome, fellow idiots Miles: Hello, Hobie Hobie: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Miles: You underestimate me

Hobie: What’s up guys? I’m back. Miles: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Hobie: Death is a social construct.

Miles, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me Hobie, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

Hobie: Stubs their toe FUCK! Miles: Mind your language! Hobie: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Miles: Hobie: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes, Miles.

Miles: This is such a bad idea. Hobie: Then why are you coming along? Miles: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Hobie: Change is inedible. Miles: Don't you mean inevitable? Hobie, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Miles, going over Hobie's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative. Hobie: Yes Miles: Okay…may I know what you create? Hobie: Problems.

Hobie: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Miles: Go the fuck to sleep Hobie: What gif I don't want to? Miles: Fuck You.

Hobie: Miles! My face is on fire! Miles: Hobie! Are you ok?! Hobie: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly. Miles: But your face is on fire. Hobie: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

Hobie: Don't stay up all night, Miles. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Hobie: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen? Miles: Neither. Miles: Because it's twelve.

Hobie: Three words. Say them and I'm yours. Miles: Three words. Hobie:

Miles: It’s dark in here Hobie: Don’t worry dude I got this Hobie: *Stomps their feet* Hobie: *Skechers light up*

Hobie: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Miles: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Hobie: Absolutely not.

Hobie: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Miles: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Hobie: No! Four to five seconds! Miles: Too late!!!

Miles: Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed something on the street and you just didn’t notice It? Hobie: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!! Miles: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration

[luxthestrange]

WHB Incorrect quotes#45 So much chaos-

Raph: FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS!

Leamas: What??

Raph: THAT'S HOW LONG YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT!?

Leamas: ...Wait what?

Raph: THE PLANT'S FAKE YOU HEATHEN SPAWN OF SOLOMON AND YOU KNEW??!?

Mc*crying of laughter* Buying that plant was the best decision of my entire life~

After Solomon managed to stop the fight between you and Raphael,sending the angel back to his home for the better and sending you to the time-out corner

Leamas: Good, Thanks, Dad....

Solomon is frozen in place, along with You, Nina, and Minhyeok

Leamas*Looks at others weirdly*Why is everyone staring at me?... Mc: You just called Solomon “dad”...You just said, “Thanks, dad.” Leamas: What!?- No, I didn’t. I said, “Thanks, man” Solo*Smilling at the fallen angel and pointing at self* Do you see me as a father figure, Leamas? Leamas*Blushes and rolls eyes at him* -No! If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me- Nina & Minhyeok: Hey! Show your father some respect!

-Late at night-

Mc*writing in a letter*"I'm going to kick.. your...ass-Sincerely Mc"

Mc: THERE! Now send it to heaven!

Leamas: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-

Mc: JUST DO IT!

later that same night the Angel brothers received a letter

Mich: So what does it say?

Raph*Reading the letter*...They say they're going to "lick my..."

Gabriel:..

Mich:..

Gabriel: Oh-

Raph*Standing up fast that he knocks on the chair he was sitting in and speed walks to the door*-I have to go now...

Part 6 of: