#merlin incorrect quotes

[evadne01]

This is the same thing old knights told old knights.

And I feel like writing this fic...

New servants being introduced to the prince’s servant.

Old servant: That’s Merlin…

New servant: Cool, he seems nice.

Old servant: He’s not. He hears and knows everything around here. One moment he can be your best friend, and the next, kill you if he thinks you’re a threat to his treasure.

New servant *sweating bullets*: Message received, I won’t go near that guy’s money.

Old servant *confused*: Money? No, Merlin’s treasure is the prince. The bastard serves our prince as if he were serving God, so you better serve the prince as if you worship the ground he walks on, or Merlin might think it’s better to get rid of you.

New servant *nervous laugh*: Talking like that, it sounds like a cult…

Old servant: It is a cult. The prince is God, and Merlin is his most faithful devotee. We are the followers and will be sacrificed if Merlin thinks it’s best.

New servant: 😰

[aspentreeonahill]

Leon: can you stop adopting everyone you find?

Merlin: I do not!

Leon: who’s that then?

Merlin, *who definitely isn’t hiding anyone behind his back* : … his names Daegal…

Daegal, *who is peaking over Merlin’s shoulder* : hi!

Leon: I let you keep Mordred and the dragon, no more.

Merlin: her name is Aithusa and she’s my actual daughter thank you very much!

Leon: THATS THE WORSE PART.

[runboybeneaththemoon]

[red-enby]

have my favorite one i’ve made

[wishiwasadruid]

Gwaine: Arthur asked me to pretend to be his boyfriend because his father is homophobic and wants him to date a noble but he ended up hating me so much that he was relieved when he found out Arthur was actually dating Merlin

Lancelot: Task failed successfully

Leon: Congratulations on being so awful you destroyed century old prejudices

[adeptune01]

All of the knights: Can you come collect your freak of a man please. He’s doing things.

Arthur: No I set him loose on purpose.

[merlindefender]

Someone: I thought I told you to not bring any back up.

Arthur: I didn't.

Someone: Who's that behind you then?

Arthur: Oh him? He's not back up. He's my emotional support servant. I bring him along on dangerous situations so he can see how awesome I am.

Merlin: *Waves*

[wispeth]

(doppelganger Merlin au. Arthur is looking at two Merlin's, who both have all of Merlin's memories, except the imposter doesn't have magic. which is perfect, because the real Merlin lied so flawlessly to Arthur that imposter Merlin would have a real chance to take over Merlin's life. oh and, uh, Merlin was drugged w a truth serum. so he can't lie about the magic if it comes up. The imposter is able to pretend to be Merlin better than Merlin can bc ofc the magic comes up.)

Arthur: What's the first thing you ever said to me?

Imposter Merlin, confidently: Hey, that's enough. You've had your fun my friend.

Real Merlin, dazed, looking over at the imposter in horror as he realizes that the imposter has all of his memories, and that the imposter is actually capable of lying rn unlike himself, which means Real Merlin can't even keep up his own facade, but the imposter can: (says exactly the same thing in perfect unison with the imposter, but looks a lot more lost and shaken about it)

Arthur, narrowing his eyes at them both: What is your favorite tunic to dress me in?

Imposter Merlin: The red one. (It was a fair enough assumption. It was the one that Merlin picked out for Arthur to wear more than any of the others.)

Real Merlin, unable to believe he's about to admit this, but he has truth potion in his system: Your nightshirt, when you decide to wear it... It is--you look the happiest, in that one. (gay sweatdrop)

Arthur, kind of floored by the vulnerability: (was honestly expecting Merlin to say the red one, but now he wasn't so sure because that also sounded like something girlish that Melrin might say) Alright... How many times have you saved my life?

Imposter Merlin, gleeful on the inside because he finally has a chance to play Merlin's part while Merlin can't even maintain his own web of lies because of the truth potion: (to this imposter's credit, he is very good at pretending to be merlin. he starts mumbling to himself and counting on his fingers, just as Arthur thought Merlin might have done.) Let's see, there was the dagger, the poison, the... (proceededs to ramble off most every single one that Arthur himself is aware of) ... so that's about, a dozen? I'd say?

also Imposter Merlin: (places his hands on his hips in Merlin's sassy way) I'm starting to think you owe me a day off.

Real Merlin, voice shaky, because they are getting nearer and nearer to the topic of magic: Twice a fortnite for as long as I've lived in Camelot... That's got to be in the hundreds by now.

Arthur, suddenly remembering all the creatures of the week that suddenly disappeared before they became a problem. He knew of about one every month or two, but he started reconsidering if his guardian angel had been taking care of threats that he perhaps DIDN'T know about: Erm... (still can't tell who the real Merlin is, because one of them is giving all the answers he's looking for and is acting exactly like he would expect Merlin to, but the other Merlin is being so damn earnest right now, as Merlin was wont to do in times of crisis) What is--what's an honest truth that you've told me that I have mistaken for a lie?

Imposter Merlin, knowing that he's being quizzed on the memories of their shared history, without missing a beat: Valiant's shield. It was enchanted with those snakes. You got into a world of trouble for confronting him about it in front of the entire court. (aka exactly the answer that Arthur was expecting from the real Merlin)

Real Merlin, with a knot in his throat and tears in his eyes because he knows he's doomed: (the first instance that came to mind was that time he saved Gwen's father from sickness using magic and Gwen got thrown in the dungeons for being an alleged sorceress--and of course that was his first thought, he is very very paranoid about the magic so it's all he's thinking about--he has to say the first one for the sake thought for the sake of honesty, even though it's damning) Gwen's not the s-sorcerer... I am. (is also making exactly the same face that he was making the day that he told Arthur about Valiant's shield, the face where he is pleading for Arthur to believe him. The imposter only has access to Merlin's memories through Merlin's eyes, so the imposter wasn't able to see what Merlin's face did that day, so he wouldn't have known)

Arthur, now even more unsure, just gapes for a moment because how fucking stupid does someone have to be to confess to sorcery in Camelot? Twice?! And it was worse yet that he still couldn't tell for sure which Merlin was the real Merlin because he'd never had to combine the image of Merlin with magic before and gods damn it all he needed a moment to process: (decided to start asking Merlin questions about himself instead of quizzing him on information that Arthur already knows) Who was your first love? (fully expecting to hear Gwen's name, although, Merlin was quite flamboyant....)

Imposter Merlin: It was Will... (blushes a little, looking flustered and matter of factly at the same time, in that awkward way that mimics merlin perfectly) You met him, in Ealdor.

Real Merlin, sneering at the imposter in the way that he did Cedric when he was bitter about replaced by a possessed man in the Cornelius Sigan incident (a/n: even though the episode I mention in this line is a totally different one. I think I mix referenced a lot of episodes in this ramble actually): H-her name was Freya. You killed her.

Arthur, alarmed: Killed her? Wh--Merlin--not Merlin--Merlin? (stammers on how to address this Merlin, tosses his hands up after 0.5 seconds) I do not recall killing any village girls in Ealdor..!

Real Merlin, shaking his head: She was the bastet. It wasn't her fault, she was cursed by a sorceress to become a bastet at night. It wasn't your fault either, you did what you had to; I don't blame you for what happened.

Arthur, suddenly remembering that night, remembering how Merlin was reaching for the dangerous feline beast as if it were only a kitten, as if Merlin was going to pet it, or shield it from Arthur, or any other number of things that also seem so very Merlin. Arthur hadn't even considered it before, but now? Looking back? Merlin certainly had been remarkably upset in the passing days after that: (more confused than ever) Wh... Where did -- where were you, yesterday? (Gaius already told Arthur that Merlin was at the tavern)

Imposter Merlin: At the Rising Sun. Gwaine took me out for a round of drinks. Something about a lucky charm?

Arthur, nodding along: (it was true that Arthur has heard Lancelot and a few other knights call Merlin a lucky charm) Hm... (turns to look at the other Merlin)

Real Merlin, with a wobbling lip: (laughs weakly, rolling his teary eyes a bit) I told him to stop using that excuse... (refocuses) I was crawling out of the mirror, if you must know. I TOLD you I had a funny feeling about it. (motions to the imposter) (he has tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, and his voice sounds exactly the same as it did that one time when he said to Arthur 'you're certainly not' after Arthur told him that no man was worth his tears)

Arthur, now watching Real Merlin more closely than Imposter Merlin, searching: Who was your favorite guest to mock at the feasts and whatnot?

Imposter Merlin: (kind of stumped bc he wasn't expecting a question like this)

Real Merlin, who is actually able to answer first after some thought: ..... (snorts) Does-- (snorts again) Would the Lady Catrina count as a guest, d'you think? Or should I--no--I'll say it was the Lady Vivian. You get this, LOOK on your face every time she sits near you at the banquet table when she comes 'round.

Arthur, jaw dropped in mock offense: Because she is rather touchy! We've been over this..! (doesn't even realized that he just responded to Real Merlin as if he were for sure the real Merlin, and momentarily forgot that there were two convincing Merlins present)

Imposter Merlin: Are you mad? Arthur, the fake me said it himself that he crawled out of the mirror and practices sorcerery..! (looks so earnest, so genuine, but it's just... not quite how Merlin would say it)

Arthur: (narrows his eyes at the imposter with slight suspicion)

Imposter Merlin: (gives Arthur a flat look, exactly like the real Merlin would do when Arthur says something stupid) Arthur, I am not a sorcerer. You would know. (a/n: last episode style)

Arthur, who had never once suspected magic, but did always know that Merlin had been keeping a secret from him (he'd always assumed it was the alcoholism, but now....): You'd think so, wouldn't you.... (glances at the real Merlin, looking a little hurt)

Real Merlin, not denying the magic at all: I was born with it. I use it for you, Arthur.

Imposter Merlin: You can't honestly--

Arthur, looking deep into Real Merlin's eyes: Swear to me, right now, that you are telling me the truth. Prove it to me.

Real Merlin: (grabs the hidden dagger out of the imposters hands, who had apparently been gearing up to attack Arthur, which is confusing enough all on its own because it made it difficult to tell which one of them was truly intent on attacking Arthur with it, and then charges Arthur)

Arthur, who normally has keen warrior reflexes but not when his enemies wear Merlin's face: (freezes up, and then watches in shock as the dagger clashes against the thin air about an inch in front of Arthur's chest, cast aside by some glowing shield that fades after a second)

Real Merlin: Why do you think it takes me three hours to polish your armor? Do you have any idea how long it takes to enchant the space between every link of chainmail? (drops the dagger at Arthur's feet so he knows it was just a demonstration and not a genuine attack, similar to the way that Arthur always aims just to the left of Merlin when he's throwing blunt objects such as goblets because he never wishes any actual harm on Merlin)

Arthur, blinking dazedly: (can't help but think of that one time that Merlin spontaneously became talented at juggling. it's such a strange thing to remember, and completely unrelated to the current happenings, but Merlin's smile was small and smug just like it had been that day, and it just--clicked)

also Arthur, looking slightly more sure of himself now: (needs one final test to make absolutely certain, but he thinks he knows just what to ask) What would you have me do, if I cannot tell you apart?

Real Merlin, without missing a beat: Arrest us both. (shrugs casually) I am a sorcerer after all. Better safe than sorry.

(And that's just it, isn't it. It was just like Merlin, to sacrifice himself like that. It was just so, unmistakenly Merlin.)

Arthur, smirking in mock offense: Better safe than--excuse you, I could take you apart with one blow!

Merlin *cough*hearteyes*cough* "Emrys" Hunithson™, the one and only: I could take you apart with less than that

(In the end, Merlin walks himself to the dungeons as the imposter is arrested, just to give Arthur peace of mind so there's no pressure to second guess his decision since even if Arthur chose wrong, there is no assassin Merlin imposter on the loose. Merlin and the imposter both spend 3 days in their respective cells before the imposter finally does some decidedly out of character shit and Arthur can have him executed with full confidence that it's not Merlin... since the guy really was very good at mimicking Merlin. Arthur didn't even realize that he'd needed it at the time, but looking back, he probably would have had a panic attack as the imposter was marched to be hanged. He probably would have doubted himself at the last second and wondered if he really did believe the right Merlin those few days ago. But thankfully, Merlin thinks ahead sometimes and is actually quite thoughtful and wise on these such rare occasions.)

[onceandfuturelesbian]

[arthur is being nice]

merlin: careful sire, it almost sounds like you care about me.

arthur, deflecting: i care for all my subjects.

merlin: technically, i’m not your subject.

arthur, thinking: fuckfuck merlin’s not-

arthur: well maybe i care about you specifically then.

[kissme-withyour-cherrylipstick]

Could not rest until I made this

[pigfacedbitch]

Merlin: Have you ever wondered what your future wife is doing?

Arthur: Husband.

Merlin: What?

Arthur: Future husband. And he's about to say 'Ow'.

Merlin: What do you mean- [ Arthur flicks his forehead before walking away ] OW! You're such an ass- WAIT.

more incorrect quotes here!

[mandoriana]

Arthur: What should we call ourselves now that we’re together?

Merlin shrugs: I don’t know, I’ve never thought of calling you anything other than Clotpole.

Arthur rolls his eyes: How about darling? It sounds a bit cheesy.

Merlin: Yes, you can think of better nicknames.

Arthur: Merls?

Merlin makes a face: No, the knights call me that, be more creative, sir.

Arthur: So what should I call you then?

Merlin smiles: Future husband sounds perfect to me.

Arthur: 😳

Merlin: 😏

Arthur blushing: Shut up, Merlin!

Merlin: 😘

[tiredcowboyy]

I always find the posts/fics where leons just so over witnessing merthur pining so funny. Like that man really had to see them from the start and the tension between them grow and he just had to sit and watch. Like I imagine every time a new knight joined they all brought the weird vibes up and leon each time was more and more over it.

Like it stared w lance early on being like

Lance: hey leon, is it just me or are arthur and merlin lowkey pining for each other

Leon: oh thank god! Someone finally brought it up, yeah theyve been like this for a while-

But then ended up as

Percy talking to the knights as they watch merlin and arthur bicker (read: flirt): ok but, does it seem like theyre fli-

Gwaine, sounding exhausted: yeah theyve been like this for a while

Percy: really? And theyve still not done anything about it?

Leon the long suffering, whose now had to watch them for almost 10 years: *eye twitch* nope.

Edit: just gonna leave these screenshots here

[runboybeneaththemoon]

Arthur: Okay, so you're my servant now. It's not really that important of a position, just like, idk, make sure you bring me my breakfast on time

Merlin: I would die for you, I would kill for you, I'd give up my humanity and become a living weapon for you, I would sit by your grave for over a millennium, awaiting your return-

Arthur: but would you bring me breakfast on time?

Merlin: Well that's asking a bit much, don't you think?

[starchaser45]

Arthur* the first like 2 episodes* : it's the law there's nothing I can do , I can never defy my father

Arthur*the rest of the series*: it's the law you know I can't defy my father, oh it's Merlin never mind LET'S DO THIS!!!

[wishiwasadruid]

Merlin: I almost got beheaded today!

Arthur: How!?!

Merlin: Oh I accidentally spilled some wine on your father. He pointed his sword at me and said “The person at the end of this sword is an idiot”and I asked which end.

Arthur: This is why I love you