#incorrect christmas

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Kate: How old were you guys when you realized Santa wasn’t real?

Benedict, whispering to Gregory: How old am I?

Gregory: You’re 27, Benedict.

Benedict, sadly: I was 27.

[loislame84]

Kate, handing Yelena a folded piece of paper: here you go.

Yelena, unfolding the note: what is this?

Kate, pointing to the title: it’s my wish list. See right here: Kate Bishop’s Christmas list.

Yelena: it just has my name on it.

Kate, blushing: no look at the bottom.

Yelena: my mistake it also has blue takis on it.

[apoetsworld]

Regulus *while staring at James*: Glasses are the absolute sluttiest thing a man can wear

Sirius: WHAT THE FUCK REG I ASKED WHAT YOU WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS

[tinkerbitch69]

The doctor (future): sorry pal. You’ve got a year of character development/forced self reflection/more abandonment trauma to go through.

The doctor (past): you really are a bastard you know that?

The doctor (future): yes I do, but you don’t yet! Have fun learning the hard way. mmmkay byeeeeeee ^^

[ir-dr]

Day 3697 - 25 December 2024

TETO TERRITORY!

.//projectTiGER

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck, holding a leaf over them: Look Eddie, we're under the mistletoe. You know what that means.

Eddie: You're literally holding a lettuce leaf, not mistletoe.

*Early the next morning*

Eddie, waking up at 3 a.m: Wait, was he was flirting with me?

[superbat-love]

Diana: Due to some rather extravagant gifts given out last year, this year we’ll be restricting Secret Santa gifts to under $100. Any questions?

Clark: Can we give someone rare items that we’ve found?

Diana: That’s fine, but it can’t be something that could potentially endanger anyone’s health—unless you want a repeat of the Pink Kryptonite Birthday Incident.

Clark: We… We agreed to never talk about that again!

Hal: Well, then I don’t want Bruce as my Secret Santa anymore.

Barry: I thought the giant statue of Diana that Bruce got her last year was pretty cool! Not that the Martian sculpture you gave me wasn’t cool, J’onn. It’s just… I wasn’t expecting it to start telepathically singing in the middle of the night. It shocked me.

J’onn: I’m glad to hear that. I heard humans enjoy surprises. And I liked the ancient artifact you gave me.

Barry: Uh… that was a souvenir from a gift shop in Hawaii.

Arthur: I got a snow globe of Atlantis from Hal. The Disney version.

Bruce: Priceless.

Hal: Hey, you got a Superman body pillow!

Clark: I got him a Batman body pillow too! They came as a set.

Barry: Aww, I bet Batman’s secretly a big softie and cuddles them in bed all night.

Bruce: [scoffs] Why would I need to… when I can just cuddle the real thing?

Justice League: [gasps collectively in shock]

[possibly-a-table-or-just-gay]

merry crimas if you celebrate, happy regular day if not <3!!

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8

[sleepylapa]

[Christmas Eve]

Max: hmmm, where's Charles? I haven't seen him in a while

Pierre*jokingly*: I don't know, maybe you should look under the tree?

Max: Hahahaha, yes Charles is the most important gift in my life!

[At the same time, right under the tree]

Charles*in a gift ribbon and with a bow*: how long will this idiot look for me? I'm tired of lying here

[jstoddwrites]

random:

but i genuinely believe that bruce goes full billionaire father on Christmas. it is EASILY the best excuse he has to spoil the fuck out of his kids, and buy literally every single thing he thinks they would like. what are they gonna do, tell him no??? it's christmas, he's SUPPOSED to buy gifts, he's SUPPOSED to try and buy their love. if there is one day a year he gets to act a fool, and swipe his card as many times as he likes it is then.

and because he's such a freak who, for all his faults, fucking LOVES his kids -- he absolutely has a W.E elf squad, 2 elves assigned to each kid, whose sole job is to accumulate a list and find every single item on that list, and if that means haggling and daring to get into a fist fight for the last one, you better fucking do it. he is paying big money to make sure everything is secured. . . do not fail him.

everyone's still haunted by the 2013 "incident" involving dick grayson wayne, a lack of an indoor trampoline, and an uncomfortably cold conference room.

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Anthony: I accidentally ate Daphne’s Christmas cookies. How long do you think I have left?

Hyacinth: Ten.

Anthony: Ten?

Hyacinth: Nine.

[mynxk]

Wylan: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique fleeting creations.

Jesper, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at Nina: That's beautiful.

[hotteststar]

oh i wish remus lupin will be my christmas present this year

-probably sirius black at some point

[118inthewild]

Eddie: I accidentally ate Buck’s Christmas cookies. How long do you think I have left? Chris: Ten. Eddie: Ten? Chris: Nine.

[1-800-marauders]

marauders era as my family part 4✨

sirius and regulus decorating cookies for christmas

sirius, showing off his snowman cookie: hey!! look at my cookie☺️

regulus, with a cookie that just says “fuck you sirius”: thats cool but mines better

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Clipboard Buck organizing the station's Christmas party*

Buck: Christmas lights, tree and mistletoe?

Chim: Check.

Buck: Eggnog and hot cocoa?

Hen: Check.

Buck: Santa and elves suits?

Ravi: Check.

Buck: Gingerbread house building station?

Eddie: Check.

Buck: Alibi and bail money?

Bobby: Check- wait, WHAT?! What do you think is gonna happen?

Buck: Just covering all my bases cap.