#in any case everyone knows shits fucked
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No one really wants to talk about election stuff much I'm sure but I do think if you're going to claim voting for one candidate over another you do you diligence and actually look at what someone's done while in office. If you're serious about your political action, feel free to read further. Keep in mind I am not American, but unfortunately the entire world is affected by American politics.
I saw a post recently saying "hey I know everyone's saying theres no difference between parties at this point but its so important you vote for the lesser evil because of workers rights and environmentalism and gaza(because the other guy is worse!)" when if they had actually looked at what the person they insist is a champion of those things has done on those fronts I think they wouldn't be saying so (though for gaza they at least dont say he is doing well on that front, thank you for that at least , bad liberal politics post).
I don't like being a downer, and I don't like the idea of spreading nihilistic hopelessness, but if you shout from the rooftops a candidate or a party is doing wonders in these areas and they actually are not, that's misinformation. That helps no one.
Honestly the way certain people get complacent when they vote in the "good" party worries me greatly. "As long as I vote in these guys, everything will be done right! I can stop worrying and stop paying attention." And then those guys are doing the exact same stuff, but with polite language on top to hide the crime of it.
"I believe in workers' rights" as you quash a rail strike that is the difference between rail safety both for employees and communities near the tracks kind of thing.
Not like there was an environmental crisis over that recently? Oh but they paid a 15 million dollar fine (a company worth 48.87 billion, so a tiny fee to continue to criminally understaff trains overwork operators, and pay them nothing).
"Its a great tragedy what is happened in Gaza" as you bypass congress to send more weapons to Isreal. And to say Trump wants to nuke Gaza? He probably has said so, he won't because Isreal wants to keep the land habitable so they can have all of it. There is no "worse" here. The guy in power already signed carte blanche for Isreal to kill every Palestinian. If we can't reach Biden on this issue, it doesn't matter we can't reach Trump. In this instance specifically, there is no difference, If you're pretending Nukes are an actual option you clearly do not understand what is happening in this situation at all. This is fucking horrible and I feel like throwing myself out a window over the fact nearly every western superpower is supporting this genocide, but to state "oh, the other guy would do genocide HARDER" there isn't harder here. The most you can argue is "he will also do the same shit". Thanks, we know (also I will continue to do all I can to help Palestinians be it protest, mutual aid funds, donation drives, and vocal unerring support because I'm sure the people perpetuating this genocide would love if people against them did throw themselves out windows).
I wish people were more honest about their motivations here. And especially more honest about the fact they have zero idea on things the party they decided are the "good ones" are actually doing. It makes me feel like someone could tell you "I'm a good person" while spitting in your face and you'd look up wondering why it's raining.
Do I want Trump to win the election? Not at all. All he does is lie and self aggrandize and do whatever the fuck makes him the most money.
The thing is Biden and his party /also/ do all they can to protect the financial interests of their lobbyist backers, often backed by billion dollar corporate interests, this has been made even more legal by SCOTUS recently.
and of course whenever SCOTUS comes up people point to how trump elected these justices doing all this, while also ignoring: Obama had a supermajority while first in office and promised to codify Roe vs Wade into law to enshrine abortion rights and did not.
Why? Well. The only way that really seems to make sense seems to be 1) they didn't really want to enshrine abortion rights or 2) they wanted to keep dangling it just out of reach so you keep voting for them. after all, if they permanently protect women's rights, how can they send you fundraising emails about how women's rights are in question?
The Supreme Court should honestly have been reformed by now anyway, but neither of the parties that rule the United States will ever address it's issues. You basically have a council of sages who take gifts from billionaires running your ultimate law deciding station of government, and no matter what you do you can't fire them. And they are now making policy decisions that say specifically "you can't do anything about us being bribed" and "The president has total immunity while in office". Yet the party in power does nothing about it,
as for that second one you could argue not taking action on rulings they think are wrong proves they are better than the opposition, but saying something is wrong while doing nothing to rectify it says something else to me. It tells me they now have a great new way to fundraise and encourage you to vote.
"Vote for us, or Trump will literally assassinate you! Don't worry I won't though! But I'm not going to do a single thing to repeal it, my hands are tied haha. You wouldn't want the other guy to have this power though? Right? Again, no, I won't do anything to stop this."
>In before a liberal democrat tells me pointing this out is as bad as a vote for trump and asking for anything from a government is treason(I'm not American so good luck bud). Because we all need to sit around and nod politely as the world collapses, after all if people saw the corruption they might (gasp!) not vote! and then the same shit would happen faster.
Though, tbh, and I feel like shit saying this, at least if it was happening under the Republicans you would actually be paying attention and maybe the Democrats would actually be pushing back to at least look like they give a fuck (ineffectually, but it would be cool if you could point to a thing they've done in office effectually to contrast any of this other than say the right words. Actions actually matter).
I don't want things to come to that but as the public stands around doing nothing in the face of these abuses of power, war crimes, and dissolution of worker' rights and the party in power only campaigns off fear and does no positive things to gain votes... what other outcome will there be?
... and even if they did say they were going to do something good now... how could we believe it would actually happen?
#personal thoughts about politics#if you're prone to going off half cocked of you read negative press about liberal politicians you should maybe skip this but also#it might be good for you to read?#in any case everyone knows shits fucked#I tried to be short here btw#theres a whole lot of other stuff too#oops im a leftist and I think no politician is above reproach
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Once again I read fanfiction that seems to have been precisely written to deal psychic damage to me.
#this is about viridian the green guide. you guys actually read this slop?#boring as shit writing#awful plot lines (trigger has been resolved get new material#excessive use of italics and ‘problem child’. has the author heard anyone use a nickname irl ever#I hate bakugou slightly less than I hate Deku but even I could tell they suck at writing him#skipped over a few chapters because the writing was melting my brain but he would never be that condescending to himself#who the hell thinks ‘I’ve decided to not be an asshole’ with total seriousness#back to the bad plot lines. endeavor *checks notes* becomes a nomu and dies? I know the author nerfed everyone in the ground to match Deku#but wtf was the idea here#most successful cases in Japan and the strongest fire quirk ever (besides Dabi) and he gets treated like fodder?#there’s a certain childish canadence fanfiction writers type in when discussing ideas with others and the whole fic reeks of it.#the general easy going and generic aura vtgg emanates makes it even more insufferable#yeah insufferable is definitely the one word to describe this fic#original fic is ass and it only popularized the concepts. now you have even more bad writers speedrunning terrible concepts#it’s two am so this might not makes sense but whatever. not tagging this as mha because there are a lot of people who like this thing.#also fuck fics with love interests who were pretty happy in canon but actually have two thousand problems in fics#rant#anyways! I need to check into my games#I need to find the fic summarized so I can properly write my fanfic bashing vigilante/quirkless aus. barely any difference anyways.
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I used to not like batman bc he was the epitome of dudebro edgy comic guy, like a Deadpool fan but like... Worse, but after Pattinson turned him into an awkward antisocial pathetic man I have come to reconsider.
I think he's fun as long as he's not this hypermasculine grumpy man and instead a guy that writes goth poetry and wears so much eyeliner that he looks like a raccoon and hates talking to people so he just stands around threateningly barely saying anything, and also he's a dad who grew up almost completely in a mansion after experiencing major trauma who chronically adopts fucked up kids and teaches them how to throw a punch. I think that is cool. Like he's still so emotionally repressed but he loves his kids and it's messy but ultimately he's good. People just think he's secretly a vampire or a demon but he's really just a college dropout with several unidentifiable issues and one of them is Too Much Money.
#also lego batman movie batman is good#i think batman is secretly a little silly but not a single person can ever know about that or he will die#dipping my toes back in the superhero genre bc I miss reading/writing fight scenes and comic style weird shit#the only thing is I can't tell if I like the Bruce Wayne persona to be Brucie (Whore/ Bimbo/ Sweetiepie) or Bruce (cryptid/ awkward hermit)#on one hand the juxtaposition of Batman and Brucie is so funny but also that is a sad little man and I am tired of playboy types#in any case Everyone wants to fuck him#Hi I have a new interest but also getting into comics is Hard and there's so much out there so I'm just gonna read fic lol#i just need the itch scratched of comic accurate Weird Shit and Violence that AA doesn't quite give me#also the found family is nice#the vibe of batman (dark silent edgy) and Robin (baby colorful silly tiny) is perfect#wait wait AA batfam au#let me cook
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If you think of it, many of the people in this fandom keep proving Monoma right and making his character have so much sense- like guys, class 1-B is not the lesser class. They aren't weaker than class 1-A, the classes weren't assigned by strength or anything like that. The only difference between the two classes is that the fucking MC is in one of them, which automatically makes them the center of attention. If Midoriya got assigned to class 1-B then no one would fucking think they're lesser than class 1-A lol.
"How Hagakure/Mineta/whatever got in class 1-A?" girl the question is how they got in the hero course, not class 1-A (which is a talk for another post, not this one). Them being in class 1-A doesn't mean they're automatically stronger than everyone in class 1-B
#Like I'm so fucking SICK of everyone still acting like class 1-B is weaker than class 1-A which is NOT#The manga si nearly done so fucking grow already#Monoma is so right to throw shade at class 1-A like. They're good too. They deserve recognition too#Not class 1-B's fault no villain attacks them looool#I don't know if is something actually confirmed or not but I think half the students were put in class 1-A cuz that was Aizawa's class and#he could erase their quirks in case of something. Many quirks in class 1-A are lowkey dangerous if your control on them is shit#Todoroki? Bakugou? Aoyama? Kaminari? Midoriya? Tokoyami? Damn even Iida if you think of it. Ashido. Like someone needs to be able to#'restrain' them if something happens. I don't remember being any destructive quirk on class 1-B not on that lvl anyway. Not something that#Vlad King couldn't control on his own#So yeah. Get off your white horse and open your fucking eyes#Class 1-a = Class 1-b#Sorry guys but the fandom on TikTok is slowly killing me#Like I dropped the manga after the whole villain arc and I still know as much how is so hard to understand#And gosh don't get me started on people thinking Shinso got transferred from class 1-B to class 1-A DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOW#His whole deal was him being in a general course??? And not having a flashy/strong quirk???? How the fuck would you expect him to be in a#heroic class when their exam was DESTROYING ROBOTS when his quirk is literally BRAINWASHING PEOPLE#He only joined that exercise between classes cuz at that point the school was scouting him for a transfer in the heroic course#And he joined both classes didn't he? He participated twice
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I wish I could tell every young person with a uterus (especially with bad cramps and/or dysphoria and/or depression, etc) that there is a decent chance they just straight up don’t need to live with that. don’t let the stigma surrounding contraceptives and the expectation that you should just ride it out and suffer win. for the love of god if there’s a chance you can lighten or even stop your period and it’s symptoms all-together, unless there’s a legit health concern, your doctor should at least make you aware of that option. I want every young person to know that “birth control” is not just for birth control and it has the potential to make your life infinitely easier to live. do not give in to anti-pill propaganda im serious
#kibumblabs#I remember being in late high school and my doctor suggesting it because of how terrible my dysphoria/related depressive episodes related to#menstrual cycle shit is. and like. im not saying it was a flawless transition but good god im serious it changed my fucking life#not to the extent testosterone would but it was still like. a Big Deal#because I was like. what the fuck. I’ve been suffering through this shit for years. and no one told me this was a thing? we’re all just#expected to suffer? because it’s ‘Normal’????#this whole time I could just. turn the bleeding off. or at least Down. turn off the debilitating breast soreness and swelling. etc.#anyway im not sure why im thinking about this but#i guess every time i hear someone (without any known health issues that’d interfere) like ah time for my monthly Week Of Pain And Misery#i want to shake them by the shoulders like. YOU DONT NEED TO LIVE LIKE THIS. PLEASE I JUST WANT YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS.#and yes i know it doesn’t work for everyone or sometimes there’s side effects that make it not worth it or what have you#but for a huge huge huge amount of people. they just don’t know it’s an option. because it’s labelled Birth Control. and because there’s#this long-standing quiet fear mongering about it that makes it seem more dangerous and sinister and promiscuous than it is#similar in a lot of ways to other stigmatized hormone treatments. like. well. you know#doesn’t help that when you first get your prescription it comes with the worlds biggest list of Potential Issues (most of which are either#minor temporary or unlikely)#grahhghhhhhhhhh anyway. on a seperate but related note shout out to my fellow tboys who either didn’t have their periods totally stop on t#or (like in my case) they came back after like Years for whatever reason and that had to be dealt with via supplementary contraceptives#cw menstruation
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How life feels after I block the people who are obviously using AI to create their content
#[rawbin]#Please do not pollute fandom spaces with your AI content#ESPECIALLY don’t try to label it as your own.#not gonna name any names in case I’m wrong but man.#some of u barely even try to hide it 😭😭😭#I can very rarely tell when something is AI and usually need it pointed out to me so you know it’s bad when *I* can tell#It’s so inconsiderate and plainly weird to pretend as if you’ve written something when you only typed in a prompt for the AI :/#I’m not gonna judge students who use AI to help them write essays too hard cause like. I get it it’s tough#but don’t fucking use that shit for what’s meant to be CREATIVE WRITING in a fandom space it’s so gross and dishonest#I get you want recognition and you want to be known and you want to have an audience but it’ll be so much more rewarding for EVERYONE if -#- you just put in the effort to do that yourself.
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3bAXvhJ2Hm/?igsh=ajlmdmIybDR4Ymx3
YEAH the Shoto-Zuko situation is fascinating. Fire powers, scar on the face caused by a parent, sibling with blue fire who is absolutely unhinged because of parental favoritism, etc.
#that said#while both have shitty dads who are the root of their problems#I'd take enji over ozai any day#oh you mean in a fight#in that case let me fistfight Ozai#no but seriously on one hand you have a guy who is so many kinds of fucked up and did fucked up things but still genuinely tries to be good#and ya know actually cares about the family and realizes he fucked up big time and works to fix what he can(while knowing he can't fix it)#meanwhile Ozai is just An Asshole™ to everyone and doesn't give a shit about anyone other than himself#and is actively evil and loving it and a *let me have world domination or I kill you* type
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Don't know whether it's a product of my upbringing or just part of who I am, but I really do tend to shrug off things that seem to send others into massive guilt spirals. Like, what's the point? Either you meant to do it or you didn't. If you meant to do it but regret it now, make what amends you can & resolve to do better, then move on. If you didn't mean to, be honest about it, apologize if need be, & try to do better. Then move on.
Beating yourself up truly serves no purpose. What are we, catholic? If there is a god, I truly don't think they'd care, anyways
#speculation nation#religion might have some part in it. i was taught a flavor of christianity that portrayed god as loving above all else.#portrayed god as *forgiving*. thats the point of jesus dying on the cross? forgiving your sins?#i was taught that so long as you tried to do good and believed in god then you would go to heaven.#none of that internalized guilt shit. it really serves no purpose.#this could potentially stem from prior abuse too. in which case. well. i hope people can break out of those patterns of thought. sincerely.#i have a history with abuse but idk ive run under a 'fuck those people' mentality. why should i run by the way they treated me?? genuinely.#no one person is singularly horrible and irredeemable. no not even you.#youre your harshest critic. you have front row seats to all ur nasty thoughts. things that most people dont say out loud.#everyone has nasty thoughts though. some more than others. but what matters is what you *do*. not what you think.#no one is gonna know any mean or awful thoughts you have if you dont tell them. thought crimes arent real. what matters is what you *do*.#and even for the things you do wrong. everyone makes mistakes. just work to do better next time.#genuinely makes me so sad to see polls asking about ppl's self perceptions & seeing majority of ppl so down on themselves.#like come on. i used to think i was an awful person bc i knew all the mean and kind of manipulative things id think.#but eventually i recognized that no one is perfect and everyone has ugly thoughts. just do your best to do good & learn from your mistakes.#if you do that much then youre a well-meaning human being. not perfect but no one is. that should be enough.#maybe if i exhibit enough of my 'idgaf' attitude about this kind of thing i can influence some other ppl with it as well. 🤔🤔 hmmm
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i think i'm still having trouble processing the heart attack because i wasn't there when it happened like i was at work... for some reason i always imagined i'd be there for it and even though i saw her in the hospital right after she got the stent put in her heart it just isn't clicking for me that that's actually what happened. like when my sister called me to tell me it felt really real then but i think i just immediately entered a dissociative state out of stress like i really wasn't fully there. and now she's back home and it's like so weird because aside from the injuries from the ivs and some bruising she appears totally fine outwardly... and i'm scared to think or talk about it because i'm scared i'll bring some kind of evil into the house that will try to take her away again.
also before this all happened i got tickets to a rave with my friend and i asked my mom so many times if i should just stay with her instead and she told me to go because i already spent money and... i guess but i feel so bad and again i'm scared if i go out this weekend i'll cause something bad to happen. but some selfish part of me wants to go and feels like that superstitious feeling is just stupid.
#i know this post sounds narcissistic as fuck with all the i me me me i shit but... idk#i am scared still. don't really know what to do#i mean i'll have my phone and i'll check in with everyone regularly#and she has medicine in case she has any heart troubles again so she can kind of stall anything else bad that could happen#but...#you know like that's my one and only mom i don't want to play with shit like this#might just take some kind of amulet or good luck charm to the rave with me.
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conundrum. im trying to be more Real (less chronically dissociated n shit) (well really its mostly depersonalization and derealization that i deal with but those are less familiar words to most) but i dont want real. im sick of it. why should i be a person. i dont want that. fucj that. i want fantasy. i want fun. i want evenings to feel endless and almost overwhelmingly full of possibilities instead of just The Time When I Go To Bed. i wanna be a kid. for real this time. i want the world to be mysterious and thrilling to me. i wanna feel shit deeply. man, im done with this shit. i have all my little ducks in a row and i feel like shit. im doing the normal thing. ive DONE the normal thing. and i dont like it. its dull. i do believe, even deeper down, that the only real ‘purpose’ to life is to help others. to do good and make the world a less shitty place to be trapped in. but god it really is a trap, isnt it. like im not suicidal anymore, havent been for years. but im just so painfully bored of the colors of life. i dont think what i want exists. and if it does, i dont think im allowed to have it.
#turns out i dont feel any different now#ive moved all the way across the country and i dont feel any more free#dont get me wrong its nice to have some more Space#but fuck. im still the same me and i still feel the same way#bc it wasnt about being in portland or living with my parents#those didnt help but they werent the root cause#the were just the lemon juice on the paper cut yk#and school wont change that. work wont change that#i dont think theres a way out of life that isnt death#and i WANT TO LIVE. just not like this#i want what life could be#what i thought it might be#but it isnt and this isnt enough for me#im angry. i want more. there has to be more.#cuz its EVERYWHERE its repeated over and over again in art and conversation#so either everyone is making that shit up (which i dont think is thr case)#or i just havent ever been able to access that feeling in my living memory#i know how to feel. and i know how to think. i just dont know how to be#and you cant do much of the first two when the third is more or less a no-can-do#like i still have a hard time WALKING#apparently most people can walk without looking at thr ground#literally i dont look at the ground out of lack of self confidence#i do it so i dont eat shit#my body is still foreign to me#it feels so wrong#to be in and to operate#i wasnt supposed to be in this body#hmmm :(#whatever the fuck
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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a bit insane to know there's people out there who think i'm hot shit tbh. you know i'm a pathetic cringefail loser who literally can't do anything, right?? please raise your standards 😔💔
#had a meeting with my mentor/guide/man i really gotta figure out some english word for her today#and basically unprompted she brought up that like. she thinks i'm amazing for having goals and working to get them#which i was honestly baffled by bc. i don't do anything 👍#my past self sets shit up for me to regret later bc i hate doing stuff. that's it#never heard anyone describe me as ambitious but in her eyes that's like a defining trait of mine#i'm highkey worried i'm gonna disappoint her 😭 and. everyone else.#my method is usually to do the bare minimum so no one develops any expectations#and that way they're always surprised when i do more#unfortunately this plan falls flat bc for some reason ppl keep having expectations of me#not ill intentioned ones. idk if that's the words. ig they're more like hopes?#like they hope i'll do more they hope i'll be better. not for themselves but for me#and then that inevitable disappointment hurts in a different way bc you know it comes from genuine love#i can't even be mad in that case 😭 like what are their expectations of me. for me to be happy??#(honestly in that case i AM angry you should def drop that that's literally impossible 👍)#ok now i'm rambling. sorry. ig this conversation fucked me up a bit bc i've been real stressed since#vent#kinda???????#ask to tag
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Hello
uuuuuuh guess I'm sort of back here after a long time
yes my life currently sucks, how did you guess it?
#I've opened my own business few months ago and I don't know if it just needs time or if it is going like shit#but in any case I'm stressed as fuck#I think I've aged 5 years in 5 months#and I'm more poor than ever#can I get an hurrà for poor life choices?#I mean hi everyone#if anyone it's still here
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this sucks so much ass i should be able to sue and i fucking mean that
#LIKE WE ARE GOING ON WEEK THREE OF THIS TORMENT AND I HAVENT GOTTEN ANY LESS SANE#IM SERIOUS WHEN DOES THIS SHIT GO AWAY#im fucking. im erratic!!! im lightheaded my CHEST HURTS i cant BREATHE im borderline getting vertigo here this SHOULD COUNT AS A SICKNESS I#SHOULD BE ABLE TO CALL IN SICK TO SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THIS MASSIVE BULLSHIT#SORRY? ANY LESS SANE I MEANT ANY MORE SANE FFS#i talked to someone in my real actual life about this today and they were like yeah it sounds like ur going insane lol. THANKS I KNWOW#THIS IS SO CRAZY EMBARRASSING!! HEY!!! THIS IS SO CRAZY EMBARRASSING and on top of that theres no WAY this is going to work#like lets get worst case scenario here folks lets say i do talk to them and theyre like woah! hey! i like you too! :]#theres no way im not fucking stupid and dont immidiately shoot myself in the foot with it theres no FUCKING way#ugh i already know myself. i KNOW ill be like well thats a bad idea actually!!!! bc youre great and fucking. brilliant and personable and#totally gorgeous and EVERYONE likes you and theres no way in hell my dumb ass isnt just going to drag you down!!!!#theres no WAY you dont deserve better than this!! theres no POSSIBLE world where you don't have better options!!!#ugh doesnt THAT just reek of insecurity or just being a lil shyyy but i MEAN IT. I TOTALLY MEAN IT. ugh. i hate it here i hate it here i ha
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driving got me feeling a Certain Way .
#i feel like im going insane like .#the number of ppl that just straight up have their whole ass phone right in front of their face is INSANE#like u know ur going to get someone killed right ?? RIGHT ?????#best case they’re causing unnecessary traffic which is also fucking infuriating like U CAN FUCKING WAIT TO SEND A TEXT. U CAN WAIT.#& it seems like running stop signs & red lights is becoming more regular like .#like . u know that’s gonna get YOU killed one day right???? ur gonna run a fucking stop & another idiot is also gonna run that same stop#& ur both hopefully going to die so therere less of you out here driving like fucjing assholes#i don’t fucking get it but ig there’s nothing to get bc they’re probably the stupidest pieces of shit ever & will never think they’re#in the wrong .#@everyone who does any or all of the above pls kill urself immediately i am so serious#while we’re on the topic they should put a brick wall at the end of lanes thatre about to end#if ur not going to fucking merge before the lane ends then ur not merging at all asshole#it’s ur responsibility to find a spot to merge in#it is not my job to make sure that the lil baby drivers have space to merge in a mile AFTER the fucking lane ends#don’t let me catch u out in the streets being a bitch bc i’m at my wits end .
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