#i feel like im rushing everything
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Imalways so torn up between letting myself feel negative emotions besides anger cause I never do and being like wellllllll... it IS nearly 9 so really none of these are Real emotions so what's the point?
#gamer txt.#i think im hiding from myself again#what with my endless optimism and hope#i dont think i really beat my depression i think i mighta just covered it up really well by accident#and that the winter is not fucking helping me out here#even if i do actually have my shit sorted out which i dont but if i did then i feel like i shouldn't#im way too put together for someone with my problems at this fucking age#this is the age where i can actually like. suck ass and not being Super judged for it this is the age for making mistakes for being fucking#stupid and im wasting trying to pretend ive got everything on lock#i feel like im rushing everything#yous know i only like realised ive been masking my whole life like. this year#like Thats how hard i hide from myself! i didny even fucking realise!#but like whay the hell can i do about it now i dont ever have the opportunity to be myself#its not like i have a moment before every action where i can decide what to do its already happened and i didny have the chance to think#is 1 step forward 2 steps back meant to be like motivational in any way cause i think that might be what i go for#honestly i need to let myself make mistakes and do stupid shit and remind myself im not infallible#and the worst part about all this is that im trying so hard to not go none of these are real feelings its 9pm and winter#and knowing theres a decent chance thats actually the case#i dont want it to be the case#i dont want to the perfect quiet endless sympathy for others no attention no care required kid anymore#i want to be fucking messy because i feel like a fucking mess and everyone knows im a fucking mess and they just pretend im not#and even if all these feelings are just for right now and arent really ''real'' i know damn well ill still be upset about it in the morning#if no one reads this#because i need the attention im so fucking desperate for the attention i need someone fucking anyone to see the real me#becauese no one does! not even me most of the time!#iiii might do something stupid tonight? if i do just know please that it wasnt rash or impulsive and that ive been wanting to do it for ages#i just need to be a stupid kid for once in my fucking life
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trainer Bakugou who you're a little terrified of the first day you're paired with him. when asking for a trainer at the gym, you had expected the friendly redhead who always looked so sweet and encouraging and cut as hell. you weren't expecting his grumpy looking blond counterpart, who was all glares and shouts for his clients to keep pushing themselves.
you were hesitant at first, before you quickly realized that it was all a ruse, for the most part. he pushed those who needed that extra encouragement, but was more lenient to people like you who simply wanted a professionals guidance. so, after a few weeks, you liked him for the most part, and his looks damn sure made it easier to cozy up to the big guy.
the only issue you've been having with Bakugou though are the...coregasms, as you've seen them been named on social media, that you keep experiencing. the first time, you weren't sure what it was, why your stomach and pelvis kept tightening up. you couldn't have...climaxed, or anything. you hadn't even been touched!
but, as the weeks go by, and the workouts get more strenuous, they've become harder and harder to subside and ignore, and so had Bakugou's commands to keep going when you suddenly stopped. you can only lie and say its cramps so many times before he realizes that something is up.
you're midway through a good morning, when that familiar feeling starts tightening in the pit of your gut. you clench your eyes shut, shaking your head a little, as if you could ward off the impending feeling. bakugou notices though, frowning at your almost pained expression in the mirror, walking up behind you to stop you as you pull yourself back up. his hands are on your waist, and as you come up, you feel his bulge glide over the curve of your ass, and something in you snaps.
you gasp, buckling over, one hand on your knee as the other reaches back for bakugou's hand to keep you up as your thighs shake. you can feel yourself spasming, clenching and unclenching around nothing, secretly wishing you had something that could fill you up, something that you felt throb against you as bakugou leaned over your form.
"Another coregasm, huh?" he asks you lowly, his lips brushing your ear as you bite your bottom lip to hold back your moan. your eyes buck open though, when his words sink in, head tipping back to look at him in the mirror, only to find his gaze already on you.
"You knew every time?" you ask quietly, panting now that its finally starting to pass over you. but bakugou doesn't let you up from this position, especially since the area you're in seems to be desolate for now.
"It's hard to ignore how pretty you look when you cum, sweetheart." Bakugou seals his words with a firm press to your ass, his cock rubbing the seam, and you can practically feel the heat and veins of it through your thin bottoms. you groan under your breath, getting lost in the feeling of him grinding against you, when he suddenly speaks again.
"You still feel it?" he asks, voice low as he looks at you through his lashes. you nod, biting at your bottom lip as you meet the steady rock of his hips, watching how he smiles before slotting his lips against your ear.
"Want me to help make it go away?" and he does, in the employee locker room after hours. he makes it go away, and rebuild, and go away again and again until you're hoarse and your legs are weaker than they typically are on leg day. bakugou helps the ache go away, but not for that sweet redheaded coworker of his, whose fists have fucked his cock the entire time of watching bakugou rail you over the locker room bench again and again.
#remember when I said in my lion bkg tags that I would write that long fic#sorry but I lied 😔#idk its been so hard to write long fics for me lately!!#I thought it would be better since the brunt of everything in my life has passed#but the creative energy isn't all the way there yet#so I won't rush the process of it!!! when I let it come to me I typically bang out like#3-5 fics in two weeks lol so im waiting for that feeling#but anyway!!! I love trainer character aus they're so seggsy#also I had to throw in eiji sorry what else could I have done#NOT put him in this somehow???? I don't think so#okay bye im gonna write another Drabble ive had in my drafts for a few weeks now LOL#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬#also has anyone ever actually experienced a coregasm before??? I saw it on insta and was amazed LOL#I need to start working on my core more to get one lol if im LUCKY
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
what draws you back to your country what draws you back to your land when i was a kid i told myself if i ever left iran i'd never go back 2 years into living in the UK i started looking at news on iran again 10 years in and i visited it for the first time again and today i heard an iranian mother talk in farsi to her child on the train to london the way my mother used to and i wanted to cry i wanted to ask her whether they're still cutting the mountaintops whether the lakes are still drying today i showed the person i was with pictures of waterfalls and palaces and forests and snow-white north something odd pulls me back with increasing force i can't ignore it ever again
#i just dont know how else to tell you everything !!! santoor from a different room the large family gathering the black tea with saffron#drank out of delicate glass and gold vessels cold marble on hot nights big stars big rivers big mountains#visible from busy tehran roads the ease of conversation tension eased by sarcasm tall tall cliffsides you drive by#rushing to put on headscarves before the head teacher comes in a rave by the base of damavand massive sun pastel purple skies#disjunct architecture trucks on road sides with fresh fruits pomegranates watermelons oranges everywhere#the smell of golpar on tangerines beautiful girls in tehran holding hands bautiful boys in kermanshah speaking kurdish the janky#cars on the verge of breakdown held together by love caspian sea lighting up in spring staying up into the morning on noruz#my friends uncle sang and played setar his son played the violin a little fear a lot of love remnants of something#grand carved into the cliffside everything feels bigger taller the landscape swallows you it smells like#illegally imported wine and orange blossoms and auntie's tahchin soaking your eyes in warm tea when youre sick#tomatoes and salt concrete and stone something mandmade and something raw new flag old resilience#the anger getting to us bruised eyes big grin all i know is the north i feel sorry my mother asks if id be okay#if they got a place in tajikistan we love each other enough dont we? when we look in the mirror we see each other. theres a love letter#across the border and it says I MISS YOU IM GLAD YOURE DOING BETTER itll never be the same im not okay with it at all there are no more#stars i miss jumping over big fires i miss our fireworks im sorry we cant be happy anymore everyone#leaves the mint and rosewater and sunlight for a reason.#it's not pride it's just generational regret
140 notes
·
View notes
Text
text from thirteen by @anna-scribbles
art by me :)
read thirteen read thirteen it’s everything read thirteen read thirteen read thirteen read thirteen<3 happy thirteen day. have you read thirteen yet. read it again if you have. prepare for your life to be changed if you haven’t.
#thirteen#anna#my art#ml art#miraculous ladybug fic#ml fic#adrien agreste#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste#something happened to me last night prior to last night i only had backgrounds because i was really doing everything for them#and then i was like oh fuck i need to kick my ass in gear . thirteen day is tomorrow#and then i proceeded to stay up until FIVE IN THE MORNING adding the characters details and the words#it’s been a while since ive done that. of course anna would be the cause#anyway i am so insane about thirteen. every panel color and detail of this comic holds significance not just to me but also to how i view#this fic. so if you’re wondering if a color means something or if a background detail feels out of place. that’s because im insane and#and it all DOES mean something#anyway. im in a rush i have work in an hour and a half and i have to look after my old band director’s dogs before i go
256 notes
·
View notes
Note
HI CAN I BEG FOR MORE NETSOD CONTENT ON MY HANDS AND KNEES I LOVE THEM I LOVE YOUR ART AND I BEG OF YOU KILL YESOD WITH THE BEER MAN. "I think I'm dying" was too funny. he would think he's dying the nanosecond he realizes heartrate rises not just with work anxiety, but affectionate social anxiety. valentines is going to send him to the ER watch
i was going to make a smaller post abt it. a simple shitpost. but it ended up being longer. about 9 pages or the sort in total. i tried to have it out during the literal date for it but most likely it will be out in the next hopefully at most 30 hours ... .. answering this now so you dont think im ignoring it. the actual finished result be posted in a seperate one. as you can see. dialog/planning plus four pages are done art wise already though!!



small sippets from progress plus yesod from the warmup doodles as a peace offering .. . ..
#[cent miscellaneous]#library of ruina#Netzach#Yesod#one (1) tag for navigation purposes. i wanted to be able to do it by valentines but the workflow for it ended up being longer than predicte#mostly because i ahhh brainfog. first day. technically this is the second day of actually being able to work on it. yesterday was dialog/#reread/page set up. then trying to sort out further of how i wanted to format it. i wasnt happy with it first go for dialog because im not#very good at romance? or anything really intimate or relationship wise. wanted to try and make it work though. its still going to be awkwar#though its inescapable. the awkwardness bleeds through everything i do. uhm. rip bozo or something AHHH#did i need to reread and try to make the dialog somewhat reminiscent of them. well it feels like it. did i need to make notes for something#silly. .. . .. no... . . did i? .. . . . yes... ... . .#anyways theyre fun i think. it will be real. soon. promise. ive been focusing on it primarily with the free time i have. trust#trying to make it somewhat more presentable since i already missed the intended date for it though.. not rush it. As Much.#.... the writing will still be ooc. who cares (extremely anxious) . heh. literally dont gaf. just having fun (self conscious and dying)
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
that last scene in the qaf finale was painful. we get a voiceover of michael talking about how some things should never change and the show decided that very much included brian. we then get him dancing in babylon to beat us over the head with the idea that nothing has changed at its core. but everything has in that moment. everything had changed for seasons. with everyone dancing "the way it should be" brian was the only one who didn't fit in that scene, yet there he was smack in the middle of it all
this wasn't growth, it wasn't poetic, it was a poorly written ending
#oh that episode#i had been avoiding it for over a week and had to pause several times to recalibrate#like#that was so bad and rushed and why did they strip brian of everything and revert him to his default#nothing in season 5 made sense for any of them tbh???#except ben & michael getting hunter back and brian finally saying i love you#but it's always BIG BAD BIG BAD events that lead to brian doing something and idk britin was wildly out of character this season#im glad justin went to new york im glad he's doing something other than being a trophy wife the show turned him into#but jesus#i will have more thoughts after i process whatever that was for them#we're not getting married lol no like seriously we're not AND THEN THE SCENE IS DONE ARE YOU KIDDING ME#michael being giddy and bffs with brian again after justin left feels very on brand for him lmao#okay im done rambling im just -___-#:/#i will have lots of opinions in regards to the other characters that i will post about i swear i noticed things other than brian kinney#qaf#britin#brian kinney
26 notes
·
View notes
Text


Wham bam bam! Couple of Agent stuff!! I was initially just going to post the two images but then it felt a bit empty, so I decided to doodle an interaction between Agent and Mysterion.
More process drawings under the cut for those interested!!




#uhhhh gonna type in my thoughts in the tags#just let me get the main tags out of the way#shroomer's art !#shroomer's sketches !#shroomer's archives: dao hanh#south park oc#south park original character#sp oc#south park tfbw#kenny mccormick#mysterion#forgive me i may be a bit delirious im past my bedtime by 2 and half hours#ALSO SORRY I COULDNT GET BETTER PROCESS PICTURES AJSFKSDJL this is all a collection of miscellaneous screenshots ive sent my friends#THIS. THIS WAS A BITCH TO CONCEPTUALIZE.#i think ive shown this to like 10 other people just to nail down the design and lore#definitely a product of blood sweat and tears#well the hardest part's out of the way at least phew#ack oops i made the sleeves slightly too big in the doodle#mysterion's also supposed to have his arms crossed but the poncho covered everything lol#feel free to ask me questions in the comments!! i fear that the tags wont be able to contain all of the lore i have for agent#so id be glad to answer any questions you have 🫶#but yea agent is hanh's tfbw alter ego!!#this design is set in a universe where the powers actually exist and theyre older#im planning on making a “kid” version of the costume that she'd use in the LARPing game#but yea!! she's a speedster/gadgeteer/support class!#and she takes heavy inspiration from a lot of my interests: notably jet set radio/bomb rush cyberfunk. splatoon. rollerblading. theres more#shes got a sweet ass gun that shoots healing and buffing bullets. shes also got spray cans that she can use as a smoke screen or as a bomb!#idk how much i should ramble about this lshjls part of me kind of wants to leave this all for when i actually finish the character sheet#she also has a gas mask but i havent had the time to design that one yet#ok thats all for the tags!! i wanted to add more but apparently this limit and when i keep adding more it keeps getting deleted sjldkj gn!!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Marisa Coulter + Stelmaria Bonus:
#marisa coulter#stelmaria#his dark materials#hdm#hdm edit#marisa x stelmaria#so many lost opportunities here not making them interact at all imo#s1 did it better#s3 is only about making entrances and exits lol#their daemons are mostly just background props#so many things couldve been said without saying anything at all by using them in other ways#most of the time they're not even in the scene while I feel they shouldve been#anyways i wanted to make a set with marisa an stelmaria in the same frame#which was like a needle in a haystack in itself#I'm very interested in what their dynamic would be like#this show would have been better with 12 eps instead of 8 per season everything felt rushed#my edit#mine#gifs look ugly but okay#dont know why im ranting about this 5 years after the show ended 😂
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Btw things will work out in the end and you don't have to address them all at once and on this exact moment. Sometimes things have to simmer a little bit
#this is a post for me too#i am an anxious individual 👍 and i have a weird time socializing 👍#this combo makes me wanna like. know everything everyones talking about and thinking about and feeling about Right. Now.#including myself#but some things gotta simmer... and im learning this now#i think im rushing a lot of stuff around me bc i dont like feeling uncertainty#bro uncertainty is beautiful uncertainty is the seed for certainty. ome day i will know and if i dont it doesnt matter#im feeling so light. therapy did ne womders#ive been going for like 4 months now and woooww great stuff truly great stuff#i feel a lot more put together and organized inside my head#its easier to avoid spiraling its easier to choose the healthy path its easier to breathe and to look around and Exist#things got easier#yaayy#talk
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
collection of me trying to figure out how to draw this guy
#im going to drink him#hi-fi rush#hfr chai#'why does your style look different in all of them lol' i am currently not taking questions.#mister chai fi rush my everything this is the greatest birthday gift i have given myself#the past week has been 'do i feel like drawing him or do i feel like going back to the game and unlocking his costumes'#i am struggling to articulate what this game has done to me oh my fuck?#the thing of 'im addicted to a characters voice and i am combing through the VA's entire filmography' is happening again#(stares long and hard in the mirror) chai fi rush is gonna make me play persona 5 for gods sake#why is this game like 10 hours long i need it in my circulatory system
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry for being inconsistent gang
#at first it was cause of the holiday work rush#but now one i feel like i have no ideas#two right now im focusing on launching a channel and video editting takes forever#especially since for the most recent one i forgot to record the audio so i had to go back and manually add it in#anyway as much as i like this blog i feel like everything i draw is mostly the same so i havent been motivated to do anything#not a volo
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Accidentally clicking QUIT instead on CONTINUE after finally reaching the top of Death Mountain in OOT

Remembering that there's the secret path back to Goron city through the Lost Woods

#sooooo...i kinda got wrapped into playing Ocarina for the first time#didn't think id enjoy it as much as I have#found out (truly a grand surprise ((sorry im putting sarcasm definer in the parenthesises..)) I like side quests#and when i say like em#I mean what's main game plot- i will literally COLLECT EVERYTHING given the oppurtunity before halfway point#im like...nearly to 30 gold sklltullas#and uhm..i like...i like learning the enviroments and RUSHING to get places before it gets too dark#oh boy i just thought i'd play it a little bit yesterday#got “in bed” around 9:30 and picked it up to play- it was 1 something in the morning before i stopped#then was like OH SHIT ive got work!#but theres such a joy and excitement of just scouring through everything out here#i dont know why- but i suppose the reputation of zelda games just made me feel like id have to slog through things?#or just like...take things really seriously and...i dunno...its this grand ONCE in a lifetime thing#maybe thats just the image ive gotten from passing youtube videos#the only other Zelda game I've finished before-played YEARs ago was Spirit Tracks and I very much enjoyed it#maybe because Zelda was actually part of it that time haaah#well ive run my mouth long enough im gonna go run back to the mountains
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
No actually all of you need to sit your asses down bc I just watched the legacy shorts and. HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD ANYONE SAY ANYTHING ABT THEM OTHER THAN GOLDEN HOUR AND SWEATING TO THE GOLDIES???? HOW HAS NO INE SAID A SINGLE THING ABOUT THE GOLDEN LEGEND SHORT?? OR THE ANIMATION STYLE OF GOLD RUSH???? I could have gone my whole life without watching those do you understand that. Why are we, as a fandom, not taking about these more, or like, AT ALL. we should be insane about this. We should be insane about this, right??? RIGHT??????
#ninjago#ninjago shorts#ninjago legacy shorts#ninjago golden legend#golden legend#legacy shorts#ninjago gold rush#*heartbroken gf voice* ninjago fandom... i feel like i dont even know u anymore.... u never tell me anything.... whats wrong babe...#i know it aired durinh seabound (i think?) but come ON guys its been so long why is no one capitalizing on this#windows into everything Ninjago could have been but wasnt. im literally a changed man now do u get it im never gonna be normal again#how am i supposed to just sleep after this#seriously though why did they go so hard. genuinely. why would they do this to me#why would they create something so good that im devastated by its impossibility of ever coming to fruition
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh my god no way, no way is he dead no
it's such a devastating loss... genuinely feel so heartbroken today
#easks#like im just. their poor family...#they were getitng together to do something so wonderful and celebrate love#adn this. constant frantic car centric nonsense results in this shit#i know everyone is making it abt drunk driving and thats horrific too dont ge tme wrong but it just feels like#everyone is experiencing road rage every day abt every thing whether ur drunk or not..#everything is getting more chaotic. everyones in a rush.#this world feels untenable and hostile to human life in so many ways#upsetting
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reposting here, but are people afraid to be descriptive in smut? I've been reading smut that could've been so good but it felt like it was... missing something.
#ooc ; out of heaven#like i liked the idea and everything but come on sometimes it feels rushed or just action.#tbd.#im talking about ao3 fics btw#I WAS JUST CURIOUS THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO THIS 😩😭
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
13 notes
·
View notes