graceful-not

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if i wanna get into drawtectives how lost will i be if i start at season 3 instead of the beginning?

[graceful-not]

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

[graceful-not]

“Aw man! This pie doesn’t taste at all like what grandma use to make! I’m must be a terrible baker:(“

Maybe! Or maybe one of many things might be different from the recipe you’ve been trying to follow

Baking is largely both a science, and bullshit. Anything from the altitude you’re at, or the mosture in the air, or the way you’re measuring ingredients (ie weight vs volume) can effect how your final result of what you’re making will come out. A few examples just in my grandmother’s Apple Pie recipe are

Her recipe calls for Crisco in the crust, but Crisco changed their formula in 2007, effecting the taste and texture of the crusts made, so adjustments have to be made to account for that

The Apple tree in her backyard is gone, and no apples sold commonly in stores are similar to whatever random variety she had, and there are over 7,500 known varieties of apples

Not all flour that you buy from the store is the same, and I’m not just even talking about like. Cake flour vs wheat flour. Even in the US the kind of regular baking flour differs depending on where you live, and where it’s sourced from

So will I ever make that Apple pie I remember fondly from my childhood? Probably not! Just gotta figure out my own thing that works.

I dunno why I made this post at 6am. Just shit to keep in mind next time you’re struggling with an older recipe I guess!

[graceful-not]

one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

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Drew the goober

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obsessed w/ this stock photo of a gambler placing their wedding ring on top of a bunch of casino chips

i’m just…i’m trying to imagine a scenario where a casino would ever conceivably accept RANDOM JEWELRY as valid currency, they don’t even let you place cash on the tables

[graceful-not]

It's actually funny how humans decided "fuck living in caves with all these creepy crawlies", got out of caves, built houses that have all the nice parts of a cave without any of the yucky parts, and then all the little bugs and spiders and other creepy crawly creatures that used to also live in caves thought "sweet, new and improved caves" and moved right back in with us.

[graceful-not]

I know people be hating on this fit, BUT THE RACER VIBES???? Listen.

[graceful-not]

The three stages of cis allyship:

I understand that you are a girl*

I understand that you are a girl

I understand that you are a girl*

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[graceful-not]

highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

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“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo

[graceful-not]

This guy in my town owns a rug store, and he’s always changing his sign out front but he’s also the biggest Dad in the world so his jokes are awful but brilliant

[graceful-not]

They're always eating everything

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lost in soulless city

Hello 👋, My name is Momen Al Madhoun / I am a digital artist /a father of two children " Ezzdeen & Amir " I live in Gaza City in the heart of the Genocide, working tirelessly to amplify my voice to the world through my artwork.

I want to say thank you a lot. Your donations helped me improve our displacement conditions. But my family still needs your contributions to keep going We rely on you, you are our hope for survival.

🌟 Our campaign is vetted by 🇵🇸 @/gazavetters List at #291

Gofundme Campaign Link

[graceful-not]

im in actual disbelief that this just happened while i was writing down this joke to remember later