#i feel so fucked rn
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#i feel so fucked rn#like i just feel so alone#like whole heartedly alone#i actually feel more alone than b4 this sucks ass#ik hes not reading these so i can say whatever the hell i want#mainly that fig is a fucking asshole#and dear god i know im not important in this house but holy hell its never felt so blatant b4#like damn thats sure a way 2 make me feel fucking hated by someone i consider a friend#and i cant even feel comfortable around my god??? fuck you#like fuck your world and your hobbies all it ended up in was pain anyway#like yea real nice of u 2 just start fucking saying shit- especially shit YOU werent even apart of#WITHOUT ANY DAMN EXPLANATION??? like fuck me thanks for making me have 2 feel like i must plead my case 2 the court 2 not lose a friendship#while you say SO much about everyone ive ever loved or cared about- and say nothing about how youve hurt me- or they have or anyone has-#you werent apart of *most* of this if not any of some of it- like- the fuck is wrong with you??? that was my business and people you never#even fucking met you dickwad- you really just threw me under the bus entirely and for what?#well- ig for a new partner#god isnt it great having exe's who will gladly hurt me 2 high hell and talk about how horrible i am#truly i shouldnt let dominic anywhere near me the guys great and i do not want him 2 get worse as well#i know life's better without me and i wish i wasn't front stuck- the kids mean the damn world to me though and i wanna get better
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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#bpd#actually bpd#bpd vent#borderline personality disorder#living with borderline#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#aesthetic#bpd mood#mental illness#silly goofy mood#i wanna relapse so bad#bad person#i'm sad#not ok rn#im so upset#mentally fucked#borderline personality problems#actually mentally ill#borderline thoughts
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old school utau wives
#my art#vocaloid#hatsune miku#miku#gumi#megpoid gumi#I MIGHT DO RIN & LEN AND MAYBE TETO IDK#SO MANY PLANS#but rn I feel the looming persona 3 hyperfixation returning fuck#there is so much I wanna draw haha
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practicing self care (projecting my stims on my blorbos)
greyscale vers below the cut!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#writing these tags like. an hour before posting. it’s 1 am rn#i do that little kieran pokemon hip tap sometimes so bonnie gets to do it too#they’re a kid!! they have a lot of energy!!!!!#i realize these are the first proper drawings of isa and mira ive posted here#i’ve drawn them before but they’re from like. May. and i’ve improved since then#so i don’t. really feel like posting those#idk. maybe one day i’ll say fuck it and drop that doodle page
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"in my arms lies eternity"
you too, dear reader, can make veilguard into an elgarook enemies to lovers story if you think hard enough 😌
#(based on the kiss by gustav klimt ofc)#my art#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#elgarook#elgar'nan#rook#faolan de riva#this is my first ship art literally EVER so i'm feeling shy but im literally on fucking tumblr rn so idk why i care#anyway this started as a corruption au months ago... but after the game i've fixated so hard on this that i'm not sure it's an au anymore#what can i say- i love a good corruption arc. and doomed gays. and i also love elves. especially evil ones
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twelfth night main plot: haha bisexual love triangle that is gay in both directions! haha mistaken identity and gender fuckery haha
malvolio side plot:
#twelfth night#ws#i did not feel this strongly abt him before but now that ive listened to dt malvolio.#And esp how he plays him in 4.2#ajnd it's like guys. guys! i need to turn into a fish and swim to sea and never return#NUMBER ONE MALVOLIO APOLOGIST#I AM SORRY. SORRYYYYYYY#WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO THAT TO HIM ALL HE DID WAS BE A LOSER AND A KILLJOY#AND MAYBE HE RUINED FABIAN'S RELATIONSHIP AND THREW THE CAPTAIN IN JAIL AT SOME POINT IDK#WHY DO THE RICH FUCKS GET SO MUCH PLEASURE PUTTING THIS MAN IN THE SAW TRAP CAN THEYYYYY BE PUT IN THE SAW TRAP#JUST TO SEE HOW IT FEELS#IS IT HIS FAULT HE LIKES IMAGINING THAT PEOPLE LIKE HIM IM SO HEARTBROKEN MAN#pain and suffering and darkness#ik there is some meta someone has written sometime someplace abt him being neurodivergent but im not going to go digging for it rn
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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my brain latched onto ratio in the span a day or two and i am. struggling with that. have a hsr magma dump about it.
these are in reverse chronological order so that it looks like i get more normal as the post goes on (it doesnt)
#i like these a lot im happy w how they turned out art has been fun lately n im trying to hold onto that feeling n keep it alive#bro my brain wont let me finish the fkn. piece i have that i wanted to get done n post n ive been meaningto revisit my pinned post n redo i#but im stuck in my b#fuck mobile tagging sucks ass fuck this omg#but im stuck in my head w my interests rn n theyre beating my ass im losing so bad damn interests got hands#i jsut remembered i was gonna give these some other bg colors than the usual gray we use for the magma canvases..... orz#honkai star rail#dr ratio#aventurine#problem w me is i neevr remember how i tag things n characters#so i have to check#n apperantly i do tag hsr w hsr in the beginning#hsr dr ratio#hsr aventurine#ratiorine#hsr blade#hsr firefly#hsr luka#welcome to my brain n my ...i forgor yhe word hold up. my .i my my idk process i feel like im losingit#my art#magma#i like the pjs one a lot a lot a lot. .... makes me unwell i need them cozy n happy help me#fuck theu got more shipnames#aventio#hsr golden ratio#theyve been gnawing away at my brain im doing. great
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lol arthur realizes with the other knights after watching merlin flirt and being hit with a wave of deja vu: holy shit you asked me out
merlin and the rest of the knights around a campfire after leaving a village bc lancelot and leon somehow started a brawl in the tavern: ???
arthur points at merlin: after valiant! you asked me to buy you a drink! you were asking me out!
merlin is busy cooking dinner and confused out of his fucking mind: what???…..valiant….oh the knight with the snakes.
gwaine who was slightly tipsy now stone cold sober and sitting up straight against a tree: wait. explain. what do you mean merlin asked you out??
arthur snaps his fingers as he recalls the memory: i apologized for sacking you and you said that if i bought you a drink we’d be even.
merlin now remembering how he had stumbled into camelot, picked a fight with a pigheaded bully which quickly turned homoerotic and flirtatious, and continued their teasing-flirting for days before merlin shot his shot and asked the prince out only to be rejected: oh yeah, i forgot i did that…..wait, you mean you didnt realize what i was asking?
arthur: no?? we argued everyday, how was i supposed to realize you were asking me out??
merlin now abandoning the dinner and staring across the camp at arthur while the rest of the knights watch their back and forth like a game of tennis: to you we were arguing, to me that was very much flirting. i thought you were flirting back so i decided to ask you. then you rejected me
arthur, mentally beating his past self up for fucking up their chance: i didn’t reject you!!! i just didn’t realize what you were asking me. how was i meant to? we fought every chance we got
leon, nudging elyan, glee and excitement riling through him: its happening!!! its finally happening!!! seven long, grueling years is finally paying off!!!
merlin, realizing the misunderstanding and acknowledging the fact that he wasn’t rejected, his flirtations just weren’t noticed - realizing he still has a chance: oh…oh i see. arthur, my dear, our fights were extremely flirtatious. need i remind you of what you said? “do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to teach you?” or “i could take you apart with one blow”
arthur, mental capabilities at an all time low: m…my dear….?????????
merlin grinning devilishly as he realizes that his flirtatious persona he had hidden away after falling head over heels for arthur can make a come back: that is what i called you. should i call you something else? say…mine?
percival gags in elyan’s ear: cheesy
elyan hides a laugh: at least they’re finally getting somewhere. better than the hopeless pining
arthur, flushed from head to toe: ah uh no um im uh
merlin thoroughly enjoying himself: oh come now, your majesty. use your words.
#meanwhile leon is praying his thanks to every god and goddess above for their mercy#his pain and suffering is so over#merlin is going IN on arthur who is red as fuck#gwaine is enjoying himself immensely#lancelot pulls out popcorn to watch the two idiots finally get their acts together#flirty merlin x flustered arthur#i think yes#listen. merlin lived in ealdor. a small village of maybe thirty people - four or five being his own age#he was thrilled to be in camelot and have new faces and people to meet#he was definitely the village tease or flirt or whatever#he was gonna be a rake in camelot but unfortunately managed to fall hopelessly in love with the prince of camelot#he burned his dreams of being a rake in exchange for arthur#the issue? arthur rejected his advances. next issue? merlin’s feelings remained and grew#so merlin is a lovesick puppy for a prince who doesnt feel the same and he cant find it in himself to look at anyone else bar a few cases#he and lancelot def slept together at least once. him and gwaine tumbled into bed a few times together#but his heart always belonged to arthur he just never imagined hed get a chance to let his affection be known#now that he knows arthur never knew of his intentions in the first place and was quick to deny he rejected him#merlin is more than happy to let that part of his personality come back and terrorize arthur is a way he hadnt been able to before#hes living his best life rn#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#knights of the round table#fanfiction ideas#prompts#headcanon
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a conversation on the coast (original fanfic + inspiration)
#disco elysium#de fanart#fanart#de#cunoesse#de cunoesse#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium fanart#pt 1 of 2#this fic has been living rent-free in my head since i first read it. trying my best to do this scene justice but its been hard!#feeling my limitations rn grrrrrrr.#my art#FUCK i drew her in the wrong fucking outfit gdi#AUUUGH so many MISTAKES….. BUT NONETHELESS I PERSIST. IN THE NAME OF FIC APPRECIATION.#anyway im gonna try to stop obsessing over this now. mr/ms/mx enstar if u see this im so normal abt yr fic. ❤️
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[ID: SVSSS fanart of Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. It's the scene from volume 1 where Liu Qingge is having a qi deviation. He's on the floor, face and clothes splattered with blood. Shen Qingqiu has a hand on his shoulder, and smiles as he says, "You're too hot- I mean too young to die. We should be friends now." Liu Qingge scowls at him, angry and confused, thinking "wtf" repeatedly and with question marks floating around his head. /end ID]
this is basically what happened i think
#really funny how this is like. the lqg introduction scene. can you even imagine what hes feeling rn#anyway this is kind of a study of the original drawing idk#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#shen qingqiu#liu qingge#nik art#misc#the specific part im making a joke of is when sqq says “a beauty fading-- ahem‚ dying so young” like shut the fuck up loser jdhjdskk#liushen#<- I GUESS
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I know his fanboy ass was giggling and kicking his feet, knowing he touched the REAL All Might with his hands.
#im so fucking jealous#legit mad rn#IMAGINE HOW FLUFFY THAT HAIR IS#MUST FEEL AMAZING HUH#DO U NOT AGREE STAIN#i know he was probably also sad he wore glowes but#happy nevertheless bc he touched the man#i wholeheartedly believe he rivals if not exceeds izuku w the fanboy shit#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#toshinori yagi#akaguro chizome#all might#stain mha#stainmight
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reading chainsaw man and trying to piece together theories makes me feel like an insane person. like no yeah totally pochita is actually the birth devil and reze is coming back and aki isn't actually dead and its all because of this one slight detail in the background and its all going to culminate in one big story about trauma. meanwhile no one has fucking mouths in the manga right now
#drea rambles#btw i still do believe all this minus the aki and reze thing#but sometimes i feel like i have to take a step back#and be like yeah no one has fucking mouths rn lemme take a breather#i hope fujimoto does the hear no evil speak no evil hear no evil thing ppl have been talking about#would be cool#blank panels with speech bubbles so you only have a vague idea of the battle#oh yeah#also i hope asa doesnt die LMAO#chainsaw man#csm spoilers#chainsaw man spoilers#csm manga#csm part 2#csm#csm 175
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🎭 VTM OC ASK GAME🩸
Hello I’ve decided to make a VTM OC ask game! Feel free to reblog and put your OCs name in the tags hehe
1. What clan is your OC?
2. What faction is your OC? Do they conform to a group or are they independent?
3. Are they more “traditional” or do they break barriers?
4. What generation are they?
5. Who is their sire?
6. What was their relationship to their sire? Were they close in any way or mere strangers?
7. How did their sire treat them?
8. Was their sire with them after their embrace?
9. Do they have a childer?
10. What is their relationship to that childe if they do have one?
11. When was their embrace?
12. What happened that lead up to their embrace?
13. Was their embrace painful? (Either emotionally or physically)
14. How did they initially feel after being embraced? Did they like being reborn into something knew or did it take them a while to cope with their new reality?
15. Are they presumed to be dead or are they still acting as though they are alive to the general public?
16. How good are they at acting “alive”?
17. What are their thoughts on the Camarilla?
18. What are their thoughts on thinbloods?
19. What are their thoughts on the Sabbat?
20. What are their thoughts on the Anarchs?
21. What is their predator type?
22. What are their thoughts on other predator types?
23. How often do they kill those they drain blood of?
24. Do they easily dispose of bodies?
25. How often do they cause a masquerade breach?
26. Do they want to become human again or are they fine as a kindred?
27. Do they have a clan they don’t particularly like?
28. Where do they live now as a kindred?
29. Do they frequently change locations or do they have a fixed location where they live?
30. Do they have a clan that they do particularly like?
31. Do they have a ghoul?
32. Do they like their ghoul if they do have one?
33. Would they like to have a ghoul if they don’t have one?
34. What are their thoughts on blood dolls?
35. How old is your OC up until their death?
36. How old are they now, continuing through their embrace?
37. What age are they? (Childer, Neonate, Ancilla, etc.)
38. Do they care about the taste of blood?
39. Could they easily decipher what a Malkavian is saying?
40. Would they ever commit diablerie if given the chance?
41. Would your OC switch their clan if given the chance? Why or why not?
42. Suppose they weren’t embraced by their clan, which other clan would they thrive in?
43. What are their best attributes?
44. What are their best skills?
45. What are their disciplines?
46. What are their ambition(s) if any?
47. What are their desire(s) if any?
48. Detail things about your OC you spent a lot of time on!
49. Detail your OC’s backstory!
50. Wild card! Sender asks a specific question in regards to your OC
I hope you guys have fun :3
cr; divider by @.anitalenia / divider by @.cold--carnage
tagging some of my mutuals who might be interested (u guys are now gonna get bothered by me no take backs) (unless you ask to stop which i will dont worry dont worry im just being silly): @thewhumpcaretaker @babayagaiscomingforya @informaltorching @casperatu @styxnbones @porcelainseashore @childofmalkavians @knownsome @findingtarshish
#so so sorry if i leave something out :(((#see im new to vtm and like#im just really fucking insane over vtm rn#i just had my first session and i am FERAL#i am brimming with life it feels like i just drank my first sip of blood as a newly made kindred#vampire the masquerade#vtm#world of darkness#vtm oc#vtm ocs#vampire the masquerade bloodlines#vtmb#vtm bloodlines#oc ask game#ask game#vampire#vampire ask game
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finally...
#garashir#we fucking win!!!#god im so happy for them lmao#they FINALLY got their kiss FUCK#literally thank god#words cant express how im feeling rn. but its great akdsndks#i wanna color this later!!! happy fucking garashir days boys im celebrating every fucking year#julian bashir#elim garak#star trek ds9#star trek fanart#ds9 fanart#star trek#star trek lower decks
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