#i want what life could be

[publicuniversalenemy]

conundrum. im trying to be more Real (less chronically dissociated n shit) (well really its mostly depersonalization and derealization that i deal with but those are less familiar words to most) but i dont want real. im sick of it. why should i be a person. i dont want that. fucj that. i want fantasy. i want fun. i want evenings to feel endless and almost overwhelmingly full of possibilities instead of just The Time When I Go To Bed. i wanna be a kid. for real this time. i want the world to be mysterious and thrilling to me. i wanna feel shit deeply. man, im done with this shit. i have all my little ducks in a row and i feel like shit. im doing the normal thing. ive DONE the normal thing. and i dont like it. its dull. i do believe, even deeper down, that the only real ‘purpose’ to life is to help others. to do good and make the world a less shitty place to be trapped in. but god it really is a trap, isnt it. like im not suicidal anymore, havent been for years. but im just so painfully bored of the colors of life. i dont think what i want exists. and if it does, i dont think im allowed to have it.

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[eydilily]

red flags!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

How much longer 'til your luck runs out?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sadagios]

double victory, was it? (it doesn't feel like one)

i saw a post about 3L!Grian meeting SL!Scar, but since SL!scar never died i figured he can't see any of the winners nor join them before the next session, and they appear before him as shadows. also, i thought 3L!Grian would be really happy to see a scenario where scar didnt die by his hand and actually won.

❀ bonus sketch ☘

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[aalghul]

once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.

and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots

[uhcasual]

"This place is called the Burial Mounds. The hatred is intense, isn't it? And the resentment too? When a living person enters this place, there's no coming back-- for the body or the soul. They can forget about ever escaping. Wei Wuxian, you, too, can forget about ever escaping."

(full resolution here)

[mysticruinedme]

I like the idea of Sonic being just as heroic as he is selfish - cuz the core motivation for half of what he does when in regards to Eggman and the world or whatever is going on at the time is cuz he himself enjoys those adventures, and not because he feels some sort of selfless obligation over his natural abilities to do anything that he does.

[hey-heigo]

happy pride month

[crabsnpersimmons]

i'd love to celebrate my birthday with y'all! no pressure to say or do anything, just wanted to share and "invite" you all 🥰

[coffeebanana]

okay but what if. video game designer marinette...

[justaz]

merlin falling to his knees after sending arthur out onto the lake and then just. staying there. he was planning on staying until his body gave out from dehydration but he just...never died. he kept waking up to the same sight of the lake, the day around him a bit different. yet he never moved. he remained on the shore of that lake as nature began to claim him, growing over his body as if he were just a stone on the ground. merlin never moves. he is arthur's servant. he'd follow arthur everywhere. if he couldn't...well then, he'll wait right outside. he'll wait right here. he'll wait for arthur.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[adashulaz]

One thing I've noticed about Piltover, not only do they not take disabled people into consideration(i.e. Salo and Viktor), they don't even think about their non-human residents. Steb being the number person to use as my evidence.

Stebs uniform when we first meet him is the typical enforcer uniform. The only difference is you can clearly see that Steb wasn't given a uniform that took his biology into consideration. The collar of the uniform goes up to the fin that's on the back of head/neck, and for fishes fins can be used to feel around them so I doubt having something rubbing up against the end of it all day is comfortable. Not only that but we know that his ears can move and are seen facing more outwards and away from his head, his hat wouldn't allow that and would make it very uncomfortable. The straps of his hat also cover the gils on his jaw and that as well would be uncomfortable, they're silts in his skin that would most likely allow him to breathe underwater so having fabric rub against it would be uncomfortable.

In conclusion, his uniform wasn't made with him in mind. His uniform would be fine for the typical human, the collar might be annoying but not uncomfortable for some. The hat wouldn't cause discomfort as well, it would be like wearing a typical hat or even just like a helmet. But that's for a human, Steb clearly isn't human. He's more fish-esque than human, his biology is different meaning his needs are different. His uniform doesn't fit those needs.

His uniform for Caitlyns striketeam is better suited for his needs(at least some of them). The collar goes out more, it's not rubbing up against his fin. His hat is much different, it's no longer covering his ears and it doesn't have straps that covers his gils.

Obviously Caitlyn had a say on the uniforms because they're part of her striketeam but she also took in Stebs needs and how his old uniform wasn't made with him in mind. So she made the suitable changes, even if they don't seem important, for Steb it most likely made his uniform more comfortable.

His uniform in act3, while it seems different than the others around him based on the fact that it doesn't have a belt and his arm things are black with minimal gold outlines, it still seems like the typical enforcer uniform based on the color scheme. Not only that but it looks similar to his uniform when he was on Caitlyns striketeam.

His collar still pokes out and away from his fin. His hat doesn't cover his ears and it doesn't have a strap that covers his gils.

This uniform takes in his biology, probably more than the two previous ones he wore based on the fact that it looks much more different. Graysons uniform and Marcus' uniform never looked like the one Steb wears in act3 and both of them were of a higher rank than Steb. So it's safe to assume that this new uniform that Steb wears is better sited for his needs.

Basically before all of this, Piltover never took in their non-human residents into consideration when doing things despite having Heimerdinger(a non-human) as a councilor and founder. Steb is a prime example of that, he shows this fact with the different uniforms he wears when on screen.