#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

I read your headcanons about James Potter and I’m really interested to hear your thoughts Sirius and regulus Black pls pls pls

Oh no.

Alright, strap in people, because I’m about to say some things that nobody will like.

Let’s start in alphabetical order with Regulus. 

Fandom often sees Regulus as a reformed Death Eater, the redeemed villain, or else a cooler suaver version of Sirius steeped in pure blood culture, making him more palatable than many pureblood characters as a love interest. There’s a lot of fics of him having almost defeated Voldemort, coming back from the dead and actually defeating Voldemort, reconnecting with Sirius, showing Harry the cool pureblood ways without being racist, etc.

Well, I don’t really buy into any of that.

I think, even with his defection, Regulus was likely still a very racist character and never really disavowed the cause. True, he was young when he was sucked in, he had his whole family meltdown when Sirius was disowned and suddenly he was heir, but I do think he really did believe in blood purism and nothing from the books suggests that he died not believing in it. He just stopped believing in Voldemort.

Instead, I believe he discovered that Voldemort a) did not mean anything good for his culture and b) Voldemort was a fraud.

What do I mean by that?

Well, in the first case, I’ve always viewed Tom Riddle in that period in time as a hate filled nihilist who doesn’t really believe in what he preaches. It’s just convenient to him as the purebloods are the ones with the money and the power. There’s no point in him appealing to Dumbledore’s ilk as they’re far less likely to be able to make him king (also it would mean putting up with Dumbledore and his stupid speeches about love and friendship). Most of Voldemort’s actions throughout the books don’t make the muggle borns’ lives miserable (at least not until he gets into power) but makes hell of the purebloods’ lives and absolutely ruins them. 

The Black family, in particular, he essentially wipes off the face of the Earth. 

With that in mind, I imagine a young Regulus eventually came to realize that Voldemort was systematically destroying the great families from the inside to put himself in power. It was never about the muggleborns or the country, it was only ever about power.

Then we get to the other bit, Voldemort being a fraud. Unlike many, I believe the Death Eaters had no idea who Voldemort was. It’s too unbelievable to me that some guy named Tom Riddle, who their fathers all went to school with, who everyone knew as a muggle born impoverished orphan, could convince them all that he was the next Merlin who they should devote their lives (and their money) to. Tom’s charismatic, but he’s not that charismatic. Better for Tom Riddle to just disappear entirely and show up as the Count of Monte Cristo, descendent of Salazar Slytherin himself, impressing all the young heirs while their young, angry, and stupid. 

With Regulus finding out that his great leader is actually just the halfblood son of a squib, the whole movement falls apart. Regulus is a pawn, fighting for nothing he believes in. Now, that said, I don’t think Regulus ever figured out who exactly, Tom was. He clearly knew the name, as we see from the locket, but just knowing that Riddle is a muggle last name would be enough to know that Voldemort was nothing he presented as.

Basically, Regulus becomes extremely disillusioned with the Death Eaters and Voldemort in a few short years. The change he wanted to see sweeping the country doesn’t happen. Instead the violence, which he was initially very excited for (guys, Regulus did join a domestic terrorist organization and I will not cut him slack for that, he was excited to blow up some muggle borns) is pointless and hurting their own people as opposed to the muggle borns. 

During all of this we have Kreacher borrowed by Voldemort for the creepy horcrux placement. This certainly makes Regulus go “hm” and he’s clever enough to put together on his own that the locket must be a horcrux.

That said, I do not believe he knew enough about Tom Riddle to have been able to hunt down the rest or even know where or what they would be. Dumbledore had been paranoidly collecting memories of Tom Riddle’s entire goddamn life and relying on the plot convenient aspect that Tom was apparently so much of a romantic he never left his horcruxes anywhere but Britain and always left them in very noticeable sentimental objects. Regulus knew about the locket because of Kreacher, had he lived, he’d have no idea where the hell else to start.

So that’s Regulus for you, a fairly intelligent, yet youthfully stupid, extremist whose dream did not live up to the reality and probably still would have spat in Hermione’s face had the gang resurrected him from being a lake zombie.

As for Sirius, well, he’s James the asshole times a thousand to the point where he makes some “ha ha, very funny, but actually really this is horrifying” decisions. 

I guess we’ll start back when he’s young.

We don’t see much of the young Sirius, and granted, what we do directly is given to us by a very bitter, resentful, and biased Severus Snape but his actions still read a lot like pretty much any Stephen King bully villain. The scene where they’re tormenting Snape (and Snape drops the slur, Lily abandoning him) is horrifying to read. And it’s clearly one of many moments over many years of this group of boys sexually harassing him (and yes, that was sexual harassment guys, let’s not pull out stops here).

Then we get to the joke with Lupin that... really wasn’t a joke.

The flimsy excuse we’re given in canon is that a) it was all in good fun b) Snape was so much of a coward he’d never actually go to the Shrieking Shack because he’s a big chicken. Bawk bawk bawk, Snivellus the chicken. But, well, these excuses are flimsy. 

When you get down to the bare bones of it what Sirius did there was attempted murder via his chronically ill best friend. It’s one of those actions that I simply cannot justify, even had Sirius not thought it all the way through, as boys will be boys. What was the good outcome there? Snape sees Lupin and shrieks in terror? (Only to probably run to some authority and try to get the uncontrolled werewolf the fuck off of campus, nice going Sirius) Snape gets infected with lycanthropy? Snape dies, Lupin wakes up covered in blood with the horror of knowing he ate a classmate? 

Later, we do get Sirius sort of apologizing for his behavior. But it’s at best a ‘sort of’ apology. He never admits the full horror of what he did, just how relentlessly brutal he was to Snape, or what the werewolf thing really would have ended in. Instead he goes, “yeah, James and I were kind of assholes. He grew up though, Lily married him so he couldn’t be an ass anymore! And it was Snape, Come on, Harry, it was Snape.” And Harry, messed up asshole that he himself is goes, “Yeah, it was Snape! Stupid Snape!”

I also never got the feeling he ever fully apologized to Remus. Sirius used Remus in the worst of ways, made it clear he had no respect for Remus and no compassion for his condition, and continues to treat him as a sort of secondary friend to James. I think it says a lot that Remus was able and willing to believe Sirius was guilty of murdering James and Lily in cold blood. 

Which probably gives you a hint that I think Remus/Sirius would never happen except in the most toxic of ways possible.

Basically, in a fair world, Sirius should have been expelled if not tried for the werewolf incident. However, Dumbledore plays favorites and chose the sons of two lords as opposed to the poor half blood (which I imagine cemented Snape’s path to becoming a Death Eater). And so there is some cruel irony in that Sirius was eventually jailed for something, even though it was something he didn’t do.

Now, after Azkaban, Sirius seems to have mellowed out a lot. While he’s a bit unhinged and thoughtless (his rescue attempt of Harry’s rescue attempt at the end of Order of the Phoenix) a lot of this can be seen as after effects of his stay in literally hell on Earth for over ten years. 

That said, a lot of people see him as the cool uncle character who, if Harry had been able to live with him, all would have been well. I firmly disagree. Young Sirius was, well, god knows how warped Harry would have been growing up with a young and reckless Sirius Black. After prison he’s in no condition to take care of Harry, and even says as much multiple times. Sirius is cool to hang around at a distance, but up close and personal he’d be very messed up and not at all ready to be a father to a teenage boy. 

Otherwise, Sirius was very very very gay for James Potter. Unfortunately for him, James Potter was straight and into Lily Evans. I’m sure it was a very sad day for Sirius when Lily actually said yes to James. Except not really, because James always strikes me as a “bros before hos” kind of dude. Not that I’m sure if Sirius ever admitted he was gay and in love with James, I’ve always been of the belief that pureblood culture is extremely homophobic and it just... wouldn’t come up. 

So there it is, now excuse me while I go hide behind this barrier before I get eaten alive.

[walker-journal]

At Hell’s Gates (Bea, Adam, Luce- POTW)

Participants: Beatrice Vural (Spellcaster- Fiona), Lucinda Vural (Spellcaster-Cal), Adam Walker (Hunter- Tapir)

Summary: Adam brings Nell’s skin talisman to the Vural house to plan a rescue operation into a Hell Dimension with Luce and Bea as time runs out. 

Content Warning: Allusion to sibling death in the Bea resurrection plot

In a way Adam appreciated the breakneck speed of preparations, the staggering level of planning needed to even attempt this almost impossible task. Every second fussing over environment resist gear, talking to Naomi about atmospheric poisons, and running over possible dimensional scenarios with mom was one where he wasn’t thinking about Nell being tortured in hell. Eventually he just had to drug himself to sleep, as he’d be no use on the mission already exhausted. 

Adam caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the windows of the Vural home. He looked like someone about to venture into a radiative wasteland or wade through mustard gas, heavy boots, sealed armor, and a gas mask hanging from his belt. In truth, even with all this equipment he was pathetically underprepared for what was coming. 

But as always, Adam put on a face of stony resolution. He’d mastered the unphased action hero act a long time ago, even if his reflection had a numb thousand-yard stare that didn’t quite fit. 

“So what’s the magic plan?” 

The bracelet around Luce’s wrist had pinged the second Adam had crossed the boundary line, the magic a reminder of the sister she had lost. Nell had been the one who’d insisted upon the bracelets, something simple and small that they could always keep on them. She’d been so different back then. Younger. Unburdened by the weight that this town placed on its inhabitants. Luce let out a sigh and made her way to the front door, letting Adam inside. He looked like he was going to be rolling up into Chernobyl and, for all any of them knew, he would be. They didn’t know what was on the other side of those portals. And as much as Luce wanted to rush into the first rift she saw, she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t leave Bea here, alone, to worry and to curse her name. 

Cupping a glass of water in her hands, Luce looked over at her older sister, uncertain. “I don’t know. I’m not the one with the master plan, not this time.” Not ever really. She was just here to get things done, to bring Nell home. She might have lines now, boundaries she wouldn’t cross. But she needed to bring her sister home. “Bea, you find anything in the books on how we can get her back?”

In her early twenties Bea had been worried about her breakups and losing touch with her friends, how different that was from her sisters’ lives. How different that was from Adam’s life. He was walking into war for her baby sister and the eldest Vural could not help but see the flash of the blade cutting down when she looked at him. How many people would risk their lives for Nell? Would Adam be added to the list that had lost theirs for her? Nell, of course, was worth it, but Bea couldn’t help wishing that Adam and Nell could simply lead a life that was similar to Bea’s at their age. 

Her shadows swirled at her feet, agitated by the whirling emotions suffocating their mother, they clung to her ankles as she moved to grab a tome she had taken from Nell’s things. “We’ll be using her magic for this. Or at least we will be using an adjusted version of her magic,” Her voice flowed confidently through the space, coating every surface with honeyed hope that she did not feel. Is this how Luce and Nell felt when they lost her? Luce, now, had witnessed both of her sisters gone, taken unfairly from this world. In an impulsive move, Bea found her little sister’s hand, squeezing as she thought of the terror that must be drowning the middle Vural. “Adam, we will get her back.” Bea would destroy this world for her sister, if it meant she was safe. She would tear the fabric that kept this plane stable. She wondered if the universe knew, if it was prepared to go to war for Penelope Vural. Bea was ready. 

Adam had always been cautioned against hope. It was a purely therapeutic emotion, meant to comfort the dread of uncertainty. Esther Walker had instructed her children that facts should be assessed only for what they were rather than what we want them to be. We are not gods. This is not Hollywood. The cold universe wouldn’t fudge the numbers just because some monkeys on a random rock in the Milky Way had feelings in their skull. 

But Adam knew that not everyone grew up with their mom bluntly stating that they’d eventually lose everyone they care about in the long war. While Adam knew this grimness was Esther’s way of loving him authentically, it’d probably be cruel to give Nell’s sisters the same treatment right now. 

“Hey if we got a plan anything’s possible” he assured Beatrice with a confident lie of smile. Trying not to look at the darkness bubbling at the deathless woman’s feed, Adam turned his attention to Luce briefly. “Hey uh, resident fire scientist. Any way I could get something that might give me a chance if like...there is like an inferno or something? Just a few seconds to get the fuck out?” 

Adam shifted his weight, leather and alloyed kevlar creaking with the moment. “How do we get access Nell’s magic then?”

Bea’s hand slipped into her own and, for the first time, Luce realized just how changed her sister was. The familiar warmth, the heat that had always matched her own-- a source of both frustration and comfort that had followed their whole lives… It was gone now. Bea’s fire was gone. She didn’t have it anymore. She never would. But she was still here, still standing, still trying. And Luce was going to try too. She’d reclaimed her fire, she’d manage to fan the spark back into a blaze, and now that she had the power back? The least she could do was help Adam. To keep him safe. Fuck. She nodded slowly, mulling over how she’d manage something like that. Their mother, she’d made charms to protect Nell from their fire as children, back before they had total control. “I think we have something that we could use-- a necklace Nellie used to wear when she was little. Kept her safe from us, before we could control our fire.” She said, dreading the idea of going into Nell’s room to look for the charm. She didn’t want to step foot in there. Just because she could expect the same anguish that had overtaken her when she’d went into Bea’s room last year-- that didn’t make it any easier. This town, this fucking town. She’d thought that the nightmare had ended, that Bea was safe, that Nell was safe. But nothing changed here.

Looking at the book in Bea’s hand, Luce swallowed. “That’s one of Nells. I don’t know how to do what she does, Bea. Neither one of us do. Summoning, blood magic-- I… What are you planning?”

The charm. Bea had forgotten about the charm that used to keep Nellie safe from them. A physical reminder that she was different from her sister. Bea didn’t blame her for not keeping it on her as an adult. “Do you know where that is?” Nell could have thrown it out years ago, but the youngest Vural tended to know when to hold onto things that could be useful. Bea hoped that she had classified this as something useful enough to hold onto, even with it’s baggage. “I don’t know how to either, but Leah is going to help me research too,” She squeezed her sister’s hand. “We have some luck on our side, we’re already somewhat connected. Her magic is, obviously, connected to ours, but by bringing me back we’re even further intertwined. Your magic combined brought me back, so we can use that as a way to channel her too.” It wouldn’t be that simple though, there were more steps that she wasn’t quite too sure on yet. “We need something else, something to track her too, but I’m not completely sure how to do that yet, if you have any suggestions.”

Adam nodded and mouthed thanks to Luce as Beatrice spoke. He hated to part the sisters with something that reminded them of Nell but when you are about to try a longshot, anything that could ease the odds even slightly was needed. Beatrice's question brought a stab of pain as Adam stirred from where he’d sat, reached into a pocket, and withdrew a battered compass. 

“Nell gave this to me, it was uh a present,” Adam’s stomach clenched at the cruel irony of being given a six months dating present by a sad fire cat. It’d been the morning after he’d taken Nell out to ask their relationship to end for safety’s sake, only for that to be the mistake that caused the disaster he’d hoped to avoid. 

“It points uh,” the answer was that it pointed towards home, though Nell had cautioned that it was more metaphorical than literal. “It can take me to her,” he stammered, trying to keep his voice steady. 

Shifting uncomfortably, Luce swallowed. “It’s in her room. I can…” I don’t want to go in there, not alone. But you could never understand, Bea. You weren’t left behind the way we were. “Get it. Yeah, I’ll grab it.” She said before pushing back from the kitchen table, her hand slipping from Bea’s. She lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching as Adam pulled out a worn looking compass. As Adam explained what it was, Luce couldn’t help but wonder how Nell had gotten her hands on something like that. And just how lucky they were that she had. Luce nodded. “Good. That should… definitely help.” She was dragging her feet, she knew that. Just bite the bullet. With a slightly forced smile, Luce patted the door frame. “I’ll get the necklace.”

The walk up the stairs and down the hall to Nells was a short one, but every step filled Luce with that same anxiety she’d felt every time she had walked past Bea’s door last summer. It was a dread, a fear. That no matter what they did, it wouldn’t be enough. And that all that would be left of her sister would be tucked away in a room. That everything inside would stop being a part of Bea, of Nell, and start being a memorial. A memory. She didn’t want to step foot inside that room. But she had to. If they wanted to find Nell, this was their best shot. Luce pushed open the door and forced herself not to pay attention to the potted plants on their shelves, their leaves wilting a little from lack of care. She didn’t allow herself to dwell on the desk with books still open, the bed unmade with rumpled sheets, as though Nell had just left for the day. These were all reminders of her sister that she couldn’t handle. Instead, Luce began to look for the necklace. 

It wasn’t until this past year that Bea truly understood love. In a sense, she had looked at love the same way her mother did, based on what the other person could do for her. Bea had collected people for their skills, pocketed the ones who were the most useful and claimed she understood love through them. It wasn’t until she had been lost that she got just how powerful love was and even then, though she had seen so much work put into her resurrection, she hadn’t witnessed it all. She hadn’t seen the planning or the original mourning, she had not been involved in the panic and grief. She was unable to escape it here, where love twisted into melancholy suffocating them as aptly as summer heat did in the afternoon. 

Bea reached out to Adam, “Can I hold it? I’ll give it back to you after.” She couldn’t take the physical piece of Nell he had left, but looking at it would help her form a plan. They were all relying on her to make a plan that would bring Nell back. With Luce gone searching, she looked at him for a long moment, considering him. “Adam, I know how much a person would do for Nell.” I know sacrifice and I feel like I’m looking at one. “Please do your best to come back to us too.” Some of that honey sweet hope had dissipated now that Luce was gone, Adam didn’t need that, not in the way Luce did. “Is there anyone who can go with you as back up?” Please, don’t do this alone. 

Adam pressed the compass in Beatrice’s hand. It took Adam a bit to answer Beatrice's request. His wide distant eyes and the lost way they drifted around the Vural’s home, looking anywhere but Bea’s face, revealed the lie behind the firm set of his jaw.

It’d been a long time since Adam had felt his age. Uncertainty and finding yourself were unnecessary when you’d grown up already knowing you’d be a soldier and what war you’d be fighting in. His civilian peers had gone through heartbreaks, angst, anger, cycles of rebellion, maturation, acceptance, and reinvention. But Adam had already grown up at sixteen, when he signed away his life to fight and die in service to humanity. He’d learned how to make bombs, lethal holds, blades, marksmanship, and how to keep his head in a warzone when everyone else had been fretting about what school clique to fall in. 

But now Adam suddenly felt like a child in this tactical armor. It was as if he’d finally woken up from a dream to realize the weight was too heavy for him, but it was already way too late to learn all that stuff the other kids took for granted. Adam marveled at how narrow his own knowledge of the world was. 

Honestly? He knew way more about how to kill monsters than how to be human. 

With bittersweetness, Adam realized that made him exactly what Nell hadn't needed, and only now that she was trapped in Hell was he an ideal partner. 

“I promised Luce I’d come with her back to Earth,” was the only assurance Adam could offer Beatrice. He shook his head at the matter of back up. “I’ve got family and Hunter friends who volunteered but I can’t ask them to take this risk. Besides we need all hands on deck to deal with all the shit coming out of the Portals.”

There were times people should be selfish and this felt like a time, but Bea knew that Adam wouldn’t agree. She could spend all night trying to convince him otherwise and it wouldn't work. He was more stubborn than Nellie sometimes, which was saying something. They were the only people that could get through to each other sometimes. It reminded her a bit of how she and Felix could be with each other. 

“Is it going to be that bad?” She had no idea what these portals could mean for everyone else after all this. Honestly, she didn’t really care what happened as long as the people she loved were going to be okay. “You aren’t asking them if they offered, Adam.”

“In situations like these the portals often get worse, opening wider till they let bigger and bigger things through, stuff that our weapons won't work on,” Adam claimed, suggesting perhaps that the already deadly things coming through the dimensional breaches right now were just small fry compared to what really waited in the beyond. 

“Eventually we get what’s sometimes called a Hellmouth,” the Hunter said, numbly staring at a wall as the present mixed with another time where doomsday had loomed near. “Unless its stopped reality itself could be permanently fucked around here...well...fucked even harder I mean, in a way that can’t be covered up from the outside world any more. They’ll probably notice the tentacle godzillas after a bit.”  

Everyone had called Dad a hero. Had he felt like this, just another expendable piece of kindling thrown on the fire to keep ‘normal’ going for just a little while longer? 

“Hey uh,” Adam prevaricated with a shrug knowing Beatrice was correct. “I’ve ask people for supplies and stuff. They’ve been very generous, but actually going in is something I don’t think I have the right to ask.” Of someone that wasn’t raised to die that way, was rest that was left unsaid. 

It was always the end of the world, it seemed. No matter what everyone did to fix it, something else would come and take the mantle. Bea couldn’t help but feel as though sometimes these things were inevitable. It didn’t stop her from understanding the need to fight, if anything she got that this made people fight harder, because at least they had done something then. Still to fight for a world that didn’t know you were doing it must be exhausting. “So, it needs to close or else we’re all going to die via horrible ways.” The countdown they had already started to tick faster. “I guess it's good that we have people who are going to help then.”

Her throat tightened with unsaid words of caution and unnecessary attempts to dissuade him. Bea knew the look in his eyes, knew that no matter what she did or said, he wouldn’t turn from this course of action. She was sure she would have seen the same look in her own if someone had dared to stop her before she found Nell. “I suppose giving you supplies is enough.” It wasn’t. 

Bea went back to Nell’s book, hoping that skimming again would reveal something else. And it did. She looked between the compass in her hand and the word bone. “Adam, do you know if Nell’s been keeping anything she’s killed? Like the bones of a monster?” The words came out quickly, excited by the potential that laid between them now. 

Adam nodded. “On our first mission together, there was an Alchemist dude who was using a Dolophage to harvest intense emotions and memories from trauma patients,” the Hunter explained, swallowing down the bittersweet feeling of that recollection. It was hard to imagine that’d hadn’t even been a year ago. “Nell forged the Reversal Talisman so the Dologphage’s powers reflected back on it when it tried to tentacle my brain,” Adam explained, poking his ears to illustrate that he’d volunteered to get fed on by the demon as bait. “After we killed it she kept its bones.” 

Digging around in Nell’s room wasn’t easy. Luce had known it wasn’t going to be easy. Not when there was so much uncertainty and that sense of doubt loomed over her every move. The moment she’d heard that Nell was gone, the second she’d heard from Adam, a pit had formed in her stomach. Or maybe it reopened-- maybe it wasn’t a pit so much as it was a gaping wound, created by Bea’s death, that she’d barely been able to tend to. She hadn’t stopped to process the loss, the grief, the anger. The anger. She’d only managed to get a hold of that until it was too late. And just as she was finally coming to grips with the events of the past year, White Crest found a fucking way to open up the wounds. Shutting the dresser drawer she’d been pawing through, Luce settled down on the edge of Nell’s unmade bed. 

Luce clenched her jaw as she tried to sort through her thoughts, trying to figure out where Nell might keep the necklace. But all she could think of was how much it would hurt if she had to do this for real. If she had to pack up boxes of Nell’s things. She hadn’t had to do it with Bea, they’d known how to bring her back, known exactly what they needed to do, even if they weren’t sure if it would work. But Nell was lost. Gone. And Luce had no fucking clue how she could help. Swallowing, Luce wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before her gaze fell on a simple box on Nell’s bookshelf. Luce moved towards it, apprehensive. Her fingers lifted the lid and inside were little trinkets-- magical in nature. Some of them familiar to her, others she didn’t know where Nell had even found them. But there it was. The necklace Nisa had enchanted all those years. Luce took the necklace from the box and closed the box before hurrying out the door. She didn’t want to stay in that room, didn’t want to see that place again. Not until Nell was back. Not until they were all safe.

“Hey. Found it.” Luce said as she held up the little silver charm necklace. “We might need to re-up the magic, but it should help. And hey. Might help with the tracking situation. She wore this all the time.”

Plans were beginning to race rapidly through Bea’s mind, wheels spinning so quickly that she was almost scared they’d burn out. “With that bone we could connect with her,” She mused, before grinning at Luce. “And with the necklace we’ll also be able to tell how close Adam is to her. He’ll be able to use the compass, hopefully, in the dimension to find her quickly.” With eyes brighter than they had been since Nell was gone, Bea looked between the two younger adults,“We have a plan now, a really good one, with three ways to track her. We’re going to get her back.” And the moment she got back, she was going to get the lecture of her fucking life. 

Adam nodded. “Hey...thanks both of you, like I know you’d do this for Nell anyway, but I still appreciate you folks having my back on this.” 

Luce leaned against the doorway, taking in the scene. Bea, determined, her old fire lit inside her with this new mission to get her sister back. Adam, weary in a way that no one should be at his age, but filled with the same resolve. And then there was her. She fell somewhere between the two of them-- somewhere between grim determination and optimism. They were going to bring Nell home, come hell or high water. Which, in this town? Either could happen. “Sounds like we’ve got a game plan then.” Luce said with a nod. “Of course, Adam. And… thanks for leading the charge here. We’re gonna bring her home.”

[pastelsandpining]

Bittersweet

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Summary: Link stays a moment with a friend to think about the princess and her valiant, endless fight against evil incarnate--and what she might mean to him.

Words: 2112

Warnings: questioning of faith, survivor’s guilt if you squint, let me know if there’s anything I missed, it’s kind of just super bittersweet haha

Masterlist

Please do not comment anything HWAOC related as I do not want to be spoiled! :)

______

“Master Link, are you alright?”

The Rito bard meant well. He was one of the many who’d been nothing but kind and helpful towards him since the very beginning. Yet his question made Link pause the drumming of his fingers against the wooden platform and frown.

“I’m just thinking,” he decided to say as he looked up.

“Ah,” sighed the bard, who turned his gaze towards the vast expanse of Hyrule. “Yes, happens to the best of us. Would you perhaps like some company?”

Link shrugged with a gesture to the open area besides him. 

“I apologize if I overwhelmed you with my song,” spoke Kass again as he took a seat. “But I suppose everything is a little overwhelming.”

“That’s generous,” Link replied simply and busied his fingers with the Sheikah Slate. He tapped through the compendium, through the photo album, through the map, just to have something to look at other than his friend. And after a moment of thought, he shuffled back from the edge of the platform. “She’d kill me herself if I dropped this.”

“Do you remember much about her?” Kass asked, ending another stretch of silence. 

Link frowned again, tracing the swirling patterns with his fingers. What could he say, really?

Everything from the mossy trees to the breath that sustained life carried the Princess of Hyrule with it. There were bits of her everywhere. 

She was nothing more than another ghost in the beginning—a face he couldn’t make out, a voice that called from nothing, a girl he should know but could not recall. But when he stood under the arching gate of Lanayru Promenade, with the overgrown grass scratching his boots and chilled wind from the mountain biting his nose, her face became as clear as crystal.

And suddenly, every petal of a Silent Princess carried her name, and every gust of wind echoed her voice, and every touch of the sun’s light mimicked her smile, and every Hot Footed Frog was a hypothesis, and every piece of Sheikah technology he uncovered was her passion, and every drop of rain was her grief, and every deactivated guardian was a totem of her power, and every glance towards the castle was a token of her love.

There were glimpses of her hiding a smile behind her hand. There were glimpses of her fingers brushing so softly against his that he wasn’t sure any of it was real. There were glimpses of his fingers tracing gentle lines over the shapes of her face while she slept. A kiss, light as a feather, to the inside of her wrist. A grab of her hand as they ran for safety. She was the heartbeat that kept Hyrule alive, and there were so few who knew that—but he did.

“She’s everywhere,” Link answered softly, wondering vaguely if she could see him or hear him from the confines of her prison. If she could, the wind was quiet.

Kass gave no response, but his gaze was something understanding, and he was compelled to continue speaking.

“I don’t remember everything,” he said and fiddled with the Slate again. “I don’t think I ever will. I didn’t know where to start at first. But she left me pictures and now everything reminds me of her. Sometimes she’s the only thing I know, and I don’t even know her.”

“Would you like to?” Kass asked, as if he really had a choice in the matter.

“I don’t even know if she’s alive,” Link spoke, but it wasn’t quite true. He couldn’t be certain, but a part of him simply felt that Zelda was, somehow, very much alive. It came with every warning she whispered out when the blood red moon was high in the sky. It came with every tap to the Sheikah Slate, which she once held and studied so dearly. It came with every glance towards Hyrule Castle, and each feeling of dread, of guilt that it caused. It came with every memory of her, whether she be submerged in a spring or invested in her studies. It came with the very life that filled the kingdom—the life that she’d been draining herself of for the past century.

“She is stronger than anyone gave her credit for. I would love to meet her.”

“She’s smart,” Link added, turning his gaze back to the ancient piece of technology in his hands. “Too smart. Research was her passion, and all that remains of it is with me. I hate to keep her waiting.”

“For you, Master Link, I believe she would wait however long it takes.”

If it were possible, she would. But fighting took so much that she didn’t have a forever to give. She’d served enough time.

“You said she loved me,” Link spoke at last. The words made his heart twist violently, like it wanted to wring out all of the pain. 

“Loves, yes,” Kass said softly, setting a feathered wing on his shoulder. “She loves many things and many people, and she loves very deeply. I believe it was my teacher’s one mistake—her sacrifice was not solely for you. Yet one does not throw themselves into the aim of a kill without harboring a deep connection.”

Link turned his gaze towards the castle again, wondering not for the first time if perhaps he’d loved her too. He woke with nothing, with hardly a name to himself, and still he followed her. She was but an echo in a vast and darkened tomb, and still he was compelled to listen to her, to obey her, to call out to this being that filled him with such a foreign familiarity. He’d never met her—not in this Hyrule, but he craved getting her back from the thing that had separated them a century ago. And he knew that simply being a knight devoted to his kingdom didn’t sink this far. Her voice was a comfort, her face in his memories was a safety he didn’t know he’d lost, and a simple knight attendant wouldn’t dream to see her smile, rumored as warm as the sun, with his own eyes.

And faintly, he could remember the feeling of her lips on his—a moment of clarity in what must’ve been the worst birthday on record. Goddesses, what he wouldn’t do to have her back.

“Can you love someone you don’t know?” Link wondered aloud, watching the clouds move slowly over the darkening backdrop of the sky. 

“There are little rules that love follows. Once you accept that, I think, then answers come easy.”

A soft sigh slipped past his lips. Kass was right of course, just as he always was, even if he didn’t know what to say to someone with a situation as twisted as his.

He knew Zelda before, had loved her before—and if the demon of destruction Calamity Ganon had become could surpass lifetimes on hatred alone, then why couldn’t love last past a century? It made him all the more anxious to end this, because only then would he know for sure. Only seeing her before him, feeling if she was truly solid, would answer his questions. And she was the only tie he had to his life over one hundred years ago.

“And if I fail? Again?” Link asked, and the weight of the Master Sword doubled, like the burden had never left his shoulders after all—because it hadn’t.

Everyone he’d met, they were all depending on him. And if he failed, then the events of a century ago would repeat. There would be no resurrection shrine this time, no sacred princess to hold the Calamity back as they waited for their hero. 

“I believe our fates have been set out long before us. There’s no changing what the goddesses have in store. Whatever happens was always meant to happen, and no fault for that lies on your shoulders, Master Link.”

“Would they let their kingdom burn?” Link said, gripping the Slate so tightly that his knuckles whitened. “Would they turn their backs on us again, on Zelda, after we’ve done nothing but show them loyalty?”

“Do you believe they would?”

He turned his gaze away, because he did. They’d already done so in the years they ignored Zelda’s pleadings. They’d already done so by allowing the slaughtering of Hyrule as their princess begged and cried for those same people to be saved. They’d done so by making their goddess incarnate wonder whether or not she was meant to be who she was. And they’d done so by ripping him from her grasp, then dropping him back into existence with nothing but a body and a deep, foreign sense of grief. And maybe this anger, this blame he felt towards the goddesses was not helping them to grant him the kindness he knew he needed for this journey. They’d taken everything from him, and now they expected him to turn to them for help and grovel at their feet and beg them to save their own kingdom.

How cruel the deities could be.

“It’s alright,” Kass continued, as if he simply knew. “I think everyone doubts their faith at times. With the suffering you’ve endured, how could you not?”

“What do you think?” Link asked. “About the gods.”

For once, the bard did not have an immediate reply. He hummed as he thought, and Link took to watching the first few stars peek through the dusk. A light twinkling at the end of the darkness. The irony was not lost on him.

“I think the more time that passes, the more clouded it becomes,” the Rito said at last. “The details of the goddesses become fuzzy, and we take to retelling victories alone. I think the gods of our world are very old, and communications have dwindled even in hours like these because they, too, are tired. But I know that we will never truly understand the gods. Oh, we may have our theories, but they have existed far longer than us.”

Link wondered partially if that was true. The sword told the tale of a thousand lifetimes, with a hero’s spirit tied to each one. And with every hero, there was a daughter of Hylia to go with them.

At this point, living a century after the time he once belonged in, he absolutely felt like a god that had lived forever. 

“I’m angry,” Link admitted, though he was sure he didn’t have to. “I’m angry they turned their back on us, and I’m angry for Zelda—that she’s had to fight alone for the past century after everything else she’d been through.”

“Are you also not fighting alone?” Kass asked. 

“No.” His reply was immediate, coming without a second thought, because he’d never truly been alone for any of this. Even before he met his newfound friends, Zelda guided him. And he could do no more than whisper into the air and hope that it carried on the winds to her, and that she was listening. “I’m not alone.”

“Neither is she,” the bard assured. “As long as there are people who remember her, and as long as you stand with intentions to help her, she will never be alone.”

The words made his voice catch and his lip tremble, so Link ducked his head and fiddled with the gloves over his hands. 

Zelda deserved the world as soon as she got out of her prison. It was time he stopped with his fears, because she was counting on him. All of Hyrule was counting on him—again. And he needed her like he’d known her his whole life.

“You'll be the first to meet her,” Link promised as he glanced to his friend. “She’ll love you.”

“It would be my honor, truly. And perhaps then I will write my own song about a boy who traversed mountains and deserts for the girl he held dear, and a girl who brought destruction to its knees for the people she loved.”

Link cracked a smile and said, “As long as I’m the first to hear it.”

“Oh, of course.”

He turned his gaze back towards the sky. The moon was just beginning to peak over the horizon, as big and white and calming as it belonged. He wondered vaguely if, wherever she was within that castle, she could see it too.

“I think I do love her,” he said softly.

“And there is no shame in that,” Kass replied. Another feathered wing was set upon his shoulder. He was grateful for the comfort. “I have faith that you will get her back for us. For you.”

“I’ll do anything.”

And he meant it.

[idio-cies]

Jatp- Perfect Harmony Dissection

Holy Moly this show has taken me by surprise in the best possible way.

I forgot how good Kenny Ortega is... and omg the dynamics in this show are just *chefs kiss* anyway that’s for another post

All of these songs left an impression with me, but Perfect Harmony just got the cogs working in my brain so I wanted to dissect it because I can’t stop thinking about it.

This will be long but I hope people will bear with me.

I found out that Madison and Charlie wrote this one together for the show, so that’s cool. So, even if this is Julie’s fantasy/daydream, it objectively also has “Luke’s” input as well, considering Madison and Charlie were writing with the characters in mind.

The lead up to this song is Julie realising she is falling for Luke, and has Luke on the brain, so she slips up with calling Nick, Luke yadayada significant to say her crush has changed as well blah blah blah.

I first thought it was strange that they are all in black? They weren’t performing for anyone other than for merit. However Black is of course associated with death, mystery etc, but in this context ,with them being “fancy” it deems them as more elegant than anything. I like using this site for colour reference. Please make of it what you will, but I’m sticking with classy and mysterious with this performance.

Then I noticed how Julie and Nick are the centre of attention, plus Nick and Julie seem to improvise? They aren’t doing as the others are. Whether they are meant to or not. I think this is meant to draw parallels, with Nick sliding on the floor and Luke tumbling, then also the lift, how here it’s short and sweet, yet with Julie and Luke there are two and the second is drawn out and more meaningful etc.

I think she must be dancing normally in reality throughout this, but I’ll come back to that later.

So let’s get into this song.

“Step into my world”- I find this interesting because Luke is the one stepping over into hers, but also this is like some “in-between” that they're in;  significant of the Limbo that the guys are currently stuck in and also the fact that Julie is the bridge. The world is probably metaphorical for music as Luke helps re-establish it in Julie and is also the guy where music is his whole world, as he lets all of his emotions out and connects with people. It’s a running theme being called up again. However, you cannot deny the possible connotation of Julie potentially stepping over with them. It’s also ironic as Luke “steps” into Julie’s world “I’m sorry we came into your life” - Luke, ep 1, and literally steps over here.

“Bittersweet love story about a girl”- undeniable. Their story is bittersweet. Impossible to be together; yet have a connection that runs so deep.

But now we see the scenery, and it’s all monochrome and the candles just scream romance, but also to me, of serenity.

I mean even the dancefloor reflects to make it look as if they are dancing on water or in an in between world. The reason why I point out monochrome gives the intention of “black and white” there is a lack of complexity, it is clear about how true their bond is, and to them it isn’t complex. Also I can’t help but think of yin and yang which can also be included here as they balance each other out. Julie yin, Luke yang. This is ironic considering Julie is always symbolised with light and Luke the contrast with a dark and being, you know, dead.

I also came across a gifset of the parallels to dirty dancing that Perfect Harmony dance had, and again, the colours are flipped with the pair which is just... interesting in this instance.

“Shook me to the core  “Voice like an angel, never heard before”- pretty simple, Luke has always been amazed with Julie’s talent, plus a metaphor commonly attached to Julie, being called an angel. He is also calling her unique. Passage of touch.

But then we get the touch. So I think this whole hand passage thing is reflected in the time they tried to hold hands, then the last time and they could then touch. In this instance though it’s like Julie is the one being resurrected. Again, this could be another metaphor of his hand in helping her find her music again, but you cannot overlook the other implications.

So here is where they dance. I am no dance expert, but dance does have it’s own language that I think everyone can interpret, but I will try my best to explain. I also think “harmony” can be a way to express dance partners as well.

“Here in front of me”- I do think this is in reference being able to touch them, but the drawing up to her hands is so interesting because of the eye contact and draw. It’s more intimate.

Then they go into something similar to what the routine is meant to be in reality, but instead they make it like a pulse on the line “they’re shining so much brighter”

I point out a pulse because it’s “living” and it just juxtaposes with who Julie is talking about; the guys.

A twirl and lift on “than I have ever seen”- This is Julie talking about the guys. Ray calls them angels and then at the end of season they literally freaking glow so... (also pronoun change to collective when Julie starts singing)

“Life can be so mean”- ep 8, after Luke told him their demise would be one of three ways, Julie was going to be hurt all over again. Julie and Flynn had an understanding that the world was being cruel when they were discussing it. Also I just feel their dance here is like they are interpreting a rough ride/rollercoaster. They swing arms then tuck and twist.

“But when he goes, I know he doesn’t leave”- Luke will be in her heart, like she found with her Mum. She did let them go, and she understands she will have to do that, but they will live on in her heart.

Also hand over heart, as she “falls” into him and he doesn’t let her fall. That’s just cute.

“The truth is finally breaking through”- either their feelings or just what will be revealed to us. Though they are parted and Luke does the spinning on the ground so I expect a pitfall somewhere along the way (probs Caleb)

But he rolls right back to her

“Two worlds collide when I’m with you”- Well, the fact that they are the living and the dead.. so. Plus in-between. Don’t know how to interpret the dance here, I just like the swishy steps

“A voice is rising so, so high”- how Julie comes out of her shell. Also can’t help but link to the angel motif. Plus, Julie is lifted up, she is the catalyst, she is rising up in fame really. Luke is one of the people who helps her soar as well.

“We come to life, when we’re in perfect harmony”- Julie always being told she looks “alive again” when she’s doing music again.  Music and playing with Julie is what makes Luke and the guys feel alive. I gotta say, Charlie and Madison do exhibit some good harmonising.

The lift that happened is like the improv that Nick and Julie do, but then Luke and Julie here make eye contact as she comes down again, but goes back to similar to the dance she is meant to be doing. Until she reaches up on the line “We say we’re friends”, he also helps lift them up.

“We play pretend”. I mean, they kinda do. Luke tries to pass off his feelings with the guys, but that boy is WHIPPED.

“You’re more to me”- right off the bat, I like it. Arms out and a hug. YES. Also just look at that bliss on her face, bless her.

“We create” well yes they create “the perfect harmony”

The cut off is abrupt as Julie snaps back to reality. Then she looks in the mirror and realises Luke isn’t there and that she must’ve gone insane. This is what gets me. I think this is the moment that she realises that her feelings for Luke are deeper than she realised and I think she truly thought that they may have been dancing together in the end.

Is this just an extremely vivid daydream, because she had one of these when she mentally performed “I got the Music” and she must’ve done something during that time as she took someone’s drumsticks during her little renaissance. So what happened in real life? Did she just dance around a little, humming a bop? I just... I imagine that this is just a very lucid daydream, which is fair enough, relatable, but it just interacts so much with real life rather than actually just being all in her head. I just find it interesting.

The full version has some lines that I also want to point out. In the second verse there are these lines:

”You set me free”- Luke sings this line which can mean that she will set his soul free- she is a part of his “unfinished business”

“You and me together is more than chemistry”- Julie sings this line. We know that chemistry was pointed out by Alex and Reggie to Luke, and I believe Flynn also says about them being an appealing pair when performing. But they are more than chemistry. I mean they do work well together and they care about each other deeply, but I also can’t help but think of the “signs” her mother was giving her, and believing that the guys were sent to her.

“Love me as I am, I’ll hold your music here inside of my hands”- This is sung by both of them. They already do this, but holding their music in each other’s hand is interesting. I guess this is saying about trust and that they will do it together. I also think this relates to being able to finally hold hands. It’s like the saying “Whatever’s mine is yours”. They share pain, they share lyrics, their passion for music etc.

Then in the bridge we have the lines “I feel your rhythm in my heart”- I have a feeling that they are in sync with each other, they can immediately click and tune in with a melody. It’s also ironic as Luke doesn’t have a heart.

“You are my brightest burning star”- Luke sings this line. It makes sense. As I have said previously, Julie is this beacon of light, Luke clearly is in awe of her and inspires him. He also straight up calls her a star in ep 9 as well

“I never knew a love so real”- oh man, the irony. Their connection is pure and true, it’s just so annoying that he’s a ghost

“We’re heaven on earth, melody and words”- again with the metaphor of the middle ground where I suppose Julie sits. I understand the idiom and the bliss that they feel, and the connection they have and share with people. It’s just interesting as at the moment earth is currently Luke and the guys’ afterlife.

Anyway, that has been my dissection of Perfect Harmony. Thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far 😅

PS. the lack of visual aids is because Tumblr hates me, I apologise

[hamliet]

Hey there! I’d like to ask something, if you’re ok with that. In mdzs, a lot of people say that despite JC being so antagonistic towards WWX, he still loves him and misses him. I don’t see how, his actions in any version of the story say the exact opposite to me. Maybe one needs to look between the lines to see it, but I’m horrible at reading others, so if I may bother you and ask what your thoughts are on the subject?

Hey! You are always welcome to ask me questions about MDZS. Especially while we’re all trapped inside.

So I will say I do think Jiang Cheng does indeed love and miss Wei Wuxian. I also think the fandom has a tendency to wipe away Jiang Cheng’s extremely serious flaws (especially in comparison to, say, how they treat Jin Guangyao’s flaws in comparison). Jiang Cheng is very much a foil for Jin Guangyao and for Madame Yu, Wei Wuxian, and Jin Ling (as well as Su She, but that’s perhaps for another meta).

Jiang Cheng’s fundamental defense mechanism is projection. We know already that he is insecure–the way his father treated him is horrible. Madame Yu, in turn, was very clearly projecting her own insecurities onto her son:

Jiang Cheng was stuck between his father and his mother. After a moment of hesitation, he moved to his mother’s side. Holding his shoulders, Madam Yu pushed him forward for Jiang FengMian to see, “Sect Leader Jiang, it seems that some things I have to say. Look carefully—this, is your own son, the future head of Lotus Pier. Even if you frown upon him just because I was the one who bore him, his surname is still Jiang! … I don’t believe for one second that you haven’t heard of how the outside people gossips, that Sect Leader Jiang has still not moved on from a certain Sanren though so many years have passed, regarding the son of his old friend as a son of his own; they’re speculating if Wei Ying is your…”

She’s really asking: I’m here, so why don’t you care about me? Do you really prefer a dead Cangse Sanren to me? But the tragic irony is that the way in which she asks this question only pushes Jiang Fengmian away. And yet, she did love him, which Jiang Fengmian realizes when, in the end, he finds out Madame Yu had taught Zidian to obey his command as well as hers. Zidian is a symbol of her pride and heritage.

Let’s also look at MXTX’s description of Jiang Cheng’s ideal woman. While it’s not in the novel and is extra material, it’s a perfect example of projection:

naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working and thrifty, coming from a respected family, cultivation level not too high, personality not too strong, not too talkative, voice not too loud and must treat Jin Ling nicely. 

Is he looking for a wife, or is he looking for Shijie to mother Jin Ling? Because he’s 100% describing Jiang Yanli.

Jiang Cheng does exactly what his mother did to him to Wei Wuxian. He projects his own insecurities, the very ones Madame Yu identified (great job mothering there), onto Wei Wuxian. Why does he hate Wei Wuxian? He hates Wei Wuxian for killing Shijie, when it was Shijie’s own choice to sacrifice herself, and Jiang Cheng then rendered her last sacrifice moot by killing his shixiong. So does Jiang Cheng hate Wei Wuxian, or does he hate himself for killing his sibling in a moment of rage?

It goes deeper, though. Because we see that Jiang Cheng’s fundamental issue is that he hates himself, because he is not as good at cultivation nor as strong as Wei Wuxian, and his father doesn’t love him as much as he loves Wei Wuxian. A child’s mind is going to connect that to “if I’m stronger, Dad will love me.” Jiang Cheng never grew out of this mindset. But what is strength to Jiang Cheng?

It’s protecting the people he loves. So Shijie’s death? He blames himself. One of Jiang Cheng’s most vulnerable moments is when he begs Wei Wuxian to turn away from Yiling and the Wens, because “I can’t protect you.” He wants to protect Wei Wuxian because he couldn’t protect his parents, yet he wants to protect himself more. It’s tragic. What Jin Guangyao said to Jiang Cheng in the temple is true, though of course, it’s not so simple as to be Jiang Cheng’s fault solely. But his insecurities did play a role and were indeed exploited by a cruel, calculating society:

“… Back then, the LanlingJin Sect, the QingheNie Sect, and the GusuLan Sect had already finished fighting over the biggest share. The rest could only get some small shrimps. You, on the other hand, had just rebuilt Lotus Pier and behind you was the YiLing Patriarch, Wei WuXian, the danger of whom was immeasurable. Do you think the other sects would like to see a young sect leader who was so advantaged? Luckily, you didn’t seem to be on good terms with your shixiong, and since everyone thought there was an opportunity, of course they’d add fuels to your fire if they could. No matter what, to weaken the YunmengJiang Sect was to strengthen themselves. Sect Leader Jiang, if only your attitude towards your shixiong was just a bit better, showing everyone that your bond was too strong to be broken for them to have a chance, or if you exhibited just a bit more tolerance after what happened, things wouldn’t have become what they were. Oh, speaking of it, you were also a main force of the siege at Burial Mound…”

Jin Guangyao isn’t wrong here, and unlike Jiang Cheng, he’s aware that society sucks but tries to join it anyways. Jiang Cheng grew up privileged despite his sad home life, and therefore never examined whether society was fair or not (as is reinforced by the early conversation Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian have about Jin Guangyao, in which Wei Wuxian expresses that he likes Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng says that, as the son of a whore, Jin Guangyao will only be able to climb so far, yet expresses no deeper concern about this). Jin Guangyao’s tragedy was trying to join society in an effort to prove himself to his father, and Jiang Cheng’s tragedy was not examining himself and his role in society in an effort to prove himself to his father as well, both fathers of whom would be better off ignored. Jiang Cheng did rebuild Lotus Pier, but Wei Wuxian learns that the local people are terrified of Jiang Cheng and hate him, while Jin Guangyao actually did protect the common people, yet Jiang Cheng still has a chance to redeem himself in the end and Jin Guangyao does not, which can be chalked up in great part due to privilege.

This isn’t to argue Jiang Cheng is worse than Jin Guangyao, because better/worse is moot in the world of MDZS. The point is that both Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao bring about the death of a brother by prioritizing their own wellbeing and proving themselves to the fathers whose approval it is impossible to win (because the problem is with them rather than with Jiang Cheng or Jin Guangyao themselves), would have/did kill a child on the basis of their parentage (Wen Yuan was rescued by Lan Wangji or he would absolutely have been killed, Jin Guangyao does kill A-Song–it doesn’t matter whether or not either of them did/would have done it personally; at the very least they set in motion events they knew would result in a child’s death), and yet both raised and genuinely loved Jin Ling (as Jin Ling himself concludes in the end).

But in regards to Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng’s insecurities make it impossible for him to communicate well with the people he loves. He warns Jin Ling not to come back unless he accomplishes something on Dafan Mountain, which almost gets Jin Ling killed trying to prove himself. (I wrote more about that in this meta here.)

After Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, Jiang Cheng proves that he doesn’t hate Wei Wuxian several times despite claiming he does. Firstly? When Jin Guangyao accuses Mo Xuanyu of being Wei Wuxian in the middle of a crowd, Jiang Cheng could easily turn him in  and be rid of him since Jiang Cheng already knows it. And yet, Jiang Cheng does not do so, even when called upon; instead, his indecision is noted. Secondly, he kept Chenqing with him all these years, when he very easily could have destroyed it (which is another parallel to Jin Guangyao, who kept Suibian, an ultimately useless sword); the flute, on the other hand, is a symbol of demonic cultivation and yet Jiang Cheng does not get rid of it. He went so far as to torture other demonic cultivators to death, many of whom are noted to have been innocent, and yet he kept demonic cultivational tools with him, because it was his brother’s–which also, yes, shows how he hates himself and kind of wants to punish himself, too.

And, of course, there’s the sacrifice that Jiang Cheng never reveals (at least not by the novel’s end). He sacrificed his own life to save Wei Wuxian from the Wens, was willing to give up what he always wanted–to lead Lotus Pier and thereby earn his father’s respect–to save Wei Wuxian’s life. Yet, in the end that led to Wei Wuxian sacrificing his golden core for Jiang Cheng, and in the end, Jiang Cheng can’t tell Wei Wuxian for the same reason Wei Wuxian couldn’t tell Jiang Cheng in his first life: it would sound like an excuse. So, again, Jiang Cheng’s pride is getting in the way–yet, at least this time, he is willing to sacrifice looking good and look worse for the sake of letting Wei Wuxian go.

However, I think there’s reason to hope, as I’ve said before. I did not interpret that ending to mean their relationship was over or could never be significantly close again. Wei Wuxian has let go of a lot of his pride and learned some hard lessons about self-sacrifice and protecting people, and the younger generation is making so much room for nuance and kindness and thereby challenging society. I personally assumed they’d have that conversation eventually, but we didn’t need to see it to assume it would happen.

[grim-faux]

06_Lash of Doubt

First

Something was wrong here, that much was apparent.

 This was where it should end. Predestined or whatever it was called; they couldn’t help but struggle to flee this cruel, broken record replaying a distorted harmony of the end of the road. Never the same, but always the inescapable conclusion. And he was so tired, and he didn’t have that sort of fight in him. Everything he could’ve wanted was gone, the world was terrible. His younger-self would learn that hard lesson, as did he.

 That stubborn boy, at his wits end, fighting and running himself haggard to reach the cities center. Struggled against odds that far outclassed him, an agent against the world – a world that wanted him dead and forgotten.

 But he would retaliate. Oh, how he would lash out, use every ounce of his strength in one final hurrah, and revel in what he was capable of. And he – the twisted shadow of the child – was only an agent to demonstrate what could be. As before, he would fail. They will succeed and fall in the same breath. It was not his conclusion, it was the child’s comeuppance. He would be no match against that fire, a child that has studiously decided “enough is ENOUGH”.

 It was depressing and tragic, but it was the one thing – the only thing – he ever wanted when he was little. Turn on his tormentors and fight. Dear-dear, how much he missed that person he was, the youthful confidence, boundless tenacity. That used to be him. That was once him.

 But something has gone very wrong, it was apparent now. The child barely glanced up since his perilous crossing – that ordeal nearly made him choke on the air. But the boy would not react, and only seemed to cower further into himself as his shadow loomed.

 This was not correct. He puzzled, slowing his steps, almost cautious and fearful himself. Something was wrong here, this boy was about to die. He knew this. There was no other way it could end, and it must’ve been excruciating at this point, to sit and wallow here. He wouldn’t be able to spare him if he waited there and accepted this fate. And he couldn’t perish from this endless nightmare, unless the child willed it – wanted it – more than anything else in the world.

 It startled him when the boy did leap back, at long last. He straightened up, prepared for something, at this point he wasn’t certain what it would be. The boy scouted his surroundings as he back peddled, skipping dangerously close to the chasms edge. He didn’t move to impede, perplexed by this trick. The child looked this and that way, the eye holes in the paper bag always flashing back to the tall figure poised in his path. 

This was becoming frustrating; there was no place to run! Out in the open like this, how far are you going to travel before you are snared! Stop stalling!

 The Thin Man swooped his arms out, blotting out the meager range the child could work in. But the child braced himself, first checking his shoulder and the figure there, before coiling into a run – completely missing the hand sweeping low behind his back. In the blind spot of his mask.

 Once the fingers latched around his chest, he went ballistic… or as ballistic as an exhausted youngling could manage. He was not lifted off the road just yet, but thrashed desperately to haul himself away, or dislodge his body. Shockingly, he seemed to have more energy than anticipated. He clawed, wriggled, twisted, grumbled, flailed – at the fist locked tight.

 The rain hummed, intermixed with the static swirling and the breeze kicked up. The Thin Man struggled to comprehend this. Why was it… so easy? How was this allowed? No, it had to be a trick, a trap of some sort. It couldn’t be… had he? It couldn’t end like this. This was not possible.

 He moved his other hand, but withdrew the thought. The child kept glancing up at him, terrified eyes glinting within the holes of the paper bag. He… the elder, was never caught. Not like this. But he could feel that uncontested horror and helplessness, the agony of not knowing what manner of awful fate awaited.

 Was this really an opportunity to break the cycle? It couldn’t be. Simply said, it was inconceivable. This winding, knotted path was still ongoing. What has always been, shall always be. Why wasn’t this child fighting back!?

 Then it dawned on him, the epitome of why this Mono could not challenge him.

 He was frightened and hurt, as he always was when racing to the Signal Tower with reckless abandon. But the resolute was gone. Drained completely. If possible, in the face of this cruel world where everything was an enemy to one so defenseless, the child couldn’t bring himself to fight his greatest antagonist. This facet made possible, only on account that the same fiend that robbed his friend away… had also saved him. And that made the current child, as helpless and ill-equipped against his future shadow. They couldn’t do this. It was wasn’t… in their nature. It was a stalemate.

 Of all the absurdity! The irony! He didn’t need to hound these children to the ends of the world, intent on their destruction and his vengeance. He only needed to save them. Once! To break the cycle. The one thing, the only thing, he could never fathom – the prospect of which never presented itself in his presence. Broke the entire thing.

 The boy had exhausted himself to the point of utter collapse. He lay folded over the fingers, head tilted enough to keep one eyehole of the paper mask fixated on the towering nightmare holding him captive. One arm looped over the index finger, flexed and unclenched as if still struggling for escape, but void wholly of the essential reserves that would ignite such a feat.

 The Thin Man suspected, if he released the child now he might still have the spark in him to flee. As initially planned. He set Mono down and stood back.

 The boy crumpled to the rocky pavement, spent to his last frayed thread. Maybe he thought he was destroyed. The Thin Man waited, regarding the catatonic child, and what should be done about this. This was something dangerous to tamper with, knowing how these events should unfold, but unfamiliar with… how to manage now.

 Leaving him was the option. The more viable option, if he were honest, since he was certain no harm could come to Mono even in this desolate place they had moved to convene on. But it was not what he anticipated, and he shouldn’t be here right now. Or, he didn’t want to see this happen, and he was unsettled. There was something more as well, but he stashed the thought aside for the time.

 He knelt and reached for the little body. Mono winced. He was saying something, but it didn’t sound…. sorted. The words he used had no substance. He should know that speek.

 …………………………………TuNe The TRanSMiSsion………………………………..

 That would destroy the child. Break the cycle. Unless… he did it to himself. He hadn’t tried since he was very little, this was the child’s task now. Nonetheless, he raised a hand to his hat. A little nudge, gently. Pick through a shared frequency….

 The distortion was miniscule, however, the child still jolted and tried to resurrect some remaining strength that was nonexistent. Cautiously, the Thin Man focused. This proximity should have done the other in. It must not have been pleasant, the child shuddered and reached a hand to his mask….

 the voice was frail and difficult to collect. But there it was. A voice.

 Don’t. Don’t….

 The Thin Man stalled. He hadn’t heard that voice in years. “Did hurt you?” The child turned his head an inch, the bag soaked through clung to his head.

 Her.

 The Thin Man lowered his hand and rubbed the spot where she bit him. That was not as unexpected, though it did surprise him. “No.” Once more he tried, “Did I hurt you?” The paper bag sagged slightly, as the child withdrew his gaze. “Answer me.”

 No response.

 With a sigh of static, the Thin Man reached out and set his hands around the child, this time cupping him carefully. It didn’t stop the twitching, but the movement was restrained by lack of energy and focus. Mono did manage to crane his head back enough to gawk, but it was apparent his mind was going quiet and dark, to a place that would buffer him from certain agony.

 The Thin Man observed his surroundings, deducing on the better direction. He wasn’t interested in traversing the transmission or returning to the tower at all. That in itself might kill the boy in his current state, being he was not fitted to deal with the properties of that place. Still, he needed to get him out of the downpour.

 He cast his view upward, to the ghastly beacon signal of the tallest building of Pale City. Waiting and Observing, always watching. It was a wonderful reprieve to have left, but this freedom was fleeting as it always was.

Next

[imherongraystairstrash]

The Broken Hearts Part 5!!

I feel like I publish a new chapter once a millennia, so I don’t think many people are going to read it, but if you’re still here, I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ BUT, because I never publish, I made sure that this chapter was extra long! Happy New Year!!

“ELLIE!” 

Ella felt her entire body jolt awake. 

“Lucie? What are you doing here?”

“I came as soon as I heard! How could I stay in Idris when there is trouble here?”

“What about your children,” Ella said, blinking away sleep. “Did you bring them?”

“I wanted to, but Jesse said it was ‘unsafe’ for them to be here. So we left them with Gideon and Sophie.”

Ella sat up and tried to blink away her sleepiness. 

“What time is it?”

“It’s almost noon, you lazy bum. You must get up.”

“We stayed up late.”

“Everyone else is awake.” 

Ella grunted. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

...

Ella walked into the breakfast parlor and slumped down next to James, who was reading over some papers. His daughter, Caspara, was on his lap, gurgling and talking to James, even though she hasn’t said her first words yet. Caspara always seemed to be talking either to herself or others, though what she was trying to say, no one will ever know. 

“Hulloooo!” Ella said, crossing her eyes at Caspara. “How’s my favorite Herondale niece?”

Caspara giggled and stretched her hands out to her. Ella gave her one of her fingers and Caspara was quiet, leaning back against James’ chest and holding Ella’s finger in her hand. 

“There she is! Our Sleeping Beauty!” Lucie said, fake swooning as she strolled into the parlor.

“Honestly Lu, couldn’t you wake me normally?” Ella said referring to her morning scare. 

“Normal? I refuse to be associated with that vulgar word.”

“Lucie, stop terrorizing your poor sister.” Jesse said, coming from behind Lucie.

“Thank you, Jesse.” Ella said, grabbing a piece of toast.

Lucie slumped into the nearest chair. “You are no fun.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “You should have thought of that before you brought me back from the dead.”

“Please do not discuss your resurrection this early in the morning.” James said, his face in his hands.

Ella looked at him and then at Lucie. She shrugged and gave her a face that suggested she thought James was being dramatic. Ella giggled.

“Are you two staying here long?” She asked Lucie and Jesse, who no doubt portaled in from Idris this morning.

“We don’t think so.” Lucie said. “Eva and Adeline should not be left in Gideon and Sophie’s home for extended periods of time for they might get too comfortable with them and begin acting out.”

“They take after their mother.” Jesse said.

Lucie glared at him. “As they should. Imagine having children like Jesse. What an absolute bore.”

Had Lucie and Jesse’s relationship not thrived on their bickering, Ella would have called a decorum. Instead she enjoyed the show for a while longer before turning to her brother. 

“What are you reading, Jamie?” Ella asked, looking over his shoulder. 

“He won’t tell us.” Lucie said.

Ella frowned. “Why not?”

“Because Sherlock Holmes likes to work alone.” Lucie said, conveying her annoyance with her tone of voice. 

James glared at Lucie. “I’ll tell you, Ella.” Lucie gasped and up a hand to her chest. James continued speaking as though she’d done nothing. “I’m reading over the institute records. Maybe we are all overreacting and last night was just a power outage.”

Ella nodded and looked at her cereal. She didn’t want to remind James of the cruel voice that haunted her dreams last night, the one that spoke before the power went out. James and Cordelia were clearly worried enough. 

So instead, she had breakfast with her siblings and niece. She’d figure it out later.

…

“Hullo Ben!” Jesper Carstairs said cheerfully, “We’re going to the institute and were told to pick you up.”

Ben looked at him through squinted eyes. “That sounds oddly vague. You are not going to abduct me, are you?” 

“Of course not.”

Had the idea of Jesper Carstairs abducting Benjamin Penhallow—who was a good five centimeters taller than the former— not been so absurd, Ben probably would not have taken Jesper’s word.

But it was, so Ben obliged.

“Who’s ‘we’re’” Ben asked, referring to Jesper’s earlier statement. 

“Oh, right. The Fairchilds are meeting us coming with us.” Jesper smiled. “Look, they’re right there about to cross that street. TILDY!” He called.

Matilda whirled around. “Stop calling me that!” 

Jesper smiled. “She loves that pet name.”

…

“What does it mean?!” Ella exclaimed, slamming her head against her open book on the table. Said book was on demon attacks in the past.

Alex was sprawled upside-down from the edge of the sofa, bouncing a rubber ball on the wall and catching it with fluid expertise. 

“Will you stop bouncing that bloody ball?” Ella said, after what felt like the fiftieth time he’d chucked it against the wall.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“I am trying to think, Alex. Something you have no experience with.”

Ella caught his ball before Alex could and sat on it. Alex stuck his tongue out at her.

“You are both children.” Said Jesper from where he sat on the floor entertaining baby Caspara, who Ella had taken with her to the library after breakfast. 

“Oh, the irony.” Jocelyn said, not looking up from her book.

“Should we be concerned about this? The blackout, I mean.” Alex asked, sliding down to the floor. Caspara laughed and stretched out her hands for Alex to pick her up.

“I don’t know. It seems like a pathetic threat to me. But maybe that’s because we grew up around danger.”

“I think I agree with Ella, but I also don’t think we should ignore it. However unthreatening the message may have been, we shouldn’t just ignore it before we have a few answers.” Ben said.

The others nodded in agreement before they all fell silent again, reading or thinking.

“Wait a minute, look at this.” Matilda said from where she was seated. “There’s a demon that can supposedly ‘create’ darkness.”

Ella felt her eyes widen. She pushed past Alex and sat down next to Matilda. Soon, the six (well, seven if you counted Caspara, who was giggling in Alex’s arms) shadowhunters were all crowded around her, peering at the book. 

“In Islam, they use this expression: Iblīs al-Qadīm. It translates to ‘The Ancient Iblis.”

“Iblis. Like, the common Iblis demon? Yes, they do leave darkness where they go, but enough to immerse the entire institute?”

“Perhaps this is a different type of Iblis. From a different realm; a distant cousin of the standard Iblis demon we would find on patrol.”

“We should ask an inside source.” Ella said.

Suddenly, all of the shadowhunters were staring at Alex Lightwood. 

Alex furrowed his eyebrows before he realized why they were staring.

“Hell no.”

“Alex, come on.”

“How do we know they have the same tastes in men?”

“You have a dark charm.”

“No.” Alex said, scooting away. “My brother, Christopher, has a dark charm.”

“Alex, Iblis demons love you.”

“They begged for you to be the one to kill them last year, when we cornered them.” Jesper said.

“Those Iblis demons love them some Lightwood-Herondale boys.”

Alex looked exasperated. “Let me get this straight, you want me to seduce these ‘new’ Iblis demons to get information on what happened?”

“Precisely.” Ella said. 

Alex sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win the argument. “Even if I did agree to this, which I do not, how would we even go about attracting their attention?”

“You might want to leave that to be.” Jocelyn said with a devil’s smirk.

…

“I hate this.” Alex said. 

“You’re doing great, darling.” Ella called from above.

“I hate this.” He repeated.

“Alex.” Alex looked up at where Jesper was calling him from. “Do it for the ladies.”

“Shut your face, Carstairs.”

“They’re coming! Everybody hide.”

Alex turned to a pillar in the empty warehouse. 

“Not you, Alex!” Ella hissed. “Get back on your mark.”

Alex frowned and stood on the “X” Ella had drawn on the floor of the abandoned building. 

At that moment, Matilda came in sprinting and jumping along the walls, tailed by an Iblis demon.

“You’re dead, little girl. You have no idea what kind of enemy you get ma— Oh, what have we here?”

Alex cleared his throat. He tried to lean against a pillar casually. “Hello there.” He said, trying and failing to sound seductive. 

“How is this boy Anna Lightwood’s brother?” Jocelyn whispered, her face in her hands.

The Iblis demon, however, looked closer at Alex before swooning. “A Lightwood.”

“It said Lightwood with pure…I-bliss.” Jesper said, laughing silently at his joke.

“Idiot,” Ella said with a smirk.

“Lightwood boy, what brings you to these parts?” The Iblis demon inquired.

“I’ve come in hopes for a favor.”

The Iblis demon looked delighted. “What will you give me in return? A kiss?!”

Alex cringed, “No, not a kiss. That’s how my grandfather Benedict killed my grandmother and got turned into a worm.”

“Oh, of course, I’ve seemed to have forgotten about that bloody demon pox.” The lblis demon said. 

“Consider yourself lucky.” Ella mumbled under her breath. Her father never let her forget it. She shuddered at the lecture he had given her, Alex and Jesper when they were thirteen. Ella had seen brighter days than those. 

Alex cleared his throat. “In return, I grace you with my presence.”

The Iblis demon licked it’s lips, “Sounds good to me.”

Alex shifted uncomfortably. 

“I was wondering… Erm, do I call you Iblis?”

“Call me ‘darling’.”

“I think I’ll call you Iris.”

The demon gushed. “My very own pet name! My sisters will be dead with jealousy!”

Alex looked at Ella, confused. Ella gestured at him to keep talking. 

“Erm, alright then. I was wondering if you knew of any other Iblises?”

“Ibli”

“Right. Ibli coming into this dimension?”

“Hm, I can’t say I do.”

“Oh.” Alex said, making a show of looking disappointed.

“Wait!” The Iblis called. “I think I may know something about a distant relative of us Ibli coming a couple of days back.”

Alex smiled uneasily. “Fascinating!” By the Angel, he’s a horrendous actor. Ella thought.

“And, do you by any chance, know if they’re powerful?”

The Iblis hissed, “that they are. But my species of Iblis is much better. We are more civilized. Why, these Ibli are so easily manipulated and would do just about anything to please their master.”

Master?

“Is it always the same master?” Alex asked.

“No, it can be anyone.”

“Interesting. And do you think these Ibli, theoretically, could make all of the lights of the institute, let’s say, go out?”

“Of course.”

“Even if demons aren’t allowed to enter hallowed grounds?”

“These Ibli can do it from a distance.”

That was all the information Ella needed. She got up from her crouched position along the ceiling beams and unsheathed her seraph blade. She stepped forward, only to get pulled backwards.

“What the heck, Carstairs?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to kill the Iblis.”

“You can’t kill Iris.”

“Who?”

“The Iblis.”

“Well, I’m not going to let her kill my parabatai.”

“Hey,” Ben said. “Don’t assume Iris's gender.” 

“I’m not going to let Iris kill my parabatai.” Ella mended and jumped off the ceiling beam.

“Say, where’s that purple-eyed brother of yours?” The Iblis demon asked Alex, seconds before Ella’s blade plunged into it’s heart.

…

“That was a bit ruthless.”

“Would you rather it kidnap you and make you it’s husband?”

“We could have reached a level of compromise.”

“Alright then,” Ella said, wiping her blade on the grass. “Next time, you handle the situation as you deem fit.”

“I will.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

The other’s heads whipped back and forth as the parabatai brawled. 

Ella stared at them, “don’t you have something better to do?”

“No, we really don’t.” Said Jesper.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get out of here and figure out what we’re going to do next. I don’t like the feeling of this place.”

Jesper made a joke about what Alex had just said while Ella fell into the back of the line with Ben and Matty.

“What do you make of this?”

Ella shrugged, “I’m not one for solving riddles.”

Ben furrowed his eyebrows. “Iris said that it shouldn’t have been a spontaneous attack; though you may not like it, Ella, I can’t help but think that Owen disappearing was more than a mere coincidence.”

“I’ll have to agree with Ben.” Matty said, “It’s not like Owen to run off like that.”

Ella didn’t want to think about what had taken her nephew, not one bit.

“Who would do such a thing?” Ella asked.

“Somebody with a grudge against your family.”

Jesper, Alex and Jocelyn stopped joking around and laughing and turned to the others.

“A grudge against the Herondales?” Jocelyn asked.

Ben shook his head. “A grudge against the Grays.”

“Belial.” Ella whispered.

“Why would they attack Ella’s family and not Belial himself? No offense to your family, El, but why bother attacking the Herondales when Belial has made it clear he doesn’t care about them?” Jesper said.

“Because they are important to him. Don’t you remember?  He could have possessed James, and walked earth again, had he let him.” Matty said.

Ben nodded. “The Herondales have the ability to grant him freedom.”

“Well, this is just wonderful.” Jesper’s tone dripped sarcasm. “How many enemies must Belial have? A thousand? A million? How will we ever find who's behind this?”

They were all silent for a moment.

“Oh,” Alex said, more to himself than anyone else. “It might not be that hard.”

“What do you mean?” Matilda asked. 

“Lesser demons don’t have the mental capacity to orchestrate something like this. What happened yesterday night, that wasn't an attack; it was a threat. Why else would someone go to the lengths of kidnapping the direct descendant of Belial, just to leave him somewhere in the institute unharmed and easily found? Moreover, why not attack all of the Nephilim? All lesser demons think about is feeding; they’re not evolved enough to feel things such as revenge. This is the work of a greater demon.”

Alex’s realization was left in the air. Nobody wanted to voice the possibility that this could be the work of a Prince of Hell. Ella exhaled. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t talk about it.

“Does anybody know of the Princes of Hell? Which ones could potentially have contact with our earth?”

Jocelyn nodded. “It can’t be Sammael, Lucifer or Lilith. They’ve been banished and will continue to be banished for many years to come.”

“We’ve collectively decided it can’t be Belial.” Jesper said.

“Mammon hasn’t come in contact with Belial for years. Azazel doesn’t really care; he’s not one to start drama. Astaroth— ” Jocelyn said. 

“What about Belphegor?” Ella interrupted quietly. 

Jocelyn furrowed her eyebrows, “There haven’t been sightings of him in over a century.”

“But is it possible for him to come back now?”

“Yes, I would think so. Why do you ask, Ella?”

Ella swallowed. “Belial met James in a realm he stole for Belphegor. Belial is the reason he hasn’t been seen in so long; he’s the one that wounded him greatly enough that he hasn’t come back yet.”

They all looked at her gravely.

“Well,” Ben said at last. “I think we have our suspect.”

Tagging: @celias @lightlady599

[fe8meta]

Grado’s Propaganda

Actually, you know something the game doesn’t dwell on enough? The use of propaganda against Eirika and Ephraim. And interestingly, the game seems to imply that only those two got smear-campaigned. The most we hear about Innes is more like awed praise with a tinge of fear, but it’s nothing like Amelia’s perception of the twins and Rennac’s reaction to encountering Ephraim.

Eirika’s Side

Amelia-Eirika recruit convo:

Amelia: I’m a Grado soldier. I’m here to stop the princess of Renais…

Eirika: Huh? You’re with Grado?

Amelia: And you’re Princess Eirika? But the commander said Eirika’s a cruel and merciless fiend…

Eirika: What? No, I’m… …I don’t know what Grado’s officers have been telling you, but… Our two countries are at war, so I suppose they can say what they want.

Glen-Eirika’s convo:

Glen: I come here on the direct orders of the emperor. I’m to bring to justice the rebel army leader who’s been terrorizing Carcino. It’s you, Eirika. They say you’ve been murdering innocents.”

Eirika: What? Wait! What do you mean? I…

Glen: [...] I do not believe revenge could drive a woman like you to such depths. And yet… here you are in Carcino with a small army under your command. And the emperor tells us that you massacred everyone in Port Kiris.

Aias’ dialogue:

Aias (start of chapter): This Princess Eirika supposedly defeated General Glen.

Aias vs. Eirika:

Aias: Ah... So here you are. The princess Eirika. Eirika: Who? Aias: You're not at all what I had expected... I would test the arm that bested Glen.

Ephraim’s Side

Amelia-Ephraim recruit convo:

Amelia: Wha-what are you going to do to me?!

Ephraim: Calm down. As long as you don’t try to stab me, I won’t do a thing to harm you.

Amelia: You lie! You’re a liar! Everyone knows about Prince Ephraim of Renais. He’s a beast who attacks [襲いかかる, can also translate to “swoops down on” or “advances on”] any woman he sees…

Ephraim: …..Right, this has gone far enough. I am not going to hurt you. If you’re scared, throw down your weapon and run away. But…If you’re willing to listen, I’d like to ask for your help. You must realize this whole war is madness, right? Something is wrong in Grado.

Amelia-Franz recruit convo (Ephraim):

Amelia: I… B-but… I’ve heard Prince Ephraim takes female prisoners and uses them as palace slaves. If I surrender, will I be forced to work in the palace, too?

エフラム王子は敵国の女性をつかまえて無理やり後宮に入れてしまうって･･･ (I heard that Prince Ephraim forcibly takes women into his seraglio...) あたしが降伏したらエフラム王子に襲われたりしない？ (If I surrender, will I get assaulted too?”)

Rennac-Ephraim recruit convo:

Rennac: I-I thought so. You’re the one they call the Beast of Renais… I’ve heard tales of how you’ve looted and pillaged your way across the land…

If you accept Rennac’s offer:

Rennac: You..aren’t going to stab me once I’ve taken your money, are you? Once the fighting’s all done, you won’t burn me at the stake or anything? Ephraim: …What rumors are these people spreading about me?

If you decline Rennac’s offer:

Rennac: What? You’re lying now, aren’t you? Rumor has it you’ve stored away so much gold, you groan from its weigh…

The twins initially accept the malicious rumors spread about them as an indication that things are amiss in Grado, and as a natural part of war. On the other side, Gradoans who actually encounter them look at them for 2 seconds and realize “Wait, they’re nothing like the rumors.”

These blatant falsehoods make it hurt all the more when they (Ephraim especially) discover that Lyon is behind the war. At best, Lyon has no knowledge of the propaganda or tried to argue against it to no avail; more realistically he was complicit; at worst he actively contributed.

Eirika gains some relief in the belief that Lyon is the selfsame person and that he, in his own words, was “too weak” to stop this war. Even after she learns that he was actually consumed by the Demon King, she can at least attribute his actions to the Demon King’s manipulations.

There’s a touch of irony that the peaceful Eirika is accused of being a vengeful slaughterer ordering the massacre of civilians... when it turns out to be the once-peaceful Lyon doing it at the Demon King’s behest. Accentuated all the more when she very nearly falls to the same temptation Lyon did in her ending.

Also of interest is that the people who hear the falsehoods about her (Glen and Aias) pretty quickly go “Hmm... Things aren’t adding up here.” Amelia immediately sees from Eirika’s eyes that she hates this whole affair. Glen actually starts to believe the lie (or at least pretends to in order to draw out the truth), though Innes quickly sets things straight by calling him a dumbass. Meanwhile, Aias looks at Eirika and goes “She beat Glen? Big doubt.” (He gives the benefit of the doubt, at least.)

But then again, people who knew Lyon wrote off the rumors that Lyon was at the helm of the war, and look how that ended up. I once asserted that Eirika was probably next in line after Lyon in terms of “best royal to get possessed by Fomortiis”. The possibility she could’ve ended up the way the rumors spoke of is a very interesting train of thought indeed.

In Ephraim’s case, seeing that Lyon has been consumed by the Demon King fuels him with the excuse he wants to pin the malicious rumors on... only to have it pulled from underneath him when Lyon reveals himself to be the “real deal” and claims that the grandiose “Demon King possession” earlier was just an act. Not only that, it comes a chapter after Ephraim defended Lyon’s integrity and emphatically proclaimed that Lyon was not himself.

The rumors about Ephraim have severe implications. Not only do they make him out as a hedonistic molester, he is also labeled a pillager and looter -- despite making a point to avoid villages during his initial “campaign” into Grado as to not draw them into conflict. His eagerness to fight and hone his skills has been morphed into the visage of a man who craves senseless violence and kills for the sake of killing... not unlike a certain man named Valter, who already has some parallels to Ephraim.

So in Chapter 18, Ephraim’s reaction is disbelief. “Wha– Why?! Why would you say such a thing?!” Because in that moment, Lyon has claimed responsibility for every misfortune Ephraim has encountered: resurrecting Vigarde and using his corpse as a puppet to initiate the war, the death of his father and the ruin of his country, Selena’s meaningless death in defense of the crown, Orson’s betrayal and the resurrection of Monica’s corpse, and the slander about him.

Lyon has gone from a kind, caring, studious friend slightly lacking in self-confidence to a ruthless warmonger who has propagated complete slander about a person who he claimed was (and is) his friend... all while insisting he’s the same exact Lyon he’s always been.

Yeah, no, I don’t think so.