#implied mental illness
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No Way to Move On...
āGlad to hear youāve been enjoying the warmer weather, Myra,ā Francene said, crossing her ankles. āNow, I know we had an appointment set for next week, but you called to move up our session. Is everything alright?ā
I folded my hands in my lap, considering for a few seconds before I replied. āI think Iām in love.ā
Francene grinned, brown smile lines creasing her face. āWell, isnāt that lovely.ā She picked up her pen and notepad from the table beside her without lookingāshe always made an effort to make our conversations feel natural, not like she was observing me clinically. āDo you want to talk about it?ā
I nodded, picking absently at my nails. Iād thought about how I wanted to explain the situation on the train ride here, but the details still caught in my throat. What if she thought I was crazy? Iād never brought anything like this to her beforeāusually we focused heavily on managing my anxiety, or the stresses of living far away from my family. This wasā¦ not the same.
āMyra?ā
My gaze flicked up and caught her expectant gaze. Iād let the silence hang.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āRight, sorry. Just figuring out where to start.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDonāt worry about getting it exactly right. You can just say what youāre thinking.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds, then slowly releasing. No way around it, I just needed to get it out.
āOk, yeah. So, like I said, I think Iām in love. Iām in love with my roommate, Lucas. I might have mentioned him a few times before. He moved in a few days before me, was subletting from someone I didnāt really know. We were awkward at first, but now we get along fine. When I turn on the TV, heāll come sit and watch with me, or sometimes we just settle on the couch and talk for hours.
Weāre a lot alike, in some ways. His family also lives pretty far away, all the way out in Portland, and he almost never sees them. He works from home, does some sort of computer job, and feels a little isolated because he doesnāt really interact with coworkers much. We like the same genre of musicāclassic rockāand we both love to put on Led Zeppelin while we clean. Weāre both left-handed but neither of us own left-handed scissors so we always rock-paper-scissors whenever something needs cutting out. Our politics are similar, we share similar feelings about faith, or rather, lack thereof, and weāve always agreed easily about how we want to take care of our space.
Itās not like weāre identical or anything, like, heās a night owl and Iām a morning person, and he is very introverted and I love meeting new people, but thereās nothing so glaringly different between us that we have tension about it. Itās genuinely nice to come home from the grocery store, or therapy, or a walk in the park, and know that heāll be around the house, and we can hang out.
He sometimes goes out of his way to do nice things for meālike heāll clean the apartment while Iām gone or turn off all the lights before he goes to sleep because I always forget. Heās sweet, and polite about it. If I bring up the things he does for me, heāll just shrug and say it makes him feel good to do things for people, especially stuff that makes their life easier. Once he even said that hard work doesnāt count if itās for people he really cares about.ā
My face flushed at the memory. Lucas, in the kitchen, with a dish towel slung over one shoulder, grinning casually. His stormy gray eyes had twinkled a little, and his smile made my stomach flutter. Heād cleaned the mountain of dirty dishes even though it was my turn to do it and primarily my messāhe never seemed to contribute to the pile of sauced-up plates and coffee-ringed cups. I hadnāt thought anything of it then, but now, knowing that he really didnāt use the kitchen, didnāt need toā¦ Well, it makes sense.
āIāve really grown close with him in the months that Iāve lived there. Heās helped me get past feeling isolated here, since he so often seeks me out. He makes me feel like a valuable presence at home, which has boosted my confidence. I get this rush of comfort and happiness when I think about spending time with him. Thatās new for me. Iām pretty sure that Iām really falling in love with him.ā
I couldnāt keep gushing about how lovely he wasāor rather, I could, but that wasnāt the reason Iād scheduled this session with Francene.
Her face had its practiced, neutral expression in place, the one she reserved for listening and withholding judgement. That careful detachment was the reason I decided to stick with her as my therapist when I moved out here. Her reactions and feelings didnāt cut me off when I started to open up. The uncreased, slightly-head-tilted look relieved the tension that usually coiled around my shoulders, and the words just flew.
As I watched her, she nodded once, an invitation for me to continue. I squeezed my hands together, tight, then picked up my story.
āThereās basically only one thing that frustrates me about Lucas. He has no interest in the exterior. What I mean is, he never wants to go out anywhere or go do anything. Iāve invited him to parties, restaurants, I asked him to come to a Joan Jett concert with me, but no matter what it is or how much Iām certain heād enjoy it, he always says no. Heās polite about it, for sure, but he literally always rejects the offer. And he doesnāt like when the exterior becomes the interior. Whenever I have friends over, he always hides away in his room and will not come out. Heās literally never met any of my friends or our neighbors, even if I invite him to hang out with us and no matter how much I emphasize that heās welcome to join our plans.
Like I said, Iām more of an extrovert, so I guess heās just a tiny bit anti-social sometimes or easily overwhelmed by new people and situations, but itās still frustrating to try to share my life and invite him in and to meet with such strong resistance. Like, would it kill him to go to the park just once?ā
I winced at my choice of words. Across from me, Franceneās pen was scratching along the lines of her notepad, picking up in pace when she saw clocked my reaction.
āHow does it make you feel that he doesnāt agree to these things?ā she questioned.
āI mean, I get it now. Itās difficult, yeah, but like I said, I really do like him, so I can usually overlook it.ā
If I wanted this to work out, Iād have to overlook it.
Francene cleared her throat softlyāIād let the silence hang for longer than I meant to. āSo, you came to see me about your relationship with Lucas?ā
Time for the moment of truth. āSort of. On Monday, something happenedā¦ā How was she going to react to this? The thought tightened my throat.
āWhat happened on Monday, Myra?ā A glow of concern colored her brown eyes.
āMy landlord came over, with someone looking to sublet. A very nice girl from Seattle.ā
āAh. So you didnāt know Lucas wasnāt going to continue subletting there?ā
āNot exactly. I asked Andyāthatās my landlordāabout Lucas leaving, since he hadnāt said anything to me. And Andy got a little upset with me. He asked me if Iād been lying, if Iād had another person living there with me even though Iād only paid for my room, not both.ā
His face had been rather red, and spittle gathered on the lower bristles of his mustache as heād blustered about rental agreements and improper use of his property and a dozen other things that were lost on me. The girl whoād come with had stared at me openly, confused and suspicious but not unsympathetic as the tirade dragged on.
āI managed to explain to him that I hadnāt brought Lucas to live thereāheād moved in before me, after all. Weād never met before I arrived here that first day. Andy asked to speak to āthis Lucas characterā, so I led him to Lucasā room, and knocked on the door. He was almost certainly homeālike I said, he never goes out much, but like usual, his bedroom door was shut. I realized while I was knocking that Iād actually never been inside of his room or seen what it looked like inside.ā
Francene was frowning at this point, and she flipped to a new page of notes.
āAfter a minute or so of knocking, Andy just loudly announced that he was coming in, and he opened the door. Andā¦ā My breath hitched. āAnd the room was empty. I donāt just mean he wasnāt there; it was completely empty. Four blank white walls, a hardwood floor, and a thick layer of dust on the single windowsill.ā
The pen stopped scratching. I squeezed my eyes shutāit was too late to take it back.
āAndy turned on me, and glared, and said he didnāt appreciate me wasting his time with pranks. He asked me to give him some space to show the apartment and waved me off. I tried to explain but I really couldnāt think of anything to say. What explanation was there? My roommate who was apparently a squatter had moved out all of his things and vanished overnight without me noticing? It just didnāt make sense.
So I went into my room, and sat on my bed, and just sorta spaced out until I heard the front door slam shut behind Andy. I crept out of my room and wandered from room to room, trying to find anything that belonged to Lucas, a note heād left or a missing sock heād forgotten or anything at all, but there wasnāt anything. It was like heād never been there at all.ā
I spared Francene the details of how hard Iād been crying as I ended up in his empty room and curled up on the dirty ground for hoursāit wouldnāt matter in just a few minutes anyway.
āI was shocked, confused. I couldnāt imagine him disappearing without saying anythingāwe were closer than that, or at least I had thought so. After a bit, I made up my mind to reach out and ask him what had happened, but then I remembered I didnāt actually have his phone number. We saw each other constantly, so it just somehow never came up. Weād left each other occasional notes on the fridge, although there werenāt any still stuck on there when I looked for them.
So I didnāt know how to get ahold of him. Itās not the dark ages, so I decided to try social media. Who doesnāt have any socials these days, right? I went on my phone, opened Facebook, and typed in his name. Lucas Planck. A small handful of accounts came up, but I felt like I knew enough to figure out which one was his. I clicked through a few until I found one that I thought was his, even though the profile picture was just some sunflowers. It listed the hometown as Portland, showed what college heād gone to, and had a few liked posts about Metallica and some old articles about developments in computer science. I opened the old profile pictures and found one that had his face in itāand sure enough, it was him.
I sent him a friend request and a quick message asking him if we could talk. I didnāt get a response right away, and I was feeling really anxious, so I just wanted to see if he came up anywhere else online. I typed his name into my browser, and the first few things that popped up were about other Lucasā, but near the bottom of the first page of results, there was an article from a few years ago. It was published in the local paper here, and I opened it in a new tab.ā
It was a mistake, bringing this to Francene. I could feel myself shaking as I spoke, and I didnāt want to see her reaction to this. I didnāt want her to knowāsheād call me crazy. Iād sound crazy. But there was no way out, nowāI couldnāt leave without an explanation, and there was no explanation for everything Iād said so far except the truth.
āLocal manās body discovered in apartment after several daysāthe smell alerted neighbors. Thatās what the article was called.ā I swallowed hard. āJust underneath was a picture of Lucas, and a short article about how a neighbor smelled something horrible and called the police, and they discovered a body that had been dead for some time, after a head injury from an accidental fall in the bedroom had caused bleeding in the brain, or something like that. It saidāthe article claimedāthat the dead man was Lucas. My Lucas. My roommate Lucas. And it was his picture on the article.ā
My knuckles were white where I squeezed my fingers together.
āI almost threw up, reading the page over and over. And thenā¦ And then Lucas walked into the room from the hallway, frowning.ā
Heād been paler than usual and sighed heavily as he came into view. With a slow nod, heād settled down on the far end of the couch, cross-legged as always, and pointed at my screen.
āHe apologized that Iād found out like this, that heād meant to tell me. I was pinching myself to see if I was having a nightmare, but I wasnāt. Lucas stayed very calm as he explained to me that the article was correct, that that was him, and that heād been drifting around this empty apartment, unseen and unheard, until Iād shown up, and I saw him. He said as far as he could tell no one else had been able to see him, and I seemed nice and it felt so good to just have someone to talk to, and so heād hidden the truth.ā
His eyesāor what looked like eyes to meāhad watered, and heād swiped at them with the back of his sweater. Would his sleeve have felt wet if I touched it? Could I have touched it? I realized that weād never physically touched, never brushed up against each other, never even come close. He had pushed up his thick curls where they flopped over his left ear, and under it, I could see an angry, inky-purple bruise, swollen and yet obviously indented. Saliva had coated my tongue, and Iād swallowed down the bile that crept up my throat.
āI didnāt know what to do, pinned in place by the surrealness of what was happening. He didnāt seem to know where to go from there either, so we just sat, silently, for what felt like hours. Then he stood, and walked out of the room, and said if I wanted to, we could talk about it in the morning.
I didnāt sleepāI couldnāt. I just kept thinking about how much I cared about him, and then lurching feeling Iād felt when I saw the empty room and thought heād vanished and I didnāt know how to reconcile that my close friend, the person Iād started to really fall in love with, was dead and had been the whole entire time.ā
I was staring into my lapāI didnāt want to know what Francene was doing, and I couldnāt really hear her pen over the roaring blood in my ears.
āI thought Iād have time to figure out what I wanted to do, but my landlord texted me yesterday that the girl from Seattle had agreed to sublet, and sheās moving in next week. Sheās moving into Lucasā room. I canāt tell her weāll be sharing our home with a ghost that she might not even be able to see, but I also donāt want to stop being able to hang out with Lucas. Iā m not... Iām not afraid of him, of what he is, and somehow, I still want him there. I still feel that connection. But sheās coming, and Iām going to lose that, and I donāt know what to do even do. Itās not like I could move outāLucas couldnāt come with. And I canāt stop her from coming. But what can I do?ā My voice got louder and louder as the questions spilled over.
When I finally paused and looked up, Francene was staring. She was trying hard to keep her face clear of emotion, but underneath, the fear and disappointment and concern were obvious.
āAlright, Myra, why donāt we slow down and talk a little more about this? Is there anything you havenāt mentioned about when you see Lucas, or how he acts toward you?ā
She spoke very gently, and even though the word never crossed her lips, I heard it plain as day. Crazy. Francene had decided I was crazy, delusional, insane. This conversation wasnāt going to help me figure out how to stay with Lucas. Sheād diagnose me with something or other, ship me off to a facility or drug me into a hazeāI couldnāt bear it.
I pushed up from the leather seat, grabbing my purse and quickly going to the door. āThanks for listening, Francene. That helped, really. I feel better about it. I think Iām good now. Iām gonna go,ā I gushed as I opened the door and hurried into the hall.
I heard her footsteps coming after me, but I just called out to the receptionist, asking her to cancel my future appointments, and hustled out the front door as fast as possible, briskly making my way out onto the busy sidewalk towards our apartment.
Lucas and I would just have to come up with our own solution. Heād listened to me all evening yesterday while I rambled, and heād even suggested I try talking to Francene, since she usually helped me so much when I was upsetāhe couldnāt have known how sheād react.
Weād figure it out, somehow. Weād figure it out together. Itāll be hard, but that doesnāt matterāI care about him. I might even be in love.
#hollyanne writes#original fiction#ghost#romance#love#therapy#death tw#implied mental illness#fiction#short stories#creative writing#original characters#open ending#mental health#major character death
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This TikTok made my day.
#actually mentally ill#cvtt!ng#mentally fucked#self h@rm#self mutalition#sh cvt#tw self destruction#tw self destructive behavior#tw self h4rm#s3lf harn#suic1de#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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I fight so hard not to kill myself right now I swear
#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd safe#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd#actually borderline#actually bpd#kinda depressing#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#depressing life#depressing quotes#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#depressiv#suic1de#sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#sad thoughts#sadgirl#sad quotes#sadnees#i'm sad#sad grl
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I really need a fucking break, or a gun
#bpd stuff#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd symptoms#mental problems#mentally fucked#actually borderline#borderline blog#bpd problems#bpd struggles#intrusive thoughts#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui implied#mentally tired#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#major depressive disorder#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#depressing quotes#depressing shit#bpd#depressing life#depressiv#bpd things#bpd thoughts
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please just let me kill myself.
It will be the first good thing Iāve done for myself in a long time.
#depressing shit#mental health#tw depressing thoughts#mental illness#tw depressing stuff#depressiv#depressing life#sorry for being depressing#self destruction#self h@rm#tw self destructive thoughts#tw sucidal ideation#tw self destructive behavior#tw relaspe#tw self destruction#tw selfhate#tw sui ideation#tw s3lf harm#tw sui implied#su1c1d10#kms#kinda depressing#this is depressing#self deprecation#dissociation#mentally insane#mentally exhausted#coping mechanisms#mentally unstable#mentally drained
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Mental illness is crazy cause Iām just sitting here trying to enjoy my day off and I randomly get a thought that i want to kill myselfā¦ why canāt it ever just be normal and easy
#alone with my thoughts#mentally exhausted#mental health#depressing shit#leave me alone#mental illness#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts#feeling alone#tw depressing stuff#tw sui ideation#tw selfhate#tw death#tw sui implied#depressing life#kinda depressing#this is depressing#sadgirl#sad thoughts#mood swings#spiralling#ihatemyself#ihavenothingaheadofme#i hate it here#i hate this#im exhausted#mentally tired#mentally fucked#mentally drained#mentally unstable
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*gives Tim all of my mental and physical illnesses because it's midnight and I'm bored*
The second one is lowkey nsfw by the by.
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Tim, eating breakfast with the family when all of a sudden his ribs decide to feel like they're folding in on themselves:
Tim: Damn, I really gotta kms
Bruce, not looking up from his morning paper: Your therapist said not to say that.
Tim: Damn, I really gotta... eat.... cookies?
Bruce: *Approving hmm*
Dick: Someone in this family goes to therapy?
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Tim's body deciding to simultaneously cramp and set itself on fire mid getting his back blown out:
Tim, reaching behind him: Shit, stop, pull out...
Bernard: OhmyGod, sorry, are you okay?
Tim: I'll live, just let me...
Tim: *lies face down on a pillow.*
Tim: Roll me over if I run out of oxygen.
Bernard: Okay :(
Bernard: I'm sorry :(
Tim: I'm okay, Bear, promise. Could you just like, grab painkillers and stuff?
Bernard: And heating pad, and snacks?
Tim: Yes. I love you
-
Tim, staring at the suspiciously ballerina-shaped figure that keeps whispering to him and changing:
Tim: Yo, chat, you seeing this?
Damian, glancing in his direction: Hm. No.
Tim, who just needed confirmation he was hallucinating: Cool, thanks.
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Tim, still sitting at the batcomputer after 6 uninterrupted hours: Man, I'm hungry...
Jason: Eat then.
Tim: Nah, I'm good, I haven't earned it yet.
Jason: Fym earned it? If you're hungry, go eat.
Tim: No, it's cool, I haven't even gotten the shakes yet.
Jason: THE SHAKES?? GO EAT!
Tim: No, it's cool, I don't even have a headache yet.
Jason: TIM!
Tim: No, it's cool, I'm not even hungry anymore.
Jason: GO FEED YOURSELF.
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Tim, through comms, on patrol: I'm gonna head over to Main Street real quick.
Babs: What? Why? That's not on your route tonight.
Tim: Yeah, but if I don't my head will explode and my whole family will die.
Babs: I see... Well, tell Bruce hi if you run into him.
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Tim: I'm glad my addiction genes went to caffine instead of alcohol, I could've been fucked up.
Jason: Real.
Bruce: Are you both prone to addiction?? And you didn't tell me?? :((
Tim, with a full-size fridge full of energy drinks in his room:
Tim: You didn't know?
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#tim drake#bruce wayne#bernard dowd#timbern#batfam#damian wayne#dick grayson#barbra gordon#jason todd#chronic illness#mental illness#hes literally me#cw ed implied#its no longer midnight when im posting this but I'm still bored and tired#dc
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#I wanna fucking off myself Jesus Christ#why did nobody help?#Iām so tired of them saying āwell we didnāt know#THERE WERE SIGNS LITERALLY EVERYWHERE#bpd#mental health#actually bpd#mental illness#bpd shit#actually borderline#bpd shitposting#bpd problems#bpd mood#bpd meme#parental abuse#tw sa implied
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#depressing shit#sh#sh things#tw sh joke#self destruction#actually bpd#bpd#bpd stuff#su!cidal#su1c1d10#su1c1dal#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui implied#su1c1d3#su1c1d4l#i wanna kms#i cant take it anymore#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#sadgirl#girlblogging#shitpost#self destructor#tw depressing stuff#tw s3lf hate#i hate my self#self sabotage
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when you are very bad for years, people no longer worry.
you become invisible, a ghost.
I can leave now, everyone has forgotten me.
#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd safe#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#actually bpd#bpd#depressing life#kinda depressing#depressiv#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#depressing quotes#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#suic1de#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied
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I feel like I have nothing to ask, I simply would love to hear more about them fucked up mermaid and murderer
And I would absolutely love to tell you about them, Tin.
This AU takes place somewhere vaguely in the Pacific Northwest (circa. 1970s-80s) in an isolated fishing town along a storm-wracked coast.
Fisheries in and around the bay have collapsed due to extreme winter weather patterns + overfishing + an oil spill from a tanker run aground down the coast, leaving most of the bay's inhabitants to live pretty much hand-to-mouth off contaminated fish in recent years.
get ready for LORE (and more drawings but mostly the LORE)
general warning: this is pretty long
The "story" as it were, kicks off when Gem finally gets fed up with another fisherman in the area, Grian, over continued conflict about ownership of fishing grounds in the mouth of the bay.
She orchestrates his death (with the eager assistance of Scott and Impulse) out at sea and passes off his death as a tragic accident in the winter swells with her being the unfortunate finder of his remains.
And it works.
See the thing is: Gem has a history of causing disappearances. It started with some accidents with out-of-town poachers. She would chase these people off and one or two would just slip overboard and happen to drown. It wasnāt her fault and besides they deserve it. But things start to escalate from there. Poachers become outsiders become fellow townspeople. Grian is someone Gemās known for years, whose friends are tangentially her friends or acquaintances. His death is a cold-blooded murder driven by hatred and frustration. This time something is different about what she's done and Gem knows it.
But Gem is a reputable and well-known person. Her prices are fair, she drives poachers out of the bay and maintains order around the pragmatic fishing ground policy that undoubtedly helps everyone to survive.
She is the type of person to look to for guidance when things get hard because she can make those hard choices. So how on earth could it be her fault?
No one is wiser until Grian's funeral brings an old friend into town who is more than a little suspicious about the circumstances of his death.
Scar was one of Grian's crewmates when they did trawling much further south. They split when Scar took up (illegal) whaling and Grian moved into the bay.
As an outsider, Scar isn't so swayed by the goodwill the town has around Gem's name. He's no detective but for the sake of an old friend, he might as well try.
In this AU, mermaids are social mammals part of the Hominidae family that went back into the ocean similar to Cetaceans. They live in matrilineal family groups or in any other female-led organization of pods and have a very "survival-oriented" global culture (with regional variation).
Pearl is a lone mermaid whose pod lived in the bay until they were starved out by the collapsing fisheries. PNW mermaids are more territorial than other ecotypes and value strength over anything else. Pearl's inability (read: unwillingness) to oust other pods for better fishing grounds and the loss of one of her pod members summarily lead the other two to abandon her.
Without a pod to help her, hunting enough in her dwindling territory has been difficult and lonely, leading her to slowly starve just as the humans in the bay have begun to.
She took to trailing fishing boats to steal from their catch, which is how she met Gem who was mid-throwing some unfortunate soul overboard.
They have an interesting relationship.
Gem is enamored with Pearl at the halfway point between a person and a large apex predator. She loves the way Pearl needs her to live and the way Pearl, as a social creature with no pod, craves her attention. It's thrilling to have a predator at her beck and call like this and, in turn, to be so desperately needed. She also loves the way Pearl doesn't look at her like she's dangerous (the way Scott and Impulse have begun to when they think she doesn't see them). Her interest in Pearl seems to be leaching into something more than just wildlife admiration. She's begun to learn the mermaid language just to talk to her. For what? Who really knows. Meanwhile, Pearl is hungry enough to eat just about anything Gem throws her (including human bodies) and desperate enough that she lets Gem get much closer than many humans in this area have ever been to a mermaid. (They even touch, scandalous for mermaids.)
It's skewed for sure. From Gem's perspective, they've got something special going on. From Pearl's... not so much.
This being Secret-Life based, you can imagine how this story ends...
Bonus piece: Pearl and her old pod.
IN GENERAL, Biological females are generally larger with a set of rotated tusks protruding from their lower jaw for dominance displays. Biological males are commonly smaller and more agile, with more dexterous hands due to decreased adipose tissue distribution over their bodies. (They actually have 3 biological sexes and tons of social gender variation but that's a talk for another time). Pre-cultural awakening, these pods would form around a biological female and their harem for reproductive purposes. That female would then protect the harem from other females looking to "steal them" or their territories (like horses but reverse-style). In modern times, these pods are often composed of groups of friends/related family members as sort of "platonic life partners" and stealing other pod members is seen as a very archaic sort of thing. Territory stealing, however, is still up for grabs.
#fishgutsau#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#grian#goodtimeswithscar#impulsesv#scott smajor#wild life smp#shinyduo#implied gempearl#tagged for blog curation purposes#tried out a new color technique with the sketches and im so happy about it ngl#looooooong ramble about this au because its very developed and i love it very much#also the mermaids have SO MUCH LORE due to my unique mental illness but the post is long enough as it is#i even covered reproduction its never mentioned in this au but trust me there is no stone unturned#tw murder#tw cannibalism??#also this fits nowhere but i wanted to say etho-mermaid is like the hottest guy around in mermaid society#they (read: joel and bdubs) love his lone wolf swagger#pearl on the other hand has a thing for the color orange#my art#squawk talk#rough work
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you know it's bad when you don't even want to listen to music anymore
#actually mentally ill#tw sui vent#suic1de#tw sui ideation#sui mention#tw sui implied#tw depressing thoughts#mentally fucked#vent post#i dont know why i bite
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Its so funny that Arin and Sora have shown to have significantly better emotional intelligence than any of the ninja from all of the old seasons combined. "You should be taking care of your mental health" and "yeah saving the world is upsetting! no wonder you're having stress dreams" oh my precious children. You are surrounded by a teen dad with massive self-worth issues, the only one of two people who remembers the genie incident and also turned into the sea once, guy who's died like 3+ times and committed genocide under mind control, and a child soldier who's been living the hard knock life since age 2.
I hope to god you two are prepared to witness the most mentally unwell behavior you've seen in your entire teenage lives. You think you've already seen how bad it can get now? Fools. Just wait until you get a mission involving the Departed Realm
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#lego ninjago#arin#sora#ninjago ninja#text post#departed realm#i wouldnt say 'prepare to become the team therapist' because lets be frank#its not even a matter of 'they wouldnt make the kids their therapists'#its literally just bc they would literally never get to that point#because that implies talking about their problems. like an normal person#what do you mean that random fits of rage or fcking off into oblivion from time to time isnt healthy#this is how i cope! this is a perfectly reasonable way to cope#arin and sora are watching the most mentally ill people alive fray at the seams before their eyes#theyre like the monkey side-eye meme warily looking at each other like are#are they good??? are they good.....#then they hit the departed realm and suddenly all that morro & ghost cole trauma FLOODS back#and theyre just like OH THEY ARE NOT GOOD
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I have been sad since a child, but now im running out of distractions and that scares me .. i scare me . This could be it for me..
#cvtt!ng#$elf h4rm#depressing shit#complex ptsd#mental illness#i wanna kms#childhood trauma#self mutalition#self h@rm#adhd#narcissism#tw depressing thoughts#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#anxi4ty#anxeity#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#sadgirl#sad poem#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#suic1de#i need him#tw cvt#tw self h4rm#self mut1lation#narcissistic father#kill my mind
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live footage of me in my room š¼ą½²ą¾Żą»ź°ą¾ą½² Ć Ė Ćļ½”ź±ą¾ą½²ą§§ā” ×Ö“

#dollyadara#addy vents#this is a girlblog#the apothecary diaries#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#the apothecary diaries meme#maomao#just a girlblog#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#aspd thoughts#actually autistic#gloomy coquette#just girly things#girlblogging#femcel core#actually mentally ill#gloomy dollcore#crazy ex gf core#gloomy dollette#yandere#tw shblr#tw sh implied#gloomy#girlblogger#girl blogger#yanderecore#yanblr#girlblog#bpdblr
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