#im tired i need to go to bed now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

katabay · 1 year ago

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L'APPEL DU VIDE

okay so. jack! jack. what a collection of guys. the overlap between jack and the beanstalk and jack the giant killer, though. that sure is something! sometimes king arthur is there, which always takes me by surprise.

this. specifically. is an idea I've been kicking around. jack and the beanstalk is not a story I've ever enjoyed, as a kid it was probably my least favorite to read. as an adult, I was INTENSELY fascinated by reading j.g. ballard's the drowned giant. I think about it frequently, and somewhere during a re read of it, I ended up revisiting jack.

combining different versions of jack into one character is not a new concept, but it IS a fun one! the version I've been assembling together plays less with the fun elements of a jack story (and adjacent folklore stories), and focuses more on the potential for tragic elements with the addition of the usual grim and jagged narrative edges that I personally enjoy.

jack with the backstory of the devil and the three golden hairs, only jack doesn't find love, he's TIRED, all he wants to do is go home, but there isn't a home to go back to. what is the point of being born lucky if this is what it gets you? jack the giant killer, only he doesn't want to kill giants, jack who saw a body of a giant when he was a small child and cannot bring himself to do as a king commands. jack, who climbs up the beanstalk and stops halfway to look down. etc.

to go back to the drowned giant real quick, both to set the tone about jack seeing the body of a giant as a youth, and also because I've been haunted and obsessed with this excerpt of it ever since I read it:

J. G. Ballard, The Drowned Giant

anyway! this was originally like, a two illustration concept to get out of my system. however. I'm halfway through outlining a narrative. so. maybe it will also be several illustrations and also comic.

#original tag #generic medieval tag #WAHOO. alright.#i dont have any additional commentary in the tags. reading the drowned giant years ago Did Something To Me #and it connected with whatever it was that made me dislike the jack and the beanstalk narrative (i know what it is. its just not really #all that relevant to this post. also im tired. its time for bed)#through the power of Why Not. i will now. turn it into a story????#i think. its definitely been taking up a lot of space in my mind lately #the only thing stopping me from turning it into my Side Project to do when i need a break from doing Bad Governance edits #is that. ive run out of notebooks???? to start a new story in. and i am Old and i only outline stuff by hand #eventually i'll get to daiso and pick up some new ones and work on this for real. until then. im going to continue to write about it #in my personal journal where i dump all my thoughts and ideas into

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months ago

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#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 3 #yakuza series #yakuza 3 #yoshitaka mine #snap sketches #i was thinking about all the weird mine variants that exist and theres more than i thought there was #i JUST wanted to do suit variants tho none of the extra okinawa and new year rggo cards. and a bare variant #because i can ...... also cause i needed to exercise the knowledge that his plushie's undies are white SOMEHOW #funny enough the only time i like properly assembled mines colors was on my kirin mine sheet so yay for a semiproper color sheet #anyway. the grey suit's inspo'd from the date scene in y3- that shot with him and kanda #i chose a brown tie to act as an in-between transition from blue tie to gold tie #the rggo cards are forever funny to me but while i was drawing these i remembered that for some reason #with the newest card mine's sleeve is. white ???????? its white .#i only realized this after posting these to twitter so if you saw this there first and are like 'girl his sleeve changed color'#Thats Why <- literally no one is thinking that #ok i have nothing else to say probably im gonna eat one more bowl of pasta then go to bed #i keep mentioning kirin mine so maybe ill doodle one of my things with that tomorrow ..#if not i have stuff i wanna draw tomorrow so if im not tired after grocery shopping Theres That To Look To #ok bye its pasta time <- has decided to make pasta my personality for june #oh my god wait its june now jesus christ. yeah happy pride month ive finally drawn mine again #ok bye bye pasta's calling my name

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cali · 1 year ago

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darkraiiiiii

#art #i was brewing up a complicated picture in my head too many factors intermingling and i put a requirement on myself that i would need to #feel a certain mood to create said picture cuz only then would it feel good and true but it was an impossible to achieve mood #and it made me miserable for a week i went to bed as soon as possible everyday to skip to the next one but today i woke up at 2am #and thought well maybe i should just draw something simple that i like it doesnt have to be high concept #so its just darkrai!!!! cuz its such a cooly! and its made out of shapes ive enjoyed drawing recently #smoking fire plumelike stuff u kno...#and i got to try out the spraypaint thing again cuz there was stuff i realized i coulda done better after the red 3 head hybrid pic #so i wanted to do it again. do u like these- with the spraypaint rendering? i will make more of them no matter what u say #but im about to go to bed now. i started the pic at 11am and finished at 8pm so 9hrs spent?! well the stenciling takes a long while in pain #i did the spraying in ms paint again and then composited it in paint net like usually.#also im typing much because the combination of coffee (which i try to make special and rare for me so it hits more cutely)#+ the euphoria that drawing gives me makes me talkative. but now.- ! im tired !! goodnight #pokemon #darkrai

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pcktknife · 1 year ago

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#being suicidal without wanting to die is the worst thing in the world. my curious nature keeps me alive cause I need to know what #happens next despite the loop but I really am so tired and ive noticed how it gets more difficult for me to enjoy and do things #im not confined to my bed but i sleep alot more and i never leave my room and im just here now im just here.#i wont let that kill me so theres nothing to worry about but its is stressful to have the thoughts every now and again #annoying at best stressful at worst #im only thinking like this cause its reallyyy lateill be better in the am going to bed now niiiite <3 #kae.txt

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abluescarfonwaston · 7 days ago

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When my job required me to be in person: Oh no I'm sick! I have to use my time off because I can't work. 😡

When my job lets me work from home: Oh no I'm sick! And I still have to work cause I can work from home. 😡

#its just like a sore throat and mild cough +tired #if i was Sick proper id have used my sick leave #but at least i cant get anyone sick over teams #but im 20 minutes into work and already want a nap #if my boss wasnt out on vacation #or i had any coworkers #you know id be back in bed now #this is not going to be a productive day #working from home has its draw backs for sure #like snow days arent a thing #a considerable part of me wants to just put in the sick time and be like #if HE NEEDS ME <- points at my manufacturing worker I'LL ANSWER #EVERYONE ELSE. GO AWAY

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neonbodyache · 27 days ago

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I’m exhausted, low on hope, and due to my condition I haven’t been able to go for a walk, see my friends, sit in the sun, or experience a pain free moment since the beginning of this year, and even then it was touch and go, but at least I didn’t give into my worst moments. at least im still here, trucking along, long after I figured I’d be dead by now. That counts as cause for celebration, right?

Happy 25th birthday to me :’)

#Neonyaps #I’m sorry I haven’t been online I’ve been rlly going thru it. Early 20s gone. I had so much ambition and I was making something great #Now I’m rotting in a bed trying to convince myself that this is senseless random reality and not divine punishment #At least I broke thru my weight plateau but I can’t even be arsed to care im just. Tired.#I need a silver lining outside of survival and the gratitude I’ll have if I ever beat this. If it’s even beatable.#I’m looking so desperately that I hope it comes soon

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figofswords · 9 months ago

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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

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pink-lemonadefairy · 4 months ago

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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee #i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to #it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar #space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder #but i will surviveeeeeee #counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim #fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and #watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself #i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting #can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i #i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day #not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully #i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up #i hope everything goes well #anyways bye bye #♡ dear diary…

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which-qsmp-egg-would · 2 months ago

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I am officially taking another break!

Of course, this doesn't mean I'm going to dissappear for several months. It just means there won't be any polls for a little while! Who knew, running a gimmick blog while working and dealing with personal problems would be so taxing?

I'm thinking that this break will either last the month, or the rest of the year. it depends on how I'm feeling.

I'm really excited to relax and just work on OC stuff for a while!

I hope everyone has a great day :DDDD

#not a poll #announcement #I've been meaning to take this break for a while #for the first half of october and the end of september I wasn't even scheduling polls in advance #i would do them like the hour before #which isn't sustainable for me #of course i then scheduled everything from the 12 to today in one sitting #whiiiich is when I'm writing this right now lol #it's midnight for me at the time of writing this and I am so tired lol. but i needed it out of the way #uuuh i lost my train of thought #im going to bed #not when YOU see this. I'm probably bouncing out of my seat excited for halloween when you see this.#animated gif

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genekies · 6 months ago

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tag vent

#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas #and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when #we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates #just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night #ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me #ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but #she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening #he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by #people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again #i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends #and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer #than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they #helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that #they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient #im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk #tag vent #vent in tags

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em-b-sides · 6 months ago

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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually

#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match #maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya #oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig #OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2 #amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe #wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here #i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready #oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets #i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma #my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff #so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk #i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff #also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao #k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see

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orcelito · 3 months ago

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I'm going through another character arc

I'm becoming worse

#speculation nation #negative/#im mostly just being dramatic. still very deeply unhappy n #*right now lol #not in breakdown territory at least. just. tired.#yes this still has to do with the damned tub. i need to be in bed in less than half an hour.#first round of drano did nothing. i prodded at it with the snake. nothing. then had to scoop drain the tub Again.#if there is still no progress after the next adminsitration of drano im just going to try to wipe the tub (to remove drano residue)#and just take another foot bath shower. :/#might try to eat smth while i wait rn. it's messing up my routine but #just gonna have to deal with it i guess. i dont want to stay up Too late.#sigh. whys this gotta happen to me man.#my curse for what. having ungodly thick hair???#mark my words. after this im buying a drain guard.

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nickbutnodick · 4 months ago

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sleep doesnt exist but i animated a fish even more so life is okay

#my older brother complained that it was too choppy and i needed to make it 24 fps #i nearly killed him #guys my sleep is so fucked #like i go to bed at 8 pm and then sleep terribly only to wake up at 5:45 am #i genuinely cannot fall asleep at 8 ive been trying to for like 2 weeks now #but every morning i have to wake up before six so i dont miss the bus #i have no free time anymore #i have an assignment due on saturday night #but im booked all day tomorrow and all night tonight #im literally so tired all of the time #three pigeons in a trench coat

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spotsupstuff · 1 year ago

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#spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #-shows up two hours after my schedule time- sup guys i went to zoo today n i talked SOOO much shit to the birds it was Neat #ostrich guy first hissed at us n then he sat down n started yawnin up a storm so we sat on the curb n chilled with him for a twenty #those things are so fuckin big i was intimidated yet still smth deep within me needled me to try n jump his neck #oh the slavic need to throw hands with birds...#like... 5 or 6 hours outside im fuckin slain....... anyway fun thing a bird ask came into my inbox just now ill get to ya prolly tmr #imma go to bed i think im so tired

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seventh-district · 6 days ago

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#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw negative #cw health issues #‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You #like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want #‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT #if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it #dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache #i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting #food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick #but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault #everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough #for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need #cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either #i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position #my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired #god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain #That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night #the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis #well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify #and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but #there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.

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jinxed-sinner · 6 months ago

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Saying it again, you can just not like things. You don't need to make posts and Twitter threads about why you don't like a specific ship. I don't like Lucilith because I've ruined Lilith for myself but you don't see me complaining about it. I don't like Charlastor either but you don't see me complaining about it.

This goes for everything, by the way, not just ships. I don't like how some people characterize Lucifer and Alastor (especially Alastor in regards to his asexuality, because I myself project how I experience being aroace onto him) but the only reason I'd complain about it is if someone either got their characterizations objectively wrong, or if someone was doing ragebait, and even then I only start complaining publicly if I'm having an impulsive day.

(Just for clarity's sake, at worst my Alastor analyses are me clarifying Alastor’s character to people who act like he's a black and white villain, which he isn't. I don't analyze Alastor to complain about mischaracterization, I analyze Alastor because media literacy is dead so I take it upon myself to clarify the nuances of Alastor as a character. Also hes just a really fun character to analyze)

Anyway my point is you're allowed to just not like something. You don't have to shit on people because you don't like something. This goes for everything, the block button exists for a reason. You can mute and blacklist tags and phrasea for a reason. Please use the block button and post filtering systems thank you

#hazbin hotel #thats one of the reasons i hate twitter so much. tagging etiquette SUCKS over there #this is born from someone on twitter complaining that charalastor is bad because alastor is manipulating charlie btw #on that subject if you really need to complain about something DONT PUT IT IN THE MAIN TAGS #basically if you dont like the content someone creates just block them #not that hard #anyway i might add to this tomorrow but for now. i am tired as fuck and need to get some sleep #like im genuinely struggling to stay awake so. off to bed i go

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