#im tired and rambly but i will think more about this!

[mxlfoydraco]

How would you compare and contrast your opinions on Snape and Draco? I do wholeheartedly agree with everything you said in your post about Snape, but I found it interesting that you acknowledge/headcanon that both him and Draco have terrible ways of dealing with their struggles (I'm thinking about your posts on Draco's repressed gayness/toxic masculinity), yet it seems you like Snape less than Draco. Is it that this "hardened and closed off character" never found "softness and empathy" in his entire canonical lifespan? Is it that he carried the toxic coping mechanisms into adulthood? Is it that he had worse trauma/circumstances than Draco? Is it simply vibes? Obviously you're free to like or dislike either of them as much as you want, I was just curious to hear more about this because find a lot of your takes pretty fascinating in general 💖

Hi, thank you for the kind words first of all!

I think you hit it right on the head with carrying toxic coping mechanisms into adulthood! With Draco, we see by the end of HBP that he's disillusioned by the darkness he got himself into, he doesn't want it so much that even Harry's aware of it. In contrast, Snape at that age and forward was a willing death eater, his disillusionment is when he realizes that he's put Lily in danger but... say it was the Longbottoms, the prophecy he passed on was still about a baby.

I do think that being stuck in Hogwarts with constant reminders of his worst memories and regrets was terrible in halting his development but he's still petty and needlessly cruel to children he holds power over, you know? That's harder for me to deal with. I personally don't see Draco remaining as the spiteful angry child he was by that age.

This isn't a moral judgement though! I very recently cried over Voldemort in a fic and he was still himself, messed up characters are interesting as hell too. I'm just endlessly more fascinated by Draco's potential! I love unpacking his ingrained prejudices and internalized toxicity, exploring the bounds of morality/forgiveness/amends/personal responsibility with him.

I do acknowledge that Snape's upbringing is markedly harsher compared to Draco, but I also think that he did have softness and empathy with Lily. I wish that could've been enough but love doesn't cure all you know? Draco's a loved and spoiled child but look at him. I guess at the end of the day I just have more empathy for him and sympathy for the person he could be.

I like your description with "simply vibes" though because yeah, a part of it is also that! Sometimes a character just clicks with you. I can see how Snape's fans would feel similar for him like the way I do for Draco. He's just their person. I think I could think about this more, because my love for Remus and Sirius influence me too but see Draco with Hermione and Ron! It feels like it does boil down to Draco still being a child.

[crispyjenkins]

i don't know who needs to hear this today but the jedi would not be body-shy

especially during the war. some would be uncomfortable, sure, or even heavily dislike being nude and/or bathing around others, but the point of that is that would be respected as a choice. there is a very large difference between preferring not to be nude around others, for cultural religious or personal reasons, versus being ashamed. nothing you can do can convince me jedi would be ashamed or embarrassed of their or others' bodies.

why. why would the jedi think nudity undignified. why would they turn their noses up at it as unseemly, rather than a choice and preference

[blighted-lights]

the way that ravage clearly loves and idolizes megatron genuinely makes me ill you have no idea. like this is someone who clearly still adores megatron despite being betrayed by him. and on the other side, the way megatron interacts with ravage in this entire scene is so,,, he's tired. he isn't at all what ravage idolizes and he knows that. he doesn't know what he is anymore but he's not the valiant savior ravage needs and wants him to be, and he Knows it.

ravage is clinging to a version of megatron that no longer exists (or maybe never did in the first place, and only existed in ravage's mind) and megatron no longer has anything to cling to so he rejects his past completely. these two make me ill.

[lilithsbadomen]

Arcane fans need to have the term "media literacy" taken away because I swear they treat every criticism of the show as somehow an intelectual failing on the poster's part. Most people i've seen criticizing Arcane s2 did in fact understand it. They just thought it sucked for valid reasons.

[ganondoodle]

11 pm again and i spent my evening trying to draw but ending up deleting like 5 attempts again and i just want to cry

cant even get upset anymore, i just sit here looking at the wasted time and just kinda going 'yeah ... what did i expect' and the tears are already back :I

[napping-sapphic]

hehe~~ i am soooooo sleepy and tired right now :3 i’m all cuddled up in all my blankets🥰 so warm and comfy hehe…..oh and also my past is haunting me😐

[kheprriverse]

Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me

[songofsaraneth]

i wish i could get normal sleepy like you read about in books where people just slowly get more tired as it gets later and then go to bed and fall asleep. instead i only experience Worse Sleepy, where i get slammed by an utter wave of dizzy exhaustion 3 times a day at random, during which i am capable of falling asleep within 10 minutes, but outside these (which last about 15 min each) i go RIGHT back to being either Awake or Awake But Shaking. and if i try to fall asleep in either of those states instead it takes me over an hour.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.

I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?

i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...

[soupmanspeaks]

you ever wonder if the Glamrocks's face tracking acts up when they look at Glamrock-Freddy, like they'll look at his face, and the recognition will register as Freddy, but their systems for whatever reason or another think that there is a face overlapped on Freddy's do you think they see two small squares next to him, at his side, roughly child sized, but no one is physically there.... right...?

[dubuthecat]

with the whole thing going on about the clip of philza talking about how well hes treated in the QSMP compared, i think it shows how well made QSMP is. Quackity curated this thing, you can tell how much time and care and energy he is spending on this by the engagement by the players. I dont watch his content personally, mainly focused on techno and phils pov in d/smp. but the fact that QSMP has a functional admin team - multiple twitter accounts for each language group, account for and in game way to view fanart. literally the creation of a live translation mod. not to leave out the amazing egg actors/admins. the whole thing works so well in synergy to create a good environment for the streamers and fans to thrive. 

quackity created a playground for these players to have fun in truly, and the fact that there is a story with the setting itself, lets them create stories within the parameters.

i think in the realm of the eng speakers, i think who he chose to join were very interesting choices at first, but now i understand that he chose people who were kind, respectful and were willing to engage

edit: adding more cause this is just me writing my thoughts now.

the point of a role-play server is to act, and to have that you need an environment to foster characters. qsmp having already a backstory just allows the creators to react within the narrative of the world/setting. the streamers dont have to worry about scheduling their own things and making sure people turn up. one of the great things about role-play servers is that you can become invested in multiple peoples perspectives and stories and the idea that there is a main character is kinda harmful, but the fact that all of them arrived at the “same time” and without much knowledge lets them build their own narrative n foothold as a character.

additionally, i think the addressing and kinda like “aftercare” is important after an intense interaction is something that needs to be emphasized. like the incident with forever and foolish, forever messaged foolish to make sure hes alright and addressed the audience that it was all ok n rp.

[mellowmaidenhairs]

i think ppl who are super online or into fandom should watch/read/etc something without ever touching fandom discourse or making aus or shipping characters just like every once in a while

[thedrotter]

not-yet-dead-person

silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww

(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)

i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!

the head circles are there for emotional support

very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.

(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)

usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.

according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it

the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!

Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.

background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!

for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway

that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it

[blighted-lights]

someone needs to grab me by my neck and stop me from making a meta post about idw soundwave and the cassettes and about how his insistence that they are equals (or at least some of them are equals) is in direct contradictory with how he actually interacts with them/how their dynamic is written throughout idw. because as much as i do think they are generally a group that cares and relies on each other (minus ratbat, who has 0 reason to gaf about any of them and vice versa), i,,, ough. its messy.

i do not think this is a weird character writing moment, i actually think it's SUPER interesting to think and talk about. but i can't,, i shan't,,, unless ✍️👀

[scattered-winter]

made the mistake of reading through the political discussions on my big family groupchat that I usually keep muted. you must never do such a thing.

[shadowqnights]

loverman question here, how did you come up with your rewrite of katelyn? lowkey katelyn doesn’t get enough love outside of “hot strong woman” so i think it would be cool to hear how you decided her backstory and changes you made like her family, her last name, guard academy relationships, and her role in future arcs

HI I LOVE MY REWRITE/LOVERMAN KATELYN! Let's chat about her cause I'm insane.

Honestly, I think loverman!Katelyn is one of my most authentic and up-to-date rewrite depictions that I wouldn't change much of when it came down to new-rewrite stuff. I have a LOT to say about her though so this is going to be long, my bad! I'll break down like each specific explanation for things you listed here into Sections, and then anything else I think of can just slot in.

Backstory and Family Life

I think the biggest changes lay here, and I think I actually got most of the like backstory inspiration here from Garroth. They are fables for each other, warnings about how the other could have turned out. Of course, they've got significant differences, and Garroth's position as the 'heir' is far more significant for O'Khasis than Katelyn's is, but essentially I'm passionate about Garroth and Katelyn growing up as peers and equals around the same age in O'Khasis. They both understand each other, even watching each other from a distance, being raised in rich O'Khasis neighbourhoods as eldest children expected to take up the mantle of their parents' expectations and legacies. They both attended Guard Academy together, but they weren't exactly friends there.

Katelyn's parents and their personalities are somewhat borrowed from their MyStreet counterparts - Elizabeth being a sharp and cunning socialite of sorts with strong ties to the Ro'meave family, hence where Katelyn and Garroth's relationship stems from. They would see each other regularly at dinners and large-scale events. Her father Eric is a very well-renowned guard from Tu'la; he taught her how to fight. She has a number of younger brothers, one of which is still Kacey but I haven't been able to write yet. Garroth's obviously the eldest of his brothers, and they both take up a lot of duties that involve caring for their younger siblings and trying to keep them safe from the more mature burdens that come with high O'Khasis society.

I think the big reason I wanted to incorporate O'Khasis into Katelyn's backstory was so that she and Garroth could have this interesting dynamic of both understanding and hatred specifically because of that understanding. They're not confused about each other, they knew exactly why they ended up where they did, they just don't like it because it reminds the other too much of themselves. They are each other's cautionary tales. Katelyn serves as this vision of hell for Garroth where he sees exactly what kind of terror he could have become if he had stayed as a guard in O'Khasis - he could have become a significant member of the Jury, and even if Zane had not been controlling it, he still would have become an obedient soldier. He despises her because he's afraid of that person, but at the same time wants to see her free of it because he knows, just like he once had to figure out, that she deserves better and she can be free. Seeing Garroth in Phoenix Drop disgusts Katelyn because she knows that's what she could have been. She could have run away and chosen to begin a new life, but that would mean abandoning her family and abandoning her dream. She hates that he shunned his responsibilities but she still burdened hers, and now they are exactly where the other might long to be. She wishes that she could have run, too - in a way, I think it also stings to think of Garroth living an honest country life in a small distant town, not just because that's what she could have made for herself, but also because she knows that Jeffory was raised in Bright Port and very much only became a guard to be able to go home and protect that small, cozy lifestyle. Only to also be taken in by the city and lose himself there by working for Zane. She envies Garroth because she knows that so many lives were stolen by the Jury's bounds, and now even those small-town boys have become killers.

By the time they see each other as adults again for the first time, Garroth is realising that maybe he would be more useful working to enact change from within O'Khasis - whereas Katelyn is realising that while she's helping her family from within O'Khasis, she isn't actually doing any moral good and that Zane has deceived her. They were both corrupted by their superiors back home, and now strive to find any sort of identity apart from what they were Made for. Garroth was raised for nobility but strains to hold the sword; Katelyn was made into a weapon by Zane but struggles to reclaim the young girl she was prior to that. She feels satisfied that she's taken such a far turn and separated herself from her mother, but has somehow also betrayed her father in the process of trying to protect him. She has lost herself in the sword, and since there is no amount of righteousness or goodness in being wielded by Zane, she has disappointed him.

Garroth and Katelyn disgust each other because they secretly want what the other has. They are both wanting for more, but hate each other for their cravings because while Garroth is at his best, Katelyn is at her worst, and then the other way around as well. That's why I inserted Katelyn where she is. Their bond in MyStreet is equally as interesting, but I think it's so fun to explore in MCD. They contrast and complement each other so beautifully. They even looked pretty identical as babies, since hair dye is real in my rewrites, and Katelyn didn't start altering her hair until she met Ivy. I'm fairly sure somewhere in my Ro'meave family tree that they're distant cousins or something.

NOTE: I wish I could tell you that her last name has like a deep and interesting meaning but when I tell you that I really don't remember when or how I came up with it, it just happened at random when I was mushing words in my brain for the PDH rewrite roster. Her surname is La Vatris, which I guess originally I was trying to go for something French considering la, but vatris literally has 0 meaning to my knowledge in. any language. But that's her name now and I don't want to change it, I just have to deal with the fact that it means nothing and I have no idea how I came up with it. I think largely because it complements Ro'meave nicely, considering their families are so interwoven.

Guard Academy

I love playing with my little dolls at the Guard Academy. In general I think I love fleshing out how the MCD guards were at the academy because I imagine this is how gleeful Jess was when writing PDH. For so many characters, this period is treated like their awkward, vague little blip in their lives with no real significance. They went to school x2. The End. Like no. This is the juiciest time of their lives. These are teenagers-young adults with swords. I'm putting them in fantasy high school. Fuck you. The children yearn to hit each other with weapons.

The answers to your question here are actually way simpler, since Katelyn doesn't have that many academy relationships and the ones she does have were just important enough to me to want to form earlier in her life.

Like mentioned before, she knew Garroth in the academy but they weren't really friends. In fact, it's really awkward for her to see him around, despite the fact that they probably need each other. It's plain embarrassing. Garroth's in this horrifically awkward period where he's struggling to socially relate to a lot of the other kids, who aren't exactly raised to be Lords, much less told by their fathers that they'll be a king one day. She's also actually around a year younger than him I thiiiink? They have different classes and entered at different times. Ignore him for now his only purpose is for like incredibly awkward meetings and for Zane and Garte to visit to pick him up sometimes.

There are only really two relationships that mattered enough to me to like, build a foundation upon the Guard Academy. Ivy and Jeffory.

Ivy.

Ivy is Katelyn's roommate, and they get along fucking horribly. They kind of hate each other all of the time, which provides great base foundation for the future where they have this toxic yuri going on, and it becomes that Ivy is the only person she can trust to communicate with about her family because they have so much hateful dirt on each other that they either have to work together or just betray each other. God I'm trying to think of how to explain Katelyn and Ivy without talking too much.

Well firstly I think it's important and definitely not projecting to write core single-sex boarding school experiences where you hate your roommate so much that you are a little bit in love with them. I will have to do a separate post talking about Ivy at some people if anyone's interested. On a surface level, they effortlessly grind each other's gears in a way that no one else can. Pure negative vibes. Ivy is relentless obsessive energy in a way that grates on Katelyn's ears specifically - Katelyn's passive aggressive silences and snarky comments are designed specifically to piss Ivy off. They fight constantly, to the point that it's so familiar that it's welcomed. Katelyn often remarks that she has never met someone so annoying; Ivy would say the same about her, despite the fact that they have such starkly different personalities. But at the same time they endure each other - Ivy dyes Katelyn's hair and she never stops after that day. Katelyn looks out for her and undergoes a well-needed arc, just as Garroth has to, about their privilege. Ivy's obsession with the boys (and specifically Garroth) serves to alienate Katelyn as she struggles to place a name to the feeling of liking women (a gut feeling provoked additionally by the paintings of Menphia hung in the academy, if you've read Loverman).

I also included her relationship with Ivy early cause it's a really strong introduction to their future arcs. Ivy mentions off-handedly a couple of times these 'conspiracy theories' - and some of them truly are conspiracies, but others have foundation - things like O'Khasis planning to reinstate monarchy + rebellion against the Ro'meaves spreading throughout the city, even things like dissent in Tu'la - all of these things fed to her by her parents, but still challenge how Katelyn sees her home. I'll have to find the screenshots where I talked about it before, that Ivy is from a struggling small town forcibly taken into O'Khasis Alliance and has a very strong hatred of O'Khasis only to later be drawn into its luxuries and sticks incredibly close to Zane. She has a reverse arc of Katelyn, who on the contrary grows up being proud of her home but then later becomes disconnected from it. Life in the Jury is so competitive that they literally are put at each other's throats to vy for Zane's attention. They are bound together, but never exactly enemies, but never friends either. Hateful toxic yuri who have to stick together for their own benefit. Ivy keeps watch over Katelyn's family (half of which being rebels + fake their own deaths in order to hide) when she is away in Phoenix Drop. In return, Katelyn fights hard to save her life in the future. She and Ivy, as well as both of their families, are strongly interwoven with the future of O'Khasis and the Jury. Post-timeskip, they have a lot to do with those rebel rumours and Tu'la.

Jeffory.

I've written so much already I am so sorry. Jeffory is a little simpler than Ivy thank god. The reason that their relationship is so strong in the academy is literally just because I want them as closely bonded as possible. I want them to have years of friendship and sexual tension under their belt. I want it to hurt so horrifically when he dies. I want her to have to bandage up a wound that keeps on overflowing despite her best efforts, one that never stops bleeding because he is quite literally an organ inside her that she needs to live. He is her first friend at the academy and quite literally the kindest person that she has ever met. She is so fucking filled with guilt over Jeffory - not just his death, but how his life changed for the worse because he met her. Despite being standoffish and cautious (think of a puffed up stray cat showing teeth to try and protect itself), he shows her complete innocent kindness. It never breaks throughout their time at the academy - even when he is bullied relentlessly, he remains golden of heart, and sticks up for her. They are incredibly close. Sexual tension isn't really the correct word. It feels like they were holding their breath for their entire lives but the release never quite came to fruition. Their friendship was so whole and pure that it just felt like it should have been a natural next step. They were best friends and they were in love with each other for years but neither of them were ever ready.

Jeffory was very much the One good thing in Katelyn's life. If she had anything, she had him. That's why it's so important for them to meet so early in Guard Academy, to be each other's first true real friends. Good enough friends for him to refuse to go back to Bright Port just to be able to stay with her in O'Khasis. He fell for her first, very early, but when she fell for him I think she was very scared. They've kissed but never slept together. By the time she had come to terms with her feelings, he was head over heels for a darling woman he met at a tavern, and that was that! She loved him enough to support him completely. She loved him! She helped to raise Abby, like, god. That's why its so important that Katelyn has Abby in Loverman. Because she was her father's everything but that little girl still looks like her mother, a constant reminder of not only Jeffory's death, but his marriage (that you kind of accidentally assisted in breaking, by the way!). How do you even live with that. Well you don't, actually, you become the weapon that your master wants to make of you and you start blindly swinging as if that will bring him back. Jeffory is literally the symbol of a golden heart, precious purity and righteousness, and she did everything wrong. He was everything right in her world, and when he died, his "ghost" becomes a constant presence haunting her, chastising her for every violence committed for Zane's sake. She is wholly consumed with this fool's assassination mission, because if its an act of revenge and its someone else's fault, then she can't blame herself for his death anymore.

(Reluctant to fully explain everything seeing as there's so much I haven't written in Loverman yet but I'm definitely willing to talk more about their relationship if prompted!)

So yeah. It's important to me that they meet as children and grow up together. It makes his death all the more tragic and upsetting for her, and his 'goodness' kind of forces her to confront the worst parts of herself. Of which there is so much of.

Future Arcs

I've already briefly mentioned Katelyn's involvement with rebels and that she and Ivy have plans to do with O'Khasis/Jury/Tu'la post-timeskip, so I won't say much more on those until I've actually brainstormed them out fully. Those are probably the most concrete future arcs I have for Katelyn, but there's one other big change I made with significance that I wanna yap about.

MAGICK. Honestly giving Katelyn fire magick I think was one of my best decisions and I don't really know fully where it came from, just that I wanted it. Partially, it was for her to be Aphiah's teacher and for them to study both of their magicks together. In another way, it's a very literal/visual way to address Katelyn's anger. It's a literal take on her title as the Fire Fist, in which people only think that her hits produce sparks, but in reality it is fire. It provides a good contrast with a number of characters, like Abby who is implied to inherit a similar power from her mother, aforementioned Aph, and also separates her a little from Garroth in terms of raw talent. It is unpredictable and took her years to be able to control it to the point of safely wielding in battle, and even so has to use gloves + weapons to contain it. It reacts actively to Aph's magicks. It serves as a rough patch during Guard Academy where she has a very self-isolating Frozen-type arc where she is afraid to hurt anyone, and even injures Jeffory just because she got too happy with him. It's a cruel thing, that forces her to be stiff and unfeeling because any energetic emotion, anger or excitement, will start a fire, especially during hormonal teenage years. It also opens up an interesting conversation about the origin of magicks in my MCD rewrite and the certain levels of magicks. The most distrusted of which being Godspeak, the first form of magick discovered prior to the Golden Age (birth of the Divine Warriors), but also closely followed by the properties held by Katelyn and Aph, fire and light respectively, which can be used to not only heal/accelerate the growth of the land, but also to burn. Abby's would also fall under that category, that being ice that's canonically scarred Katelyn in Loverman before. So her magick is definitely a great way to talk more about that and I'm so keen to develop that further in her future arcs.

[Fun fact being that forms of Godspeak are incredibly rare, and include things like hypnosis in the form of mind control or memory-play. If that rings a bell for any other magick user :) ]

Oh my god okay I need to stop here I think I'm about to pass out sorry if any of this is worded weird I'm about to fall asleep but I suddenly got plagued with the need to answer this ask. I finally found the words. And like as always if anyone wants more clarification on a specific point they find interesting feel free to ask or even dm! You can tell I like to talk about MCD + Rewrite clearly. Have fun and god please tell me your thoughts on anything.