#sorry you guys this is the brand now. just yapping.

[shadowqnights]

loverman question here, how did you come up with your rewrite of katelyn? lowkey katelyn doesn’t get enough love outside of “hot strong woman” so i think it would be cool to hear how you decided her backstory and changes you made like her family, her last name, guard academy relationships, and her role in future arcs

HI I LOVE MY REWRITE/LOVERMAN KATELYN! Let's chat about her cause I'm insane.

Honestly, I think loverman!Katelyn is one of my most authentic and up-to-date rewrite depictions that I wouldn't change much of when it came down to new-rewrite stuff. I have a LOT to say about her though so this is going to be long, my bad! I'll break down like each specific explanation for things you listed here into Sections, and then anything else I think of can just slot in.

Backstory and Family Life

I think the biggest changes lay here, and I think I actually got most of the like backstory inspiration here from Garroth. They are fables for each other, warnings about how the other could have turned out. Of course, they've got significant differences, and Garroth's position as the 'heir' is far more significant for O'Khasis than Katelyn's is, but essentially I'm passionate about Garroth and Katelyn growing up as peers and equals around the same age in O'Khasis. They both understand each other, even watching each other from a distance, being raised in rich O'Khasis neighbourhoods as eldest children expected to take up the mantle of their parents' expectations and legacies. They both attended Guard Academy together, but they weren't exactly friends there.

Katelyn's parents and their personalities are somewhat borrowed from their MyStreet counterparts - Elizabeth being a sharp and cunning socialite of sorts with strong ties to the Ro'meave family, hence where Katelyn and Garroth's relationship stems from. They would see each other regularly at dinners and large-scale events. Her father Eric is a very well-renowned guard from Tu'la; he taught her how to fight. She has a number of younger brothers, one of which is still Kacey but I haven't been able to write yet. Garroth's obviously the eldest of his brothers, and they both take up a lot of duties that involve caring for their younger siblings and trying to keep them safe from the more mature burdens that come with high O'Khasis society.

I think the big reason I wanted to incorporate O'Khasis into Katelyn's backstory was so that she and Garroth could have this interesting dynamic of both understanding and hatred specifically because of that understanding. They're not confused about each other, they knew exactly why they ended up where they did, they just don't like it because it reminds the other too much of themselves. They are each other's cautionary tales. Katelyn serves as this vision of hell for Garroth where he sees exactly what kind of terror he could have become if he had stayed as a guard in O'Khasis - he could have become a significant member of the Jury, and even if Zane had not been controlling it, he still would have become an obedient soldier. He despises her because he's afraid of that person, but at the same time wants to see her free of it because he knows, just like he once had to figure out, that she deserves better and she can be free. Seeing Garroth in Phoenix Drop disgusts Katelyn because she knows that's what she could have been. She could have run away and chosen to begin a new life, but that would mean abandoning her family and abandoning her dream. She hates that he shunned his responsibilities but she still burdened hers, and now they are exactly where the other might long to be. She wishes that she could have run, too - in a way, I think it also stings to think of Garroth living an honest country life in a small distant town, not just because that's what she could have made for herself, but also because she knows that Jeffory was raised in Bright Port and very much only became a guard to be able to go home and protect that small, cozy lifestyle. Only to also be taken in by the city and lose himself there by working for Zane. She envies Garroth because she knows that so many lives were stolen by the Jury's bounds, and now even those small-town boys have become killers.

By the time they see each other as adults again for the first time, Garroth is realising that maybe he would be more useful working to enact change from within O'Khasis - whereas Katelyn is realising that while she's helping her family from within O'Khasis, she isn't actually doing any moral good and that Zane has deceived her. They were both corrupted by their superiors back home, and now strive to find any sort of identity apart from what they were Made for. Garroth was raised for nobility but strains to hold the sword; Katelyn was made into a weapon by Zane but struggles to reclaim the young girl she was prior to that. She feels satisfied that she's taken such a far turn and separated herself from her mother, but has somehow also betrayed her father in the process of trying to protect him. She has lost herself in the sword, and since there is no amount of righteousness or goodness in being wielded by Zane, she has disappointed him.

Garroth and Katelyn disgust each other because they secretly want what the other has. They are both wanting for more, but hate each other for their cravings because while Garroth is at his best, Katelyn is at her worst, and then the other way around as well. That's why I inserted Katelyn where she is. Their bond in MyStreet is equally as interesting, but I think it's so fun to explore in MCD. They contrast and complement each other so beautifully. They even looked pretty identical as babies, since hair dye is real in my rewrites, and Katelyn didn't start altering her hair until she met Ivy. I'm fairly sure somewhere in my Ro'meave family tree that they're distant cousins or something.

NOTE: I wish I could tell you that her last name has like a deep and interesting meaning but when I tell you that I really don't remember when or how I came up with it, it just happened at random when I was mushing words in my brain for the PDH rewrite roster. Her surname is La Vatris, which I guess originally I was trying to go for something French considering la, but vatris literally has 0 meaning to my knowledge in. any language. But that's her name now and I don't want to change it, I just have to deal with the fact that it means nothing and I have no idea how I came up with it. I think largely because it complements Ro'meave nicely, considering their families are so interwoven.

Guard Academy

I love playing with my little dolls at the Guard Academy. In general I think I love fleshing out how the MCD guards were at the academy because I imagine this is how gleeful Jess was when writing PDH. For so many characters, this period is treated like their awkward, vague little blip in their lives with no real significance. They went to school x2. The End. Like no. This is the juiciest time of their lives. These are teenagers-young adults with swords. I'm putting them in fantasy high school. Fuck you. The children yearn to hit each other with weapons.

The answers to your question here are actually way simpler, since Katelyn doesn't have that many academy relationships and the ones she does have were just important enough to me to want to form earlier in her life.

Like mentioned before, she knew Garroth in the academy but they weren't really friends. In fact, it's really awkward for her to see him around, despite the fact that they probably need each other. It's plain embarrassing. Garroth's in this horrifically awkward period where he's struggling to socially relate to a lot of the other kids, who aren't exactly raised to be Lords, much less told by their fathers that they'll be a king one day. She's also actually around a year younger than him I thiiiink? They have different classes and entered at different times. Ignore him for now his only purpose is for like incredibly awkward meetings and for Zane and Garte to visit to pick him up sometimes.

There are only really two relationships that mattered enough to me to like, build a foundation upon the Guard Academy. Ivy and Jeffory.

Ivy.

Ivy is Katelyn's roommate, and they get along fucking horribly. They kind of hate each other all of the time, which provides great base foundation for the future where they have this toxic yuri going on, and it becomes that Ivy is the only person she can trust to communicate with about her family because they have so much hateful dirt on each other that they either have to work together or just betray each other. God I'm trying to think of how to explain Katelyn and Ivy without talking too much.

Well firstly I think it's important and definitely not projecting to write core single-sex boarding school experiences where you hate your roommate so much that you are a little bit in love with them. I will have to do a separate post talking about Ivy at some people if anyone's interested. On a surface level, they effortlessly grind each other's gears in a way that no one else can. Pure negative vibes. Ivy is relentless obsessive energy in a way that grates on Katelyn's ears specifically - Katelyn's passive aggressive silences and snarky comments are designed specifically to piss Ivy off. They fight constantly, to the point that it's so familiar that it's welcomed. Katelyn often remarks that she has never met someone so annoying; Ivy would say the same about her, despite the fact that they have such starkly different personalities. But at the same time they endure each other - Ivy dyes Katelyn's hair and she never stops after that day. Katelyn looks out for her and undergoes a well-needed arc, just as Garroth has to, about their privilege. Ivy's obsession with the boys (and specifically Garroth) serves to alienate Katelyn as she struggles to place a name to the feeling of liking women (a gut feeling provoked additionally by the paintings of Menphia hung in the academy, if you've read Loverman).

I also included her relationship with Ivy early cause it's a really strong introduction to their future arcs. Ivy mentions off-handedly a couple of times these 'conspiracy theories' - and some of them truly are conspiracies, but others have foundation - things like O'Khasis planning to reinstate monarchy + rebellion against the Ro'meaves spreading throughout the city, even things like dissent in Tu'la - all of these things fed to her by her parents, but still challenge how Katelyn sees her home. I'll have to find the screenshots where I talked about it before, that Ivy is from a struggling small town forcibly taken into O'Khasis Alliance and has a very strong hatred of O'Khasis only to later be drawn into its luxuries and sticks incredibly close to Zane. She has a reverse arc of Katelyn, who on the contrary grows up being proud of her home but then later becomes disconnected from it. Life in the Jury is so competitive that they literally are put at each other's throats to vy for Zane's attention. They are bound together, but never exactly enemies, but never friends either. Hateful toxic yuri who have to stick together for their own benefit. Ivy keeps watch over Katelyn's family (half of which being rebels + fake their own deaths in order to hide) when she is away in Phoenix Drop. In return, Katelyn fights hard to save her life in the future. She and Ivy, as well as both of their families, are strongly interwoven with the future of O'Khasis and the Jury. Post-timeskip, they have a lot to do with those rebel rumours and Tu'la.

Jeffory.

I've written so much already I am so sorry. Jeffory is a little simpler than Ivy thank god. The reason that their relationship is so strong in the academy is literally just because I want them as closely bonded as possible. I want them to have years of friendship and sexual tension under their belt. I want it to hurt so horrifically when he dies. I want her to have to bandage up a wound that keeps on overflowing despite her best efforts, one that never stops bleeding because he is quite literally an organ inside her that she needs to live. He is her first friend at the academy and quite literally the kindest person that she has ever met. She is so fucking filled with guilt over Jeffory - not just his death, but how his life changed for the worse because he met her. Despite being standoffish and cautious (think of a puffed up stray cat showing teeth to try and protect itself), he shows her complete innocent kindness. It never breaks throughout their time at the academy - even when he is bullied relentlessly, he remains golden of heart, and sticks up for her. They are incredibly close. Sexual tension isn't really the correct word. It feels like they were holding their breath for their entire lives but the release never quite came to fruition. Their friendship was so whole and pure that it just felt like it should have been a natural next step. They were best friends and they were in love with each other for years but neither of them were ever ready.

Jeffory was very much the One good thing in Katelyn's life. If she had anything, she had him. That's why it's so important for them to meet so early in Guard Academy, to be each other's first true real friends. Good enough friends for him to refuse to go back to Bright Port just to be able to stay with her in O'Khasis. He fell for her first, very early, but when she fell for him I think she was very scared. They've kissed but never slept together. By the time she had come to terms with her feelings, he was head over heels for a darling woman he met at a tavern, and that was that! She loved him enough to support him completely. She loved him! She helped to raise Abby, like, god. That's why its so important that Katelyn has Abby in Loverman. Because she was her father's everything but that little girl still looks like her mother, a constant reminder of not only Jeffory's death, but his marriage (that you kind of accidentally assisted in breaking, by the way!). How do you even live with that. Well you don't, actually, you become the weapon that your master wants to make of you and you start blindly swinging as if that will bring him back. Jeffory is literally the symbol of a golden heart, precious purity and righteousness, and she did everything wrong. He was everything right in her world, and when he died, his "ghost" becomes a constant presence haunting her, chastising her for every violence committed for Zane's sake. She is wholly consumed with this fool's assassination mission, because if its an act of revenge and its someone else's fault, then she can't blame herself for his death anymore.

(Reluctant to fully explain everything seeing as there's so much I haven't written in Loverman yet but I'm definitely willing to talk more about their relationship if prompted!)

So yeah. It's important to me that they meet as children and grow up together. It makes his death all the more tragic and upsetting for her, and his 'goodness' kind of forces her to confront the worst parts of herself. Of which there is so much of.

Future Arcs

I've already briefly mentioned Katelyn's involvement with rebels and that she and Ivy have plans to do with O'Khasis/Jury/Tu'la post-timeskip, so I won't say much more on those until I've actually brainstormed them out fully. Those are probably the most concrete future arcs I have for Katelyn, but there's one other big change I made with significance that I wanna yap about.

MAGICK. Honestly giving Katelyn fire magick I think was one of my best decisions and I don't really know fully where it came from, just that I wanted it. Partially, it was for her to be Aphiah's teacher and for them to study both of their magicks together. In another way, it's a very literal/visual way to address Katelyn's anger. It's a literal take on her title as the Fire Fist, in which people only think that her hits produce sparks, but in reality it is fire. It provides a good contrast with a number of characters, like Abby who is implied to inherit a similar power from her mother, aforementioned Aph, and also separates her a little from Garroth in terms of raw talent. It is unpredictable and took her years to be able to control it to the point of safely wielding in battle, and even so has to use gloves + weapons to contain it. It reacts actively to Aph's magicks. It serves as a rough patch during Guard Academy where she has a very self-isolating Frozen-type arc where she is afraid to hurt anyone, and even injures Jeffory just because she got too happy with him. It's a cruel thing, that forces her to be stiff and unfeeling because any energetic emotion, anger or excitement, will start a fire, especially during hormonal teenage years. It also opens up an interesting conversation about the origin of magicks in my MCD rewrite and the certain levels of magicks. The most distrusted of which being Godspeak, the first form of magick discovered prior to the Golden Age (birth of the Divine Warriors), but also closely followed by the properties held by Katelyn and Aph, fire and light respectively, which can be used to not only heal/accelerate the growth of the land, but also to burn. Abby's would also fall under that category, that being ice that's canonically scarred Katelyn in Loverman before. So her magick is definitely a great way to talk more about that and I'm so keen to develop that further in her future arcs.

[Fun fact being that forms of Godspeak are incredibly rare, and include things like hypnosis in the form of mind control or memory-play. If that rings a bell for any other magick user :) ]

Oh my god okay I need to stop here I think I'm about to pass out sorry if any of this is worded weird I'm about to fall asleep but I suddenly got plagued with the need to answer this ask. I finally found the words. And like as always if anyone wants more clarification on a specific point they find interesting feel free to ask or even dm! You can tell I like to talk about MCD + Rewrite clearly. Have fun and god please tell me your thoughts on anything.

[19catsncounting]

I Got Really Into Anti/Proship Discourse And Read +30 Academic Studies - My Findings

(It’s a Yapfest but the whole post is a very long essay and study on morality and fiction and children’s safety and rape culture with a fuckton of freely accessible academic articles and resources on the subject, and I want to talk to other people about it. For a shorter abstract with all the articles and more easily ignored yapping, see my shiny new Carrd:)

It’s been a little shocking lately to have certain discussions with some parts of fandom. I spoke about shipping/harassment and how that contributes to the death of fandom on TikTok assuming that younger folks are just really, really intense about preventing sexual violence, but the more I saw the words “morally wrong” and “disgusting” and “addiction,” the more I thought about this guy-

That’s Jerry Falwell, and I fucking hate this dead guy. You see, Jerry Falwell was a preacher who hated porn, feminism, and homosexuality. And I'm seeing his rhetoric and reworked quotes a lot.

Jerry would say stuff like:

“Pornography hurts anyone who reads it - garbage in, garbage out.”

“Someone must not be afraid to say ‘moral perversion is wrong.’ If we do not act now, homosexuals will ‘own’ America!”

Jerry wanted people to believe that it’s possible to see so much sexual content that it warps your sexuality, because he was gay and wanted to think that was due to thinking about gay sex too much. Jerry did not have a lot of evidence to prove that homosexuality was harmful, so he relied heavily on how “morally distasteful” it seemed to be to suburban Americans.

I spent the majority of my teen years arguing against Jerry’s rhetoric for the right to live as a lesbian online, and I never thought I’d see morality rhetoric in people I’m otherwise very politically aligned with. And I definitely never thought fandom of all things, in all its beautiful subversive glory, would seriously start advocating for censorship, anti-porn, and to consume fanwork with moral purity.

So, I’d like to have a deeper discussion on it, both here on Tumblr and on TikTok, but that does mean checking a few things at the door:

Personal feelings decide your personal life. What you feel is valid for you, not anyone else.

In general, things that do not cause direct and undeniable harm should not be broadly prohibited just because they’re weird or distasteful to the majority of folks. Ex. Loitering does not cause harm and is a tool of systemic oppression.

The discussion of “fictional CSEM” is the most inflammatory fork of this and it is often used to derail these kinds of conversations. This is all I will say on it - the legal status of explicit visual depictions of minors is muddy. In the US, there is just one dude in Utah who pled guilty for possessing explicit lolicon he bought by mail order without also possessing CSEM with real children, and explicit writing about fictional minors has been settled as protected free speech. Dedicated organizations from the NCMEC to Chris Hansen have asked that fictional content is not reported as CSAM as it is not actionable and clogs up finite resources. 90% of NCMEC reports were not actionable last year. There are studies suggesting that virtual CSEM or other non-victim alternatives could reduce actual child harm, but there is need for further research.

We’re all in agreement that untagged NSFW is not cool, and kids deserve kid-only sections of the internet. People who are triggered by or dislike problematic content deserve to be able to not see it. 👍

 (I’ve seen the argument that blocking tags/people should not be required - sorry, PTSD still requires that you manage your triggers, up to and including swearing off platforms just as I have sworn off bars/soap brands/etc to avoid my triggers.)

I have found a lot of accessible and free articles and studies that I will link throughout so that we can discuss the fact-based reasoning, in an effort to have a civil conversation.

(Also because we are not flat earthers, we are Fandom, and if we’re going to be annoying little shitheels in an “Um Actually” contest, we’re going to have the sources to back it up.)

Minors and Explicit Material

I’m not supporting minors engaging with explicit material. I have such little interest in the subject that I’m not even going to bring in articles, but you can feel free to. I personally engaged with explicit material as a preteen of my own free will and did not find it to be harmful, and the majority of people throughout human history have been exposed to explicit material at an early age with varying degrees of harm. There are undeniable legal and harm-driven differences between a 12 year old girl looking at Hustler on her own, a 14 year old boy being sent nudes from a grown woman, and a 6 year old viewing PornHub. (And I think the guardians of that 6 year old should be charged with grooming just like the woman, tbh.)

Personal Disclaimer

I’m an adult survivor of CSA and incest. I’m a happily married adult. I don’t personally like lolicon/shotacon/kodocon. I don’t like kids. I don’t like teens. I’m personally not attracted to underage fictional characters. I have family, the idea of fucking any of them makes me want to throw up and die, so I don’t write or read RPF of my family.

I am really, really fucking intense about preventing sexual violence, supporting survivors, and fandom, which is where this all comes from.

I read and love problematic fiction - my favorites are ASOIAF, Lolita, and VC Andrews. The most “problematic” thing I’ve personally written are Lucifer/Michael fics from Supernatural back in 2012. They are “brothers” in CW Christ, not blood. They do not have any blood.

Gen Z and Online Grooming

In 2002, a survey of 1500 minors from 10-17 found that 4% had been solicited for sexual purposes by an adult online.

In 2023, that number increased to 20%.

While the linked 2023 Thorn report suggests that the vast majority of these inappropriate interactions happened on platforms that allow for interpersonal communication, which by and large minors were greatly discouraged from and had less access to in the early 2000’s, a trauma-informed approach does not allow for blame to fall on the children. The guardians of those children have monumentally failed to restrict and educate before giving children the means to access those platforms.

It is my uncited but personal opinion that the increased rate of grooming, as well as an increased interest in combating rape culture, has led to well-intentioned individuals to become digital vigilantes attacking those who they hold responsible for their traumatic experiences in a search for catharsis and justice denied for themselves as well as a desire to make the internet safer for other children, whom they are increasingly aware are entering online spaces unsupervised at distressingly young ages.

Is harassment and bullying bad for perpetrators of it?

Before we get into how ship-related hate campaigns do not affect predation or combat rape culture, we should acknowledge that it’s actually pretty harmful for the people who cyberbully. Not just in the legal/social consequences, but people who participate in cyberbullying and cyberhate campaigns have higher rates of depression, estrangement from their parents, self-effacing habits, social anxiety, lower empathy, and so forth.

One study suggests that the treatment and prohibitive for cyberbullying, which contributes to a culture of cyberhate and a lower likelihood to report or confront other incidents of harassment or toxicity online, can be combatted with media competency to increase empathy along with other important life skills.

Some Common Pro-Censorship Myths

“Pornography is Addictive/Consumption of Pornography Leads to Increasingly Hardcore Imagery And Ultimately Real-World Violence” - The American Psychological Association does not recognize Porn Addiction as real and the DSM-5 does not classify it as an addiction. Additionally, many methods used in articles claiming that porn is addictive or causes users to seek out more hardcore material were flawed or biased. There is actually some evidence that compulsive porn use, the closest you can get to a porn addiction diagnosis, is associated with shame and the user’s belief that pornography is morally wrong, which sex-negative attitudes encourage.

“Jaws caused shark culling” - That's unfortunately a simplification that ignores a LOT of surrounding context. WW2’s modern naval battles with an increase of ship sinkings and thus contact with sharks prompted the invention and use of shark repellant by aviators and sailors in the 1940’s. The most deadly and famous shark attack of all time was the USS Indianapolis sinking in 1945, which led to 12-150 deaths. The 1974 book Jaws by Peter Benchley, which was the entire basis of the movie, was inspired by One Fucking Dude who started shark hunting tours and overall seemed to have a really immaculate vibe. The interstate highways that finished in the 1950’s increased beach tourism in the 60’s and onwards, inspiring the American surf culture, further increasing the cultural desire to purge sharks for the new swath of beachgoers and their fondness for using surfboards which make them look like seals to sharks. Additionally, 1975’s Jaws inspired a huge desire for education about sharks, and the relationship between problematic media and education will be the core of this yapperoni pizza.

“The Slendermen Killings/Other Fiction Inspired Crimes” - The ACLU states that “There is no evidence that fiction has ever driven a sane person to violence.” Inspired crimes are indeed no less tragic, and thankfully rare, but people who suffer from inability to discern reality and fiction do not necessarily need fiction to commit violence. The “Son of Sam” murder spree was not inspired by a book or movie, but instead Berkowitz’ auditory hallucinations.

“Violent videogames DO cause violence” - After a great deal of funding and study, the American Psychological Association has concluded that teens and younger may have increased feelings of aggression and not necessarily physically violent outbursts as a direct effect, but older teens and young adults do not encounter statistically meaningful rates of aggression.

“Your brain can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality” - Factually incorrect. Children as young as 5 years old can tell the difference, and they can even be more suspicious about “facts” that come from sources they know also host fiction, such as TV shows.

“This stuff shouldn’t be online because it can be used to groom a child” - While I could not find specific statistics on how often pornography is used to desensitize child victims, nor how often that is specifically used in online grooming, and especially not how much of that pornography is made from fictional characters - out of a mixed group of convicted offenders with adult and child victims, 55% of offenders used pornography to manipulate their victim. I would never refute that explicit fanart or fanfic could be used to desensitize a child, but that is by far not the only tool (asking about sexual experiences/identity, making jokes, etc is extremely common grooming behavior), and there is no evidence to suggest that it is used to a statistically significant degree. In my own anecdotal experience, normal vanilla legal pornography is used with far greater prevalence, and there isn’t a similar movement to shame its production for that possibility. Nor should the creators of any material, pornographic or otherwise, share blame in the actions of a predator.

The Fiction Affects Reality Carrd

(No hate to the person who made it, in fact I give props to them for trying to find unbiased sources, I just want to point out that their interpretations of their articles are kinda flawed and one of their studies is a kind of a perfect example on small and culturally biased samples.)

Reading Fiction Impacts Aggressive Behavior - (I cannot access the full study but this article is the primary source used in the Carrd and it goes into detail) - A study showed that 67 university students were more annoyed with a loud buzzer after reading a short story about a physical fight between roommates compared to a story with nonviolent revenge. However, this study was conducted at Brigham Young University, the same campus where we got a whole video series of hot ethical takes like “I’d rather shoot a kitten than drink coffee,” so uh. Yeah. Kind of a prime example on why it’s important to have large and culturally varied sampling. (Another BYU study with 137 BYU students being odd about moral ambiguity in fiction, just because I’m starting to add Dr. Sarah M. Coyne to my list of “Sarah’s That I Dislike.”)

Your Brain on Fiction - a NYT article that describes Theory of the Mind and how fMRIs captured how readers’ minds would light up centers of muscle control when reading sentences like “Peter kicked.” The quote “The brain, it seems, does not make much of a distinction between reading about an experience and encountering it in real life; in each case, the same neurological regions are stimulated” is speaking of motor functions. Emotional centers of the brain were not included in the study.

How Fiction Changes Your World - a Boston Globe article that actually describes how people who read more fiction are more empathetic and tend to believe in a just world. It does not state that the empathy a reader feels for fictional characters extends to corrupting their moral compass. In fact, there’s such a thing as a “fictive license” to explore taboo themes more thoroughly because it is not real - 123 participants were interviewed after watching two actors play the part of detective and murderer being interviewed, and participants who were told it was fake had more varied and inquisitive responses.

The Social Impact of Books - Actually reuses the previous study about the just world, so point remains. Empathy is understanding, not mirroring.

Is Problematic Fiction Good for Survivors of Trauma?

It absolutely depends on the individual.

Writing expressively about traumatic experiences has been shown to be effective to reduce depression, or more effective in reducing dysphoria and anxiety than talking to fellow survivors, and Written Exposure Therapy is broadly prescribed to survivors of trauma, with one study centering on car crash survivors finding that WET resolved their PTSD symptoms and continued to be effective after a year.

In this study, which sadly is not available online but it is too important to leave out completely, survivors of CSA were given fictional novels about CSA and in closely reading and analyzing those stories, were able to understand their own experiences and were indeed drawn to write about their own experiences as well.

Engaging in problematic fiction, like all fiction, allows for consent as well as control. If at any point a survivor does not feel in control or wishes to stop, they can at that instant. They can even rewrite their narratives and take control of their story in fictionalizing and changing the account. They can even try to understand what their abuser felt through fiction, which is helpful considering that the vast majority of survivors had a relationship that had been positive and even loving with their abusers at times.

Is Problematic Fiction Good for Everyone Else?

It again depends on the individual.

Antis might be a little right that most people don't want to read problematic stories. In a study exploring whether fiction can corrode morals, 83% of study participants stated that they would prefer not to read a short story justifying baby murder if they had the choice, even if that exploration isn’t inherently harmful.

This very small sample study of 13 participants discussed how young women interpreted sexual themes in writing, including explicit fanfiction, and how that was beneficial and informative to explore sexual desire and examine healthy and unhealthy relationships in a safe and controlled environment.

This meta-analysis further discusses how problematic and sexual themes in YA literature are useful to illustrate what sexual violence looks like, and begin educational conversations through those depictions to break down harmful myths such as “if she didn’t scream, she wanted it.”

Empowered by the “Fictive License” previously cited, problematic fiction can be beneficial for anyone who desires and is capable of consuming and analyzing it.

This study analyzing abusive aspects of three films - Beauty and the Beast, Twilight, and 50 Shades of Gray - concluded that these abusive themes should be discussed to increase recognition and awareness, not censored based on those problematic themes.

This study of 53 women were asked to read different versions of fictional intimate partner violence flags, or “toxic behavior” like surveillance, control, etc. In every version of the story, whether the female or male had those behaviors either courting or committed, the women recognized the behavior as wrong.

Another study that reading allows for the moral laboratory to explore morality in fiction without decisive impact to corroding moral permissibility.

Is There Ever Any Point Where Fictional Interests Definitively Speak On Someone’s Morality?

In short - not really. Loving Jason Vorhees does not put you at risk of murdering campers as long as you know he’s not real. Writing Wincest does not mean you look forward to family reunions, as long as you know incest isn’t okay in the real world. The real world, where real people are harmed, is where you find the measure of someone’s character.

This Psychology Today article is the best source I could find for quotes from a fantastic book ‘Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head? The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies’ by Brett Kahr regarding taboo sexual fantasies and how they are not only common, but not inherently harmful.

There are people who enjoy problematic media in an entirely nonsexual sense, of course. I myself don’t get off on problematic media - I think it’s just interesting to explore different experiences, and I think that can be revolutionary.

Additionally, fantasies in general have almost always been in the vein of “things you don’t want to really happen in reality.” In a study of 351 asexuals, more than half reported that they fantasize about having sex, but that doesn’t mean that they actually want to. You can fantasize about dating Billie Eilish - it doesn’t mean that you’d be happy dealing with celebrity culture.

(I personally fantasize about the internet being just for adults, but in practice I think that would be incredibly harmful and isolating for at-risk youth and LGBTQ teens) Fantasies always pluck out only the bits of reality that you want to engage with.

If You Get Off On Fictional Kids, You’re Attracted to Something About Them Being Kids

Not inherently, surprisingly. Wearing a schoolgirl uniform is a pretty common roleplay, and it’s not meant to “fool” the participants into thinking they’re indulging in pedophilia. There’s a wealth of emotional and sexual nuance in that specific kink - innocence and virginity play, tilted power dynamics in ‘scolding’ the uniform wearer for dress code violations, even the concept of a sexually provocative “teenager” can be played with without shame, because the world of fetish and fantasy is separated from condonable actions for the vast, vast majority of adults. (The only study I could find on this is this small study of 100 white guys found on Facebook, which itself states it is not definitive, found that while there might be correlation between attraction to children and interest in schoolgirl uniforms, there is no proof of causation. AKA, the rectangular pedophile might indeed like square schoolgirl uniforms, but not everyone - in fact, the majority at nearly 60% in this very survey - that likes square schoolgirl uniforms is a rectangular pedophile.)

Even sexual age play between adults is not indicative of pedophilia because it exists in a setting between two adults who fully understand that the mechanics are completely fake, allowing the power dynamics that would be abusive between an adult and child to be ethically explored.

I don’t have an official-looking study to cite, but I have asked people who like content about underage fictional characters why they do so. Overwhelmingly, a lot of the ones who like underage age gaps like the fantasy of an older and more experienced character taking a younger one under their wing, to have the opportunity to commit violent and blatantly objectifying harm and yet try to create what inevitably does not truly pass as consent, but seems near enough to the characters. Some think that the characters themselves have an interesting chemistry. Some read underage fic and still imagine the characters as adults. Some like to explore the feelings of shame that the older character must feel and how they mentally compartmentalize to go forward with the relationship, and how the younger character found themself in that vulnerable position - which is exploring a harmful situation through fiction to understand how it could play out in real life.

People who like fictional incest like exploring the shameful components of that taboo relationship - and I have seen a lot of works that compare how bad incest could be to other harms, like the Gravecest route in a game with parental cannibalism. And then there are folks who like analyzing the codependency of having one person fulfill every social need - family, friend, lover, AKA Wincest.

What makes a predator if it’s not just sexual attraction?

90% of CSA survivors know their abuser, discrediting the still-entirely-too-popular Stranger Danger myth. And shockingly, only 50% of abusers are pedophiles.

That means 50% of child molesters do not have sexual interest in children because they are children, but they victimized children because they are more accessible in lieu of adult partners, with increased rates of incest.

While I could not find a specific study on the relation between dehumanization/objectification of child victims and child molesters (and if you find one, please send it to me!), this study speaks on dehumanization as a precursor to adult sexual violence.

This study, conducted on convicted child molesters in prison, showed that child molesters tend to fantasize about children while in a negative mood, further contributing to the theory that child victims are dehumanized prior to abuse.

This very small sample study found that in a mixed sample of internet only/contact crime/mixed offenders, offenders who had contact with children had lower rates of fantasizing about children.

In short, half the time a child predator is someone who wants to offend against a child regardless of attraction to the fact they are a child.

Resources To Recognize Grooming/Abuse Victims/Predators

I would absolutely be remiss to not share my collection of resources to help detect signs of abuse/grooming as well as warning signs of a predator who may be targeting elders/women/teens/children:

Darkness 2 Light is a fantastic resource overall, this page details stages and signs of grooming.

RAINN personally helped me through my PTSD journey, and this article detailing the signs of sexual trauma in teenagers is thorough and non-judgemental

Signs of abuse as well as warning signs of predation that does not use gendered language nor play into the Stranger Danger myth.

Education, not Censorship

I think a lot of the energy against taboo content among young people still has a lot to do with the desire to end rape culture. The tools that we Millennial Tumblrinas gave you Gen Z kids were snatches of leftist theory, deplatforming, and voting with your dollar, so it’s reasonable to think that removing taboo content like pedophilia, incest, rape fights rape culture.

It doesn’t.

Rape culture is fought by education. Comprehensive sex education, education about consent. Talking about what consent looks like, what sex can look like, what rape can look like.

There should be more taboo content to talk about these things, to show all the shades it can look like. From a violent noncon to fics that aren’t even tagged as dubcon yet still are in shades that are hard to suss out, we should talk about it.

A Non-Empirical Example Of Good Media Analysis and Education to Combat Rape Culture

Let’s use the example of Daemon and Rhaenyra Targaryen’s relationship in House of the Dragon. Canonically, in both the book and the show, they have a romantic relationship that appears for the most part to be positive (the show being more contentious but I dedicated an aside to Sarah Hess and our beef at the bottom of my Carrd, but feel free to ask how I feel about writing producers with any variation of the name ‘Sarah’) despite an age gap, a sexual relationship that began while Rhaenyra was a minor, and incest - the problematic hat trick if you will.

I have seen anti-Daemyra shippers condemn Daemyra shippers for “Condoning grooming, age gaps, pedophilia, and incest.” Which is not just a broad, inaccurate, and harmful statement, it’s not at all constructive or educational analysis.

It would actually be beneficial to say “Daemon is grooming Rhaenyra as a teenager with gifts, devoted attention that takes advantage of her isolation and vulnerability, frequent nonsexual touches, the extreme desensitization to sexuality in the brothel visit,” etc etc. And even so, it is not useful to say that people cannot still ship the relationship and acknowledge those aspects. They might want to further explore the issues of consent in their dynamic in fiction, they may want to strip away some of them with narrative reimagining. Some might want to ignore the taboos completely and indulge in the fantasy entirely, and some might find the actors hot as hell - AKA, anyone who watches the show.

It’s honestly a little similar to me in how Jerry Falwell would tell his followers not to watch or read or take in any media that dealt with homosexuality unless it was condemning it - even Will & Grace was on Jerry’s shitlist. And so, Jerry’s followers missed out on a lot of media that could have educated them about queerness, could have humanized queer people for them - and that did not make queers go away. Just like ignoring or shutting out media about incest, rape, and other forms of sexual violence doesn’t make those things go away - it just tends to make you less informed, and little less capable of empathy towards people affected by those subjects.

So let’s stop shaming those that ship a complicated dynamic - you get less fanworks exploring those taboos, and less of a discussion overall. You shut down the morality lab of fiction, and to be honest, it’s wet sock behavior.

Some FanFiction Specific Studies

How dubcon fanfiction can flesh out the intricacies and messiness of realistic consent

A review of darkfic written about Harry Potter in 2005 (which, I will personally attest has never been outdone in how profoundly taboo those works were)

Interviews with 11 Self Insert writers who wrote on themes of rape, abuse, control, yandere, etc, and how that was beneficial to some who had experienced sexual violence themselves

Conclusion:

H…holy shit, you actually read all of that?? Congrats dude! That is a lot of time and brain power to dedicate to any one thing!

By the way, I am not really gifted at writing articles or any of that junk, and I tried to make my hyperlexic ass a little more accessible instead of bringing out all the $5 words. I am literally just an autistic who took a couple technical writing classes over a decade ago and really wanted to sort out my thoughts and try to have a platform for discussion. Also, I am really fucking bad at math. I failed two different college level statistics classes twice each. Gun to my head, I could not tell you what a standard deviation is, which is why I worked entirely with the percentages.

And I do want to have a discussion! I would in fact like to not report anyone for sending me gore or death threats or any of that stuff! I don’t think everyone will agree with me, in fact I’m certain that you could find studies that contradict some of mine, and I’d love to discuss them!

I’m sure it will still be tempting to throw around accusations of pedophilia because sometimes, confronting your previously held beliefs is incredibly uncomfortable. If you could not do that, that would be great? I don’t like being compared to someone who profoundly abused me just because I have a different opinion on how to combat rape culture and empower survivors. If you can do that, I’ll do my absolute best to be cheerful and welcoming and respectful as well. 😁

PS - I’m also not really going to be phased if you call me weird or cringe - I am. Always have been. Cringe, weirdness, and autism have made me do and capable of doing some fantastically neat and impressive stuff. But if you try to say something like “proshippers are too yucky and weird to be in fandom” - I’m going to have to refer you to your similarity to Kate Sanders of Lizzy McGuire fame, you “prEpz >:(“ - [My Immortal, legendary author unknown]

[gilverrwrites]

Roaming eyes and twitching fingers

Tim Drake/Reader, 1K words Kinktober entry 7: Frottage Warnings: Public foreplay | frotting | v subby reader Requested by: Anonymous x 2

The rickety old cart comes to an abrupt stop, and you lose your balance in those pretty but precarious heels once again, careening directly into Tim's arms. You're probably embarrassed given how flushed your skin feels beneath his steadying hand. He hears the doors open, hears the endless chatter of the underground as more and more people pack into the already full carriage. But he's not really paying attention to any of that. All he's focused on right now is your cleavage and how it's pushed against his chest; the slither of your bra poking out from the neckline, the rise and fall of your necklaces pendant as it sits in cleft of your breasts.

He’s snapped out of it when you tap your fingers on his side. “Ahem. Tim?”

“Oh, hah.” He hadn't realised how tightly he’d locked his grip on you when you'd fallen into him and he reluctantly let's go. “Sorry.”

You seem unbothered, taking half a step back into the limited amount of space the crowds will allow and quickly resuming your story about some guy from work that you don't like.

To occupy his wayward eye, Tim surveys the space around him, instinctively looking for threats and updating his escape route since the changing of passengers, but it isn’t long before he's drawn back to you and your yapping. How couldn’t he not be? The red and black mini dress? The matching lip? The gold fucking jewellery? He wasn’t sure which possibility is more likely; That you somehow knew about his secret identity and this is some kind of taunt, or that your have completely incidentally branded yourself in Red Robin colours. Either way, his cock is threatening to pop a boner at any moment and… now you’re glaring at him.

“Tim, are you even listening to me?” You’re trying to look angry, furrowing your brows and pursing your lips but with the mood he's in; all your theatrics just make you look hotter.

“Yeah, that guy seems like an ass.” Despite his roaming eyes, Tim had heard every word out of your mouth. He’d also heard the old man at the other end of the cart cursing down the phone, the two women behind you debating if Wonder Woman could beat up Zatanna (yes), and he heard the indicative chime of the announcement system alerting passengers to the next stop, which is why he’s prepared then the carriage suddenly halts, launching your sulking form into waiting arms, again.

“Thanks.” You murmur, burying your face into his shoulder, ashamed to have been caught off guard yet another time.  

He’s about to respond when he clocks the colossus of a man squeezing his way through the hoards. Seriously, this guy looks like he could bench-press Superman, and of the limited spot available, he decides to position himself in the space you’d been occupying only seconds ago. As if sensing what was going on, you tilt your head to the side, also clocking the predicament before looking up at him with wide eyes and an awkward, but amused smile. Neither of you can help giggling sheepishly at each other.

Outwardly, Tim tries his best to appear calm and casual in the knowledge that you, in all your dolled-up glory are going to be pressed to him until your stop in about 15 minutes, or at least until people start exiting the cart. But on the inside his heart is beating a mile a minute, and the hard-on he’d been fighting finally wins out. He’s convinced you’re going to notice at least one any minute now.

Even though he’s loosing his cool, he tells you to hold on tighter as the train approaches a sharp turn between Liberty and Endbury. You do so, digging your nails into his shirt. With Tim’s sturdy arms tucked into the small of your back, your body barely sways from side to side, but theirs enough motion for your plush stomach to brush up against the obvious bulge in his jeans, and you immediately look at him, fast enough for him catch the subtle increase in the size of your pupils.

You lick your lips, eyes searching his own, but you don’t say anything, and neither does Tim. What is someone supposed to say in this situation? But the metaphorical clock is ticking, and things could turn very uncomfortable very fast if he doesn’t play his cards right. Taking your faintly glassed-over eyes, and the anxious twitching of your fingers as a good sign, Tim decides to take a risk; leisurely running his hand along the arch of your back until it decisively cupping the fat of your asscheek. You gasp in response, breaking eye contact, skittishly nuzzling into the nap of your neck, but making no effort to stop him.

His hands are sweaty, and he hopes it wont mar the fabric of your clothes as he squeezes you through it, guiding you your lower body to grind against his. You grip him harder, breath hitching against his throat, and he almost moans aloud, instead, he grunts, low and dirty into your ear and he feels himself blushing when you hum sweetly back at him.  

“What colour is your underwear.” Tim probes, as he plays with the hem of your dress. He needs to hear your voice, to hear your active participation. And to know if it matches the rest of your get up.

You look up at him, you’d almost look meek if not for the mischievous little smile on your crimson lips. “I’m not wearing any.”  

Fuck. His dick throbs at the through as he brazenly pulls your skirt up a few inches, just enough for him to slide his hand beneath it with ease and knead his fingers into the flesh of your bare ass.  Would it be wrong of him to hope for some kind of subway disruption?   

Remember: Slow progress, is still progress.

Kinktober Masterlist

[sakashq]

a happy lamine yamal blurb? a day in together? i love your work! 💞 emphasis on happy

Glue Song 𝜗𝜚 lamine yamal x fem!reader.

🦢 summary. You were feeling sick, but your clingy boyfriend was not going to leave you alone.

🦢 wc. ≈400

🦢 yap! first “no. angst.” now “emphasis on happy”?!?! is sadness just my brand? i’m sorry guys imma fix that soon trust. ☺️💕

🦢 DTS . . . @ar4ujos @halfwayhearted @joaoflms @iovepoem @hrts4havertz @planetpedri <3

You woke up, your throat feeling clogged and your nose stuffed. You were already dreading the day.

You also woke up to your usual ‘good morning beautiful ❤️’ text from Lamine, which almost made everything better. Almost.

You responded with, ‘ahhem, hem, i’m sick 🤒,’ referencing the movie the two of you watched together just nights before. As soon as you responded, Lamine called you.

“Are you actually sick?” He asked you, no greeting or anything.

You couldn’t help but chuckle and respond, “Yes, Lamine.”

“Okay, give me twenty.” Is all he said before hanging up. What did he mean by that?

After twenty minutes you found out. He had gone out to get you breakfast (toast, yogurt, and hot tea) and a small bouquet of flowers. Your mom let him in and he made his way upstairs, surprising you.

“Oh my gosh, Lamine,” you exclaimed, sitting up in bed. “You didn’t have to do any of that.”

He shook his head in disagreement, setting your tray of breakfast on your bed. “No, I definitely did.” He then placed the flowers which were now in a vase on the side table.

You began eating your breakfast silently as he sat down next to you. “Lamine, I’m sick.”

“We’ll be sick together,” he smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“The same since you called me this morning,” you responded. “Did you get yourself anything?”

Lamine nodded, not replying with words. He grabbed the remote to your television and turned on your favorite show, the one he swore he hated, but would always watch with you.

For the next few hours, you and him both rested together cuddled up and watching TV together. At one point you ended up falling asleep, taking a small nap. When you woke up it was 6:00pm, and Lamine was still laying there by your side with you in his arms. He hadn’t noticed you wake up, but you noticed his slight cough.

“Did I get you sick?” You jokingly asked.

“Like I said, we’ll be sick together.”

[sturnstars5]

i’ll show you how to be quiet- chris sturniolo

when chris won’t shut up for 2 seconds, you force him to be quiet and let you take control.

bf!chris x dom!fem!reader

warnings(mdni): oral (m recieving), swearing, suggestive terms, orgasm denial

enjoy!!

“so then, i looked at that bitch and told her how much of a bitch she was!” nick says, talking about some girl from his brand meeting.

“nick!” matt and you say in disbelief.

“i mean, someone had to say what we were all fucking thinking! she told me that-“

“do you guys want pizza for dinner?” chris interrupts.

“chris shut your mouth i wasn’t done.” nick replies.

“sorry, i’m just hungry. i saw this ad for pizza and then i got to thinking about places that have good pizza, then i thought about mini pizzas, then i realized how hungry i was-“

“chris, shut the fuck up! can you not go two fucking seconds without yapping about fucking nonsense?” nick says.

“whatever, but seriously, can somebody go pick up some pizza?” chris says, making everyone giggle.

“fine, matt and i will go pick up pizza for dinner. are you happy?” nick says.

“yep!”

“alright, see you in a little bit. don’t drive y/n crazy, either.” nick says, walking out the door with matt.

“while they’re gone, do you wanna watch a movie?” chris asks, cuddling beside you on the couch.

“sure!”

chris puts on you guys’ favorite movie, scream.

“have you seen that one video of that dog and that bird?” chris asks.

“mhm.” you reply, focusing on the movie.

about 2 minutes later, chris asks you another question.

“do i snore really bad when i sleep? because matt says i do but i sleep with you more, so i figured you would know-“

“nick was right, wasn’t he.” you interrupt.

“what do you mean?” chris says.

“you really like to talk a lot don’t you?” you ask.

“yeah, i guess so.”

“come with me.”

you lead chris back to your shared bedroom.

“lay on the bed, i’ll show you how to be quiet .” you instruct.

chris does what he’s told, laying on the bed while staring up at you. you’ve barely done anything, and you can see the tent growing in his sweatpants.

you reach over on you nightstand, grabbing a roll of tape that’s laying in the junk drawer. you rip off a piece, taping chris’ mouth shut.

“you stay quiet for me, alright?” you say. he nods in response.

you grab the waistband of his sweatpants, and you slowly pull them down, throwing them off of the bed once they’re off. his underwear go next, and now his lower half is completely exposed.

you straddle chris’ bare lower half, and you start to slowly stroke his length, teasing the tip as you run your hand down him.

you can hear his muffled needy moans through the tape, begging you to go faster so he can release.

“you wanna come, chris?”

“mhmm!” he desperately moans out.

you go faster, finding a good pace that pleasures chris, but leaves him needing more. he cries out into the tape, desperately begging for you to let him come.

“wow, so desperate, aren’t you? you really wanna come, don’t you?” you say.

“mhm! mhm!” he muffles out.

“well, you haven’t been very quiet, so i’m gonna make you wait a little longer.”

chris groans in response, desperate to release.

you graze his tip again, your finger dampening as he leaks precum onto it. chris whimpers with need.

you take pity on him, so you lower mouth onto his tip, swirling your tongue around and gathering his precum.

you run your mouth down his length, hollowing your cheeks and tightening your lips around his dick. you place your hand at the base, stroking up and down.

you go faster, and in response chris moans against the tape.

you keep going until you see his stomach flex, and you feel his warm cum coating your throat.

you rip off the tape, chris still speechless and breathless.

“have you learned your lesson?” you ask.

“i’m gonna talk more often so we can do this more.”

“christopher!” you giggle.

“pizzas here!” you hear nick and matt yell from the kitchen.

“good timing.” you and chris say, walking into the kitchen.

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed!

[johnslittlespoon]

okay listen feral bikerider gale/past catching up to him/etc etc etc anon here and can I just say. thank you. I’m not overly interested in the actual violence or gang-shit or whatever. when I first read about the bikerider au all I could think about was sons of anarchy (idk if you’ve watched it, but I watched three seasons with my dad and it’s all just. gang conflict after gang conflict after gang conflict with some romance sprinkled on top and that’s not. really my thing) and I was not into it. at all. then your yapping (affectionate) converted me. hearing that it won’t be all weapon smuggling and, idk, drugs or smth is actually so reassuring lol

and!!! obviously it’s your fic/au, I’m definitely not here to try to influence you in any way whatsoever!!! I’m super excited to read it no matter what because your writing is just. lovely. I check in pretty much every morning like I’m reading the papers lmao

doing something semi-stupid in your past feels like kind of on brand for everyone, even though it might not be illegal for most. and maybe it wasn’t illegal for Gale, either, bro I am not a very good writer, I’ll leave the plotting to someone else.

but I’ll always love the idea of Gale being a little feral. or a lot feral. like John getting hurt in a bikerider au tickles my brain the same way John punching a German guard in canon centric fics does. Nevermind the guard, I just need the fallout. the angsty fallout.

John and Gale coming back home, and Gale sitting him down in the bathroom to very, very carefully patch him up (and, listen, the other guys probably just roughed him up a little. he probably got away with minor bruises and some scrapes), and Gale being insanely worried that he has scared John. John on the other hand is worried for Gale, because what if it happens again? What if the police finds out? John being worried that he somehow messed up.

and, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t mind reading feral gale beating the shit out of people. It’s just not something I want to read a full fic of.

finally, because I just need to add this, too: Gale’s knuckles being split and bleeding and John so very carefully cleaning them up, pressing gentle kisses to the cuts when he has to scrape the dried blood up to get it properly clean. Gale not being sure what he did to deserve John, being so sweet and gentle and caring.

okay, over and out 🫡 sorry for not being that clear in the other ask, I blame. idk, sleep deprivation. and sorry for making this so long, idk what I’m on about half the time and my meds are doing shit to my brain. I love your blog and your writing just. makes my fucking days. I’d wait forever for the next chapter of dog coded Bucky ❤️

YIPPIEE more leaving!bikeriders au >:) hii i meant to get back to this SO long ago, feels like good timing now with the bikeriders theatre day approaching! i'm assuming you're the anon from this post <3

i have THOUGHTS. aka this got lengthy oops, shocker. a bit of plotting and then like 2k words of drabble below the cut lmfaoo

the proper drabble will be further down, but first of all, very big agree!! and relieved i'm not the only one who feels this way omg. i haven't watched SOA for this reason specifically– i just don't have much interest in the conflict/violence–heavy plot stuff (which is ironic considering i'm excited for the bikeriders movie, but i think it's pretty clear that's because of the lovely cast lol since i don't care for bikes/cars in the slightest oops). HONOURED that my yapping converted you tho LOL i swear if something is character focussed, it can make 99% of topics at least somewhat appealing!

and please don't worry omg i don't feel influenced/pressured etc, i loveee bouncing ideas and brainrot back and forth for my aus, it's sm fun and i love trying to incorporate things other people like/suggest when i can!! <3 but omg i will weep thank you so much wtf?? :'))

for sure; even the most stoic/'put together' characters surely have done some not very bright things in their lives. i'm toying with a couple backstories for gale to establish what might catch up to him or cause conflict, but i'm gonna wait to decide until i see the movie because i have a feeling i'll get some good inspo from benny's story!

honestly it's the part i'll have to put the most effort into really thinking out in terms of plot to make it flow naturally, because all the relationship focussed things kinda write themselves as i brainrot. but i'm 99% sure i'm gonna write the fic from john's pov because it'll keep a lot of gale a mystery to the readers as well, and therefore save me from having to flesh out certain things until necessary lmfaoo

and yeah!! it's not always the events themselves that hit the hardest– it's the fact that the character could be feral enough for them to happen in the first place, and it's the outcome/fallout that's most fun to write/read (to me).

feral gale is so fun to explore in general because of how different it is to most of what we're shown of him in mota, so it's like a challenge to keep him feeling in character while also picking out the little parts of him that could be pushed to be that way. and of course the classic whump of the one person gale cares about and tries so hard to protect getting hurt because of him? endless angst possibilities.

i dig what you said, about john 'just' being roughed up a little, because i think with whatever backstory i end up forming, it's not like the 'bad guys' are gonna be some mastermind criminals extorting gale for something life or death lol. it's probably gonna be a bunch of rough and tumble biker men with some long lasting beef between their clubs, hitting gale where they know it'll hurt the worst: a loved one.

i bet you anything (depending on how plotting goes LOL) that they don't actually even intend to mess john up to the extent they do; i bet john runs his mouth and makes some sorta escape attempt because as terrified as he is, all he can think about is how gale's gonna obviously track him down and he's more worried about what the guys are planning to do to gale when he shows up. in his naive mind, if he can get out and get to a phone or something, he can stop everything.

ofc the escape attempt is futile because it's one gangly college kid vs a couple of grown ass men, and john gets banged up in the process, seeing as being tackled to the ground with your wrists bound behind your back doesn't leave you with anything to protect your face from concrete with, and maybe then he gets a solid fist to the face to scare him out of pulling anymore shit (it sure works).

and just the act of taking john/putting him danger alone would have gale ready to wring these men out by their necks, but when he shows up and sees his baby bleeding? and he can't tell how bad he's hurt, from where he's lurking around the corner scoping out the situation? he'd see red and be pretty dang close to saying fuck it and going in there without a plan, but the fear of john getting hurt in the process would stop him, and he doesn't feel like going down for murder.

somehow he picks off the guys one by one with a generous amount of flying fists and y'know, maybe a bit of knife–work if necessary, idk, future plotting lol, and tells them they're good as dead if they pull anything like this again. that the club will be keeping an eye out for them, that they're a buncha cowards, and they can come talk to him face to face like men, next time. you get it.

and then finally, obligatory wound care ofc <3 easily top three tropes ever ugh. gale gets john the fuck out of there and to the safety of his truck, methodical and vigilant, and only then does his guarded expression drop, and his hands are shaking just as hard as john's are when he cups john's face in his hands to look him over. john gives him a shell–shocked "'m fine, gale" and hates how guilty gale looks, because there's not even the tiniest part of john that blames gale for any of it; john knew what he was getting into (to an extent) with gale.

but regardless, gale's shaken up, terrified by how much worse things could've gone and how much danger john could've been in, but also terrified of how deeply he feels for john; probably some backstory there about gale seeing someone he loved get hurt, or almost get hurt, swearing he'd never bring someone into his life again because of it, etc, and then in waltzes stubborn, loud–mouthed john egan.

but selfishly (or what he feels is selfish), gale's also terrified that this might be the final nail in the coffin for john. he knows he's not the easiest to be with (even though john thinks the exact same thing about himself lol silly boys) and he knows john's more patient than he deserves, and could find someone his own age with a normal life in a heartbeat with his sweet disposition and charming pretty boy looks. and he knows john's well within his rights to walk away from their relationship now, to be scared of the future, to decide it's too much, and part of gale would be relieved to not have to worry, even if he'd miss john like he's lost half of himself.

it's real quiet when they're back home and john's sitting on the bathroom counter, gale between his legs, patching up his face so so gently, as if each brush of a cotton swab is an apology. both of them have lots to say but neither know how to say it; john hates knowing gale's probably shouldering all the blame and he doesn't know how to reassure him in a way that'll get through to him, but he can't handle the silence. probably makes a weak joke about how "y'shoulda seen the other guy" and doesn't even get a smile out of gale.

ends up wrapping his legs around gale's hips to pull him closer but just gets a huffed out, frustrated "john" as gale swats his ankles away, and it's not that john's trying to make light of what happened, he just doesn't know how to talk about something like that, regardless of how good he and gale have gotten at communicating.

john probably gets a bit frustrated, because gale’s already so protective over him as is, which he likes, but now gale’s treating him like glass, like he’s scared to hurt him further just by touching him, and john does not like that. it feels like progress undone, like he's back at the beginning of their relationship when gale wouldn't let him in or open up to him or trust that he was capable of making his own decisions.

so when gale's done bandaging him up with practiced, meticulous hands, john doesn't give gale time to react, just slides off the counter and snatches the little first aid kit from his hands and says "okay, your turn." and it's obvious gale wants to protest, but john catches him so off guard that he stunned into silence, lets john guide him until he's leaning against the counter.

john's hands still tremble when he takes gale's hands in his, and he tries to steady them because he doesn't want gale to see how freaked out he is, but he diligently cleans away the blood around his knuckles, feeling gale's eyes on him the whole time but not looking away from his task, scared he'll shatter the moment if he does.

if he were to look up though, he'd see gale's watching him in complete awe, struck by the fiercest wave of adoration, drawing a blank while he tries to search for what he could've possibly done in this life or another to have someone like john come (crashing, stumbling, tornado–ing) into his life.

and if we wanna make it extra yowch–y and sappy and feelings heavy: as john's brushing his lips over the cuts, dusting featherlight kisses across his knuckles, john's throat goes tight and he feels his own overwhelming rush of emotions and his heart thumps and he blurts out: "i love you."

it's the first time one of them says it. and it’s a disguised i love you even so. i love you despite. i love you anyway. i love you because. months worth of reassurances wrapped into three words, and even with what john's just gone through, he's still scared when it slips out, looks up at gale with wide, searching eyes, trying to gauge whether he's overstepped or said the wrong thing.

gale's just trying to catch his breath, feeling like the wind's been knocked out of him by the admission. half of him wants to shake his head, gently push john's hands away, tell him "no you don't, hun." a tiny part of him wants to be cruel about it, to laugh the honesty off and ensure john will walk out that door far, far away from the mess that gale is, and not turn back, safe from harm.

but the other half of him, the half that holds his heart, evidently, has him cupping john's open, sincere face in his hands, looking down into bright, fearful, hopeful blue eyes, and murmuring "i love you more."

and john blushes as hard as he did the first time they'd kissed, as hard as he did the first time he was laid out in gale's bed, as if he and gale haven't said a million things much more fluster–inducing since they met. gets all shy, pouts, looks down and mumbles "that's not fair," and that finally gets the first smile out of gale all day, maybe even a breath of a laugh.

they love each other your honour </333

this got way out of hand but what else is newwww i'm so weak for these two. so so weak. i keep saying it but MAN i'm so excited to write this fic this summer omg :')

and DON'T BE SORRY!! it's so chill omg, you were perfectly clear (but i'm glad you elaborated and gave me an excuse to yap about them some more hehehe) and never apologize for long messages, i loveee reading the brainrot and hearing ur thoughts and getting to brainrot back. and thank you AGAIN sobs 😭💗 that makes MY days and ur way too kind fml. i hope the wait hasn't been too long LOL on the chapters AND a response to this ask!! tysm again mwah

[yonpote]

sorry i dont have anyone to talk to this about lol so it's going in your inbox but i'm in my mid-20s and only now for the first time in my life have i changed my mind on rpf specifically because of phanfic. i'm a returning phannie but like.... the last time i watched them was all the way back in 2012. and was very ani-rpf then and have continued to be through the years. and i think in a lot of cases i maintain that position. but after falling back in love with dnp and the phandom and caving into the urge to read some phanfic knowing that dnp themselves encourage and respect it im kind of shocked to find it's actually a really beautiful, metatextual, interactive creative outlet. i think youve talked a bit about how phanfic isnt really rpf to you and i kind of agree, because dan and phil to me are like.... an idea, a mythology, a narrative, that theyre aware of and have built as well as being aware that we're aware of. like the idea of dan and phil has been constructed by them and their fans hand in hand for over a decade. and i find that phanfic itself is very aware of this and exists to expand upon those ideas. lol. yeah that's it sorry for this ramble. i just find it surprising that something could change my mind on that in this day and age but it's been a very cool experience.

hello welcome youve come to the right place for this yap because i COMPLETELY understand you. like genuinely i am not this attached to any other "rpf" content like this? ok i had an egobang phase but honestly arin and danny have grown to share a similar but not exact same connection as dnp BUT I DIGRESS

but yeah i think a lot of it is due to the contrastive relationships between the brand of Dan and Phil™, their separate individual brands Daniel Howell and AmazingPhil (particularly dan), the Phanon dnp, and the actual real people dan and phil. i always go back to the fanfiction segment of tatinof but its just such a perfect example of what i mean. like, the entire idea to have a fanfic scene was ofc the real people's idea, and they used tropes they would see in the phanon to convey the audience interactive story, but at the same time had to keep it at least Somewhat appropriate for the Brand™ at the time being very pre-teen and teen focused. honestly idk how much you've gone back and watched of what you missed, but i would suggest doing that not just cuz theres some incredible stuff from those eras, but also seeing the intersection of the brand, fanon, and real people and when they split apart. you see it a lot especially in gaming videos imo where theyre unscripted, and once they got more comfortable in the gaming channel roles the energy shifting away from Brand but never too far... until ofc now where what even is their brand anymore just Chaos and Queerness i guess

OH ALSO go read some old fic and compare to newer ones like its not just that writing styles changed or that dnp themselves have changed, but the like. energy and intent put into fic has changed. i would say in the past it was more exploratory, putting dnp in AU's and imagines, or exploring what Could have happened. whereas now, yes ofc there are au's and fic for the purpose of exploring a concept or world, but also its a lot more introspective. exploring the inner world a bit more. idk i just thijk dnp are funny lil guys and they accidentally created some freaky lil creatures in a lab somewhere...

[thecoolerliauditore]

third time getting this ask deleted, i don't think the universe wants my thoughts on fem grian out there :(

i don't even actually have any problem with this interpretation. it's just both very interesting and silly to me. there is a non-insignificant amount of fanwork that emphasizes grian as having a small, thin waist and general petite frame. nothing wrong with that, but deeply amusing as someone who generally doesn't see the c!lifers' human builds as significantly different from their irl counterparts. starting to suspect people don't share my love for middle-aged guys who look like middle-aged guys... maybe i watch too much british comedy.

ultimately i do agree that it's due to grian being more uke-viable than the other two in mumscarian. which is interesting, because you could argue that mumbo shares a lot of the same "effeminate" traits (higher-pitched voice, not a hulking brute force, sneaky and conniving, young, skinny?) which just proves the power of the Guy with Suit and Moustache branding. exceptions to this are when mumbo gets to have a nice long dress, but i still think the way grian gets feminized is different to that.

something else i find interesting is that grian's deception and manipulation (and power?) is sometimes the sole reason for his feminization getting pushed from generic twink to femboy/literal woman. which is something that i don't think i can do justice pontificating about. i mean this less in a "that's kind of misogynistic way" (well, sort of) and more like, ok what kind of psychosexual game of telephone is happening here. martyn or scott don't really get this treatment, despite (imo) both being valid contenders for evil womanification.

does any of this matter? absolutely not. men shipped in yaoi pairs will get interestingly gendered one way or another. it just so happens that a very specific domino effect lead to grian getting hit with the twinkification beam at a disproportional rate to the others. the only factor that is unique to grian in getting twinkified and feminized is the 3px skin. all others are shared (gremlin-ness, shortness, voice, cuteness, youth, being evil?, sneaky, manipulative) ergo it really is the 3px skin difference. thank you for your time.

also sorry if it seemed like i was assuming you were a grian fan, i legitimately wasn't lol i just sent it to you because of aforementioned gender mentions and you general Goodness in talking about fandom meta.

last thing i'll say is i mournfully agree with the menswear section. i do wish that we could combat more against the "men's fashion/design is boring" sentiment in general fandom. character involving menswear is such an untapped treasure trove that it's baffling to me. alas.

oh please don't worry I was just trying to clarify I wasn't knowledgeable on grian, I love discussions like this! I just didn't want to like. yap a whole bunch and then hit you with the "ok so I don't actually watch Grian all that much" (like I genuinely had completely forgotten about Mother Spore)

"psychosexual game of telephone" is very real and I think I'm going to adopt that into my vocabulary from now on. Scott's name being here is interesting because I actively try not to bring him up in every discussion nowadays, but I do think he is also feminized in fanon but in a way very different to Grian.

My Scott design at least I think you could make that argument for since I based alot of him off of my favourite pretty boys/bishounen, with the eyelashes visible and whatnot, but I tried to at least make it somewhat clear that he is a Man. He even kind of got hit with the detwinkification ray the more I drew him.

And idk fanon Scott is like. It's own brand of fascinating to me because I used to see a lot of people claim he was a "fem gay man" and I was like???????? is he???????????? I suppose his masculinity is a very queer brand of masculinity but it still very much reads as masculinity to me. Very "cis gay man" as he says himself. When I see the words "fem gay man" I am not imagining Scott Smajor, that much is for sure.

There's also just not that many Scott artists relative to the rest of the characters but what art I do see of him tends to lean either anime twink. Weight and body type is also a factor here I think is worth exploring but aughhhh shutting up about Scott. Point is I do think he gets his fair share of feminization but it's complicated with him cus you have to factor in him being The Gay One (and the associations people have with that) and his whole persona being very Cute 🌺

But yes yes anyway I do think Mumbo's moustache does him wonders, as does the CC's reputation for being a giant.

And while none of this Really matters I also don't think any of our lives Really matter and I think these trends are interesting so. We may as well have fun studying them. It's times like these where I wish I could have the brazen-ness to just yoink people's art and put them next to their takes about the character to really, really get in there but I'd feel rude 😔

FTR re the whole nothing wrong with it thing I agree! And you can look at this silly thing I drew for April Fools for my opinion on fanon designs and body types. I am a massive hypocrite in a lot of ways and I think sometimes you do just gotta break down the biases that make you view a certain set of traits a certain way and go. Wow okay that's interesting. and just kinda leave.

My Pearl design for example has some misogynistic implications -- hell, all of my designs for the women lifers are on the shorter side. My Pearl is shorter than my Bdubs and Joel who have entire gags surrounding them about being short! CC Pearl is very much not cute moe anime girl, I turned her character into cute moe anime girl. And I'd do it any day. Minus one point for me in the feminism and body positivity categories 😔 and I'd do it again.

It's whatever man. Humans have biases built on millions of years of history and people also have their own individual beliefs and preferences influenced by that history. and I think seeing that show through people's minecraft youtuber designs like little bits and pieces of worldviews is REALLY COOL. and while I'm also a biased human being who has my tastes I genuinely do think this is really fascinating.

Ok sorry this really got away from me can you tell I like this topic lmao. I just think it's really cool when you get unlimited perspectives on a certain set of traits applied onto a very interpretable design like a minecraft skin

Fist bump on the menswear btw. Makes me wanna draw that self-indulgent idea I had awhile back where I just use the lifers as my fashion dolls. Idk I just think Etho would kill in some Japanese techwear

[aipurjopa]

ive deemed you to be very fucking silly do you wanna yap about anything? (go wild. literally anything.)

HIHIHIHIIHIHII okay so i don't have muchhh to yap about buuuut i did wanna say hi and yes, i'm SO fucking silly i hope i'm the silliest guy you've ever met

ummm i guess i'll rant about that new unstable vid from parrot then (heh)

BIG SPOILERS FOR UNSTABLE !!!!

-----------

THE PART WITH WIFIED KEN AND PARROT ON THE FLYING MACHINE MADE ME CACKLE. I have so many questions. it's all staged so why did parrot actually have them stay up all night. or at least it sounds like they did because of wifies reaction to being woken up. how tf did ken mistake an enderman for a person (probably cause he was half asleep). how did parrot pitch this part of the recording: "hey guys you wanna stay up all night to move these villagers. for the bit."

Also idk if anyone else but me noticed (i'm crazy) but in the scene where uu!parrot meets up with uu!ken before they do the villager thing the track that plays is the same track from the proton escape vid during the end screen. I think it's cool cause it's like picking back up from where things left off last video (pulling uu!ken's stasis and the viewer not seeing if it worked to now confirmation that yes, uu!ken is alright).

Also I think it's cool how uu!ken and uu!parrot always seem to oppose each other in recent videos. uu!ken who at the end of everything still has a home, still has a stasis in the overworld, still has a way to be free vs uu!parrot who doesn't have that. uu!parrot who has no place to call home, who can't return to the overworld, who can't be free when he's trapped in the end.

it's cool because it's almost like a reverse on what they wanted during the proton escape. uu!ken who wants a place to be safe and if locking himself into a prison is the way to do it, then so be it (uu!parrot being locked in the end and "at least it's okay because i'm making a safe nation.") and uu!parrot who wants to get everyone free (uu!ken who now is one of the few who is able to freely go between every dimension as he pleases). i think it's really cool who their characters sort of oppose each other in this sense.

also uu!dean was really cool lol. i really liked having a guy who is sorta bad at the game and needs a place to go that the main character ends up doing everything for a lot. that and the whole "i'll remember it" quote at the end of the episode. parrot and wifies have seen nations be leveled to the ground, they both are probably numb to it. the new folks (emphasized by dean's character specifically) haven't ever experienced this sort of rise and fall before. to them this civilization was special, it's what saved them, how could they forget it?

sorry uu!dean for thinking you'd betray parrot in the civ vid and sorry uu!ken for thinking you'd betray parrot in the proton escape.

other random stuff from the video: ken has green and yellow fireworks and also the shield #branding, parrot constantly trying to go through the portal (it won't work), the update to cross dimension pearls being revealed by ken who has NO idea why this could be bad (everyone else in the call panicked), and also how while parrot is losing his mind about the mole wifies and ken are just having a silly little chat in the sewer lol

[ww2yaoi]

THIS IS LONG AS FUCK LMAO IM SO SORRY IN ADVANCE I REALLY JUST STARTED YAPPING but i saw your post abt mota characters being underdeveloped compared to other hbo war shows and had some Thoughts

this is something i’ve heard mentioned on a couple reviews from historian guys on youtube and podcasts etc. i’m honestly not sure how much of it is intentional and how much of it is a result of weird pacing and writing decisions made due to budget cuts or episode numbers being reduced or whatever but it is something i thought was interesting:

basically the way the show treats its characters is kinda reflective of the way the air war itself was for the men involved: at first you’d would arrive on base and make close friends and develop rapport with each other a la buck bucky curt croz etc. but then the attrition sets in - someone like curt dies, more and more crews disappear, and on base it’s like they never existed. you get jaded. it becomes harder to get close to the new guys because you know they’re more than likely gonna be dead after the next mission, or you will be, and they’ll have to deal with losing you. this is kinda reflected in the scene after buck n bucky meet rosie. ‘when we go down they won’t remember us either’ etc.

the show kinda does this with the characters it introduces. u meet the main guys in the beginning and get sort of familiar with them, enough to be attached, and then curt fucking dies. if you aren’t well versed in the real history (like i wasn’t) then you have no damn idea who’s surviving to the end, and that makes you approach the remaining leads a little differently. when buck goes down you don’t really know if you’ll see him again. ‘they wouldn’t kill him it’s austin butler’ but they killed barry keoghan already soooo maybe they will? maybe bucky is the main lead now? it’s hard to know who’s safe to stay invested in.

and then obviously we follow bucky through his little romp through germany and then the stalag, (which is tense as fuck because WE DONT KNOW IF HES SAFE NARRATIVELY SPEAKING) but when it switches back to base there’s no mention of him or buck after the initial loss. like they never existed. we get rosie and croz, and a bunch of brand new crews who we mostly don’t recognize and who blend together so easily we have no idea if they survive or not because we don’t care and neither does the show. there is not space to care (diagetically if youre a pilot because you stop putting effort in to get acquainted w them just to lose someone again, and irl because the show stops putting effort in to distinguish them from each other).

guys we even sort of recognize or give a fuck about like nash die immediately. or (this one is kinda a stretch bc obviously their storyline getting forgotten about probably isn’t intentional but) with quinn and bailey when their plot gets dropped you can look at it like the guys on base who cared about them have also died or been shot down, so they’re no longer important to follow. and when buck returns to base in 9 who greets him? croz and rosie. almost nobody else who remembers him is still around. they either died or went to the stalag with him, or to other ones like it.

the show essentially ends up mirroring its characters: starting out with the promise of brotherhood and wartime camaraderie and friendship etc etc and then having it UTTERLY SHATTERED by the realities of the kind of war they are fighting.

it’s honestly fascinating to me. i’ve very rarely experienced a show with a supposedly ensemble cast at the start where the ensemble aspect kind of just gets destroyed and the characters are all killed or permanently split up partway through.

yeah that’s interesting and you have good points. I wasn’t really talking about their bonds with each other though, more so their individual character arcs and personality traits that were often shallow or not fleshed out entirely. I understand not having much of a supporting cast because these men were so expendable, but there were characters like macon and alex etc. who could’ve been given more to do. people have even argued (I don’t know if I entirely agree) that buck and bucky had shallow characterization as well. I think it’s good that you can find that kind of meaning in the show but I don’t think the show does that great of a job at hitting home these points and kind of just arrives there incidentally

then there’s the question of why even adapt this material if it’s not very well suited for a narrative story in the first place. and people can argue about that I’m not gonna touch it lol

but I see your point. I just don’t think the show was that intentional about the way it handled its character arcs. it feels more like things just falling by the wayside than intentional thematic choices

[chocottang]

(looks at the time, midnight) perfect time for posting!

silly little animatic for a silly little au i will yap about under the cut. but basically, the shadows are humans, and gold is the illegitimate son of mr. golden, so he has to deal with lots of shit. also i KNOW the audio is not synced but IM NOT editing that again. i refuse

ok i will probably not make an actual comic or anything for the au so ill just tell you all about it rn even though im eepy and thus will probably forget things. also i didnt read through All Of That a second time so im sorry if theres mistakes or incomprenhensible sentences

uhhh the idea came to me bc i wanted to make human versions of shadows, but i thought itd be boring if all the shadows were just twins of their human with the exact same trauma. dont get me wrong its very interesting to see two characters deal with the same issues very differently but when its ALL of the pairs it can get boring (to ME, this is just my own feelings). so i went hey, famous people seem to never stop cheating, what if we did that instead? and boom gold illegitimate son was born. also when i say mr. golden i dont mean golden's dad, i mean golden and joy's grandpa. I KNOW. GROSS. thats kinda the point. it also wasn't like, a one night stand that went wrong, this man had a whole ass second family. technically not cheating though bc his wife was already dead, but still not good.

so. gold was just living his silly little normal life with his mom and semi-absent father (they would say he was just very busy with work and travelled abroad and all that, which is the exact same excuse he'd give golden when he want visit gold)(also gold's mom was very much aware of the whole thing from the start) when suddenly him and his mom got into a car accident. gold got scars and a broken arm, while his mom took most of the blow. her upper body was mostly okay bc gold was able to see the car coming from her side and instinctively pulled his mom away, but he could only move her upper body to the side, and her lower back and legs took the blow. so, with his mom hospitalized, the authorities obviously asked him to call his dad to come over. so he did, and mr. golden showed up. and obviously the news immediatly caught on to this and made it a scandal. the local rich old guy with a company that has always had a brand of helping society with their innovations turned out to have a second family, and a son who is around his grandchildren's age. how could u NOT report that. anyways, gold's mom needs to be hospitalized for AT LEAST a couple of months, so gold moves in with his dad. and of course, has to face his dad's "official" family.

now, gold had known that he was "illegitimate" for a while now. it was kind of impossible to ignore with golden's popularity. but he had never really processed it fully, it was sort of an unspoken thing that everyone in the household was aware everyone else knew, but no one wanted to mention it. as if by doing so it would suddenly become real and break the illusion of their "perfect" little family. but now he has to deal with the hard truth (and new trauma due to the car crash! yay!). he decides to try and "compensate" the heavy blow that his dad's reputation took for his, uh, existance, and decided to start helping around the company. he immediatly starts taking way too much work, because he feels guilty and wants to feel validated by his dad, to feel like he's also his "real" family, that he deserves to be called his son. and also because he never got that much attention from him anyways. he's now deathly afraid of losing his family, after almost losing his mom, so he tries his absolute best to be everything his dad wants and do everything he says. he was always kind of a pushover, because his dad was always emotionally distant and bareley showed up, but he had his mom around to compensate, but now that he feels he could lose her at any moment, that flaw skyrocketed in intensity.

that attitude also translates with the rest of the family, especially the cousins: golden, joy and jay. golden DOES NOT trust gold. he's convinced that gold started working in the company because he only wants the money, or the fame, or maybe the whole company (since gold would technically be before golden in the heritage, itd be much easier). but that's mostly his own trauma regarding feeling used for money by almost everyone he loves acting up. golden also dislikes gold bc he reminds him of the things he hates about himself, bending over backwards just to get affection from the old fart. soo yeah golden has issues and gold kind of embodies all of them (like a shadow. get it. haha.)

joy tries VERY hard to be nice to gold and seem accepting and like she's okay with all of this but she has very conflicting feelings. she always kind of idealized her grandpa, so knowing that he actually sucks is kind of driving her crazy (she is unaware of how much golden is fucked up bc honestly shes got fucked up in similar ways, having to appeal to her parents for affection and working her ass off as a maid basically, so it just seems normal). also, she feels iffy about gold, she doesn't distrust him like golden, she truly believes gold is just a normal kid, but she's VERY frustrated about the fact that he started working for the company just like that. she always wanted to work alongside her grandpa, she thought the company's ideals were lovely, but she was always shut off because she's a girl. so she explored her passion for music, which was encouraged, but only as a hobby, while golden got to make a succesful career out of it with the help of the family. and now this random kid who had never had ANYTHING to do with the company is working for it and being taught everything she wanted to know. it's completely unfair and it makes her seethe. but she knows its not gold's fault, and she keeps excusing her family, so she just hides it and hides it and tries to pretend she's okay with all of this.

jay is the only person who seems to be ok with gold. she loves attention and she hates being bored, so a sudden family scandal that gives them tons of media attention and makes all of her posts blow up is literally perfect for her. and it's all thanks to gold! she doesn't find him especially interesting as a person, but everything surrounding him is. and hes a total pushover! so she gets to make him carry her stuff, do things for her and crack jokes at his expense all she wants. she also just finds is funny that he's technically her uncle. gold knows that she's taking advantage of him, but he doesn't mind that much, because she at least doesnt hate him like golden and joy seem to do. and sometimes she's not an asshole, sometimes she genuinly enjoys his presence. let's just say that the bar is in hell

also. if i did things right u will probably tell that gold is fat, especially in comparison to the cousins. and thaaats because the golden family is actually naturally fat, but grandpa encouraged them to be thin to "protect them from the media". golden and jay have quite unhealthy habits, while joy just eats healthy and exercises, which is why she's not stick thin. since gold was never meant to be in the public eye he was allowed to just exist so hes a normal kid who doesnt give a fuck. other design notes, the broken arm and scars represents gold's face markings and completely black hand. and i gave him glasses because everyone gives him glasses and i think thats awesome

also uhh he becomes friends with the villains (who are the student council)nbecause owynn wants to get that golden family clout. gold joins the council as an assistant because hey! being useful! he's good at that and it may earn him a friendship. there he meets cami and they immediately recognize that they're similar. always doing what someone asks, always so serious, always calm and efficient, working towards their goal, never taking up space. soo they spends more time together (also bc gold is her assistant) and start leaning on each other. they become close. they also like that they're so blunt with everyone and each other, it makes conversation easier for them. and also they have a crush on each other because of course they do im PREDICTABLE.

uhhh idk if i have anything left to say if u read all of that hi. i love you

[whalefill]

please tell us more abt your walkingdead hyperfixation i promise we'll be nice abt it!!! your art is stunning!!!

oh god ok well thank you firstly

basically here's the thing I really have a lot of problems with the walking dead, i've never read the comics or played the game so my only reference is the tv show which ran for way too long and went through too many writers (who only share ONE quality consistently and thats being fucking weird! it's so fucking racist and I wish more people talked about that!!!)

it feels like the story is just completely lost along the way which I think most people can agree on. so my hyperfixation is on twd but mainly all of the ways that I would not SQUANDER its potential if I were the one writing it

but I'm not taking 11 seasons worth of bullshit and meticulously altering each part of it to my tastes because I'm not that dedicated. I'm taking the premises of the characters that I really like, or are necessary to the plot, and making them brand new. like basically just ocs at this point.

but enough yapping im gonna tell you some actual details of the rewrite

- Rick, now named River, is an ex-firefighter rather than an ex-cop. because you cannot ever be a hero if you are a fucking cop. sorry. he and Shane (no new name yet) and their wretched codependent brother/best friend situation have enchanted me mind and soul so I have to physically restrain myself from making the rest of this post about them , but just know he beats Shane to death in the equivalent of Hershel's barn as its in flames and he walks away permanently marred with burns. he's also much much more mentally ill in my version. this guy has disorders like you wouldn't believe. disorders out the wazoo

- the character i would say I'm keeping the most true to the show is Daryl, even down to his name. all I've done is hit him with the transgenderfication beam. and also the autismfication beam. but both of these things are so plain to me in the source material that they barely feel like big changes

- Maggie is now named Madeline (Mads for short). she undergoes a genuine corruption arc here, because as each member of her family is picked off by pointless feuds she eventually has no empathy left for people that aren't already close to her heart. she deserves to be irredeemably insane. which is why she's the one to jail my version of Negan, not Rick like in the show, and she tortures him before eventually killing him. (IT'S SO DESERVED. SHE LOSES HER BABY TO HIM IN MY VERSION)

and don't get me started on Carol .. that woman needs to be a butch lesbian NOW 💔

- the apocalypse itself is also vastly different. it starts with a descent into major fascism in the west and the effects of it worldwide, and that's why the sickness is so quick to destroy civilization as a majority -- its just the last nail in the coffin. additionally, it's not really zombies anymore, they're not undead. just no longer human. because a disease that affects living things with appetites and some semblance of lingering intelligence and coordination is much, much scarier than the bumbling idiots in twd, and I have always, ALWAYS thought zombies were goofy.

maybe one day I'll have a concise document to share? I'm still working on it as a collaborative thing with my siblings who I dragged into watching the show with me, so I don't have it all figured out yet. ummmmmm. I'm gonna say that's all for now before this post really gets too long

THANKS FOR ASKING!!!!! and have a good day pls :)

[isimpfornatsume]

If your still alive can you do Tendou x reader but the reader has bullies or just sum random like hcs🙏🏾

Tendou x reader (Bullies)

Main masterlist

Haikyuu masterlist

Shiratorizawa masterlist

A/N: Hi! Thank you for requesting. Yes, I am alive. I just don’t update as often cos I’m lazy. I’m sorry if this was not what you might be thinking of. I hope you enjoy it! I’m really sorry it took me so long to write this. I wasn’t very sure about how Tendou behaves so I had to do some research and stuff. I really hope it isn’t to OOC. I'll add the link to the masterlists later.

"Well well. Would you look at that it's the famous Miss Girlfriend over here." One of your bullies said. He had the nicest dark blue hair ever with light blue eyes. You wonder why he even became a bully. With his looks, he could be popular without needing to bully people for attention. He's never hit you unlike the other two but he does say mean things.

"Did you think that getting a boyfriend now would mean that you would not be bullied again?" Your other bully said. He had red hair and green eyes and a single scar on his forehead that made him look intimidating. 

"Well, you're wrong. Your little boyfriend is busy with volleyball training so no one can save you now."The leader said. He has dark green hair and purple eyes. Not only does he look scary but he also sounds scary.

What have you done to upset those people? You would wonder. Well, a month ago, you accidentally spilt hot chocolate on the leader's brand-new white shirt. You offered an apology because you’re not someone who lacks manners. But they showed no understanding. Since then, you've been subjected to bullying. 

They always target you when your boyfriend, Tendou is at volleyball training. That way, no one can save you.

But they made their worst mistake choosing to bully you today. That was because Tendou did not have volleyball training. The training was cancelled.

"I wonder how your boyfriend can stand you. You're so ugly and dumb with not a single tinge of beauty. He doesn't deserve such a person like you." The red-haired bully said, pulling your hair.

"Yea. Other than Tendou there is no one who would save your pathetic ass." The leader said. Punching you in the guts. Then he kicked you in the back of your knees.

They continued beating you up and saying hurting words that constantly lowered your self-esteem. Until…

…

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" You heard someone in the distance screaming. The voice sounds oddly familiar and rather soothing. It took you a second to realise that the voice that you heard was Tendou. But didn't he have volleyball training?

You were about to question him but he interrupted. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER?!"

Being caught red-handed, the bullies have no choice but to run.

"What happen? Why are they bullying you? Who are they?" Your worried boyfriend started questioning.

"Chill Tendou. I can't answer that many questions at once." You laughed but regretted it immediately. "Owwww!"

"Oh my days. N/N are you ok? Do you need to go to the infirmary? The hospital?"

You smiled. "I think maybe the infirmary Tendou."

"Ok!" Tendou picked you up like a princess.

"Tendouuuu I can walk on my ownnnn" You whined not liking the stares that your getting from the few people who walk pass.

"Shh N/N. Just let me spoil you for once pretty please???"

There was no way you can ignore that cute wittle puppy eye that he was giving you. So you just sighed. Silently giving him permission to princess carry you.

Once you guys reach the infirmary, Tendou went to take the 1st aid kit and gingerly applied medicine on you. (A/N: idk how to describe sorry)

"N/N if there are anyone else who cares bully you I'll make sure their life is hell." Tendou said ruffled your hair affectionately.

The next day during morning assembly, you saw your three bullied on the stage. Your principal was yapping about them being a bully blah blah blah. You weren't quite listening.

You were busy wondering who on earth dared to report them. You looked at Tendou and saw him smiling back at you mouthing the words: "I reported them. Now no one will bully you again." Then he send you a flying kiss 😘

A/N: I'm really sorry I keep pushing the date of release. My devices was confiscated. I really hope you guys enjoyed this one! I apologize for any grammatical error and/or spelling errors.

[i2sunric]

hi <3 so this is gonna be a long ass jake request with two parts so bare with me as I explain my deepest desires lol

(1) firstly have you heard that song baby can I be your favorite something like this ?! I'm sure you did anyway there's a part in the song that goes "my name's whatever you make it" and first time I heard it I instantly thought that it sounds like something jake would say to a girl he's trying to hit on and is a simp for in the answer to what's your name ?! what should I call you ?! I feel like he would be the kind of man who would make you feel like you're the centre of his world, like he didn't exist before you he breathes for you, he's an idol now and making his fans feel so loved and special imagine how is s/o would be treated !! so therefore I was gonna request a SMUT something like a simp jake having a crush on one of his friend's friend and finally deciding to shoot his shot and he is just such a romantic man he would start the sugar coating and flirting right away !! but at the same time he would still be the one in control of your relationship regardless of how soft he is to you man is a scorpio he will dominate your life softly and fuck you harder than expected !!! also I would like to include a spoiling his girl with jewellery especially TiffanyAndCo that he's ambassador of !! like he would go design a whole cute ass ring with a very unique pink heart diamond on it just to give it to his girl (he wouldn't say it out loud probably but he would think to himself that this ring is a kind of his ownership over you so everyone would know who you belong to even if you're still not married) he would probably design and buy everything from any brand deal he gets for his girl as a surprise !! yeah that's it

(2) I saw this video on twitter that he says "what you gonna do in five seconds" in response to be my boyfriend for five seconds, and oh dear heavenly father the way he looks at the damn camera saying this ?!?!? I'm just on my knees instantly !! you know he's usually this cutie pie softie bubbly person running around being fun but then he suddenly shows his smart ass serious manly side and I just get physically shocked !! the way he looked dead seriously to the camera asking "what you gonna do with 5 seconds ?! tell me" it's like him showing that yeah I'm a cutie pie but at the end of the day you do as I tell you (NOT in a fake alpha wattpad daddy way BUT as in a mature guy even though he's younger than you but he's wise and smart and knows you so well way) so I would like to request yet another smut but also angst cause I'm sad and I wanna fight someone and who better than jake who would know his girls mood swings so well to let her cool off by pushing his limits until he ends up fucking the attitude out of her, it would be like the reader getting mad at him for the very small things and nagging constantly and picking up fighta until he's mad mad and he tries to hold her but she pushes his hand away harshly and he gets to the last level mad "okay you're done level" grabs her arm and take her to their room and ends up in fucking the frustration out of the reader

Here's the link to the video I yapped about for an hour:

https://twitter.com/baekwoniee/status/1743260394989461760?t=OUUCthiEMsNxNioS28JNzw&s=19

also I said younger than the reader cause he is two years younger than me and I know it's not much but still he's the first ever younger bias I have and it felt weird to begin with but now that I'm seeing underneath all that puppy like personality he's actually mature and a man I need in my life I'm getting along with it better but still please somehow include this in them writings (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

At the end I just wanted to share my thoughts and I can wait for a response as long as you need (you can fully ignore it too I don't mind) but yeah thank you in advance hahaha

-💘 The Yapper Anon

i’ve tried to write this three times but i really can’t get anything done 😭😭 i’m so sorry my dear yapper anon, maybe someone else can write it? cause you took your time to explain it perfectly </3

[storiesofsvu]

Sorry in advance for this length: Completely get what you mean!! Even writing the ideas out, I had to incorporate the personality of the show/what we know of the characters compared to just being able to say “prentiss smut” and calling it a day. (Also a big jimmy and sara shipper too…just love any and all paget character x reader fics haha) 

These are more ideas than “exact” requests if you see anything that sparks for you whether it’s the whole yap session I gave or just a small element. Thank you for considering <3 

Reader works at the restaurant in some capacity and is good friends with jimmy so always around in the ways Annelise is. Sara and Jimmy having a good co parent/grand parent relationship but without the yearning in the show. Jimmy picks up on Sara getting flustered around reader and teases her for it. She’s always asking questions about her work (maybe bartender and always asking “what goes in this drink?” “Can you make a ___?”) They become good friends and Sara feels content in that. Until she finds out reader is into women and cancelled on one of their hangouts for a date. She tricks jimmy or Annelise and Vanessa into going to this same restaurant to spy. She is caught in an embarrassing way and is forced to word vomit her feelings and immediately leaves. Reader shows up and confesses feelings back.

Reader is close to jimmy in a sisterly way. His dad and her dad were close and because of that, they just were always around each other. (But she’s never met Sara/Sara never knew of her). All of the odd quirks Sara is teased about, reader compliments/tells jimmy or anyone to lay off. They have a flirty relationship and during a night out with A, V, Sara and reader Sara mentions having “been bi” and reader says “well it’s not really something you can just stop” and Sara says “then I guess I still am” to which reader says “then you should let me take you out on a date” and the classic something like a drink spilled happens and the convo is dropped/forgotten (same as other idea, jimmy is aware of the feelings/not interested in sara in this). Because she’s so sworn off real feelings, she knows how happy she would be and starts to pull away whenever they are around each other. Eventually dating Craig just to get over those feelings (but he’s more immature/not the best guy here). After the weed fiasco, jimmy calls reader to pick up Sara bc he’s ✨ busy ✨. She does and Sara decides she doesn’t want to run from her feelings anymore. When reader drops off Craig she says “I think it’s best we stop seeing each other” and he just accepts it. Silent car ride to Sara’s and she invites reader in to talk.

And to smutify either of these ^

Similar to the episode, reader is the one who gives an emotional speech at jimmy’s dad’s funeral prompting Sara to follow after her for the kiss that gets interrupted.  Days later, Sara has to come by reader’s place and pick up something Evie left last time she babysat (specific book or toy) and as they’re searching for it, there is a eye lock moment that leads to another kiss and bow chica wow wow.

Okay, now that ive rewatched a few episodes im SO ready to start daydreaming this out!

Being a bartender myself imma have to go w the bartender idea & i absolutely love the super awkward getting caught while spying (and so on brand! 😂😂)

[austronauts]

i am returning with yet another brainrot episode [dodges booing and tomatoes being thrown] of me annotating mitch youtube content.

this podcast episode with connor was ADORABLE and revealed a side of him that we rarely ever see otherwise SO...it has made my mitch hyperfixation at LEAST 5x worse. I say this so i can warn you to listen at your own peril (i say listen rather than watch bc mitch is like..in 240p the whole time and at certain points looks SO BLURRY he looks like an impressionist painting of a twink. how very renoir of him tbh). 

I also recognize this video is long af (honestly i didnt know mitch knew this many words....very impressed) so i’m time-stamping every part that im annotating...... also this post got so long so i’m sorry. i KNOW i always say this but it’s bc im genuinely always surprised by my own verbose ass.,.,,,,.,,,,.,.,,,,, WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY IM JUST LIKE MITCH FR I NEED TO STOP YAPPING (morgan rielly voice: “just never shuts up”) 

1:35: mitch apparently loves oysters? honestly adding this only because it’s so cute when his face scrunches up and he throws his head back to laugh at 2:12 (also why is connor’s water glass so dirty what is HAPPENING)

3:21: mitch marner, self-proclaimed coffee aficionado and BEST coffee maker on the leafs, does not know what a chemex is. the look of blank confusion. i know what you are. a fraud who would rather be drinking capri suns and chocolate milk.

3:45: ok now we understand WHY mitch is always wearing a redbull hat (when he’s not wearing his recent assortment of ridiculous hat acquisitions like that powder blue hat with the HUGE BRIM or the orange prada bucket hat) - redbull just sends mitch HATS ON HATS ON HATS that he’s not even allowed to share as part of his agreement. i am now, in fact, asking redbull to send him EVEN MORE HATS so he’s less tempted to wear those hats he’s been wearing this off-season. redbull should just absolutely bury him in hats until he is no longer even visible. he’s not that big so it really shouldn’t take that many hats!!! that’s what i call a hat trick. that’s what i call cap space [booing from audience intensifies]

6:25: WHY is a CONNOR CARRICK MITCH MARNER PODCAST HOW I FIND OUT THAT PK SUBBAN AND LINDSEY VONN WERE ENGAGED?!?!! WHAT IN THE SPORTS ROYALTY?

7:14: just connor gassing mitch up and then chirping him for looking like a newborn foal when he entered the league (mitch then chirps himself for what he looked like with his shirt off lmao - it always surprises me how self-aware he seems to be and how comfortable he seems to be with himself? genuinely endearing tbh)

9:34: mitch talking about how formative visiting the children’s hospital in london (with christian dvorak) 1-2x a week was for him and the “legacy” he wants to build as a hockey player. like. as a cynical human i understand that this podcast is meant to be a fluff piece that’s beneficial for mitch’s reputation/brand, but as a human human i cannot help but be touched by how sincere mitch is about this. and more importantly, he’s shown it with his actions re: the genuine friendship he had with hayden, who mitch met during these hospital visits. 

11:54: hearing about mitch’s contract issues from mitch’s POV is pretty interesting, and i believe this is the most extensively he’s ever spoken about it? it makes so much sense that mitch’s biggest priority was not wanting to miss training camp and pre-season. and that he had ZERO intention of leaving the leafs. im forever genuinely flabbergasted by that contingent of leafs fans who thinks mitch was the one in the room negotiating with kyle/the leafs and playing games to squeeze every last dollar out of them? like DO THEY KNOW MITCH? THE TWITCH STREAMER? my. brother in christ, this guy does not even know what an encyclopedia is. my brother in christ, this guy called his finnish teammate “finlish.”  ANYWAY, he talks pretty openly about the impact the contract negotiations and pressure had on him mentally

17:40: connor: what is your favorite part of being a toronto maple leaf? mitch: my friends 🥺

19:54: mitch talking about how he just likes to check in “on his guys” and connor pointing out that whenever he gets an assist or a goal in a game, he still gets texts from mitch. WHICH IS. SO SWEET. as someone who is absolutely fucking terrible at keeping in touch with people i am JUST. SORRY TO BE A SAP BUT THATS SO SWEET OF HIM? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! IM GOING TO EAT HIM!!!!!!

20:30: THIS IS THE BEST PART LOWKEY - THE NIKE SHOES STORY DODOHFODHOSHSODASODHFAIDHFLWJEFKDLJKSAS. IF U WATCH NOTHING ELSE PLEASE WATCH THIS. THE DAY CONNOR GOT MOVED FROM THE LEAFS AND WAS SAD MITCH JUST SHOWED UP WITH A GIANT PILE OF SHOES TO GIVE CONNOR AND CONNOR HAD TO BE LIKE “MITCH? I AM MOVING? I CANNOT TAKE ALL THESE SHOES???” THIS IS THE MOST MITCH MARNER STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD I CANNOT LIKE IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IF I READ IT IN A FIC I WOULDVE BEEN LIKE “LMAOOO THIS AUTHOR NAILED MY HEADCANON OF MITCH BUT IRL MITCH WOULD NEVER DO THAT” BUT NO! HE DOES! HE HAS! the fairy godmother only gave cinderella one pair of glass slippers but mitch marner will show up at your doorstep with 10+ pairs of emotional support nikes that he’s been trying to give you for MONTHS because he loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

24:45: Mitch talking about how the award he’d want to win the most is the Selke - and given how great Mitch has been this past season offensively AND defensively AND on the PP AND on the PK??? give minch the selke send tweet. 

28:30: when Mitch was drafted by London he was 5′6″ and 125lbs DLKDLKSJA HE WAS fucking TEENSY! please! i 100% could have carried him around in a fanny pack with my wallet and keys and a granola bar and the 3-4 random crumpled receipts from walgreens

30:16: “whenever people ask me what it was like playing with mitchy, i always tell them he has the ability to rubiks’ cube the game.” i LOVE This and i will be using this expression from now on, even though i have never solved a rubik’s cube and never will!

46:20: I would say this is the 2nd really meaty part of this podcast? It’s where Connor and Mitch talk about Mitch’s draft day experience. When Mitch talks about how NERVOUS he was when Toronto went up to draft their 4th pick i started laughing because if you watch the 2015 draft video you can SEE JUST HOW PETRIFIED AND TERRIFIED AND CLOSE TO SHITTING HIMSELF THEN THROWING UP THEN FAINTING AND DISINTEGRATING INTO A PILE OF DRIED UP LEAVES MITCH LOOKS LMAO. like that boy was on the brink of death. also, really interesting details behind Phoenix Coyotes drafting Dylan at third right before Mitch here!

51:47: The 3rd meaty (auston-y :---))))) ) part of this podcast: Mitch talking about THE BABCOCK INCIDENT where babcock made mitch grade his teammates on work ethic. Mitch talks about it with a lot of levity and positivity tbh but hearing mitch even joke and laugh about it makes me sad because it clearly was a really awful experience for him to go through as a rookie. knowing how close mitch was and is to those 3 guys at the bottom - tyler bozak, naz, JVR (his recent italian escapade buddy) - is definitely comforting tho. BOOING BABCOCK FOREVER FOR THIS TBH. like WHAT were you aiming to get out of this and why the hell would you ever put a ROOKIE in this impossible situation?

55:46: THE FINAL MEATY PART OF THIS PODCAST: THE MATT MARTIN SECTION. honestlyyyyY. just watch this part from beginning to end pls because mitch clearly loves and treasures matt SO much and there’s SO much here that will make you want to gnaw gnaw gnaw chew chew chew scream ferally and SUE connor carrick for your upper body injury (heart hurts)... but anyway, a few highlights: 

Mitch calling Marty a protector, a big brother, and “how big of a mentor he was to me” - i WILL CRY!!!!!!! I WILL!!!!! THATS MY FAVE LEAFS SHIP RIGHT THERE 

“He was all for me shooting a puck off his leg or his ass.”  every other time Mitch opens his mouth he says something that makes me go “wait ..what did he say?” and have to re-listen. this is one of those moments

the FUNNIEST story about how connor and matt almost fought when they played for different teams because matt found connor so annoying. i won’t spoil the details but i - i def cackled out loud

“you just felt 2 feet taller with matt around” 🥺🥺🥺 ok that’s fine tHATS FINE 

OH GOD. THE worst part: Mitch talks about how Matt and Syd would always invite him over and make sure Mitch never felt alone his rookie year, and how this experience of feeling included and loved by Matt shaped the kind of teammate/friend Mitch tries to be aka making sure his home and heart are always open to his teammates. I....I’M. Y’ALL. HOLD MY HAND AND STAY WITH ME BECAUSE LIKE - think about the way bogo (esp when his family was away during covid) and justin lived with mitch and how the leafs all clearly love mitch so much and how mitch says he always tries to be the positive energy guy for his team AND I JUST .  LETHAL PSYCHIC DAMAGE SUFFERED FROM THIS PART OF THE PODCAST TBH BRAIN JUST LEAKIN OUT THROUGH MY EARHOLES AS I CRAWL INTO A CORNER. Matt Martin drop your location right now and square up because i will fight you right now for what you’ve done. how DARE you and mitch marner, 2 rich white men i absolutely do not know, make me want to be a better kinder person....i...pretend i do not see it...i pretend i do not feel it.

1:02:58: Yes this podcast is over an hour long and i watched all of it ahahahah1!! haHA! anyway, mitch thanking the frontline workers - very sincere and endearing and mitch-y (aka causing little brain blips of complete confusion - like why did he call the UPS... “ups”? is this a canadian thing? also him thanking the WIFI PEOPLE FJDLKDJLDDSDSSDAKJLDDFLFJFKJLDSJLDKFAJL lmfaofjldjDDKS lmfaofofoofofOFOFO okay)

But seriously the entire podcast is extremely endearing and it’s still the off-season so please do watch the whole thing if you have a chance! then come yell with me about it u know i love to yell