#i know the only thing it does is annoy people

[supermassiveblackholeeyes]

Note: I wrote these at least twice but I can't find the last one.

1: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

yes. more so with my dad than my mom, but overall - yes.

2: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

margarita

3: Do you regret anything?

yes a lot of things. esp regarding my studying and career choices.

4: Are you insecure?

I thought I was not but I realized that yes, I am a bit. Regarding my body and youknowwhat.

5: What is your relationship status?

Single as always LMAOO kai-

6: How do you want to die?

I want to be able to tell the people who love me dearly that I will be alright and that I am extremely happy for the life and love I got to live and feel - After I tell them all this, and then I don't know.

7: What did you last eat?

lots of chocolates and now I'm not feeling good

8: Played any sports?

I kinda tried to learn tennis but I couldn't, was fine while it lasted though. I'm hoping I'll learn skiing or snowboarding this year. or boxing. I'll be very very content and happy if I do. (psst or calistenics)

9: Do you bite your nails?

just the ... skin around...........

10: When was your last physical fight?

have never had a serious physical fight I think. but slapped my sister a few days ago nothing serious. BECAUSE she pissed me off ok?

11: Do you like someone?

nope. A fictional crush Vi yes. but apart from that noooo. or maybe? no. or maybe....

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

wow. no.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Hate is a strong word. many do annoy me but I love them all. I hate many government officials though. obviously.

14: Do you miss someone?

Yes my relative who is in the states.

15: Have any pets?

YESYESYES. I have a cat and a little dog. one is 3 and the other is 1. and also two dogs. but the first two are the ones I am close to and love veryverymuch.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I am feeling a bit stressed and over stimulated. and annoyed. I don't know the exact reason why. maybe because I haven't left the house for days even though I wanted to. and I am angry at everybody who I could've gone out with but I did not.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

no just a peck on the lips but friendly.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Yes.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yes. Yes. A hundred times yes.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

I'll search up what that is n come back to yall.

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

I don't even know what day it is.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I go from no to yes a lot. so it was yes for a long while and now, like now these past weeks I feel like I don't want any? I am a confused individual so I truly don't know. but if I do I want 2. a girl first and then a boy.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Noo. Only have ear piercings. I'm getting the itch to have some more either on the side of my nose, or brows, or lips. but I don't like the permanent scar that it leaves so I guess I'm good without them.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Now this question made me sad. because once, centuries ago, it was maths. and now? I do not know... Nothing. I really am good at nothing for now.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

I always miss at least someone. I miss my relatives who are in the states... I miss my friends who were once my neighbors (or maybe the times I spent with them). I miss everybody always.

26: What are you craving right now?

A good balanced meal. A big jug of room temp water. My room and a new gym membership.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

I've never been anything.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Not boyfriendboyfriend or girlfriendgirlfriend but I think maybe... but of course not on purpose

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Everything. the temperature in the house. people. my friends. this country. the world. humankind and everyone.

31: Does somebody love you?

Idk about romantic love but other than that of course. :)

32: What is your favourite color?

Black. navy blue. pink. green. pink and green together. green and red together.

33: Do you have trust issues?

yes, but I also have trust issues towards myself because I don't remember shit.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

A reaaaaaally weird and creepy dream that I was in a huge, tall hotel on the last floor and it was all dark except of the last floor where I was and I was shitscared. another was that some ti tu shkbi found me and found out I was spreading info about them (which I was not) and tried to beat me up but fortunately I was the one who beat them up in the end.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My sister.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Not really?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

easier to forgetttt. I am not forgiving sh1

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no but it was the best year after 2019 at least.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

... girl don't ask.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no? tf.

51: Favourite food?

Maybe sushi? And there is this bomb ass tofu salad I love that too. and a nice pizza, there was one in Italy with some pears on it. fantastic. also anything with truffle. I love food... I also kinda became a pescatarian this year, Which I thought would never happen. Oh and add khinkali to the list!

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

No. I think that's a bit selfish and evil to think so. Not everybody deserves the things that happen to them. I believe more in the "meant to be"... that not everything can be predicted.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Unfortunately nothing. I did dance a bit and daydream, and ate an orange before that.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

nope. Unless the partner is like ab*sive or a cheater themselves. or something veryveryveryveryveryvery bad and you can't get out of the relationship.

55: Are you mean?

I-... I try not to be? I truly think I am not. I just.. sometimes ON accident I am mean.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

bruh... none.

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yea... Starting to doubt it a BIT. but yes. Also when I say doubt it I mean doubt that there is the ONE that is meant for you.

58: Favourite weather?

Spring weather... late may. When you can wear jeans/pants and a short-sleeve on top. and some sneakers. my fav.

59: Do you like the snow?

Yes. haven't experienced it in a long time.

60: Do you wanna get married?

yea........................................... I think?.......

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Woof woof. Yes.

62: What makes you happy?

When I have my sh1t together. So eating good balanced meals, sleeping well, reading, ditching scrolling and daydreaming, GOOD GRADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my family, good weather, the sea, going out with friends in the evening when the weather is nice, food. which I already said... When I am good at something. Nice and pretty clothes (good quality fabric), pretty thrifted shoes, good skincare. Beauty.

63: Would you change your name?

No I love my name.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Yea I have issues.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Reject them-

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

YES.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Just talked to? my stepfthr.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Maybe my sister? I don't know.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe you are meant to meet certain people.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

yes.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[eggyrocks]

OVERNIGHT: SAKUSA K. in an empty bar on new year's eve, sakusa meets a girl, and he can't bring himself to say goodbye

tags/warnings: sakusa x f!reader, meet cute, new years, strangers to lovers, timeskip, alcohol mention, ooc sakura, background atsuhina, flirting via gossip, just lonely people finding each other

word count: 3.4k

It’s New Year's Eve, and Sakusa is alone. 

Unless you count Atsumu and Hinata, tucked into a corner and drunkenly singing into fake microphones (because the bar doesn’t offer real karaoke), to an eighties pop-ballad. Or the old man stoically sitting in a cracked leather booth, gripping a half-empty glass of scotch that it looks like he’s been drinking since the seventies. Or the bartender who has not once looked up from his phone in the past twenty minutes and would clearly rather be at a better bar. Or the girl who’s collapsed onto the bartop, face hidden by her arms and her second drink empty besides her. 

Which Sakusa doesn’t. So, he’s alone. 

If he had his way, he’d be at home. He would be asleep by the time the clock struck midnight, and he would wake up to the new year. But Sakusa doesn’t have his way, because apparently the words no, I don’t want to go out, don’t have the same weight they used to, and two idiots will show up at your door and drag you out, anyways. 

He looks over his shoulder. Two more hours until New Years, and Atsumu and Hinata are already drunk, arms sloppily thrown over each other’s shoulders, leaning on each other for support. Maybe Bokuto has the right idea, and getting into a serious relationship is the only sure-fire way to avoid nights like this. 

Sakusa glances over to the bartender, who’s adjusted his position so he could plug in his phone to charge. He then glances over to the old man, and it looks like he hasn’t moved an inch, but there’s definitely less scotch in his glass now. And then, he looks to his left, to the girl who’s face down at the bar.

Sakusa eyes her, a bit. He wonders if she’s okay, or if she’s just that drunk. This thought concerns him, and it annoys him. Because if she’s so drunk that she can’t sit up, it sort of becomes his problem. He can’t just leave her here, limp and unmoving in a sketchy bar with none of her friends around. 

He contemplates saying something to her, and has already decided against poking at her arm to try and rouse her. His mouth opens underneath his mask to say something, but Sakusa closes it. He doesn’t know what the proper thing is to say. 

“I can feel you staring at me,” comes a muffled voice from the lump of limbs that is the girl at the bar. “I’m not passed out, I’m just miserable.” 

Sakusa’s face heats up at the notion of being caught, and his shoulders stiffen up. “Um, okay,” he says. 

The girl straightens up, slightly groaning as she does so. When she turns to face Sakusa, he has the thought that she’s actually pretty, if you ignore the indents left on her face from it being pressed against the bar. “Are you here alone?” she asks. 

“No, I’m with them over there,” he says, gesturing behind him towards Atsumu and Hinata, answering without realizing it. “Unfortunately.” 

She spins around on the barstool to get a good look at them, and when she spins back around, her shoulders are slumped and the corners of her mouth are downturned into a pout. Sakusa almost laughs at the way her expressions are so dramatized. But he doesn’t, his mouth remains pressed in a flat line. 

“I’m here alone,” she explains, though she doesn’t have to, Sakusa figured. Unless she was here with the old man or the world’s rudest bartender. “I was supposed to go out with my friend tonight, but that didn’t work out,” she says, and then pauses, like she’s waiting for Sakusa to ask her about it. He doesn’t say anything. 

“It’s pretty depressing,” she comments, resting her cheek on her hand, “being alone on New Year’s. I feel like a fucking loser.” 

“Not that bad,” Sakusa comments, twisting his hands together in his lap. “It’s how I would’ve preferred to spend the night.” 

In the corner of the bar, the singing duo of Atsumu and Hinata trails off, and the sound of their silence turns Sakusa’s head. He peers over his shoulder again to see them both, clinging onto each other, in hysterics, laughing silently as they grip at each other. 

There’s a small lurch in Sakusa’s gut, though he can’t quite place it. He turns his attention back to the girl. 

“Your friends seem fun,” she comments. “And you seem kind of like a buzzkill.” 

Sakusa bristles, though he supposes he has no reason to be offended. All she knows about him is that he’s sitting at a bar, pouting, while his loud, drunk friends have more fun than him. “I’m not the one alone at a bar on New Year’s,” he retorts half-heartedly.

He expects her to be equally as offended as he was, but she doesn’t seem to be. She just sort of shrugs, looking deflated. “I mean, you’ve got me there.” 

She removes the heel of her palm from her cheek and drags the tip of her finger along the rim of her empty glass. He’s sure she would go for another one if the bartender was paying closer attention. She looks lonely. And maybe he’s just bored. Maybe he feels bad for insulting her. Maybe he just feels the same. But, regardless, he has this odd urge to keep her company. And that odd urge makes him ask, “What happened with your friend?” 

She sighs. “It’s kind of a long story.” 

“I have time,” Sakusa replies.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

The bartender pulled himself away from his phone long enough to top off their drinks, and now Sakusa’s body feels warm. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he says, words dragged out by the alcohol in his veins. 

“See, that’s exactly what I’m saying!” she exclaims. Sakusa’s noticed that the more she drinks, the more expressive she gets. She waves around her arms and speaks with her hands and slams them down on the bartop when she gets too excited. “Because it would’ve been fine if she didn’t have the money for rent one time, I don’t mind covering if she’s going through it, but obviously she did have the money, and she just wanted to use it for her stupid birthday party and then not invite me.” 

Sakusa’s eyes feel heavier than they did before. There’s an hour-twenty until the new year. He’s more invested in her story-telling than he thought she would be. “So she was essentially asking you to pay for a party that you weren’t invited to.” 

“Isn’t it such a dick move?” she questions excitedly, like she’s ecstatic to have someone agree with her, to tell her she’s right, even if it is a half-drunk stranger at a bar. “And, it’s like she was going for the biggest dick in the universe award, because on top of all of that, she just straight up lied to me about that stupid party and told me her parents were taking her out for dinner. Like, do you think I’m an idiot? We have the same friends. We literally live together. I’m not that stupid.”

Sakusa likes listening to her talk. She has a pretty voice. He likes listening to it, hearing when it cracks or when it rises an octave. She’s gotten prettier, too. It might have something to do with the drink in his hands, but it’s like she has this soft glow that emits from her, soft and warm. And despite her raging, Sakusa feels a smile tug at the corner of his lips. He’s abandoned his mask in favor of drinking, so it’s out in the open, there for her to see. 

She doesn’t notice, though, she’s caught up in her storytelling, talking loudly to eclipse the music that plays. “And I wasn’t going to say anything at first, because I was really trying to keep the peace until I was able to move out, but then I found out that she was talking-” 

“Omi!” 

She is cut off by Atsumu, properly drunk and not even attempting to hide it. “We were gonna walk back to my place so me and Sho could count down the New Year there. Wanna come?” 

“No,” Sakusa answers sharply. Atsumu tosses an arm over his shoulder and it nearly makes Sakusa shudder. He shoves Atsumu’s hot, sweaty arm off of him, and Atsumu pays no mind to this, just switches his embrace over to Hinata, who flanks him with his eyes fluttering shut. “Can’t you just stay here?” 

“This bar sucks,” Hinata whines, head flopping onto Atsumu’s shoulders, and Sakusa can swear he sees the bartender glare at him from the corner of his eye. “Come back with us, I hate it here.” 

Hinata seemed to like it plenty twenty minutes ago when he was singing his lungs out to city pop, Sakusa’s not exactly sure what’s changed since then. And while he’s trying to figure it out, Atsumu seems to notice that Sakusa’s not exactly alone at the bar anymore. 

“You can bring the hot girl back with you, if you want, I don’t care,” Atsumu says, which earns him a light whack upside the head. 

“Don’t be a dick,” Sakusa chastises him. He looks back at the girl at the bar, and he realizes then that he never asked her name. “I’m sorry about him, he’s a jackass.” 

She has this expression on her face that seems half-way between uncomfortable and amused. “Don’t worry about it,” she says. “And you don’t have to stay here on my account. I was probably going to head home soon, anyways.” 

That’s a lie, Sakusa thinks, and he’s irritated with the interruption. He wants to know what she was going to say next. He wants to know exactly how it is that she ended up here, alone. “No, you were talking. I want to hear the rest of your story.” 

Hinata perks up. “Sakusa, just stay here and talk to your new friend, and we’ll just go back.” 

“Yeah,” Atsumu agrees, “you don’t ever make new friends. We don’t wanna ruin it for you.” 

Sakusa hopes she doesn’t notice the way his face starts to burn up. “I don’t trust you two to get back. You’re too drunk, you’ll end up frozen in a park by morning.” 

“You know,” she interrupts, and Sakusa turns to look at her, “if you guys walked, I wouldn’t mind going with you. I could finish my story on the go.” 

Sakusa blinks. 

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

She’s bundled up for the cold, a knit hat pulled down over her ears and a thick scarf wrapped around her neck several times. And even though her hands are covered by a pair of mittens, she still shoves them deep into the pockets of her jacket, trying to shield them further from the wind. Sakusa cannot stop thinking about how cute he finds this. 

They walk several paces behind Atsumu and Hinata, who, since leaving the bar, have not detached from each other. Still, Sakusa can hear their laughter, and he wonders if there was a reason he had to be dragged out tonight, if it was just going to be those two all over each other. 

For some reason, though, he feels more appreciative of it now. 

“I think your friends are in love with each other,” she comments, voice slightly muffled from the scarf that obscures her mouth. 

Sakusa scoffs. “Yeah, it’s been like this for a while. Tonight might be their breaking point.” 

The wind blows between them. There’s old, icy snow on either side of them. The sidewalk is gray and covered in salt. The night looks as cold as it feels, and Sakusa can feel it run down his spine. His jacket’s too thin for the wind. He shivers, and she looks up at him. 

“Here,” she says, grabbing at the end of her scarf and unraveling it from her neck. “Take this.” 

“No, you don’t have to-” Sakusa starts, but is cut off when she tosses the scarf around the back of his neck, and throws the end of it over his shoulder. 

Sakusa blanks, for a moment, stunned. The scarf smells warm, like cinnamon, and when it touches the back of his neck, he gets goosebumps. “Thanks,” he says. 

She pulls the hood of her jacket up over her head to make up for the loss. “You looked too cold. It was making me colder.” 

“So what happened next?” Sakusa questions, and she looks at him with a raised brow. “In your story. You said you were trying to keep the peace with your roommate, and then you got cut off. What happened next?”

For a moment, she looks at Sakusa, and she smiles. It feels nice to be on the receiving end of it. It eases a strain in Sakusa’s chest that he didn’t even realize was there. “Yeah, right. I was going to try and keep the peace, but then I found out she was talking to my ex-boyfriend behind my back, and that was like, the whole reason she didn’t want to invite me to her party in the first place. Which, I mean, if they’re going to talk, fine, that’s none of my business, but I just think it’s so weird to choose a man you’re not dating over your friend. Especially because no one was making her choose!” 

She immediately falls back into her animated retelling, and Sakusa notices that her pace is matching his. He listens, and watches as their footprints leave faint, matching prints in the salt and dust of the sidewalk. 

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

The scarf makes him warmer. So does her voice. Sakusa gets so caught up in it he doesn’t realize they’ve reached Atsumu’s apartment. 

“Hey Omi!” Atsumu calls from the front door, her and Sakusa still lagging several feet behind them. “Are you going to come up?” 

“No,” he replies, “I’m gonna walk her home.” 

From the corner of his eye, Sakusa can see her look up at him in surprise, her raised eyebrows hidden under the hood of her jacket. It makes him smile, despite himself. 

Atsumu shrugs. He takes Hinata’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers. “Alright man, I get you. See you next year!” 

Once Atsumu and Hinata have disappeared, she says, “You don’t have to walk me home, y’know.” 

“Yes I do,” Sakusa counters. “It’s late, you can’t walk back alone. Plus you haven’t finished your story yet.” 

She hasn’t, and Sakusa needs her too. She was in the middle of telling him about how her roommate’s mother sent her a scathing letter, and Sakusa’s too invested to give up on it now. Her mouth twists into a smile, like she’s fighting it. “My apartment’s kinda far from here.” 

And despite her warning, she turns, and starts walking back in the direction she came from, and Sakusa follows, eagerly falling back into place and matching her step. “Gives you plenty of time to finish what you were saying.”

“You know, I’m surprised you actually care this much,” she tells him, half-teasing. Her gloves hand brushes against him as her arms swing. “You kinda seemed like the type who loves not caring about shit.” 

He doesn’t want to be offended, because she’s right, but he is. Sakusa’s irked that that’s her perspective on him, and he’s irked that he does care so much. “I just wanna know how I ended up meeting you tonight.” 

Sakusa watches from the corner of her eye as she tilts her head, and she makes this little noise of contemplation in the back of her throat that gives Sakusa goosebumps again. “It is nice to have someone to talk to,” she says. “You’re the first person I’ve been able to talk to about it. Hey, what’s your name by the way? I heard your friends call you Omi.” 

He looks down at his feet. “Sakusa Kiyoomi.” 

She tells him her name, and it fits her. He repeats it over in his head a few times, once under his breath. He likes the sound of it. He likes the way it feels when he says it. 

“Thanks for spending New Year’s listening to me rant, Sakusa,” she tells him with a smile. 

He returns it, because he can’t help himself. “No problem.” 

There’s a beat of silence, the only noise being their shoes crunching against small, harmless patches of ice. She takes a deep breath. “So, anyways, when I got that letter from her mom, I basically freaked the fuck out, because so far that was like, the most insane thing to happen to me ever.” 

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

By the time she leads them back to her apartment, Sakusa hates her roommate more than he’s ever hated anyone, and he can’t feel the tips of his fingers. He keeps thinking about taking one of his hands out of his jacket pocket, and stuffing it into hers, their hands becoming one, clammy, knotted-up, warm mess. The thought makes him nervous. 

“So then, earlier tonight, I got a call from her, and she told me she was moving out, and leaving me alone with the lease, but we could still go out tonight if I wanted. But at that point, I just kind of gave up, and I told her to go out without me. Then I looked up cheap bars nearby, and I ended up meeting you.” 

Her timing’s perfect. She stops on the sidewalk in front of her building, and turns to face Sakusa directly. He hums. “That’s a pretty fucked up story,” he tells her. 

“I know,” she replies with a nod. “It’s a great start to the new year, right?” 

“At least I got to meet you,” he tells her, and he doesn’t know why he says it. He just sort of says it, naturally, and even though his cheeks go red, he doesn’t regret it. 

She gives him a soft smile. “This is my place. Thanks for walking me back.” 

“Of course, I was happy to.” 

Her hand pulls out of her pocket, and her phone comes with it. She presses a button on the side, and the screen lights up. “It’s twelve o’one,” she tells him. “We missed it, fuck.” 

Sakusa is suddenly flushed with thoughts of a New Year’s kiss, and he lets himself think them, because there’s no harm if he doesn’t say it outloud. He shrugs. “I don’t mind.”

She nods, and keeps her eyes down on her feet. Sakusa has this odd urge to grab her by the chin and make her meet his eye. He doesn’t know what it is about her, or her squeaky voice and terrible roommate and her dramatics and extravagant storytelling, but he feels like he’s been hooked by something. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to her. 

Her feet shift her weight around. “I have other stories, by the way.” 

Sakusa raises his brow. “What do you mean?” 

She looks behind her, for a second, and then back at him. Not quite looking him in the eye, her gaze hovers somewhere around his chest. “I have a lot of stories, actually. Horrible exes. Family drama. Lots of stuff I could tell you about sometime, if you wanted to hear it.” 

His chest feels like it’s expanding. “I want to hear them,” he tells her outright. “Any time you want to tell them.” 

She reaches into the back pocket of her jeans, and pulls out a slip of paper. A teared up piece of the receipt from the bar. She hands it to him, and Sakusa takes it, her gloves brushing against his finger tips. “I was hoping you’d ask for my number, so I came prepared. Call me the next time you want to hear something crazy.” 

Sakusa smiles. “I will.” 

“Happy New Year, Sakusa,” she says, and she stands on the tips of her toes to place a soft, quick kiss to her cheek. 

And before he has time to react, she rushes away, disappearing behind the front door of her apartment building. Sakusa’s hand reaches up to hover the spot where her lips touched him, and it feels numb. 

He looks down at the paper in her hand. Her number, written in smudged pen ink, and a note that says, the girl slumped over at the bar who talks too much-call me if you’re into that. 

Sakusa smiles, with her scarf still around his neck and folds it neatly back up, placing it in the front pocket of his jacket.

an: happy new year i love u all

[joemama-2]

velvet lies

pairing: gojo x fem reader synopsis: crippling debt and possible evictions have ruined you. working two jobs with no downtime, and a five-year-old son, you really don't know the meaning of taking a break. after continuous questions about his father, you have decided to finally let your son meet his dad. only thing is, he has no idea said son exists. and to top it off, you have not a single clue about what kinds of things will transpire from this sudden revelation. wc: 7.4k (shorter chap woop) tags/warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, fluff, romance, alcohol, classism, mom! reader, lying, abuse, MAJOR angst, slow burn, exes to lovers, (mentions of) cheating, scandals, death, blood, drugs, drama, family drama, miscommunication, blackmail, unhealthy coping mechanisms , depression, manipulation series masterlist < previous chapter < next chapter

Year: Early 2018

He hasn’t been answering your phone calls. Or your texts. A growing sense of anxiety and worry forms in your gut. You've trained yourself to push down the more insidious thoughts that threaten your already deteriorating relationship. It’s been a long day for you. From work, to your annoying mother, and now to your M.I.A boyfriend. You wanted to relax at home with a movie and soothing music, maybe even food. However, it’s been hard to eat for the past few weeks. 

The last place you wanted to be was at some house party with snobby people who probably never have realized the true meaning of a dollar. The music is loud and the blue lights do nothing but further annoy you, reminding you of just how much you hate parties. Pushing through the throngs of people, either too drunk to high to give your rudeness a huff. 

It’s not hard to spot him, but the sight makes you dig your nails into your palms. Feeling bile rise in your throat when a girl—one you’ve never seen before—is getting too close and personal with your man. And worst of all? He’s not even pushing her away. He’s obviously drunk. Still, you assumed he would have that much decency to push back flirting advances from random girls. He always did.  

But things have been changing recently, slowly but surely. Ever since that happened. 

Your feet work quickly, forcing yourself to stay determined and not break down and cry right now. You’ve been doing too much of that. “Satoru.” You call out, voice loud and firm enough that he swivels his head to meet your eyes on just the first try. The girl does so also, head tilting in a scrutinizing way that you hate. “Are you drunk?”

The tint on his cheeks is proof enough. But so is his lazy grin. “What do you think?”

The girl giggles, leaning into your boyfriend’s arm. Watching her do so sends a wave of fury down your spine. You would have stepped in if it weren’t for Satoru finally being a decent man and pulling away from her. “Sorry, you gotta go.”

“Excuse me?” The girl huffs, scowling in disgust. “For what? I thought we were having a good time.”

So, they were together the whole night, huh? They probably would have stayed together if you didn’t make an appearance. What if they would have taken things further? What if Satoru imitated something? You can already feel the familiar tingle at the back of your throat, turning around and heading back for the door. He follows, grabbing your arm in an attempt to stop you. “Y/N—“

“Don’t.” You grit, yanking your arm away and pushing your way back out to the front of the large house, ignoring some of a drunken couple’s protests as you ruin their make-out session. When you make your way onto the sidewalk, you feel a more insistent tug at your wrist that causes you to face him fully. Meeting his glazed-over eyes with your own teary pair, biting down on your quivering lip. “Why didn’t you answer your phone? Why are you ignoring me?”

He sighs, running a hand down his face when he lets go of you. “I’m not ignoring you, Y/N. I’m sorry, I should have told you I’d be out. But it was last minute.”

A scoff falls from your lips. “Last minute, huh? Is that what you call it? Hanging around some random girl and acting like you don’t have a worried girlfriend waiting for you?”

“Y/N—“

“Did you cheat on me?” You ask, voice cracking. Your tears now flow freely down your face, eyes red. The expression you adorn does nothing but break his heart. He hates seeing you cry, he always has. And the small, sober part of him is cursing at himself for being such a jackass tonight. But the dominant, drunk side wants no part of an argument tonight. 

“No, I didn’t. I’d never.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Y/N.”

“I want you to be a good boyfriend for once!” You croak out, pushing him back by his shoulders. “Y-you know what I’m going through, you know how hard it’s been. And what do you do? You go out and party, you don’t tell me, and I find some random girl all up on you. And then you smiled like it was funny. D-do you know how much you’re hurting me even more, Satoru?” The trembling of your voice pokes at his heartstrings. 

Satoru stares at you, his expression faltering. For a moment, you think you see guilt flicker across his face, but it’s quickly replaced by something colder—defensiveness. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, alright? I was just...blowing off steam.”

“Blowing off steam?” you repeat, your voice rising as fresh anger bubbles in your chest. “You call this blowing off steam? Ignoring me? Letting some girl throw herself all over you? You’re unbelievable.”

He rakes a hand through his hair, frustration clear in his movements. “What do you want me to do, Y/N? Stay at home and sulk all the time? I can’t—” He stops himself, biting his lip, but you know what he was going to say. 

“You can’t what, Satoru?” Your voice cracks again, but this time it’s laced with more rage than sorrow. “You can’t deal with me? With everything I’m going through? You promised you’d be there for me. You said we’d get through this together.”

“I am here for you!” he snaps, but the slight slur in his voice takes the edge off his words. “But you’re acting like I can’t breathe without you questioning every little thing I do. I’ve been going through shit too, Y/N.”

You suck in a shaky breath. “That’s not fair,” you whisper, your fists clenching at your sides. “You know it’s not. If I didn’t care—if I didn’t love you—I wouldn’t be here, trying to fix this.”

He exhales heavily, his shoulders slumping. “I didn’t cheat on you, Y/N. I swear I didn’t. But I—” He hesitates, his gaze dropping to the ground. “I don’t know how to handle all of this, okay? It’s a lot.”

Your breath hitches, his words cut deeper than he probably intended. “You think this isn’t a lot for me too?” you ask, your voice trembling. “I’ve been trying so hard, Satoru. To hold on. To be strong. For both of us. But you’re slipping away, and I don’t know how to bring you back. I know how to handle things just as much as you do.”

He looks up then, his blue eyes clearer now, filled with something that looks almost like regret. For a brief second, you think he might apologize—might say the words you so desperately need to hear. But instead, he shakes his head and says, “Maybe we just need some space.”

The world tilts beneath you. His words echo in your mind, louder than the music still blaring from the house behind you. “Space?” you repeat, barely able to say the word. “You want to take a break?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, his voice quiet, almost defeated. “I just...I think we’re both hurting each other more than we’re helping.”

You laugh bitterly, wiping at the tears streaming down your face. “No, Satoru. You’re hurting me. You’re the one who stopped trying. You’re the one who’s giving up.” He flinches at your words, but he doesn’t argue. And somehow, that hurts even more. You shake your head, stepping back from him. “If space is what you want, then fine. But don’t expect me to be here waiting when you figure yourself out.”

You turn and walk away, your heart shattering with every step. This isn’t how you imagined the night would go. It isn’t how you imagined your relationship would go. But as you leave him standing there on the sidewalk, you can’t help but wonder if this was inevitable all along.

The same song begins to play. Because soon,  his arms are wrapping around you before you even know it, shoving his face into the side of your neck. “No, no, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m drunk, okay? Please don’t leave, please. L-let’s just go home, my parents aren’t there. Please, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

And like a broken record, you give in. Because the broken part of you still craves him. His touch, his comforting hugs, his words. His everything. You feel like a puzzle with pieces too big or small to fit, some pieces lost. But with Satoru, he makes them fit. He finds those pieces of you; the ones you can’t find yourself. In a way, you know things are failing and falling apart. 

But you’re laying back in his bed, feeling the constant vibration of your phone. Texts from your mother and you have no doubt she’s blowing up your phone about the way you snuck out and demanding to know where you are. It’s interesting, you’re twenty-one but she treats you like a kid. All because you still live with her. 

Your heart feels heavy, your stomach twisting with nausea and you’re not even the drunk one. His hands hold your teary cheeks, meeting your gaze with watery ones of his own. Combined tears wet his pillow until there’s no more to give out. He’s been crying with you, but sometimes it feels fake. 

“Did you cheat on me?” You ask again, whispering in a shaky tone. 

His lips purse and he shakes his head. “…no, I didn’t. I told you, I’d never.”

You search his face, looking for cracks in the foundation of his words. His sorrowful eyes, flushed cheeks, and trembling hands—all of it feels sincere, but it doesn’t feel like enough. Not so much anymore. “You’re sure?” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. 

“I’m sure,” he says, his voice soft but firm. “I swear to you, Y/N. I’d never do that to you. Never.” His thumb brushes away a stray tear on your cheek, and for a moment, the warmth of his touch almost convinces you.

Almost.

You close your eyes, exhaling shakily as his hands cradle your face. You want to believe him. You need to believe him. But the doubt lingers like a shadow, clawing at the edges of your mind. “Then why do I feel like I’m losing you?” you ask, your voice breaking.

Satoru flinches, his hands momentarily faltering before steadying again. “You’re not losing me,” he says quickly, almost desperately. “I know I’ve been...different lately, but it’s not because I don’t care. I just—” He pauses, his gaze dropping as if searching for the right words. “I don’t know how to handle this, Y/N. I don’t know how to be what you need right now. There’s so much and I…” his voice trails off, fearing he’s saying too much and it’ll only make you feel worse. Make himself feel worse. 

Your chest tightens, his confession cutting deeper than you expected. “I don’t need you to have all the answers, Satoru. I just need you to try. To be honest with me. To stop shutting me out. You…you’re the only one—you’re all I have right now.”

“I’m trying,” he insists, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. “I swear I’m trying. But it feels like...like no matter what I do, it’s not enough. And I hate it. I hate that I’m hurting you.”

The rawness in his voice pulls at something in you, making it harder to keep the walls around your heart intact. You open your eyes, meeting his gaze. For a moment, the vulnerability in his expression mirrors your own. “I don’t want to lose you, Satoru,” you say softly. “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep feeling like I’m the only one fighting for us.”

“You’re not,” he whispers, his hands tightening slightly on your face as if afraid you’ll slip away. “You’re not, Y/N. I know I’ve messed up, but I’ll do better. I promise. Just...don’t give up on me. Please.”

The plea in his voice, the tears in his eyes—they’re enough to make the broken pieces of your heart shift, trying to fit back together even if they don’t quite align. Against your better judgment, you nod, letting out a shaky breath. “Okay,” you whisper. “But this is your last chance, Satoru. I mean it.”

“I know,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I won’t mess this up. I promise.” But Satoru isn’t the best at promises. He’s only good at making them for others, not keeping them for himself. 

As he pulls you into his arms, holding you as if you might vanish, you can’t help but wonder how many more promises you’ll let him break before there’s nothing left of you to give. But for now, you let yourself sink into his embrace, hoping—maybe foolishly—that this time will be different. Because he’s all you have. All you know. He knows you inside and out—the way your voice wavers when you’re holding back tears, the way your hands fidget when you’re nervous, the way you laugh like it’s the only thing keeping you from breaking. And you know him just as deeply. Every freckle on his skin, every scar that tells a story, every mole you’ve discovered in moments of intimacy. You’ve memorized him like a favorite book, reading him over and over until the lines blur but still feel familiar.

You two are like each other’s canvases—painted with touches, kisses, and shared memories, even the messy ones. Every fight, every tear-streaked night, every whispered “I’m sorry” adds another layer to the masterpiece that is you and him. But lately, it feels like the colors are running, bleeding into one another until the picture is unrecognizable. And you don’t know if you can fix it, or if you even should. Never did you think that things would change so much, and all because of one failed situation. 

What a weak body you have, what a weak person you are. 

He holds you tighter, his fingers threading through your hair as if grounding himself in your presence. “You’re everything to me, Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice so quiet you almost don’t catch it. “I know I’ve been a mess, but I swear I’ll fix this. I’ll fix us.”

But his promises feel like paint on a waterlogged canvas—fading, smudged, and far too fragile. Still, you nod, letting the comfort of his warmth lull you into silence. Because no matter how fractured you feel, no matter how much the doubt weighs on your chest, he’s all you have. You can’t handle the thought of facing everything alone now, can’t handle the thought of not having someone to hug you when you burst down in tears. 

You hate the way things are now, but you’ve sunk too deep into him. And him the same. Over time, you feel like he will retract his hold from you before you do so yourself. You can almost feel it coming, one way or another. It’s why you’re holding him tighter, pressing your body deeper into his. Because you know you wouldn’t be able to do it yourself. Awaiting the inevitable hurts so bad. Knowing that no matter what, your end is visible. You can see the finish line just a few yards away. It’s like a race, and you’re letting Satoru win. Envisioning him running his long legs to the checkered line with a smile on his face like he’s happy—relieved. You don’t want to hold him, that’s the last thing you want to do. However, you’re being as selfish as you can be right now. Before every privilege is stripped from you in a cold manner that will leave you shivering for warmth. But his presence is something. And for now, that’s enough to keep you here and sane. 

Little did you know, you'd win that race before he did. You just needed that little push. He's the hare, and you're the tortoise.

You stay in his arms, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek a constant reminder of the closeness you’ve always shared. It feels almost like an illusion, the peace between you both. But underneath, there’s a tension that hasn’t quite loosened, a thread pulled tight between the two of you, holding you close but threatening to snap at the slightest tug. His grip tightens, his fingers threading into your hair, pulling you closer as if trying to fuse your two worlds together. The quiet hum of the room feels almost suffocating now. Your phone continues to buzz with your mother’s increasingly frantic texts, but you can’t bring yourself to care about that right now. Not with Satoru’s breath warm on your neck and his hands gently caressing your skin. Not when it’s easier to let him hold you in this fragile moment of peace. 

You close your eyes, your fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. The quietness stays for a long moment, But when he speaks, it’s almost a whisper, like he’s afraid of the truth that might spill out.

“I’ll try. I’ll be here for you, Y/N. I swear it.”

You wonder if you can truly believe him this time. If you can let yourself hope that things might really change. But the doubt is a familiar companion, lingering in the shadows, waiting to remind you of the cracks in his promises. Still, for tonight, you let it go. You let yourself sink into him, giving into the small piece of comfort he offers, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.

You wake up in a cold sweat, dried tears staining your cheeks. Your stomach feels sensitive, nails already digging into your palms so hard that the skin is growing red and prickly. Every emotion you felt from that dream—nightmare—whatever it was feels ten times more real. You don’t know why you’re having these weird dreams about something from years ago. 

But it still hurts all the same, nonetheless. 

You still feel hollow, drowned, and ready to pour your heart out into your pillow. But it’s morning and time to get up for bed. Christmas Eve is in three days and you’re just counting down until when you won’t have to go into work.  Going through your routine, getting Koji ready for the day, opening the door for Sana. Leaving your place of solitude, it feels like you barely even lived through this morning. 

The chill of the morning air hits your skin as you step outside, tugging your coat tighter around you. The weight of your dream lingers, like a fog that refuses to lift. You keep telling yourself it was just a dream, just a memory from a time you’ve tried so hard to bury. But it clings to you like a ghost, whispering doubts into your ear, even as you force yourself to move through the motions. you can’t help but glance up at the sky, the gray clouds reflecting the heaviness in your chest. Christmas Eve is in three days, and you can’t wait to take a break from not just work—from everything.

If only escaping your past was as easy as flipping the calendar to a new year.

Satoru texts you around the 2-hour mark that he’ll be going over to your place soon to see Koji and bring the gifts he got. You let Sana know of the change, she replies back with a simple ‘okay!’

You sigh, willing yourself to forget about the drama your life entails, and focus on your work. 

However, another thought is creeping in through the door, and this time—it’s not such a bad one. You feel a fluttering sensation in your gut, holding back a peal of stifled laughter as the memory of last night makes its presence known. After the whole shirt incident, Suguru stayed. He kept his word about not making anything weird, and you two ended with a simple chat and a movie. It felt nice.

Of course, there were hints of lingering peeks, that strange tension tossed up in the air that neither of you fully addressed. But it’s fine, it didn’t mean anything at the end of the day. Although, when it was time for him to leave, you did have a second of hesitation about whether you should hug him or simply say goodbye. He decided for you when he carefully opened his arms up, you followed suit. 

Inhaling his scent felt heavenly. Manly, but also feminine at the same time. An earthly scent that felt like hints of incense. The memory of his embrace lingers like the faintest trace of his cologne, warm and comforting. It wasn’t just the way he held you—it was the way he made you feel. Secure. Understood. Like you weren’t just surviving, but living, even if just for that moment.  

You haven't hugged a man in so long. You forgot how good they hug. 

You shake your head, a small smile pulling at your lips despite yourself. It wasn’t anything. It shouldn’t be anything. Suguru’s always been like that—gentle, kind, and just a little too perceptive for his own good. He knew exactly when to stay and exactly what you needed without you even having to say it. Still, you can’t ignore the way your heartbeat picked up when his arms wrapped around you, the way your cheek brushed against his shoulder, and how your fingers had almost lingered a little too long against his back. It felt natural, but also entirely new. 

Suguru’s presence was so easy, so effortless. It felt like slipping into an old favorite sweater, soft and familiar but with a spark of something you couldn’t quite place. You’d been so wrapped up in keeping everything together, in pushing through every day for Koji’s sake, that you’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be seen.  

You wonder if Satoru holds the same longing you do. 

You shake the thought away as quickly as it comes. Don’t think about him. There’s no point in overthinking any of this.  

“Hello, you must be Koji’s father.” Sana greets Satoru who stands in the doorway. With him, two armfuls of gifts. Even more on the floor next to his feet. 

Simply nodding and looking over her shoulder to see Koji eating his lunch. “And you’re the babysitter.” Without much else, he carefully pushes past her, bringing in the gifts. “Mind getting the rest? Thanks.”

She nods, grabbing what was left on the floor before bringing it in, closing and locking the door. When she turns back around, Koji is in his father’s embrace. She smiles at the scene. “Ms. Y/N told me you’d be coming. He’s been good so far, he’s just eating his lunch now.”

“That’s good to hear,” Satoru replies, pulling away from his son. Doing a quick scan of the place before his eyes land back on the young woman. “How long have you been watching my son again?”

“A couple of years.”

He hums, walking closer to her. “And you’re how old?”

Sana blinks, surprised by the question. "I'm twenty," she says cautiously, her polite smile wavering slightly under his scrutiny.  

Satoru raises an eyebrow, his gaze sharp but unreadable. "Twenty, huh? Pretty young to be taking care of kids."  

“I’ve been babysitting since I was sixteen,” she replies, straightening her posture. “I’m studying early childhood education, so it’s not just a job to me. I care about Koji.”  

His expression softens a fraction, and he glances back at his son, who’s happily munching away at his sandwich. “He does seem to like you,” Satoru admits, his tone less probing now.  

“He’s a great kid,” Sana says warmly. “Very smart, just like his mother.”  

That earns her a faint smile. “Yeah, just like his mother.” He crosses his arms, leaning casually against the counter. “So, Y/N told you I’d be stopping by today?”  

“Yes, she mentioned it when I got here this morning.” 

Satoru nods, tapping his fingers against his forearm thoughtfully. “Good. Thanks for helping out today. I know it’s probably not easy juggling school and babysitting.”  

“It’s manageable,” Sana replies, sensing a subtle change in his demeanor. “Koji makes it worth it.”  

Satoru’s gaze lingers on her for a moment longer before he straightens up. “I’ll take over from here. You can go ahead and clock out early if you want.”  

“Oh, are you sure?”  

“Yeah,” he says, waving her off. “Enjoy the rest of your day. I’ve got this.”  

Sana hesitates briefly, glancing at Koji, who’s still blissfully unaware of the conversation. “Alright then. Have a good evening, Mr. Gojo.”  

As she gathers her things and heads for the door, she feels his eyes on her. It’s not hostile, but it’s assessing. Like he’s trying to gauge something about her. She doesn’t dwell on it, though—whatever it is, it’s not her place to question. “Oh!” She turns around as if she just remembered something. “Ms. Y/N leaves a list. It’s taped to the—”

“I don’t need a list to take care of my son.” He cuts her off smoothly, his one eyebrow raising. “Thanks again, have a good day.”

She falters, once again caught a little off guard. This is her first time meeting him, and while she’s of course seen the articles and comments about the drama surrounding the small family, she has no bias. In fact, she sympathizes greatly with you for going through all this alone. As she’s leaving the apartment, she can’t help the small opinion of Satoru that he’s already given her. 

He’s so intimidating!

After she leaves, Satoru focuses back on his son—this shitty apartment. He hasn’t explicitly voiced his opinions out to you—of course you already know what they are. And as you said before, it’s all you could afford, and Koji’s happy. However, he can’t stop himself from grimacing at the so-called ‘decorations’. This place needs some serious revamping. 

“Hey, buddy?”

Koji looks over, wiping his mouth. “Yes, Papa?”

“When you’re done eating, want to help me with something?” And Koji doesn’t need to be told anymore. He loves helping—especially his mother and father. So he nods excitedly, practically scarfing down the rest of his sandwich. Bubbling with giddiness only a child could have. 

Satoru chuckles at his son’s behavior, heart warming. This is the first time he’s doing something festive with Koji. The bitter part of him tells him that he could’ve had more chances to do so if it weren’t for your cowardness. But he shoves that away, focusing on the jolly joy the holidays can bring. 

Today was more tiring than usual, with the cafe gaining more attention, there’s been rush after rush after rush. You can handle it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t wear you down by the time you clock out. And your day isn’t even done yet. Slugging your way to your front door, lazily opening it with your key. Tossing your coat on the nearby rack, your bag with it. 

“I’m ba—”

You sniffle. One. Twice. 

A pinecone-y scent fills your nostrils. Which is strange because you know you have no candles that house that aroma. Confusion, but wariness takes over your senses. Following the sound of laughter down the hall until you’re standing in the living room. 

The sight you see is more than startling. 

Your eyes dart around in a frenzy, landing on one new thing after the next. The small, simple Christmas tree you’d put up last week? Replaced by a towering, impeccably decorated monstrosity with shimmering lights and a star that looks like it came straight out of a luxury catalog. It barely even fits in the room. Luckily, the small picture ornament of you and Koji is still there. But it looks so out of place.

The garlands you’d strung across the walls? Gone, swapped for lush, sparkling ones adorned with oversized ornaments. Even your modest stockings have been replaced with personalized velvet ones embroidered with gold thread, hanging perfectly above a faux fireplace setup that definitely wasn’t there this morning.

It’s like a winter wonderland exploded in your living room, and you’re not sure whether to laugh or scream.

Koji is sitting on the couch, giggling as Satoru playfully pretends to tangle himself in a string of fairy lights. Your son’s laughter is contagious, but you can’t shake the growing irritation bubbling inside you. When Koji notices you, his eyes brighten even more. Gaping and rushing over to your leg, hugging it. “Mama! Mama! Look what Papa and I did! It’s so pretty and there are so many presents!”

There is. There’s a lot of presents. Practically stacking on top of one another under your refurbished tree. Hidden somewhere in the splurge are the gifts Suguru got for you and Koji. 

Gulping, you feel your throat tighten. You feel nothing but overwhelmed. But in the face of your son, you can’t exactly show that. You force a smile as you ruffle Koji’s hair, trying to push down the irritation clawing its way to the surface. “Wow, it’s… definitely something,” you say, your voice strained but managing to sound somewhat amused for Koji’s sake.

Satoru, now untangled from the lights, looks up from the couch with that boyish grin of his. “Do you love it or do you love it?” he asks, gesturing to the extravagant decor like he’s unveiling a masterpiece. 

You blink at him, incredulous—but still attempting to keep yourself calm.  “What… what happened to the decorations we already had?”

“Oh, those?” He waves a dismissive hand. “Let’s just say they weren’t really up to par. I mean, come on, Y/N. That tree you had? It was like something out of a Charlie Brown Christmas special. I couldn’t let Koji’s holiday spirit suffer like that.”

Your jaw tightens, the forced smile threatening to slip. “So, you just… decided to replace everything? Without asking me?”

He stands, brushing off invisible dust from his jeans as if the weight of his decision is nothing. “You were busy, and I figured you’d appreciate coming home to something nice for once. Besides, look at Koji—he’s thrilled!”

Koji tugs at your sleeve, his wide-eyed excitement piercing through your annoyance. “It’s so cool, Mama! Look at all the shiny ornaments! And Papa let me pick out the star!” Your son runs over to show off a few of the many, many presents he has. Showing extra excitement for the heavier and larger ones. “Papa says it’s magical. I want to have a magical Christmas every time, Mama.”

The words, innocent but heavy, almost make you physically kneel down. You feel your chest tighten, your throat closing up even more. The lump that forms is difficult to swallow down. The implication of Satoru’s and your son's words feels a bit degrading. And you don’t blame it on Koji, he means nothing malicious. But for some reason, being faced with the physical line of difference between you and Satoru, watching your son’s face light up in a way that you’ve never seen before…

It reminds you that your enough has never been enough. Each Christmas, it’s dull. Your Christmases aren’t magical.  Your life isn’t. 

You feel the weight of it all crashing down like the oversized star on the new tree is pressing on your chest. Satoru's extravagance, Koji's innocent excitement, and your own feelings of inadequacy swirl together into a storm you’re barely holding back.  

Your forced smile falters, but you quickly kneel to Koji's level, brushing his hair away from his glowing face. “It’s beautiful, sweetheart,” you say softly, voice trembling but steady enough to reassure him. “I’m glad you had fun with Papa.”  

Koji beams, and for a moment, his joy is a balm to your frayed nerves. “It’s pretty, isn’t it, Mama?”  

You bite the inside of your cheek. “So pretty.” Standing slowly, your hand lingers on Koji’s shoulder. “Really pretty,” you repeat quietly, not committing to anything. You can feel Satoru watching you, his casual demeanor only adding to your irritation. The worst part of it all is that it seems like he genuinely has no idea what he did wrong. 

In hindsight, maybe he didn’t. It wasn’t his intention to make you feel like a shitty mother, but Satoru is good at pointing out the differences in his own ways. 

When Koji bounds back to the pile of gifts, you finally let yourself meet Satoru’s gaze. “You really didn’t think to talk to me about this?”  

His grin fades just a fraction, replaced by a look of confusion. “What’s there to talk about? I wanted to do something special for Koji. And let’s be honest, Y/N—this is special.”  

“It’s not about the decorations, Satoru,” you snap, your voice low but sharp. “It’s about you making decisions without considering how I might feel about it. Again.”  

He tilts his head, the glower returning, though it feels sharper now. “You’re overthinking this. It’s just Christmas decorations, Y/N. Look at Koji—he’s happy. Isn’t that what matters?”  

You clench your fists, the tightness in your chest threatening to spill over into something you can’t control. “You don’t get it, do you? This isn’t just about the decorations. It’s about you coming in here and acting like everything I do is subpar. Like I’m not enough.”  

The words hang heavy in the air, and for a moment, Satoru’s expression falters. But he recovers quickly, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning against the arm of the couch. “Y/N, no one’s saying that. You’re reading too much into this. I just wanted to make things nice for Koji, that’s all.”  

Your laugh is bitter, and it catches even you off guard. “Right. Because your version of nice is always the right one. I’m just the placeholder until you decide to step in and fix everything, aren’t I?”  

Satoru’s eyes narrow slightly, the playful spark he had with Kojidimming. “That’s not fair.”  

“Isn’t it?” you counter, your voice breaking despite your effort to stay calm. “You swoop in with all your money and your grand gestures, and I’m supposed to just smile and be grateful. But do you even realize how hard I’ve worked to give Koji a Christmas he’ll enjoy? How much I’ve sacrificed just to keep things normal?”  

His silence stings more than any retort could.  

Koji’s laughter in the background feels distant now, muffled by the sound of your own heartbeat pounding in your ears. He’s too distracted with the tree, his presents, everything. You inhale deeply, trying to steady yourself, before forcing a calmness you don’t feel.  You won’t fight in front of him. 

“I’m going to get changed,” you mutter, not waiting for a response.  

As you leave the room, Satoru calls after you, his voice softer but no less exasperated. “Y/N, come on. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it is.”  

But to you, it already feels like a chasm. One that grows wider with every passing second.

You shut your door, leaning against it with your forehead. Breaths coming in short, hands trembling slightly. Biting your quivering lip, you maneuver your body to change into your uniform. All the while, tears are getting on your hands and clothes. Accidentally, you let out a small, broken whimper. 

 Quickly, you place a palm to your mouth, stifling and quieting your soft cries. Once you’re done changing, you fall back onto the bed. Curled up with knees drawn to your chest, as the burden of your own self-consciousness rains down on you. The room feels suffocatingly small, your emotions clawing at your throat, demanding to be let out.

The tears come harder now, soaking into the fabric of your uniform as you press your hands to your face, muffling the quiet sobs. You hate this—how easily Satoru gets under your skin, how he makes you feel insignificant without even trying. You thought you were past this. Past him. But somehow, he always finds a way to remind you of all the ways you’ve fallen short. Or at least, all the ways he makes you feel like you have.

There’s a soft knock on the door.

“Y/N?” His voice is muffled through the wood, quieter than usual as if he’s trying not to disturb you. “Are you okay?”

You don’t answer, biting down on your lip to keep from making another sound.

“Look,” he continues, his tone hesitant. “I know I upset you. I didn’t mean to. Can we just… talk?”

For a moment, you consider staying silent, letting him stew in his own discomfort. But the tension is too thick, and you know Koji is just down the hall. With a shaky breath, you push yourself to your feet, wiping at your face in a futile attempt to erase the evidence of your tears. Wiping your face and straightening your clothes, you open the door. “I have work.” You mutter, expertly enforcing a placid emotion. “Will you watch him?”

Without waiting for a response, you walk past him. But he grabs at your wrist, instinctively you pull away. “Stop, just stop, okay? Let’s not fight. We’re adults, we can talk this out. I don’t mean to make you feel less than, I just wanted to make Koji happy.”

“And do you think he’s not happy with me?” You snap back, looking up at him. Feeling your vision already beginning to blur. “Do you? Do you think he’ll be happy with you? I-Is that it?”

Satoru’s eyes widen slightly at your outburst, and for a moment, he doesn’t respond. The air between you feels like it could snap under the weight of everything left unsaid. His hand hovers near his side, as if he wants to reach out again but knows better now. “No,” he says softly, his voice steady but lined with regret. “That’s not what I meant. Koji is happy with you. He loves you more than anything.”

“Then why do you keep acting like what I do isn’t enough?” you whisper, your voice trembling as you maintain eye contact with him. “I’ve been doing this alone, Satoru. Every scraped knee, every fever, every night when he cries because he’s scared of the dark—I’m there. Not you. Me. So don’t you dare come in here, throw your money around, and act like you can just fix everything with some… Christmas wonderland.”

“But you didn’t let me come in sooner, Y/N.” He replies, exasperation in his voice. 

“I know that, and I’m sorry. I know I fucked up…”

“Then stop getting mad at little things.”

Your fists ball up, your expression growing firmer by the second. But so is the need to cry again. He’s right, everything he says is right. It’s your own fault that you’ve been forced to handle everything alone. But, don’t your feelings matter just a little bit in this situation? Is he allowed to just come in and fix up everything you have? What he thinks is a mess, it’s something that holds significance to you. What he thinks is a little thing, it’s a big one in your eyes. 

So while this scenario is blowing up into something bigger, your decorations are something you have control of. You only have control over so many things in your life. 

He exhales slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not trying to take anything away from you, Y/N. I swear. I just… I wanted to give him something special. Something I never had growing up.”

It makes you feel even more guilty. You can’t find it in you to say anything else, turning back around and walking to the living room. “Goodbye, Koji. Mama will see you later.” Giving him a brief hug and kiss, you hurriedly grab your coat and purse, exiting your apartment just as fast as you came. 

Unbeknownst to you, Koji is left staring at the closed door. His head tilting in curiosity, while a frown pulling at the corner of his lips. He looks up at his father when he enters the living room again, the two owning matching guises. “Why’d Mama leave so fast? I wanted to show her the drawing we did.” The white paper in his hands pictures three figures. Each one smiling, the smaller boy in the middle holding hands with his two parents on either side of him. He even drew blue snowflakes. 

There’s a red heart around them with the words My family! at the top. 

Satoru stands there, staring at the door you just closed, feeling the weight of Koji’s innocent question settle on his shoulders. He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he glances down at his son, whose big, curious eyes are filled with disappointment.

“She’s just tired, buddy,” Satoru replies, crouching down to Koji’s level. His tone is softer now, more measured, as he tries to mask the turmoil bubbling under his calm façade. “She’s been working really hard, you know? Grown-up stuff.”

Koji’s frown deepens, his little brows furrowing. “But we worked hard too! We did the tree and the presents and everything!” His tiny hands gesture to the decorated room, his frustration clear. “Mama’s s’posed to be happy.”

Satoru feels his chest tighten at the words. He places a hand on Koji’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “She is happy, Koji. She just… needs some time, that’s all. Grown-ups can be funny like that.”

Koji looks down, fiddling with his fingers before glancing back up. “Is it my fault?”

Satoru’s heart aches at the question, and he immediately shakes his head, pulling Koji into a firm hug. “No, not even a little bit. You didn’t do anything wrong, Koji. Don’t ever think that, okay?”

Koji nods slowly against his father’s shoulder but remains quiet. Satoru pulls back, cupping his son’s face in his hands. “Mama loves you so much, Koji. More than anything in the world. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Okay…” Koji mumbles, still not entirely convinced. He inhaled deeply, then spoke again. “Do…does Mama love you too?”

The question catches him off guard, putting an even bigger weight on Satoru’s shoulders. He should’ve expected it, Koji is a curious kid who still doesn’t completely grasp the complexities of his parents’ relationship. Satoru smiles faintly, kissing Koji’s cheek. “Mama has a lot of love.”

The answer satisfies Koji. For now. 

Satoru ruffles his son’s hair. “How about we finish that drawing? We’ll save it for her when she gets back.”

Koji perks up slightly, nodding. “Okay! But you gotta color inside the lines this time, Papa.”

Satoru chuckles, relieved to see even a small smile return to Koji’s face. “Deal. But only if you promise not to make fun of me if I mess up. I’m sensitive.”

Koji giggles, taking his father’s hand to lead him back to the small table. As they sit down to continue their drawing, Satoru steals a glance at the door again, his smile faltering for just a second.

He’s trying—he really is. But he wonders if it’ll ever be enough. It’s like no matter what he does, you don’t like it; and vice versa. He’s being as understanding and nice as someone in his situation can be. At times, he feels he’s being even too nice to you. He knew things wouldn’t be easy, but he wants to spend time with his son. Make up for all the lost time, and even the littlest moments. It’s almost a little bit unfair of you to throw the fact that he has money and you don’t in his face like that. He didn’t ask to be born rich. Just like you didn’t ask to be born…like that. You’re the adults in this situation, there’s a kid involved. So truly, he wishes he could just have a single conversation with you that doesn’t feel anger-surged or bitter. Of course, it’s hard because of what has happened before, but there’s a time and a place, is there not? 

Whatever. He’s more than happy to color with Koji and do whatever the little boy asks while you have your own moment. Satoru knows best of everyone else you like having space. And while many years have passed and his feelings for you have grown less than savory, he stills wants to respect your wishes after an argument with him.

He can’t help but think the obvious, though. Is it even worth attempting to mend whatever little shards of semblance there is left with you?

Probably not. Because after all, he’s here only for Koji. 

Right?

taglist is now closed

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[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Who do you think is the most popular dorm leader amongst their students. Like Leona's obviously kind of a dick but people love him and respect him, while Riddle is more controversial amongst the students. Like rank them based on popularity if you'd be so kind!

I think it really depends??? Like, it's obviously very different within a dorm versus outside of it. Then there's also the question of passion and how far the students that admire said dorm leader will go for them. For example, Diasomnia students are incredibly passionate and form literal angry mobs to defend Malleus's honor; this cannot be said for most of the other dorms. However, the love and admiration for Malleus stretches thin outside of his own dormitory.

Instead of ranking them overall, I think I would instead categorize them like this (note: Yuu is excluded because Ramshackle has fallen from its status as a dorm):

Popular, few to no strings attached:

Kalim is popular both in his dorm and outside of it. He is one of the few cheerful and friendly students on campus and is shown to be well-liked in Scarabia for his empathy and willingness to accept others as they are. Kalim is also generous, throwing parties that include guests from other dorms and often trying to buy expensive gifts like diamonds for his dorm members (until he is stopped by others). His naivety also means he’s easily fooled and taken advantage of, which… sounds like a bad thing, but would be seen as a positive by some of the less savory characters at NRC.

Vil is generally liked and respected. Pre-book 5 Epel is an exception to this. However, students from other dorms, particularly Savanaclaw, sometimes mock Vil and underestimate him until he proves himself to them (for example, in Beans Fest). In both cases, his doubters change their minds and come around to him one way or another. I'd also imagine that Vil being a celebrity and all gives him a HUGE boost in appeal among the general student body.

Popular-ish, terms and conditions apply:

Leona is decently popular, especially among first years, his club, and within his own dormitory. He tends to attract younger students seeking a cool and dependable older brother or mentor figure. Most others—especially in his own grade level—have beef with Leona and/or take issue with his attitude, which is fair and valid.

Known but… infamous:

Riddle seems to be seen in a relatively neutral light by most students. Some admire him for his diligence but more often than not, he’s deemed annoying or unreasonable for enforcing the rules, especially Heartslabyul’s ridiculous ones. His penchant for blowing up at people and being anal about adhering to rules in a very literal and absolutist way probably does not earn him brownie points.

Azul is technically well-known but not necessarily adored. The twins go around advertising his services and luring in potential clients. If you need something, you know he can help you out… for the right price. Azul also has notoriety thanks to running the Mostro Lounge. I don't think people like him very much though, considering that mob students complain about how he’s a scumbag, fellow dorm leaders like Vil express an inherent distrust of him, and Azul himself has zero qualms about using dirty tactics like blackmail to get his own dorm members under his thumb. It feels like people are polite to him out of obligation and fear or what would happen if they aren’t. So in a weird way, Azul is liked for what he can provide people, but isn’t genuinely liked as an individual.

Malleus is playing a game of emotional extremes. While he has fervent, die-hard Draconians like Sebek backing him, the majority of the NRC population holds the opposite opinion and is deathly afraid of him. If he so much as smiles at a mob student or attempts to approach them, most would scream and/or run away. There are certainly exceptions (Kalim, Rook, Yuu, etc.), but they’re in the minority. He’s overing near the bottom, if only because of the overwhelming terror his name evokes, even if the Draconians attempt to balance it out. Their pushes to make others recognize the glory of their dorm leader only serves to further exacerbate existing tensions.

Not known and/or not popular:

Idia, well… Does bro touch grass and see the light of day enough to even be known by most of the students??? The students we do see Idia interact with tend to either ignore him (partly because he lurks in corners, away from people) or think of him as unpleasant to deal with. It’s hard for him to socialize, and when he does sometimes his Gamer ego gets the better of him and he mouths off an insult that catches him heat. Idia may get some street cred in his own dorm for his skills, but this largely doesn’t extend beyond Ignihyde. I wouldn’t even know if it would be right to say that the other Ignihyde students like Idia; everyone just stays in their own rooms way too much for me to properly gauge their relationship and so I’m left to take the opinions of the larger student body into account.

[lets-zofifi-stuff]

My counterpoint to some people saying the wolf is not evil:

(disclaimer - after typing it all im not sure if thats what op says but some people say that and i wanted to conterargument and im too lazy to make separate post now)

Trying to kill someone for fun is pretty evil. Trying kill someone because they are annoying is evil. Trying to kill someone because they are stupid and keep hurting themself is evil.

Puss was wasting his lives but death is not supposed to kill ppl because he finds their self destructive attitude offensive in some way.

Just because Wolf changed his mind when Puss started to act like Wolf thinks he should, does not mean Wolf's actions are suddenly non-evil. It just means he us capable of changing his mind.

Obviously being death itself he is above any consequences.

He broke the rules but as far as we know he is only responding before himself.

But we can still say he did the wrong thing.

If he is a person his actions can put under moral judgement, and if he is not a person he musn't take stuff personally!

The thing that makes Death a GREAT villain/antagonist is that he’s a force of nature that got upset and started behaving incorrectly.

His motivation is to kill Puss for being a cocky shit. Someone having 9 lives is ridiculous on its own but to have someone waste them like Puss does is just offensive, so Death stepped in to take his last life early for funsies. That’s how pissed off Death was, and he explains it very clearly in the crystal caverns scene.

Death is a foil to Puss. Yeah, he’s only there to kill Puss. That’s the point. He’s not a person, he’s literally Death. He’s the light at the end of the tunnel for Puss, but he’s running at him. He’s the one that forces Puss to change. He’s the one that makes his journey harder. The single only reason why getting that wish even matters is because Death forced it to matter.

He’s vindictive, cruel, and spiteful. That’s different from just being plain evil.   Him having rules he begrudgingly follows makes his “defeat” interesting. He can kill Puss at any time. Heck, he could slaughter everyone at the end. But he doesn’t. He’s unpredictable.

Also, the main job of an antagonist is to show the protagonist’s development. That’s why it’s called “antagonist” - they antagonize. Every one of Puss’ encounters with Death are direct catalysts to his character growth.This movie doesn’t work without him.

He’s a fantastic antagonist straight from a classic storybook.

[reignpage]

hiiii i hope this doesnt add to the super specific ask about the eden characters and doesnt seem weird but im kinda curious of what the eden couples argue about, like what causes them to argue and how long does it take for them to resolve their issues? (maybe also what they do for forgiveness? like im thinking someone would cut up fruits for their lover as an apology 💀)

Two questions in one ask HOW GREEDDDY😡

Gojo and reader

In college:

They argue about Gojo’s friends. The frat guys who are rowdy and boisterous. Most of them are nice enough but frat guys get drunk and they become people reader can’t stand to be around. But they’re Gojo’s boys so he gets defensive. This is a recurring issue so it doesn’t really get resolved, it just dies down until it gets brought up again

In life:

They argue over Gojo’s immaturity. He’s too go with the flow sometimes and it leaves reader to deal with things, like he’s always lived in a position of privilege so there are some things he misses or he just doesn’t know, like how to lead a business or be a good role model.

It doesn’t take very long for Gojo to realise because he can see her getting visibly panicked.

Gojo apologises for leaving the responsibility to her by stepping up and getting serious. And then he’s pampering her with a spa day and shopping

Geto and reader

Generally:

Geto has a tendency to become withdrawn, to start smoking more often and to lose sleep, not telling her what’s on his mind. It’s hard for reader because she’s never been in his position so she doesn’t know what to do, she wants to give him his space but she’s worried giving him too much would just allow him to spiral more, but then pushing her way in might just push him away altogether

It varies every time. Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes it takes a month etc

Geto can only apologise and try to do better, making up for lost time and attending all the therapy. But none of it ever seems to do the trick

Choso and reader

They don’t have deep issues to resolve lol, these two are like hippies, it’s all just weed and art for them

But reader does get annoyed when Choso leaves his supplies around. She trips on paint cans or stubs her toes on canvas lying on the floor. She gives him the silent treatment.

It never lasts long, choso’s got a sixth sense when it comes to his muse. And he hates making her upset, so he’ll clean everything in the house just to cover all bases. And then he gets on his knees and literally begs her to forgive him.

Reader always has a devious idea for a punishment (not always sexual but tends to be) it could be something like being her nude model for hours. Choso will do whatever, he has little pride lol

Toji and reader

Oh god, these two argue all the damn time. It’s mostly reader telling Toji off. Something like leaving his basketball everywhere or staying out too late or not throwing beer bottles away or getting into a fight with another player or a coach etc etc

It can last a while since they’re both stubborn. Longest was when he quit his job as a physical trainer without consulting her and that fight lasted three weeks. But generally it’s days.

Toji knows he’s usually in the wrong and he cozies up to her, rubbing her shoulders, hugging her from the back, kissing her until she breaks.

They fuck it out.

Lots of angry sex. Sometimes they fight just to have angry sex.

Nanami and reader:

They don’t have little fights. Nanami’s literally perfect, he has no flaws no I am not biased. Reader on the other hand is full of flaws and bad habits lol. But he’s forgiving and oh so patient, so there’s rarely ever any issue.

They do have big fights though, mostly around reader’s insecurities. Like the research partner. There’s no shouting, just tears, a lot of tears and lot of sobbing and begging.

When he sees her like that, Nanami’s heart breaks. Like literally. He falls to his knees and begs her to let him in, to not push him away, to trust him and believe him when he says there’s no one else, there’s never been anyone else.

He holds her in his arms until she calms down, takes her to the bath, and does her whole routine for her. Then he takes her to bed where he tries to soothe her and lets her fall asleep crying. When they wake up, reader is ashamed.

He doesn’t let her apologise.

Sukuna and reader:

Boy oh boy where do I begin with these two?

They argue over a lot of things. Sukuna hates when she’s nice to stupid, rich men, especially if they’re handsome. Reader hates when he’s nice to stupid rich, women, especially if they’re beautiful, and oh my god if they’re beautiful AND younger. Sukuna gets upset because she never butters him up like that. Reader is upset because he’s never nice.

They fuck it out.

Lots of angry sex that are more like hate sex? It’s just the forest over and over again, in every surface in every room in every conceivable position.

Then they’re good again.

Sometimes reader remembers what happened in first year and just gives him the silent treatment. Oh god sukuna hates the silent treatment, it’s worse than when she screams at him and attacks him, or even when she snubs him in public. He tries to do it back to her and these ice cold moments in the estate where they pretend the other doesn’t exist can last weeks, months. One time lasted 5 months.

Sukuna always caves first. He cuffs her to him when she’s sleeping so she’s forced to acknowledge his presence and even though she breaks the silence first, they both know he lost

He doesn’t mind losing when it feels like winning

[that-hazbin]

Happy New Year's, have an AU

AU where Alastor wasn't doing the horrible things that would land him in hell, and God panicked and realized that their Grand Plan of Redemption was falling apart from this single divergence. After all the hassle and headache of getting Charlie Morningstar into existence (TEN FUCKING MILLENNIA, LUCIFER, IT TOOK YOU THAT LONG TO SHAPESHIFT A DICK???), the Grand Plan can NOT be ruined because this one soul refused to go down and play their part.

Apparently, divine omniscience isn't good enough because it can't predict a Mama's Boy. Alastor promised his mama that he'd see her at the pearly gates, and he's damn well going to keep that promise. He's channeling all of his homicidal tendencies by airing out the dirty laundry of immoral scum on his not-so-legal radio broadcast. And anonymously sending the evidence to the news. And hey, you know what? Ruining people's lives seems to be a fate worse than death, because they're forced to live in misery! Mama was right, resisting temptation DOES grant reward!

(The temptation being homicide, and the reward being a fate worse than death, if he wasn't being clear.)

God is, of course, losing it, because one of the big pawns in getting The Grand Fucking Plan to work is not doing what they are supposed to, and seems to be on the track towards heaven. Which, what the fuck? HOW. That should not be POSSIBLE with a soul like this!

(Mama Alastor is just THAT good of a parent.)

So. God has to do something drastic here, obviously. They are NOT going to wait another ten thousand years for redemption to become possible, they've already waited long enough for shit like the EXTERMINATIONS to happen, and it'll just get worse in the future if they don't hurry this along.

God decides to do as their darling son Lucifer does, and makes a deal. With Alastor.

Alastor rejects the deal. Sorry, sir, his mama's waiting for him in heaven and he refuses to disappoint her.

God: Are you serious right now. Are you serious. I'm God.

Alastor: Yes, and?

God: I could literally grant you anything??

Alastor: I want to go to heaven and spend the rest of my afterlife with my mother. YOU want me to go to hell. Literally.

God: Well, yes, BUT. Once The Plan is finished, you can totally go to heaven afterwards?

Alastor: Uh huh. And how long do you anticipate this plan to take?

God, knowing full well that Charlie is mentally a teenager right now and is in no position to be making her dreams a reality for at least another century: UM.

Alastor: No deal, I'm not leaving my mama waiting.

To think, The Creator of All is DESPERATELY trying to get the cooperation of a mere mortal. Alastor is completely unmoved, and has made it clear that he only cares about his mother and her happiness. Which brings an idea to mind...

God: I could... make your mother a powerful figure in heaven?

Alastor: What? What use is power in heaven, isn't it already a paradise?

God: Uh. No, actually, otherwise heaven wouldn't be committing yearly genocide. Not all angels are virtuous, despite my best efforts.

Alastor: EXCUSE ME?!

Getting a deal was a lot easier after that.

Alastor kills a man (ONLY ONE, he can't disappoint his mama any further than that...) and then gets himself sent to hell. Fortunately, his deal grants him quite a lot of power to protect himself with! Unfortunately, he has a direct line of communication with God via sound waves. He hears God in his head. All. The. Time.

He has REGRETS.

All God seems to talk about is their favorite child, Lucifer, and The Plan. It is distracting and EXTREMELY annoying. Alastor knows more about Lucifer than any mortal in the universe, and he HATES IT.

[soulfullives]

sirius headcanons for you (no one asked me anything)

is really a great driver besides the fact he gets road rage (he tends to be quite impatient with people who are not as competent as him)

intimidating demeanour and he usually keeps people away from him with it (he does not complain)

completely terrified of children and the idea of being a father but he’s so gentle and kind to them

prefers pubs to clubs

chainsmoker and physically cannot smoke just one cigarette

sleeps in sweatpants and an old band tshirt

gets attached to clothes he loves and wears them till they’re horribly worn out

his favourite shoes are combat boots

has pouty lips

likes reading, but exclusively books he doesn’t have in the curriculum (he likes camus and dostoyevsky as authors and he’s a fan of psychological horror/ psychological stuff and political stuff as a whole and also sci fi (rip sirius black you would have loved george orwell))

his favourite movies are thriller and horror

his biggest fear is disappointing the ones he loves and betrayal

loves all animals and regularly takes in strays until he can find someone to take care of them. if he doesn’t, he just keeps them

has a lot of scars and marks from whatever batshit crazy thing he does. he is constantly with a project on his hands and doing something

dislikes routine and monotony and tries his best to make his days interesting

would have tried polygamy but he gets possessive and jealous and knows it’s not gonna work out (see exception: jilypad)

his strongest point is his loyalty and would willingly give up his life if that meant that someone he loves lives

speaking of which the only people he truly truly loved from the core of his life are james lily and harry

used to sell homework answers for cigarettes when he didn’t have the opportunity to buy some himself

hands in his essays the night before the due date and they’re always way longer than they should be

has protection runes tattooed on his fingers and engraved into his wand and charmed so that his wand can be used only if the runes from his fingers and wand meet so essentially no one else can use his wand

his duelling style is combat and basically attacking rather than defending but he WOULD use defensive magic to protect the ones he loves or members from the order than are weaker than he is (he’s also an aggressive dueller)

he can also fight with his fists and gets into playful wrestling with jpr

the only members of his family he always liked are alphard and andromeda (he never liked regukus k bye)

his favourite alcoholic drinks are whiskey and jack daniel’s

loses his patience really easily with people who are not as efficient as him AND annoy him (see: peter, sometimes) but he’s slightly more patient with people he likes

likes eating greasy shit but his favourite foods are a good caesar salad and a good teriyaki sub (self projection: i need his order to be the same as mine)

never pays attention in class but somehow he’s always top of the class (he only pays attention in dada transfig runes and arithmancy)

is either completely unaware or completely aware of the fact that people are into him and he Does Not care. sometimes snogs people at parties but nothing more than that

night owl and also an insomniac

[haute-honey]

astro observations rant post tbh

I don't think any other Venus sign truly deserves to be with a Scorpio Venus. Not a single one of you is up to par and you know it too. Scorpio venuses settle each and every time they get romantically involved with someone who is not also a scorpio venus (or at least has their Venus in 8H).

Capricorn placements love acting resentful towards you once they realized they can’t give all the things they promised to give you even though you never fucking asked them for anything in the first place. They just love messing up their own credibility sometimes. They’re the type to introduce you to a vibe they can’t maintain lol

this isnt a observation but why are yall making asteroid posts and not including the damn number of the asteroid in question??????

People only call Libras liars (lazy af at this point) because there is really not much else negative to say. But the gag is.. EVERYBODY lies. Every human who understands how human nature and human interactions work knows that you have to lie (and lie often) in order to maintain harmony socially. We lie to our friends, we lie to our family, we even lie to ourselves. So hang this take up PLEASE DEAR GOD.

Adding on to that, Libras truly are just mirrors to what people refuse to face about themselves. 🙃 If you were throwing the evil eye at them they gave you that mean girl energy for sure bc they knew something was up with you. If you came at them on some fake shit, they gave that energy right fucking back.

We all have a right to self determination... correct? With that being said its totally fine that some of us possibly won't experience love/romance/relationships in this lifetime. (Especially for the het girlies) Its fine that you can often see that in a chart. You don't have to try to appease to the girls with "harsher" aspects or placements in their chart. Plus, I see a lot of astrology girlies contradict themselves multiple times in their posts in the name of trying to bullshit around the truth. Some of us were put on this earth for self focus, growth and exploration alone. And that's okay.

A lot of us simply aren’t exciting enough to date Gemini/Sagittarius/Aries/Aquarius placements and that’s okay! Let ‘em date each other.

It’s hard getting to know a Scorpio moon because getting to know them involves knowing the trauma that they’ve endured because it’s probably 90% of their story and what’s made them who they are. And that’s a lot to drop on someone on a first date or when you’re first getting to know someone…. Or even the first year of knowing someone. TW Sorry they didn’t want to tell you they were sexually assaulted when they were a kid and that turned their life upside down for the absolute worst...

Libra placements don’t have mean girl energy, they have older sister energy. You know, the older sister who you wanted to be so badly, you wanted to look like her, dress like her, act like her, etc and she was “ mean” to you bc you were her little annoying ass sibling lol but every now and then she’d be nice and let you put on some of her makeup. It’s that kind of energy.

I take a lot of what others say about synastry with a huge grain of salt because its not the synastry placement or aspects that caused the negative outcome babygirl, the relationship was doomed from the start. You had to convince yourself to even find him attractive in the first place just because he showed you romantic attraction and a lot of yall just have very low standards.

Having an aquarius moon must be like naturally having SSRIs running through your synapses at all times... must be nice..

Cancer placements are not sensitive in the empathetic, feeling what others feel kind of way. They are sensitive in a "if you do something that hurts me I will crash the fuck out on you and take it to hell no matter the degree of what you did to me" kind of way. This could be applied to all the water signs but no one does it like Cancer.

Definitely not stamping this as a solid observation but i'm noticing that people tend to form quick crushes on people who have their sun sign in the sign of their venus sign. However, they do not last... let me find out that sun-venus synastry conjunction ain't all that...

IDK why people go back and forth about Beyonce not being a Libra rising when the writing is literally on the wall (pun intended lol). Mama is definitely a Libra rising. Aside from that Venus being in the 1st and her being absolutely beautiful and curvaceous, her scorpio moon is in her second house and miss thang is very hush hush about her finances. The most you'll get outta her is her being bragging a bit in her songs but other than that, she refuses to give any accurate estimate of her wealth lol Iktr

I think people are more obsessed with scorpio venuses being obsessive than scorpio venuses actually being obsessive themselves. When speaking of scorpio venus, people fail to mention that it is hard for this placement to even like or love people to the point they're obsessed with them. They rarely like people enough to even like them like that. Actually, you have more of a chance of them disliking or hating you than you do them being romantically liking you or being obsessed with you.

Virgo suns (tropical/sidereal) have such a short tolerance for stupidity or people acting confused lol They get irritated fast when people don't catch on quickly. Unevolved, they are the type to make you feel really dumb for not understanding something.

Y'all want libra placements to be jealous soooo bad lol that's not how emotions and characteristics work. You can't project an emotion you want an entire group of people to identify as to make yourself feel better about YOU feeling that way. I swear jealousy makes the girlies act like weirdos. It's okay to be obsessed, I promise. I am too 🙃

I'll admit it, I used to look at a lot of the sagittarius suns I would meet and interact with sideways for some of their viewpoints on things until I recently realized something about them. A pattern I noticed about them is that during their upbringing, others around them (usually adults) will project their own toxic/problematic beliefs onto them intensely. That Jupiter influence is kinda of dangerous, beneficial for sure but kind of dangerous too.

I'm glad someone else made a post about how ridiculous some of the astrology "observation" posts can get because some of you get really out of line. I try to give a lot of grace bc I notice that a great majority of you are younger than 22 and that frontal lobe is not even near done baking but I wish that y'all would really sit with some of the things you're writing before deciding to post certain things. I remember writing in my last astrology post about how some of you believe people with prominent libra placements are lgbt+... never got an answer 🙃

Keeping the rant going, can we stop with the mad specific ass observation posts. I feel like we've lost the plot on astrology observations. Like why the fuck are you posting observations about Neptune in Aquarius in the 8th house cusp in a chart with a Libra stellium and a grand trine.............. girl if you don't gtf! If you want to talk about someone you know or yourself just say that!

With all that being said, I feel that it is important for those interested in astrology to seek information and education outside of Tumblr. Specifically from older astrologers. Not to come across as ageist against young people who are into astrology but some of the takes you guys tend to have do come off as you needing to live a little bit more and get more experience before judging certain placements/aspects/signs.

"most people i know with [insert a random negative stereotype about a natal aspect based on a few personal experiences with ppl here]" okay... wtf do you want the rest of us with this aspect in our charts to do about it? Like what do you hope to accomplish when you make posts like this? Seriously....?

For the sake of time, I'll leave y'all with this video of an astrologer I truly respect with her viewpoint on astrology and the shit that we need to leave in 2024, all of which I wholeheartedly agree with.

Till next time hoes, happy new year!

[emelinstriker]

☆ More ESAU Headcanons ☆

Happy New Year! :D

And since my recent art burnout's been a bitch, I decided to at least cook up something by writing down headcanons. Soooo here's some mostly trivial headcanons about the Champions. :)

☆ ~ Headcanons ~ ☆

☆ Wukong

>Did you know he has a collection of snacks hidden on his side of the bedroom? No? Now you do. Macaque already knew that since the start because Wukong isn't subtle about grabbing bags of peach chips from his hiding place. The bags are loud enough that Macaque's intense hearing isn't even required.

>He's also still a hoarder at heart. So don't be surprised if you find out that his closet is filled with items you can tell he doesn't need at all. The only reason the room itself isn't messy is because otherwise Macaque would forcefully shadow-portal his items away to keep things as presentable as possible.

>Not hard to figure out based on his design, but he's not really a fan of shirts. His cape and shoulder guard are fine, but an actual shirt or something else fully covering his torso feels like it's too much. He can get a bit annoyed when dressing up more as a form of disguise, but he also won't openly complain about it.

☆ Macaque

>Definitely holds the record for the highest kill count in the palace. Sure, he has a head start with how long him and Wukong had been servants before the others, but he still has more kills than his brother regardless.

>Him and Ao Lie aren't just besties in regards to them being both concerningly out of their minds, but they also both enjoy reading and gushing about fiction. You could find Macaque often hang around the library even before Ao Lie joined. Though, their tastes in the genres are a bit different. Macaque leans more towards overdramatic romantic books. Or just drama in general. They give him inspiration.

>He accidentally spilled just a tiny bit wine on the carpet once while trying to seduce a Master, and he never forgave himself for that ever since. He was so convinced that single mistake ruined his chances.

☆ Mink

>Despite the way he acts around the other Champions, he actually does care about them... somewhat. He certainly wouldn't be all that opposed to the idea of some of them suddenly disappearing. However, much like a previous point I talked about regarding him being physically unable to have a crush, the same principle applies to true hatred.

>He doesn't hate the others, contrary to popular belief. He just manages to annoy them to the point of some certain Champions wanting to fight and beat him up whenever possible. His blunt way of speaking and casual demeanor, no matter the regular emotion one would have in situations, only adds to why he's not well-liked in the group. That's him pretty much mirroring the Guardian.

>Deliberately leaves tiny pieces of his ink around the palace. The others believe it's just Mink being an asshole and refusing to fully retract his ink. But it's just him doing his job. They have no idea about the lost souls that walked into his small puddles.

☆ Nezha

>Daddy issues. Only really internally though since he can barely remember much of his family. But he does get a bit jealous whenever he sees one of his Masters have a happy relationship with their father. He can't explain why either, but he also would never admit to it. He's in denial.

>Secretly helps out Red Son in subtle ways. Like placing items he was supposed to find for their Master in an easier spot.

>His bed and its surroundings have so much pink and red going on, it looks like he's ready for Valentine's Day all year long.

☆ MK

>You know how his memory is absolutely the worst out of all of them? Oddly enough, he's a fast learner despite that. He may even retain certain parts of what he learned, especially if it involves muscle memory.

>Sleeps with plushies, of which some may be gifts from previous Masters.

>Gets this really odd feeling of familiarity whenever he see the people from that one noodle shop his Master sometimes sends him to. But he also doesn't like sticking around for too long because they've been trying to convince him to stay. That doesn't sit right with him. Their scents also made him suspicious. The green girl smells a lot like Ao Lie, so he doesn't trust her.

☆ Red Son

>Great at cooking and crafting, but horrible at gardening. Nezha can vouch. He once tried teaching Red Son a bit of gardening in case he couldn't tend to the courtyard for a while. It ended up in Nezha's soul nearly leaving his body at the sight of some plants catching on fire.

>If there's something like a broken toilet, he unfortunately is the one being asked to fix it. He's never been given any direct orders about it, but he ended up fixing such matters regardless to get a bit more recognition amongst the servants.

>He owns cute little cookie cutters in the shape of the Champions. One Master formed those for him, and he's enjoyed using those whenever he could.

☆ Azure

>"He asked for no pickles"-energy when out with the other Champions just to relax and hangout in the city.

>Unironically once put a leashed harness on MK after he managed to get lost too many times while the two of them, plus Nezha, were on a mission.

>Gentle giant with a heart of gold... But he also won't hesitate to swiftly crush someone if they were to go against any rules he himself follows. Of course, he would never willingly harm any of the other Champions, even if they sometimes do get on his nerves by breaking rules... We're going to ignore the fact that he has disposed of a few unruly low-ranked servants that spoke badly of his Master and their legacy.

☆ Ao Lie

>The wholesome persona he puts up is more fake than Macaque's glamor. They're both pretty much close to equally unhinged and psychotic, but Macaque is a lot better at hiding it.

>He's surprisingly skilled at crochet. It's actually something he started doing because Azure was trying to get him to open up a bit more, so he showed him how to make some lil crochet animals that Azure had learned from a previous Master.

>Bookworm who has dissected a Celestial Hunter out of curiosity before, as if it were a fun school project.

☆ Jin

>Without his brother around, he is actually extremely calm and laid back. Not that he isn't with Yin around, but it's a lot more prominent when his brother isn't hyping him up with more of his own energy.

>Really likes putting together puzzles and organizing things. Which is why he tends to help Ao Lie organize books that weren't properly put back. He's also really good at playing Jenga with how he also enjoys stacking.

>Gives off a calm dad-vibe similar to Azure, but a lot more nonchalant in the way he reacts to things. Unlike Azure, he's not really a fan of upholding certain rules.

☆ Yin

>Without his brother around, he tends to act more cold and somewhat more easily aggressive. Usually Jin would hold him back and balance him out with his calmer energy.

>He had a run-in with a Karen one time while him and his brother were on a mission in Megapolis, and now he really does not like socializing with the humans in the city. As in, you know those annoying moments where your parent meets a friend at a store at random and they start to small-talk, and you just want to go home? That's how he feels whenever his brother is being all laid back about socializing with the humans they have to interact with.

>Actually more experienced in close-combat than Jin. He used to rub that fact in just to tease him, until he lost in a sparring match to Wukong shortly after having joined the ranks of the Champions... No, the match wasn't required for anything, nor did Wukong even want to do anything at all that day. But Yin kept on boasting so much about his close-combat skills towards Jin that Wukong felt a bit annoyed and asked for a match to let Yin prove himself. Unsurprisingly, Yin lost the match fairly quickly, but it only made him respect the Blue Champion... Oh, and he shut up about his close-combat skills, which Jin was silently thanking the older Champion for.

[ Masterlist ]

[blissfulrain12]

Cockpit Conversation Analysis

So I just wanted to go over my thoughts on this conversation cause I think people miss out on a few things. It's the first conversation we see between Curly and Jimmy when it's just the two of them. Before it happens we're told that Jimmy has been difficult with Anya, making her job harder and saying things that are sexual harassment (if the cartoon horse question isn't actually on the eval). We go into the conversation with the framing that Jimmy and Curly are friends. They've known each other for a long time and Curly is confident Jimmy won't bullshit him. Except on the way to the cockpit we get Curly's one and only bizarro moment and it's an expression of fear and anxiety. With this context in mind let's look at the actual conversation.

Transcript from @familiarartistname they're awesome for providing these.

I've already talked about these lines a bit but to sum up Jimmy asks Curly to fake it and Curly refuses to forcing him to go through the eval.

What I want to point out for this post is that Jimmy's not wrong in his assessment of how useless the psych evals are. I think his general irritation with the eval helps mask his disdain for Anya. Especially if being attracted to cartoon horses is an actual question in universe and not just an easter egg on the in game eval sheet. If it is I think this is part of why Curly and Anya don't take Jimmy as seriously as they should here.

I also think it's important to note how and when Curly bends the rules. He'll do Jimmy's eval for Anya but he won't make up answers for Jimmy. I think this is an example of the balancing act that Curly is engaged in as captain.

These next lines are interesting to me. One is that Curly seems to take separation of what PE needs to know and not know. He makes it clear that whatever Jimmy says here is not going to be repeated to the company. He does something similar for Anya when he thinks she took the gun during a breakdown over the layoffs. Notably he doesn't open up to Anya during his own eval. I wouldn't be surprised if part of the reason he doesn't is because of a lack of this distinction. This is also another example of Curly doing that balancing act of being a captain. Managing what the company should know while protecting his coworkers' mental health.

The other interesting part is Jimmy's answer to the question. He likes it cause they're in control here. I think Jimmy is the most positive about working for PE and it's all because he feels in control. I think people miss it but Jimny is happy for the most part pre layoff. He's in control what more could he want?

I think it's interesting that he says this because on paper Jimmy's not in control. I've seen people call Jimmy Curly's co-captain but he's not. He's just the co-pilot and by the looks of things isn't actually of higher rank than the rest of the crew. Post crash it takes 2 months for him to take the captain title and he gets push back from the others. If he did outrank them or was co-captain leadership would have instantly passed to him but it doesn't. Yet Jimmy says "We're in control" because Curly's control is his control because he controls/leeches off of Curly. I think this line is our first warning sign that something's not quite right with their relationship.

This part of the conversation has a lot going on even though it's so few lines. First it tells us that Jimmy liking the job is unexpected because he's struggled in the past and people praise Curly as a captain and Jimmy doesn't like that.

Focusing on Jimmy's line I think this is the first line that people pick up on that their friendship is strange because who tells their friend people praising them is annoying? If you look at the flow of the conversation there's no reason for Jimmy to bring this up as well. It goes "How are you?" "Great" "That's unexpected because of your past" "Yeah well people praising you is annoying". They're not talking about Curly or how people see him as a captain. Jimmy brings it up and calls it annoying simply to hurt Curly.

Jimmy takes Curly bringing up his struggles as an attack so he attacks back by making him feel bad about something good. Remember that when Jimmy brings this up during the birthday scene he misquotes Curly as saying "struggle of a life" when that's not what Curly said at all. That's how Jimmy felt about it though. This also isn't the last time Jimmy uses Curly's success as a captain as a weapon against him either. The way Jimmy does this is also very emotionally abusive. Jimmy isn't just framing praise for Curly as bad but bad because it upsets Jimmy. It might not seem like much but comments like these are links in a chain, they add up together.

For Curly's part of the conversation I've seen interesting interpretations of what those "struggles" were but I think we do lose some context sometimes. It's important to remember that Curly thinks Jimmy's struggles would've led him to dislike being a freighter pilot. Meaning his struggles are most likely more personal in nature.

So Jimmy switches topics again by asking Curly what's bothering him. Jimmy also does this during the birthday party scene. He seems very intune with Curly's emotions able to see past any attempts to hide it and see that he's upset. Which does indicate their closeness and friendship.

As for the last line looking at this transcript made me realize how much the fandom associates this suicidal imagery with Curly even though it's Jimmy who says it. In fact I don't think Curly ever describes his feelings like this it's always Jimmy who says it about Curly. This is a very odd way to ask your friend why he seems upset and iirc the next time Jimmy brings this imagery up to Curly is right before he attempts a murder-suicide.

(The line "And that's bad?" should be green as that's Jimmy.)

Curly's answer to Jimmy's question is very interesting because it's not uncommon for people his age to feel this way. We spend the first part of our lives growing into, discovering, and establishing the people we're going to be. When we hit our 30s/40s it's natural to look over who you've become and what you've made for yourself and ask "Am I satisfied with this?" I think for Curly he's leaning towards "no".

It's not that Curly thinks he's above his job, he's just not satisfied in it. It's like how Swansea isn't satisfied with the life of a family man even though society says that's the "right" way to live. Curly is weighing the risks and benefits of staying in a steady job he's successful at vs starting over with something that will satisfy him even if he's not conventionally successful at it. It's a heavy decision to make and we know from the dlc for How Fish Are Made that Curly regrets not changing sooner.

As for Jimmy's response, he in fact doesn't get it. It's fascinating how Jimmy took Curly's words about life satisfaction and turned it into being about career success and hierarchy. Curly's feelings have nothing to do with reaching the top of his career but Jimmy can't see this. Jimmy sees the world through Capitalist/Patriarchal hierarchies and has a habit of projecting his feelings/pov onto others. This is the closest he can get to understanding where Curly is in his life right now. Which makes sense because Jimmy comes from poverty and has struggled in the past he's not at the same life stage as Curly.

It's also fascinating that again we see imagery that the fandom associates with Curly being something Jimmy says about Curly and that Curly never expresses. The only time this imagery comes up for Curly iirc is his bizzaro sequence leading up to this conversation with Jimmy. The ladder is a metaphor Jimmy imposes on Curly. He also kind of imposes this sense of ambition onto Curly. Like it's only natural that after reaching the top of one ladder a man would look for a new ladder to climb.

There's something about the last thing Jimmy says here that is necessary to point out because I think people miss it. Jimmy turns the conversation back to himself. He's made Curly's feelings about himself and once again made Curly's feelings in opposition to his own. Curly's dissatisfaction while being at the top vs Jimmy still climbing.

Lastly Curly knows Jimmy doesn't get it. "Something like that" indicates Jimmy's interpretation isn't right and later in the birthday party scene Curly reinforces this by saying things like "what I was trying to tell you". So yeah Curly knows that Jimmy doesn't understand him but doesn't try to explain further.

Curly's last bit of dialog in this scene is him comforting Jimmy. Remember how I said Jimmy recenters himself despite the conversation at this point being about Curly? This is what I mean. Jimmy asked Curly to be vulnerable with him and Curly ends up comforting Jimmy. Jimmy gives Curly no words of reassurance here, in fact Curly doesn't even get understanding.

In comparison see my Dead Pixel analysis where even though Curly doesn't see the pixel he still believes Anya and aligns with her opinion of the screen being nice. There's no alignment here between Curly and Jimmy, they are talking about 2 different things and it's one sided in Jimmy's favor. In the Dead Pixel convo notice how Anya continues to open up to him, she goes from the pixel to the time left to the locks. Curly in comparison stops trying.

This line also establishes Curly's belief in Jimmy. A belief that even this conversation demonstrates that he shouldn't have. But it's subtle and I can't blame Curly for missing all the things wrong here when so many of the fandom misses it too. We give the conversation the benefit of the doubt because they're friends and we don't know the full scope of Jimmy yet. It's also interesting cause this is the only time Curly says he believes in Jimmy outright and yet the way he believes Anya about Jimmy brings up questions for another time.

Alright last bit and it's from Jimmy himself. So two things from those first lines. One we have Jimmy back to feeling good from Curly's belief in him. A reminder that back when he was asked how he was doing he was fine. Jimmy's feelings are the priority here. Two we see Jimmy's insecurities in here. He's insecure about how his eval comes across. He's very insecure about how he's precieved which comes up again and again through his obsession with reputation, being a hero, and being a patriarch. I also think this points to where his struggles might be in. The evals are labeled as psychological but the actual questions are about employee productivity. Which part of that Jimmy is worried about I'm not sure.

Then we get the message from corporate and Jimmy is instantly out of there. Which brings me back to the beginning. Jimmy likes it there cause "we're in control" and yet when the responsibility of that control shows up he excuses himself. Granted there may be a rule that no one else can be in the room when messages come in but that reinforces the fact that Jimmy doesn't have any power on paper. He's not a co-captain. Jimmy's sense of control comes from his power over Curly.

So yeah my final thoughts? This conversation is unhealthy and it's the nicest conversation we see Jimmy have with the actual Curly. We get a little joking around here and there but one on one longer convos? This is as nice as it gets. In context Curly experiences feelings of fear, anxiety, and isolation on his way to this conversation. It's full of unhealthy moments and the one sided prioritizing of Jimmy's feelings. The status quo for them has not changed yet. If this is an example of what their average conversations are like their relationship is emotionally abusive.

Imagine having a friendship where you have to always prioritize your friend's emotions over your own. Where if you say something that bothers them they take verbal potshots at you. Where they make you feel guilty for being more successful. Where they make your vulnerabilities about them. It's like I said it's links in a chain. By themselves it's not a problem but together over time these behaviors will do damage to a person.

And putting this conversation back into context this is one of three verbally abusive moments we witness in the span of a week. And there are indicators that in each that these abusive behaviors aren't new. Curly in this conversation doesn't question Jimmy claiming control or the "praise for you is annoying" comment. None of this is weird to him and that's a bad sign. Abusive behavior was already normalized on the Tulpar, it was a powder keg waiting to happen.

[madametamma]

Okay! Picture this!

The pair goes on their cross country road trip, things are crazy. Zany mishaps occur. They take cars, ubers, trains, buses, and then when they finally make it to the town they wanted to to get to, they have their third act break up, and walk away from each other crying.

The pregnant lady goes to the appointment alone only to accidentally end up at one of those fake abortion clinics that try to manipulate you into keeping the baby. They take advantage of her already being in a bad mental state due to the break up and successfully convince her to go home and keep the baby.

Meanwhile the guy who got her pregnant went to the correct clinic and is confused as to why she's not there. A nurse tells him what most likely happened, because unfortunately a lot of people get tricked by that anti-abortion center. The guy has to race against the clock to get to the train station and stop her from going home before they lose their appointment slot!

"Daniel! Daniel! Wait!" He waves at her just as she's about to get on the train.

"I'm keeping the baby, Tim." She says without looking directly at him. "That's what I've decided! You don't have to be involved. I'm letting you off the hook."

"If that's what you really want, okay, but I don't think it is. You have so many dreams. You want grow old with 4 dogs and name them after the four horsemen of the apocalypse. You want to ride every roller coaster on the west coast, You want to sleep in on Sundays and hog all the blankets. You want to show up your annoying police officer sister who thinks she's better than you, because she "Helps the community", but all she really does it wait by the parking meter to hand out tickets the instant it runs out."

"You listened to all that?"

"I can't stop thinking about it. You have so many fun dreams. You are the coolest person I know. I- I love you Daniel."

*Two embrace.

"And if you really want to keep this-"

*Cuts him off with a kiss before telling him what she really thinks

"I love you too, and I think we have an appointment to keep."

*Tim smiles lovingly at her.

"I was afraid, but I'm not anymore. Lets get this abortion, and after that? What do you say we ride some roller coasters?"

there's an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they're now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I'm an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion

[sibyllinebooks]

more stiles fluff pls bc hes so lover boy

thank you SO much for asking i love stiles so much he IS lover boy i need him desperately

also sorry this is so short i’m still trying to kick whatever sickness i have </3

he’s so stupid in love it’s sickening ( or maybe that’s me but )

constantly talking about you and/or wanting other people to bring you up so he can talk about you more

he’s so big on PDA, it really doesn’t matter what form. he’s just so in love with you and he doesn’t care who knows it.

lingering hugs and forehead kisses and ruffling your hair and staring at you fondly while someone else is talking to him

“stiles are you even listening to me” and the answer is always no. not when you’re around. his thoughts are always preoccupied by you.

if you’re not too big on PDA though, he’ll try to tone it down and settle for holding your hand or playing with your fingers while you’re standing next to each other. he’s fidgety and he likes touching you, he can’t help it.

i feel like if you’re watching a movie together, you’re in his arms. you claim it’s because he’s a nice pillow ( and he is ) but really, it’s the feeling of being safe.

you know as long as you’re with him, nothing and no one is touching you.

he always searches for you in crowded rooms. you’re the first thing he looks for, the first person his eyes settle on. he doesn’t always have to be with you but he at least has to know you’re around.

i feel like he’s only ever fully vulnerable when he’s alone with you. his whole life is sarcasm and jokes to cover his real feelings but with you, it’s so easy to let it out.

sure, you talk about the deeper things that he doesn’t tell most people but it’s more than that. you make his racing mind quiet. you calm him in a way that he hasn’t had in maybe ever.

in those moments, it’s just you and him laying in bed and he looks so peaceful, so gentle it makes your heart ache. your fingers are running through his hair and his arms are around your waist and his head on your chest and there’s never been a more perfect moment.

i feel like the first time he says i love you is an accident. he’s been overthinking on how to tell you for ages, worried you may not say it back that it just comes out.

and of course you say it back. after that, he says it all the time. you could be sitting in the passenger seat of his jeep and he’s driving and he’s staring at you instead of the road and you ask him why he’s staring

“i just love you, that’s all” and he shrugs like that’s the only possible answer he could give

stiles is the type of boyfriend who sends you random articles about a subject just because you said you liked it once.

he does like seeing you in his clothes so he will always lend them to you. but also, he likes getting them back once they start to smell like you.

he’s also the type to sing you cheesy love songs off key to annoy you ( but you also find it endearing— not that you’ll tell him that )

he drives you to school a lot. he says it’s better than the bus and you’re not even that much out of his way so it’s really no problem ( and it’s 100% an excuse to spend more time with you and make sure you get to school okay. whether you actually get there on time is not relevant. )

he’s always telling you about the crazy shit he overheard from his dad’s phone calls and about school gossip ( because let’s be honest, that boy yaps. he knows shit. )

he shares his snacks with you. ( it’s such a simple thing i know but where i come from, sharing food is a love language )

speaking of food, i feel like you guys have dinner together a lot. if the sheriff has to work late, you’re either inviting stiles over to eat with your family or you and stiles bring food to the sheriff’s office to make sure his dad eats too.

and on the subject of the sheriff, he adores you. he’s not really the type to say it aloud but he can see how happy you make stiles and how much you take care of him. and he does appreciate that you take care of him too. it’s been a while since they’ve had someone else to look out for them both.

stiles will do matching stuff with you. halloween costumes? check. matching pajamas? check. same flannels? check. he may have complained about it at first but once you convinced him he was hooked. he thinks it’s adorable.

[awesomefringey]

everyone is over reacting over that blocked account 😭

antis and solos acting like he ended us larries when we have definitely have went through worst and when that block is probably related to other topic. God knows that fan is annoying as fuck so who knows what exactly granted that reaction from louis. Also, when he blocks antis suddenly they don’t care and a block is just a block

some larries acting like he committed some kind of unforgivable crime. Don’t get me wrong I’m annoyed because no matter what’s the reason behind the block antis and solos only care that the fan was a larrie and are gonna use it to justify the harassment but some fans are acting like he threw them down a flight of stairs. There’s probably better ways to deal with annoying fans but is not that deep.

or maybe I have been for so long that I don’t care anymore and everything is whatever

anyways, hope you have a great 2025. Love your blog

Oooh thank you, nonnie. 🩵 I was so rarely around this year. So it makes me very happy to keep receiving sweet messages like yours. Wishing you a wonderful 2025!

Amongst other things, I guess many people take his block so seriously because it’s either their first rodeo or they’re fed up by the toxic environment it creates.

This is just my perception, so take it with a grain of salt:

Since Harry stays completely silent about larries, it seems like Louis has taken it upon himself to handle the "Larry crowd control" for both of them. Opposite from Harry's fanbase, a significant portion of Louis' fanbase still consists of LGBTQ+ fans and therefore larries. While Louis often seems to cater to larries in various ways, the more his solo career grows, the more that part of his "personal story" gets dragged back into the spotlight.

Despite his stance of "people can believe what they want" and "there’s nothing I can do or say," it seems like Louis has an internal barometer, a gut feeling, or maybe even a social media report that tells him when that part of his fanbase (read: larries) becomes too overwhelming or reckless. And when it does, he’ll randomly lash out online. 🤷‍♀️

[lovelaetter]

⠀— hii just wanted to come on here and share my thoughts on soojin because she's just so adorable☹️

thinking about how soojin & mean housemate!reader :(( poor girl always feels like she’s walking on eggshells when you’re around , doing her best to not piss you off ‘cause the last time she did that (accidentally breaking a glass cup or something), you ended up yelling at her like no tomorrow, raising your voice to the point she felt tears start to form in her eyes :(

but even though you scare her so bad she just can’t help but feel hot around your presence, it confuses her so bad because she doesn’t know whether or not she wants to scurry back into her room or just get on her knees in front of you😞

adding onto that; fuck girl!reader who brings girls over to their place every other day, it’s a nightmare for soojin since you don’t bother to muffle any noises that they make—the thin walls making it even harder for her to ignore what was happening since all she could hear is them moaning your name :( she wants to knock on your door, ask if you could tone it down a bit but she’s just too scared to—well, that and also the fact that it just gets her so wet!

babygirl feels so conflicted; she’s annoyed and restless, but at the same she’s so turned on, wondering what it’d be like to be in positions with those other girls—having you fuck her brains out until she’s a crying and blabbering mess ☹️

(this is such a mess but anyway— have a nice day!)

– 🦕

DUBCON (INTOXICATION)

it’s funny how i read something and go “hm, how can I make this worse?”… so hear me out: intoxication, drunk!soojin.

you are mean to her and you know that, obviously, but the fact that she put up with your shit does intrigues you and makes you so fucking interested in her somehow, like, this easy? pretty baby sticking around even with you mistreating her like that? there has to be something going on with her, she is the perfect plaything for you. and you want to fuck her, so bad, has to hold back from taking her by that delicate neck of hers so many times when she pisses you off, but you want her to beg, break down and cry for you to take her like you do to the girls you bring over, you want a reason to humiliate her just a little more, look in her pretty eyes and make her cry saying you didn’t know she was such a slut.

things getting a little out of control when you throw a party and your eyes find her, drinking and chatting with a few, an idea coming to your mind and in a blink she is under your arm, eyes shining looking at you and so confused and you’re being so… nice? and offering her a drink and another and another and another, until she is leaning completely onto you, movements sloppy, eyes heavy, warm breath against your neck and laughing at the way your hands run over her body, sliding under her top and feeling her tits.

poor baby, doesn’t complain even when you take her top off, only muttering a whiny “nooo” but not moving to hide herself. there’s a lot of people, not everyone sees, but some do throw you a few glances, i mean, everybody that knows you, knows your roommate, so seeing her in your arms drunk like that only in bra and pants? it’s something. your hand resting on her belly, just above the button of her jeans, whispering “you want me to fuck you here, in front of everyone?” and it’s as if she comes back to reality briefly, looking around, at you and shaking her head, lips wobbling and tears in her eyes as you laugh and call her a whore.

doesn’t matter, though, you want that pussy and you’re getting it, easily. taking her to your bedroom because despite everything you are not letting others be cruel to her, she is yours to hurt. i can see her repeating over and over that she is not a whore while you’re undoing her jeans, shutting up only when you grab her face forcefully to look at you and your other hand finds her slit. you could do nothing, just let your hand there, she would be a moaning mess, so loud, bucking her hips and getting your palm sticky.

you can do what you want with her body, all night. slurp on her puffy cunt until she creams all over your face, stuff her full and hold her down as she squirms and screams because it’s too much, mark her up, grab her by the hair and ride her face until you cum and more just to get her messy, it’s your call. and when she wakes up next morning with your taste in her mouth and her hole aching, ass red from your handprints, you asleep by her side, she doesn’t know if she screams, if she cries, if she wakes you up— but i don’t think she would complain that much if you decided to deal with her panic by tossing her around a little.

[dailymanners]

A very bizarre phenomenon I've been thinking about lately is how much people who have a habit of treating conversations like a competition focus on turning conversations into a competition of negativity and suffering.

A few examples of what I'm talking about:

Person A: Phew, I sure am tired and out of it today, I only slept for about five hours last night

Person B: HA that's NOTHING! I wish I had it as good as you! I only slept for THREE hours last night! *had a smug shit eating grin like they just won the conversation and should get a trophy for their conversational victory*

Or

Person A: Whew, I had a weird dream last night.

Person B: HA you know NOTHING about weird dreams! Mine are so fucked up there's no way you'd be able to handle my dreams!! *cue smug shit eating grin and a sense of winning the conversation and dominating their conversational partner*

I mean, don't get me wrong, "ha that's nothing (gives an example of something worse) can be done in a friendly joking way when talking about some experiences, but you can tell when someone says it in an abrasive way accompanied by a smug shit eating grin that this is someone trying to win the conversation by out-suffering you.

I assume the type of people who try to "win" conversations by turning every conversation into a competition of who has it worse (and you just know they're in it to win it) are people who feel starved of attention and compassion and are desperately trying to get some.

However, this is by far the absolute worst and most juvenile way to get that attention and compassion they crave. I guess I can understand when teenagers do this, but when co-workers in their 40's and 50's are still doing this it is, to put it bluntly, it's rather pathetic that they haven't learned better ways of getting attention and compassion by now, because this is a really good way just exhausting and annoying other people rather than making them feel sorry for you.

That might sound harsh and mean, but I have little patience for grown adults who still lack the ability to try to get attention and compassion without trying to putting other people down. It's ironic that their methods for getting what they want are by putting others down and robbing them of the very thing you yourself want so badly.

At the heart of this method is some core belief of "only I truly know suffering and nobody else could possibly know suffering the way I do, and I need to make this clear to others by belittling their hardships and inconveniences and making sure they know that only I truly know what it means to feel bad."

In other words, this behavior comes from a place of selfishness and unwillingness to feel compassion for the hardships, suffering, or even just inconveniences of others. It's main character syndrome.

I can forgive when someone without a fully developed prefrontal cortex does it. However, from a grown adult, if you think you are the only person whose hardships truly matter and this justifies belittling other's problems, you need to grow up.

When having conversations with others, avoid being contrarian for the sake of it, and avoid one-upmanship.

Although you're not necessarily a bad person if you find yourself being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian, or trying to one-up everything someone else is saying, as these are behaviors people often do subconsciously when they're feeling insecure, threatened, or even if they're trying to impress whoever they're talking to, it's still important to try to be mindful of it.

You are certainly allowed to disagree with people, there is nothing inherently rude about disagreeing with someone, as it is possible to politely and respectfully disagree. Just ask yourself, do you genuinely disagree with your conversation partner? Or do you just feel as though contradicting for the sake of it will make you appear smarter or more confident?

Some people might think it makes them appear smarter or more confident to always contradict and/or one-up, but it often has the opposite effect making you actually appear insecure and/or possibly ignorant.

If you're being unnecessarily contrarian or repeatedly one-uping your conversation partner, there's a good chance you're frustrating and/or annoying them. Many people find it exhausting for conversations to be treated like a competition.