#im starting to run out of stuff to make the things i wanna make so its kinda demotivating as i cant restock stuff so. yeah

[sturn5iolo]

BECOMING THIS

synopsis: you and matt broke up and now your slowly losing yourself, and becoming someone you hate.

pairing: ex! matt sturniolo x f!reader

warnings: angst (not really) , drinking / drugs , use of y/n (i’m sorry)

you grab another plastic red cup, filing it with random alcohol siting on the counters not even daring to look at what they are. taking the mixed concoction, chugging the whole thing in seconds. you feel the burn go down your throat as you stumble forward onto the cold counter of a strangers house. 

a few hours before, your friends had to beg you to come to this party. of course when they asked you were high off your mind and you agreed.

you feel your friend ava come up behind you, “hey do you wanna come sit with me, you don’t look too good..” she spoke in your ear.

“noooo im fine let me do what i want.” you slurred out to her, pouring yourself another drink. ava walked away not wanting to budge anymore.

you move your body to a couch nearby. a brunette boy sat on the farthest side of the couch, you sit down a few inches away from him. he had a joint in between his lips and a lighter in one of his hands, you watch him from the corner of your eye.

he takes one long drag before pulling it away from his lips, suddenly as he blows the smoke out he turns and faces you, “you wanna hit?” he asks. you scoot closer to him while slurring out a “okay..”

the unknown boy moves the joint from his lips to yours, watching closely as you inhale the smoke. after a few long hits and passing the joint back and forth, you start coughing, feeling the alcohol and weed start to mix together and make you cross faded.

while sitting with the boy, your other friend gia comes running towards you and grabbed your arm, “there you are! i was looking all over for you,” she yells out loud to you over the music, pulling you away.

as you get pulled around someone bumps into you, making you stumble backwards a bit. it was matt.

“oh my bad i didn-” he starts but cuts himself off as he looks at your face. “y/n.”

your lips form a straight line as you nod. matt takes in your bloodshot eyes and immediately understands what is up, “are you fucking high right now?”

you scoff at him and giggle, “none of your business.” you say walking outside but matt follows you, “uhm actually yes it is.” he defends.

feeling the cold air hit your body was a relief, “how matt we broke up like two months ago?” you question, still having the weed and alcohol in your system barely processing this conversation.

“because y/n, you always hated stuff like that! you would try convincing people not to drink or smoke and here you are!” matt says to you. he knows exactly why your doing all this, and it’s because of him. he’s the one who broke your heart.

“i don’t understand the problem matt.” you bluntly replied. “the problem is this! you becoming this! i know we’re broken up but i can’t live knowing this is happening.” he cried out to you.

you run your hands through your frizzy hair, “well that’s too bad matt. your going to have to.” you smile, walking off into the darkness with just your phone in hand.

a/n : this is so horrible but i’m posting it anyways erm first fic on this account 🥲👏

[deoidesign]

One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)

We all start somewhere!

[the-kipsabian]

a shop update. theres seven new bracelets, three of them with two variations each so im trying a little bit of a different kind of listing style on these, bundling the same stuff up with variation options instead of listing them separately

got three chris brookes themed ones, two kip sabians, and two orange cassidys 💜

AND WE ALSO NOW GOT THE RANDOM BRACELET LISTING UP! in case you wanted one or more but couldnt decide what to get, now you can buy a randomized one (or more!) for a tad bit cheaper to see what the mail brings! anything not bought in the current shop stock is available, tho read through the listing for full details 💜

@princessxpunk since you wanted to be pinged when more oc stuff was available!

[silentoathprincess]

i love dmmd but i have seen you reblog about other nitro chiral games, how would you rate them? like which game do you like the most and so on, I've only played dmmd and i love it but seeing your posts makes me want to play those too!! love your blog

thank you anon thats so nice!!! ill try to keep this shortish bc otherwise i WILL infodump forever. and ill try not to spoil anything

dmmd is definitely my favorite! it is kind of an outlier compared to the other n+c games tho. it has a lot more comedic moments and the bright cyberpunk aesthetic is pretty different than the usual nitty gritty nitro chiral vibes. if you havent played reconnect you totally should! it adds so much to the characters (msg me if you cant find a copy online) and im forever trying to get my hands on the mizuki recode route lmao

togainu no chi and slow damage are about even for me. slow damage is the most recent one and might have the best story that n+c has ever written. its the only one without any supernatural elements but i think it makes up for it with compelling plot. its VERY dark but i think that makes getting to the end and figuring out all the mystery of the game v exciting. i DO wish the routes felt more...equal? like theres very clearly a true route and its very clearly the best of the bunch lmao. also give me an ikuina route pls hes sooo unwell <3

tnc is the first n+c game and its showing its age a little (i kinda love the early 2000s emo vibes tho). i think the premise for it is really intriguing! theres some killer world building and really fantastic bad ends (if you're into that sort of thing). the character personalities dont quite hit the same levels of intrigue as dmmd for me but theres not a single one i dislike. theres an extra character in the re-release tnc true blood too but ive never been able to get a copy

i'll be so honest, i did not like sweet pool at ALL when i first played it. theres some fantastic fanart out there thats actually swayed me back around to liking it more but like. i didnt know what i was getting into and i definitely should have read a summary first. i thought the thing about youji shitting meat was a running joke. i was not prepared for it to be like baby meat fetuses and cult omegaverse stuff. i like omegaverse but i wish i had been more prepared. its a low tier game for me tbh

i havent finished lamento yet! it took me years to get it working lmaooo im still in the common route. right now i'd probably put it between tnc/slow damage and sweet pool. its definitely better than sweet pool but its not hitting tnc/slow damage levels for me yet. i like the catboys tho catboys catboys catboys

per usual with n+c games id recommend checking out a warnings guide first just to be safe but let me know if you play any of them or which ones you like! i hope this helped!

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[rubiesintherough]

.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[eternally-tired-cryptid]

on one hand I wanna write my fic ideas wherein my marvel oc gets sent to the alternate universe of Gotham and hijinks ensue whilst she tries to survive and get back and the batfam and such slowly learn more info abt her world and how it's being threatened atm and she needs to go back and help and whatnot.

But on the other hand, the readers wouldn't know the marvel related backstory of this OC and would have. No context for her going in

But ALSO then the readers would know abt as much abt this mysterious figure as the batcrew do, and get to learn via flash backs and her slowly revealing info to them as safety allows

Then there's also just a general. Idk if there's any sort of oc etiquette when it comes to writing oc centered fics? My brain goes so hogwild when I read anything that I usually avoid oc fics other people write just bc I usually read and enjoy fics at face value but I also go "now what would happen if this OC was here?" And that gets real complicated when other people's ocs are involved

[todayisafridaynight]

oh my god i forgot to share my delulu-ass dream where i made a masadai doujin

[kuiinncedes]

bro

[stevebckley]

Steve lost confidence after Nancy and now cannot comprehend blatant flirting. Like he can flirt with someone if he starts it but if he’s not initiating? He’s clueless.

The Corroded Coffin boys have a very unserious bet going to see who can get Steve to finally realize he’s being flirted with because Eddie’s been trying for months without success.

Gareth brings him homemade food and tells him how good he looks.

Jeff makes them learn his favorite song so they can play it for him on stage.

Freddie even brings him flowers and Steve just turned bright red and stutters out a confused thank you.

The three of them are at wits end after a few weeks and finally all traipse into Family Video when they know just Robin is on shift by herself to ask her what the fuck is wrong with him.

She laughs so hard she nearly falls off the counter. When she collects herself finally she explains that after everything, his idea of friendship includes all the this stuff.

Flower, and affection and attention? All things that Steve does for her and anyone he loves. Fuck, I mean they sleep in the same bed half the time!

“Honestly guys, short of someone marching up to him and telling him that they wanna take him out on a date and make out with him, he’s not going to assume anything.”

This leaves the group in kind of a state of confusion, Eddie managing to look completely lost in thought.

It all comes to a head during their next band practice.

Steve joins them like he always does when he doesn’t have work, letting himself into the garage and flopping onto the couch with Gareth and Freddie.

He automatically tosses his feet over Freddie’s lap, tucking his head into Gareth’s lap in a blatant excuse to let Gareth run his fingers through his hair.

Eddie is running late, so they’re all just waiting when Gareth can’t hold it in any longer.

“Are you as dense about people flirting with you as Robin says or are you deliberately ignoring it? I can never tell.” He feels bad now because Steve has stiffened under his finger.

“What do you mean? Who’s been flirting with me?”

All three boys start to laugh but it makes Steve shrink further into himself.

“No, no. I’m sorry, we are being assholes Steve. But honestly we’ve been flirting with you for weeks! Freddie brought you handpicked flowers, I’ve been making you cookies and Jeff serenaded you on stage!” Gareth is trying not to notice as Steve’s face flushes deeper and deeper. “That’s not to mention everything about Eddie.”

Steve is quiet for a moment, voice sad as he asks them if they only were being nice to him because they were flirting with him.

Gareth’s heart breaks a bit as he assures Steve that they were only really trying to make him feel loved and were being silly.

“We wouldn’t have done any of that if we didn’t wanna be friends with you, babe. You just get really cute when you’re flirted with and we’re all only men. Can’t resist a pretty face.”

Gareth is interrupted by Eddie busting into the room wearing a tee shirt that proudly proclaims ‘PLEASE MAKE OUT WITH ME STEVE IM VERY INTO YOU!”

Steve very easily pulls himself upright, launching himself into Eddie’s arms with a grin, dragging their mouths together in a very loud kiss that gets the whole room cheering.

“I’ve been waiting for you for months, Munson.” Steve says, loud enough for the whole room to hear.

Gareth groans and throws a pillow off the couch, pegging it off Steve’s back.

“Don’t even act like he’s not been flirting with you for months! It’s not that man’s fault you’re dense!”

[evilslushy]

would you be open to doing bf headcanons for hamzah? they could be sfw and nsfw or just sfw. love ur writing :). <3

BF Headcanons _♡

SFW

i’m a very opinionated person, so asking me about my hamzah headcanons is a FIELD DAY for me

I’ve always said this but I feel like hamzah (in the beginning of the relationship) is very shy? Not in the way of “ignore any possible interaction between you and him” but more of a “ignores eye contact after a kiss” or “blushes when you call him a nickname for the first time”

He acts like he hates when you baby him but behind closed doors… BIGGEST BABY EVERRRR

It took him a while to hold your hand in public, not because he's embarrassed but again because he gets too flustered when you run your thumb up and down against the back of his hand,,, or when you play with his hands in general.

I MENTIONED THIS BEFORE IN FIC BUT HAMZAH IS AN EAR BLUSHER AND HE'S SO CUTE WAA

If you get on his lap and play with his hair while talking about random stuff, and you kiss him out of nowhere HE’LL SMILE THIS BIG SMILE AND COVER HIS EARS IM CRYINGGGGG HES SO CUTE

Speaking of kissing lololol

Hamzah’s kisses are SENSUAL, he takes his time and really makes sure you feel his love

Contrary to popular belief i feel like if you’re with hamzah for long enough his love language becomes physical touch

And i dont say that and mean ONLY kisses but hes such a cuddly person. HE NEEDS THAT TLC HES A BIG BOY

BUT. Big but! He is not the type of person to show affection publicly IM SORRYYY

Holding hands and hugging is fine but i think more intimate things he’d rather do in private…

Not because hes embarrassed as i said, he gets shy at other people perceiving that version of him especially since he isn’t ‘acting’ or ‘joking’

Also he feels like only you deserve to see him like this hehehe

His love language is quality time. Like actually.

His head on your chest, playing stardew valley on his ipad. You watching TV or reading while playing with his curls.

Another form of this is that he’ll ask you to be him and martins cameraman just to have you there with him

Or he’ll ask if you want to try a new coffee shop that opened down the street

He’s a man that likes to be around you 24/7

ALSO ALSO ALSO OMG OMG

HE WOULD SO FORCE YOU TO DO BACKGROUND VOCALS FOR SOME OF HIS MUSIC LIKE THE RAPPERS HE LIKES LMFAO

I dont wanna go on too long with this but one thing is for sure

You’re his princess for REAL treats you like ROYALTY lol

If you guys get into an argument. Even if you’re wrong, he ends up apologizing

“I shouldn’t have let it boil over to this anyway.”

10/10 boyfriend. Totally recommend.

NSFW

SISTA. I HAVE NEVER EVER THOUGHT I’D HAVE THE PLATFORM TO SHARE THESE THOUGHTS BUT I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YALL UNDERSTAND ONE THING!!!!

Hamzah is NAWT a boob or ass guy. HE LIKES BOTH EQUALLY. (He is secretly is ass-leaning tho LMFAO)

This is so funny but he totally is the type to smack your ass randomly when he walks by.

Do you get mad? Yes. Do you tell him to stop it? Yes. Does he stop? No. Do you secretly think it's kinda…? WELL YESSS

TWO WORDS. Boob squeezer.

I think from what we can understand so far. is that Hamzah is the handsy man. HIS HANDS ALWAYS SOMEWHERE LOL

sex drive is for sure high. and when i say high… ITS HIGHHH

Contrary to popular belief AGAIN.

Hamzah doesn’t partake in dirty talk much… not that he doesn't like it—he just wouldn’t in my opinion? It's not that he wouldn’t talk at all, but he is more of a heavy breathing, whimpering, moaning guy—pretty much more noises than actual words

Though as i said, he would talk sometimes, especially if he’s feeling really good, or his stamina is lasting him longer than he thought… he starts getting a little cocky

On the topic of dirty talk, if he does talk, 99.9% of it would be praising, i don't see him enjoying degrading unless you ask him to.. but he’ll be a little awkward about it LMFAOOO

Something like: “fuck, baby you’re taking me so good.”

(Unironically starts actually using good girl after a while of making it a joke btw)

Someone sent a request a few days ago and said “i feel like hamzah has a breeding kink” and why was i gagged?! NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT YES, i feel like hes more into the thought filling u with *** then the thought of impregnating you if that makes any sense

Im talking too much… digital footprint go hard.

(A/N): this isnt proofread, i kinda braindumped but i had fun doing this!! Thank u anon for the request I HOPE U LOVE THIS CUTIE MWAAAAHH

[yayll]

omg PLSPLSPLS GIVE US GIRLDAD!DAZAI!!! Im literally so obsessed w ur work and luv luv luv reading it <3

just wanna say thank u so much anon for sending in the CUTEST request ever i have never thought abt it this way and when i finally did it was over for me. it wrote itself. THANK U FOR LIKING MY WORK THATS SO SWEET AHHH :') i keep getting ill so srry it's a lil late but i am so thankful for you trusting me w ur concept. mwahhhh.

~ a little something about girldad!Dazai simply trying his best, and loving it ~

Dazai never thought the day would come when his life finally felt complete. First, you happened to him and that was something he couldn't even fathom in a million lifetimes. It wasn't meant for him, and letting love into his heart felt like going against the nature of things. He struggled with it for a long time, pushing you away and making sure you realized this wasn't something worth pursuing... but you never relented, and he stopped fighting the longing for something more. You made him feel it was okay to want, to yearn, to need. And so came along every single repressed desire he had ever had. The love between you bloomed, and he thought this was the height of it all; The bandages he wore over his body were no longer grim reminders of his lack of humanity and the masks he wore on the daily. Those frayed wraps of fabric were symbols of love returning, of patience, of a lived in soul, and he no longer had to maintain them alone. He had you.

And then one day, he suddenly had a little girl in his life.

Another life to nurture and to start anew with, and his fear was that he yet again could not redeem himself from his past, but he was determined for her, for you and for himself to not let that be the case. When you gave him the most precious thing he didn't think he ever wanted nor could ever have, that was the day he vowed to be the epitome of a true figure worth looking up to. Osamu Dazai, the family man! Dad of the year!

... Except today, when he woke up late to take the apple of his eye to preschool. You were out of town, and though you eventually claimed to have faith in his solo parenting skills, it was a complete leap of faith. He comforted you for hours, how hard could it be? He can be both parents at once! How cruel of you to even doubt him. He remembers the look on your face when he slammed the door on you while holding your precious angel in his arms, both of them giggling while they waved you off as if they rehearsed it.

Aaaand now he realized why you were so worried. He looks at the time and he springs out of bed, running off to her bedroom. She even sleeps like a little lamb, he thinks to himself. He rushes at her side and softly turns her over.

"Little love, wake uuupppp..."

She pouts, shaking her head as she shifts in her sleep. He sighs and tries again a little more desperately.

"If you wake up, that will be really good for daddy, otherwise mommy will kill me! Up we go!"

He picks her up, and she rubs her eyes as Dazai does the most rushed morning routine ever.

He gets her dressed, though the socks don't match, and when he does her pigtails, they're lopsided. How do you do it?! And now he has to FEED her?! He stuffs a few handfuls of cereal into his mouth while giving her a proper bowl, but they're so late he thinks they should just start walking now.

"Take the bowl with you, we can do this thing called eat and walk! Yes?"

"'Kay, daddy!"

She simply giggles, not understanding how dire it is for her to make it today. She holds onto her cereal bowl as he grabs her backpack, both of them walking out into the street. Dazai's fast walking and her bowl sloshes a bit as she tries to match his pace and eat at the same time.

She's waddling adorably, and he gets lost in watching her carefully while also literally getting lost finding the school. He stops at the crosswalk, and thinks to himself. She looks up at him with a milk mustache, and her soft melodic voice rings once more like a voice of reason. She points to the right.

"That way! hehe."

Dazai has no time to fact check this, and at this point she's parenting him. You'd pass out of laughter if you could see him right now. They rush towards the school, and when he drops her off at the gate, he gives her a big kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, okay? Now give daddy the cereal bowl. How yum was that?"

She cheers, smiling wide.

"Yum!!!!"

He smirks, and takes the bowl. At least he got that right, that smile alone is worth every late start to his mornings. He waves at her as she enters the school, and forgets he's holding the bowl still, her teacher looking at him like he's deranged. You were so proud to hear that his first time parenting alone went so smooth! What you didn't know was that your little girl did most of the work keeping him on track. Still counts, right?

Another time he was exemplary was when he had just given her a bath and you were supervising to make sure he got her routine down.

"Osamu, that's the conditioner. The shampoo is over there."

You laugh while pointing at the clearly marked bottle. He rolls his eyes, smirking as he continues to rub it in her little swirl of dark hair.

"Oh please, I knew that. This makes it soft! And all detangled... It's a better routine, trust me. This is so much better."

He was totally bullshitting, he had no idea there was more than one hair product ever. This is the same man who used to find showers foreign and eat canned crab for every meal. You simply nodded, seeing right through his facade. But it was all so endearing watching your daughter splash the water on his face and play with rubber duckies, it was a dream come true. It was a dream you knew was more precious to him than anything, so you let him have his fun.

Once bath time is over, he places her on the bed in her diaper and walks out to grab her a change of clothes. Uh oh, he forgot today was laundry day! He walks back into the room a few moments later, thinking of how to pivot without having to bother you when he sees his little angel wrapped head to toe in a full roll of his bandages. His eyes go wide at the sight of the wrapped up toddler, and he laughs nervously as he rushes over while she has the time of her life squealing and rolling around the bed. He pretends to be mad.

"Little love! That's not clothes, silly! That's for daddy only, you have your own."

She simply disregards this, her mind focusing on how hilarious it would be if she just started making bubbles with her saliva instead. Dazai chuckles again, and puts his hands on his hips.

"Oh, such attitude! You know, l'm gonna have to do it... Remember when I told you about daddy's old job? I'm gonna have to get mean againnn..~"

He immediately launches himself onto the bed, tickling her through the thick fabric, and when you rush over you find them both just collapsed on the bed, Dazai counting her fingers and toes in order to distract her enough to unwrap her. Luckily, you had a spare onesie for her to save the day... even if it took the both of you to get her out of her improvised outfit. What a strong willed little one! You hoped this wasn't a special abillity developing...

It's no surprise she's a daddy's girl either, a mini Dazai at her core with your balancing characteristics on the surface. She was a little menace, sticking her tongue out at dogs every time she saw them because Dazai would do the same. He would even go as far as to help her dress like her hero! Of course you both had a stroke when you saw how tightly she wore that bolo tie, but the laugh after was worth the worry... After you scolded both of them... but it proved useless against two of the most experienced charmers you've ever met. You just couldn't win.

You especially could never get used to the sight after a long day of existing in the real world, simply watching her climb up to the couch and playing with Dazai's hair as she nuzzles herself into his shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. It was just as intense for his poor little heart as well. The way she'd yank on a strand while he pretended to be asleep was priceless, or when she'd stick her finger in his nose, causing him to have a sneezing fit soon after. It was almost karmic the way she both adored him and put him in his place, just like you.

"Daddy has brown hair because he drinks chocolate milk."

"Daddy stinks today. Throw him away!"

"Daddy looks like a mummy. Do you like mummies?"

"Who's Kunikida? He yelled at daddy today, it was funny!"

She'd babble on about all kinds of curious nonsense. You'd simply nod and agree. She was never wrong!

But what really got to you was watching her pass out on his head after hours of playtime, and the way Dazai would finally open his eyes with that smug smile of his, scooping her up and carefully taking her to bed. He tucks her in, whispering about all the adventures they'll have tomorrow and the days after. About all the rules they'll break together, and mysteries they'll solve when he takes her to work with him. He doesn't tell bedtime stories per se, but he spends all his time having actual conversations with her until she dozes off because he cannot believe this is a little extension of him and he's just as fascinated with knowing her the way she is with him. With life.

She's full of it, something he wasn't for a long time, and it brings him to tears when he sometimes thinks about it too long in private.

You're both his life and he didn't realize he could still feel regret like he does when he thinks of all the times he spent trying to end his own existence. It's a whole different world, and sure, he also loves to use her as an excuse to continue to slack off at work, and maaaybe he likes to sometimes force Atsushi to turn so she can pet him like the giant cat he is out of both their own entertainment, but dying is no longer the priority. It hasn't been for a long time, and he thinks he's doing an okay job... At being a dad, at being a human, at belonging in this world.

When he finally gets in bed with you, he feels whole. He also feels impish when he turns over and whispers.

"Maybe it's time for another, hm?~"

Oops!

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #1: DYAD

(also on spotify!)

Hello everyone!! It's been a couple weeks and change since Constant Companions, my newest album, was released unto the world, and I've been genuinely blown away by the response. Genuinely, thank you to everyone who's been streaming, commenting, making mashups, changing their pfps and usernames - it means the world to me!

I wanted to give some of that love back with something people have been asking me a lot about - and, admittedly, something I love doing. Song explanations! Deep dives! Dropping the lore! Welcome... to the Constant Companions Closeups...

For the next eleven days, I'll be going into each track one by one and babbling about the process, inspiration, details, feelings, and thoughts behind each one! We're getting sappy. We're bearing our hearts. We're telling unfunny jokes. And we're starting with track one - DYAD (featuring unit.0)!

---

Naturally, since this is the first track, it also serves as a great point to talk about my intention with this album as a whole!

I'll elaborate more on this with future tracks, but to me, there are really two main things that define the sonic progression of this album versus my previous work - guitars and vocal synths. Obviously, these things have been present in my work since I first started calling myself Jamie Paige, but Constant Companions is intended to be my overwrought, sappy confession of love to these two things that time and time again have made me simply want to make music. I love rock and I love Hatsune Miku dammit!!!

I had originally written this song in February of 2023 for a game-jam-esque online festival hosted by my friend Loni called HAPPY PARTY TRI, and at that time, I had found myself at a major crossroads. I had put out People Posture Play Pretend and :women_wrestling: the previous year, and while the response was nice, I was feeling listless and lost.

I love singing. I like my voice well enough. I certainly love writing music with lyrics!! But... there was something uniquely electrifying about using vocal synths. Amidst a lot of insecurity and emotional turmoil surrounding the process of making art and putting myself out into the world, it was one of the few things that just made everything feel right. Suddenly, I was making the same kind of music that had touched my heart so many times over.

Would it alienate people, though? Would I lose longtime listeners? Yes, that weighed on my mind more than I'd like to admit, but even more than that... I was worried I'd lose some part of myself, as silly as it sounds. Maybe what I thought was a bridge would become a barrier, and the messages I wanted to send across the gap would never find their way.

Ultimately, I felt that Dyad was the only kind of opener I could've possibly given this album, and a perfect fit for the album's motif. A dialogue between myself, stricken with loneliness and a lack of inertia running in circles, and that synthesized voice (ANRI Arcane my darling), grabbing the outstretched hand and asking a question I already know the answer to -

"Baby, do you know what you wanna hear?"

Yes, it's a love song, but it's not just for a person - it's a love song for the creative impulse, and for the places I wanted it to take me.

im resisting the urge to be jokingly dismissive of myself to diffuse tension but i still need to signal that the emotionally bare part of this is over so pretend im doing a funny little dance Anyways let's talk more technical stuff

---

Like many of my songs, Dyad came together from a patchwork of different snippets and ideas I had laying around. The back half of the chorus - "dream together, we can dream together" - originally came from this idea I had jotted down something like 9 months prior, but ended up being a perfect fit for Dyad in basically every way. The verse snippet that I'd written to go with it got reused for a later song on Constant Companions as well! (I say without naming it, as if it isn't literally lifted wholesale from this demo and thus incredibly obvious)

I wasn't originally planning on brazenly quoting the bridge of a Tally Hall song when I set out to write this song, but while toying around with a bridge idea involving a shortened version of the pre-chorus melody, I realized I had inadvertently copied it anyways. I was going to scrap it... but at the request of my dear friend and certified Tally Hall lover Marcy Nabors, I made it an explicit reference. Which I'm fine with, personally! The first CD I ever owned was a copy of Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum my sister bought me all the way back in 2006 - You can pry that sentimental attachment from my cold, dead hands, TikTok kiddies.

Lastly - not really behind the scenes so much as just a shoutout - thank you to unit.0 for the lovely lead guitar work on this song!! He's been a beloved collaborator of mine for many, many years now, and one of the people who ultimately convinced me this direction was the right one to go in, so it means a lot to share this song with him. Go listen to his music!!! Now!!!!!!

That's about it for this song! Not to sound like a fucking YouTuber, but genuinely, if there are any details you'd like to hear more about, let me know and I might made a bonus post at the end of all this. Otherwise, thank you for listening! Tomorrow: Not Quite There, featuring telebasher!

❤️💚

[lukalnst]

o em gee i was so happy to discover you and that you also wrote for alien stage! i’ve loved all of ur works so for and i couldn’t help but want to request something as well! would it be possible to request some hurt/comfort with till from alien stage? maybe you both got into a little fight or ur jealous abt something idk im not vv creative but feel free to skip this if you like! thank you for reading and have a great day <333

Jealousy + Till x Reader

Includes: Hurt/comfort, gender neutral reader, eventual fluff don't worry,,, light angst , a few kisses , short

A/N: I'm so glad you were happy to discover me heehhee ^.^

If it was jealousy, you were used to it.

Still, you really couldn't help but feel somewhat jealous when Till spent time with other people — yes, you couldn't have him all to yourself all the time, so you had to share him with other people... Still, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

The way he expressed himself with other people was... different. He was different when he was with you and when he was with others. Did he not feel safe enough with you? Were you not good enough of a partner? Many questions filled your mind, most of which you guessed would remain unanswered as for now.

He also seemed... content to be with other people. What if he found someone else who was better than you? Someone who made him feel more loved than you could ever make him feel?

It hurt so much just to think about it.

Eventually, you had grown distant from him. This didn't go unnoticed by Till, though. He noticed the small changes in your demeanor, the way you wouldn't share as much about yourself as you used to do.

One day, while you two were lying in bed, he tried to place his hand on your shoulder, to which you just moved away slightly. He couldn't pretend as if things were alright anymore.

First, he called out your name. "Hey. I can tell somethin' is wrong. Do you wanna talk about it?" his voice seemed to be gentler than usual, if you were upset, he didn't want to make you feel worse than you probably already were.

You stayed silent for a while, and you felt a small knot form in your throat. Despite this, you decided to reply. "It's – well... you just seem so happy to be with others, and... I'm not sure if you will be happy with me," you continued. "I mean.. what if you find someone better?" Your voice slightly cracked.

Till himself was familiar with feelings of jealousy, but he was much more shy about them. That wasn't what he wanted to focus on right now, though. "Someone better?" he asked.

"I really don't want anyone else, I want you. I don't care for others, really," He positioned himself so you could maintain eye contact with him better. "I want you with all of your flaws and imperfections... All that sappy stuff, I want you with all of your qualities."

Your eyes were filled with tears soon enough, many of whom were spilled and had started to run down your face. He wanted you with all of your insecurities — he managed to see right through them, too.

"Hey, don't cry," He uttered out. He was quick to wrap his arms around you and softly kiss your tears away. "I love you, so be happy, okay?" He planted a soft kiss on your cheek.

You hadn't exactly had someone care this much about you... most people wouldn't care to reassure or comfort you, but Till was different.

"One day, it'll just be two of us. You can ignore all the pricks who ever tried to take my attention away from you." He smiled softly at you, something which was an unfamiliar sight for others to see.

As he softly held you in his arms, you knew you'd be safe with him. He wasn't going to find someone better or leave you anytime soon. At least, that's what you wanted to tell yourself.

He softly whispered small words of reassurance into your ear, then pressed his lips against your own.

[cutecherrygirl]

Enhypen imagine

First time 🎀

Warnings: smut

Jake

-I imagine first time with Jake being very romantic

- Like he would for sure buy scented candles with your favourite scents and place them around the room.

- he would compliment you the whole time to make you feel comfortable.

-he would caress every part of your body softly and make sure to kiss every inch if your body after taking your clothes off.

-It would feel like you're in heaven and you loved it.

- He would just make you lay one the bed anf he would take control and do everything.

- when he pushes in, he would whisper sweet nothings into your ear to make you relax and with each thrust would give you a small kiss in your neck or face.

- I dont think he would like eat you out on the first time since you have lots of time to do that, he just wanted to take it slow yk

-after you're done, he lays next to you and pulls you close for cuddles. He draws small circles on your back as he kisses your shoulder, neck and jaw while you relax in his arms.

Heesung

- I usually think its awkward when you talk about wanting to have sex with your partner, cuz I always think it should happen naturally yk but with Heesung, I think he would want consent first and would be nervous.

-he is usually Pretty chill and stuff but this is something he things about all the time and is maybe even a bit insecure if he would do a good job.

- you talked about having sex on many occasions but you just didn't do it yet.

- you both wanted to be ready for this step.

- Heesung thinks that having sex is what can complete your relationship, intimate activities is what lead the couple to be more tied up together. Showing yourself to your partner like that is a really big step that he wants to take.

- this was the night that you will finally do it and he was nervous. Tons of thoughts were running through his mind like "what if im too small?", "What if she doesn't like my body?","Is it too soon?". He waited for you to come to his place for dinner.

- you came and you ate the dinner then sat on his bed to watch Netflix.

- you layed your head on his shoulder as you guys watched The vampire diaries. He would kiss your head occasionally and you would kiss his shoulder too because why not.

-after like an hour, you decided to speak up "baby.." you said softly while playing with the end of his shirt "wanna do it tonight?" You both blushed "sure" he said with a smile before leaning his head down and kissing your lips.

-he got on top of you and the kiss started to get more heated because thats how it usually goes.

-He slowly take off your clothes and his clothes too, You rest the back if your laps on top of his laps while he prepared the condom.

-it was a sweet little moment but weird at the same time. You were a bit nervous too but not as much as Heesung since he wanted it to be perfect.

-when he pushed in, all the nervousness went away and was replaced with pleasure.

-it was very nice and you both enjoyed it alot.

-after you're done, you both went to take a shower together and played with soap

Sunghoon

-we all know he is an romantic rat and he would go over the top 🙄

- when you come back home from work, he is in the bathroom preparing you a bath. You thought he was taking a shower so u just went to the kitchen to get a snack lol

-he filled the bathtub with water, put scented oils inside abd rose petals, he dimed the lights down a bit and lit up few candles.

-he then came downstairs and smiled at you "hey Baby" he said and hugged you from behind. You smiled back and kissed his cheek "hey, oh my god im literally so tired" you whined and he laughed then took your hand in his

-"i prepared something for you" he whispered in your ear and slowly led you upstairs and to the bathroom. When you saw what he prepared, you were shocked and suprised in a good way "Sunghoon.." you whisper and he kissed your cheek.

-he would start taking your clothes off slowly and sensualy while looking into your eyes.

-after you were completely naked, he would run his hands up and down your body very slowly. "You are so beautiful" he whispered while his eyes are locked on yours. You blushed and smiled softly, before you could say anything back, he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours into a short but loving kiss 😘

-you lay in the bathtub, your body wasn't visible because Sunghoon put bubbles in the water 😜

- "do you mind if I join?" He asks in deep voice and you smiled "sure" you nodded and sat up to make space for him.

-after he sat in, you both just relaxed together and smiled at each other still a bit shy.

-He then place his hands on your waist and slowly pull you to sit on his lap so you can be closer to him. You didn't mind at all since he is your boyfriend and you love him 😍.

-as you sit on his lap, you both would just giggle together and do silly stuff with bubble foam. But then you decided to kiss and the kiss was heated because the bath water was hot.

-you wrapped your arms around his neck and he wrapped his around your waist as you kiss.

-you felt him getting hard under you which made you moan into the kiss and it turned him on even more

- you started to move your hips against his, and he slide his hands on your hips. You break the kiss to cath your breath and he starts to kiss your neck while you grip his hair gently.

- "can you like...go in?" You whisper "yeah" he whispered back and did what you asked him to.

-after you finish, you both just relaxed in the bath and talked shit about others.

Jay

-he doesn't want to admit how long he's been waiting for this to happen because he is embarrassed and shy 🙄

- he had imagined how your body looks like under all the clothes you wear.

-it would be lie if he said he never got turned on by his thoughts of you 🤔

- you both layed on your bed and talked for awhile. Your legs are over his laps and he is massaging your thighs with his hands while you to talk

- "and then she said I was too loud, like excuse me bitch?" You said and Jay laughed which made you laugh too.

- he switched positions so he is now laying on top of you and placing kisses all over your face

-you wrap your legs around his waist just like you do when you cuddle. "Is your mom home?" Jay asked quietly and you think for a second before answering "no, why?" He smiles and pecks your lips "wanna do it?" He asks and you blush but nod.

-you both were super excited to do it, jay got up for a second to lock the door and close the curtains because at this time, neighbours usually hang their clothes out the windows 😬

-then he jumped back on the bed and you started kissing and making out. He took off your shirt and pressed his body against yours. You spread your legs so he can fit between them as you both kiss.

-he first grinded against you a bit Which made you both moan into the kiss and he suddenly got a bit of confidence when he heard you moan and he started grinding more.

-soon, both of your clothes were off. He pushed himself in and you lean your head back in pleasure. He was kissing your neck while thrusting.

-he made sure you had the best time ever

-after you finished, he layed on top of you to calm himself down and you run your fingers through his hair and kiss his head.

Jungwon

- this boy is a rollercoaster, he would be giving you signals that he wants to do it but when you guys are on your way to do it, he would get shy and just not want it anymore.

-you decided to let him be because its a very intimate thing to do and you dont wanna pressure him.

-you would catch him biting his lip while looking at you, and checking you out alot but you didn't think much of it since all boys are the same (they're not)

-one day, you decide to have movie night at his place because why not.

-you dressed up pretty casual but not warm enough since it was pretty cold.

-you sat on his bed shivering a bit from thr coldness, you only had Shirt on and it was with no sleeves "Babe, are you serious? Why didn't you wear something warm?" He aske you worried, you pout and look at him "because i didn't know it would be so cold"

-he git up and toss you one of his hoodies. You wore it and instantly felt warm. You can't help but burry your face in the hoodie to take in Jungwon's scent "i think I might keep this" you whisper and he chuckled "No way."

-something about you wearing his hoodie was extremely hot to him and it turned him on. He couldn't take his eyes off of you and focus on the movie. He even forgot what movie you two were watching 😭

- you caught him looking at you and smiled "why are you looking at me like that?" You asked in soft tone and he blushed "you're just hot" he said and now you were the one blushing.

-you stayed silent for a moment before saying "Jungwon! Oh my god you made me blush again!"you said and he laughed then threw himself on top of you and started hugging you.

-you hug him back and start placing small kisses all over his face "I wanna fuck you in that hoodie right now" he said, but you can tell it just slipped out without thinking. You stop and looked at him "Jungwon..." You started "im sorry...my mind spoke before me" he said embarrassed and continued "Im just so attracted to you..its making me crazy" he whispered and you blushed"then do it..." You said and be looks at you confused.

- "do what?" He asked "do what you said earlier" you bite your lip and he quickly kissed your lips.

-as he kiss you, he would caressing your sides and grip them gently. He would pull down your bottoms leaving you only in your hoodie.

-after you did it. He layed on top of you and burry his face in your neck to cuddle you.

Sunoo

-he came to your place after school and stayed there the whole day

-when the night came you guys were in your bed talking and cuddling.

-it was around 6 p.m. but it was already dark outside so it felt like it was midnight or something.

-you layed your leg over his hips and he had his hand around your shoulders and the other one was resting behind his head.

- you stayed like that for awhile before you got bored and lift yourself up so you are sitting on his hips. You smiled down at him and stretched your arms out.

-he smiled and place his hands on your hips. You slide yourself down so your and his are touching and you pecked his lips. He pecked yours back and gripped your hips a bit and press them more down into him.

-you smiled and kissed his lips, he guided your hips to grind more against him and then slide his hands down to yours ass to squeeze it playfully 😭

-he rolled on the other side of the bed so he is now on top of you and he kept kissing you a bit more hungry now

-you placed your hand on the back of his neck to keep him close while you slide the other one down to unzip his pants.

-you both had nice time and enjoyed every second of it.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-after that you just went back to cuddling and sleeping.

I deleted Ni-ki one cuz people were threatening me 😑