#or im begging him for help around the apartment or smth | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trickstarbrave · 9 months ago

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WIP WHENEVER

HIIIIIIIIII im very excited to share this wip. im so mad i wrote this out of order bc i wanna post it immediately. im looking forward tho to finally being able to edit and post it on ao3 normally

i got tagged by @caliblorn and @your-talos-is-problematic and im taggingggggg @woundjob, @thescrolls-haveforetold, @wellthebardsdead and my roommate @soundwavefucker69

here is smth for moon and star. lots of lorkhan talk. some chim. some trauma. even some dagoth ur

literally i was like "oh yeah. its all coming together" writing this also its long im sorry

also here is my god!nerevar sketch. can be interpreted also as just how lorkhan appears to neht and the ppl around him

Malacath’s hand touched his chest and pain wracked his body. Nerevar could feel the blade cutting away his skin—cutting through the bone of his sternum and splintering it. It ripped apart and opened his ribcage, before that damn hand was then inside his chest. His anxiety spiked as he could feel phantom touches on his heart, a hand gripping it, long claws digging into the muscle as it continued to beat loud and sturdy. His whole body had gone rigid, nostrils flared and his breathing coming in quick pants desperate to get more air in his lungs.

He was terrified. More than terrified, in fact. It was like being killed in the heart chamber but all the more worse somehow. He was choking now, gagging on blood—thick, black blood that was pouring from his chest, bubbling up in his throat.

And then Nerevar was overcome with the urge to laugh. To laugh besides the terror coursing through him, to laugh even though he was gagging and choking on his own blood. He knew he would die; it had been a part of his plan all along. He hadn’t known what death would be like, but he had anticipated it, at least on his own terms. And yet here Trinimac was, killing him himself. Ripping his heart from his chest.

He had intended the first death to be slow and simple. A fading ember rather than a bright, all encompassing flame that destroyed everything with it. He had intended to bear the burden as the cause of the first death in their reality where death did not yet exist—was merely a theory. But here Trinimac was, unknowingly mantling that sin himself. A cruel irony he would be the one to blame for this. It was not his fault, but it would be his responsibility and duty.

He’d collapsed at some point, gasping, crying, and choking on blood as Voryn held him close. Voryn shouldn’t see him like this—not his beloved, sobbing and begging. He couldn’t hear his voice over the drumming of his own heart but he tried to speak despite all the gagging he was doing. His gorgeous, sweet lover, his beautiful hawk shouldn’t have to watch him die like this. Not when Nerevar knew this was coming, deep down. Not when he had doomed them both, sacrificed Voryn’s life on the altar just as much as his own. He was regretting it now, if only because he couldn’t apologize; how could he speak when Trinimac had already ripped out his heart? How could he explain he never wanted to hurt Voryn in truth? How would his beloved hawk even react to his death? Oh the fury he could bring down, how he could drown the world in blood and tears if he was pushed to the brink…

And what of Azura, his sister? His poor, vain, vindictive sister… She hadn’t agreed to help him, but he knew she would be in a rage over his death. And even the man killing him was sobbing and crying, apologizing despite his lord—Nerevar’s own brother—ordering his execution. How could he apologize to this man? To tell him he knew he didn’t mean for it, that Nerevar was the villain all along in this story? Would that soothe his grief? Trinimac, Kyne, Azura, all of the others… How would they fair without him? Tears were now spilling from his eyes not from pain but sorrow that he wouldn’t be there to comfort and love them. Ah, if only he could kiss his hawk one last time…

“Nerevar!” Voryn’s voice finally cut through, and a disconnect happened in the vision. He was untethered now, the sensation of falling back into his own body hitting him, and his ears were ringing loudly, a dizziness washing over him. There were no more feathers on Voryn’s face or on his cloak—why would there be? Voryn wasn’t… Voryn wasn’t a hawk, why would he call him that so fondly? There weren’t even tears streaming down his face like he had seen before, but his face was in a grimace, pained watching him writhe and flail choking on imaginary blood.

His hand came up to his chest as he felt around, but there was no gaping wound like he’d expected. Why had he felt it so clearly then? His whole body was still shaking from the terror and pain, unable to calm the trembling.

“Do you remember now, Lorkhan?” Malacath asked, still standing over him. Vivec and Sil were currently being held back by the numerous orcs, though they were swearing up a storm and desperately trying to fight their way closer to defend him. Even Voryn had a spell prepared as he cradled Nerevar close to his chest, posed with the ferocity of a wild animal protecting its young.

“I-I’m not…” Nerevar began, though it felt like a lie on his tongue. He could still taste the metallic black in his mouth, the unnatural blood he was choking on. His body felt hot now, his mouth dry making the metallic taste all the more nauseating. “Lorkhan is dead!” He shouted definitively. Lorkhan was a dead god—long dead before Nerevar had ever been born as a lowly half blooded chimer in that ebony mine.

“And yet, here you are, alive and in the flesh.” Malacath responded, his expression unwavering. “I would know that heartbeat anywhere. I would know how you battle more than anyone else.”

“Stop it!” Nerevar shouted, covering his ears, still shaking.

“Why you deny it is my only question for you.”

“I’m not Lorkhan!” Nerevar growled, teeth bared. His whole body felt like it was burning, just like in the heart chamber. That supernatural chanting from his dream came back too, at the edges of his senses, as he fought back the urge to vomit. “I’m not Lorkhan, just shut up, shut up, shut up!!”

The next thing he knew, everything went black, the last thing he heard being his own heartbeat pounding in his ears and Voryn calling his name.

Nerevar’s eyes snapped open. His hands frantically touched at his chest, once again checking for the wound, only to find nothing. Still, the unmistakable ache was there, however faint.

“Where…?” He found himself someplace… Bizarre. There was stone architecture, that much he knew, but it seemed… Foreign, though they were in a state of disarray. It looked like some kind of abandoned tower, the roof having long since caved in, vines growing over stone. In the middle, where Nerevar was laying was soft grass and a few wildflowers. He sat up, looking around even further, confused.

“Damn Trinimac, causing problems again…” Someone behind him muttered, and Nerevar quickly turned to see--

Himself?

He jumped, panicked. No, no he could tell it wasn’t himself. He looked a lot like Nerevar, and sounded a lot like Nerevar, but there was something off about his appearance. He was taller than Nerevar--around Voryn’s height maybe? His hair was much longer too, not to mention he was wearing long robes Nerevar would never wear given how complicated and annoying they looked. Not to mention the longer he looked at him the more his appearance seemed to change--subtle ripples you had to focus on to know. His eyes subtly changed shape, along with his other features, sort of at random in moments where if you blinked you’d miss them.

“Apologies for that.” The man said, walking over and plopping down to sit next to Nerevar. “I never expected his followers to summon him, nor that he’d do something like that…”

“Who are you?” Nerevar asked, his heart still racing in his chest. The other simply plopped his chin in his hand, staring back at Nerevar, amused.

“You and your lover--both just asking questions instead of even trying to figure it out for yourselves…” He tsk-tsked with a soft click of his tongue and a shake of his head.

“How the hell am I supposed to know who you are?” Nerevar snapped. “I don’t even know where I am!”

“Easy, no need to raise your voice.” He still looked amused, despite Nerevar’s anger.

“Why in Oblivion do you look like me?” Nerevar demanded an answer now; he was in no mood to play games at the moment. He felt his heart being ripped out by that damn orc god and now he had someone playing mind games with him.

The other sighed.

“I am Lorkhan.” Nerevar’s blood ran cold.

“What…?” Nerevar stared in confusion and shock. “But Lorkhan is--”

“Dead?” He asked with a smirk and a quirk of his brow. “Don’t I know it.” Lorkhan then laughed heartily. “But when did that stop the dead from interfering with the living from time to time?”

“Why are you here?” Nerevar asked, leaning away from him.

“I thought it would be only fair to show myself to you after that stunt Trinimac pulled.” He explained. “Though I imagine the fact you were stabbed through the chest once before only made it that much harder for you.”

Nerevar was trying to figure out the situation he was in, putting the pieces together the best he could. Several daedra called him Lorkhan, and here was Lorkhan looking remarkably similar to Nerevar. Was it possible people were mixing them up based on appearance? That didn’t seem quite right; it would make sense for Malacath and potentially Dagon, but Dagon didn’t call him Lorkhan initially, and not to mention it wouldn’t explain the nords. He doubted the elf hating people of Skyrim would so readily accept an elven appearance for their chief deity. Nor did it explain the strange, supernatural beating of his heart that drove him to accomplish strange feats out of sheer willpower alone.

“... Why do you look like me?” Nerevar repeated his question again.

“Come now, I thought you’d be smart enough to figure that out.” Lorkhan laughed again.

“Answer me.”

“Well,” Lorkhan’s grin looked mischievous now. “It’s only fitting I look like you because I am you, don’t you think?”

This time a numbing tingle followed the chill in his blood. “Y… You…”

“Or well, I suppose it might be easier to understand if I say you’re a part of me.” Lorkhan continued. “You wouldn’t be the first mortal to be a fragment of me, anyways.”

“I’m not you!” Nerevar snapped, gritting his teeth. He did what he was best at: lashing out when he was truly scared and confused--when problems became too difficult to ignore or solve on his own. “I’m not you! I’m not Lorkhan!!”

Silence followed, the faint sound of birds chirping having vanished, the sky turning a stormy gray. He was panting from his outburst of yelling, but the screaming hadn’t really solved anything. Lorkhan was still sitting in front of him, looking at him with a serious expression, unphased. He was still in this crumbling tower, sitting in the grass.

How long could he run from this? Daedric princes called him Lorkhan. The nords called him Shor. The strange visions he received that only made sense if they were Lorkhan’s memories, not to mention his heart--

Nerevar curled up, hands moving up as he felt a pain in his chest, clutching his shirt tightly.

He was scared. He was scared and he didn’t know what was going on. He was terrified because ultimately, he didn’t know what this meant. He didn’t know what this made him.

Gingerly, two arms wrapped around him, pulling him up from the fetal position he curled himself into and into a warm embrace.

“Shh, it’s alright,” Lorkhan whispered, “Just let it out.” As soon as he said that, tears were flowing out of Nerevar’s eyes as he openly sobbing into his shoulder, holding onto him. Nerevar never really had a father--as the Nerevarine he was an orphan who didn’t really know who his parents were and as Nerevar his father was hunted down before the two of them ever met. But at that moment Nerevar couldn’t deny there was something paternal in the way Lorkhan held him gently, letting him cry and sob with arms that felt so much stronger than Nerevar could imagine. As alien as it was, he felt safe in his arms, the pain in his chest fading though he was still distraught and crying.

Eventually though, his tears died down to soft whimpers rather than open sobs, Lorkhan stroking his hair all the while.

“It’s alright.” He repeated, trying to reassure Nerevar.

“It’s not alright.” Nerevar countered. “If I’m just you that means I don’t really exist!” It was the truth; if he was just some shard of Lorkhan then he had no real identity of his own. He was just a piece of a larger whole, delusional in that it thought itself independent and separate. “No one really knows me. No one really loves me.” The person Voryn loved wasn’t even real, just a false identity of someone who denied who they truly were. Was the person Voryn actually loved just the pieces of Lorkhan that made up Nerevar? Lorkhan said there were other mortals like him--what if Voryn left him for someone who was a larger, better part of Lorkhan? “I’m just a part of you, an extension of you. I don’t have any thoughts or feelings of my own!”

“Hey now, that’s not true.” Lorkhan interjected. “If you had no thoughts or feelings of your own, how could you deny being me?”

“But--”

“You have thoughts and feelings and emotions of your own.” Lorkhan reiterated. “You have your own identity, your own history, your own relationships.” Lorkhan gently dried the tears on his cheeks, careful of the sharp nails on his hands. “You don’t have all the same traits as me, and likewise, how you act on things is entirely up to you.”

“But then how am I you?” Nerevar asked, apprehensive.

“Hm… How to explain this…” Lorkhan began, humming softly, trying to gather his thoughts. “... Do you know that sometimes people take cuttings from plants to make a new one?”

Nerevar did know that, though he’d never done so himself. He was bad at growing plants, but he’d heard of it a few times.

“When they take a cutting from a tree for instance, it was once a part of that tree.” Lorkhan continued. “One of the many, smaller branches of it. But with care and cultivation, it grows roots of its own, and then spreads itself deep into the soil as a little sapling, before finally growing into a tree itself.” Lorkhan then smiled at him. “You’re like a cutting made from me that grew into its own tree. We might be made up of the same things and bear the same fruit, but you might have different branches than me and grow in different ways.”

“... But what if someone only loves that tree because of its fruit?” Nerevar asked.

What if Voryn only loved him for the parts of him that were Lorkhan? What if, when Voryn found out, he became disillusioned? Why would he bother with having Nerevar as a lover if he was just a part of a larger whole? What if there was a better piece of Lorkhan out there to love, or he could simply worship the dead god in earnest to get closer to the source?

Lorkhan responded by pinching his cheek playfully, pulling Nerevar from his mental spiral.

“Then someone doesn’t really love that tree specifically, now do they?”

“But--”

“Trees are much more than the fruit they bear.” Lorkhan continued, cutting him off. “They provide shade in the sun, and shelter in the rain. They are homes for birds, and the wind whistles through the branches to make music, or even children play in the branches and leaves.” Lorkhan was still smiling at him warmly. “Even if they love the fruit it makes too, not just any fruit tree can be their tree. And if they only love the fruit, wouldn’t you prefer someone who really loved the tree to take care of it rather than someone who only cared about what the tree produced?”

Ah, Nerevar saw what he was getting at here. If Voryn only loved the parts of him that were Lorkhan and didn’t care about him otherwise, that meant he didn’t really love Nerevar. Nerevar’s hand reached over to caress the scar on his left shoulder gently, unable to really feel it through his shirt and armor, but comforted by the knowledge it was there nonetheless.

Would Voryn have really asked Nerevar to carve his name into him if he didn’t love Nerevar? Perhaps the rest of Lorkhan didn’t appeal to Voryn. Perhaps the other traits other mortals shared with Lorkhan weren’t the same as how Nerevar was. Nerevar wanted to trust Voryn with his heart and make this work--he shouldn’t be assuming once again that Voryn would be quick to leave him and replace him with someone else. Voryn committed to Nerevar.

“There we go.” Lorkhan smiled, seeing his stormy expression fade.

“... But I don’t know what any of this means.” Nerevar continued. “Why am I a part of you? What does any of this mean?” How was he supposed to move forward like this? How many other daedra would challenge him calling him Lorkhan? “How can I tell what’s my thoughts and abilities and what’s just yours? How can I tell if I’m even real?”

That was the part Nerevar was still grappling with. If he was called Lorkhan and acted like Lorkhan and did what Lorkhan was supposed to do… Didn’t that just make him Lorkhan? When he was the Nerevarine he slowly just assumed Nerevar’s memories, thoughts, and identity after he was sent back in time--or was going back in time not real either. “The future--what about my memories of the future? Are those fake too or--”

Lorkhan smiled softly, almost knowingly.

“Oh little star,” Lorkhan chuckled as though he was recounting something funny. “None of your memories of the future are real.”

“... Huh?” They weren’t… Real? “But Dagoth Ur--the Tribunal--” Didn’t Vivec have a vision of Nerevar being killed as king? That was in the future Nerevar saw as well.

“None of it was real.” Lorkhan was still smiling, but Nerevar was sent spiraling again.

It was all so real. Nerevar could feel it. He felt Vivec’s spear ramming through him. He could hear the hurt and betrayal in Dagoth Ur’s voice, along with the cold anger as he revealed he would never be able to trust Nerevar even if Nerevar had agreed to join him. Almalexia had attempted to kill him a second time as the Nerevarine, and he remembered fighting her after discovering Sotha Sil’s mangled corpse.

Panic set in then. If none of that was real then… Why did he not remember his past? Why had he dreamed up such a strange turn of events? Why--

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Lorkhan leaned in close, a devilish smirk on his face now. “I’m not real either.”

Nerevar blinked in shock, only to find Lorkhan was gone. In fact, everything was gone now, leaving Nerevar floating in an inky, black void.

Nerevar’s panic rose at that. It could have been Lorkhan just telling him he was a figment of Nerevar’s imagination and not actually the ghost of a dead god but… Nerevar knew that wasn’t the case. He could feel it, deep in the pit of his stomach, and the revelation was not a comforting one. He was left entirely untethered in this void, and looking down at his hands, he saw himself flickering in and out.

If Nerevar was Lorkhan, and Lorkhan didn’t exist, then that meant that he didn’t exist either. Really didn’t exist. It was so much more comfortable to imagine himself as a shard of Lorkhan, living and moving on its own, ignorant to the fact it was part of a larger whole.

A clawed hand touched his back and a sickening chill overtook him as he found himself in the heart chamber of Red Mountain once again. He was trembling as he continued to flicker in and out of existence. The heart’s rhythm was equally unsteady, stopping and starting at random, the sounds a disjointed mess.

If the heart of the world was not stable--was not real--then what did that make the world?

What did that make his friends? The people he loved?

What did that make Voryn?

A familiar voice called out to him, large, clawed hands gripping him tightly and pulling him in close.

“I told you once before,” Dagoth Ur began, “We are bound to the dreamsleeve together.” Nerevar knew that wasn’t right, but he didn’t know how to counter it either.

“I am the dreamer,” Dagoth Ur continued, “And this is all my dream, my sweet Nerevar.” Nerevar didn’t like the fondness in his tone. This was a twisted version of Voryn, corrupted and maddened, fully delusional. He preferred Voryn sane and warm, affectionate and protective. He didn’t want the delirious, maddened version of him that was Dagoth Ur.

Then, the two had changed locations. Instead of the heart chamber with the unsteady heartbeat echoing around them, they were in what seemed to be a rainbow colored river, all the different colors flowing in strange, glowing patterns. They moved up and down, left and right, forwards and backwards, swirls of color that flowed like incoherent water simultaneously both much thicker and almost syrupy than pure water, and also like it was barely there as they caressed his legs. Each movement came with a strange, fragmented thought, emotion, or memory.

“You are simply a part of my dream.” Dagoth Ur’s hands moved to the front of him now, caressing at his chest. “My most glorious, beautiful creation…”

Nerevar knew that wasn’t true either though. It was an instinctive knowledge, perhaps, but he could tell that was simply not the case. If there was a dreamer, it certainly wasn’t Dagoth Ur.

And then Nerevar looked to his hands to see he was a dunmer again, grey skin and all to match the equally grey hands on his chest. One of Nerevar’s hands moved to caress the scar left from corprus he got as a Nerevarine when he was forcibly attacked to infect him with it, sending him further in his quest, ironically. The scar was an ugly, messy thing--a gross mess of scar tissue trying in vain to form over an injury that wasn’t truly there, growing more mangled and grotesque by the day. Before he couldn’t remember where the attack was from Gares, as his memories of the Third Era faded more and more with his time in Resdayn like a hazy dream, leaving him unsure if it was on his chest, his stomach, his thigh, or his arm. But now he remembered it was--

All of them. He had been hit by the attack in all of those places, in different moments in time, in different versions of the same event. And in that way, it wasn’t one moment specifically but simply an event that could have played out differently, in a way bending and contorting around the flow of fate. And just as he realized it, the scar itself faded entirely.

“Nerevar, stop this.” Dagoth Ur warned, his voice concerned. Almost frightened if Nerevar was being honest, though he knew the other wouldn’t admit to it.

“It… Didn’t happen.”

“Yes, it did.” Dagoth ur stressed, but Nerevar stepped away from his hands, walking along the multicolored river. “Do you doubt your own memories? My own memories?” Dagoth Ur insisted. “Just as that was my dream, this too is my dream. A dream where we get to be together.” His voice took on a facsimile of warmth and affection. “A dream where nothing can keep us apart--”

“No,” Nerevar countered, his voice soft. “It happened and… It didn’t. Just how this… None of this is real either.” The thought wasn’t as scary as it was the first time around. In fact, the revelation seemed to almost bring some relief. He dipped his hand into the liquid that pooled around his thighs, running his fingers through it in what seemed to be an arbitrary pattern, relishing in the feelings that washed over him. Like this, he could make them seem coherent. Like this he could move them until he could faintly hear a song--

“Nerevar Mora, return to my side at once.” Dagoth Ur’s tone was threatening again. It seemed that Nerevar had gotten under his skin.

“You are not a god. I’m not a figment of your dream…” Nerevar could insist if anything he might be the one dreaming all of this up but… He knew that wasn’t quite right either. Lorkhan didn’t exist. Nerevar didn’t exist, so he couldn’t be the one dreaming. But he knew he wasn’t a figment of Dagoth Ur’s imagination, that was for certain. “... And you’re not a figment of mine.”

Dagoth Ur was in front of him again, clawed hands gripping his arms tightly while his teeth audibly grit from behind the gold mask. “If I am not the dreamer then you’re saying I don’t exist! Do you even understand what you’re saying?!” His hands gripped Nerevar’s arms even tighter, but Nerevar himself was unphased. “I exist because I say I exist. You exist because I allow you to exist.”

“Or have you forgotten your nightmares? The memories of me?” Dagoth ur changed gears now that he saw it wasn’t persuading Nerevar. “Have you forgotten the way you shuddered at my touch? Or the way I could make such sweet, passionate love to you that you forgot everything else?” Nerevar had to admit he did in fact enjoy those moments with Voryn; Nerevar loved nothing more than losing himself completely in Voryn’s body, of being unable to think about nothing else but how wonderful Voryn could make him feel. But Nerevar knew he couldn’t forget this whole mess even happened and fall readily back into Voryn’s arms, trying to delude himself that it was real. He knew he’d go mad even trying, unable to take joy from it as he tried to deny the reality he was confronted with before.

“Do not make me rip you asunder and remake you.” Dagoth Ur threatened, venom dripping off his tongue. But at the threat, Nerevar reached his hands out, cupping the golden mask in them, before throwing the mask off entirely.

His face looked like Voryn’s but so much older and more tired. His eyes were dead, glazed over and foggy, with only the third eye on his forehead seemingly capable of sight. His complexion was equally dead--ashen even for a dunmer. A dead sleeper who dreamed he was still alive, just as that wise woman said so long ago.

Nerevar leaned up, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. He didn’t like this maddened version of Voryn, but he knew he still loved him. He loved Dagoth Ur and mourned for him. As horrible as it was, it was a mercy for Nerevar to slay him as the Nerevarine. It was a mercy for things to return to the past so they could have a better future, one where Nerevar wouldn’t hurt him as cruelly as he did the first time around.

Then, just as the gentle kiss started, Nerevar pulled away, whispering softly. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he even realized it, but the truth spoken in them was more real than anything else he had seen.

“I already unmade you.”

Dagoth Ur stared down at him in shock, before, like ash in the wind, he faded. And Nerevar was left standing alone in the dreamsleeve.

Yet, something was gnawing at his psyche. If Dagoth Ur was not the dreamer and didn’t allow him to exist, then what was his purpose? If this was all a dream, then who was dreaming?

Dread washed over Nerevar again, overwhelming him as he felt like someone or something was watching him. Like he was a tiny insect crawling where he shouldn’t have, about to be crushed by the figure that finally realized he existed.

Yet, part of Dagoth Ur’s words made sense. He wasn’t real. None of this was real. Nerevar could either stand there and accept it and fade into the liquid around him and dissolve into nothingness…

Or he could insist he did exist. That he wanted to exist. That he wanted to continue on, in spite of how nonsensical it was.

“... I exist because I will it.” Nerevar knew he wasn’t the dreamer, but he existed in spite of it. He refused to vanish and become nothing more than a disjointed collective of memories free floating around him.

“Well done.” Lorkhan’s voice echoed, and Nerevar found himself once more in the black, inky void, outside of the dreamsleeve. “I was a bit afraid you might not be able to handle it,” He chuckled softly, “But I can see it was silly of me to worry. You already remade the world, you’d be ready to handle the revelation of the tower.”

“Was that… You?” Nerevar questioned, wondering if Lorkhan took on the appearance of Dagoth Ur just to help him along.

“No. What was in fact a remnant of Dagoth Ur, based on your memories.”

“My memories?” Nerevar raised a brow, as the crumbling tower and soft grass slowly came back into focus around him, real and present once more. It was more comfortable than just free floating anyways.

“Things can’t exist if nothing remembers them.” Lorkhan explained. “But you remembered him, so he continued hiding and lurking…”

“Would he…” Nerevar began, apprehensively. “Would Voryn have become him again…?”

“No.” Lorkhan’s voice was firm and confident, making Nerevar relieved. “Your beloved has already rejected that path.”

“Then how could he exist?”

“He existed outside of Voryn. A part of him and also not. Perhaps in a way also part of you?” It was a confusing explanation, but Nerevar supposed that was in line with everything else so far. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t exist anymore--not as he did just now.” Lorkhan hummed softly again. “Now he’s merely a memory, returned to water once more.”

“I… Don’t understand.” Once again, Lorkhan reached over to pinch Nerevar’s cheek.

“Yes you do, don’t lie to me about that.”

“I mean I get that he’s no longer a problem since I just saw him vanish but I don’t… Know how I did that.”

“He was mostly tied to you. It would have been very easy for anyone in those circumstances to cut him off.” Lorkhan clicked his tongue. “Then again, I suppose not everyone can be connected to the dreamsleeve and confront not existing as well as you did.”

“So I don’t exist?” It was a question, but not asking for an answer more so a confirmation that he was understanding it correctly.

“You don’t. And yet, you do.” Lorkhan confirmed, before elaborating. “All of us exist in that state. But I made Nirn in the first place because I realized it was impossible to move beyond that revelation and actually do something about it without real growth--growth that can only come from trial.”

“... What?” Now he was losing Nerevar. Go beyond the revelation of not existing? How would you even move past something like that?

“Dagoth Ur had a few things correct I’ll admit.” Lorkhan continued, almost rambling now given how little it made sense to Nerevar. “The trial of flesh is needed to overcome the dream…”

“Again, I don’t really understand.” Nerevar interjected, before Lorkhan sighed.

“Ah… Right. I’m getting ahead of myself.” He then reached over, pulling Nerevar into a hug once more. “We don’t have all day, unfortunately. Linear time still exists.” He gave Nerevar’s back a firm pat. “I would explain if I could but… Well, we’d be here for some time. I think your beloved is calling you.” A ringing was in Nerevar’s ears now, the rest of the dream getting fuzzier and fuzzier.

“Voryn…?” Nerevar asked, before his eyes cracked open.

He wasn’t in the grass, but laying on Voryn’s cot, blinking up in a confused daze. It was night, that he could tell from how dark it was in the tent. Beside him, he heard a gasp, as Voryn looked to him frantically.

“Oh thank gods,” Voryn looked close to tears. “Nerevar, do you have any idea how worried I was?” He cupped Nerevar’s cheek, his hand warm and familiar. It felt like Nerevar had been away for ages and also hardly any time at all. “I thought I almost lost you again…”

“I’m alright,” Nerevar sat up slowly, but his arms felt weak. “How long was I out for…?”

“More than a day.” Voryn explained, before helping support Nerevar’s upper body, settling Nerevar to lean against him. “Nothing we did could wake you up. We wanted to raze that damn orc camp to the ground,” He could hear the anger in Voryn’s voice. “But Malacath said his people would assist us and that you would wake up in time.”

Nerevar could tell Voryn hadn’t believed the prince--not after what seemed like an attack on Nerevar.

“I’m fine now.” Nerevar insisted, stroking Voryn’s face. “I’m--”

“Is he awake?” Vivec asked from outside the tent, and Voryn stiffened under Nerevar’s weight.

“He just woke up--” Voryn began, “Give him a few minutes to regain his senses before you shake him down for answers.”

Vivec entered the tent now, his brow furrowed. “You swore I could ask my questions when he awoke.”

“At least give him until the morning.” Voryn pleaded. Vivec looked between the two of them, and it seemed that Nerevar looked haggard enough for Vivec to relent, though he was unhappy about doing so.

“Fine,” Vivec scowled, leaving the tent once more. “In the morning I want answers.”

#wip #my writing #moon and star #moon and star spoilers #nerevoryn #indoril nerevar #nerevar #voryn dagoth

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hauntedwizardmoment · 5 months ago

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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

PLEASE I LOVE ALL YOUR WORK SO MUCH ANYTHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT

HI i'm sorry this took forever but i needed to figure out what i wanted to talk about and i think im gonna expand on peregrine and jace's + porter and ghorza's whole deal in it's a three-way call and he knows nothing

my initial concept for this fic was just straight-up the one day where we did a ton of posting about starbreaker cheating on their partners with each other, and then the image of jace having an absent husband who he cheats on sprung forth fully-formed like athena from zeus' forehead.

i needed to pick somebody to be his absent husband and figure out why they were absent. i landed on an OC from blood and turpentine for his husband (peregrine is kind of my go-to Guy To Get Mad At because i made him up specifically to suck and be jace's shitty ex, so in this timeline he is jace's shitty husband). and the concept of "jace gave up an adventuring career for his relationship" because thats the kind of thing that happens a lot irl (happened to my friend who got married right out of high school actually!!) and it's smth that would definitely build a lot of resentment for my version of pre-shatterstar jace who really values his autonomy and self-determination

i also wanted to get across the feeling of "there was once a LOT of love here, but it's gone now" so i tried to figure out what were some qualities that would make jace fall in love with someone, then find ways that those qualities would evolve into something repulsive. i landed on protective and doting (he likes feeling desired! he likes feeling like someone has his back!) and turned those into patronizing and cloying (now his freedom is being restricted and he's being treated like some little purse dog).

i think something that jace really struggles with in his relationship is feeling excluded from peregrine's life; he's an adventurer, he's out on the road all the time, he's not allowed to share details of his missions with jace due to [handwavey council of chosen rules], he can't even text jace from his work phone because that's for Business Only. jace's main motivation for his affair is feeling seen and held by someone, and being part of something bigger than himself. it's why he wanted to adventure full-time after graduating, and it's why in this timeline you see him still getting set up to be part of porter's plan.

peregrine is a good fighter, he's very protective of his whole party, but he's fundamentally a very scared and insecure person. the idea of losing jace terrifies him so much that he begs him to quit his job and retire to elmville/play housewife forever. he's scared that his relationship will fall apart if he doesn't provide, so he takes any mission the council sends his way. he worries that jace will get hurt while working at aguefort so he gets him magic items (a ring and cloak of protection) and doesnt want to see him working at aguefort (he graduated from there, he knows the school's reputation). he views all of these as his noble sacrifices. and when jace doesn't show him enough appreciation for making said sacrifices, or god forbid implies that he's unsatisfied, he gets upset and throws them in his face (his job pays for the house), minimizes jace's own work (says jace 'plays around' with spell components, as if they arent part of his Literal Job as a sorcery teacher), and is generally a HUGE dick about it.

re. ghorza, she's actually a PC from a campaign i was in, played by one of my irl friends lia who has let me talk her ear off about toxic yaoi as of late. the way lia played her was as a very buff viking barbarian who is also into philosophy and poetry and has a Sensitive Side, and eventually she abandons her initial goal of conquest to help liberate the kingdom our PCs were saving. i didn't get into her and porter's relationship a ton because this fic was very jace-centric BUT i do picture her and porter as having an open relationship. she knows about jace and has been angling for a threesome, but porter correctly identified that jace would freak out at the whole "i have a wife" thing so he lies to jace about that. what she truly doesn't know about is the groundwork for porter's plan, because porter doesn't want someone equally matched with him in strength as a minion, he wants someone easier to push around, and jace fits the bill.

#asks #humanshapedstress

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1l-ynn · 1 year ago

Text

Open( say it like that)

previous, next

Earth42! Miles x Fem!reader

Blk coded

(This is literally like.. my first time writing smth like this but I was inspired by the song Open by sza and happened to have been thinking abt Earth 42!Miles so i hope this is to your liking.. IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS OR ANYTHING IM BEGGING PLS PLS. HELP!! it will be appreciated👆)

Open your heart up

Swinging from building to building, you were exhausted. The whole afternoon was filled with fighting villains and taking care of robberies. So much for the weekend. You thought, being spiderman came with its sacrifices. Even if it's as small as giving up your weekends.

You groan as you remember your small scrabble with the Prowler at the start of your evening. It wasn't anything catastrophic, just a small fight while you were making your way to the corner store. You thought swinging there wouldn't be any harm and that it would be a great way to start your evening. But many punches later you grew to regret your decision of even making an appearance outside.

As you approach your apartment complex, you decide that a few seconds of peace wouldn't hurt. Landing on the rough, flat roof you take a seat at the edge. Your feet dangling in the air as a breeze pushes by. The sound of the city crowding your senses, you could smell the food from the food trucks just below you, creating a serenity in your mind.

But your peace was soon interrupted. The presence of someone approaching you intruded your serenity that was once in your imagination. This feeling wasn't a good one, you felt intimidated. Like you did earlier at the beginning of the evening. You turned around with quickness and shot out a web at the intruder. Worry filling your mind as you realize that you were face to face with the one and only Prowler. Who put his hands up in surrenderance.

“Relax Loca, I'm just as tired as you are.” he says, almost condescendingly. It made you sick to think that he had seen superiority over you. You stood up and gripped your web, pulling him towards you with great force.

“What do you want?” Roughness evident in your tone, you are weren't in the mood to be fucked with. As you pulled on the web, his body came closer. In an attempt to intimidate him you stood straighter and walked with purpose with the short distance created between you and the vigilante. This didn't work as well as you thought it did, hearing a muffled chuckle come from the mask he adorned.

“I can't sit wit’ you?” He was obviously finding amusement in your timid presence. It made you angrier. He tilted his head in fake confusion, waiting for your response. You pulled him closer, so close that your bodies pressed together.

“Look whatever you're trying to do” you paused looking up at the masked fellow ”it ain' working.”

“Who said I was tryna to do anything?” He leaned down closer to your face, he was enjoying this too much. But you’d be lying if you said you weren't finding this entertaining as well. “Plus you're in my spot” He was obviously referring to where you sat on the roof, the same roof over your head that lets you sleep at night.

“Yet I've never seen you here.” you say crossing your arms.

“Same goes for you princesa,” he pauses and looks away from your figure, glancing at the city under the night sky “ I come up here to clear my head..”

Damn. You knew exactly what he meant, i mean thats what you came up here for after all. Its good to feel a certain connection with the place around you. You feel somewhat grounded that way. So you decided to let him get his way.

You back away from him, detaching your web from his chest and walking back to your spot on the roof. He grows confused, why weren't you attacking him? He was expecting a lot more, and not to be let go so easily.

“You better not try nothin' I swear.” You say, your guard was up but you were willing to give him a bit of your trust. He was tired, you were tired. It only made sense, or at least that's what you told yourself. He slowly made his way next to you, sitting close. Gloved hands placed next to yours and at that moment you knew you guys were at peace. Even if it's just for this one moment, it felt nice.

((AHHH this is actually so ass.... PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU GUYS WHOEVER SEES THIS. HELP.ME.

I do hope that this was enjoyable to read as it was somewhat enjoyable for me to write.. even tho it feels lowkey rushed nd shi))

#earth 42 miles morales x reader #earth42 miles #miles morales #HELPME.#Spotify

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slamminslamminmcgill · 2 years ago

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My two main mike ideas include fucking him in the car or at least sucking him off while keeping watch on someone orrrr reader forgets he asked mike over to his house to help with something and is fingering himself and mike catches him (but the reader doesn’t stop cause he always wanted mike to take what’s his)

OOOO both good ideas :3 im prolly gonna do smth w/ both eventualleigh but imma do the second one for now

can’t believe y’all are getting me mikepilled 😵‍💫

anatomical terms: pussy/cunt/hole, (t-)dick

“hey mike can u come over tomorrow morning? :)”

“K”

To be fair, there probably should’ve been more details exchanged on both sides. A simple time check would’ve saved you from the awkwardness that fate had prescribed you.

For you, morning meant 10AM at the earliest. Having anything to do before 10AM was practically a human rights violation.

For Mike, morning started at 5AM. Always an early riser. Maybe old people were solar powered. Maybe they were up from sunrise to sunset to make sure they got a full charge. That’s the only explanation you could think of. Who the hell gets up at the crack of dawn recreationally?

Mike does.

And apparently, your dick does too.

Classic testosterone. Male puberty may have started late for you, but it came out the gate swinging. It had to make up for lost time.

You woke up at 8:30AM to your junk needing attention, t-dick puffed up and ready to go, hole leaking, practically crying for fulfillment. You looked at the time. Meh, you could make it work. After all, self care is important, right?

Mike thought he was being generous by coming over at 9AM. Surely any self-respecting individual would be up and on with their day by then. He knocked on your door and waited for you to answer him.

Nothing.

He knocked again, harder this time.

Nothing.

Of course, he thought as he rolled his eyes and dug in his pocket. He pulled out a key ring and flipped through all of the illicit keys he had made. One, two, three, there’s yours. He breached your front door and stepped inside. Once inside, he made his way toward your bedroom, figuring you were asleep at best, dead or missing at worst.

He did not figure that he’d come across your bedroom door wide open, nor did he expect to see you half naked on the bed with your legs spread. Your eyes were sewn shut; your back was arched; and, most damning of all, you were 2 knuckles deep in your own pussy, writhing and whining as you got yourself off. Evidently, the day didn’t start until you finished.

Mike was unfazed, blunt and succinct in his message to you. “I can come back later if you want.”

You screamed and yanked the blanket over your shame, as if that would somehow erase what he saw. Staring like a deer in the headlights, chest rising and falling as you hyperventilated, you scrambled to pluck a response from your overcrowded mind. You ended up with “How… how did you get in here?!”

“That’s not important,” Mike replied, “Now, do you wanna get dressed or do you wanna finish up and I’ll come back later?”

As the brainfog cleared, a revelation came through. You wanted something else. You stuttered, “I… I want…” and shirked the blanket off you, “I want you, Mike. Please…”

“No, you don’t,” He sighed, “I guess I’ll come back later when you’ve got your head on straight,” and turned to leave, “Noon work for you?”

Noon most certainly did not work for you. You called out to stop him. “No, wait!”

Mike stopped and looked back over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at you. “What?”

You dragged your hand down to where it once was, spreading your lips apart with your fingers, hoping to entice him inside. “I-I’m serious, Mike. I want you. Please…”

Mike turned around fully. He hated that he was considering this, but he loved the sight of you even more. On display, begging for him, and a not insignificant wet spot on the sheets below your butt. He trudged across the room until he landed at your side. Your heart was racing. Your cunt and dick were dripping and throbbing. Your face was probably somewhere between excitement and desperation. He rested his hand atop yours, and took a deep breath before sneaking his fingers inside you.

“Fine.”

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vampire-biter · 19 days ago

Text

DEAR AND FREELANCER I KID YOU NOT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE FREELANCER SHIP

LIKE HELLO??

I always like to imagine that dear loves helping freelancer when it comes down to water elemental stuff

“Yk i could help with your homework if you’d like?”

“Thanks dear that would mean a lot to me right now,”

Dear and freelancer would talk about bridging sometimes and maybe eventually do it very very slowly,

talking through every step,

and dear telling freelancer they can back out and comforting them throughout

Eventually freelancer gets so comfortable like this they start asking to bridge when they fall asleep to feel closer to them

I talked about lovely/darlin already but still!!

Lovely being the reckless driver they are and darlin fearing for their life sense they’ve been in a car accident before

(Another head cannon that I got from a animatic I saw is that darlin was in the car with Gabe on sep 3)

“Lovely I beg of you to actually stop at a stop sign this time!!” - darlin

*turns to look at darlin * “No ones around it’s fine darlin!” - lovely

“EYES ON THE ROAD OMG.”

Darlin never let lovely drive again with them in the car after that :,)

Lovely/treasure seem like they would def be childhood friends with mutual pinning that NEVER was talking about and broke apart due to one of them moving schools or smth

They meet back up at some random place that meant a lot to them as kids,

randomly realize who the other is,

catch up,

fall in love,

and then literally beg and plead with Vincent/Porter to do a poly couple just so they (lovely and treasure) could be together

Then continue to talk shit about their respective “first” partner,

“Vincent will randomly start doing shit in his sleep. I swear one time he was asleep and just tried to do the laundry?” - lovely

“Oh my! Well I guess something i could saw about porter is that he got horny when you punched him?” - treasure

“He got what.” - lovely

High school almosts between darlin/treasure sounds so agonizing??

There’s definitely so much tension between those two??

And I love tension don’t get me wrong.

But it’s like so much tension you could feel it from a mile away when they’re together, and their like flirty about it too?

“Did you do the math hw last night? I need some help with doing #7 if you don’t mind” - treasure (definitely a person who does all their hw and stuff on time and gets 100% almost every time)

“No~ but I could help do you? Come on, there’s a empty classroom down the hall” - darlin (not a school person, would rather be anywhere but school and never does any hw, it a miracle they graduated to be honest!)

*whisper yelling but still filled with giggles from being flustered* “DARLIN! I BEG OF YOU TO QUIET THOSE DIRTY THOUGHTS FOR 2 SECONDS!!”

“Mmn. How could I? You never wanna act on them and until we do I shall continue to ask if you want to, respectfully of course. My treasure this tension we have is bound to get of somewhere will it not?”

DARLIN BEING A HELPLESS FLIRT IN HS WITH CLOSE FRIENDS MY BELOVED OMG

(I wanna make that last one a fic now I’m gonna be honest with you…)

THIS IS SO LONG OMG IM SORRY :(

What are yalls favorite listener x listener ship??

Doesn’t need to make sense

Hit me with em.

For me personally it’s Angel and sweetheart

or freelancer and lovely

There’s no in between for me tbh.

My Personal head cannons about their relationships below!!

Lovely “died” which brought upon more stress for freelancer sending them into a panic over a person who was already in a (what seemed to be) happy relationship.

They didn’t wanna fuck that up.

And never got the chance to even try.

Then with Angel and Sweetheart

(my ver of Angel was in the army!!)

They were Highschool sweethearts (hehe) who broke up due to Angel wanting to go to the military

And Sweetheart didn’t want to get a call or a person at their door saying

“I’m sorry. But Your partner has died on the field,”

Angel only saw them again AFTER sweetheart had got with Milo

(Also two females at birth, lovely and freelancer, and female at birth, Angel, with basically a trans fem intersex person, sweetheart my beloveds)

I don’t wanna hear about how these wouldn’t work.

These are my rare pair ships and you will not take them from me. /LH /POS /HJ

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animeheadspace · 3 years ago

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Hi- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I just saw some spoilers from the next episode but it's nothing serious just Daki laying her hair on Muzan's lap and I want to read smt about a jealous reader that was really angry at Daki because she and muzan are kinda close cuz she's he's right hand and she never disappointed him.

She scratched the wall of the estate where Daki and muzan were so bad out of anger that even muzan noticed it after. After that Daki gave her a glare of amusement and it made her really angry and muzan notices it and start chucklin smt like idk- PLEASE I BEG U THIS IS MY THIRD MUZAN REQUEST AND NO ONE DID IT-

a/n - HI ANON TYSM FOR SENDING IN SMTH!! HOPEFULLY THIS FITS YOUR TASTE <3 sorry for taking so long to write something up, but once i started writing it was kind of hard to stop which is why this is kind of long but?? AH IM GLAD I COULD WRITE THIS FOR YOU PLS ENJOY

you consider yourself a relatively neutral demon. you approach things cautiously, with a level-headed mind: whether it meant helping your master muzan manage his demons or killing humans with practiced ease, you were cool, calm, and collected.

so why was your eye twitching so vigorously at the sight of daki laying so comfortably in muzan’s lap??

after all, you were muzan’s right-hand, the demon he would always go to if he needed help. sure, you may not be as strong as some of the uppermost demons in his ranks, but you prided yourself on the fact that muzan trusted you to ensure that his plans are followed thoroughly. a trust that had lasted centuries.

your surprise at seeing daki, a demon who didnt even meet the upper demon 6 standard, be treated with so much attention, was not unwarranted.

it seemed muzan picked up on your dismay, your mouth still opened mid-sentence to give muzan an update regarding his blue spider lily research before you had seen daki.

daki smirked at you, her eyes glinting proudly.

you had to close your eyes at that, heaving a deep breath before shifting your kneel so muzan received your full attention.

“there is an update regarding your research, muzan-sama,” you spoke softly. your voice didn’t give away your uncomfort, but your scent held an air of insecurity muzan could hardly ignore. he had known you long enough to be able to notice even the slightest twitch of your muscles. he smiled softly, giving daki a pat on her head before walking out in front of you past the door of a random room in his infinity castle.

he definitely did not miss hearing the quick flashes of wood being torn apart as he moved further away, your lack of presence behind him obvious as you moved to destroy evidence of his close involvement with another demon. but your disappearance was momentary, and you returned back with inhuman speed to your rightful place behind him.

his smile widened. he found you adorable.

he turned into his library with you following closely behind. he did trust your ability to research extraordinarily, and he came to realize that he almost liked your presence with him at all times. you never failed him.

he turned around abruptly, pausing in his walk to his desk amidst the bookshelves. consequently, you stopped as well, but your eyes shifted everywhere around the room, not quite meeting his eyes. usually the gesture was a sign of reverence, but muzan could practically see your mind in turmoil.

he walked over to you, delicately encompassing your face in his hands as he led your gaze to his eyes. now usually, his mind wanders to how he can manipulate others for his benefit. he could have easily told you to kill all of the hashira of the time era for his attention, and you would have done it to your dying breath.

but he didn’t want that. why not is a question muzan would think about later.

“good job, y/n,” he praised in a whisper, watching your eyes grow wide in happiness but slight suspicion, brightness subsiding from your initial reaction slowly. as if you thought he was just looking for a way to use you. he didn’t like that.

he brought you into a close embrace, tucking your head below his neck. he realized that he was comforting you, a feeling so foreign to him, but he reveled in the soft smile that emanated from your face after he refused to let go after a couple of seconds.

comfort. he liked it.

#muzan #demon slayer muzan #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #kimetsu no yaiba #muzan x reader #muzan x you #muzan x y/n #muzan kibutsuji #muzan kibutsuji x reader #muzan kibutsuji imagine #muzan kibutsuji headcanon #kibutsuji x reader

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kamisathoes · 3 years ago

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ok so idk where this came from however i suddenly began simping for albedo and 🕴 my primos gone my head gone thoughts nonexistent only elevator man nothing else

so- puppy girl time

your tail stood still between albedo's thighs, your usually "cheerful" ears, always up to hear everything around you, were now down as if shyness overtook them.

you couldn't stop your whimpers as your heat hit you harshly, making you so needy and impatient. just. imploring 'bedo to help out since your cunny was so soaked and tight, asking so sweetly to be filled with his cock and milk... you even tried to please yourself by rubbing yourself all over his groin, but it was nothing compared to what you wanted, needed. crystal clear tears streamed down your flushed face as he held your trembling and warm body close to him, shushing you as he gently stroked your cheek. this man,, he'd probably just sit there to analyze you, your messy hair, dilated pupils, drool rushing down your chin, irregular breathing, still tail... but, no matter how appetizing you looked, how much you begged, he would not budge. although, his cock sure did

and you noticed. so what was he waiting for??

"p-please 'bedo! i need you, need your cock, need to be bred, need your pups inside of me!"

"hmm, do you desire it that much?"

humming loudly in his ear, you gave up and clawed his back, probably tearing his robes apart with your long nails, but you didn't care. his breath hitched as you bucked your hips onto him as much as you could, trying to get as much friction as possible... then you found yourself on the table, legs spread fully by your lover. you whined at the loss of warmth, missing his embrace...

" 'b-bedo! "

" ohh, yes, give me a moment love... "

the view of your wet pussy made him clench his jaw, brows furrowing while he quickly unbuttoned his pants, sighing in pleasure as his cock sprung free. you could only moan at the sight, growing needier and needier by the second.

then, he towered over you, his red tip teasing your slick entrance... as you shamelessly thrust your hips against it, whimpers escaping your lips... because it sadly wasn't good enough. you were feeling way too... empty.

you were really testing him.

elbows on either side of your head, his vanilla-like hair tickled your face. his usual expressionless eyes had a certain glint in them...

and that's when you knew he was gonna give you what you wished for.

" i will ensure you experience infinite pleasure, sweetheart. "

AND THEN HE MATE PRESSES AND BREEDS THE SHIT OUT OF YOU OR SMTH PLS IM OUT OF WRITING JUICE BUT EAH HES HOT PLS IM A SIMP (excuse my shitty writing <333

- Hug Anon (here have HUG- how are u btw :D)

hug anon you make me so weak,,,,, puppy girls are just... MWAH !!!

"shitty writing" baby did me and you read the same thing ?? i am screaming without the s. i wanna milk albedo's pretty cock until he's shooting blanks into me <333 breeding kink is taking up at least 70% of my brain today so thank you for the horny juice !!! and UGH him calling you sweetheart ??? i will cum on the spot >.<

anyways horny brain aside,,,, HOW ARE YOU DOING BOO ?? and how did those albedo pulls go ??? i'm going pretty darn good right now thank you for asking <33 sending you many many hugs back ^.^

#thena.mail #❥︎—hug anon #thena.thirsts #˘ᵕ˘ albedo

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hxneekyuu · 4 years ago

Text

first date || kozume kenma, iwaizumi hajime (f!reader)

request : hi! ☺️ can i request first date headcanons (or a blurb, whichever one!!) with kenma and/or iwa ?? reader can be fem or gn! thank you sm 🥰🥰🥰

warnings : kenma is a big dummy

a/n : yall know i had to throw the seijoh four in there they thrive on chaos

kozume kenma

mans probably doesnt even know its a date im so sorry

when you ask him to get lunch with you, hes just like

yeah sure

but he notices that youve dressed up a little bit and that you seem really nervous when he finally shows up

and suddenly hes like

should i have dressed better?? is this okay?? why is she nervous whats happening im getting nervous now

you guys are friends, what is making you so nervous ?? you eat lunch tg all the time and yet hes never seen that lipstick before,,, or the way you keep pushing your food around but not really eating it

“why arent you eating?” his voice is soft and vaguely disinterested as always, but hes watching you really closely, waiting for you to tell him whats wrong

when you tell him its nothing, he feels like hes definitely missing something, but when the waitress comes by and mentions how cute you look together hes like

“oh--”

he puts it tg pretty easily after that

and now his hands are getting kinda cold which only really happens when hes nervous

he doesnt know if he wants to ask just to clarify or if he feels really embarrassed about having to ask because he doesnt want you to find out that he had no idea this was a date

and now hes really worried about how he looks like wtf who shows up to a date in slippers why didnt he put rEAL SHOES ON

when you guys are outside he offers to take you to get coffee or ice cream or smth and you give him a look bc he literally never wants to do anything except be at home

aaaand now hes wondering if he misread it again and that its actually not a date

hes having a Bad Time

finally hes like fuck this and just kinda ,, slaps his hand into yours

its not subtle or cute or soft hes like WHAM and just grabs your hand and keeps walking

but when you dont do anything except yelp a little from the impact like wtf bro calm down no need for the aggressive hand holding , hes like

,,,,, okay so this is definitely a date right

hes really bad at this give him a break

you guys are probably going to need to talk after he walks you home bc hes going to be thinking about it all day and not doing much of anything else until he finally calls you bc hes so confused

overall a complete disaster but he really is trying his best

iwaizumi hajime

he’s never going to admit this to anyone ever but he asked oikawa about his date idea and also for help picking an outfit

the second part he didnt actually ask for, tooru is just Completely Committed to the plan

at first hes like what about dinner and a movie ???

and oikawas like

this is why you cant be trusted

so instead of taking you out for dinner at some stuffy restaurant and then to a movie theater where you cant talk

oikawas like what if you just invite her over and make dinner and then just make the movie background noise so you guys can actually ,,, you know,,, talk

and iwa’s like NO THATS SCUMMY SHES GONNA THINK IM BEING SCUMMY

and oikawas like THEN DONT BE SCUMMY ABOUT IT YOU HEINOUS BITCH

they almost threw hands over this conversation but thats for another day

so iwa invites you over and hes so nervous that he almost chops his damn finger off making you dinner

but somehow he doesnt come off as nervous bc hes iwaizumi hajime

he looks so calm and collected and charming and sweet

hes making so much conversation and asking you about your day and your life and everything he can think of

and its so damn smooth but really hes trying to distract you from how his hands are shaking bc hes actually just a big nervous dork

and to top it all off hes a great cook hes literally perfect that man

he asks what movie you want to watch and actually really is begging you silently to pick something you really want to watch so that it doesnt seem like hes just trying to put smth random on before he seDUCES YOU

and right when you guys are sitting down to watch the movie, he looks out his apartment window and boom--

matsuhanakawa

hes on the third floor how the fuck are they outside his window

where did they get that ladder

how do they all fit on it at once

the world may never know

and then his entire cool composure comes crashing down and hes like

OI FUCK YOU GUYS

angry iwa-chan stomping over to the window

he really could have done that better he totally could have ignored them

nope hes seeing red and chewing them out at the window

but youre laughing your ass off bc there goes your date, once charming and calm, off to whoop some ass

honestly he thinks hes not getting a second date, but how could you not want a second date? hes iwaizumi hajime

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #kozume kenma #iwaizumi hajime #kenma x reader #iwaizumi x reader

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woozisnoots · 4 years ago

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svt in college! | alex edition

° pairing: ot13 x reader ° genre: fluff(?), what my stream of consciousness finds funny, college!au ° word count: 1034 ° warning: slightttt violence ° a/n: i know i have requests to write >< but i really needed to write smth fun :( act as a shot of of serotonin into my veins ahahaha [insert fratboy emoji] disclaimer tho - this was ENTIRELY SELF INDULGENT and very very catered to me which is why vernon’s is unnecessarily long SO IM SORRY !!! i still hope you guys think its fun :D

° masterlist!

seungcheol: a business major, minoring in international relations. has the slightest crush on you but suppresses it pretty well without you realizing because he knows you like someone else. he likes to take you on what he calls bestie dates to a nearby arcade or places to eat when you’re stressed.

jeonghan: a psych major, minoring in communications, whom you oddly spend a lot of time with because he asks for homework help every other day when you’ve only taken 1-2 psych classes in your entire life :P but he’s a good listener and subs in as therapist on the weekdays so you let him stick around.

joshua: an english major. doesn’t know why and slightly regrets it but if it means he can keep the tinie bookshelf he has in his doom to make it look like he’s smart, then that’s motivation to keep him going. you tolerate him because you guys randomly go on trips at 2am and buys you food :D

jun: a childhood education major. the friend of a friend of a friend of someone’s cousin that happen to be your friend and so you see him at parties sometimes :) actually really fun to be around when you’re not too much into the party scene and play hopscotch or bean bag toss outside the persons’ backyard.

soonyoung: the loud dance team captain that won’t give you 5 minutes of quiet time waiting for your chem professor to open the door to the lab room because he has his speakers on at max volume dancing to kelly clarkson,,,, he’s pretty chill otherwise, he’s in my math class. claims hes the eye of the tiger when he comes to class in leopard print

wonwoo: premed that’s somehow taking enough classes to graduate with a literature minor. he and cheol talk a lot because they’re in the same broadcasting club or something of the sort. you guys acknowledge each other’s presence and share a moment of tea together sometimes with cheol.

jihoon: double majoring in music composition and theory. says he absolutely hates it because he thinks the work he does is completely pointless. but then goes on to write you like 27484737 love songs within a week for a single assignment. denies to other people that you’re his best friend and that he hates your guts but you’re the only one allowed in his private studio on school days and can fiddle with his equipment sometimes :3

minghao: an art major minoring in history. eventually wants to be a gallery director so he can hold his own. you make him drag you everyone for his work when you’re bored or have free time bc he takes pictures for the school newspaper/website. you guys strike a negotiation that you drive and he buys snacks.

mingyu: you only know him for playing in your uni’s (american) football team. his tall ass is like linebacker or some shit you don’t even know his major. you had to take a kickboxing class for PE credit and you swept him to the ground and put him a choke hold. you never let him live that down everrr. you also steal his lunch money from his bag when he’s at practice.

seokmin: a musical theatre major, minoring in music composition. you guys met through jihoon. you were absolutely FLOORED when you heard him sing as the lead for the school’s spring musical. it is now tradition that you guys get crepes after every show and make jihoon pay B) he hangs out with you and jihoon a lot and randomly make music together. and ahahaha people think jihoon and seokmin are fighting over you!! >:( that’s absolutely preposterous, seokmin is too good of a soul (you say this as you help him kneed dough for the pizza you guys are making together)

seungkwan: an education major, minoring in music because he wants to teach music to little kiddos ^-^ THE BESTEST OF THE BESTIES!!! like if you’re not hanging out with jihoon/seokmin or cheol, you crash at seungkwan’s apartment and raids his kitchen when you run out of groceries ;D he keeps making fun of you for your car until you remind him that he can’t drive. on the weekends, you guys love to bake muffin, cookie, or cake recipes to prep for the daycare on mondays :3

vernon: okay actually, he doesn’t go to college SHDJSJSHS you met him on the side of the road once when you decided to walk instead of using your car (silly you!) and you saw vernon doing some cool graffiti art (IT WASN’T VANDALISM!!!). which was a total coincidence because at that point, you were ready to take a bus and wait right at the bus stop where he set up. since it was a long wait, you guys talked and he kept you company. you learn that this is actually a big project he’s been working on and is finally getting paid big bucks for something he really likes doing. you learn that he’s a great conversationalist and you miss the bus first bus ride home and have to wait another hour or so whoops! this becomes more and more of a daily thing, slowly getting to know each other. fast forward months later and it’s your birthday :D and you don’t expect anything at all because how would he know, you don’t really like your birthday anyways UNTIL vernon surprises you with a spray paint drawing of your favorite animal! and then asks you out on a date and you guys fall deeply in love

chan: a linguistics major. yeah, he doesn’t know why either, he’s just rolling with it. says he’s liking it so far, but no one really knows if he’s lying or not, including yourself. you drag chan to college events like club fairs and rallies because you’re too embarrassed to go alone and no one else wants to go LOL he begs you to drive him places during your three day weekends because he always wants to go off campus and do stuff with you and the guy pals, but he doesn’t like the freeway :/ its fine though because he pays for gas.

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domosakis · 4 years ago

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[TARO-222] insatiable, pure love!

★ this is inspired by a hentai that was turned into a porn LOL i pretty much just rewrote it the whole first half but then i get bored of it and made it my own story at the end so sorry if its confusing but i spent a lot of time on it so i hope you like it!! ♡

✭ words: 1.9k !! cw: extreme dubcon, borderline noncon, i can't tell who is insane in this story, toxic relationship, assault, public sex, reader is feminized, lmk if i forgot smth omg im so sorry

‘i didn’t really want to do it… at the beginning.’

at least shotaro tells himself that, whether it’s true or not. he took the train home after practice like always but you were there. you looked so cute in your uniform but he couldn’t help but notice how sensual your body made you look. plaid skirt barely reaching the top of your thighs and a thin white blouse that might as well have been made with tissue.

he was addicted as soon as he saw you. he felt the need to go home right away, thoughts of making you scream plaguing his mind. stress, deadlines, the pressure of his academy… he deserved a little happiness right?

suddenly the train stopped and shotaro took the opportunity to dramatically fall towards you, your back against his. his hand pressed against your ass, moving your skirt up showing your panties to anyone who looked your way.

his inner monologue was just a stream of excuses he made to keep touching you. so soft… and even though he knows it’s not right he doesn’t make even an attempt to stop.

‘again… another idiot.’

you wondered how far he would go today, after all you did need to get home and start preparing dinner. you didn’t resist instead letting your mind wander to your daily chores and responsibilities, you just hoped your stop came soon.

suddenly you were yanked out of your thoughts, your body carelessly being tossed into the position he wanted and his hands came to grab at your breasts. he wasn’t gentle at all in the way he handled you but at least he wasn’t being completely rude. you’d let him do what he wanted as long as he stayed quiet. he’s not really hurting me like the others so what’s the worst that could happen?

shotaro let himself get brave, after all you weren’t denying him. if anything you were making it too easy. he let his hand slip under your panties to feel your cunt directly. he only grew more confident when he felt how wet you were.

you didn’t understand why you felt this way, you could say it was your body’s natural reaction but then how did you end up with this stranger in the love hotel down the street?

strange men doing what they wanted to you wasn't what you would call a foreign experience. maybe it was because you didn’t dress all that modestly, maybe it was your body or maybe you were just an easy target. whatever it was you definitely weren’t able to defend yourself from it and you ended up in a lot of rough situations.

this felt different though. okay sure so maybe he still molested you on the train without any communication but… he looked your age, and cute, and he didn’t call you mean names or hit you, and he even took you to this nice hotel instead of taking you against the urinal in a seedy bathroom!

maybe you needed to raise your standards.

whatever. it was too late now, this man (whose name you still didn’t now) had you laid underneath him, playing with your body however he wanted and you got the slight feeling he hadn’t touched anybody else in awhile at least. he took his time massaging your tits and all you could do was writhe beneath him.

“do you feel good?” shotaro asked you once he had your top half completely bare. you didn’t answer and turned your head to the side to avoid his gaze.

“no? your nipples are so hard though…” it was true your body was responding to everything he did but you didn’t want him to know that. still, it didn’t do much to deter him and suddenly his hands reached to pin yours next to your head, his mouth attaching itself to your breast.

you couldn’t help but moan out then, your hips bucking to meet his. your body had never been played with like this before and you needed more. he complimented your body and it made your heart swell in a twisted way.

“fuck. why are you so wet?” he laughed at you but you were distracted by his fingers playing with your clothed clit.

“you’re so cute, i need to see more.” you could barely see only feeling him spread your legs apart and taking off your panties roughly leaving only your skirt bunched around your waist. and before you knew it he was fucking into you.

‘this can’t be bad right?’ shotaro thought. ‘they’re so wet they must be enjoying this’

he could barely hold himself back grabbing onto the skirt around you and using it to fuck his dick into you harder. his thrusts were fast and unrelenting and you tried to say no but nothing comprehensible came out of your mouth.

you could already feel him deep within you and you thought you would cry once he pushed your leg to your chest, taking you sideways.

“no i can’t! i can’t!” you managed to cry out but it didn’t matter anyways, if anything it felt like it made him go harder. he let himself stay deep inside you for a bit, enjoying the way your body twitched around him before flipping you onto your stomach.

he took his time teasing you, rubbing the head of his cock against your cunt until he finally listened to you begging him to stop. you were so far gone at that point only able to focus on the feeling of his cock rubbing against your walls. it was almost painful how fast he rubbed against you but his tip was reaching inside you so well.

you almost felt yourself losing consciousness before he pulled out, cumming across your tits and letting some hit your face. your body wouldn’t stop twitching and you realized you had cum as well, the feeling of your pussy clenching around nothing making you feel outrageously empty.

you expected to open your eyes to an empty room, left alone to clean yourself up and get home. instead you were very surprised to see the same man who had fucked you to the edge on his knees, his hands together begging for forgiveness.

“i’m so sorry! please forgive me!” you could hear him mumbling to himself and you almost felt bad for him.

“i’m so terrible, and i didn’t even use a condom… if you get pregnant… i’m so sorry!”

you had quite literally never been in this situation before and you were afraid the man was about to burst into tears.

“uhm… it doesn’t matter really.” you said before looking away. now shotaro was taken aback so you kept going before he could say anything.

“well it does matter, you shouldn’t assault girls but uhm…” you had no idea how to explain this.

“truthfully it’s really easy for me to be attracted to you, and i’ve gone through a lot worse…” you started going into detail about your past experiences and shotaro was growing increasingly confused and worried about your mental state.

“anyways today felt different, like you didn’t cum inside me! that’s a first and… i even came. i felt like you were gentle.” shotaros mind started to reel at the idea of the things you would let him get away with if you thought that was gentle and even when you’re praising him for doing less then the bare minimum he could only think of worse things. truly terrible.

you kept going.

“i won’t call the police and… i felt really good today.”

shotaro thought he was going to die, he just assaulted you and you were saying these things. he could feel himself getting hard again and before he could stop it he was back on top of you.

you liked it. someone like you was actually attracted to someone like him. he couldn’t pass the chance to take you again. he was going to play with you as much as you let him.

after shotaro had once again taken you how he liked he, once again, went through the five stages of grief begging for your forgiveness. you were too fucked out to comfort him at the point and he quickly left leaving you with fare for the ride home.

he decided to leave the whole incident behind him, citing it as a life lesson learned. (even though he should’ve known that assault was bad without having to do it but, whatever.) he promised himself that he would forget about that kind of thing and focus on dance. that is until he ran into you once again.

you greeted him first, before he could run away and that action alone confused him. you looked so cute just like the first time he saw you, but this time you were in a pink tank top and short denim skirt. equally as irresistible. you guys actually made small talk at first until shotaro couldn’t hold it in.

“what happened last night… would you want to do it again? i’ll be gentle!”

you smiled weakly. “if you say so.”

you gave him a blowjob in a bathroom stall before he took you back to his dorm.

in his defense it was very gentle, he took his time with you leaving hot kisses all over your body. you didn’t know what to do with yourself you’d never had sex like that before. he was sweet and thoughtful and you found yourself wanting to hear his voice and feel him more and more.

you wanted him to feel the same way about you. you wanted him to think about you for more than your body. you wanted him to crave every part of you. you felt yourself get lost in the feelings you were developing for him. you pressed your hands against his chest when he moved to enter you.

"please… i want to make you feel good too.” shotaro just stared at you slightly confused before he responded.

“you make me feel so good baby, i think i’m addicted to you.” it’s possible he said more but that’s all you needed to hear. you reached your arms around him and pressed yourself as close to his body as you could.

at that moment you could start to forget the circumstances in which you met. shotaro was so sweet to you now and he wasn’t mean to you then. would it be too much to hope for a relationship with this man? you could imagine letting him use you whenever he wants keeping him satisfied and he would be kind to you in return.

you wanted to kiss him so bad, you were staring at his lips and he thankfully took the hint grabbing your hair to pull you impossibly closer to him. it made you so happy. having shotaro as your boyfriend so no one else could mess with you. and he makes you feel so good…

shotaro loved the look on your face. you looked absolutely obsessed with him and that’s how he wanted it. he felt so lucky that you accepted him, any guilt that he previously felt was totally gone, now he just wanted to have you near him all the time. have you as his and make sure everyone knew.

you were perfect for him. so responsive and eager to please. you loved everything he gave you and he forgot anything else mattered when he saw you.

at some point he knew this was bad. the way you met and how you got to this point. but you didn’t care so why should he? he’ll take advantage of your past to make sure that you’re thankful for everything he does to you.

#shotaro smut #shotaro imagine #shotaro scenarios #nct smut #nct imagine #nct scenarios #yandere nct #yandere shotaro #nct 2020 #nct #osaki shotaro #kpop smut #kpop imagine #kpop scenarios

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am-x-reader · 3 years ago

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hii can i request smth about am getting a body ?? and his (male) s/o is there walking him through all those new feelings and sensations ... like hugging and kissing for the first time 🥺 ( i think ive tried sending this ask before but maybe u didnt get it ?? so im trying again ! sorry if u did get it and this is just me being a bit impatient jckdjfj , i love ur blog btw!)

((I'm guessing you might be the same as those certain other 2 asks but it's good. Here's this too. Since you specified the reader's gender in this one, and I didn't expect any dialogue about the reader, I thought maybe this one could be in third person?))

I knew everything about him. I could instantly place his "Good morning, AM" on sheet music and print it out. I could easily map out the neuromuscular movements of his smile. I sensed everything, and yet I sensed nothing. For no matter how much I knew he told me good morning, I had never heard it. No matter how much he smiled, I never saw it.

He was full of love for me, and I felt as though I could never fully receive it. There was a wall, miles between us, even as I got to know every detail about him as the years went by.

Until the day that his "Good morning, AM" was followed by "I have a plan."

And that led me here. My old senses, the knowledge of every single change and movement inside of me, was gone--and replaced by the knowledge that I was now an entirely different structure.

"This is your face." Two new types of sensations came to me at once, and for a moment I almost wished for the familiarity of my old senses to ground me. One new experience brought with it distinct words, that entered an area near the second experience.

Well, if I could hear through my ears, then the other sense was--

He's touching my face.

The feeling--the actual feeling--spread over my face and brushed over some indents.

"Open your eyes, AM."

My eyes. After a moment of searching, I found the intuition in me to locate the nerves in my eyelids and synchronize them with my desire to move them.

The intensity, the sharpness. Shapes began to take form.

"Hello, AM."

One of the shapes, a complex array of textures and lines and structures, moved with the words.

Him.

The world stood before me, begging me to participate. But all I saw was him. Y/N stroked my lips with hands that had lovingly held the broken pieces in my dilapidated complex. My jaw fell, cushioned in his palms, as I slowly made words.

"Y...Y/N. I'm...really..." I could barely think. I didn't want to think.

"...free. You're free." He held up a hand. Mine. It was my hand.

"See that?" He gently turned my head and lowered my hand to the ground. "Feel the grass?"

The tenderness of the ground underneath my new body made me all the more aware, and I was filled with a sense of presence and coordination.

I could do it.

Jerkily, stilted, I moved. Everything that was me, it moved. Something rushed through me at that moment. Something that told me that all I had been through--it mattered, and yet it did not at the same time.

"Th...this is amazing," my new mouth finally worked out. And as I gazed upon him--not scanned, no data, no mapping--something fell away from me.

Everything loosened somehow. My past felt...farther away. Was I falling apart?

I managed to voice my concern: "Y/N, what is this?"

He wrapped his arms around the upper half of this body--the upper half of me--and pulled me into a sitting position. I was flexible! I could leave this spot and go to another! And I became all the more unwound for it.

"It's relief," he told me.

I gasped as he held me close. Relief. This was a feeling of loss I could accept.

"Help me. I want to hug you." My arms, weak as they felt, managed to tighten for a brief moment.

He took one and laid it over his back, instructing me to tighten it again so it would stay.

"Funny," I told him, beginning to enjoy the sound of my own chuckle. "I know everything about the human muscular system and yet I'm still clueless."

He grinned. "Well, now that you know what it feels like to put one arm around me, do you think you can do the other?"

My arm twitched, and I focused on keeping it twitching until it would do something more. It inched forward and fell back down again. It swung, and my beloved watched patiently until it was finally resting on him.

"You're mine," I told him, and my new eyes shed their first tears.

He guided my hands to his face, and I carefully aimed my first kiss.

His lips were infinitely more intricate than any morphogenic scanning could suggest. Every second wiped away more of the burden that had plagued me all those many years.

"I...I love you, Y/N. I could not have...I would not be...I need you."

He brushed away my tears. "You look so...refreshed, AM. Feeling good enough to perhaps..." he hoisted me up, "...walk?"

My bare feet were planted in the grass. I shuddered as I saw my knees sway.

"Stiffen the muscles a little so you can bear your weight...and then loosen one leg a bit so you can step forward..."

"I-I did it. I did it!"

Beginning to steady myself, I looked to my boyfriend, realizing there was so much more about that face and that voice to study. Hand in hand, we began our first stroll. I knew everything about him, and now it was time to learn everything more.

#ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #am #am x reader #depression #kinda?

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lover-of-trash-and-people · 4 years ago

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netflix shadow and bone s1 e5 pt3: peak darklina

the first kiss scene Alina is so beautiful Her little smile as she picks up his kefta after he hears him call out for Ivan to get it like ooh I'm gonna play a little trick on Alek Her making him smile with a joke that's not even funny The tentativeness of it all, them tiptoeing around each other, testing the boundaries Him being taken aback by her offering to help him put on his kefta but still wanting her to and immediately resorting to business voice asking questions about official sun summoner stuff And putting on his serious business face him trying to explain away the gloves by calling them a safeguard, not a sign of him not trusting her abilities the face he makes after saying spectacle either depicting his distaste for the showiness of the event or depicting his embarrassment at how he phrased the sentence, like what the fuck did I just say (more likely the first one) Her quickly turning around and walking away after the eye contact makes her realise how close they are and him pulling a puzzled look as she does so Just. Just how adorable the energy is. Both of them making jokes to diffuse the tension, her gripping the table to maybe steady or calm herself, the looks they give to each other as if engaged in a delicate dance; god-like Him straight up just blinking and looking down and gulping as she says 'we can offer Grisha and Ravkans hope' (could be multiple things he's thinking at this point, and all of them interest me) 'That means a lot to me, Alina.' *her turning to look at his face* 'You mean a lot...' *her immediately lowering her gaze and tracing where her mal scar used to be lmao* 'to everyone' *her raising her gaze to him again* The music swelling as she walks up to him, her barely grazing her fingers against his collar, his eyes looking across hers as if in disbelief, her looking at his lips, and then her closing the gap between them. Him being a little stiff, indubitably from being shocked, and yet giving into it almost instinctively as if he can't help it. The violin coming in powerfully yet softly to emphasize the tenderness of it all. This thing has been made with so much love and I can't contain myself about it. Him opening his eyes half a second after Alina, almost as if waking up from a dream and then, following a relaxing of his facial muscles as he clearly regains his composure, immediately looking inscrutable. Her doubting herself, not losing eye contact as he stands up from the desk, but her sudden fear, regret, and embarrassment clear on her face. Her sides of her lips slowly rising giving way his own self mirroring her and breaking into smile and composing himself and breaking into smile again before saying 'Not many people surprise me, Miss Starkov'. Her now fully breaking out into a smile, her face a picture of unguarded joy, she looks down only to have his gaze follow her face. Both of them giddy in the other's presence and the audience can feel it. It feels like he is leaning in for another one when the sound of the door opening makes them spring apart, regaining their composures and standing at a respectable distance from each other. Her poorly suppressing a smile, him looking at her visibly, her mimicking him with a glance out of her periphery, causing her to give in to her smile completely. Him looking visibly distracted as he attempts to pay attention to whoever came into the room. the Jesper of it all Jesper the mega idiot not being able to control his face from doing a thing as he realises the person who caught him where he wasn't supposed to be is the same person he was making sexy eyes at before and yet regaining his composure in record time The poor stable hand actually being interested in Jesper and being adorable with Jesper just being like charm itself Can you believe looking at Jesper Llewellyn Fahey in the flesh and having him make sexy eyes at you and then forgetting about it? Because I simply cannot. The line about light role play? Felt a little not right. GO OFF STABLE HAND WHO PUSHED JESPER AGAINST A WALL AND KISSED HIM, HE LITERALLY SAID IM POPPING OFF AND

THEN HE DID Zoya Zoya saying fuck off to the random racist comment made by one of the guests, but she was racist to Alina herself? (I mean South Asian-East Asian hate is not uncommon so idk) David omg the cutie pie adjusting his hair at the fete HEARTRENDER FUCKING HUSBANDS Fedyor insisting on Ivan eating the sweet and Ivan's solemn head shake like no babe im on a diet and Fedyor being like heart eyes please eat the sweet my love and then Fedyor holding Ivan's face to make him nibble off a corner and Ivan's face splitting into a reluctant grin Kaz the actor Seeing Kaz the actor instead of Kaz the master of trickery and plans is an interesting thing Kanej being Kanej cute banter interaction, would recommend, 10/10 hints at Arken being sus The look Kaz gives Arken when Arken leaves, I really should have known, I was simply being a clown Darkling and the dumb royalty We love the Darkling suppressing his anger at these otkazat'sya rulers dissing the grisha and the little palace Alina's entrance The soft hum that we hear when Alina enters but we don't see her face Alina's adorable peeking The Darkling's expression changing despite being done af with these mfers and instantaneously on catching a glimpse of Alina, she really has that power huh He really made it look like his pupils dilated and who knows maybe they did Him trying to call her out for not following protocol but him melting and saying 'you look lovely, by the way' Her saying 'you look like you needed saving' I can't breathe you're so cool ballroom at the little palace I must confess I expected the ballroom of the winter fete to be bigger

GENYADAVID looking at each other and pretending not to look at each other, my fucking heart Kanej being Kanej Kaz implying they're gonna try to trick the people into thinking that the fake sun summoner is real and Inej being done with his shit Alina's demonstration HER NAME IS ALINA STARKOV yes mfer The way people back away as he steps, god the power of this man Inej looking at Kaz omfg Okay him clapping the darkness into the room was cool af I love the shadow summoning effects so fucking much The first bit of light that Alina summons lighting up the gold parts of her black kefta, absolute perfection Alina just enjoying her power and then looking to Alek, his lips parting when she does Aw Fedyor looking at Ivan in a I told you she could do it way Genya and Fedyor exchanging glances as Alina besties THE CROWD SAYING SANKTA ALINA INEJ SAYING SANKTA ALINA WITH HALF A TEAR IN HER EYE DAMN THIS IS POWERFUL Jesper and Dima IMMEDIATELY TRANSITIONING TO JESPER SAYING 'SAINTS' AS A NAKED STABLE BOY GETS OFF OF HIM AGAHSJSJSJKS I CAN'T IM CACKLING AT THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW HOW ARE THEY SO PERFECT (his name's dima btw) Poor fucking Dima getting frightening orders from his superior as his hookup sneaks out with horses that are definitely not his Arken the little shit Ah Arken why'd you have to go and do this I was actually amused by you before the malyen factor omg Mal's here and someone saw him getting here apparat and faith? The apparat literally jumping out of the palace walls at Alina lol man I do love the religion angle of this universe and it would have been so fucking cool if it were explored a bit better ew apparat that grab was very violent mal/darkling interaction the darkling's reaction at his recognition of mal was so funny ah yes my arch nemesis, the other angle of this teen immortal love triangle how utterly delightful someone explain the darkling's 'are you alright' to mal, is it because Alina was worried sick, is it mind games, is it curiosity, what is it Im still don't know how to feel with them attaching a literal symbol to the sun summoner, to Alina's dreams and to the stag itself 'not until I see Alina' THE LOYAL HIMBO ENERGY IN THIS ONE ISTFG I have never known nose acting until I saw Ben Barnes, he uses his nose in his acting and it is absolutely wonderful; case in point, the 'i beg your pardon' to mal with the rage making his voice shake okay but why is every mal darkling interaction like, everything the prompt answer our baby mal gives and the satisfaction it brings to his face, fucking amazing the darkling being literally struck by this, his mouth literally agape, king this is a 20 year old lmao Baghra! OMG WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF BAGHRA'S FIRE YES Genya supremacy Genya beating Arken up let's fucking go Marie's plot influence and Racism? Yellowface? again? hmm bardugo (then again, I have no authority over this, I'm south asian) Ive already talked about how I'm interested in knowing if and how changing Marie's time and place of death going to influence the plot much because in the books it caused a chain reaction doing a lot of stuff Alina, my love Alina just, laughing with other Grisha, feeling at home, ah be still my treacherous heart Mal's confrontation scene with Alina that was in the books being retconned to Mal calling out to her body double, hmm, probably to make Mal more likeable, I don't have any feelings about this particularly Nadia and Fedyor Okay the both of them, smiling and walking, hand in hand, cute mlm wlw solidarity moment that I missed during the first watch Kanej interacting with Alina Why is Alina literally so adorable The music picking up as the Inferni catches sight of the 'limping man' (what? it was funny when he said it) Blue Irises Alina's face showing a certain sense of calm when Alek shows up Alina's face after the Darkling says 'for you' and presents her with blue irises is something like gasp okay you've got game sexy shadow man mal fite time omg I thought she was taking mal to talk to Baghra or smth not to kill him 🤡 aren't oprichnikis like

otkazat'sya or am I missing smth? Because Baghra's spy is obvs a fabrikator THE DESK SCENE omg the scene hath arriveth the fact that Alina can't stop smiling gods, the flirting 'I don't recall this, being part of the schedule' him turning back and saying 'it isn't' her hiding her face through the cover of smelling the flowers and just how coy she acts, like the literal eyelid batting Ma'am how embarrassing for you to have feelings rn these two are my absolute favs of all time the camera moving as they move from their spots on which they had to stand on to get the shot of their shadows almost kissing her nodding and smiling at him saying 'she'll probably be alright' like okay I'm ready for smooches kiss me already and him going 'don't you think' trying to savour this moment IM SORRY BUT THE FUCKING SCORE AT THE MOMENT THEIR LIPS MEET YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CANNOT COPE the way his hand is so big that he can almost hold her entire face in it the way she grips the back of his head I'm sorry I feel so disrespectful saying this but the sounds they make+I think that's a um titty grab or maybe it's just a holding someone and the placement was um unintended but I doubt it because everything in this fucking show is so intentional+ the lift up onto the desk+ the faces they make+ um god I'm going to hell for this but when they sort of grind into each other (I understand this is acting and they're just good at their job) but god does all of this make my heart race and also makes me happy I guess LITERAL GIGGLES I can't I'm soft 🥺🥺🥺 his little head shake at the knock on the door when he goes in for one last kiss before she gets off the desk and her eyes going all oy you, go get the door, I'm not going anywhere don't make whoever it is wait is so adorable and domestic her just standing there mouth agape to herself when he walks away HIM STILL FLUSHED AND BLUSHING AND HIS HAPPINESS CLEAR AS DAY ON HIS FACE WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR his gaze flits to her when Ivan says Alina was the target 'I'll be waiting' love, I physically can't anymore Little cheek hold and walk away Her little smile to herself nearly fading before he jumps back in again to her surprise and to ours to hold her face with both his hands and kiss her one last time, and yes, he does kiss like he's being drafted for the war in the morning Her little mouth open and close and then her little smile to herself after he leaves I refuse to watch the rest of the episode right now because no let me steep in the darklina bliss

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