#jasper rambles

[eternally-tired-cryptid]

Shout out to the time Gray got a spell cast on him to open his heart and he became a dancing legend and also gay

[jasperflickercats]

I wanna write this eventually but, I have a Bramblestar's Storm au in which the literal storm still happens, but instead of a stupid love triangle, it's about Bramblestar facing consequences for being a DF trainee in TNP.

The Clan is still divided on the OOTS trainees, and then when it's revealed that Bramblestar was an og trainee, all hell breaks loose. ThunderClan almost splits in half. And because of the physical storm going on, it almost destroys them. The pressure is immense. Some cats want Bramblestar forgiven, some don't trust him, and some hate him, because he saw firsthand what Tigerstar was like. He knew better than almost any DF trainee just how horrible Tigerstar had been. But he still trained with him.

So ThunderClan must try to reunite under the hurricane, while Bramblestar struggles to keep everyone together when so many simply don't trust him.

[neptunic-loser]

rest in peace hawkeye pierce, you wouldve loved chappel roan

[doritopaw101]

@cheerclaw and @blimbo-buddy are giving me thoughts on fireman

Wanna write something about Firestar’s indoctrination and him realizing it. Realizing just how far he’s fallen. How he treated his old friends. Him realizing how judgmental he was towards the cats who didn’t want to join Skyclan.

Slowly building from Starclan’s failure on Tigerstar, the exile of Skyclan, the moons of taunts and sneers at him, no apologies ever.

All the taunts about him being him kittypet or weak, that never stopped even when he became leader. Him realizing it’s how fucked the clans are and the code itself.

Maybe when Mousefur calls a clan meeting about outsiders and him getting to know Daisy and her kits.

Him actually getting to talk about non-clan stuff and how his clanmates whisper about it.

When Berry was trapped in a fox trap and the patrol that did nothing but watch.

A part of him died when his collar broke and he’s realizing the horror he’s becoming. What he sought to destroy.

I could keep going. Just many thoughts on this cat.

[existentialcynic]

van and lottie as the original acolyte and prophet.

"i will give you this gift that is so vital, it might as well be a part of me that i ripped out" and "this gift is my lifeline that i protect even in death, even if your blood is still dripping from it."

van showing up and not being able to comprehend that lottie is still a prophet for other people, being thrown back to the wilderness where all she knew was "lottie matthews is my saviour."

van still has the deer bone. she takes it out for the first time in years when tai shows up. she still has it when she sees lottie again.

van seeing lottie for the first time in decades and she still looks like a dancing flame in a pitch black room; you gravitate towards it, it gives you warmth, maybe false hope, and god is it dangerous.

lottie being framed as a goddess among men, staring out at the water. lottie showing her face and immediately breaking the facade with her tear-stained cheeks and haunted eyes, like a wounded deer.

van building her own life away from everyone she knew, creating someone that has nothing to do with what happened in the wilderness. van immediately reverting back to her teenage self around her teammates, the one that follows because it's bringing her that tiny sliver of hope she craves.

van and lottie are the original acolyte and prophet no matter how far they have strayed from the people they became in the wilderness. no matter how hard they have tried to fix themselves. van is still devoted to the woman that would bleed for her, clutching her with a bloody fist.

[lesbofreakk]

shouldve known from the very beginning that im a lesbian cuz when a boy asked me out for the first time ever (when i was 9) i felt genuinely so sick and said to my mother “i said no because i had butterflies in my stomach but they felt like bees and i thought it would be a permanent feeling” (it infact wouldve been a permanent feeling because that happened with every man i dated)

when im in a nmlnm relationship tho, it always feels so natural . im not scared to touch them and hold them . im not scared to just simply be around them . and i dont get “bees in my stomach” .

i love being a lesbian . its just so natural . and im sry to my younger self for always suppress those feelings till recently .

[floatingwithlaura]

im gonna say it on here bc it’s safer than my other socials atm. i don’t think im trans (fully). i was dead sure for 9? years. i feel like i am losing a part of myself - i am ACTUALLY gaining something but idk my heart is breaking a bit.

i was on T for 2 and a half years. i was gonna get top surgery (and decided not to for diff reasons). i changed my name. the sex on my passport is M. like. i was SO SURE.

now after all this time i’ve finally been unpacking shit in therapy and also learning about autism. and … yeah. i fucked up lmao.

it is entirely on me, i chose to do all i did and i chose to get done what i did. i consented to everything and i do not regret it. i just feel like… let down. that i wasn’t offered the support i needed earlier to understand myself and how i would feel more comfortable.

i am happy w a lot of T changes! like super happy. it made me feel like my own person. but.. yeah.

i think i would consider myself agender but i dont wanna say i identify that way bc its less of an identity and more of just my general understanding of gender. i have never understood gender. probably an autism thing! but i just DONT GET IT. i dont know how it is meant to ‘feel’ or how u even know which one u fit in.

since i was a child i just couldn’t grasp gender like everyone else and i guess that’s why i transitioned bc i never felt like a real girl. but then i didnt ‘feel’ like a boy either. and then i decided to come out as nonbinary but idk. i never ‘felt’ like that either.

to make matters more complicated, my abusive ex stepdad would bully and belittle me for being afab. he made me HATE being born how i was. the csa i felt was only because of my being born this way. no wonder i wanted to get away from it all. i refused to believe he could have an impact like that when i was 16 or so and people were suggesting it. it made me feel even more out of control. all i wanted was to be in charge of my body for once. transitioning felt like getting that control back (one of the reasons im so grateful for it).

in an ideal world gender wouldn’t exist n we would all just utilise hormones and surgery to feel good in our skin much like any other affirming surgeries.

for now i will use they/she pronouns. but idc really. gender is confusing and unimportant to me. i care more for aesthetics lmao ..

i hope this makes some sense n if anyone resonates with it plz dm me :,) i feel quite alone currently. i know it’s a very odd experience but i hope someone somewhere gets it.

[jasper-likes-rocks]

what does one do if one is hypothetically really wanting to go on testosterone but too scared to admit that to anyone irl.

like. idk. for years i’ve been saying i don’t want to medically transition but now all i can think about is the possibility of going on T but like. I’m not even out to my family yet and idk its just scary. but maybe someday i’ll look in the mirror and see myself?? idk. we’ll see. advice is appreciated lol.

[jasperscringepit]

so i think this is cool; i was very nervous reaching out to you at first and like the first times we'd talk i eas very nervous and now i think we are very fast friends even like beyond newsies we have common interests and similar senses of humour and you're like FUNNY and COOL and TALENTED and that makes me very happy :) i just woke up and my brain isnt fully up yet so if this reads badly that's why but friend!! - @pigeonwit

PIDGEEEEE IM GONNA CRYYYY.

That's honestly funny because I was super nervous reaching out to you because your writing is SO FUCKING GOOD. I've been reading run boy run since the first chapter was posted hshshshs. I completely agree, I love talking to you and our humour is very similar lmao. and I LOVE getting to read all of your ideas and snippets bc you have such a way with words.

To more inevitable javid and davey based rambles!! I'm super happy to be able to call you a mutual and a friend :))

[eternally-tired-cryptid]

I am no closer to setting an ending

Anyone else know what the build up and climax of your novel is but have no clue how it's going to end or how any of the big problems are going to be solved/addressed? Cuz. Aha

[lost-onpurpose]

I'm getting Mammaw's coffee table. Her son made it for when he was in woodshop in high school. It's an absolutely beautiful wooden coffee table. I'm going to see if she still had any of her table runners to go on it so I can use it as a TV table without worrying too much about scratching it.

I'm also taking one of the funeral bouquet vases and cleaning it up (the water got a little gross because throwing the flowers out felt like the last goodbye and I put it off until like last week - about 3 weeks). I'm going to start keeping fresh flowers in it because she loved keeping flowers in her house. I'm going to put the vase on one of her doilies at the end of the coffee table.

Tomorrow will be one month after the funeral too. I still can't really believe she's gone. I keep expecting Mom to come in the living room and say it's time to go visit Mammaw. Or for her to appear in photos posted by the home she was living in last with the other 3 ladies that live there.

I thought about her in the shower this morning because it started raining and she was very superstitious about bathing during a storm. She thought you'd get electrocuted if lightning struck near the house. (Possibly a valid concern with early plumbing but not sure. I do know they were the first ones in their neighborhood to get indoor plumbing though!)

[p3nny1112121]

im going 2 ramble about my tmc prophet au :D

this au is based around Adam, Jonah, Dave and thatcher. fyi there will be oh so many spelling mistakes id like 2 apologise in advanced i am not proof reading this lawl

Adam: Adam is one of the main characters in this au. after finding out he was an alternate Gabriel decided to take advantage of Adams poor mental health and chose him as his "prophet". Adam was told his job was to find the real Mandela prophet and kill them or there Will be consequences. Adam (being soso scared agrees and makes a deal). in this time he becomes fairly close with Dave and thatcher, even working alongside eve at Mandela tech as BPS shut down. After finding out who the original prophet is Adam refuses to kill them, which leads to Gabriel basically holding him hostage in hell as a punishment. Until, Gabriel decides he had enough. he let Adam go home. but it wasn't really Adam, he killed off the rest of Adams humanity and sent back a shell of who he really was, it wasn't a hostile alternate, but it wasn't Adam. Not being able to do anything other than occasionally walk and stare. Jonah still kept him round, but the guilt of not being able to help Adam made thatcher and dave stay away.

Jonah: After dying, Jonah makes a deal with Gabriel that he would be their vessel. Jonah has no idea about Adams deal with Gabe. he then has to live on pretending that he's just another normal human in Mandela, until, Adam goes missing. from then on Gabriel seems to appear a lot more frequently, forcing Jonah to live in constant anxiety. They stop leaving the house, in fear of hurting any of his friends. Jonah decides to just tell his friends, hed stopped caring about what people thought of them. they were just tired of staying inside. Thatcher and Dave didn't care, Sarah cut off all contact. The anxiety never left, but having his friends understand helped. They never stopped trying to find the real Adam. Dave: The real prophet. Dave was revived by angel Gabriel, in hopes he would do better this time. Dave had one task and that was to find the archangels "prophet" and kill them. It didn't take long for Dave to figure out it was Adam, but he went on pretending he had no idea. lying to everyone was killing him inside, but its not like he could kill one of his best friends. Dave knew where Adam was when he mysteriously disappeared. She always knew where he'd gone, but he couldn't help. They became almost apathetic towards Adam, something inside of her stopped caring, they knew it was fucked up and wrong but a bit of him knew it was for the best. When "Adam" returned Dave refused to visit. She knew it wasn't her friend, and she didn't want to risk caring again. Thatcher: He, Sarah, Eve and mark are the only humans left in Mandela. He tried to make the best of everything, Thatcher tried so hard to fix it all but eventually gave up. He abandoned the MCPD and chose to spend more time with his friends. It wasn't a hard choice Mandela was beyond saving, but the guilt never left. Thatcher thought that becoming so close with Adam and Jonah was a horrible idea, he'd tried to hunt them down nearly every day for the past five years but, Dave thought it was a good plan so he went along with it. Thatcher and Jonah became very close, Thatch saw Jonah as his little brother. After Adam went missing, he watched Jonah change from a light hearted friendly kid to a snappy, depressed person he barely saw. He tried to fix everything, yet again but it just caused his own mental health to decline. Thatcher tried so hard to support Jonah after they told him about the deal, it wasn't exactly hard but more stressful. Seeing Jonah change back to the happy person make Thatcher himself feel better. When "Adam" returned, Thatch knew he wasn't the same. He (along with Dave) stopped seeing it. Every time Thatch saw Adam he felt his heart sink and he barely spoke. Thatcher knew his brother was dead.

Alot of this makes no sence sry just wanted 2 ramble . if you like the au ill talk more about it ^-^ lmk if i should talk abt the other chars

[thetrailofflames]

Keeping thinking about Smudge is Scourge aus

I mean it’s not like couldn’t rework the Bloodbound to make it work

Scourge could be reworked and the name could be more a title.

I’m rambling, not actually committed to it but it’s biting me.

Honestly if I do do this. It’s going to be some angsty IceSmudge.

[jasper-s-phantym]

Random story for the day

So I remember when I introduced my friend @rayisalive to my IRL friend Yang (not her real name but okay) I was making this super fucked up family tree in which Yang was my daughter and she had like 72 fathers (who are all anime men) and three brothers (all anime) and two mothers (including me, and I'm straight so imagine how she felt about that -_-)

Well anyways, for some reason I just felt it would be right to throw @rayisalive into the mix as "The person I kidnapped and kept in the attic who lives off tea and donuts" And we went back and forth about it because he wanted to be the cashier at the local corner store but I refused to let him. I told him he was just the random guy off the street that I kidnapped and kept in my attic.

I remember somehow Ruggie Bucchi got involved in the conversation and Yang kinda left me and Ray to argue. It was actually really funny. My mom was watching me the whole time and thought I actually kidnapped somebody. It was a great day all around.

Sorry about that, Ray. But you still live in the attic -_-

[neptunic-loser]

parents really will be like “why doesnt my kid clean their room” and then make fun of said kid for how awful it looks or yell at them for letting it get that bad, making the kid never want to clean again

[floatingwithlaura]

developing chronic severe pain in your early 20s is like if you saw a ghost for real, and you try to tell people, but they keep saying that you’re too young to have seen a ghost and that you don’t look like you’ve seen a ghost.

in that their arguments make no sense and will never eradicate the fact that you did actually see a ghost.

i dont look sick, and i am young, but i am in severe daily pain. i just ask you to believe me when i say it. that’s all.