#im so tired i need to go back to bed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zibanejad · 27 days ago

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alcs ✅

#new york yankees #aaron judge #giancarlo stanton #juan soto #and everyone else #im so tired i need to go back to bed

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cozylittleartblog · 3 months ago

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bug doodles so i can say i drew something

#oc #original character #alien oc #artists on tumblr #art #aliens #sketch #nyx #having a rough month creatively. and mentally. like a really really rough month. but i'm tired of saying that too #i made like three things this year i was excited about and that's it. where did the fun go. im supposed to enjoy it right #if i dont enjoy it then what is the point !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of anything !!!! i dont enjoy Anything anymore even !!!!!!!!!#why is it already august. almost september. i dont even remember most of 2023 let alone 2024.#i got no drive to draw let alone to push through a drawing when it gets challenging or doesn't turn out right. i barely drew this month #just kinda hated everything. nothing is fulfilling #IF IM NOT HAVING FUN !!! THEN WHAT IS THE POINT !!! WHAT AM I DOING IT FOR #more and more i consider taking a hiatus from art. but what the fuck else do i do with my time then. what if i never come back to it #i got a list of stuff i could draw but either i try and i dont like it or i sit there and wonder why even bother because i wont enjoy it #guys im tired. im so exhaustingly overwhelmingly depressingly fucking tired and i feel no joy in my art #or videogames. or anything.#i need to go to bed

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figofswords · 7 months ago

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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

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pink-lemonadefairy · 2 months ago

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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee #i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to #it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar #space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder #but i will surviveeeeeee #counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim #fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and #watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself #i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting #can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i #i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day #not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully #i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up #i hope everything goes well #anyways bye bye #♡ dear diary…

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phagodyke · 27 days ago

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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man #thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking #mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they #dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done #listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life #i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this #once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i #dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this #ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be #i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about #how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being #given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out #entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please #its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have #to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once #and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general #feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this #but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is #i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired #i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if #i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore #i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr #and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning #my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better #it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood #my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it #cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen #.vent #ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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TUMBLR WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARCHIVE

#I NEED THAT IM MAKING A BATSHIT INSANE THEORY POST #I NEED TO REFERENCE MY OWN STUFF CMON #its not where it usually is #i tried manually typing in the url #i tried going to someone else's archive & then switching out their name for mine #TUMBLR WHERE IS MY SHIT. MY STASH. MY STUFF.#IM GONNA START BITING PEOPLE THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS #needed to scream into my cat's side for a moment it Did Not Help #ok it did a little. but the fur now in my mouth cancels out the effect #TUMBLR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUUU #GIVE IT BACK GIVE IT BACK GIVE IT BACK #absolutely unprompted #im so tired. im so fucking tired. what if i went back to bed #i already slept until 2 but what if i went back to bed and stayed there for a week-#i just want to do One new thing #make One new theory/speculative post. can i just do that #life is a hellscape can i have this small joy? just one?#the enjoyment is leeching out of everything i do Can I Just Have This Please.#tumblr stop fucking things up for five seconds challenge-

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kaisollisto · 21 days ago

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#tko_art #hahah wrong eye shape #hers is more droopy and less awakey #wow colors suck #really hard #but i've noticed it doesn't feel like my brain is going to explode everytime I try to determine color and values #i kind of got too tired and wanted to giv eup so no tear drop #which made me sad because i did want to try that #but back hurts #gotta go to bed to fight god tomorrow/today #i love rendering skin tones #they're so much fun #lovely love #I have accidentally locked in #suddenly every single moment of time that i'm not spending to do art is unappealing and so damaging #i'm psyching myself out of doing things I know will give me instant gratification and will make me pretty happy for whattttttttt #it's kinda depressing #If i think about it too hard it's just a constant cycle of oh god this is it for the rest of my life #so no thinking it is!#blegh this seems so silly and trivial #i hope nobody reads this shit #i'd have to kill myself or something #im never gonna stop thinking about how i didnt say i loved you back #and it haunts me #and i cant stop thinking about what u said to me #and even tho u didnt say it harshly i cant stop my mind from running away from me #and theres something horribly wrong with me that i need to gouge out #i hope u never read this #i didnt want to be (x) how fucked up is that #i wish i wasnt like this i wish i didnt have to learn how to live with trauma i wish i was normal

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the-fidgety-fiddler · 2 months ago

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...

#made it back to school last night from my childhood hometown in NC #i feel so strange... i got there on thursday afternoon and came back yesterday but i feel like that weekend lasted a month #i think i am in shock still.. the area i grew up in is so utterly and completely devastated i can hardly comprehend it #not to mention the surrounding states...#and even though we were just trying to survive while i was there and it was so so scary .. it was only temporary for me #i get to go home to my cushy apartment with running water and electricity while some of my closest friends and family are wondering #if they can get enough water #and so many have lost their livelihoods or even their lives #some of them have gotten water and power back but others are still stuck. and i feel like i am still there even though im not.#its like this weird anxious guilty numbness feeling that wont go away and gets worse whenever i turn on lights or see a case of water.#i dont live there anymore but I am so emotionally tied to that area ... and i was there for the storm and saw the aftermath #but its not actually my home so i feel like... i dont know what I feel actually.#but i dont feel good #and then i feel guilty for feeling bad too!! like I dont deserve to be upset or traumatized?? maybe i should go to therapy again...#idk if any of this even makes sense... and i dont mean to be all me me me during all of this. i guess I am just tired and need to vent a bi #anyway please please pray for the people affected by the hurricane. and if you can donate that would be so so wonderful.#it seems like it will be years for the area to fully recover. if it ever even does.#if youve read this far you have my apologies for my word slop... heres a heart for you 🩷 and a caterpillar 🐛 i think i need to go to bed #i have class and rehearsal tomorrow. even though all of that just seems kind of pointless to me right now #but maybe more sleep will help...#my post

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genekies · 4 months ago

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tag vent

#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas #and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when #we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates #just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night #ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me #ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but #she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening #he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by #people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again #i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends #and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer #than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they #helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that #they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient #im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk #tag vent #vent in tags

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grubloved · 11 months ago

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look at this tshirt i found at the goodwill. who needed to make a playstation owners workshop manual themed tshirt. what is it for. sorry i need to wash the mirror

#im so tired also. i need to go back to bed #birdenest #image of birde #serving sleepy bf realness. hair go up

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sincerelyaudri · 4 months ago

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what a day

#so um I did! get the car back!#….i don’t wanna talk about it :(#i was supposed to go over to sugi’s #i hope he won’t mind me coming over late…#…i brought cookies at least?#🌺 ❝ 𝙖𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ❞ ; audri #mod note; hi im TIRED my back hurts n i just got in my house #BARE WITH ME THE BOYS WILL PEEK IN TO SAY HELLO OKAY BUT I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING SO #I NEED TO GO TO BED SOONN 😭

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ana-rends · 5 months ago

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i would rather live with ana for the rest of my life than binge like this ever again