#im not sure if i want this to be a thing or not. ideally not

[levandright]

im a very introverted person who takes a long while to get close n comfortable with people, but when im really close i turn into the weirdest, and most spontaneous person ever. i generally have a hard time trusting others due to issues from the past, and don't easily forgive ppl if they did me wrong. i tend to not take care of myself properly, and forget to eat properly. my love languages are quality time and physical touch.

‎im an aries, my ideal type is someone who can match my energy and shares the same interest, opinions and values on important things. someone who's kind and respectful to everyone but not touchy with people except close friends.

‎i love love childhood friends to lovers and trouples similar to that! im on the aromantic spectrum (demiromantic) so i need to know/been friends with the person before feelings develop. i love winter, and my fav hobbies are: reading, playing games, painting and dancing!

‎enha or dream <3 and a playlist for me! (thank you in advance pooks, hope your day is well 💜)

FINDING YOUR MATCH...

MATCH FOUND! your first match is... MARK LEE

MARK'S first impression of you was that you were the shy and quiet type, but that quickly changed after knowing you for a few months. your slow transition of shy, and introverted to loud, and spontaneous was quite the surprise if you asked him. he found it quite cute how you showed your true personality as you got to know each other more though!

MARK noticed that you seemed to hide things when you first met, but when you guys finally got together and told him how you had a hard time trusting people because of your past he's understanding about it! he makes it known that whatever you tell him will be kept between you two only.

MARK worries how you don't take yourself well, he will make you promise to him that you'll start eating better, and start treating yourself better in general. makes sure he takes the time to message you on his free time, and breaks to check up on you even in his hectic schedules!

MARK will always make sure he has time for you even with all the comebacks, and promotions on his way. when you guys are out on dates, he always has his hands holding your hands. but oftentimes, you guys will be just at home laying in bed cuddling, and basking in each other's presence while watching a show or movie.

MARK loves to go out on walks with you during winter, and drink hot chocolate together <3 cuddling in your bedroom while you rewatch classic christmas movies.

MARK loves watching you when you're painting, your focused expression being so cute to his eyes. he would love to hear you talk about your favorite books, and maybe he'll give it a read too when he's interested in the story(totally not to talk about it with you) will teach you the steps of some of their songs when you ask him too. will be so so patient when you struggle with a certain step, and would break the steps down in an easier way for you to get it <3

MATCH FOUND! your second match is... PARK JONGSEONG

JAY is such a gentleman, always always has you as one of his top priorities. when he's back home, not busy with tours, promotions, and back to back comebacks he's at your apartment cooking for the both of you. SPOILS you to heaven and back (get it? chase atlantic heaven and back? sorry i'll stop-), sometimes you worry how much money he spends on you... books you've been wanting to read, painting materials you ran out of and the list goes onnnnn.

JAY asks you to teach him how to paint! he loves watching you paint, but he loves it even more if he can join you <3 he wouldn't be as good as you, but he'd do his best to try and paint you! you always praise him for trying his best, and he LOVES it. enjoys going out on picnic dates where you can both paint!

JAY would teach you how to play the guitar if you showed interest in learning it! is a good teacher. probably gets distracted when you're focused on playing the guitar with your eyebrows furrowing, and your adorable focused look. he'll randomly kiss your cheek sometimes which breaks your focus, and turn you into a huge blushing mess once you realize what he did.

your custom playlist made by yours truly <3

✮ lev notes : first matchup for my moot honeychocos <3 hope you love this oomf, had a fun time thinking of your match hehe. i will note that i will write at least 2 matches in reqs with two or more groups but the 2nd matchup will have less content than the first one. ✮ want to find your own match? apply here! curious about other matches?

[silentmouthpiece]

I wish Jimmy wasn't a static villain, but I'm glad he wasn't. It's terrifyingly interesting to watch this man crumble underneath the weight of his mistakes. Kinda wanna put him in a blender.

Jimmy resents Curly for not being satisfied with the ideal life that he [Jimmy] could never achieve on his own. A life style that we all are told are the marks of success, but we have to break our backs and trudge through mud to even get a glimpse of and it's not even what most people want or need. Jimmy bought into the golden standard he believed Curly achieved and tried to mimic him. But Curly, a captain shaped by the greedy corporate powers that be, is only a facade of a captain. A mirage that disappears when you get closer, but Jimmy is delusional as fuck so he taped that mirage to his forehead and kept chasing it like his life depended on it.

In his eyes I guess it did.

Jimmy's relationship with Pony Express is weird as fuck, but I think it makes sense if Jimmy attaches so much importance to it because it influences his life so much. Curly, Jimmy's golden ideal, gives him a chance to escape his "rough life" with Pony Express and climb up the ladder to achieve that golden standard for himself. Pony Express is such a shitty ladder though, with its lackluster policies and disregard for their employees and working conditions but Jimmy holds on because it's his lifeline. As a a pilot he gets to take control of his life. It's not easy and it's far from ideal but it's better than home, so he makes it his home. One things that you do when you're home is get comfortable enough to shit in it.

Jimmy rapes Anya on the Tulpar. On the job for Pony Express. He did it at least 2 out of 11 months in, because Anya notes that there are eight months left on the ship to Curly and we know she knew she was pregnant by then. I don't know why he did it, I cannot fathom what compelled him to allow himself that impulse but he did it. In doing so he planted the seed for the life he wanted to achieve that would strip it from him before he even accomplishes it and it grows out of his control.

Let's rewind a bit. Curly revealing to the crew that Pony Express was going down and laying them off was essentially heaven closing the gate on Jimmy with a nice helping of spit on his face. It was bad news for everyone, but woooow Jimmy took it real personal after the talk he had with Curly about a week(?) before. About leaving Pony Express for something more fulfilling. Jimmy put two and three together to make four and accused Curly of being happy with this outcome and leaving them behind for a more satisfying life while everyone else is left with nothing to show for their struggles working for the company. We know that's not true, but Jimmy is essentially witnessing his golden ideal, who handed him this fool's gold of an opportunity to achieve the golden standard, close the very door he opened after telling Jimmy that he doesn't even like said door. Jimmy loses it and lashes out.

(... you know... that might be why Jimmy did... all that. If they got the news before he ever assaulted Anya Jimmy didnt have too much to lose that he hadnt lost already, so why not take control however he can and feel good.) Ah fuck, wait, no. Shit... fuck!

If Jimmy raped Anya because Pony Express is going down and Polle represents Anya and/or the unborn baby... im not even sure where Im going with this but if he raped Anya cuz he felt cheated of the ideal life (one that typically says you need a spouse and kids) I will put myself in the cryopod with Curly. Im not saying he did it to start a family, but as a means of taking whatever slice of cake he can before it all goes to shit.

I said all that to explore why Jimmy cracked so hard but now I feel like I unearthed something and I dont know how I feel about it. Ack!

I dont know if I need to make this clear, but I am not excusing his actions. I'm trying to get into his head. Turning him over to see what made him tick the way he did. It's fun.

Edit: i did a follow-up reblog that sums it up better

[kittygirlthing-silly]

cw: self harm or something, blood/gore, intrusive thoughts, et cetera. that stuff. idk.

these are real thoughts that im genuinely having but yk

i was gonna post this on main but i decided against it lol

(IM GENUINELY FINE I JUST GOTTA GET THESE THOUGHTS OUT OF HERE. IM NOT IN ANY DANGER WHATSOEVER. SERIOUSLY)

ok so i have a (for the record--completely dull, it does have a point though.) pocket knife that i fidget with like constantly and EVERY TIME i open it, something in here goes "oh yeah what if you plunged this into your abdomen and fucking like gutted yourself or something. at least like--idk, bled."

like

okay--

i know it'd HURTTT like indescribably and id probably fucking die and im NOTT GONNA DO IT. OBVIOUSLY. but the idea in concept feels somewhat,, appealing? idk.

like given zero consequences--say i KNOW for CERTAIN that if i die the day will restart and i'll be fine. i would. possibly. just to see what it feels like.

idk--i kinda wanna like--okay this sounds really bad. and i have TECHNICALLYY cut before but it was literally like tiny little nicks on the back of my hand and i wasnt struggling (not that much). i was like 13 or 14 and curious. i was figuring shit out.

but i kinda really wanna see my own blood???

if i could like stab into and cut and destroy myself without any permanent ramifications i would. just saying. like i would be covered in my own blood constantly. youd probably be able to see inside me.

i dont think this is a kink thing, it could be, im just--idk. yearning for the world where i can be physically damaged beyond repair and not have that affect my life in an irreversible way.

idk. this isnt fully formed

i just kinda wanna bleed

again--IM NOT GOING TO HARM MYSELF. IM FINE. IM OKAY. AM GENUINELY NOT IN ANY DANGER.

its just a curiosity that i would REALLLYYY like to explore but i also really dont feel like being at risk of actual dangerous permanent harm. again, if i could explore this safely without accidentally killing myself, i might.

idk.

[lucalicatteart]

A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

[irrealisms]

every time I see a “it’s actually totally fine and nbd to have sex you don’t enjoy and are uncomfortable with because your partner wants it and you want them to be happy, as long as you’re giving uncoerced consent!” post I lose a month off my lifespan

[artanogon]

thinking more about being trans

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[orcelito]

I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.

When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.

As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"

She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.

But she's wrong.

That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.

As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.

[radyo-kabaw]

The Philippine Revolution (with other documents of the Revolution), Apolinario Mabini, Vol. II (eng. translation of La Revolucion Filipina)

The Philippine Revolution, Apolinario Mabini (trans. Leon Ma. Guerrero)

The Court-Martial of Andres Bonifacio (trans. Paz Policarpio-Mendez)

Warfare by ‘Pulong’ Bonifacio, Aguinaldo, and the Philippine Revolution Against Spain, Glenn Anthony May

I'm currently assembling some kind of comparatives post about collective memory, trauma, and people whose death signifies a before/after in that memory, because the way that Bonifacio shows up in Mabini's writings reminds me a lot of how Crassus appears in Lucan's Pharsalia, in that: when there is a tragedy and you look back to see where it all went wrong, which mistake damned it all beyond repair, what moment signified the ultimate culmination of failure: if you look just a little bit further back from that point (the Battle of Pharsalus/the Battle of Tirad Pass), you can clearly see a body that continues to haunt the memory and has not been buried (Crassus/Bonifacio)

[crustyfloor]

Till's name meaning "power of the tribe" or "people" because he's more connected with standing firm on his individuality as not a pet to these stupid aliens but a human with choice

(I don't know what I'm talking about actually)

[berrymeter]

why..... am i still awake......... coughs like i dieying

[vamptastic]

romancing astarion has thus far made me exponentially less attracted to him. can we go back to you serving face in the background and contributing the occasional quip while i go do my hero things? i can't listen to the pickup lines i cant. they're bad they're not good they're bad. and i don't know if hes doing this on purpose as some kind of sick and twisted test of faith or he thinks he is a master casanova. also if astarion can't lift a backpack full of plate armor he sure as hell cannot lift up my entire PC. sorry.

[snekdood]

ppl who think you doing something means you think everyone else should automatically do it by default and be forced to are 1. unhinged for assuming that but 2. bc it reveals a lot about how they think things should work. like forcing people to believe something isnt bad if its something you want but if its something I believe in it is... got it.

[divinesouldariax]

have i mentioned i finished The Path We Walk here yet?

[cepheusgalaxy]

can someone give me ideas for renaming kyouka? i dont think that name fits the most and also i chose it maaany years ago now i think it could be cultural appropriation (i tried to compare it with someone naming their oc like Carlinhos and uh... yea feels a lil disrespectful if they dont know much about the name of the culture surrounding it yknow) and i think i can come up with something more meaningful than that. Something relating to the fact she chose her name in a book, and maybe also referencing her whole jester thing going on

[system-of-a-feather]

The system can clown as much as they want but, other than listening to music, my main hobbies are watching bodies of water and trees. Unless I am actively triggered and annoyed, I don't think much and when I do, it doesn't get me all that far other than finding things that I find annoying, problematic, or broken so...

Honestly and all jokes aside, my favorite hobbies are just being able to enjoy pretty things existing as they are.

It sounds boring I'm sure, but its a lot easier to do my favorite hobby to the full extent than others so I personally find little issue in it.