#im not living rn im just existing and even that is too much when i know im not gonna get anywhwre in life
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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months ago
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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toytulini · 6 months ago
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i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh
#toy txt post#i miss it i should play w her more often but it was going to be for a dnd thing that ive all but abandonded bc i feel like#i cant. do that but it sucks bc i had some cool fun concepts and characters but it was hard enough back then when i was just insecure and#knew nothing about dnd and was intimidated by the mechanics but wanted to try dming for some reason but now i just straight up dont know#what to do but i really enjoy those characters. i should just unlock the secret channelsand scrap the dnd game idea for now and keep the#concepts and im sure i could come up w something if i ever actually learned anything about that shit#anyway. my point being. im obsessed w my character i made up and you should be too cos its good shit#toxic anarchist half dragon demigod with authority issues whos an alloaro clown named Stupid Cupid.#i think her pronouns were whatever but also it/she? when i say toxic i mean it did have a bit of a Clown Cult.#Cupid i think is possibly its given name and Stupid was her clown ass addition and yes i do know of the song and yes it is on its playlist#obsessed w all the stupid overpowered characters i made in that universe. they were such good concepts. gulliver obviously. charybdis#silas (cupids father + previous (now deceased) god of chaos)#cupids mother who i dont think i had a name for yet but she was supposed to be kind of a neutral lawful (in a rules lawyering way)#moon paladin who hatefucked the god of chaos after failing to kill him which she was trying to do out of devotion to the moon#and she supposed to have what i can only describe as chainsaw powers? and she destroyed every gun in existence and killed anyone who knew#how to make them until there were no guns left bc silas kept being annoying w guns and was trying to use them on the moon. for reasons#so she really pissed him off and impressed him before she finally got to him and tried to kill him. and if she was even a minor god instead#of a 'mortal' it wouldve worked and thats the only reason he didnt die from her. and then her child. stupid cupid the clown#grew up and had issues and started a clown cult and wandered around usurping warlords and dictators before putting her aim on silas#and trying to kill him. but failing not bc she was mortal but bc he outsmarted it. but he couldbt bring himself to kill it so he had her#put to sleep for a thousand yrs until someone else killed him(he pissed off a stupid seagull druid who lured him into the path of Charybdis#who he'd ALSO pissed off and Charybdis mega killed him and then the gull druid was made the new god of chaos just to have someone fill the#roll but then they kind of suck at it? they did not want that much responsibility altho the immortality is nice. when they took over they#released cupid whos a bit of a legend but then the vibes are super weird bc cupid Definitely wants to usurp and take on the mantle of#chaos deity and gulliver idolizes her but doesnt feel great about just handing that over to it? and cupid has to grapple with not being the#one to kill silas. almost everyone she knew is dead. her mom isnt. the world has changed a lot. she finds out her cult is still going and#gets excited? but they have Changed. it disgusts her now. they are not the radical clowns she intended. the vibes are weird. she denounces#that and tries out piracy. she manages to get the moon paladin living chainsaw power?#despite not being aligned w their ideology at all. wow nepotism. then it was going to spiral into some fucking meta galactic shit and have#well. ran out of tags. anyway i miss this character i should figure out what im doing w this universe cos theres no way im dming rn 🙃
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no1ryomafan · 6 months ago
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Every time I’m with my irls the subject comes up a lot more cause they’re into more female oriented series but man while it’s given better female rep is just okay-not astounding but not feeding into the more worse tropes of women in anime-I feel really bad for Michiru.
It’s like she’s the more prominent female in getter as she’s probably had the most appearances out of any of the others but I feel she’s never been used to her fullest potential. The manga really felt like Ken didn’t know what to do with her as she just kinda existed and then was killed off, arma just uses her as a plot device, toei I can’t speak fully but I know she’s a support character however given it’s that role and the 70s it only goes so far and in other canons she’s flat out hardly acknowledged. (SVN literally just has her as a cameo)
New is probably her best version but I feel there was some missed opportunities with her as the Hein arc could’ve shown more what was going on in the present and with her but it didn’t have enough time for that, and even if she does have dynamics with the boys hers and Ryomas are very undeveloped as they hardly interacted which is both a shock and a shame as they seemed to be fun in the one ep-ep 2-where they really talked.
And also as much as I like News approach to her characterization it is a shame we hardly ever seen the more traditional version of Michiru be fleshed out, when even if “uwu nice girl” is more basic it can still work and be a good character. Like it made me more sad watching Android Kikaider and seeing Mitsuko who’s basically the same trope as Michiru-down to even LOOKING like her-being a older sister with a dead brother, absent mother and a sus scientist father and be so fleshed out, but Michiru never got that chance.
You can always say “oh maybe in another getter project” but fuck knows when that’ll happen ever man💀
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phagodyke · 11 months ago
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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coridallasmultipass · 9 months ago
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lusalemaart · 1 year ago
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🥛🍔
#really getting fucking tired of tumblr not compressing my file itself. like it ruins the quality but it wont#automatically resize my massive fucking files!? gotta do it myself?? ugh. the lack of usability across all social media platforms is just#getting so hard to stomach anymore. nothing is functional. people get their accounts removed for no logical reason. im exhausted.#and yet i still want all my shit in a collective place -_-#ugh.do you ever look at something and are like. holy shit i painted this.damn. unfortunately it doesnt happen very often but when it does?#almost always my vent boy. why. why is that?why cant i paint anything half decent except this emo boy with a mullet?whatever. also. kinda#random but.not actually random. related actually.idk if this is just me but like. sometimes there are Articles in ur living space that just#exist. like u just accept they exist even tho u have no recollection of attaining them. im talkin clothes specifically rn. like i have this#aqua-green robe with blue trim that ive had as far back as i can recall...except i cant for the life of me remember where it came from! its#almost like it spawned in my closet one day.i just. accept it.like. dont get me wrong. it cozy. its quite physically held up for decades.#i wear it all the damn time. but ive no mortal clue how it got here. ive no memory of receiving it.also ngl i had way too much fun renderin#his beard.like u cant tell bc i apply about a million overlay layers and filters respectively to my finished works. ultimately covering up#hours + hours worth of finely rendered details each drawn individually by hand. deeming my efforts useless in the end bc i cover it up but.#trust me. i took some time with that beard.beard gang beard gang.mullet beard gang.dirty smelly mullet beard man. hello yes my name is#80 y/o who is 32/33 years old. how are you today? im personally doing terrible.good talk. WHAT CAN I SAY i just think the emo grown ass man#with boatloads of physical AND emotional trauma is neat. MY HANDS LOOK LIKE THIS SO HIS DONT HAVE TO *camera pans to a fucked up little set#of discolored claws skin translucent as alll hell. no muscle.atrophied beyond repair. also a bit of dirt is caked under the brittle + ridge#unhealthy nails. cuts and scraped take approx 3 months to heal bc the nerve functioning is That Bad*.#botdbs#fk#on a final note. I drew these about a week ago. I was literally only listening to cheeseburger in paradise the whole time. Then I learned#today that Jimmy Buffett passed away yesterday. broke my heart a little. i was just drinking my coffee from my margaritaville mug too.#Rest in peace legend. I hope heaven has so many cheeseburgers.#so many cheeseburgers in literal paradise.#Makin' the best of every virtue and vice. Worth every damn bit of sacrifice. to get a. cheeseburger in paradise.
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steor-ra · 29 days ago
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AHHHH I LOVE THIS CHAP OF BATFAM!! I CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO SEE US DEAD (?) I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE
TYSM I'm glad to know some1 enjoy it like I do even though I get too lazy to write and take too long to update😂 Anyways thank you for the support so here's some fact to the FF that I'll maybe not mention to the story because I wanna end the FF soon as possible 😎☺ warning; Im lost from the topic
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Remember when I said that Dick's one of the reasons why he ignored you was because you appeared lonely and sad? It was because Dick was still mourning Jason's death at the time, and he didn't want to interact with a miserable person like him. Dick was still furious with the world and himself for taking Jason away from him. He was afraid to say Jason's name if he attempted to speak with you. That is why he maintained a distance, which remained even after Jason returned.
Some of them actually have their each reason which I'll probably or maybe mention to a chapter
Anyway, Dick became a yandere for you because he is full of regret; he has become a figurative to anyone who enters or exits the mansion. He protected everyone from drowning in the sea of darkness, but he let you drown. In a sea full of sharks, preparing to eat his baby bird.
And he is terrified for your sake, but he should not be. He knows nothing about you; if Bruce or anybody else in the family is unaware of your existence, what makes you so unique that you must take over his head and make him obsessed with you? Despite years of ignoring you, no one knows anything about you, which is exactly the objective. Dick is intrigued with learning more about someone like you, and the more he discovers, the more he falls in love (platonic). Do you get what I mean?
The obsessiveness begins with the crushing guilt of not knowing anything about someone who has been living in the manor for years, and the more Dick learns about you, the more obsessed he becomes.
Maybe Tim will also have the same fate, maybe we'll know to the next chapt 😉
Maybe.
And btw dick misses his baby bat so much, please come back he swear he'll make it up for all those neglect
If you wish to not see bruce or any of them besides him, them you won't, it'll be just you and him baby bat :)
So please, come back
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(A/n: for those who had requested some sanerios and stories, don't worry! I'm still writing them and take super duper longgggggggggg to publish, just resurring y'all because I've had the experience of not being answered when I send asks🥲 and it hurts as a introvert person to be ignored😔💔 AND OH to that person who requested about joker!Reader x batfam like a month ago(?) I'M WORKING ON IT RN just superrr slow😑🙃 ANYWAYS thank you all for the support and for the patience for my slow ass mind I appreciate it ☺💞 especially the comments 💞)
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licorice-tea · 10 months ago
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Could I Be Loved By You?
Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x reader, Roronoa Zoro x reader, Trafalgar Law x reader (separate)
Content: pure fluff<3
Word Count: 0.7k (total)
A/N: short head cannons are something i haven’t really written before, so i hope these are still good! im in class rn but i got bored so i just finished writing sanji’s lmao- please enjoy! :)
Part 2
What happens when you ask them; “Do you think we’re together in every universe?”
Vinsmoke Sanji - 0.2k
“Sanji, sweetheart-“
“Yes, love?”
You smile softly at him before continuing. “Do you think we’d be together in every universe?”
Sanji doesn't even take a moment to consider his answer- he simply blurts out; “Yes. Always.”
A giggle escapes your lips, which come to press a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t know what other answer I could have expected from you.”
“I have more to say, if you'd like to hear it of course.”
“Mhm.” You nod.
Sanji clears his throat with a flourish, as if he's about to present some grandeur speech. “You are the love of my life- and of all my lives. Without getting to love you and be loved by you, I don’t think I’d be able to go on. So, naturally, we would be together in every universe. If not; it must be a world where I don’t exist.” Then, he takes your hands in his. “My love, I’d be yours in any universe you’d have me in.”
Your gentle smile grows into a full blown grin and, naturally, your lips are drawn to his.
Roronoa Zoro - 0.2k
“Do you think we’re together in every universe, Zoro?”
He shrugs, and starts fiddling with his swords. They lean against the same wall that the two of you are sitting on, his legs crossed around the spot where they hit the floor and yours pressed up against your chest.
“Doesn’t really matter, does it? We’re together here.”
You simply hum in response. It was unreasonable to except something poetic from him in the first place.
“But I hope we are.”
At this, your ears perk up. You turn to face him with wide eyes.
“I just mean… I hope I’ve done enough to deserve you in other lifetimes.”
The corners of your lips quirk up in a smile, and your arms encircle his much larger and more solid one. “You do more than enough in this one. Don’t worry about that.”
Zoro smiles too- not only at your words, but the tickle of your breath against his neck when you speak.
He really doesn’t care to imagine other universes- not when a mere moment with you is enough to take up all the space in his mind for hours on end- but Zoro will still always indulge your whims.
Trafalgar Law - 0.3k
“Law.”
He looks up from his book at your urgent tone. “Yes?”
“Do you think we’re together in every universe?”
He scoffs. “Yeah, of course.”
You tilt your head, silently urging him to continue. He doesn’t though- and he won’t indulge your curiosity without verbal reassurance. So, you give in.
“Why? I was expecting a full thesis with supporting evidence from you, smartass.”
Law shuts his book. “Ahem; Then, I believe that we would be together in every universe because… well, we’re together now. It’s the natural order of things, so why would that change in a supposed parallel universe?”
He’s such a nerd. You want to kiss him.
But instead, you just shrug. “Things happen.”
“Then I’d like to think that our relationship is still a constant.” He finishes off the topic with that. What reason could you have for wondering if you would still love each other in other universes, anyway? The answer is so glaringly obvious- to him, at least. He continues, this time teasing you. “Now, did you have a genuine question, or are we just proposing hypotheticals tonight?” Law smirks at you, but his cheeks are growing pinker by the second. It’s a futile attempt to cover how endearing he finds the thought.
With a satisfied shake of your head, you turn on your heel. “Nope! That was all.” And when you reach the hall outside his office, you poke your head back in. “Love you!”
Law pulls his hat down further, props his book up higher, and sinks into his chair. His voice is a quiet mumble as he returns the sentiment. “Love you too.” Which, he really does; he’s just a little shy.
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slytherinshua · 9 months ago
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I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU
genre. fluff. sick fic. warnings. reader is sick (fever, headache, nausea). food mention (soup). pairing. sungchan x fem!reader. wc. 754. request. requested by anon: currently dying atm... would live for sungchan taking care of me rn :( a/n. just me continuing to write sungchan as the most boyfriend material™️ to ever exist. also i swear im gonna be finishing those event drabbles soon i'm just sidetracking skdjks help.
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“You need to eat, baby.” Sungchan coaxed, holding up a spoonful of soup for you.
“Don‘t want it.” You mumbled in response, close to tears at just the thought of eating anything. 
You had felt nauseous almost all day, accompanied with a raging headache and a rising fever. Sungchan had dropped everything to come take care of you as soon as he heard you were feeling under the weather. You appreciated that you didn’t have to be alone in your misery, but you wished that your boyfriend would yield to your suggestion of just sleeping all day instead of taking medicine and food.
“It’s good for you. Come on, Y/n, please? Don’t make me have to do the airplane.” He held the bowl a little closer to you, hoping that the smell of fresh hot soup would persuade you. It did almost the opposite.
“Eating anything right now sounds like a nightmare, Sungie. Especially this soup…” You wrinkled your nose, trying not to breathe in any more of the aroma that on a normal day would make you salivate. Being sick was the worst.
Sungchan seemed to finally give up on the soup, placing the bowl and spoon down on the bedside table and slumping back to the side of the bed. He reached out for your hand, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles. Just the small gesture made you infinitely more sleepy than you already were. You would’ve just succumbed to the tiredness if Sungchan hadn’t opened his mouth to say something.
“You have to eat later, though. Okay? I can make you something else if you really hate the soup, but your body still needs nutrients.” He frowned at how exhausted you looked, even though you had done nothing but sleep and watch shows for the past day.
“I’ll try.” You closed your eyes again, considering the conversation done for now. You weren’t sure what Sungchan would do now. He had offered to cuddle with you many times, but you had outright refused each time he brought it up. You’d feel even worse if you got him sick, so you were trying to limit your contact as much as you could. 
Plus, from prior experience, you knew Sungchan had the worst cases of man colds known to the universe. Taking care of him when he was sick was listening to him whine and complain 24/7. No matter how much you loved him— even when you had to take care of him— you would always prefer healthy Sungchan.
“You must be cold sleeping by yourself.” The words came almost as a whisper, and much closer to your ear than you anticipated. You were too tired to open your eyes again, but you could feel that Sungchan had gotten on the bed with you, laying behind you to spoon you, one hand on your waist pulling you closer to him.
“Go away, I don’t want you to catch it.” You said meekly. You and Sungchan both knew you wouldn’t fight for him to leave in your state, though.
“I want to nap with you. I’ll keep you warm.” He said softly. He shifted even closer to you so that he could plant a kiss on your shoulder. You could hear him giggle slightly and feel his warm breath hit your skin. 
It felt nice. Even though your body probably felt hot to the touch, you had been freezing under 2 blankets all day. Nothing quite kept you as warm as Sungchan. His bordering on giant height and broad shoulders served their purpose in keeping you embraced completely; like your own personal heater in boyfriend form.
“You’ll get sick…” You mumbled one last time when you felt Sungchan start to press more kisses to your skin. You knew it would accomplish nothing. He was as stubborn as you were, and if it came down to it, he had at least 10 times the physical strength that you did, especially when sick. 
“I don’t care.” He muttered, his kisses steadily trailing up towards your forehead. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple, silently willing your headache to go away. 
You were sure that there was no real way that his kisses could actually relieve the ache in your head, yet in your half-asleep state, you felt as if the pain almost completely went away the second his soft lips came in contact with your burning skin. With the comfort of Sungchan next to you, slipping away to your dreams felt easier than breathing.
↳ riize taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @seolboba,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr,, @chiiyuuvv,, @evalevaeva,, @lecheugo
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lovewithmary · 1 year ago
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(not) moving on — a max verstappen x stark!oc x charles leclerc series
★ fc: madison beer ☆ summary: evangeline "evie" stark is in love with her best friend, max verstappen, but he tries his best to keep her at arm's length. but what happens when she starts to get close to his fellow drivers in the paddock? ★ notes: for those who didn't see my announcement or I've already posted too much for you guys to see, after this chapter, chapters will be more like one-shots where time isn't really specified. and i was thinking, perhaps i could do some chapters covering what evie, charles, and max did during the year they didn't tell anyone they were dating? let me know if you guys want to read that! ★ notes: ALSO dedicating this chapter and probably future chapters to @renarots bc without them, I don't think this chapter would've existed
previous next series masterlist
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 20291829 others
eviestark: nothing like a little celebration for my world champions 💜
also, most drivers slept over at our house even if they could've just gone to their places??? f1 sleepover ig!!
tagged: charles_leclerc maxverstappen
comments
user1: IM SORRY, THIS IS A LITTLE CELEBRATION? ↳ user2: if this is little, then what the fuck does evie think a large celebration is? ↳ eviestark: max and charles gave me a budget since they didn't want me to spend "too much" on their party 🙄 ↳ user3: THIS IS A BUDGET PARTY?
user4: I wanna see the guest list for this party 😭😭😭 ↳ user5: someone leaked the guest list on twitter and it was everyone who was anyone. imagine a celebrity, and there's a 99.999999% chance they were there
sebastianvettel: thanks for the invitation! it was lovely to meet you! ↳ eviestark: it was nice to meet you seb! ↳ user6: SEB WAS THERE?
user7: guys i looked at the guest list, and MARK WEBBER WAS ALSO INVITED???
user8: "my world champions" i can just hear the highway calling me rn
user9: so many people were posting the party and the f1 champagne bottles were EVERYWHERE ↳ user10: I wanna know the budget considering each bottle is $600 each
user10: the question is: were the avengers there? ↳ tonystark: you think I'm not gonna support my sons-in-law? ↳ user11: SONS-IN-WHAT? ↳ eviestark: MAX, CHARLES, AND I ARE NOT MARRIED ↳ tonystark: yet ↳ eviestark: THIS IS HOW RUMORS ARE CREATED ↳ tonystark: you guys live together and your pets are practically your kids, but I call you married and suddenly I'm saying nonsense 🙄
user11: F1 SLEEPOVER???
user12: evie how did you not notice 10+ drivers at your house until the day after 😭😭 ↳ eviestark: it's not like I paid attention, I was too busy getting lando in our house before he accidentally slipped away ↳ user13: send lando home???? ↳ eviestark: WE TRIED. but every time max and charles tried carrying him to a cab or an uber, he kept jumping out of their arms and running back inside
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( THE MORNING AFTER ) also, ANITA is evie's ai and it means Augmented Nonpareil Intelligence Transferring Aid
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lover-of-mine · 1 month ago
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hi my love it’s gg here
it’s time for a loooooong update
so there is tension that is building up like a background buzz in the gc bc remember that on main they have to look mindful and demure bc they know the cast and crew lurks so the anger the madness the pettiness needs to stay hidden
they were so happy in ep 1 but what they really wanted was that emergency even more than them living together bc tommy helping would’ve established his role in the 118 and how new work partner for buck
this emergency was going to give them interaction with the 118 but mostly with athena and since they have already buck and bobby talking about tommy they wanted athena too
they needed him to be a hero so everyone was going to be grateful to him
first they were sure about ep2 bc they thought the tim would’ve really have him being landed inside the hole in the cockpit and then they were sure about ep3 bc if the 217 truck is there he NEEDS to he there otherwise too much waisted potential
and they are mad MAD rn bc the spent all summer so sure he would’ve been main, that ostark and lfjr would’ve promoted the show together, interviews, joint photoshoot, him being featured in the poster, him in the promo, him being the white savior of the plane emergency
and seeing this kind of deranged in their closed quarters where no one can really see im really “scared” of what they will do when tommy is going to go away
Hello baby 🩷
Wow, imagine spending months raising hell just to be wrong in all fronts. They got a random flight instructor to talk Athena through the landing, they had a literal child being her copilot, not a single mention of him along with the implication that 217 is the not harbour since it was referenced as an engine, and Hen and Chim were the first ones on the plane to help. And that along with the scene he was in to remind the audience he exists was about Eddie and he did not fit in. He's not established as part of the firefam, he's not in the field with them even though he could've easily been included. Plane emergency, no one thought about him, and they played themselves because at no point watching Athena and Jem land that plane anyone thought "oh wow this would be better if we had a real pilot". He was gonna be a main and 3 episodes in, he has less than 2 minutes of screentime in the season, he's completely irrelevant. No promo, no interviews, 2 lines and absolutely nothing of substance. I would feel bad if I wasn't getting death threats. I'm just laughing. Well done, guys, you went to war for racist tree #3 and you're losing badly.
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npdzane · 2 months ago
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Zane time again.....i swear im drawing something im just brain rotted rn
Zane OBVIOUSLY has some kind of attachment issues. The way he almost instantly clung onto Pixal seemed like less of a "love at first sight" thing and more of a "ive never known anyone like me ever and you're the one and only person ill ever relate to please like me" thing. Ykwim? This feels like a reach but i mean. Missing her after the merge sounds normal but the fact he missed her so much he started talking to himself and completely ignoring frohickeys existence?? There is no way in HELL he is mentally sound.
Come to think of it, this ties into the idea he depends on pleasing people. He was sad when the others thought he was weird in s1 because he wanted to make them happy. And if he couldn't laugh at their jokes, how was he supposed to do that?
And since the start it's been established that he wants to feel like hes part of a family, since before unlocking his true potential he (if i remember right) felt like a complete outsider when he didn't get any mail from his father.
And (even though he lost his memories so he really had no idea knowing if he should have trusted Vex or not) he INSTANTLY believes Vex after meeting him. Yes his memories were wiped, therefore he was easier to manipulate, but it's not like his personality was wiped too. He is a very easily trusting person. He trusted that even nanakhan, the man he KNOWS is going to lie to him, wouldn't deceive him somehow. He trusted Pixal to do a full body scan immediately after meeting her, despite probably knowing that it means she can copy and/or his blueprints, because why would she? Shes a nindroid too, she must be trustworthy! So of course when he's stranded in a random ice cave in the middle of nowhere, he's going to immediately trust the first person he sees. Especially when you think about how easy it is to make him attached!! Just treat him like you're his dad or something and he'll trust you with him and his friend's lives!
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aztarion · 14 days ago
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Give me some fun facts about Soledad rn or I’ll do something…dunno what yet…
im sorry i took so long getting to this T_T thank you for asking!!! this went off-road many times with me overthinking it i just couldn't save it but hopefully it's still readable, i tried to do a mix of character and meta while not repeating anything from prev asks and then it kind of morphed into a weird bio lmao
her full name is Solona ‘Sol’ ‘Soledad’ Castillo; born 1/11/72 and raised in soledad, california, until her parents moved to sierra vista, arizona. died embraced 1/11/98, so forever 26 (and chronologically a fresh 48 during the events of Night Road).
by that time in 2020 her mom and dad have both passed and her older brother is 52; he runs their dad’s mechanical repair workshop there. she absolutely still does the sad little drive-by late at night every couple of months if she's in the area on a job (surgical mask on and hood up of course). i hc that julian, while keeping an occasional spying eye on her during the 10 yr absence, also looks out for her brother and sends business his way unbeknown to her lol
she ended up 3/3 fully blood bonded to julian in the beginning while they worked for the cam, and julian was 2/3 bonded to her. his “wasn't it romantic?” comment -- yeah literally too romantic, get back to work and feed the big underground nosferatu both of you 😤 i like that headcanon personally as another reason why he would cut contact so suddenly with sol when they were in a relationship — to break the bond on both sides; he could obsess strictly over 2100X and her desires would be completely her own again
another headcanon i'm sorry... after the diablerie of aila and the intense guilt that came with the act, plus julian (her sire) abandoning her and essentially straining and forcing their bond to fade, she gains the bulimia derangement. i paired that with the siren predator type lmfao. so very um dramatic all around when shes having a bad night. she restricts to bagged blood for like ten years working as a courier and just resigns herself to being perpetually dour and unsatisfied. i like to write her easygoing and much more lively when she's with julian during their work for the local camarilla, like the reality of her new condition hasn’t really sank in because omg julian's sooo fun and woah this world is crazy but at least julian's here he's gonna change everything or something (she believed in his vision and ideals even if she didn't fully grasp the scope at that time -- like she was on board at least. bless her she had 2 intelligence). she then becomes very muted pre-night road while the bond fades and the uglier, lonelier facets of being a vampire surface; having to pull together an independent undead existence for herself, trying to control her beast while feeding exclusively on bagged blood as job payment, then a little more tearing at the seams upon arriving in tucson during night road (resentment, guilt, anger, desire, longing, hunger for something that won't have a plastic aftertaste, all rushing back and blurring together at once; not so good a grasp on those when she’s been keeping herself numb and isolated and constantly on the move for a decade). behind everything she is desperate for connection
she has a good control on her beast thanks to that (monastic? lmao) decade (and high willpower/composure/resolve), until returning to tucson and stirring aila’s presence; the strange link to lettow, julian showing up, old memories and feelings that aren't even always her own now gathering on this very carefully crafted veneer like plaque. also suddenly having a ghoul and her own assets to worry about kind of freaks her out due to her own existential uncertainty and not really trusting herself. not even really knowing who she is. and she really likes elena right off the bat; she usually puts herself in more danger as to not risk her ghoul in the exact situations one would find themselves needing a damn ghoul in — she is literally the worst kindred ever in terms of priorities and self-preservation
speaking of her beast, it's very much that of a scorpion or snake… yes blunt-object-to-the-back-of-the-head-symbolism with some of her tattoos 😭 she stays lowkey, tries not to put herself under circumstances that would provoke or overly strain it, can keep it in check relatively well due to avid practice being a loner control freak, but when it snaps it's like an inland taipan. actually one of my fav moments playing with her in night road: so she chooses to continue feeding on blood bags in tucson, but when she finally had the opportunity to indulge with her predator type and a live target in dallas, she fucking got a critical success and killed them T_T this was after impulsively kissing julian back at the apartment d'espine allows you to stay at while in the area too. real in-character off-the-rails moment rip
i mentioned before but under the composed exterior she tries to present, she intensely seeks connection to something or someone. unfortunately the way she sees it: lettow is drawn to her because of the remnants of aila lingering within her -- also she literally ate his girlfriend, she's still not ok with that even if he forgives her because of course i gave my vampire oc morals and a guilty conscience (meanwhile cobie is eating people whole like twice a day); julian has no issue using her for whatever despite his affections, and elena is literally blood bonded to her, which sol is constantly thinking about elena's feelings and best interests — its a little bit of a sore spot for past reasons...
she gets on well with dove and begrudgingly really likes carlos (they absolutely cuss eachother out in very aggressive spanish one minute but he will pass her the roach the next) and she simped so bad for invidia caul — i think sol’s type is just a combo of super intelligence + willingness to engage in unethical experimentation lmfao. she's like omg noooo i don't understand wtf you're saying and that's sexy to me also your actions make me feel bad and are very ‘end-justifies-the-kind-of-morally-bankrupt-means’ but i cannot deny if they work out the ‘end’ would be really beneficial to kine and kindred... woe… hashtag conflicted and a little turned on. but she's very drawn to people who are idealistic or driven in an inherent ‘i want to help then i'll have purpose’ way. also the thrill. omg im just psychoanalysing her at this point sorry. this bitch would easily be indoctrinated into a cult is what it all boils down to + the extreme loyalty means she'd probably end up the cult leader's right-hand arm man his everything his confidant his best friend his silly rabbit 🤦‍♀️
also a follower in the streets but more of a leader in the sheets who said that
ok random stuff... she has those brown eyes that when she was human would glare almost red-orange when caught in straight sunlight; super deep chestnut, it only comes through under certain fluorescents these nights
very thick long hair; naturally has a kink/wave to it, quickly prone to returning to that state even when straightened, esp in the southwest's heat. usually loose when in tucson or dressing up, or braided ponytail on the road/job which i am so afraid to draw
nails are sharp like mini claws unless she’s specifically clipped them after rousing. they extend obscenely when she pops protean. i need to draw her fangs but they’re feline/kittenish: weirdly long and thin like staple punches, and again when she pops protean they extend like a snakes
her character color scheme runs warm-dark: black, brown, ochre, sienna, umber, burnt orange, deep shades of red, and maybe some random olive. style-wise it’s a mixed bag of practical minimalist and sleek; street and active wear, the occasional gold-ruby-emerald or leopard print dolce & gabbana-esque gaudy accent. very feminine on top; skin tight, low cut, corseted or cropped, paired with something oversized; men’s beaten-soft leather jackets, vintage driving jackets, or blazers. pants go either way: form fitting or baggy and belted depending on whatever silhouette she wants to cut. think of like the swaggiest 70s cuban drug lord/80s gangster restyled on 90s supermodel Naomi Campbell or something. with formal-wear i really like her in off-shoulder stuff. i try to draw her tattoos more in art bc it makes her more fun to look at but as a courier she wears driving gloves and long pants/boots to cover them up, and baseball caps or large sunglasses (yes at night. loser) to keep herself mostly unidentifiable
THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT MY BLORBO!!!! :'3
prev info/asks jic: 0 , 1 , 2
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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parkour got me like yippeeee !!
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primoppang · 5 months ago
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hi. hi. here to request. a little seungmin fluff where we are kind of lonely and sad and he reminds us that he’s always there : )
HI HONEY TY FOR BEING MY FIRST EVER REQUEST <3333 ily and seungie so I got u bby ◡̈ mwah ur the best ( ˘ ³˘)♡
warning: swearing is inevitable with me sorry ¯\_(˶′◡‵˶)_/¯, fluff, like gross amounts of it, seungmin says "this is so gay but..." because he cringes at showing affection but refuses to let you forget how he feels about you fr, he's a tsundere ok? ok. he licks your face(?) , one (1) kiss, he joking threatens to fight you, and mentions of self doubt and anxiety, angst if you blink but I think it's mostly fluffy... anyways! lmk if I missed anything!!!
WC: a little under 500 :D
AN: this is the first drabble I've ever done in bullet point format so just pls lmk how it goes??? Im super nervous I hope it's at least an easy read :(
so the first time he realizes that you're feeling lonely he slaps himself internally because how DARE he make you feel that way, but he's not home rn and can't show you physically so he comes up with a Plan™️
you're literally the light of his life
so he just >:(
but not at u
he just wants to make you feel happy and loved and safe
so he starts brainstorming
but he's naturally a menace
so when you're texting with him while he's working and you're being kinda short
because yk
u just feel :(
he just sighs and texts back
"look, please don't feel sad. I know this is pretty fucking gay but I love you."
which makes u giggle
because that's YOUR seungie that YOU know and love so much
<3
BUT whenever he's able to be physically with you and he can just feel your self doubt and anxiety creeping in and trying to swallow you, he once again uses his braincell.
so he just grabs ur hand
and leads u out of ur bed and to the living room
sits u down
and starts running around ur shared apartment grabbing every blanket and pillow that exists within the space
and I mean
E V E R Y. S I N G L E. O N E.
puppy zoomies moment hehe
and don't even think about trying to question him
he'll just say "shut up and wait while I set up a big ass fort for us to cuddle in, ok?? I love you but I wanna make u SEE THAT."
which u smile at
because him telling u to shut up
but then explaining why
and then also watching him move furniture and start building the fort, you tear up with happy tears
because???
:(
he's the sweetest and u love him so much
but when he hears u sniffle
he turns on Extra Puppy Mode™️
pops out from under some blankets and tackles you into the couch and holds your face
wiping ur tears
maybe even licked one because he's a freak and wanted to get a reaction
which u just squealed at bc wtf sir
but then he realizes
oh ur crying because ur so touched by this whole thing that he's doing
!!!
"... you dummy. stop crying... we gotta get snacks and stuff for our super awesome fort yk??? and you won't be able to see if you're cryi—"
you cut him off by giving him a little kiss on his pouty lips
as a silent thank you :(
which he realizes that oops maybe he got too serious and overwhelming
but you reassured him that you're just so glad to have him as your partner and best friend in one :(
"please just remember that I do love you, and I'm always here even if that brain of yours tells you otherwise, ok? or I'll have to fight you... affectionately."
and then he proceeds to smother you in kisses and cuddles :(
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charmedreincarnation · 9 months ago
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Hi charm. Your posts have helped me lots! Im keeping consistent for once and understand the law and shifting properly. My question is that I’ve been trying to considerate my understanding and application of states and A+P. This sounds stupid but I go back and forth and try to apply them, but the debates about them don’t make sense to me. I think rn I reinstate more with states but some I do prefer to just affirm and I’m just curious on which one you “preferred” and how you applied that to shifting. Thanks 😊
I think it really does depend. I love the law of consciousness, and under that really anything goes. But for me personally, I really do think there’s a point of no return when it comes to A and P and states. Just in my experience, feel free to believe and do what you like. First and foremost, your beliefs are more important in your reality. But I feel like everyone says that so often. If you don’t understand that, it's not really my job to coddle anyone at this point 😭😭 everyone is their own god and that’s the most important thing to understand.
But I started my journey back in 2020 when I was 16, and I manifested so much with mirror work and affirmations because I didn’t know about the law, and honestly I barely knew anything about manifesting either. I was only a shifter. And all my shifting friends, not on Tumblr, who shifted pretty easily and I consider "master shifters" (not that it exists or matters), honestly didn’t get into LOA either. They just affirmed (but used LOA, by knowing they’d wake up in their desired reality without knowing). Ever since then, they don’t gripe in the community because sometimes ignorance rlly is bliss. If I was in 2020 and stuck with that, I would have gotten everything so easily. But looking back, somethings happen for a reason because the desires and drs I wanted at 16 are nothing like the life/drs I want and have right now. I’m so grateful I struggled for a bit; it was a blessing in disguise 😭😭😭.
Around that time, I hated LOA because I talked about this in a different ask, but my favorite master shifter on Reddit (I’m an OG Reddit girl) who brought LOA to Reddit eventually left because she claimed she thought she was mentally ill, and shifting is psychosis. So I hated Neville and LOA for a while, which is so funny, because what did he do? I also didn’t like states because none of my shifting friends knew about that, and all shifting was just knowing and affirming. I wanted to do that too, not live in my head or whatever I understood states as.
I obviously eventually learned about LOA properly and learned so much about the "mechanics" and origins and over-consumed, just like a lot of you guys. When I tried to go back to A+P, I struggled so much because I really did believe in states. I thought about my horrible childhood, but how I got through it was knowing and believing in magic and my eternal happiness. From ages 9-14, I was a very happy and lucky child despite my circumstances and depression, because I was in the state of someone who had it all. I always knew life was more than what we can see with our eyes, so really, I knew A+P wasn’t really what was working, it was my state. But I refused to admit that for a while and got mad when my affirmations stopped working (that’s what I mean by point of no return).
Also, my shifting friends are using states, and when I started asking them about it, they started talking learned about their methods and how they suceeed easily. Most of them used some variation of SATS without knowing and music to fulfill their inner man and know that, regardless, they’ll wake up in their desired reality. So I started doing the same, and that’s how I manifested my first shift.
But everyone is so different. Like look at all the success stories. Some people just use science and logic with lucid dreaming steps. A lot of people in LOA now didn’t even use LOA to manifest at first or get into the void or whatever. Some people shift without knowing or by accident, etc., etc. The point is understanding states helped me because that’s the type of person I am; I like knowing the mechanics behind the seemingly magic. But maybe you don’t, maybe you don’t care about states, you know they’re behind everything but don’t care. That’s all good too. I don’t care how anyone achieves or understands the law to get their dream life, as long as they’re not spreading misinformation. The law is about you and understanding what fulfills you; you don’t need to follow debates to fulfill yourself.
A lot of people feel very strongly about their beliefs because it’s what helped them achieve their dream life, so they’ll die on hills for it. And I honestly get it; that’s how you feel about shifting. So I really don’t like when people try to dunk on it or like "debunk it." And that’s how everyone feels for their beliefs; it’s the human in us, we feel strongly about our passions. But don’t let people make you feel bad about your beliefs. Sometimes Tumblr can get like middle school-esque with the labels and drama, but again, it’s a good reminder that no matter how godly you are, we still have our human shell, and that’s oddly comfortable to me so I don’t care that much tbh. Just do you girl, at the end of the day it’s your happiness that matters
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