#im not living rn im just existing and even that is too much when i know im not gonna get anywhwre in life
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bunnyboy-juice · 3 months ago
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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no1ryomafan · 7 months ago
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Every time I’m with my irls the subject comes up a lot more cause they’re into more female oriented series but man while it’s given better female rep is just okay-not astounding but not feeding into the more worse tropes of women in anime-I feel really bad for Michiru.
It’s like she’s the more prominent female in getter as she’s probably had the most appearances out of any of the others but I feel she’s never been used to her fullest potential. The manga really felt like Ken didn’t know what to do with her as she just kinda existed and then was killed off, arma just uses her as a plot device, toei I can’t speak fully but I know she’s a support character however given it’s that role and the 70s it only goes so far and in other canons she’s flat out hardly acknowledged. (SVN literally just has her as a cameo)
New is probably her best version but I feel there was some missed opportunities with her as the Hein arc could’ve shown more what was going on in the present and with her but it didn’t have enough time for that, and even if she does have dynamics with the boys hers and Ryomas are very undeveloped as they hardly interacted which is both a shock and a shame as they seemed to be fun in the one ep-ep 2-where they really talked.
And also as much as I like News approach to her characterization it is a shame we hardly ever seen the more traditional version of Michiru be fleshed out, when even if “uwu nice girl” is more basic it can still work and be a good character. Like it made me more sad watching Android Kikaider and seeing Mitsuko who’s basically the same trope as Michiru-down to even LOOKING like her-being a older sister with a dead brother, absent mother and a sus scientist father and be so fleshed out, but Michiru never got that chance.
You can always say “oh maybe in another getter project” but fuck knows when that’ll happen ever man💀
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phagodyke · 1 year ago
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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coridallasmultipass · 10 months ago
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lusalemaart · 1 year ago
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🥛🍔
#really getting fucking tired of tumblr not compressing my file itself. like it ruins the quality but it wont#automatically resize my massive fucking files!? gotta do it myself?? ugh. the lack of usability across all social media platforms is just#getting so hard to stomach anymore. nothing is functional. people get their accounts removed for no logical reason. im exhausted.#and yet i still want all my shit in a collective place -_-#ugh.do you ever look at something and are like. holy shit i painted this.damn. unfortunately it doesnt happen very often but when it does?#almost always my vent boy. why. why is that?why cant i paint anything half decent except this emo boy with a mullet?whatever. also. kinda#random but.not actually random. related actually.idk if this is just me but like. sometimes there are Articles in ur living space that just#exist. like u just accept they exist even tho u have no recollection of attaining them. im talkin clothes specifically rn. like i have this#aqua-green robe with blue trim that ive had as far back as i can recall...except i cant for the life of me remember where it came from! its#almost like it spawned in my closet one day.i just. accept it.like. dont get me wrong. it cozy. its quite physically held up for decades.#i wear it all the damn time. but ive no mortal clue how it got here. ive no memory of receiving it.also ngl i had way too much fun renderin#his beard.like u cant tell bc i apply about a million overlay layers and filters respectively to my finished works. ultimately covering up#hours + hours worth of finely rendered details each drawn individually by hand. deeming my efforts useless in the end bc i cover it up but.#trust me. i took some time with that beard.beard gang beard gang.mullet beard gang.dirty smelly mullet beard man. hello yes my name is#80 y/o who is 32/33 years old. how are you today? im personally doing terrible.good talk. WHAT CAN I SAY i just think the emo grown ass man#with boatloads of physical AND emotional trauma is neat. MY HANDS LOOK LIKE THIS SO HIS DONT HAVE TO *camera pans to a fucked up little set#of discolored claws skin translucent as alll hell. no muscle.atrophied beyond repair. also a bit of dirt is caked under the brittle + ridge#unhealthy nails. cuts and scraped take approx 3 months to heal bc the nerve functioning is That Bad*.#botdbs#fk#on a final note. I drew these about a week ago. I was literally only listening to cheeseburger in paradise the whole time. Then I learned#today that Jimmy Buffett passed away yesterday. broke my heart a little. i was just drinking my coffee from my margaritaville mug too.#Rest in peace legend. I hope heaven has so many cheeseburgers.#so many cheeseburgers in literal paradise.#Makin' the best of every virtue and vice. Worth every damn bit of sacrifice. to get a. cheeseburger in paradise.
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steor-ra · 2 months ago
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AHHHH I LOVE THIS CHAP OF BATFAM!! I CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO SEE US DEAD (?) I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE
TYSM I'm glad to know some1 enjoy it like I do even though I get too lazy to write and take too long to update😂 Anyways thank you for the support so here's some fact to the FF that I'll maybe not mention to the story because I wanna end the FF soon as possible 😎☺ warning; Im lost from the topic
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Remember when I said that Dick's one of the reasons why he ignored you was because you appeared lonely and sad? It was because Dick was still mourning Jason's death at the time, and he didn't want to interact with a miserable person like him. Dick was still furious with the world and himself for taking Jason away from him. He was afraid to say Jason's name if he attempted to speak with you. That is why he maintained a distance, which remained even after Jason returned.
Some of them actually have their each reason which I'll probably or maybe mention to a chapter
Anyway, Dick became a yandere for you because he is full of regret; he has become a figurative to anyone who enters or exits the mansion. He protected everyone from drowning in the sea of darkness, but he let you drown. In a sea full of sharks, preparing to eat his baby bird.
And he is terrified for your sake, but he should not be. He knows nothing about you; if Bruce or anybody else in the family is unaware of your existence, what makes you so unique that you must take over his head and make him obsessed with you? Despite years of ignoring you, no one knows anything about you, which is exactly the objective. Dick is intrigued with learning more about someone like you, and the more he discovers, the more he falls in love (platonic). Do you get what I mean?
The obsessiveness begins with the crushing guilt of not knowing anything about someone who has been living in the manor for years, and the more Dick learns about you, the more obsessed he becomes.
Maybe Tim will also have the same fate, maybe we'll know to the next chapt 😉
Maybe.
And btw dick misses his baby bat so much, please come back he swear he'll make it up for all those neglect
If you wish to not see bruce or any of them besides him, them you won't, it'll be just you and him baby bat :)
So please, come back
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(A/n: for those who had requested some sanerios and stories, don't worry! I'm still writing them and take super duper longgggggggggg to publish, just resurring y'all because I've had the experience of not being answered when I send asks🥲 and it hurts as a introvert person to be ignored😔💔 AND OH to that person who requested about joker!Reader x batfam like a month ago(?) I'M WORKING ON IT RN just superrr slow😑🙃 ANYWAYS thank you all for the support and for the patience for my slow ass mind I appreciate it ☺💞 especially the comments 💞)
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licorice-tea · 11 months ago
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Could I Be Loved By You?
Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x reader, Roronoa Zoro x reader, Trafalgar Law x reader (separate)
Content: pure fluff<3
Word Count: 0.7k (total)
A/N: short head cannons are something i haven’t really written before, so i hope these are still good! im in class rn but i got bored so i just finished writing sanji’s lmao- please enjoy! :)
Part 2
What happens when you ask them; “Do you think we’re together in every universe?”
Vinsmoke Sanji - 0.2k
“Sanji, sweetheart-“
“Yes, love?”
You smile softly at him before continuing. “Do you think we’d be together in every universe?”
Sanji doesn't even take a moment to consider his answer- he simply blurts out; “Yes. Always.”
A giggle escapes your lips, which come to press a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t know what other answer I could have expected from you.”
“I have more to say, if you'd like to hear it of course.”
“Mhm.” You nod.
Sanji clears his throat with a flourish, as if he's about to present some grandeur speech. “You are the love of my life- and of all my lives. Without getting to love you and be loved by you, I don’t think I’d be able to go on. So, naturally, we would be together in every universe. If not; it must be a world where I don’t exist.” Then, he takes your hands in his. “My love, I’d be yours in any universe you’d have me in.”
Your gentle smile grows into a full blown grin and, naturally, your lips are drawn to his.
Roronoa Zoro - 0.2k
“Do you think we’re together in every universe, Zoro?”
He shrugs, and starts fiddling with his swords. They lean against the same wall that the two of you are sitting on, his legs crossed around the spot where they hit the floor and yours pressed up against your chest.
“Doesn’t really matter, does it? We’re together here.”
You simply hum in response. It was unreasonable to except something poetic from him in the first place.
“But I hope we are.”
At this, your ears perk up. You turn to face him with wide eyes.
“I just mean… I hope I’ve done enough to deserve you in other lifetimes.”
The corners of your lips quirk up in a smile, and your arms encircle his much larger and more solid one. “You do more than enough in this one. Don’t worry about that.”
Zoro smiles too- not only at your words, but the tickle of your breath against his neck when you speak.
He really doesn’t care to imagine other universes- not when a mere moment with you is enough to take up all the space in his mind for hours on end- but Zoro will still always indulge your whims.
Trafalgar Law - 0.3k
“Law.”
He looks up from his book at your urgent tone. “Yes?”
“Do you think we’re together in every universe?”
He scoffs. “Yeah, of course.”
You tilt your head, silently urging him to continue. He doesn’t though- and he won’t indulge your curiosity without verbal reassurance. So, you give in.
“Why? I was expecting a full thesis with supporting evidence from you, smartass.”
Law shuts his book. “Ahem; Then, I believe that we would be together in every universe because… well, we’re together now. It’s the natural order of things, so why would that change in a supposed parallel universe?”
He’s such a nerd. You want to kiss him.
But instead, you just shrug. “Things happen.”
“Then I’d like to think that our relationship is still a constant.” He finishes off the topic with that. What reason could you have for wondering if you would still love each other in other universes, anyway? The answer is so glaringly obvious- to him, at least. He continues, this time teasing you. “Now, did you have a genuine question, or are we just proposing hypotheticals tonight?” Law smirks at you, but his cheeks are growing pinker by the second. It’s a futile attempt to cover how endearing he finds the thought.
With a satisfied shake of your head, you turn on your heel. “Nope! That was all.” And when you reach the hall outside his office, you poke your head back in. “Love you!”
Law pulls his hat down further, props his book up higher, and sinks into his chair. His voice is a quiet mumble as he returns the sentiment. “Love you too.” Which, he really does; he’s just a little shy.
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slytherinshua · 10 months ago
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I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU
genre. fluff. sick fic. warnings. reader is sick (fever, headache, nausea). food mention (soup). pairing. sungchan x fem!reader. wc. 754. request. requested by anon: currently dying atm... would live for sungchan taking care of me rn :( a/n. just me continuing to write sungchan as the most boyfriend material™️ to ever exist. also i swear im gonna be finishing those event drabbles soon i'm just sidetracking skdjks help.
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“You need to eat, baby.” Sungchan coaxed, holding up a spoonful of soup for you.
“Don‘t want it.” You mumbled in response, close to tears at just the thought of eating anything. 
You had felt nauseous almost all day, accompanied with a raging headache and a rising fever. Sungchan had dropped everything to come take care of you as soon as he heard you were feeling under the weather. You appreciated that you didn’t have to be alone in your misery, but you wished that your boyfriend would yield to your suggestion of just sleeping all day instead of taking medicine and food.
“It’s good for you. Come on, Y/n, please? Don’t make me have to do the airplane.” He held the bowl a little closer to you, hoping that the smell of fresh hot soup would persuade you. It did almost the opposite.
“Eating anything right now sounds like a nightmare, Sungie. Especially this soup…” You wrinkled your nose, trying not to breathe in any more of the aroma that on a normal day would make you salivate. Being sick was the worst.
Sungchan seemed to finally give up on the soup, placing the bowl and spoon down on the bedside table and slumping back to the side of the bed. He reached out for your hand, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles. Just the small gesture made you infinitely more sleepy than you already were. You would’ve just succumbed to the tiredness if Sungchan hadn’t opened his mouth to say something.
“You have to eat later, though. Okay? I can make you something else if you really hate the soup, but your body still needs nutrients.” He frowned at how exhausted you looked, even though you had done nothing but sleep and watch shows for the past day.
“I’ll try.” You closed your eyes again, considering the conversation done for now. You weren’t sure what Sungchan would do now. He had offered to cuddle with you many times, but you had outright refused each time he brought it up. You’d feel even worse if you got him sick, so you were trying to limit your contact as much as you could. 
Plus, from prior experience, you knew Sungchan had the worst cases of man colds known to the universe. Taking care of him when he was sick was listening to him whine and complain 24/7. No matter how much you loved him— even when you had to take care of him— you would always prefer healthy Sungchan.
“You must be cold sleeping by yourself.” The words came almost as a whisper, and much closer to your ear than you anticipated. You were too tired to open your eyes again, but you could feel that Sungchan had gotten on the bed with you, laying behind you to spoon you, one hand on your waist pulling you closer to him.
“Go away, I don’t want you to catch it.” You said meekly. You and Sungchan both knew you wouldn’t fight for him to leave in your state, though.
“I want to nap with you. I’ll keep you warm.” He said softly. He shifted even closer to you so that he could plant a kiss on your shoulder. You could hear him giggle slightly and feel his warm breath hit your skin. 
It felt nice. Even though your body probably felt hot to the touch, you had been freezing under 2 blankets all day. Nothing quite kept you as warm as Sungchan. His bordering on giant height and broad shoulders served their purpose in keeping you embraced completely; like your own personal heater in boyfriend form.
“You’ll get sick…” You mumbled one last time when you felt Sungchan start to press more kisses to your skin. You knew it would accomplish nothing. He was as stubborn as you were, and if it came down to it, he had at least 10 times the physical strength that you did, especially when sick. 
“I don’t care.” He muttered, his kisses steadily trailing up towards your forehead. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple, silently willing your headache to go away. 
You were sure that there was no real way that his kisses could actually relieve the ache in your head, yet in your half-asleep state, you felt as if the pain almost completely went away the second his soft lips came in contact with your burning skin. With the comfort of Sungchan next to you, slipping away to your dreams felt easier than breathing.
↳ riize taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @seolboba,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr,, @chiiyuuvv,, @evalevaeva,, @lecheugo
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lover-of-mine · 2 months ago
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hi my love it’s gg here
it’s time for a loooooong update
so there is tension that is building up like a background buzz in the gc bc remember that on main they have to look mindful and demure bc they know the cast and crew lurks so the anger the madness the pettiness needs to stay hidden
they were so happy in ep 1 but what they really wanted was that emergency even more than them living together bc tommy helping would’ve established his role in the 118 and how new work partner for buck
this emergency was going to give them interaction with the 118 but mostly with athena and since they have already buck and bobby talking about tommy they wanted athena too
they needed him to be a hero so everyone was going to be grateful to him
first they were sure about ep2 bc they thought the tim would’ve really have him being landed inside the hole in the cockpit and then they were sure about ep3 bc if the 217 truck is there he NEEDS to he there otherwise too much waisted potential
and they are mad MAD rn bc the spent all summer so sure he would’ve been main, that ostark and lfjr would’ve promoted the show together, interviews, joint photoshoot, him being featured in the poster, him in the promo, him being the white savior of the plane emergency
and seeing this kind of deranged in their closed quarters where no one can really see im really “scared” of what they will do when tommy is going to go away
Hello baby 🩷
Wow, imagine spending months raising hell just to be wrong in all fronts. They got a random flight instructor to talk Athena through the landing, they had a literal child being her copilot, not a single mention of him along with the implication that 217 is the not harbour since it was referenced as an engine, and Hen and Chim were the first ones on the plane to help. And that along with the scene he was in to remind the audience he exists was about Eddie and he did not fit in. He's not established as part of the firefam, he's not in the field with them even though he could've easily been included. Plane emergency, no one thought about him, and they played themselves because at no point watching Athena and Jem land that plane anyone thought "oh wow this would be better if we had a real pilot". He was gonna be a main and 3 episodes in, he has less than 2 minutes of screentime in the season, he's completely irrelevant. No promo, no interviews, 2 lines and absolutely nothing of substance. I would feel bad if I wasn't getting death threats. I'm just laughing. Well done, guys, you went to war for racist tree #3 and you're losing badly.
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meiguicha · 6 days ago
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TIFU by going out to eat hotpot
Jiaoqiu x Reader - Reddit exists AU
last one trust, also this one is kinda,,,,, graphic
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r/tifu ~ 4 days. ago
Greenhills_Bluerivers
im literally shaking while typing this out so if theres ten million typos please ignore it, im really gfigtihing for my life rn.
im in a relationship with a healer from the alchemy commission and i swear this is important. we both like eating hotpot since its really convenient for the both of us to share food and chat without worrying about other not eating as much.
my partner also really likes eating spicy food, like ring of fire in the aftermath spicy, and usually my stomach can tolerate it. even then, usually he gets me something to soothe my internal organs if i complain enough.
i woke up kinda iffy today but since we had agreed to go out for lunch after what it seemed like forever having meals apart, i ignored it for the sake of our time together.
bad fucking idea.
lunch time rolled around and i clocked out to meet up with my partner. he could kinda sense that something was off but i reassured him by saying i was just hungry so we just trudged on. one system hour later my stomach was gurgling like the pot itself and i was starting to get aches so bad i thought i had blood parasites nipping at my intestines inside me.
again i thought maybe my stomach was just unused to the spice after so long so i ignored it again.
wrong again.
abouy five minutes after this revelation i hade to sprint to the nearest toilet because holy fucking shit any second later and i think id just end up exploding into a flesh balloon of chilli broth and excrement.
im now desperately trying to maintain my dignirty while i can hear my partner cackling outside. sure he was concerned at first but now hes just laughing at my expense like a monster.
its like an actual active war in here. the stench is clogging my nose, my every muscle is working overtime as what must beliquid death just bursts out, i fear my heart is going to give out on me and my last moments will be here on this toilet. ive debated stripping entirely naked nbceause i can feel my every hair follicle on my skin rn and i think every orifice on my body has some kind of fluid cmoming out due to the sheer pain that im beunr put through.
i think my partner has disappeared because i cant hear him sniggering anymore and im pretty sure hes abandoned me to die in this embarassing moment. i can only thank myself that his boss and colleague isnt here too becayse otherwise i would never live this down.
Edit:
ive lost at least half my body weight. my partner had to give me a doctors note to get me out of work. hes put me on a strict diet now just to recover but i can still hear him sniggering. listen to your body kids.
GalacticBaseballer069 ~ 4 days. ago ~ OP i think i just saw you run into the toilet TileGamer4ever ~ 4 days. ago ~ Why are you somehow on every thread?
user0078203 ~ 2 days. ago ~ dawg your partner sounds like my doctor
MerlinsFalcon ~ 1 day. ago ~ So that's why you looked like you were put through the wringer when i visited
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npdzane · 3 months ago
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Zane time again.....i swear im drawing something im just brain rotted rn
Zane OBVIOUSLY has some kind of attachment issues. The way he almost instantly clung onto Pixal seemed like less of a "love at first sight" thing and more of a "ive never known anyone like me ever and you're the one and only person ill ever relate to please like me" thing. Ykwim? This feels like a reach but i mean. Missing her after the merge sounds normal but the fact he missed her so much he started talking to himself and completely ignoring frohickeys existence?? There is no way in HELL he is mentally sound.
Come to think of it, this ties into the idea he depends on pleasing people. He was sad when the others thought he was weird in s1 because he wanted to make them happy. And if he couldn't laugh at their jokes, how was he supposed to do that?
And since the start it's been established that he wants to feel like hes part of a family, since before unlocking his true potential he (if i remember right) felt like a complete outsider when he didn't get any mail from his father.
And (even though he lost his memories so he really had no idea knowing if he should have trusted Vex or not) he INSTANTLY believes Vex after meeting him. Yes his memories were wiped, therefore he was easier to manipulate, but it's not like his personality was wiped too. He is a very easily trusting person. He trusted that even nanakhan, the man he KNOWS is going to lie to him, wouldn't deceive him somehow. He trusted Pixal to do a full body scan immediately after meeting her, despite probably knowing that it means she can copy and/or his blueprints, because why would she? Shes a nindroid too, she must be trustworthy! So of course when he's stranded in a random ice cave in the middle of nowhere, he's going to immediately trust the first person he sees. Especially when you think about how easy it is to make him attached!! Just treat him like you're his dad or something and he'll trust you with him and his friend's lives!
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primoppang · 6 months ago
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hi. hi. here to request. a little seungmin fluff where we are kind of lonely and sad and he reminds us that he’s always there : )
HI HONEY TY FOR BEING MY FIRST EVER REQUEST <3333 ily and seungie so I got u bby ◡̈ mwah ur the best ( ˘ ³˘)♡
warning: swearing is inevitable with me sorry ¯\_(˶′◡‵˶)_/¯, fluff, like gross amounts of it, seungmin says "this is so gay but..." because he cringes at showing affection but refuses to let you forget how he feels about you fr, he's a tsundere ok? ok. he licks your face(?) , one (1) kiss, he joking threatens to fight you, and mentions of self doubt and anxiety, angst if you blink but I think it's mostly fluffy... anyways! lmk if I missed anything!!!
WC: a little under 500 :D
AN: this is the first drabble I've ever done in bullet point format so just pls lmk how it goes??? Im super nervous I hope it's at least an easy read :(
so the first time he realizes that you're feeling lonely he slaps himself internally because how DARE he make you feel that way, but he's not home rn and can't show you physically so he comes up with a Plan™️
you're literally the light of his life
so he just >:(
but not at u
he just wants to make you feel happy and loved and safe
so he starts brainstorming
but he's naturally a menace
so when you're texting with him while he's working and you're being kinda short
because yk
u just feel :(
he just sighs and texts back
"look, please don't feel sad. I know this is pretty fucking gay but I love you."
which makes u giggle
because that's YOUR seungie that YOU know and love so much
<3
BUT whenever he's able to be physically with you and he can just feel your self doubt and anxiety creeping in and trying to swallow you, he once again uses his braincell.
so he just grabs ur hand
and leads u out of ur bed and to the living room
sits u down
and starts running around ur shared apartment grabbing every blanket and pillow that exists within the space
and I mean
E V E R Y. S I N G L E. O N E.
puppy zoomies moment hehe
and don't even think about trying to question him
he'll just say "shut up and wait while I set up a big ass fort for us to cuddle in, ok?? I love you but I wanna make u SEE THAT."
which u smile at
because him telling u to shut up
but then explaining why
and then also watching him move furniture and start building the fort, you tear up with happy tears
because???
:(
he's the sweetest and u love him so much
but when he hears u sniffle
he turns on Extra Puppy Mode™️
pops out from under some blankets and tackles you into the couch and holds your face
wiping ur tears
maybe even licked one because he's a freak and wanted to get a reaction
which u just squealed at bc wtf sir
but then he realizes
oh ur crying because ur so touched by this whole thing that he's doing
!!!
"... you dummy. stop crying... we gotta get snacks and stuff for our super awesome fort yk??? and you won't be able to see if you're cryi—"
you cut him off by giving him a little kiss on his pouty lips
as a silent thank you :(
which he realizes that oops maybe he got too serious and overwhelming
but you reassured him that you're just so glad to have him as your partner and best friend in one :(
"please just remember that I do love you, and I'm always here even if that brain of yours tells you otherwise, ok? or I'll have to fight you... affectionately."
and then he proceeds to smother you in kisses and cuddles :(
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charmedreincarnation · 10 months ago
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Hi charm. Your posts have helped me lots! Im keeping consistent for once and understand the law and shifting properly. My question is that I’ve been trying to considerate my understanding and application of states and A+P. This sounds stupid but I go back and forth and try to apply them, but the debates about them don’t make sense to me. I think rn I reinstate more with states but some I do prefer to just affirm and I’m just curious on which one you “preferred” and how you applied that to shifting. Thanks 😊
I think it really does depend. I love the law of consciousness, and under that really anything goes. But for me personally, I really do think there’s a point of no return when it comes to A and P and states. Just in my experience, feel free to believe and do what you like. First and foremost, your beliefs are more important in your reality. But I feel like everyone says that so often. If you don’t understand that, it's not really my job to coddle anyone at this point 😭😭 everyone is their own god and that’s the most important thing to understand.
But I started my journey back in 2020 when I was 16, and I manifested so much with mirror work and affirmations because I didn’t know about the law, and honestly I barely knew anything about manifesting either. I was only a shifter. And all my shifting friends, not on Tumblr, who shifted pretty easily and I consider "master shifters" (not that it exists or matters), honestly didn’t get into LOA either. They just affirmed (but used LOA, by knowing they’d wake up in their desired reality without knowing). Ever since then, they don’t gripe in the community because sometimes ignorance rlly is bliss. If I was in 2020 and stuck with that, I would have gotten everything so easily. But looking back, somethings happen for a reason because the desires and drs I wanted at 16 are nothing like the life/drs I want and have right now. I’m so grateful I struggled for a bit; it was a blessing in disguise 😭😭😭.
Around that time, I hated LOA because I talked about this in a different ask, but my favorite master shifter on Reddit (I’m an OG Reddit girl) who brought LOA to Reddit eventually left because she claimed she thought she was mentally ill, and shifting is psychosis. So I hated Neville and LOA for a while, which is so funny, because what did he do? I also didn’t like states because none of my shifting friends knew about that, and all shifting was just knowing and affirming. I wanted to do that too, not live in my head or whatever I understood states as.
I obviously eventually learned about LOA properly and learned so much about the "mechanics" and origins and over-consumed, just like a lot of you guys. When I tried to go back to A+P, I struggled so much because I really did believe in states. I thought about my horrible childhood, but how I got through it was knowing and believing in magic and my eternal happiness. From ages 9-14, I was a very happy and lucky child despite my circumstances and depression, because I was in the state of someone who had it all. I always knew life was more than what we can see with our eyes, so really, I knew A+P wasn’t really what was working, it was my state. But I refused to admit that for a while and got mad when my affirmations stopped working (that’s what I mean by point of no return).
Also, my shifting friends are using states, and when I started asking them about it, they started talking learned about their methods and how they suceeed easily. Most of them used some variation of SATS without knowing and music to fulfill their inner man and know that, regardless, they’ll wake up in their desired reality. So I started doing the same, and that’s how I manifested my first shift.
But everyone is so different. Like look at all the success stories. Some people just use science and logic with lucid dreaming steps. A lot of people in LOA now didn’t even use LOA to manifest at first or get into the void or whatever. Some people shift without knowing or by accident, etc., etc. The point is understanding states helped me because that’s the type of person I am; I like knowing the mechanics behind the seemingly magic. But maybe you don’t, maybe you don’t care about states, you know they’re behind everything but don’t care. That’s all good too. I don’t care how anyone achieves or understands the law to get their dream life, as long as they’re not spreading misinformation. The law is about you and understanding what fulfills you; you don’t need to follow debates to fulfill yourself.
A lot of people feel very strongly about their beliefs because it’s what helped them achieve their dream life, so they’ll die on hills for it. And I honestly get it; that’s how you feel about shifting. So I really don’t like when people try to dunk on it or like "debunk it." And that’s how everyone feels for their beliefs; it’s the human in us, we feel strongly about our passions. But don’t let people make you feel bad about your beliefs. Sometimes Tumblr can get like middle school-esque with the labels and drama, but again, it’s a good reminder that no matter how godly you are, we still have our human shell, and that’s oddly comfortable to me so I don’t care that much tbh. Just do you girl, at the end of the day it’s your happiness that matters
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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parkour got me like yippeeee !!
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ghostsvacuumcleaner · 1 year ago
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Hello! i was wondering if you could write me a req bc i saw your reqs r open (bc I ✨respectfully✨ suck booty at writing)
basically, reader made friends with Ghost while working together on deployment, and became friends, they hang out sometimes bc they live kinda close, blah blah blah. then, Ghost doesn't hear from reader in months (which isn't normal, bc they text like once a month, just to make sure one another is okay when they can). then, one day, in the middle of a meeting Ghost gets a call from an unfamiliar number and almost ignores it until he sees that the area code is the one reader lives in, so he decides to answer it. boom, guess what? the reader is in the hospital, sustained r/srs injuries, and is in need of emergency surgery, and the reader made Ghost the emergency contact (lets also say they traded dog tags bc fluff?)
homie gets all sad bc Reader might die and is in a mini coma, blah blah blah, realized he r in love w the reader, and uh
you can decide whether or not the reader dies and what happens next
i fr scream YIPEEE when i saw your req open, i adore your writing, like top tear, makes me cry but laugh and scream bc how are you so good?! srs, im so jelly of your writing! okay anyways, hope you have a lovely day, you dont have to do this is you dont want or if im jus a silly fucker and mis read and your reqs r closed or sum
Hellloooo! Thank you SO MUCH for the beautiful compliments and for this request <3 I loved it so much I started writing the day you sent it to me. But since it's very emotionally charged, it took me a little while to finish and I'm sorry bout that, and I rly hope you're still around and eager to read it!!! Well, there it is, my take on ur req, hope you like it.
Take me back (to the night we met) | Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader
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✦Word count: 2.1k ✦ Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley xf!reader ✦Summary: Simon gets a call from the hospital saying that you are hospitalized, in a coma and in great life risk. ✦ TW and general warnings: sensitive topics, lots of angst, fluff though, death implications, open ending, sad af read at ur own risks cuz i'm crying in my room rn;
I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met
“Johnny and I make our entrances fast. I clear the way, he goes front, three of you get in by the back and we surround the site to get enough space for the hostages to come out. Any questions?” Ghost asks sternly, as is the usual of his tone especially coming down to work. He was being brutally professional at the moment - if there was rather a sign of an existing Simon, it was gone the moment he got inside the briefing room. Silence follows for the next seconds while the crew seems to be pondering over what he said, analyzing the map over the big round table sticking to the center of the room.
As it is expected, no questions. He nods with his head assuming by the silence that they’re all understood.
“Our orders are to neutralize any individual we find on the site whose face doesn’t match with our hostages, which means we do it fast before they get the chance to call for reinforcements. We don’t wanna make a mess out of this.” Price then continues his own talking, marking X’s over the tactic map and giving the next orders to every one of them. It is when Gaz opens his mouth to say something, that Simon’s phone rings for the third time in a row. He curses mentally - he muted his phone the first time; now, it was vibrating in his pocket. Awkwardly, the vibration itself is heard by everyone in the room and they turn their eyes on him almost instantly.
“Hell.” He curses out in a low voice before shaking his head. “My apologies, Captain.” His voice tries its best not to come out too annoyed, but he fails and it does; despite the timing being inconvenient, no one seems to be bothered. Johnny furrows his brows in concern, and looks over at Price, who seems to have the same, perhaps even more intense, look on his face.
Ghost mentions to pull out and turn off his phone once again, but Price is quick to intervene.
“Riley.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Third time in a row; seems like somethin’ serious, get out and pick up.” He states comprehensively.
Despite being slightly reluctant, Ghost agrees - it must be something serious. What, he couldn't come to imagine - but if for a moment in his life he had something close to a hunch, it was now, and it said he should take that call.
“Alright, one minute. Move on without me.” He nods and leaves the room, phone in hand and a worried sigh leaving his nostrils. When the door closes behind him and he walks a bit further down the hallway, he picks up.
“Yes?”
“Is this Lieutenant Simon Riley?” A feminine voice asks from the other side. Sounds in the background, beeps and small, muffled voices.
“Affirmative, who’s this?” He frowns.
“This is from the Special Forces Manchester Hospital, are you familiar with the name- hmm…” She seems to be taking a couple seconds to read, and continues saying your name. 
He freezes in place.
How long has it been since he last heard this name? How long has it been since you vanished like thin air, disappeared, stopped calling or answering? Busy. That’s what he thought. Busy with work, busy with anything. The two of you had always been two busy people, in a desperate need for time.
For a moment, in those torturous seconds of silence, Simon found himself praying to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in, that this nurse wouldn't tell him you’re dead.
“Yes.” It’s all he manages to say, with his eyes running down to the ground in a dead stare. Dead eyes. He gulps, after the despair in his chest makes him speak once again, “Why?”
“Well- sir, you’re her emergency number, we’re calling because we couldn’t manage any family members… She’s in a coma. She was severely injured in combat, and [...]”
His heart stops, like it never did before. He doesn't react, his eyes look around as if he's searching for something - as if searching for his own reaction hidden somewhere within that empty hallway. The weight of your dog tag around his neck seems to be suffocating him now. 
To his silence, the woman continues.
“[...] it’s… currently sort of impossible to predict her state within the next few days, she’s fighting but struggling lots; can you come over?” 
“Yes.” He sharply replies, immediately. His eyes are still on the ground as he closes his eyes, and nods. “I’ll be on my way, yes.” 
“Good.” She replies, and he turns off.
For a moment, he stops to breathe; Ghost wipes his hand over his mouth in a somewhat guilty expression, he should have reached for you. He should have reached you the instant he missed you, your calls. 
“Hell…” He shuts his eyes for a moment, his heart stings like he’s poisoned, it hurts - some sort of pain he swears to god, he probably never felt before. Not when he lost his training dog, nor when he lost friends before - maybe because there were always a lingering possibility between the two of you. It was nothing but a friendship, never had been - but every word, every phrase was full of underlines of sentiment, an immense desire to reveal his interior and spit out the fears he refused to speak about to anyone else.
It's the possibility that kills him now. Even after all this time, not for a second did you cease to exist in his troubled and saddened mind. Suppressed by all the worries and feelings he thought were more important than you.
Not for a moment did he stop thinking about that pleasant end to his career, the retirement he knew he deserved, a house at least isolated from the rest of the world with trees and streams, the snow falling when winter comes and the sun scorching the land. land when summer finally arrived. You, on the front porch. 
You.  You.
When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met
You were leaning back on the sofa, your legs stretched out by the small table that marked the space between you and the balcony railing of his apartment.
The rain fell calmly, some thunder, but few drops. The sound of them falling against the roofs of the houses below the level where you were was echoing in your ears, and he seemed busy drawing patterns among the heavy clouds that covered the sky. 
He gave up trying to find any stars in that rainy sky and found comfort in finding your eyes instead. They were already watching him, almost expecting him to say something, even though the silence between two of you usually speaks volumes more than words itself; you’ve never been good with them, much less him. 
Simon looked down at your dog tag, lying brightly on your bust exposed by the tank top you wore. 
“What do you want to do after retiring?” He asked, his voice calm, his eyes almost closed. He took your necklace between his fingers calmly, and watched your shiny name exposed on the icy metal.
“Gotta be honest with you, can’t see myself retiring.” You replied, with your usual brutal honesty - something he particularly always liked so much about you. “What about you?” 
You don’t mind him, you allow.
“Don’t know.” He was, too, brutally honest. “Seek fuckin’ forgiveness for my sins before I die and end up in hell, I suppose.” 
You laughed.
“Oh, fuck. Gonna die trying to find that, mate.” You admit, raising your eyebrows in another big sip of your beer. “We’re all going to hell… At least we’ll all party there together.” You sounded fun, and your eyes turned into little lines with the genuine smile you let out when noticed that he too laughed at your joke. 
“We’re partyin’? Tell me Johnny isn’t going…”
“He’s my first guest.” You laugh harder.
“Thought that’d be me.” 
“You hate parties.” You raised your eyebrows.
“I don’t hate you.”
You silently smiled and looked away. 
“Fair enough.”
When it came to the two of you, there was nothing but connotation.
You could spend hours in that apartment alone with him - and you did. Did plenty of times, and yet, among subtle touches and heartfelt conversations, the end would be the same. Not in his bed, not in yours: by the door, with a rueful look and smile on your face. 
With a held back hug you never gave, a held back kiss you never allowed and an uncertain goodbye before departing on a mission that could take your or his life.
There was a phone call, once.
He called you late in the night. He was drunk. Too drunk. 
“I’m scared.” His voice was low, fluttering, like those cold days he’d be waiting for his dad’s arrival in his bed, under the covers, terrified and alone. “I’m scared. Can- can I see you? Can I come over, please?” 
As you hugged him on the couch in your own apartment now - that huge, strong, self-sufficient man collapsing in your lap like a baby in need of comfort, your heart was never right about anything like it was right about loving him. In that moment you knew it, you were fucking lost, taken, desperately in love.
You departed; you gave him your dog tag, he gave you his. A memory, an attempt. Do not forget me, you said. Don’t you dare forget me if I die, Simon Riley.
“I didn’t.” 
He looks at you with regret. The devices that help you breathe keep him from seeing you fully, whole - but still behind all those hospital beeps and sounds, you're still as beautiful as the first time he saw you.
He wants to go back to the past. Reverse everything he did, redo it from scratch; the first time he saw you, the first time he felt his heart ache listening to you talk about another man, all the times he repressed his feelings and swore not to love you.
“I want to be with you.” He mutters, his eyes emptily stare down your almost lifeless hand resting over his. “After I retire. I want to be with you.” He says again, closing his eyes, shutting them tight like he’s trying his very best to repress the tears he wants so bad to let fall. 
“I fuckin’ need you- I- how did this happen, how did you…” He gasps as the clock ticks, low, the sound of the hands ringing like doomsday inside his head. Every second that passed was one less with you. There are twenty minutes left for you to enter that operating room, and maybe you’ll never leave it again.
His eyes water and his legs give out, he kneels beside the bed, his suppressed voice sounding like a low, painful moan. The cry of a child who lost everything he had; of a confused teenager who would become a soldier, cold, dead inside, incapable of love - who loved you. Who loves you. “I’m scared. I’m scared- I love you.” He’d mutter, praying to all known gods to not take you. Take anything, anything from me; anything but her.
When the doctors came into the room and hurriedly moved your gurney to the ward in a desperate attempt to get your heart working again with the transplant, Simon sat in the waiting room with his face buried in his hands, his legs trembling. and the false hope that you would come back.
That you’ll be on that front porch, resting ever so happily, a bottle of beer in your hand and the dogs running around. He will have gotten rid of the mask and the habit of wearing it and you’ll be happy. You’ll be happy. You’ll be alive.
“God, please.” He mutters. “You’ve taken so much from me, now please, not this.”
He stands up as the doctor calls his name, with his heart on his hand and regret flashing his face off, he just wants another minute with you, another second with you, enough seconds so he can tell you he love you - he had, for most of his life and now, and he will, for the rest of his days with or without you.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met.
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nailgunstigmata · 1 year ago
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i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it
like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world
and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.
mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy
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