#im literally him lol

[carlotaamm]

nobody does young adult crisis like jonathan byers

Hi! I know you probably can't answer this till the end of season four or until we're a little further into the season, but could we see the talk between Jonathan and argyle? When they're at that junk yard playing "golf" and Jonathan opens up about college and Nancy and bug . I'm really curious to see more insight on Jonathan's conflicting feelings.

of course !! im actually really excited to dig into some more longer scenes that i had to cut because bug wasnt directly in them <33 welcome to the first directors cut of come home !

words: 1.6k

enjoy <3

“Yes! 

A golf ball shatters a car window, the sound ringing through the desert air. Jonathan throws his hands up, cheering, the satisfying sound of glass breaking mellows the dull roar that’s been ringing in his head ever since moving to California. 

The sound mellows the roar, and with some help from Argyle’s “special flowers”, the smoke stifles the ache that Jonathan’s bones possess. Yet as the golf ball lands and the silence after the wreckage settles, all that’s left within Jonathan, the very thing he can’t seem to outrun, is his loneliness. 

“I don’t know,” he finds himself saying to Argyle. “Part of me expected Nancy to be on that plane… or something.”

Seeing Mike again hadn’t been so bad, Jonathan supposes. The teen has grown a lot since leaving Hawkins, and he knows how much Will and El missed Mike, but Jonathan couldn’t mask the disappointment he felt when Nancy hadn’t been by her brother’s side.

“No Y/N, man?” Argyle swings his club and sends a ball flying, but it misses the junkyard of abandoned cars by miles, and he angrily throws the club. “Shit!” 

Jonathan runs a hand through his hair, the familiar feeling of bitterness creeping upon him. “No,” he laughs, harsh. “I didn’t even think she’d consider coming all the way over here, anyways.”

“You never know,” Argyle points his club at him. “You always drone on and on about her, man. Seems like the type of chic to hop on a plane and surprise her man.”

“I’m not her man,” Jonathan rolls his eyes. He’s tried explaining to Argyle a million times who you are and who Nancy is, but after months of explaining and re-explaining, Argyle still believes Jonathan left Hawkins and two girlfriends behind. “Not that it matters, anyways. I just–”

More anger and confusion washes over Jonathan. He doesn’t know how to express the words that perpetually get stuck in his throat. There’s a mix of emotions that swirl within him, always begging for release. 

Remorse, because he misses you and Nancy. Guilt, because he hasn’t been honest with either of you in a long time. Confliction, because he can’t do what you want, what Nancy wants. Jonathan can’t do the one thing you and Nancy ask of him, and it’s slowly driving him insane. 

“I felt this intense relief when Nancy wasn’t there, when Y/N wasn’t there.” He admits.

Argyle shakes his head. “No, that’s the Purple Palm Tree Delight working its magic, my man. Makes your troubles float away like the seed pods of a dandelion flowing in the wind.”

The mention of dandelions makes Jonathan’s bones ache even more. They’re your favorite flower. At least, they used to be, but it’s been so long since he’s really talked to you, and even longer since he’s laid down in a field with you to listen to music together and stroke each other’s skin. 

And then the thought of you sparks memories of last night and how Jonathan had called you, high as he always seems to be these days, and the whispered confusion he felt fall from his lips. His stomach twists, wondering if what he asked you, if his question of what if was too soon, too much, too revealing.

But everything is just so hard between him and Nancy. Exhausting. All her expectations of him, all the hiding Jonathan has to do, the lies he keeps feeding her because he can’t stand the thought of upsetting her, and he’s tired. 

And yet he’s hiding the same things from you, though Jonathan knows that eventually you’d forgive him. You always do, and he always forgives you, always accepting the molted parts of the other. Everything is easier with you, and that’s why Jonathan hasn’t called you back. He knows that this time he doesn’t deserve your unyielding understanding of who he is. 

The memories of last night are hazy, smoke infested and dull. But he remembers the tears in your voice and thinking how disappointed you’d be in him if you knew all that he was hiding from you. 

He isn’t ready to face any of it just yet.

“If I showed you something, you wouldn’t tell anyone, right?” Jonathan asks Argyle, needing to confess his sins to at least someone.

“Who would I tell?” He chuckles, slightly confused. “You’re my only friend, Jonathan.”

Argyle’s words make the taste in Jonathan’s mouth even more bitter. Last spring, Jonathan never thought he’d ever have to say goodbye to you, the only friend he would ever need. Now, it seems he only really has one friend in the world, and somehow that friend isn’t you. 

He throws the golf club down and lets Argyle putt another ball as his fingers dig into his flannel pocket. The paper beneath his fingertips is worn, smoothed over by his anxious fingers. 

“What’s that?” Argyle looks at the piece of paper being offered to him. Jonathan doesn’t say anything, he just hands it to him. 

“It’s an acceptance letter to Lenora Community.”

“That’s where I’m going.” Argyle observes, holding the piece of paper close to his face as he reads its lettering.

Jonathan sighs. “I know.”

“But you’re going to Emerson with Nancy.” Argyle then looks up. “Or was it NYU with Y/N? It’s hard to keep track of your girlfriends, dude.”

“Nancy is my girlfriend, Y/N is my best friend.” Jonathan practically says this through muscle memory now. “And no, I’m not going to either of those schools. They just… don’t know it, yet.”

Argyle blinks a few times, desperately trying to understand what he’s being told. “Hold on a second, what’s going on?”

Everything that’s been building within Jonathan, every phone call he’s lied through his teeth, every soft bee that pierces his skin, ever I love you that Nancy whispers through the phone, it all comes spilling out.

“I-I can’t leave my mom and my brother to… to chase a dream that isn’t mine.”

“You’re dead, man. You’re so dead.”

Jonathan grips at his hair. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Not lie!”

“Not lie?” Jonathan is yelling now, slowly losing grip on reality. “Not lie?”

Argyle waves his hand at him. “Yeah!”

“I-I mean, NYU used to be my dream. Me and Y/N. That was all we used to talk about, but now if I tell her the truth, she’ll be stupidly understanding and wonder why I even lied in the first place and then-then she’d just learn to live without me!”

Jonathan blinks away tears he hadn’t known were coming. “She already is learning to live without me! I can feel her slipping away and it’s all my fault because I’m practically forcing her to forget about me and-and Nancy?” He paces the earth, body thrumming with insecurity. “She’d just throw her dreams out the window to come out here and be with me.”

He swings his club, messy and anxious, needing something to do with his tired hands. “And I… I just can’t take that. This-this huge knot of resentment would build like… like some cancer until eventually she hates me and then before you know it, we’re just like mom and dad and Y/N is gone and-and then I’m divorced and my kids hate me and I can’t call her or Nancy–”

Argyle misses his swing, having stopped listening to Jonathan’s spiral long ago. “Shit!”

He starts whacking his club on the ground and Jonathan joins him, slamming the ground repeatedly, every thud sending a painful jolt up his tendons, but he doesn’t care.

“Yeah!” He screams out, exhausting himself. “It’s all just shit, shit, shit!”

Jonathan throws his arms up in the air again and rests his club between his shoulders. He rests his head against it, aching for your voice and for Nancy’s touch and for the two girls who mean the most to him. 

“The cycle never ends,” he exclaims to the sky above. The cycle of your endless forgiveness for Jonathan. The cycle of Nancy’s desire for him to be better, to live a life he deserves. Over and over again all he ever does is let the two of you down. 

“Yeah, man. Your nightmare cycle.” Argyle rolls his eyes. “Two hot girls who want what’s best for you. Must be real hellish for you.”

Jonathan glares at him and Argyle raises his hands in surrender. “Alright, I’m sorry, man. So you want it to stop, but what is your approach here? To just force Y/N out of your life and slow-motion break up with Nancy?”

“I…” Embarrassment stings Jonathan’s body. Hearing it from someone else is only more jarring, knowing how pathetic he’s being. “I guess?”

“No, man!” Argyle screams at him. The genuine despair in his voice startles Jonathan. He’s never seen his friend so serious before, which only means how completely fucking stupid he’s being. 

“I know!” Jonathan winces. “Okay? I know, but I don’t know what to do!”

“Palm Tree Delight! That’s what you do!”

“Palm Tree Delight?” Jonathan knows that smoking has only made everything worse for him, but the idea of the acrid smoke filling his lungs causes his mouth to water and his body to shiver. 

Argyle shoves him towards the van. “Go!”

Jonathan stumbles over his feet, dropping his club to run towards the vehicle. He runs to escape his guilt, to forget how weak you sounded last night and how defeated Nancy sounded during their last phone call. Jonathan runs towards the van and throws his body inside, allowing the pain of the impact to lessen the sting of losing you.

-

﹂director's cut masterlist

﹂if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[antihero8baller]

hi guys

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[slushy-sash]

painted this as a birthday gift for myself 🥳

[dkettchen]

she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh

[qualityrain]

why are they batshit insane

[chipchopclipclop]

few more scratchings before i forget about them

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[turrondeluxe]

always happy about the fact that in 2012, mikey often asked donnie questions if he didn't understand something and donnie always answered no matter what

this can be seen in a bunch of episodes but my favorite example of it it's the one in half shell heroes where mikey is extremely excited to be in the museums and is the one actively asking donnie questions about the exhibits they saw and also actively listening to donnie's explanation (before raph got silly lmao). he was very excited to learn!!!

And while it's true that mikey would lose interest quite fast if the explanation got too lengthy with too many technical terms, it doesn't change the fact that he does retain the info donnie is always rambling on about different things!!! (even if mikey himself doesn't notice he's doing it lol) and also i find it very sweet that no matter if donnie himself got annoyed, donnie would always answer the questions. no matter what. he would always try to explain if he didn't understand something

This is prob because mikey is the one brother who is often seeking out donnie to pass time around him Meaning that donnie might have used mikey as his rubber ducky whenever mikey hangs out with him while he's working (explained him a lot of his experiments and theories while trying to solve them himself and in this way mikey also learnt in the process WHILE spending time with his brother! win win!)

it also helps donnie because accompanies him while not letting him get lonely in his lab 24/7, sometimes explaining things to someone makes it better to understand it yourself AND it's shown in the comics that donnie is quite used to his brothers just Living as background noise and literally cannot function without it lmao

They are literally the two smart kids in the family even if none of them notice it and it's all because mikey looks up to his brother and is like an sponge with donnie around. donnie is actively teaching mikey and mikey is learning! even if they have no idea they are doing it

[formulanni]

Oscar Piastri as The Fool (redraw):

The Fool represents new beginnings, having faith in the future, being inexperienced, not knowing what to expect, having beginner's luck, improvisation and believing in the universe.

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls

[rosefires20]

My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.

Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.

To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.

The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.

The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.

Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.

Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.

[choccy-milky]

the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO

1 like = 1 prayer

[avephelis]

theo your rolls too tough your swag too different they'll kill you...

[rosykims]

i genuinely love love love the iconoclast path in rogue trader SO MUCH. its one of the things that ultimately enamors me to the warhammer franchise as a whole despite empathy being so antithetical to its world and genre. its not just because iconoclast is the Nice Person route or because it subverts the foundational principle that In The Grim Dark Universe There Is Only War............ but mostly i love it because its the best way to actually engage w the morality system presented in 40k and explore it the way it deserves to be explored. its so unique parsing through the choices of the game and navigating how one might actually ACHIEVE goodness through - or more accurately without - the lens of liberal modern morality. because adhering to what we presently would call morality is arguably crueler than some of the dogmatic choices - or at least the game wants you to reflect on that and decide if that kind of morality still has value or not. and i like that they give you the opportunity to do that. youre rarely rewarded for kindness in this game and in fact your oftentimes actively punished for it (void shadows was a TRIAL for my iconoclast rt) which presents another question: are you being good because of a reward you believe you'lll be entitled to, or are you being good for the sake of goodness itself??? in saying that i do LOVE how there IS payoff in the iconoclast route eventually - when youve bleed and suffered for it enough. but theres a quality to it thats so..... so BITTERSWEET, because yippee you Empathed your way to the top - but also what IS the top?? congratulations, you are the kindest autocrat in the most bloodthirsty fascist regime in human history, sitting on your throne on a voidship run by all your slaves and serfs who die by the hundreds every time you make a warpjump for some dumbass sidequest. what the fuck. can you actually call that goodness ????? is whatever goodness-adjacent thing youve achieved worth it even if you cant change the system in the ways that matter ??? lastly - the iconoclast ending is both so wildly universe-altering to the point of feeling like a heretical ending - but also kind of. not mattering really lol. because even though its hopeful, the "good" ending still feels soooo tentative with the likelihood that its very likely not going to last. but that in itself is my favorite take away from playing this game as The Last Good Guy in the Galaxy: because the love DIDNT change anything. and it DOESNT save anyone. but ohhhhhhhhh my fucking god does it absolutely matter that it was there.

[ponchcronch]

If I had a nickel for every time I had an alien with a portable pocket dimension who's likely the last of their kind as a comfort character, i'd have two nickels. /ref