#im like a third of the way through and its a distinct change
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some-sort-of-ecologist · 19 days ago
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I'm finally reading The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (The Hunger Games being one of my favourite series, it's wild I havent read it before now) and while many things are striking me, possibly one of the biggest changes from THG is the decision to use the words "kids" almost exclusively instead of "tributes"
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notedchampagne · 6 months ago
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What makes a tlt au work for you? Do u have any favourites out there/that you’ve thought of?
its hard because it can go down to the writing! i have a huge bias for things that put focus on the characters acting awful and driving the story forward- if a story has a plot thats great, but its the difference between "gideon and harrow keep meeting up at parties and fall a little bit in love every time" and "gideons angry she lost her childhood to the cult so she attends a party with the tridentarii to shotgun adolescent experiences, and harrowhark, frustrated that gideon is pulling on her metaphorical leash, follows to stalk her". the former retains a 5+1 fic format and is more bite-size, while the latter puts more focus into their growth as characters. im not great at articulating what i like specifically, but ill put my favorite fics below:
what if nona was dogs tugs at my heart: its post-canon, slice-of-life, and has a unique concept (said in the title). i judged a book by its cover because i thought the premise seemed too silly at first but ive been made a fool and its pet clown. it feels so true to nona the way its about all the things nona loves and how she gets to explore the world through new eyes. i love the way it explores characters softening up and getting hurt through a third person pov
we have always lived in the apartment by @thatneoncrisis i keep saying this but for the love of GOD guys this au is so good it makes me cry and feel such a deep catharsis from it. it takes gideon and harrow and the ninth as a cult and explores their struggle to adapt to a modern society when noone ever gets a break (WOW ITS JUST LIKE IN REAL L-). quinn writes the sides of griddlehark i think go overlooked in fanfic often: their codependency, their tendency to lash out when theyre defensive, their mutual paranoia and different coping mechanisms, harrows psychosis and gideons bitterness, their relationships to each other as being the only other person who really understands what the other suffered through. god. i feel lightheaded.
"but SAM, i dont like angst but i want to see this writing!" read gap between a tragedy and a comedy
"SAM, i also like when gideon and harrow are horrible because theyre maladjusted teenagers! but i want more antics where the characters drive things forward over angst!" read whats eating gideon nav
you just aint receiving is one of my FAVORITE modern aus of all time (and i heavily recommend the authors other fics as well!) if you really want to see how much i love this fic the fact that my comments take up the entire phone screen probably says a lot. its hard to put it concisely: it keeps harrows air of misanthropy and cruelty but redefines it as the result of her upbringing and personal struggle to live in a university while dealing with a backpack of mental illness and frustration. it changes gideons personality as the daughter of john gaius in a way that makes sense having her grow up with johns middling parenting skills and getting everything she ever wanted (connecting it back to kirionas personality in ntn!). it brings in side characters (specially palamedes. my beautiful boy palamedes) in ways that compliment harrow and gideon but not so obviously that they only exist to be supports. they have their own lives and ideals. its a modern au that brings in the boiling politics of johns cult uprising once again in a really novel way
semi charmed kinda life by @griddlebait. jesuchristo and all his middle names this fic is GREAT for you if you want a slice of life, coming of age type modern au that explores what its like for gideon and harrow if they actually got the space to see who theyd become outside of the stifling fate tlt has for them. as far as modern aus go im usually very hesitant to read them because im afraid modernizing the characters takes features away from their core but i really love and respect the way the author treats the 69ers with care and draws distinct lines that shows me how their grow and change while keeping a line to the anchor. also they write HIDEOUS (complimentary) PINING. DISGUSTING. some of these chapters were so chock full of dyke drama that they made me nauseous and whimsical. i think once a friend said this fic felt like if gh could be reincarnated and i like that descriptor a lot
til the cows come home is another postcanon fic that made me feel sick and crybabyish about it- i would definitely recommend it if you want to explore a happier ending with griddlehark! with this and what if nona was dogs the thing i like most about them is that they mix up vulnerability with pain and fear, so it feels more lifelike that way if that makes sense. i lost my taste in fluff fics over time but when its interspersed with struggle and characters causing problems because they cant cope with themselves it feels much more earnest and raw
this became very long. im not sorry
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m0thkiller · 2 years ago
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So my SWRPG group is midway through our second campaign (working title Rebel Scum just took so we kept it the tags gonna be swoopposting tho cuz its in the same swrpg setting as our first game, swoop gang which is also still ongoing) and my character Vikho Ried just hit 29 morality last session and its all ive been thinking about for the last four days. Looking back so far shes had two distinct stages and were on the brink of her third. (with stage four either being jedi knight or dead)
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big pile of sketches over the years below the break
the original vikho concept was to hop in with a suave shitty smuggler from a backwater planet whos force sensitivity went unnoticed because she was so far out of the way of everything. Dolly Parton x Han Solo with enough Revolver Ocelot and Eva Metalgear mixed in to make a green skull cloud bubble out of the cauldron
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she quickly turned into one of the party’s icons because shes a dramatic bitch who loves doing stupid flashy shit mid fight, and leverages her genuine dumb curiosity with seductive and a conniving edge to act as the party’s charm/deception face. She got a boyfriend, who then turned out to be a spy and thus was executed by the party while she wasnt looking. She never really got over that. BUT!!! around the same time she also fell in love with another party member, Noelle, played by @butch-paladin​, who also drew her a bunch early on like this one that genuinely had more impact on how i visualized early game vikho more than my own drawings.
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this was like peak vikho, every time she got her hands on a new thing i would draw it, theres easily a dozen of these little skitcherins around but theres no way in hell im sorting thru my unsorted pile of sketches (i started this stack sophmore year of highschool)
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noelle and vikho where such a charming duo and stayed together for most of the campaign up until last session when her slowly declining morality finally hit the breaking point and the dark side corruption finally GOT her ass. Noelle ran away in a panic because holy shit Vikho just let an imperial POW go so she could shoot him in the back
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Now that Noelles gone its set in to Vikki just how deep the rot goes and shes having a total breakdown because in her detatched and simplified understanding of the force yellow eyes = inquisitor = evil = marked for death. so shes abandoning the party, including Noelle, to go find a corner of the galaxy to curl up and die in because she is CONVINCED she cannot be redeemed now.
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such a fundamental change in her character arc spurred me to do a character redesign since shes throwing out her old wardrobe and i nailed it on my first try
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closet-begone · 3 years ago
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Hi! There are multiple things I’d like to come out as if you don't mind :)
Firstly, I am an aegoromantic bisexual genderfluid/bigender person! I've always known I was bisexual but I went through some weird phase with my gender for a bit and finally landed on something I like after getting rid of all the internalized transphobia I was shocked to find that I had.
I say I'm aegoromantic because I only feel romantic attraction in daydreams which I think that label best describes but kinda going against the definition I’d love to be in a relationship, just in a platonic way. I’d be fine doing things that people in a relationship do, including sex, but it would be strictly platonic. I’d also be fine with someone wanting a strictly sexual relationship with me. I know a lot of people find fwb relationships to be strange or whatever but id be perfectly okay with it
Second, I am self diagnosed with adhd! I've been doing research on adhd and other disorders that overlap it and are linked to it and everything I've read about it has pushed me towards actually having adhd. I meet all he criteria for it. Now I just have to wait until I turn 18 later this year to get myself tested
Third, I do believe I am a system! I also think it's disordered. The headmates have become much more clear to me after I started questioning being a system. Fae, our little, being the most distinct one of them all. There's only four of us (including me) but a small system is still a system!
hey there anon !! yea its no trouble if you or anyone else wants to ramble bou theyre coming out thats perfectly fine !! /gen :D aww welcome to the community !! youre so very awesome and swag for finding who you are !! yea having those feelings internalized sucks but im so proud of you for getting over it ! woo go anon !! /gen ^__^ ooo yeah aego fits you well !! thats amazing to hear how you know who you are when it comes to relationships but no fwb are not weird at all !! most of the time its not anyones taste in relationships but you are perfectly valid for being open to it !! :]] woo self dx adhd gang !! welcome !! :D congrats for taking the time to research and find yourself !! if youd like , you can also ask online therapys or your counselor if you have one and ask them for an appointment to get evaluated for adhd if your thinking of get prof dx !!  lastly !! woo !! weve got another boys another sys has become self aware !! :D /pos !! im using waaaayyy too many exclamation points but idc >:]] thrilled to here how far youve came but yes even if your system is small your valid we love small systems here !! /gen anon you are so very wonderful youve come so far if you ever feel like your labels have changed thats stellar as well , hope you have a good rest of your day or night !! ^__^ mod spacedog
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courtney-deserved-better · 4 years ago
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my opinion on td finalists
spoiler alert, im not a fan of most
TDI: Owen & Gwen
uh I personally don’t like either of these guys for finalists. gwen did do a lot but there were so many times where she just acted so apathetic I was like why?? are you still here?? and as for owen... I didnt like him as a character for a Long Time and he's growing on me but he just doesnt seem like finale material
I think a duncan versus leshawna finale would've been super fun to watch. especially if they teamed up to take down heather in the semifinal. those two had such a fun dynamic, especially in the triathlon episode, that I think taking it to the finale would've been fantastic. also leshawna deserved to win that season and you cannot change my mind
TDA: Duncan & Beth
duncan, while not my first choice, I can see making it through to the finale this season. but beth?? no. im sorry but shes just too much of a side character and is canonically fake nice and annoys everyone else so it doesn’t really make sense
an interesting finale would’ve been duncan versus courtney considering how volatile their relationship was this season. however, bc courtney was kinda awful to duncan, I dont think she deserves to win this season. it would be cool if there was one ending where their votes tied and they made up and decided to split the money but that just feels too tame, both for a finale and for their dynamic
harold versus duncan could be interesting, but because duncan tends to bully harold, I dont think his win would be fair in this situation. I think lindsay versus harold would be the best, as this season is about lindsay learning to take charge and come up with strategies, and while he can be off-putting and occasionally condescending, I think harold has a lot of useful skills that could really flourish in the finale
TDWT: Heather & Alejandro
while I dont ship them at all, I truly dont think there could've been a more satisfying final two. we’ve had their rivalry build up from day one, they have a ton of good songs together, it really completes heather’s arc of antagonist to antihero to protagonist. heather winning is the best ending in my mind, but I like  alejandro winning too. the only problem I have with his ending is that it only happened because heather threw in the wrong dummy-- I think it would’ve been more clever for him to have switched them or something like that
ive been thinking about some other final twos that I think would be interesting, though unable to top the canon one imo. gwen versus courtney would be really cool because of the friends turned enemies thing-- I think it would be interesting for courtney to be put in danger and gwen has a choice of saving her or going for the money and she save courtney before apologizing again (maybe dumping duncan) and the two make up and split the money. 
though I don’t really enjoy either as characters mostly due to their writing, cody and sierra would be an interesting final two. maybe cody finally stands up to sierra, or sierra struggles with wanting to be the winner of total drama or helping the boy she likes win. it definitely wouldn't be as good as the canon two but there would be a lot of clashing dynamics at play that'd be fun to explore
TDROTI: Lightning & Cameron
admittedly, I don’t remember too much from this season, but it really felt like these two kind of coasted by. I never found lightning to be a particularly compelling character and thought it weird how he suddenly went from dumb jock to evil jock in the last episode or two. cameron really felt like he was just carried through the season, similarly to beth, though I dont have as much as an issue with him winning. I dont think it was a bad finale, per se, I just think if those were the final two they should've been written better from the start
seeing as how jo really played the game and went all in, I think she would’ve been a great finalist. it would’ve been interesting to see her versus (commando?) zoey though im not the biggest zoey fan. I think a jo versus lightning finale could actually work (or brick) though if there was a jo versus cameron finale, I couldn't see him logically winning bc jo would just destroy him
TDAS: Mike & Zoey
*BIG FUCKING INHALE* no. just no. im probably not gonna say anything that’s not already been said so ill keep it short. bland, mal writing bad, have someone who's been in the game for 3 previous seasons instead of  1 make it to the ALL STARS FINALE. jfc.
you know what would’ve been an interesting finale? gwen versus courtney. they both said they wanted to reach the final two with the other one, so maybe they do! maybe they start to struggle with their friendship because of courtney’s competitive streak! maybe one of their helpers is duncan and that causes strife between them! maybe they become enemies again and don’t make up until the finale! maybe they decide to split the money! idk! it would've had a hell of a  lot more flavor than what we got
TDPI: Shawn & Sky
I don’t really have an issue with either of these characters making it to the finale. they’re compelling, worked hard, and have distinct goals. I would’ve liked to see jasmine in the finale but I'd be cool replacing either one with her: jasmine and shawn having to compete against one another would be an interesting relationship hurdle and sky versus jasmine would've been cool because they’re both very athletic and it would’ve been the first f vs f total drama finale (we've had m vs f and m vs m but no all-girl finales...)
TDRR: Surfer Dudes & Police Cadets
Again, I don’t really have an issue with this finale. I really like how Sanders and MacArthur both work hard in their own ways and have to learn how to work together (MacArthur breaking Sanders’ arm and realizing that she can negatively affect her partner and also that Sanders is super tough was a GREAT arc). I know there’s been some contention about the Surfer Dudes being eliminated and then coming back so late in the game, but it made sense to me. They chose to lose because they felt that they owed it to Devin and Carrie, and that choice paid off when Devin and Carrie called in a replacement team. I doubt the surfers expected that to happen, they were just trying to be fair, but that kindness was rewarded in a big way which I think was sweet, especially  considering how much of a hot mess this show can be. 
I gotta say, this does kinda remind me of the TDI finale, with the villain (heather/ice dancers) getting eliminated third, and their rival (gwen/police cadets) making it to the finale with the fun guy (owen/surfer dudes). The reason I like the Surfer Dudes as finalists more than Owen is that I felt they put in more effort during challenges and had more of an arc (with Josee’s mind games ending up bonding them as a team after strife, choosing to be eliminated for the sake of fairness, etc). 
Speaking of Owen, it’s kind of ironic that if I had to replace a team in the finale, I would replace the surfer dudes with the reality tv pros. they’re my favorite team and I think it wouldve been great for them to really live up to their name. I think it also would've been funny for the ice dancers to be so focused on their rivalry with the cadets that the pros just completely go under their radar until its the final three and the ice dancers are like “oh crap they’re PROS why haven't we been trying to destroy them??”
I also wouldn't mind replacing the surfer dudes with the sisters. I know emma gets a lot of hate (mostly because of nemma which I only like platonically) but I actually like her as a character (when she wasn’t being obsessive) and I think she and kitty were a great team that had a good arc of learning to work together. I also think it would be really interesting because for the final three they would all have rivalries with one another: the police cadets and the ice dancers (obvious) the ice dancers and the sisters (josee messed with them in at least 2 challenges) and the sister and the police cadets (kitty and macarthur’s game/road rage was hilarious)
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thespianbooks · 4 years ago
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A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 12//
Masterlist
(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd *bold tags don’t work! Let me know if you would like to be added to the list!)
For the six weeks I was aware of my pregnancy, I had learned almost everything an expecting female should know at sixteen weeks along. As a human I never learned much about pregnancy or babies and honestly never expected to. I figured I would learn more once my sisters were married and expecting their own. I never anticipated that I would be the first. Now, of course, being a faerie changed all of those preconceived notions. I was mated, in love, and both my mate and I desperately wanted a baby of our own. But after having tried to conceive for the last decade, I was honestly a little embarrassed that I didn't educate myself more on the condition.
However, Madja made sure to inform Rhys and I of what to expect based on whatever stage I was currently in. At four months along, well into the second stage of my pregnancy, Madja advised us that I would soon "pop." We must have looked equally confused at the phrase, because the healer then explained that soon my pregnant belly would become more pronounced—that I would start to show. I naively thought that it already happened, seeing as Rhys was obsessed with the small swell that was my stomach, but Madja expressed that this minor swelling was more of my body bloating from the hormonal changes occurring in my body.
In passing, my pregnancy wasn't at all noticeable. I often chose to wear my usual leggings and soft sweaters around the estate and whenever I ventured into the city—visiting my painting studio Ressina had graciously taken over after current events kept me away. The only time my stomach was truly noticeable was when I was either naked (much to my mates' pleasure) and when I wore the gown that hugged my every curve during our visit to the Court of Nightmares. Even then I had to flatten the fabric in order to really accentuate the curve to Keir and the rest of the court. However, among the fae, my condition was easily noticeable thanks to my scent. Every time Rhys and I had journeyed into the streets of Velaris for walks along the Sidra, dinner at Sevenda's, or otherwise, we received approving smiles from passersby who took notice—all too polite to come outright and congratulate us before we made an official announcement.
Once we had actually announced the news, days after the Court of Nightmares, most every fae—lesser and otherwise, frequently and eagerly praised us. It was such a contrast to the reaction at Hewn City, that I couldn't help but get a little emotional every time someone gave us a gift or offered a piece of advice. Many times, Rhys and I heard of their excitement for when I would start to show—of when my belly would "pop."
And now, standing in front of my floor length mirror wearing my silken dressing gown, I realized I had indeed popped.
I stood astonished as I viewed my new pronounced belly in the mirror, despite it still being rather minor, there was now a distinct outward curve from below my bust line to my hips. I turned to the side to get a better view of my new stomach and blinked; wondering at just how long it might've taken me to notice this change. It had been another week since Rhys and I sent out letters requesting to move up the summit meeting; convincing Tamlin to attend as well. While it only took a couple of days to hear back from all the courts, we were still exchanging letters to iron out the details.
Kallias had been the first to respond, expressing his and Viviane's shared desire to meet early since their child was due in only a matter of weeks. Their child would still be a newborn by the time our summit would normally take place, and neither had the inclination to leave behind their baby or part ways with the other so soon after the birth. After Rhys confirmed with Kallias that it was safe for Viviane to travel, he sent a request for a room for us to stay in—and for me to recover in after winnowing to Thesan's palace.
We both agreed it would be wise to express to Thesan why we needed the room, and the High Lord of the Dawn Court readily agreed—having already received the same request from the High Lord and High Lady of the Winter Court. Along with his approval of the room, he also sent us his congratulations in the form of a large crystalline vase filled with a colored variety of delicate flowers that grew exclusively at his court. I was a little hesitant upon first seeing the bouquet, recalling that the last time we received a gift from a court they had been the blood rubies from Tarquin—after taking his half of the Book of Breathings. Rhys reassured me, however, that flowers were indeed a good sign—the extravagance of the arrangement showing Thesan's support.
"Well look at you," Rhys said from the doorway with a devilish grin, pulling me from my thoughts as I met his gaze. "Or should I say look at you two?"
I grinned at him through the mirror as he crossed the room, getting on his knees before me as he took in the full view of my stomach. His violet eyes were full of adoration as one hand traced the new curve and the other rested on my hip.
"You really are showing now, my love," he said before placing a chaste kiss on my skin.
I smiled and brushed a stray lock of his blue-black hair from his face before he stood again and encircled his arms around my waist. He pulled me gently against him and our grins widened when my newly formed stomach pressed against the hard planes of his.
"You better enjoy being able to hold me this close while you can," I teased. "Pretty soon my belly will be getting in the way."
"Of all the things that could come between us, Feyre darling, this," he said, moving his hands to hold either side of me "is the best."
My face flushed with pure joy as he lowered his brow onto mine, his violet eyes sparkling with an equal amount as I laid my hands on his chest. "Will you still feel that way when I'm as big as a house?" I asked timidly.
For a while I was pondering over the fact that pregnancy now meant my body was going to change—drastically. Realistically, I always knew it was going to happen, but after hearing talks of just how excited everyone was to see the physical evidence of my pregnancy, the reality of this transformation began to settle over me. My figure had been through a few changes before; once transitioning from human to fae and adopting near-perfect features. Again during that period of darkness after Under the Mountain, when I had gone gaunt and pale; my body at its weakest. After coming to the Night Court—to Velaris, I recovered. My cheeks filled in, the color on my pallid complexion came back, and the rest of my figure filled out to a slender physique. Training with Cassian and learning to fly with Azriel had added more weight to my frame, coming strictly from my newfound muscles. Over the last decade, I maintained that lithe and fit shape, but being pregnant meant everything was becoming...soft—or at least softer. As much as I loved and reveled in the joy of knowing my son was growing by the day, I couldn't help but wonder at how Rhys might react to said changes.
"You think I would sneer at the changes in your body or a few permanent stretch marks?" Rhys asked, a bit stunned, reading the insecurities hidden behind my words.
"No! I just...I don't-" I sighed, searching for the accurate way to describe my feelings. A surge of emotions hitting as I sought the right words. "I'm afraid that if I find them ugly, if I hate them, then I'll convince you into hating them too. I know you'll keep telling me I'm beautiful and that I look perfect, but with the way my hormones are wreaking havoc on me, I'm afraid I'll complain so much that you'll begin to see what I see. That, or I'll complain so much that you'll get annoyed with me."
Rhysand's look of shock disappeared as he cupped my face gently in his hands, his violet eyes besotted as he stared into mine. "Nothing you could ever say or do will change my opinion of you, or how I look at you, Feyre darling," he started softly. "You are my mate, my wife, my equal, and now the mother of my child. You will always be that, and so much more, in my eyes, no matter how unattractive you might feel at a certain moment."
I smiled as he pressed another kiss to my brow before moving to my lips. I kissed him back eagerly, draping my arms over his shoulders delicately and pouting a bit as he pulled away prematurely.
"You can't just say perfect things like that and expect me not to shower you with kisses for the rest of the hour," I teased.
His grin was mischievous as his eyes raked over my body, still clad in my silk dressing gown, lingering on my breasts appreciatively as he took in those changes as well. "I would gladly take the rest of the day allowing us to get lost in each other's arms, darling, but we did get the final word from Thesan in regard to the summit."
I languished at the loss of our time alone; at the duties that being High Lord and High Lady were currently stealing from our time as a couple but resigned with a nod. "All the final preparations have been made; the date is set?" I asked, staying in his embrace.
He nodded, "We'll leave tomorrow," he said. His expression grew a bit somber as his hands moved back to my waist, thumbs stroking along the curve of my stomach.
What's wrong? I asked through the bond after a moment of silence passed between us.
"It's Beron," he replied aloud. "He responded that he will be accompanying Eris this year, along with the rest of his entourage."
My blood chilled. Along with sending an imploring letter to Tamlin every year, we also sent an invitation to Beron—who always vehemently denied and in his place Eris attended alone. After our secret negotiation with Eris before the war, we often tried to guess when he would call in his favor—to remove his father off the throne so that he may take over as High Lord, but after all these years he still remained ambiguous in those plans. Over the course of the decade, his meetings with Keir decreased, and while we kept a close eye on those visits and made sure to show up every time he did, we were still anxious that he might also be a participant in Keir's coup. Our plan was to confront him at the summit meeting and gather whatever information we could. Beron's attendance now made said confrontation tricky.
"Do you think Eris is involved?" I asked.
Rhys shook his head. "When we struck that deal, he wanted our backing when it came time to install him on the throne. As ruthless as he is, a part of me believed him when he asked for an alliance," he explained.
I chewed on my lip as I contemplated it. As the eldest of the Vanserra sons, Eris was indeed cruel—especially after what had come from his rejection of the marriage alliance with Mor centuries ago. Still, after his aide in the war and his confession of saving Lucien, it was possible he was still an ally.
"I find it hard to believe he wouldn't know of Beron's plans. He claims ignorance at every summit, but would Beron really keep him in the dark for this long?"
Rhys frowned, "After the war, and all the convincing Eris did on our behalf for the war-effort, it's possible he's turned to another one of his sons to prepare for the throne once he's gone. It might even be part of whatever negotiations he's in with Keir—to support the son of his choice to take over as High Lord one day."
I sighed heavily, seeing the truth in his words and nodded, "So how do we question them now?"
"Beron isn't a stranger to openly sharing his distaste, and something tells me he'll really hate this," he said, motioning to my stomach. "So, we wait for him to dig his own grave. That'll be telling for us, and the others."
I gave him a wry smirk, "Something tells me that this summit isn't going to be as peaceful or quaint as it has been in the past."
"Ah Feyre darling, when have any of our summits been quaint?" He regarded with a grin.
I laughed as I remembered our past summits, which almost always ended with us eating dinner with the other High Lords—along with Vassa, Jurian, and Lucien. We were still wary to refer to Jurian as a friend, but he was most certainly an ally as he served by Queen Vassa's side. Regardless, those dinners always ended up being a rather boisterous, yet enjoyable gathering of friends. It was reassuring to know that while our decade-long tenure of peace was currently in question, at least we could rely on the friendships we had formed with the other courts and the mortals.
"Good point," I said with a sigh. "I just hope everyone else will support us."
"You still don't fully realize just how well-liked you are, do you?" Rhys asked with a warm smirk. "The males might not openly admit it, but they greatly admire you, Feyre darling. And from what I've seen between you, Mor, and Viviane, the High Lady of the Winter Court also holds you in high regard."
I smiled again, trying to hide the blush creeping in on my face. "So, what you're trying to say is; I have nothing to worry about?"
He nodded, almost mocking in his tone as he tapped the tip of my nose. "Precisely, my love."
I tried not to laugh, shaking my head at him. "Prick."
"Right again," he said, this time capturing my lips with his as I laughed in reply.
XXX
The next day Rhys and I were the last to arrive at the front foyer of the manor. Our usual entourage of Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Nesta waited for us—along with Amren and Elain to see us off. I had always found the latter a strange pairing, but oddly fitting as well. Elain, always one to refrain from any sort of confrontation, preferred to stay away from our summit meetings. Meanwhile, regardless of her transformation as a true high fae, Amren still possessed that air of anonymity as well as intimidation. Her foreboding nature served us well in the Court of Nightmares and would probably aid in our situation with Beron and Tamlin, but our second-in-command never attended the summits. She often claimed that being surrounded by that many animated personalities would render her so exasperated to the point of a migraine. So, she stayed behind and watched over Velaris—as well as kept a close eye on Elain.
"It's about time you show up," Cassian teased as Rhys and I approached the group. "That youngling is already slowing you two down."
"That tends to happen when a pregnant female has her head buried in a toilet for hours," Rhys snarled back, a protective hand coming to rest on the small of my back.
Cassian's mood shifted to one of guilt and I saw Nesta and Mor turn a scowl of disapproval in his direction. I held my hands up in reassurance, "Ignore him, Cassian, the mating bond is making him grumpy."
"But you're not well," Azriel said before Cassian could reply, his hazel eyes carefully taking in my current state.
Unfortunately, it was true. I woke up with another bout of nausea that kept me in our bathing room for the better part of the morning. I was growing weary of these spells of sickness, especially given how seriously Rhys responded to them. Every time I was the least bit unwell, he insisted I remain in bed. Until today, where I determined that we couldn't postpone this meeting regardless of my illness. It was an unfortunate side effect of pregnancy I would have to continue to deal with, and I refused to let it hinder me further.
"I'm all right. Just a part of the process," I said, hand resting on my stomach.
They all looked at my hand, unease looming in the air, but I straightened my shoulders regardless.
"We should go, I don't want us to be the last ones there. The meeting is already going to be delayed until after I have time to recover from winnowing," I said.
"You and Viviane both need that time," Mor said. "All those haughty males will just have to deal with it."
Nesta huffed in approval, and Amren crossed her arms with a wicked grin. "I say milk that time for all its worth. Though I've never been, I've heard from all of you how well the High Lord of Dawn accommodates his guests."
"I've also heard how well everyone attends to a pregnant female. It's so rare among the fae—us, that I'm sure they'll give you anything you need," Elain chimed in, touching my arm delicately.
I gave them a tired smile and nodded, acknowledging their advice as well as their concern. Rhys had expressed just how weary and pale I looked before we left our rooms, and I was sure they all saw it in me now.
"And if they don't, we certainly will." Azriel added, more out of reassurance to Elain than to me.
"By force if we have to," Cassian joked, some of his ease returning.
"That's very sweet of you all, but I'm fine," I insisted, turning to Rhys.
He nodded before addressing the others, "Why don't you all go ahead? We'll be right behind you, and we'll join you in the chamber once Feyre's recovered."
They all nodded in approval before I could protest; Mor taking hold of Cassian's shoulder just as Nesta placed a hand on his arm wordlessly. Azriel disappeared first before Mor winnowed my sister and Cassian away in a whirl of black. I turned back to Rhys incredulously just as Amren led a wary-eyed Elain down the hall that led to her garden, asking something about a new herb she was growing.
"You didn't have to send them ahead of us," I chided, crossing my arms.
Rhys's returning smile was impish, "Now who's grumpy?"
I shoved his shoulder, "I'm serious Rhys! What will the others think?"
He gripped my arms gently, pulling me back to him. "The others will be placated by Thesan until you and Viviane recover. Once we meet with them all in the chamber, and we reveal your pregnancy, they'll understand," he reassured.
I chewed on my lip, considering. "You're sure they won't feel slighted by seeing our entourage present without us?"
Rhys chuckled, "Feyre darling, I bet they're all taking bets on whether you're pregnant or not as the real reason why we're holding the summit this early in the first place." He kissed my temple. "I hope this paranoia is just a temporary symptom of your pregnancy. You are High Lady of the Night Court, you bow to no one," He reminded me.
I nodded with a withering sigh. "I know. This summit just holds such higher stakes; we're not only announcing my pregnancy to our friends, but we're asking for alliances in a civil war that might break out in our court. It's...nerve wracking."
"Understandably so, my love." He kissed my forehead again, his violet eyes burning into mine with admiration. But we'll get through this together.
I smiled and closed my eyes as dark talons caressed my mental shields gently, I slipped them down—reveling in this quiet moment, this peace, alone with him in our minds. He pulled back, physically and mentally, and grinned at me.
"Shields up?" I asked as mine clicked solidly back into place.
"Always," he purred in my ear as one arm came to wrap around my waist.
I closed my eyes as I felt the darkening effects of winnowing begin to engulf us. Prior to pregnancy, the feeling was quick and had a subtle impact—making me dizzy for a moment as I adjusted to my new surroundings. Over time, it hardly bothered me at all. Now it felt sluggish, the darkness hitting me with a force that felt as if I were being dragged through thick mud, and when the light of my new surroundings finally came into view my mind was racing and spinning as if I had been twirling on pointe with my eyes closed for several minutes.
Unfortunately, this harsh vertigo was seemingly getting worse as my pregnancy progressed. I gripped onto Rhys, my nails digging into his arm as I tried to ground myself. I kept my eyes shut tightly as the spinning continued, and I could hardly register the myriad of voices around me. I knew one belonged to Rhys, presumably talking to whatever sentry awaited us at the Dawn Palace. I winced as I felt myself being swept into Rhys's arms and rested my forehead against the crook of his neck as I gulped in a few deep breaths, fighting against the continuous swirling of my surroundings.
When the world finally stilled and my breaths began to slow and came easily, I heard the gentle timbre of Viviane's voice alongside Rhys's and another male I assumed to be Kallias. I couldn't make out what they were saying at first, but I realized I was slowly gaining consciousness as their voices floated in. I hadn't realized I had fainted until I opened my eyes and saw the intricate details of the ceiling of Thesan's sunstone Palace. Rhys was seated at my side on an impossibly soft lounge, his attention back on me as I muttered incoherently.
"What was that, my love?" He asked, concern all over his face.
I blinked and cleared my throat, "I fainted?" I asked, my hoarse voice.
"Just for a few minutes," came Viviane's voice from beside me.
She was in a lounge similar to mine, only a few feet across from me. Her mate standing guard beside her as she sat upright. My eyes were immediately drawn to her large, round belly; a pale hand perched delicately atop it as her own weary gaze met mine.
"Congratulations," she said happily, though I could hear the exhaustion clear in her own voice.
"Oh, Viviane, look at you," I said, trying to sit up but stopped when I felt another wave of dizziness threaten to hit.
Rhys eased me back onto the back of the lounge, "Don't try to sit up just yet, Feyre. You need more time."
I nodded as I readjusted myself against the pillows on the lounge with his help and smiled back at Viviane, "You're huge," I cooed.
I heard Kallias choke back a snarl, a hand coming to grip the back of Viviane's lounge as she rolled her eyes. "Kallias's male-bonded 'tendencies' assume anytime someone says that to me, I'll be inconsolable," she reasoned.
Kallias cleared his throat as he met my gaze, "Apologies," he glanced back down at his mate, "But to be fair, the one time I said it, you burst into tears and shut me out of our rooms for hours."
"That was different, I had only just begun to show, like Feyre." She said, motioning to me.
I glanced down at my stomach, my hand laid atop it in similar fashion to Viviane. I looked at her belly again, astonished that in only a matter of months my stomach would look the same. When Kallias's eyes trailed to me, Rhys's own unabashed snarl ripped from his throat as darkness seeped into the corners of the room. I gripped his hand to calm him just as Kallias's own guard was thrown up, causing Viviane to heave an impatient sigh.
"Honestly, you two and your male instincts will be thrown out of this room if you don't put a leash on it," she snapped.
I heard Kallias mutter an apology just for her ears as Rhys offered a sheepish grin, squeezing my hand reassuringly.
"How are you feeling?" I asked her, wanting to shift the conversation back into a lighter one.
She beamed, running a hand along the expanse of her belly, "Honestly? Exhausted doesn't begin to cover how tired I actually am, but in spite of it all," she looked up at Kallias, her icy blue eyes warm. "We're so excited."
Kallias sat beside her, his hand coming to caress her stomach lovingly. I smiled as Rhys's own hand came to rest on mine.
"Do you know if it's a boy or girl?" I asked.
"A girl," Kallias answered, his eyes never leaving Viviane's stomach.
She beamed, "The midwives told us it was a girl, and they're well known for predicting the gender of our courts younglings. They haven't been wrong in centuries."
My heart squeezed at the painful memory of the Winter Court's younglings; of Amarantha's cruelty wiping through the many young and innocent lives of their court. I knew Rhys felt the same shame as we watched Viviane and Kallias share a tender moment, marveling over her swollen stomach and their unborn daughter, and I squeezed his hand again.
It's in the past, and they are healing. I said down the bond, reassuring him.
Rhys squeezed my hand back and gave me a warm smile in thanks. I can't wait to see you like that, round with our child and both of us counting down the days until his arrival
Let's hope I'll be as graceful as Viviane.
I have no doubt about that, Feyre darling
"Do you know what you're having?" Viviane asked with a sly grin, knowing she was cutting into our silent exchange.
Rhys and I shared another before he announced proudly, "A boy."
"Congratulations Rhysand," Kallias said, crossing over from his mate's side to shake Rhys's hand.
Rhys stood to return the gesture, offering his own congratulations as Kallias motioned my mate over to the open archway in the room—a subtle request for a private word. I turned my attention back to Viviane as the two males stepped away.
"It doesn't get any easier does it?" I warily asked.
Viviane gave me a sympathetic smile, "I'm afraid not. Just wait until you start to feel your little one move," she indicated to her stomach. "This one leaps at just the sound of Kallias's voice."
I stared at her stomach in awe, "She can hear you?"
"So, can yours. In fact, he's been able to hear your voice from the beginning. As he grows, he'll be able to hear other outside voices, especially your mates."
I looked down at the swell of my stomach, distinctly smaller than Viviane's, but still visible through my gown. "All this time I've been teasing Rhys about talking to him, not realizing he could actually hear me all along," I said in awe.
She warmed, "Isn't it remarkable?"
I nodded as I caressed my belly lightly but cast a worried glance back at her when she winced and shifted in her seat. She put up a hand to signal to Kallias, who snapped his head in her direction at the sound of discomfort, that she was alright and huffed in annoyance as she turned back to me.
"Enjoy those movements while he's small, because once you reach the end stages it's all feet and elbows in your ribs," she complained as she pressed against one with two fingers.
"Is she moving right now?" I asked, moving upright in my seat to get a better view of her stomach.
She nodded, "Do you want to feel?"
I blinked, mouth agape and was on my feet—albeit still slowly and cautiously as I was just starting to feel better, and crossed over to sit beside her on the lounge. I saw Rhys glance at me, posing a question down the bond before I reassured him that I was all right. Viviane guided one of my hands to the side of her stomach and I sucked in a shocked breath at the swift kick I felt on my palm.
"That was a kick?" I asked, completely stunned.
Viviane grinned as she nodded, "She's strong, isn't she?"
"Yes, she is," I said, mesmerized as I moved my hand to a different spot on her belly; a grin breaking out on my face as I felt another kick.
Viviane adjusted herself again, "She kicks my ribs a lot more lately, now that she's moved into position."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"The midwives say she's moved into the correct birthing position, head down here," she explained, gesturing to her pelvis and then gestured to the apex of her stomach, "And feet up here."
"And that means you're ready to give birth?" I balked, a little nervous that the High Lady of the Winter Court may very well go into labor during our summit.
She chuckled, reading the panic in my face, "Technically yes, but the midwives say I still have a couple of weeks to go. The baby is just getting herself ready."
I nodded in understanding. So far, I hadn't yet considered what labor would be like. Madja had been guiding Rhys and I week by week, sharing with us any warning signs to look out for, but no mentions of labor just yet.
Viviane must have also read that concern in my eyes and placed a reassuring hand on mine, "Don't worry, you'll learn more about the birthing process as you get further along. When I was at your stage, I was just glad not to be puking my guts up every day."
I grimaced, "It was bad for you too?"
She nodded, "There were days I could barely get out of bed!"
I took comfort at that, glad to know I wasn't the only one to have suffered, "But you feel better now?"
She shrugged. "In a sense. I'm not as queasy anymore, but now my back and feet ache—understandably so," she said, motioning to her stomach again.
I smiled empathetically, "Does Kallias never leave your side?" I asked, wondering if their mating bond was as sensitive as Rhys's and mine.
She laughed, "Not for a moment. Especially now that my time is near."
"I'm surprised he's even talking to Rhys right now," I said, gesturing to the two males standing across from one another underneath the intricate open arched window.
"Kallias is probably warning him of what to expect," Viviane said as she followed my gaze.
"What do you mean?"
She sighed, weary. "Our midwives informed us of what the labor process will be like once the time really comes. Not only about the pains and the birth itself, but how...delicate the mating bond is. Females become withdrawn, reserved, as our bodies naturally prepare for the undertaking it will face in order to give birth. Males, on the other hand, grow even more protective if you can believe it; not as aggressive as they are when the bond is new...but more mindful and vigilant. They can apparently sense when their mate is about to go into labor and feel the need to do everything in their power to make sure she is comfortable for that moment."
I watched Rhys and Kallias as she explained, noting the grim line on Rhys's face as Kallias probably went into more depth of what he would experience as a mated male. "Do you think you're getting closer to that time?" I asked.
She shrugged again, "Not yet. As Kallias likes to put it, even this far along I'm as feisty as ever," she laughed lightly and caressed her stomach. "I can tell it worries him though. Bringing about a youngling isn't easy, and I can tell he's anxious to see me in pain."
I frowned, "Will it be terrible?"
She smiled sheepishly, "I'm not sure yet, but I can't imagine it'll be pleasant. But...everyone tells me it's worth it, especially once we see our babies...nothing else is supposed to matter."
The dreamy look in her eyes reassured me and I caressed my own stomach lightly. I can't wait to meet you.
Neither can I. Rhys said through the bond, and I met his gaze as we both exchanged a quick smile before returning to our conversations.
As I kept stroking the gentle swell of my stomach, I couldn't help but wonder if our son could hear us through our bond—if he didn't already have both of his parents voices fully memorized.
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maluminspace · 5 years ago
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Genre: Fluff
Pairings: Calum Hood/Female Reader
Word Count: 4.7k
Requested by: anon x 2
Yule Ball, best friend to lovers, Ravenclaw reader, Calum (your house choice). Murder me please*
hi love could i still request? slytherin calum and ravenclaw reader, best friends to lovers, yule ball. im a hoe for hogwarts au and i hope u can still do my request. thank you 💗 (requested by anon)*
Trigger Warnings: strong language
A/N: this came out longer than I expected. I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you as always to @h0tsos and @5-secondsofcolor for all the help pulling this together!
***
Having built up a solid sporting reputation during your six years at Hogwarts, this is proving to be as far from your comfort zone as possible. 
The Triwizard Tournament as a whole, is right up your alley, of course. Especially since the type of dangerous tasks that it used to consist of had long since been discontinued. These days the tournament was basically a huge sports festival, whereby the three school champions, from Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, would take part in events such as magical assault courses, spectacular broomstick flying demonstrations and other athletic exercises. Therefore you’ve been excited to watch it for longer than you care to admit. You only wish that it’d been scheduled for next year instead of this one, so that you could actually put your name forward to be the Hogwarts champion. Unfortunately, only students over the age of seventeen have that potential honour open to them and you’ve only just turned sixteen.
Despite all of that, you’re excited for the contest to begin. Before you can enjoy all of the sporting festivities, however, you have the not-so-small formal tradition of the Yule Ball to contend with.
You smooth down the front of your dress robes nervously. Staring at yourself in the full length mirror doubtfully, wondering whatever possessed you to think that this particular shade of periwinkle blue, is one you could pull off. Before your inner jock can convince you to simply attend the ball in your quidditch robes, muffled voices from the Ravenclaw common room beneath your dormitory alert you to the fact that you’re running late. Most of the other girls have already headed down to the Great Hall, leaving only you and your best friends, most of whom belong to other houses, in the whole of Ravenclaw Tower.
Finally convincing yourself that you look decent enough for the formal occasion at hand, you quickly slip a glittery hair slide into your neatly curled hair, Hoping it will distract people from the fact that you look incredibly uncomfortable.
As you head downstairs to your common room, the previously muffled voices you’d heard a moment ago slowly become more distinct. 
“Does anyone know who Ashton’s date is?” 
Michael’s curious tone carries through the mostly empty space just as you reach the halfway point of the spiralling staircase. 
The mention of the Hogwarts Champion causes your insides to squirm uncomfortably and you have to stop for a moment to compose yourself.  Your last interaction with Ashton Irwin, your long-term friend and the celebrated Gryffindor Quidditch captain, isn’t one that you really want to relive, especially not right now, moments before having to endure this stupid fucking ball. 
“No idea…” Calum replies, his voice suggesting that he’s only mildly interested in the answer anyway. “He hasn’t mentioned any names to me.”
The sound of your second friend’s voice brings a subconscious smile to your face, you notice it in the dark window you’d stopped in front of but you quickly shake it off and continue down the stairs.
“Well, I guess we’ll find out if we ever get downstairs!” Luke huffs, raising his voice for the last few words to express his impatience at having to wait for you. 
“There’s no need to yell, Hemmings.” You scowl, trying to act as casual as possible when you reach the last few steps. 
All three of your friends turn to look at you as you enter the room, each of them with expressions of  varying degrees of shock on their faces. 
Michael seems to be the least affected by your somewhat unusual appearance. His look of mild surprise gives way almost instantly to a cheeky grin. “Wow, didn’t know you could scrub up this well.” He smirks, already turning towards the door, too impatient to tuck into the buffet that is waiting in the Great Hall, no doubt. It makes you smile, his love of food is rivalled only by his love for his friends but seeing as he’s eaten nothing since lunch time, you’re unsurprised that his first love is winning out.
“He’s right!” Luke grins, his pretty blue eyes drifting over your outfit as though he’s struggling to take in the sight of you in an outfit that’s so uncharacteristic for you. “I never thought I’d live to see the day where you wore anything other than your uniform, quidditch robes or those ratty old muggle music t-shirts!”
You want to argue with him and explain for the millionth time that those shirts you love to wear, are meant to have holes in them, but he’ll never understand the concept of distressed clothing, he’s a spoiled little pureblood and that’s not likely to change anytime soon. Besides, how can you focus on a mundane argument with Luke when Calum, AKA the most beautiful boy in existence is staring at you as though he might actually be seeing you as someone other than his quidditch training buddy for the first time ever.
“You look incredible.” The Slytherin gasps, his chocolate brown eyes locking onto yours as a faint smile curls the corners of his lips. He nervously runs his hand over his short hair. His fairly recent buzzcut is rapidly growing out but you’re happy to see that he’s decided to keep it blue for the time being. He’d surprised you with the daring dye job a couple of weeks ago, insisting that he’d tried to turn it green as an outward display of his loyalty to Slytherin, but something had gone wrong and it had turned a shade of blue that shockingly resembles the Ravenclaw colour instead. 
You feel the blood in your cheeks rise to the surface of your skin. He’s never complimented you like that before and your heartbeat quickens at the words. It’s ridiculous, you know that. He’s probably never going to see you as anything more than a friend but there’s a tiny bit of hope left, if the sparkle in his eyes right now is anything to go by.
“You don’t look so bad yourself” you manage to giggle, trying not to let the way Calum is looking at you trick you into thinking that the crush you have on him is in any way reciprocated. He’s probably just shocked that you even own something like this to wear. 
Calum smiles at your half-hearted compliment and gestures towards the door. “We better get going before Michael gets too hangry. I’d rather avoid a repeat of breakfastgate, if we can!”
You laugh at the memory of Michael hexing some unsuspecting third year Slytherins a couple of weeks ago. They’d wrongly assumed that their whole house had already finished breakfast, and tried to take the last remaining pastries. Michael, who’d been delayed getting to the Great Hall due to helping Calum with a homework emergency, had been devoid of patience when he aimed a nasty hex at his fellow Slytherins, that caused all four of their faces to break out in a terrible itchy rash. He’d earned himself a week’s detention for his rash actions, but he still maintains that those pastries were worth it.
“Yeah, if we keep him from food for much longer, he might even start breaking out the unforgivable curses!” Luke huffs dryly.
Calum and Luke continue to tease Michael about his irrational anger when it comes to food, all the way down to the main lobby of the castle. You join in a little bit, but ensure that you stand up for Michael too, after all you’ve never taken too kindly to being kept away from your food either. 
It’s only when your group reaches the entrance to the Great Hall that you all fall silent. The large room has been transformed into nothing short of a winter wonderland. Large, ice sculptures shaped like animals line the two longest walls. Each frozen statue is as intricate as the last and all of them have been charmed to move their limbs or revolve on their individual platforms like giant versions of the ballerinas in those little music boxes your muggle mother used to buy for you when you were a little girl.
The usual Christmas tree that sat in the corner of the room at this time of year, had been decorated particularly extravagantly for this occasion. All of its branches are covered in glittering snow whilst real candles burn prettily in fancy spiralling patterns.
A small stage has replaced the spot where the teachers table is usually situated and it’s occupied by a band playing a song you vaguely recognise from the wizarding radio show that Luke forces you to listen to every Friday night when you hang out in his dorm whilst Michael and Calum attend their gobstones club.
“Wow, look at the floor!” Michael exclaims, gesturing at the exquisite frosty patterns etched into the wooden floorboards. 
“And the roof!” Calum gasps, pointing up at the enchanted ceiling.
You take a moment to admire the wonder on your friend’s face, adoring his soft smile and the way the light reflects in his eyes, before following his gaze to the enchanted ceiling where rows of snowflake shaped fairy lights have been hung beneath the clear starry night sky.
“They’ve really gone all out, haven’t they?”
The familiar voice causes a jolt in your stomach and you curse yourself for letting down your guard so easily and so quickly. You’d hoped to avoid Ashton for much longer than this.
Calum nods in response to the older boy’s question. “It looks so beautiful! I can’t believe they did all this in just one afternoon!”
Ashton doesn’t reply, his hazel eyes move from Calum, to Luke, to Michael before settling on you. His expression is somehow thoughtful and confused all at once. You know what’s going through his mind, though and you can’t allow him to voice it.
“Yeah, it looks amazing.” You interject quickly. “Hey Cal, why don’t you go and get us all a pumpkin juice?”
“Sure.” The blue-haired boy agrees easily. “Do you want one, Ash?” He adds, turning to the Hogwarts champion with a beaming smile.
Ashton shakes his head. “My date’s just gone to get me one, thanks.” He replies, his gaze never drifting from yours.
“Oh yeah, who’d you pick in the end?” Michael questions, his tone inquisitive enough to make him appear interested in the answer. “I bet you had hundreds of offers.”
Luckily, Calum doesn’t hang around for Ashton's response, apparently too eager to get the juice you asked him for.
The raven-haired boy’s eyes never leave yours as he answers. “I chose to bring Arielle Lamer, one of the girls from Beauxbatons.” His gaze drifts over to the long row of buffet tables against one of the walls. “She was my second choice.” He looks back at you, his displaying the same hurt they had done when you’d refused his invitation to the ball a few weeks back. 
“Why did you have to go to your second choice?” Michael asks, his face twisted into a confused expression. “You’re the Hogwarts champion, who in their right mind would have turned you down?”
“Never mind that!” Luke gasps, “why the fuck would she be anyone’s second choice? She’s the hottest girl I’ve ever seen.”
Ashton doesn’t offer a verbal response to either of the confused boys, but his gaze is still locked on you, which unintentionally tells Luke and Michael the truth. 
Your friends stand silently beside you, their mouths agape as they stare between you and Ashton, trying to wrap their heads around the unspoken but incredibly obvious situation.
“I thought you turned me down because you had a better offer.” Ashton frowns, “but it looks like you’ve just come here with our friends, I’m confused…”
Your guilt at having refused Ashton’s offer gnaws away at your insides as your shoulders twitch in a vacant shrug. “I never said there was anyone else, Ash I just…”
“You just didn’t want to come here with me.” Ashton interrupts, the sad realisation in his eyes and voice almost breaking your heart. “I get it.”
“I didn’t think anyone had asked you to the dance.” Calum’s voice is almost too quiet to hear over the music but his shocked tone just about reaches your ears nevertheless. 
You turn to face your secret crush, your heart pounding in your chest. Calum is literally the last person on earth you would want to overhear this conversation. “I never lied to you, Cal… if you’d asked I’d have told you.”
“That’s not the point.” Calum shrugs. “You got asked to the Yule Ball by Ashton fucking Irwin and you turned him down, just to hang out with three dateless losers. Why would you do that?”
The truth almost slips past your lips, but you manage to replace it with a vaguer response before you embarrass yourself even further. “Because I just don’t see Ashton that way.” 
“But he’s the fucking Hogwarts champion and probably the hottest guy in the whole school.” Calum insists, gesturing a little too wildly with his full hands and sloshing pumpkin juice over the floor.
Before Calum can make any more mess, Luke steps forward and takes the drinks from him before shuffling back to his spot next to Michael. 
Despite your initial urge to tell Calum the truth about why you’d refused to come to the dance with Ashton, your anger at his persistence is starting to override it. “Well why didn’t you ask him to the dance if you love him so much?” You counter, trying not to raise your voice too much. 
Calum frowns, glancing over to Ashton for a second before returning his attention to you. “Stop trying to deflect, I’m asking you a simple white question here!”
“I just wanted to come here with you, okay?” You reply snappily, gesturing at Luke and Michael faintly with one hand but never taking your eyes away from Calum’s. You can only hope that your weak attempt at trying to imply that your other friends are included in the ‘you’ that you’d just spat out, was enough.
Calum opens and closes his mouth a few times like he’s trying to speak but his vocal chords are refusing to comply.
Taking advantage of the continued silence from your friends, you continue your reply to Calum’s initial question. “Not that I really owe you an explanation, but; I love Ashton as a friend and the thought of coming here with him as more than that just didn’t feel right.” You turn to Ashton, the guilt that had been laying heavily in your chest since your conversation with him a few weeks ago, finally giving way to a sense of acceptance that you’d done the right thing. “I’m sorry, Ash. You know I never meant to hurt your feelings.”
Ashton nods in recognition of your apology. “I know. I think I understand why you had to say no to me.”
There’s a sickening theory in your mind that Ashton’s realised that you have feelings for Calum. That’s something that you’re just not ready to be proven right about. Knowing that there’s no way to shut Ashton down without inadvertently giving away your own secret, you take the easy option and turn on your heel before making a run for it, heading straight out of the great hall towards the open doors of the castle.
You barely notice the cold night air biting at every inch of the exposed skin on your arms and face as you stumble out of the entrance hall. Stragglers from the visiting schools were still filtering into the castle but most of them spared you nothing but sideways glances before disappearing inside.
Deciding to hide in a quiet corner until you can gather your thoughts properly, you head down the stone steps and drift across one of the front lawns. Luckily the grass is frosty and your high heels don’t sink into it very much.
You haven’t made it very far before a familiar voice yells your name, stopping you in your tracks. Part of you doesn’t really want to turn around but it’s not like you could outrun the Hogwarts champion in these heels anyway. 
“You’ll catch your death out here.” Ashton pants as he jogs to a stop beside you. “It’s freezing!”
Now that you’ve stopped walking and your initial anger is wearing off, you really start to notice the chill in the air and wrap your arms around yourself as an ill attempt to protect the bare skin of your arms from it. “You sound like my grandma.” You huff, your voice already betraying a slight tremor. 
“She sounds like a smart woman.” Ashton shrugs. “I’m sure she’d think you storming out here without a coat on was a stupid idea.”
You let out a defeated huff, sparing a glance at the warm castle, wishing you’d thought to storm back to your dormitory instead. “She would have thought what I said in there was stupid, too!” You reply, dropping your gaze to the frosty grass at your feet. “I should have been more honest with you and…”
“And Calum?” Ashton interjects, his tone solemn but not at all angry like you’d have expected if he ever found out about your feelings for your Slytherin friend. “I think he’s the one you need to talk to the most. At the very least you need to tell him how you feel.”
The very thought of confessing your feelings for Calum to anyone, especially the Slytherin captain himself, sends a stab of fear through your chest. “I can’t do that…”
“If it helps at all, I think he’s been struggling with similar feelings for you for a while.” Ashton admits, his tone hesitant to and cautious. “If I think back, there’s been plenty of signs there that I should have noticed. The way you two act around each other should have tipped me off a long time ago.”
As much as you want to believe that Ashton’s telling you the truth, you can’t really bring yourself to believe that Calum likes you back. In the back of your mind, you think that Ashton must simply just be doing what he thinks is best. 
“I never should have asked you to come to the ball with me.” The raven-haired boy sighs thoughtfully, “regardless of whether I should have seen whatever it is between you and Calum, I’ve always known that you don’t really feel that way for me.”
That guilt in your chest seems to grow even more. You can’t take the sadness in Ashton’s voice anymore. “I’ve always loved you as a friend, Ash. I just…”
“You only have romantic feelings for Calum, I get that.” Ashton smiles glumly, reaching out to stroke your arm in a comforting gesture. “I hope the two of you can work something out.”
“Me too.”
Calum’s voice takes you by surprise for the second time in just a few minutes. Your face automatically snaps towards him as panic starts to flood your brain.
“I’m gonna leave you two to talk things out.” Ashton announces before you can even begin to form any words. He flashes you one last smile and claps Calum on the shoulder reassuringly before heading back the castle.
Part of you wants to follow Ashton, but your legs refuse to move. “Look Cal, I don’t really know what to say to you right now.”
Calum simply stares at you for a moment as though he’s struggling with the same predicament. 
“Maybe we should just head back…”  You shrug, forcing yourself to take a step past him.
You’ve barely taken a second stride before Calum’s strong hand closes gently around your upper arm. “Please don’t take off again.” He pleads. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” You ask, shivering a little at the prolonged physical contact with your crush.
Calum apparently misinterprets your slight trembling and instantly shrugs off the outermost layer of his dress robes and hands it to you. “About how I’ve been a huge wuss for the past year or so…” He suggests timidly.
You silently accept his jacket-equivalent and drape it over your shoulders. The confusion you feel must show on your face because Calum lets out a humourless laugh. “Okay.” He breathes deeply, dripping his gaze to the floor. “God, I hope you’re not gonna hate me after I tell you this…”
“Calum.” You whisper softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m starting to get worried, what is it?”
Sucking in another deep breath, Calum composes himself before summoning the courage to meet your gaze again. “At the very start of our fifth year, you waited for me on platform 9 ¾ so that we could sit together on the train, remember? Just like you always have done, since our second year.”
You nod, the memory of the bright September morning still clear in your mind, although you have no idea of its significance to Calum’s story. 
“You were wearing those tight jeans and an oversized t-shirt. Your hair was scraped back into a loose bun and your face was twisted into an anxious expression because I was a bit late and you were worried that there wouldn’t be any empty compartments left for us.” Calum explains, a slightly dreamy expression on his face. “Just as you caught sight of me trying to work my way through the crowd towards you, some clumsy seventh year knocked into you. One of your suitcases toppled off your luggage trolley and burst open, a bunch of your books and stuff spilled all over the ground and you looked so fucking pissed off…” he chuckles, subconsciously reaching for hand as he continues. “I know it sounds weird but, that’s the moment that I knew I loved you. The way your cheeks went all flushed when you grumpily threw all your shit back into your suitcase and muttered about how much you wanted to push that dickhead onto the train tracks. Like, I’d had feelings for you before that, but I’d put it down to a silly crush because you're one of my closest friends and we have so much in common. In that moment, though, I just fucking knew that you had my entire heart.”
Your brain struggles to process everything that Calum has just told you as he runs his fingers down your arm in order to wrap them around your hand. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about this sooner and I completely understand if you think I’m weird and creepy and don’t want to be my friend anymore…” Calum rambles.
“You were sitting at the Slytherin table, eating jam on toast, laughing at something Michael had just told you.” The words spill from your mouth almost of their own accord. “It was the morning of your first quidditch game as the Slytherin seeker, so you were a bit nervous. I could tell because your smile didn’t reach your eyes and you only nibbled at your toast. That’s the moment that I knew I loved you as more than a friend.”
A shocked expression colours Calum’s face in the seconds before he gasps out his response. “But that was like… four years ago.”
You can feel the blood rising to the surface of your cheeks as you nod, dropping your gaze to try and hide your embarrassment. Before you’ve recovered enough to meet his gaze again, soft fingers rise to cup your face tenderly and you automatically lean into the touch. 
“How the hell did we both miss each other’s feelings like that?” Calum asks, a sigh escaping him as his lips brush your forehead. “I’m sorry I was so oblivious and that I was too scared to tell you about my own.”
Savouring the softness of Calum’s lips on your head, you wrap your arms around his waist, curling into his strong, warm body.
“Shit, sweetheart, you’re trembling.” The Slytherin whispers winding his arms around you to keep you close to him. “Let’s get inside so we can talk more without the fear of freezing to death, yeah?”
As much as you want to take Calum up on his offer before you become an icicle, the thought of breaking away from the hold he has on you is the last thing on earth you’re contemplating at the moment and you tighten your hold on him to express your utter reluctance to let him go.
Calum giggles, stroking your back soothingly before pulling away a little. “I promise I’ll cuddle you as you much as you want once we’re inside.”
The slight shiver that runs through the Slytherin, helps your rational side to win out. “Fine…” You pout, “but you’d better deliver on that promise when we get back to the castle.”
You allow Calum to lead you back across the lawn and up the stone steps to the front doors of the castle. The fact that he keeps one arm around you the whole time, makes your heart flutter in your chest, making you feel very much like a lovesick little puppy.
Just as you enter the warmth of the entrance hall, Calum takes your hand and instead of leading you into the great hall like you’re expecting him to, he guides you to the bottom of the staircase instead.
A confused expression takes over your face before he takes your hands and swallows thickly as though he’s trying to voice something that is incredibly difficult for him to say.
In an attempt to comfort him, you cradle his cheek gently, just as he’d held yours a few moments ago outside. “Is everything okay, Cal?”
Nodding, Calum reaches up to press your hand harder against his face as he meets your gaze. “I just wanted to ask you something before we go back to our friends.” He explains, a light blush rising in his cheeks. “But I’m worried it’s gonna sound stupid now that we’re already here and…”
“You can ask me anything, Cal.” You reassure him.
Before he responds he pulls his wand from his dress robes, pointing it at the ground near your feet and quietly utters a spell. A moment later, a beautiful exotic blue flower sprouts from the floor. Calum leans down to pick it up before handing it to you. “Will you go to the dance with me, like as my date?” He asks nervously
A giant smile bursts across your face as you take the flower and slide it into your hair. “One one condition.” You smirk cheekily, a sudden burst of confidence extinguishing the last of your lingering doubt about how Calum feels about you.
Your date raises a questioning eyebrow, silently urging you to elaborate.
“Well I’m a strong believer in that whole, ‘try before you buy’ thing.” You chuckle when Calum still appears to be utterly confused. “I need to know if you're a good kisser before I agree to be your date to the Yule Ball, Calum.” You clarify, hoping that you’re not going to scare him off by coming on too strong.
Calum mirrors your delighted grin before pulling you closer to him again. His beautiful brown eyes are sparkling joyfully as he allows them to drift down to your lips. He takes a moment to build up the confidence, but when he finally leans forward and kisses you, it’s more than worth the wait. His lips are soft and he kisses with a tenderness that you weren’t sure he was capable of. All-in-all, you’re incredibly impressed and you cling onto the tail end of the kiss for as long as possible before answering your date’s silent question when he meets your gaze again. “That wasn’t bad at all, Hood. If you dance half as well as that, I think tonight will be the perfect first date!”
Tag list: @cherrycolamike @byxthexway @afuckingunicornn @painkillerash @moonchildsblack @calumbbyyy @h0tsos @loveroflrh @sexgodashton @megz1985 @myfalsedevotion @aulxna @honeyedlashton @tea4sykes @ghostofmashton @fairyintheglass @cashworthy @cashtonasfuck @opheliaaurora23 @5sosnsfw @wildmichaelflower @wildfl0wer-meg @irwinkitten @cxddlyash @wildmalumflower @cashtonasff5sos @iovehemmings @lowpowermodex @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles​ @celticclifford @5-secondsofcolor @queer-5sos @babylon-corgis
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maskedjoker · 4 years ago
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We are getting really close to the scene in lost fragment of snow that was genuinely confusing in the book, and it's the scene were everyone in the circus is killed. I think what we will probably get is a scene were mana finally ends up giving into despair after he is hit and then allen is fed to a lion.
I think that with more current info, i can say for sure that sleeve earl and mana are a hybird. This will likely cause a resurgence of sleeve earl into taking over the body and becoming whole. This only lasts for a short time however and when cross confronts him after the rest of the circus has died from the audience turning into akuma(which i suppose are implied to be constantly just around the earl and is probably one of the many reasons cross warned Allen to stay away) some exchange of words or damage causes a lots of control. This damage however also hurts mana(or potentially just being forced out off control) causing him to loose even more memories as seen when mana and Allen reunite the next day.
Now i think we can agree that sleeve earl exists as a third entity, especially since her recent art exhibit interview, as she talked about the suit being a super sophisticated golem. I think in this case as with tim and lero yhat "golem" refers to AI. Id argue with the weird phrasing like helix of life and all the biotech style that magic is more often than not just more advanced technology, and wherever the noahs came from likely was, hence why they say they only seem strong because we have become so weak. This is only further shown with innocences resemblance to machines like its gear like parts and percentage resonance.
The noah memories in general i think are some kind of AI that passes through generation lines, carrying significant portions of its past forward and then fusing with a similar person in their lineage. For example early on road would have been just road, then through some means either became an AI(or was given a piece of someone that counts as one under golem, its unclear). Regardless once connected to the noah memory, it acts like a save file and becomes more sophisticated with time. It carries each life and gives all those memories, feelings and drives to a new body. So new road would remember being road, her life and everything, but also the life they had been living up until the two combined. Over time the noah memory keeps getting larger and larger to the point new experiences are so small, relatively speaking, that it overrides much more than normal. Since they are fuzed as one being they likely cant be separated without mutually assured destruction, were the current entity will die and any remains will not be the origionals, if anything remains at all. An example of this is that tyki could not be made human by Allen I their fight i the arc, despite having a blade that should destroy only part of him. Admittedly tyki is a special case though, and more tyki backstory is needed.
Changes from body to body become more subtle, but the base, which likely has a distinct core function as seen by its response to certain tasks and ideas, remains a strong aspect. This creates an almost reincarnation like effect for them, needing to only find a new body to continue.
The suit is like this, but different. I don't know how the original earl split, but i do think that some aspect of him was placed on the suit. I would like to say its the original version of the noah memories of the earl and nea got like a brand new copy, but i actually have no idea what memories he has of being past earl so its mostly a guess. Regardless the noah actually all seem to transform in some way when they get mega pissed. Im looking at you skinn, jasdevi, and tyki/joyd. So the suit is likely that kind of thing, but way more distinct and capable of acting autonomously. Since they all have different forms it makes sense that his would also be unique. They all probably represent some inner desire related to their memory. Skinn is just rage so big angry man works fine. Jasdero and devit are bonds so they want most to be one. Tyki got all fucked up before he changed so i got nothing, but it had a heavy does of sadism, which I guess is pleasure? Taking into account that killing in horrible graphic ways is his guilty pleasure it kinda makes sense.
So because of that, this sentient AI is constantly trying to pair with half a fucking brain because nea and mana only share one brain cell. Some kind of resistance from mana or strain causes him to constantly fall ill or comatose. Now to be clear on naming, sleeve earl does not refer to themselves as adam in the mirror scene nor does he refer to mana as adam, and only uses "we" when talking to mana about being the earl. Oddly enough the earls self pronouns are we, using wagashi which is kind of like the japanese equivalent of the royal we used in europe for the entirety of the series. For the record, mana in the flashbacks uses male or single they pronouns, i don't remember if he uses boku or watashi, but he uses at least one if not both.
So from this it seems millennium earl is a title, used by whatever is paired with the suit. Adam is the original name of the noah, and is the preferred name of the current earl aside from the title.
This circumstance was likely caused by the rest of the noah, who are using the earl for something related by the pillar. His separation either by accident or by intent was likely by the hands of his family trying to keep control for their ends. This is why the current earl is called a broken puppet and has so many things around him related to acting and stage plays. He is playing a role, the red clown to allens white clown as stated in the ark arc. He even wears a mask. His memories and mind have been damaged though, therefore broken. However broken puppet for both allen and the earl could also refer to a puppet that doesnt work as a double meaning, implying they can no longer be controlled or puppeted.
It is also implied that he is still unaware of this betrayal, but it is likely nea does to some degree as it would explain why he became a traitor and killed his own family. To be clear, i dont think all of the noah know everything, and i dont think they dont actually care for the earl. It seems they still genuinely follow him to their death and see him as one of their own, especially in cases like road, tyki and wisely.
Now early i said that different generations of noah would cope woth reincarnating differently. Since the earl only died once before 7000 years ago, id say resetting to a new body with only 17 years would be just smashed flat by any algorithm with that much data. However manas feelings are still the newest, and so still have an impact even on the current earl.
Now we come to resurrecting mana. How? Why? Well i dont know. But my guess is whatever part was the memories of mana for the 20 or so years he lived, or at least his memories at death, are in allen. His curse and weird hallucinations of mana seem to suggest it. Alternatively that part of his soul may have passed on, or it fuzed with the noah memory making the origional mana part of the hive and much like tyki and his noah memories cannot be seperated. Not good regardless.
As two additional things, i want to mention that hoshino is a twin and has always been obsessed with it, so having twins in her book was inevitable. What is extra weird is hoshino was actually going to be a triplet, but either her or her sister absorbed it before birth. She has mentioned it in dgm interviews and i cant PROVE it translates to anything in the plot but its suspicious. She also still list mana, nea and the earl as distinct in every book up to date in extra novels and at the start of her books. Oh and her favorite hat for the earl right now? The one featured on the most recent chapter? Has two faces on the front that are visible, and one in the back thats hidden, and the most recent art has the back face as the only one visible, angrily staring allen down. Great art foreshadowing if im right. Its also usually sleeve earl, if not exclusively, that wear it.
The second thing is mana talking about love and drive in the most recent chapter just brings up the earl having the noah memory of love or devotion or something for me. Ive written about it before but it just seems to fit. This character is all about that from the ability to fuze loved ones together to the hearts he talks with and his drives being based on grand acts of devotion, being by their side etc. Mana also loved and adopted both and dog and a homeless child and keeps talking about how the world is so beautiful despite all the bad. The earl literally acts like the whole noah clans mom by his own words and cooks for them, and both of them go out of their way to be cartoony to break tension. The earl literally goes and buys a single red rose from a poor girl while tyki pontificate on how he doesnt act like a villain. He doesnt take an umbrella because he wants to feel the rain. He talks about how what he does is in human nature and requires a connection between two people. He is even designed with his ideal colors as red and purple with white, as well as being designed after flowers. I know this probably doesnt make sense, but its stuck in my head.
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doctormage · 4 years ago
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ok as promised here's my whole thedosian astrology spiral in one big post
underneath a read more bc i love you all
starting w my tags from the first post bc context:
#bc i saw a post that put the zodiac seasons (for thedas) roughly from the 20th of one month to the 20th of the next #like it is irl #but the zodiac seasons coincide w the actual seasons #the start of aries season is the vernal equinox #the start of cancer season is the summer solstice #the start of libra season is the autumnal equinox #the start of capricorn season is the winter solstice #and (to my knowledge??) the seasons in thedas start with their annum holidays or whatever #wintersend = beginning of spring #summerday = beginning of summer #all souls day = beginning of fall #satinalia = beginning of winter #(someone PLEASE correct me if im wrong on that) #well i know summerday and satinalia are right but #ANYWAY #using that logic the zodiac seasons would also start on those days #thedas-aries season would run from the 1st to the 30th of guardian #thedas-taurus would be 1-30 drakonis #thedas-gemini would be 1-30 cloudreach #so that thedas-cancer aka the start of summer aka summerday aka THE FIRST OF BLOOMINGTIDE #kSLFdfslkdFDKs #anyway. now i have to be Right about this#my previous hyperfixation and my current one.....coming together....to make me into a Massive Bitch<3
when would the zodiac signs' seasons take place in the thedosian calendar?
so bc the zodiac signs are based on constellations and all the lore etc that accompanies them i'm not even gonna touch that (YET.....yet...) but since spring, summer, autumn, and winter start on the first days of guardian, bloomingtide, august, and firstfall, respectively, so would those particular seasons of the zodiac
thedas-equivalent-of-aries season would just be 1-30 guardian, bc irl the beginning of aries season coincides with the beginning of spring and continues until the sun moves into taurus; all the cardinal signs (aries, cancer, libra, capricorn) begin on the first of the season like that, so we can assume that – IF there are 12 zodiac signs in thedas – the sun is in each sign for approximately a month. so that in 3 months the next cardinal sign can coincide w the beginning of that season
imo it makes sense that (if we're assuming thedas also has 12 signs and that their sun spends roughly equal time in all of them) four of them would coincide w the beginning of the seasons. so like yeah thedas is fake and for all we know they have 10 zodiac signs and they all start on wildly different days, but then everything is just shooting in the dark and where's the fun in that. obviously the changing of the seasons is important to them bc their holidays center around them, therefore i don't think it's wildly out of the blue to think that whatever star sign system they have going on would similarly coincide w the changing seasons
again i'm not currently bothering with picking constellations/symbols/stories/traits/etc for each sign so i'll just say first, second, third etc. point being the seasons of the zodiac would actually be like they are below, rather than how they are irl (aka the 20th-ish of each month to the 20th-ish of the next; it's like that irl bc our calendar is stupid and the beginning of the seasons randomly happens 2/3 of the way thru the month):
first sign = begins spring, 1-30 guardian
second sign ≈ 1-30 drakonis
third sign ≈ 1-30 cloudreach
fourth sign = begins summer, 1-30 bloomingtide
fifth sign ≈ 1-30 justinian
sixth sign ≈ 1-30 solace
seventh sign = begins autumn, 1-30 august
eighth sign ≈ 1-30 kingsway
ninth sign ≈ 1-30 harvestmere
tenth sign = begins winter, 1-30 firstfall
eleventh sign ≈ 1-30 haring
twelfth sign ≈ 1-30 wintermarch
okay so we have cardinal signs, what about fixed and mutable signs?
the cardinal signs are CALLED the cardinal signs bc they begin the seasons; they're the ~get up and goers~ of the zodiac, motivated, leaders, trail blazers, energetic, etc. they litchrally bring in the changes of the season so that makes sense right
so IF we are to continue w that logic — and here's where i'm getting (even more) conjecture-y, but i feel p confident that since 4 of the 5 major holidays in thedas are based on the changing seasons aka thats important — then the traits of the thedas-equivalent of those signs would also have similarities to the irl cardinal signs (namely the traits listed above)
but there are also FIXED signs and MUTABLE signs: so called bc fixed signs are firmly planted in the middle of each season (taurus in spring, leo in summer, scorpio in autumn, aquarius in winter) and bc mutable signs precede the major change from one season to the next (gemini from spring to summer, virgo from summer to autumn, sagittarius from autumn to winter, pisces from winter-to-spring)
and again bc these are based on the seasons, it also makes sense to me that, generally speaking, the signs in the middle and at the end of the seasons would also be distinct in some way. and probably have similarities to irl fixed and mutable signs, tho i'm not as obstinate about that as i am abt the cardinal signs. but anyway MOVING ON
[the one section with the fan-made sky map ended up being relatively useless even tho the sky map was in fact very cool]
general disclaimer that at this point i’m literally just. straight up guessing lmao
also since we only have so many constellations we see in-game, and since they each come with a codex giving us at least a little background info (aka CRUMBS), any suggestions of which constellations are part of the zodiac are based on those specifically. obviously in real life theres a bazillion constellations that aren’t part of the zodiac, but we do not have the luxury of knowing every constellation in thedas so i am going with what we got
the thedosian constellation map (the canon one) is different than the fan-made sky map, but because i highly doubt anyone at bioware could’ve predicted someone would be As Insane As I Am Being Right Now about it, i don’t think they probably put a lot of thought into making it lmao. the fan made sky map DID have thought put into it tho, and it actually features the constellations we see in-game, so i’m going w that one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
AND. i’m gonna look at the names of the months (both the fancy ancient tevinter names and the ~low/common~ names) in comparison w the constellations we have at our disposal bc why the fuck wouldn’t they be related in some way. this has no basis in any deeper logic than “maybe the fact that the ‘common’ name for this month is drakonis has somethinng to do with the constellation draconis idfk” but like. it’s literally the same name but with one letter (that makes the same sound) changed. i don’t think i’m asking too much here lmao
signs that start the seasons
wintersend is canonically associated with the old god urthemiel; the codex entry for the constellation bellitanus states it (is believed that it) was originally associated with urthemiel. using the same reasoning as with satinalis/satinalia, i’m gonna assume that bellitanus-as-a-zodiac-season would start with wintersend and last through the whole of guardian
summerday was once called andoralis, dedicated to the old god andoral; the codex entry for the constellation servani states it is thought to be representative of andoral, but where the wiki says andoral is the god of unity, the codex says andoral was the god of slaves. (doesn’t clarify if andoral is like, a figure to which the enslaved would turn to in their plight, as like a savior? or whether andoral is...just associated with slaves in some way.) i have no idea what the fuck to do w that except assume bioware is back on their bullshit! i’m gonna come back to this later
all soul’s day was once funalis, dedicated to dumat, old god of silence; the codex entry for the constellation silentir (which literally means ‘silence’ lmao) is usually said to represent dumat. so by this logic we might say the zodiac season for silentir begins with all soul’s day and ends with the last day of august
the constellation satinalis is canonically associated with satinalia, so it makes sense to me that if satinalis is part of the zodiac, its season would start with satinalia / last through the month in which the holiday takes place. aka firstfall
with these in mind, we have (tentatively) 3 of our 4 cardinal signs aka the signs that begin the seasons: bellitanus for spring, silentir for autumn, and satinalis for winter
looking at the fan-made sky map, these aren’t super evenly spaced apart (but then again neither are irl constellations perfectly proportioned so whatever!) HOWEVER. they do still, at least vaguely 😭, follow a clockwise pattern in the correct order of guardian/spring → summerday/bloomingtide → all soul’s day/august → satinalia/firstfall. it’s about the small victories ok *inquisitor ameridan voice* take moments of happiness where you find them or whatever
what about the other 8 signs???
great question!!! haha!!!
✨I Am Once Again About To Start Guessing Wildly✨
because even tho the “cardinal signs” go clockwise and in order, there’s still an uneven amount of constellations BETWEEN them. there should be 2 between each but, for example, silentir and satinalis only have tenebrium between them. and there are fucking....TEN constellations between satinalis and bellitanus so we’re going to have to get even more creative somehow<3 lmao these are all taken from the codex entries for the constellations (the names are links!)
TOTH: tevinter old god of fire, thats p much it. the codex does say sometimes toth is depicted as a “flaming orb” which maybe i truly have succumbed to the brain worms but i hear ‘orb’ and ‘god’ and ‘flame’ (aka light/energy/etc or perhaps idk a fucking explosion) and yall already know where my dumb ass is going w that 🥴
since the rules are made up and the points dont matter, i have decided Fuck Bioware, toth is going with summerday now. i dont give a rats ass about andoral since apparently they dont care to tell us what he was actually god of, so welcome toth you are now in charge of the beginning of summer bc i said so
TENEBRIUM: associated with lusacan, tevinter old god of darkess/night. also obvious associations with falon’din, elven god of death, whose sacred animal is an owl
pea brain analysis: its dark in winter lol; slightly larger, maybe lima-bean-sized brain analysis: the beginning of a new year (aka first day aka first of wintermarch) could hypothetically be associated w the past ‘dying.’ and also the holiday was originally an annual check to make sure everyone was alive, so i don’t see why gods of death can’t be associated w making sure all your loved ones weren’t taken by said god of death lol
ELUVIA: commonly called “sacrifice,” it’s (apparently) based on an orlesian tale in which a woman is saved from a “””lustful mage””” (i love bioware i love this frachise) by being placed in the sky and becoming a constellation. before this inspiring tale that is definitely not anti mage propaganda, eluvia may have represented razikale, tevinter old god of mystery. the imagery of this constellation is a seated woman with a cloud right above her - literally like her head is in the clouds (also bc it sounds like ‘eluvian’ i’m like 👀)
i’m inclined to pair this one up with cloudreach both bc the ancient tevinter name is “eluviesta” and bc the woman in the story is literally. in the clouds. simple enough
PERAQUIALUS: it’s a boat! but apparently a “primitive vessel” sailed by ancient peoples like the neromenians. according to the codex the translation is usually ‘across the sea’ rather than ‘boat’ but that doesnt rly help me lol
sorry my beloved. before me stand 10 beautiful constellations but i only have 9 pictures in my hands. you are not thedas’s next top zodiac sign
DRACONIS: obviously its a dragon lol
i think the drakonis (the month) / draconis (this constellation) correlation is. pretty evident lmao and since we have all but thrown credible hypothesizing out the window, why NOT?? why not make drakonis the season of draconis!!! 🤡
FERVENIAL: an oak; some believe it could be representative of andruil, elven goddess of the hunt, as the vir tanadhal (“way of the three trees”) is her whole thing
sigh idk *spins wheel* leaves start changing color in mid-late autumn so *spins wheel again* fervenial can go with harvestmere which is thedas-october it’s fine
JUDEX: a big ol sword, sometimes called the “sword of mercy,” referring to pre-andrastian concepts of justice in ancient tevinter
speaking of pulling ideas right out of my ass, if this constellation is associated w justice it makes sense to me that its season would be in the month of justinian. bc again why the fuck not!
EQUINOR: the stallion / a horse, sometimes depicted as a seated griffon. some speculate the original imagery was a halla, linking the constellation to the elven god ghilan’nain aka “mother of the halla”
i am really grasping at straws here HAHA but the word haring (as a gerund/present participle of the verb ‘hare’) can mean to run or go with great speed. horses go fast, ghilan’nain is invoked when elves want to travel quickly, blah blah blah. whatever
SOLIUM: the sun; one interpretation is that it indicates an ancient fascination with ALL objects in the sky (aka both the sun and moon[s]), another interpretation associates it with the elven god elgar’nan, aka “eldest of the sun”
alright i know the name ‘solas’ means pride in elvhen and the word ‘solace’ means like comfort/consolation, neither of which have jack shit to do with the sun, so i shouldn’t assume solis is associated with solium exclusively bc they start with ‘sol’ and sol means sun in...a lot of irl languages lol HOWEVER. i have an even worse reasoning we can fall back on which is that it’s in summer and it’s...fucking sunny??? LMAO im so sorry
FENRIR: the white wolf 👁👄👁 scholars apparently dont know wtf to do w this one; obviously there is a case to be made about its association with fen’harel
i have talked myself in circles on this one but whenever i try to type it out it makes Zero Fucking Sense lmao so. i may come back and edit this but for now just know it’s going with kingsway and i want yall to know i do have some stupid nebulous reasoning for that in my silly little brain but communicating it is simply not in the cards for me today god bless 🙏
alright so what bullshit have you proposed at the end of all this EXTREMELY shaky guesswork, queen?
HERE YOU GO I GUESS
Bellitanus: begins spring, 1-30 Guardian
Draconis: 1-30 Drakonis
Eluvia: 1-30 Cloudreach
Toth: begins summer, 1-30 Bloomingtide
Judex: 1-30 Justinian
Solium: 1-30 Solace
Silentir: begins autumn, 1-30 August
Fenrir: 1-30 Kingsway
Fervenial: 1-30 Harvestmere
Satinalis: begins winter, 1-30 Firstfall
Equinor: 1-30 Haring
Tenebrium: 1-30 Wintermarch
next time i have a death wish i will come back and speculate what kind of traits would be associated w these signs (based on the ~lore~ surrounding the constellations, their tentative places as cardinal/fixed/mutable, etc) but i just wasted precious hours of my life on this and i cant look at it anymore!!!
also want to reiterate that, regarding the post i saw earlier that i disagreed with, my refutation of that argument ended like 2 reblogs many sections ago lol. the only thing i feel confident defending is that the different seasons of the zodiac would – based on the actual changing 4 seasons – start on the first of each month and end on the last day of each month, as opposed to the way it is in real life western astrology
all this other bullshit is just for fun (??? i guess????) and based ALMOST entirely on my own assumptions. informed by actual shit from the games ofc but mainly me just
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EDIT: would like to add that i don't have world of thedas or any other supplementary shit; all i have at my disposal is the 3 games, their DLCs, and the wiki lol. so if there's anything here that WOT (or smth else) contradicts please lmk! and also sorry for any typos lmao
hope yall enjoyed witnessing this fully unhinged moment w me bye<3
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storysofmyown · 5 years ago
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Obey me! Scarred, Chapt. 6
Plot: It’s time for the next step in Diavolo’s plan to unify the  realms. But, in order to work, the demons would be subjected to confront  their worst fears, and in some cases, who they are.
Trigger warning:  Manipulation, Panic attack...I’m not sure if it qualifies as such, implied suicidal thoughts.
Word count: 2980
“Yes Lucifer, Beel said he would be joining me later.” Levi was waiting in a crowded room for a game he wanted to buy. It was a ridiculously crowded, Levi would have been waiting since last night, but Lucifer had forbidden him, and the only reason he had been able to even go and get a copy was because Beel offered to accompany him after his practice ended. Still, Lucifer was not all that happy with that idea and would not stop calling or texting him.
 “I still think this is a bad idea. Maybe I should go with you.” The man’s voice sounded worried trough the phone, Levi rolled his eyes.
 “Lucifer! I already told you I’m fine. I’m kind of an expert hiding from the public. There is no need for you to cut your meeting with Lord Diavolo short.” The older demon sighed from the other side of the line. “Besides, I’ve been waiting for this game for like, a year. I’m not going to let it sell out without me getting a copy.”
 “Fine, fine! But if Beelzebulb is not there in two hours, I want you to get home. I do not care if you were able to get a copy of the game, understood?” Levi nodded, forgetting he was speaking through a phone and that Lucifer could not see him.
 “Yes, gotta go now. They are selling merch!! And I already lost my opportunity to get the ultra-rare items, I won’t let that same fate fall upon me with the rare items.” Before his brother had an opportunity to answer Leviathan hanged up, walking around the few tables they had placed around. He held into his number tightly, making sure not to lose it, if he lost it, then he wouldn’t have proof that he had been waiting for the game and someone else would take his place.
 There were hundreds of demons in the room, thankfully it was a rather large room, there was enough space for him to walk around freely and not feel that overwhelmed by the amount of people around him. He was looking at some rare figurines, trying to see if he found one which he didn’t own yet. As the minutes flew by, Levi got another call. He was tempted to ignore it but noticed it said Beels name and not Lucifers. Before answering he glanced at the hour, it was half an hour past from the time Beel had said he would show up.
 “Beel?”
 “Levi, I’m on my way. The coach made us stay a bit longer.” Beels voice sounded agitated, like the demon was running. And judging by the ruffling he heard in the background, that was exactly what his brother was doing.
 “LOL, it’s fine. There still a lot of numbers to be called before us. So, no need to get here fast.” Beel was going to say something but another call interrupted him. This time it was Lucifer. “Gotta go, Lucifer is calling… again. I promise I will get you something to eat once you get here.” Beel didn’t respond, and that was fine since Levi needed to take the other call.
 “Do you have the game?”, Levi groaned. “I’ll take that as a no. Is Beel with you?”
 “No, the coach made the team stay longer. But he on his way is.” Levi heard Lucifer sigh at the other side of the line. Even he knew Lucifer was massaging his temples and Levi couldn’t even see him right now.
 “Once he gets there, you tell him to call me, okay?” Leviathan rolled his eyes for the hundred time today. He was getting exasperated at this and just wanted his damn video game so he could stay in his room and not come out until, like, two months, by that time he would have completed the game in its entirety.
 “Yes, I’ll tell him about it.” After a few more exchanges and Lucifer making Levi promise again to be back in an hour or so if he didn’t get the game, Levi was finally able to look around in peace for a couple of minutes.
  After buying another piece of merch, Levi turned around, and noticed something odd. The people in the room had been making the same five moments they had been making for a while now. Going forward and then backwards, the room had fallen into silence, which was then replaced with people saying the same things over and over again, the voices incredibly laud and merging until all Leviathan could make out of the incredible loud noise was his own name. The movements of their hands and facial expressions gave the sensation of them being robots or something. He realized that no number had been called in for a while now.
 “Are they…stuck on a loop?” Levis anxiety began raising, burning in his chest and he felt himself starting to shake lightly.
 “Took you long enough to realize it.” Leviathan snapped out of his anxiety for a second, head moving at the direction of the voice, which belonged to his father.
 “Dad?” Levi realized how he had called God, and immediately felt regret at such a level it made him wince.
 “I would appreciate it if you would refrain from referring to me as such.” Leviathan starred at his father trough his bangs. “I dread the idea of being related to any of you. Especially,” God made a point to stop in his tracks and stare directly at Leviathan, glancing up and down at him. What Levi could describe as a disgusted look appeared on Gods face as their eyes meet once again, “someone like you.”
 That sent goosebumps throughout Levis body, shaking him to his core. The bag in his hands becoming unbearable to hold on, but he refused to let it fall. They were grounding him somehow. He was scared but that comment made him mad as well. Taking a step forward and making sure his stance was firm, Levi glared to the man, trying to find the courage to respond to his father.
 “H-Hey! Wha-what is that supposed to mean?!” Levi gritted his teeth at the man, whose eyes were focused on the tables and demons that surrounded him. He was avoiding Levis gaze, almost mocking him. It was a way of saying that Levi was not even worth to look at.
 “It means,” God glared at Levi, his eyes full of a hatred that Levi had only seen once before. In the eyes of the same man that stood right in front of him. The people still stuck in an infinite loop around them, chanting Leviathans name like some sort of spell, “that I would rather not be associated with the likes of you.”
 “The likes of me? You mean demons?” Levi asked, still trying to face and maintain his ground around his father, it was hard though. Secretly, Leviathan only hoped that Beel would burst in the room and support him. Though, given the state of the demons in the room, he wondered if perhaps Beel was also stuck on a loop somewhere on his way there. “if you despise demons so much, why even bother with this trip? Why even consider the idea of having our realms united?”
 “My, for someone that spend so much time in literary works and mindless tv shows, one would expect you to read between the lines.” God took a deep sigh, one of his hands placed in the bridge of his nose. “I don’t mean demons Leviathan. In fact, I have found myself quite enjoying the distinct…ehr culture that Lord Diavolo has going around. No, when I say, ‘the likes of you’, I mean cowards.”
 Levi sucked in a breath, he felt heavy and was losing sense of the world around him. Before he could properly hear the last words, people starting chanting his name even lauder, now, Leviathan wasn’t sure if it was God causing it or if it was his own mind blocking and numbing away the world. His vision was blurry, and his heart was pounding. He felt the bag in his hand heavier than before and for a moment he completely forgot where he was, just wishing he could be back in his room under some blankets. Leviathan looked up, trying to locate God but for some reason the man was no longer in front of him.
 “Oh, pardon me. Quite a shock to you being confronted by reality?” Gods voice came from nowhere, yet everywhere. It was an echo in his mind, yet he could feel the vibrations of it on the floor.
 “You can’t talk to me like that! I…im- uhg”, Leviathan groaned shifting his position, looking everywhere trying to find where God was, “I’m one of the highest-ranking demons here. Yo-you shouldn’t talk to me like that. I am the third most powerful demon from my family, and we are all high-ranking demons.” Levi gritted his teeth and clenched his fist. He was sweating and this wave of overwhelming emotion was killing him.
 “I shouldn’t? Oh please, you talk like you have any authority boy. We both know that this status you uphold was misplaced upon you. Please, the third most powerful in your family?” God scoffed, before laughing hysterically, exaggerating and making every second fill with even more tension. “Anyone that can see at all knowns that title is wrongly placed, just look at you.” Levi felt cold wind pass around him, making every hair in his body stand up. “It’s curious. Satan, your nephew, is far younger than you, yet…he is only one position behind you. How does that make you feel?” God cackled as the wind around Levi become colder, the demon wanted to run from the place, but he was frozen, hugging himself to try and provide some sort of grounding feeling, bags forgotten on the floor. Hoping he could open his eyes, and everything would have disappeared.
 “Th-that’s not t-true! I am the general of…of the navy.” Levi spoke, but his voice was less fierce. The fear was evident on the demon’s voice. His mind was a mess. For years he has struggled with the way he is, to the point of trying to change several times, but in the end he wound up disappointed. Disappointed in how everyone saw him as the weakling of the family, disappointed in himself for not being good and disappointed and enraged that he was the way he was, and that no matter how much he tried, he would always go back to his old ways.
 “What low standards must this place have for their soldiers and whatnot.” God was still nowhere to be seen, Levi was shaking, he could not tell if it was from the cold or for the fear he felt in that moment. “It is outstanding the fact that you feel so devoid of valor or care in your family that you need to seek comfort in such things.” For a split-second God appeared beside a table, taking one of the many items in his hand and turning it to dust. Before Levi lost track of him again. “The again, if I was your family, I would also ignore you.” God laughed again. This time, Levi could feel the grin in the man’s face.
 “I know you are trying to get me all worked up. But that won’t work. You can’t…hurt me with stuff I already know.” Levi was aware of how bad that sounded but it was true. All those thoughts and sentiments, those insecurity’s and degrading thoughts were already on his mind, thinking about them constantly. But he lied, those thoughts hurt, even if he did constantly think about them.
 For a moment there was silence in the room. The slow movements of the demons around had stopped completely, the sense of dread Levi was feeling overtook any logical thought his mind could have. He was frenetically trying to find where God was, being prevented by the people around, who did not let him move around the room freely anymore. Levi didn’t know if it was just his eyes, but the room was getting darker. Then, the demons started moving rapidly, this time it wasn’t the same movements as before, these ones were frantic and there was no rhythm to what they were doing. The loop they had been stuck on burst and the had lost control completely.
 The loud noise of demons talking, and walking was becoming too much for Levi, he closed his eyes and put his hand on his ears. Demon form flickering, trying to jump out but he was also trying to stay in control of what was happening. His breathing was accelerated and even the sound of his own heartbeat was annoying him. He could feel the weight of his horns and his tail when they appeared, and the constant shift in the weight on his head was starting to give him a headache, his tail, when it appeared, moved like crazy making him lose his footing and trip various times.
 “Then what about the fact that none of your brothers trust you?” Gods voice was so loud it snapped Levi out of all his thoughts, he turned around to see the face of his father barely a few inches away, making him jump and fall on the floor. “I mean, Lucifer wouldn’t stop calling to “check up on you”, and none of them were really happy with the idea of you coming here alone, the only reason why you were even allowed to come here was because they appointed you a babysitter. And it seems like the babysitter forgot about your existence as well.”
 God laughed dryly, bending to Levis level. Levi had fallen and was looking up at his father, his vision blurry and shaking so much his hands could barely even maintain the weight he put on them. His tears were now more visible than ever, and his breathing had never been more accelerated, didn’t matter how much air he inhaled, it still felt like he was suffocating. Like an invisible hand was choking his. For a moment, Levi glanced at the side and felt himself lose the little balance he had regained, but God put a finger on his forehead. Forcing Leviathan to look at his father, even though he felt like he could pass out at any moment. Leviathan didn’t knew when, but the room was entirely black except for a light that had him and God illuminated, he was feeling weak and at some point he even almost threw up.
 “You are so weak; your family doesn’t even trust you to get out of the house alone. What does that say about you, Leviathan the Third born, admiral of hell’s navy?” Leviathans eyelids felt heavy and his throat was sore, he tried to push his father away, but he was in a state of shock. He felt exposed, demon form fully displayed. “Well I should get going. But you, Leviathan, you buy that game and try to replace your value and the love you don’t deserve and are not getting with entertainment.” God finally stopped holding Levis head up with his finger, and the moment that he did, Leviathan felt himself fall down an endless hole of all the insecurities he had ever felt.
 The only thing that kept him from keeping spiraling down was the pain he felt caused by God stepping in the demons tail. Leviathan closed his eyes and covered his face his hands, trying to breath less hastily, the entire room was on silence, until he heard the echoing booming voice of the door, which then merged into every other sound at the convention. The steps, the voices, the movements, the noise of people paying and the rustling of bags, the noise of plastic and the smell, everything was overwhelming to him. But there was a noise that muted all others. His phone was ringing.
 “Leviathan, you have half an hour more. If you do not-” He had finally managed to pick the phone up, knowing damn well who it was Levi tuned out the voice, before hanging up and finally standing up. Walking lazily and stumbling around until he existed the store he was on. The burst of light made everything worse. He was looking up, still not having entirely processed what had happen, he felt the vibrations of the phone ringing from his pocket and the way the cold wind hit his body, that reminded him of what had happened a few minutes ago. Leviathan hugged himself and focused on his breathing. Who knows how much time he spent like that, all he can tell is that after calming down a little, he heard a voice call him, and upon opening his eyes, he noticed it was Beel, centimeters away from his face, making Leviathan screech and jump, almost falling but his brother prevented the fall.
 “Are you okay?” Asked Beel, in a worried tone, looking at his brothers to make sure he wasn’t wounded or anything. Levi nodded, putting his hands on his pockets. A few seconds passed and Beel noticed the lack of bags from someone whos entire plan was to buy something. “What happen to the game?” Beel asked, thinking that might at least break the silence that settled in.
 “It…was sold out.” Was all Levi said, and started walking towards their home. Beel didn’t want to comment anything, but seeing his brothers in demon form like that, was troubling his mind. Had he been late again? Had his absence caused Levi to go through something? Beel didn’t knew, just like he didn’t know that the moment Levi entered his own room that night, he broke down like never before, feeling so small and scared, he even, for a moment thought, he shouldn’t exist.
So, this was late... on my defense, i do have an excuse- i mean an explanation. I was editing this yesterday, and stopped for a sec to see i got a notification and bam, it was the lessons. Naturally, i stopped everything i was doing and wolfed em down. So yeah, that is the reason why i didn't post this on Monday, I apologize. Next chapter will be up Friday night, that is a promise.
Anyway, i hoped y’all enjoyed this chapter. I was trying to play with Gods powers a little and also playing with his personality, in this one he is much more direct than in others. Reason being that i he feels like Levi is way easier to manipulate, just some harsh truths and you got a broken demon in your hands. But yeah, thank y’all for reading this, and i promise next chapter will be up on time.
Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Chapter four
Chapter five
Chapter seven
Chapter eight
Chapter nine
Chapter ten
Chapter eleven
Chapter twelve
Chapter thirteen
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astro-break · 4 years ago
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Thoughts on the third ep of Hypmic Rhythm Anima (as always, spoilers beware but not only for the anime itself but for future things covered in the Drama CD and the Manga. If you’re an anime only, those are marked with a *)
Right off the bat. Super disappointed that it isn’t a MTC episode. I wanted an MTC episode. :((((
Still got my MTC crumbs this week tho and I think I can hold out until next week which hopefully will give me the MTC episode I so desperately want (Yes, i have a division bias and i’m not afraid to show it)
Jakurai entertaining kids are just so cute. I think its very very precious.
* Also. What kind of doctor is Jakurai anyways? So far we know that he’s a councilor/therapist (helps Doppo w/ his anxiety), a pediatrician (he helped a kid), a family doctor (I think i might be wrong on this one), a surgeon (In the FP vs MTC manga he’s shown preforming surgery), a hitman/assassin (:/ yeah evil line records seems intent on retconning this one), a battle field medic (he’s state to be one during WWIII) and now he’s getting called into the orthopedic (things concerning the musculoskeletal system) and gastroenterology (working w. the digestive system) department, two things that have nothing in common with each other. And I’m sure I’m missing some. There is no way in hell this man can do all that he’s 35 for fucks sake. You’d be old and grey before you could learn and complete the credentials needed to work half of these jobs
Nice to now that theres some hints of jakurai’s past. I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing more of the detective later in the story, esp for Matenrou
Doppo being overworked as usual *sigh*. When will the man ever rest? Never... Though im a bit skeptical as to why one of his co-workers calls him doppo. this is a work environment, usually he’d be called “Kanonzaka” for the least amount of informality. seems sus to me. Though his depiction of his insecurities is nice
I love how his first reaction is to call Hifumi and as him if he’s killed anyone. Peak bromance guys. 
Honestly Doppo’s method of trying to calm down is nice but not at all effective. He has the right mindset of calming down and letting his body breath, but the way he goes about it is... eh. 
Tom and Iris’ argument is hilarious and I really want to see more of them and Rex! Can’t wait to see what happens with these three new characters
Iasdgfjsd;flkasjdflkasdjfkasdlvn ajsdk, MTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
MY BPOYS OH MY GOD RIOU NEVER CHANGE
fsajghasdf i love them asdhfoiksldjfasdfj riou’s food looks so so so so so good omgggggg
Samatoki respecting the fuck outta Jakurai is amazing and I never get tired of their father-child kind of relationship (yes jakurai is a dad to TDD fight me.)
The Riou and Samatoki interactionnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ah my heart!! they know each other so well and play off each others strengths. its so cute and I love how Samatoki knows his teammates well enough to know when to play each of his pieces. He isn’t just some brute who speaks through his fists, but he does use his head too. I think this is one of the reasons why he’s also high up on the Yakuza ladder since he’s not only brawny but also brainy
EAT RIOUS FOOD SAMATOKI
ah yes, Jyuto kneeing a bitch. just what I needed to see on a stressful friday thank you for feeding me
I love MTC, im very happy with the MTC crumbs. Since MTR showed up in BB’s ep last week, i really really hope that next week’s ep will be MTC
There it is. Jakurai’s “Jitsuni Kyoumibukai” line
lolololololol the sound effects for MTR is hilarious. Though please give Doppo a break, man deserves it
Jaku’s hair man. its beautiful
Again, please give Doppo a break, he deserves with the 4 joints that they attacked
They say 3 times, but they attacked 4 places?? Did they not report one of them?
Ahhhhh the DoHifu interaction on the temple grounds is both hilarious and cute. Though I can’t help but feel bad for Doppo
* Huh, Jaku did you get that from your hitman days loll
Oh man host mode. Though I like how Doppo recognizes when Host Mode is  a legitimate shield that Hifumi needs and is willing to give him that shield when he needs it. God I love their dynamic]
wow... yet another female stalker for Hifumi... very original. This is pretty similar to the stalker girl from the manga and CD
Lol callback to when Doppo was in the toilet and trying to calm down. 
pffft the girl is so weird. I can’t stand her or Uwabami. 
The plot is so convoluted holy shit. Is this a drama now? (I’ve never watched any c-dramas or k-dramas so I’m the furthest thing from a voice of authority but this seems like a drama show plot lmao.)
This is just a drama at this point lol. Misunderstandings, plot twists and cheesy shit all over the place. Its a badly written and hilarious drama thats for sure
Someone please write a fic where instead of the hypmic universe, the boys are all in a tv drama show plot and their hijinks bc it would fit perfectly. please
Ah, Doppochin snapped~ He’s very interesting once he gets fired up and thats when I really really like MTR. Don’t get me wrong, I love them normally but its when they get down to it that really makes me squeal in delight
Oh! So i think each character gets their own personalized intro w/ their speakers, not just the leaders. Thats honestly so so so cool. The 3D didn’t get in the way of the sequence and was really flashy and smooth. I love how they show the transformation and reveal of the mic and speaker. Honestly the Anime has so many good takes on thigs that aren’t touched on often in the franchise.
The rap was honestly fire this time around. I love it and have replayed it almost 20 times. According to the ending credits its called Welcome U which is so cute for such a funny and badass song. The strong base beat and imagery were so strong and included a lot of homages to things that really matches both Shinjuku, Matenrou and the lyric’s themes and they’re really small but important details! The humor was on point without sacrificing any of the amazingly cool elements and the three distinct styles of rap were integrated in such a catchy melody!
EG) the verse All Year Round features a quick shot of the four seasons and the things most prominently associated with each season. Spring has cherry blossoms and flower viewing, Summer has festivals, Fall and Winter have food that corresponds to events that happen in those seasons.
Doppo’s line of “The flea counters w/ a bite” is so so so cute bc he’s got a little w at the end and thats jp chatspeak for a laugh and skjdfhsdjfkslad adorable
Hifumi picking up right after and asking if Doppo is okay is just. Goals. And his gratutious english works really well and is super smooth! Very very good
Also the small homage to The Champions with Hifumi’s “Jump around” line and the format where Hifumi takes separate lines than Jaku and Doppo. Its a brilliant way to sneak these references in and they’ve kept that theme going from last episode
Foreshadowing with “We’re the true leader, Matenro!” Nice touch there lol.
Lol of course its attempted murder. Still gotta keep this PG 13 even though theres swearing abound
The ending w/ mimimi..... leaves me kind of torn since i don’t like how it ended but they did provide some nice advice. i guess
lsdf;jsalkdfjsldf Hifumi please you’ve known Doppo for over 25 years, you should know better than anyone what his charm points are. and shouldn’t you be the one who understands Doppo’s appeal? smh
SCREEEEEEE THAT TITLE OF THE NEXT EP. if its an MTC ep i will scream even more bc asudhfsdkjflasd A friend in need is a friend indeed this is just pushing my Poly!MTC agenda isn’t it
Final thoughts:
Please please please let next week be MTC please please please
DoHifu are goals, both romantically and platonically
The rap was fire and I’m going to keep listening to it on repeat. First ep was a bit of a disappointment in terms of CGI and raps but these latest two eps are really picking up the slack! I really hope they continue this for the next two!
JAKURAI WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU PLEASE TELL ME
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not-majestic-bluenicorn · 4 years ago
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The MONSTA X Time-Travel Theory (Originally the MONSTA X Universe Theory)
Hello everyone, and welcome to my new and improved MONSTA X Theory. You read the title right, this was originally called the MONSTA X Universe Theory, but unfortunately it can no longer have that name. I’ll explain why shortly. I posted this theory in February of last year, and since then, a lot of things have changed. My theory really only addressed until before Take 1, so it’s been 4 comebacks and one world tour since then, can you believe it? So yes, quite a few things have changed, and we’ll go over them.
What has changed?
Originally, the theory proposed that everything started in the Tresspass-The Clan timeline, that it was the original timeline and that everything went down from there. However, since Follow: Find You, this is no longer possible, as the Find You MV shows us the origin of Hyungwon’s abilties. Thus, the Tresspass-The Clan theory is now a stand alone. Technically I already wrote a theory on The Clan, although I didn’t address its connection to Tresspass, maybe I’ll do that in a separate “add-on” sort of post. Because of this, it can no longer be called a “Universe Theory”, as MONSTA X is not integrating all of their stories into one very convoluted timeline, but instead they have two separate stories (if later on they connect everything, I’m throwing the towel). That’s the main change, but this change provokes a bit of a butterfly effect, so let’s see how much the theory has changed.
The Story
Phase 1: The First Timeline - The Origin (We Are Here World Tour VCR, Take 1 & Take 2)
I know this is a weird place to start the theory, almost near the end, but it actually makes a lot of sense. These three videos serve a very similar purpose to what Beautiful did for The Clan, they explain the origin of their friendship. Now, things aren’t as dramatic as they’re shown in these three videos (at least I hope so, ‘cause things are gonna get very weird from a plot point of view if they are). The main point of narration is the We Are Here World Tour VCR, from now on abbreviated as WAR because it’s easy to remember like that, and because it fits the theme of the video (watch it here).
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WAR introduces us to seven fine young men who have each committed a sin (two of which aren’t even actual sins, but I understand why they would change those two). Hyungwon and Pride, I.M and Envy, Kihyun and Loneliness, Jooheon and Greed, Wonho and Sloth, Shownu and Wrath, and Minhyuk and Agony. These sins are not actual crimes from a futuristic dystopia (although that would be a cool concept), these are just the personal struggles they are dealing with, the personal backgrounds that consume them.
Hyungwon is a rich kid that believes himself better than everyone. I.M is the local witch (?) who hates the rich kid. Kihyun is probably the only child that was forced by his parents to be perfect. Jooheon and Shownu are a very misguided pair of trouble-makers who’re friends with Wonho, who practices Taekwondo but can’t reach the standard he wants. Minhyuk lost someone important to him.
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In the Special Film and the Previous Film called ‘ARE YOU THERE?’ they explain these personal struggles, how their situations make them fall into those sins, and how they’re looking for someone to save them. This salvation comes in the form of each other. In WAR they further explain their own sins and how being with each other saved them from drowning in them. Alligator represents the sins and them drowning in the swamp of their own despair. Shoot Out is them breaking away from their past and destroying these sins.
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Phase 2: The First Timeline - The Trigger (Find You MV)
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Originally I proposed that Hyungwon got his powers by entering that weird heart at the end of All In and Fighter. I’ve now been proved wrong. After they each overcome their past and become friends, Hyungwon’s family has an accident in which both of his parents die and he comes out badly wounded. After he recovers, he’s now living by himself and taking different medications to deal with the aftermath of the accident. The boys decide they cannot leave their friend like that and temporarily stay at his house.
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While they’re sleeping, Hyungwon wakes up and visits his father’s study. He finds the damaged watch which sends him to an entirely different timeline. This is showcased by him suspended in the water, with images of Dramarama and Destroyer flashing by. There is a scientific theory that proposes that spacetime is actually a superfluid; I won’t go deep on this because I don’t fully understand it, but showing Hyungwon trapped in water is a good analogy to him being trapped in a different spacetime. This is also briefly shown in The Connect World Tour VCR, (from now on addressed as CWT), but we’ll talk about this one in more detail later.
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Wonho wakes up first and notices Hyungwon isn’t there, so he wakes up the others and they try to retrace his steps. Unfortunately, Hyungwon is not part of that timeline anymore, he’s gone for good. This leads us into our second timeline.
Phase 3: The Second Timeline (The Code & The Connect World Tour VCR)
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After Hyungwon jumps into spacetime, he becomes lost. Personally, I think there is a possibility that there were other timelines he visited first until he eventually learned to craft the watches himself, as we see in CWT (watch it here). Maybe he just watched this timeline fail a lot of times before he learned and decided to intervene. Either way, Hyungwon actively tries to reunite all of them by giving them the watches. He succeeds for a moment, but in this timeline there exists an agency that controls Time Travel, who frustrate his plans every single time.
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It is important to know that in this timeline, the boys don’t all know each other and some of them don’t even exist in the same era. They don’t remember Hyungwon either. Personally I think not remembering Hyungwon might be because he removed his existence entirely by disappearing from his original timeline. There cannot be two of him, as that would cause problems, so instead he just completely seizes existing in all possible universes as he moves through them.
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The rest of the boys still exist within the normal spacetime frame though, but they’re lost and ignorant to their true origin. They have forgotten each other and can’t remember yet. However, no matter how hard they try, this timeline is completely doomed because the agency is actively trying to frustrate Hyungwon’s efforts, even if they don’t have something against him specifically. So Hyungwon jumps into the water again, he must continue searching.
Phase 4: The Third Timeline (The Connect: Music Film D & The Connect World Tour VCR)
Destroyer is yet another timeline distinct to Dramarama. We know this because we see different pairings, completely different settings and completely different timelines. The Music Film D is divided in three stages: Part 1 The Code (a very obvious reference, this is already letting us know they’re connected), Part 2 Finding the road, and Part 3 Connected (clear reference to the current album).
D shows us the boys as geniuses, Minhyuk and Shownu are artists, Kihyun and Wonho are science (physics?) prodigies, and Jooheon and IM dominate technology. CWT gives us a bit more insight and shows us something very important: they have begun to remember each other and they have memories from their previous timeline. They want to find the person they were paired with in their first timeline, but more than that, they also have memories of Hyungwon’s intervention, even if they don’t remember him properly (because let’s remember Hyungwon removed himself entirely).
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They know they have to find someone, and so they set out to do it. Through their own methods they all come to the revelation on how to find Hyungwon. Kihyun and Wonho do the math, Jooheon and Changkyun use technology, and I guess Minhyuk and Shownu have a vision which they paint? Not sure on that one to be honest, but they find the train station.
This could either be a real place in which every timeline and universe converge or just a metaphor for them figuring out how to do the same thing Hyungwon does, either explanation works.
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Hyungwon is trapped in this train, which is another analogy, but this time for the (liminal) space between dimensions. He’s tired himself out trying to reunite the others, and this time they must come for him, and they do. They find each other, they remember, and they reunite once again. This time nothing can pull them apart.
Phase 5: Interlude (The Connect: Jealousy & The Connect World Tour VCR)
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Jealousy doesn’t feed the plot itself but helps connect (pun not intended) and put everything else into place. Through different imagery, Jealousy illustrates how the different timelines push them together and then pull them apart, creating different pairings, but that despite this they still share things in common (the paper with numbers, the recorder, the glass of water). Another thing this video does is allude to Jooheon’s death in Dramarama through the use of os symbolism. In one scene, a paper with his symbol is being burned, while in yet another, the chair he’s seen sitting on throughout the video is being burned as well and then falls down to the abyss.
On the other hand, CWT creates a clear and obvious connection between Dramarama and D, revealing to us that they do have memories from other timelines. Another cool thing is that we get to see Hyungwon on the rooftop where they filmed Hero, released back in 2015. It also provides a clearer scene of Hyungwon crafting the watches himself and of him at the top of the Hero building. We can also see the last scene from Jealousy mirrored in the last few seconds of the VCR, which is something worth pointing out.
But, as the VCR says “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. Where did things begin? That’s right, in Find You, so the next step is Follow.
Phase 6: The Third Timeline - Back to the Beginning (Follow)
If Monbebe has a war anthem, it is most definitely Follow, which is an amazing song. Unfortunately, Starship has decided to stop providing explicit story development on their MVs since Jealousy, so Follow doesn’t do much for the story itself. However, I have three important reasons to believe this is where the circle ends: all of the references to time, the quote from CWT,and the very last scene of the MV. Let’s go in order.
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The most obvious reference is them standing on clocks painted on the floor, but that’s not the only one. We get to appreciate a few watches here and there, reminiscent of Hyungwon’s in D and Dramarama, and also see the movement of their shadows as a passage of time. The most important reference though, is the cover of the album. The title, “Follow” is solid and then becomes “liquid” as it moves down. This makes sense when you consider the other two points.
First of all, “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. The beginning of the whole mess is Find You, part of the Follow album, there is no doubt about it, so why is Follow the end? Well, because of the last scene in the MV. I know it’s Shownu standing at the top of the stairs in front of the circle, and while it would be better if it was Hyungwon for the sake of this theory, we’ll just completely ignore that. That circle they’re walking towards is the train. ‘Follow’ in the cover becomes fluid because once they cross that circle or enter that train, they too remove themselves from existence like Hyungwon.
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That’s not the only thing though. In D, Wonho solves the formula for time travel as X=4155102M, he does it again in Alligator and I believe it’s also briefly shown in WAR. Kihyun also travels back to 2015 in Dramarama to save Jooheon, and Hyungwon is standing on Hero’s rooftop, which was released back in 2015. Their debut date is their beginning, and they keep referencing it over and over because they’re trying to go back to the beginning in order to solve everything.
They went from Find You to Dramarama, to Destroyer and now they’re back at the beginning with Follow; they are connected again. They have different faces and personalities because they’re not the same people from the original timeline, but they managed to find each other and transcend spacetime to be together. So now, what happens next?
Phase 7: Moving Forward (FANTASIA X)
Here is where things get a little complicated, both in the story and in real life. With Wonho’s departure from the group (go support his solo debut), we now have an even number, which wouldn’t seem like a big deal if it wasn’t for the FANTASIA X Trailers. In each trailer we see that each one of the members now possesses a device which allows them to control time in one way or another.
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Hyungwon and Shownu have keys, which when used to open anything will allow them to do spacetime travel (I would say only time but, well, I have no way to confirm this right now). Jooheon and I.M have this lighter-watches that when turned on, they allow them to stop time. Kihyun and Minhyuk have another very different set of keys that look like those in old toys or music boxes, which allow them to ‘rewind’ time when used.
Now, them getting powers is expected, since they also removed themselves from the “normal” existence and joined Hyungwon. I assume it is because of the even number that they gave Shownu the same powers as Hyungwon, but it makes it a little weird because Hyungwon has been special all this time. It also doesn’t make much sense that now Hyungwon is using a very different instrument. I want to believe that Wonho is supposed to be in Hyungwon’s place in the teaser, but it’s impossible to tell now.
Even ignoring all of that though, FANTASIA X overall just doesn’t make much sense with the theory. Sure, it’s still time related, which is like the biggest giveaway, but the boys still look lost and like they’re looking for something despite the fact that they already found each other. Maybe the Teasers could be their personal research into spacetime travel and their attempts to find Hyungwon, but I highly doubt so. I think it’ll make more sense after the next comeback or tour, since so far everything seems to come in threes (Dramarama, Destroyer and CWT, Shoot Out and Alligator and WAR, Follow:Find You, FANTASIA X and?).
Conclusions
Despite the fact that we can no longer call it a Universe Theory because it hasn’t been there since the start, I still think it is a story about them, about their struggles and how they’ve grown up. They’re each other’s friends and family, the value of X is their debut date because that is when they came into existence, they are each other’s dreams because they wanted to become artists and they did so by coming together into one group.
A lot of things have happened, but their friendship hasn’t changed. They got each other out of the swamp and helped each other overcome their difficulties in the hardest times. It is uncertain as to where the story will lead us next, in a way, I think this might be the start of a brand new story for MONSTA X. A direct consequence of the story they have carried out since The Code? Maybe, but probably very different and not exactly in the same storyline. It’s hard to know, but I’m excited about what they have in store for us nonetheless.
I hope you liked this theory, and be assured that I’ll add onto it as more things come out and new mysteries are to be solved. If you have any questions you can hit me up on my asks, Twitter (@soft_bluenicorn) or my CuriousCat (@soft_bluenicorn)! I’ll be glad to answer them ^^
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finn-shitposts · 3 years ago
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Just a random l*ki rant so i get the annoyance out my head dont rb lmao
Obviously this post isnt about every loki stan i just keep seeing posts that piss me off so i had to yell. This is a bit generalized but know its probably not aimed at you, its at a small but loud minority of frustrating marvel stans
You know im over it, im done lookin for memes and gifs to rb after each episode cos everyones arguing so much sksksk
Like a solid chunk is alligator memes and pretty gifsets which is nicr but theres just so much twitter flavoured arguing and like opinion based arguements cloaked as morality that i jsut. H.
For me, id be just as happy seeing loki find recognition and self love through sylvie and learn that hes capable of change from mobius then remain platonic them both as Id be seeing him date either or both of them (ot3 usually solves all problems for me). I just enjoy the way the interpersonal bonds are written between them all no matter the flavour of it yknow sksksk?
But people online are calling it disgusting to even ship sylvie and loki for either "heteronormativity cos bisexual ppl that come out on screen should date ppl of the same gender or theyre not really bi after all" (as a bi man. This is just utter bullshit im too tired to get into it) or "i interpret them as siblings so if you ship them youre automaitcally into incest" and im sat here w past trauma regarding that like. Hm. Really bad take just an awful take guys. Like i get that most relationships or bonds are forced into het romances 90% on tv and its frustrating when all you want is a friendship or a siblinf type relationship but like you can express that without sending death threats to the actors and yelling at casual watchers who kinda like the ship. Plus yall gotta stop playing the 'its more moral to ship mobius and loki, cos theyre not siblings' bitch neither are loki and sylvie theyre the same person, not related and also clearly distinct individuals only with similar experienves. You can dislike somethinf and just say you dislike it you dont have to assign a moral righteousness to it.
Also i shipped loki and mobius before i did sylvie and loki, and i love them equally but like. Do you ever get the thing where when you were younger and had gay ships that were massively popular in fandom and it was super fun but then like 4 years later when you actually come out as queer youre like huh, the fanon surrounding that ship was mostly made by straight 15yr old girls that found mlm hot and its not Great. Cos i just get annoyed reading deep analysis posts like "when sylvie is mentioned loki doesnt react he clearly doesnt like her much but when mobius is mentioned here are all his micro reactions and the meanings of it that prove that theyre in love" and like. I get reading into subtext and i get wanting canon gay ships, I mean i fucking put up w supernatural skskksks but this is bordering more on the vibes of like when ppl ship idk like idols/rpf and read way too much into every glance and find any way to dismiss and explain away the actual person theyre dating irl? Or like when you read fanfics where someone clearly hates a female character just cos she gets in the way of their fave gay ship and you just have to sigh like guys. Please.
All this being said, i ship lokius i love mr dilf owen wilson i just get frustrated that people have to shit on one character or relationship to uplift their faves, pls can we not all just get along and be civil i beg this isnt twitter act normal. What am i saying these are marvel stans ,.
Anyway from now im just gonna enjoy loki on my own and sit with my personal thoughts and headcanons without checking tumblr cos yall are acting like twitter and its unbearable, i dont need that in my life. Like I thought itd be fun cos tumblr is usually all about selfcest and poly ships and whatnot but yall are just spewing bad takes lmao
Ill be memeless but ill be much happier not getting pissed off at every third post on the tag, im just gonna ship loki/mobius/sylvie in my own corner and avoid the internet on wednesdays, ✌️
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trickstarbrave · 4 years ago
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i get to make posts abt whatever i want and i like the long form ability tumblr has so im gonna make a post here abt it instead of a 29 tweets long thread abt it on twitter.com’s hellsite even if its a bigger thing there for ppl to yell at me: 
“how can you be NB and a woman? why even bother being aligned? why be more than one category? how do you know this isn’t a common experience with womanhood and it’s just misogyny?” 
there is no one experience of womanhood. this is true. i don’t know if this is a truly common or uncommon experience. i dont know how every woman feels. maybe a great deal binary women feel the same way, and maybe how i feel is entirely different from how women feel. but gender is not just an internal thing but an external thing. it’s, for me, both. no, wearing a dress or feminine clothes doesnt make you a woman and wearing masculine clothes make you a man, but how we live our lives and process our own thoughts is informed by the society and culture around us. all i can do is use that lens i have been given to interpret how i feel.
i dont think i am a binary woman. i use he/him and don’t like she/her or many feminine parts of language used to describe me, which isn’t something i see many binary women do. sure i can use pronouns i dont even like, much like how i can change my name to something i dont like, but im more so in the business of doing things that hurt no one for my own comfort and going from there. still though, not all of my behaviors are not unlike how i think womanhood is. i experience society primarily as someone interpreted as a woman. im okay to a degree with it too. i am subjected to misogyny and sexism. i am a primary target of those. i feel i have a vested interest in women’s rights not just because someone may mistake me for a woman but bc for all intense purposes i kind of am one. i love women and my attraction to women is based on that. i am attracted to other nb ppl with a relation to womanhood. 
for me it means i am partially out of the box. standing with one foot in and one foot out of it into something that isn’t manhood. for a while i assumed if i dont feel 100% like a woman the alternative was manhood. or gender fluidity. or that there is only a handful of experiences you’re allowed with being nonbinary like being entirely third gendered or agender. i relate to womanhood, and sometimes i dont at all. i feel it doesn’t quite fit, a label that applies only half the time and the other half manhood doesn’t apply to me at all either. for women’s issues and women’s spaces there are times i will be heavily involved and present bc they are issues that concern me and have resources i want and need. 
binary society, however, says you’re not allowed to have these varied experiences. you either feel like a woman and use she/her pronouns and look and act a certain way, or you feel like a man, use he/him pronouns, and look and act a different way. that if you don’t your existence is incoherent and irrelevant. it does not account for what each of these parts mean and serve (how pronouns can be very different from presentation or how people can be unable or unwilling to present a certain way), it just says “this is a list of things women do and this is a list of things men do”, and i say “well i do a lot of things on the woman’s list but don’t fill in the checklist entirely”. im on the fringe of womanhood, but orbit it enough that it’s still applicable as a category. 
not everyone will feel like me and reject being a woman and a man entirely, but i reject the idea that there is two distinct boxes that can only be solved by adding a third or fourth box. being nonbinary for me is existing in some level outside of strict boundaries or roles to any degree, and that means you dont have to reject womanhood or manhood to do so. you dont have to reject femininity or masculinity to do so. that some of us will be close enough to the box it might seem like it’s unnecessary to count us as outside it in any way but i say it does matter if we say it does. maybe most people exist outside of these boundaries to varying degrees and it doesn’t impact them, but it impacts me. being nonbinary means you may not be easily understood by other people. just like how bisexuals do not need to have an equal amount of partners who are men and women to be “real”, their bisexuality is important. if a bi woman dates 30 women and 1 man genuinely then she is still bi, not “basically a lesbian”. if a bi man dates 30 women and 1 man, he is not “basically straight”. i am not “basically a woman who should change my pronouns and language”, im woman aligned nb.
nb ppl can also be gay, or lesbian, or bi, or any other complicated sexuality bc they are unaligned and like women or men specifically, or only like nb ppl like them and we dont rly have good words for that ppl recognize. a binary gender system is like binary code, which means youre either a 0 or 1. theres no room for numbers between that, nor numbers outside it. all you can do is break the binary system that no longer servers a good purpose. and that also means we have to think in different ways about sexuality as we know, which was informed by a binary. 
nonbinary isn’t a clear cut thing. it isn’t as easy to understand as manhood and womanhood. our society wasn’t built to explain and understand it so i don’t fault people who dont. but trying to simplify nb identities into something easier to understand for you is wrong. being a woman or man isn’t smth as simplistic as people like to act like it is either. for now this is how i feel and communicate it. im a nb lesbian. i use he/him. pronouns dont determine my gender as unaligned nb ppl can use any pronouns like they as well, and manhood is more complex than simply using 1 set of pronouns. if you think im a man you look silly. if you think i share everything in common with women you look silly. it isnt entirely intuitive or straightforward but i am making due with what i have in a way that doesnt hurt others and isn’t based on bigotry. i dont reject womanhood because of bigotry, i know it exists and i fight against it. i love women and feel im close enough that women can love me too. i feel alienated partially because im a lesbian even, and other lesbians go through this to varying degrees too. 
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reeesea · 4 years ago
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Something Sweet: Part Three
~sweet beginnings~
one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine
pairing: minsung, jisung/minho
warning: mild language 
words: 2.5k ish
summary: sweet beginnings and small apartments, also Seungmin baby shows up 
a/n: Im honestly just proud of myself for posting a third chapter woo!! lemme know if you read and enjoyed <3
also the spacing got wack trying to do the text convos, so hope the bold and non bold isn't too gross to look at. Minho and Jisung
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Minho wakes up to the sun streaming in through the thinly veiled curtains over his window. Thankfully he woke up to a minimal headache in spite of having gone out to the bar and an impromptu concert the night before. Rolling over in his small twin sized bed he reached for his phone to check the time and any potentially important notifications. 
9:26 am 
[ 2 new messages from Rich Boy Han Jisung ]
Minho finds himself smiling at the new messages from the boy that had stumbled upon him last night. 
2:25 am
Youre right I do hear it all the time
but it sounds pretty sweet coming from you ;} 
I'll tell J.One you thought he was amazing
9:28 am
Careful Han, your cockiness is showing
Jisungs’s cocky demeanor does nothing but make him more endearing to the older, but something gave Minho the impression that the boy already knew this. Not expecting a reply from the other this early in the morning, Minho stretched out of bed and made his way out of his small bedroom and quietly to the shared bathroom. Not a small feat in the old apartment shared by him and his roommates. Creaky floorboards, squeaky doors, and over all close proximity to each other makes being quietly courteous in the morning a frequent challenge for the boys. 
The living room at the end of the small hallway was turned into a shared bedroom for Minho's two roommates. Felix’s mattress had gotten a bed frame from some trading website a few months back when he moved in. The makeshift wall of hung shower curtains and a fold out screen gave the boys the illusion of privacy between their respective sides of the room. Even though more times than not, Minho has come home to find the lanky brunette curled up in Felix's bed instead of on his designated couch. 
Climbing over the piles of the boys’ clothes, Minho makes it to the bathroom without disturbing the other two. The two were still passed out from working their night shifts, draped over each other on the freckled boy’s bed. Neither showed signs of awakening any time in the morning hours. Minho showered quickly and changed in order to make his way out of the apartment and on his way to the studio to practice his Saturday away
Minho would have thought that the both of them would have remained in their university dorms for the summer, if they weren’t able to find apartments on their own. But, at some point after he had graduated, he had gained himself plus two of his underclassmen as roommates. He really couldn't complain though, it all made sense as all three of them were a part of the same dance studio, barely a block away, and all had reasons to be saving money. Paying a fraction of rent really helped with all that had to be saved in order to pay for school, studio fees, living, breathing, and most importantly audition fees. 
As the summer had set in, so had the wave of audition opportunities for companies and crews. Felix had mentioned needing to prepare a video audition last week for a few entertainment companies in the area. Hyunjin was busy trying to save up his money to pay for the upcoming semesters at school to graduate like Minho had. 
Entering the practice room and being welcomed by the distinctive scent of a dance studio was enough to bring Minho back to reality. Since graduating, he had been stuck in his thoughts about what to do with his future a lot. His childhood dreams of getting into the prestigious Yellow Wood Dance Academy seemed to slip farther away from him with every passing year. His audition tapes each year during university were almost always sent back, along with a ‘We are sorry to inform you…’
 It’s not like Minho couldn't keep applying, but with every year the rejection stung a little bit more, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to take another blow. No matter how confident Minho acted about his looks, when it came to dancing his ego was glass fragile. His passion for dance sometimes felt like the only thing that kept him standing, but it had been a while since he had felt rewarded for his dedication. Even when his practically broken dream haunted him a little too much, focusing back to his craft really gave him a better grasp on reality. Making his way to the front of the room to plug in his phone to pick music, a new notification popped up. 
[Rich Boy Han Jisung]
10:03am 
dw dw its all fake i assure you, all just a ploy to get you to like me
What you up to on this fineee saturday mornin??
Hmmm wouldnt you like to know 
i only tell boys i like so...
Minho smiled in spite of himself. Even over text the sparkly eyed boy was able to pull out and dust off his genuine smile. It had definitely been a while since Minho had found himself freely smiling, but here comes Han Jisung crash landing into his life, running amuck. After spending a moment debating whether or not just to tell the younger of his activities anyway, he came to the conclusion that mentioning dance would only result in more questions, and Minho really wasn't feeling like spilling his passions and dreams with the other already.
Haha i am only even more motivated now >:D
Dont strain yourself too much with that, 
im just enjoying my saturday before my shift later.
Queuing up some music Minho migrated to the middle of the room to casually freestyle and warm up for the day. Allowing the music to flood his ears, movements to take over his limbs, and only his feet to remind him of where he was, Minho’s mind went blank as he began to relax and give up control of his body to the steady beats of the song.
---
By the time Minho wrapped up his practice and was  heading home the sun was already starting to settle on the lower half of the sky. Surprisingly the day had passed him by quickly. Spending the whole day grinding out a routine he had been recently working to perfect was not usually an overall fun time, but Minho found that he was able to keep his practice productive and enjoyable. 
His smile throughout the day certainly had nothing to do with his breaks to text to Jisung. The casual banter between them felt natural, and the light conversation made him feel lighter on his feet as he moved across the floor. Even with the flirty nature of their introduction, their conversation never steered far from how anyone would expect two close friends to interact. Minho found himself smiling more throughout the day as he checked Jisung’s messages throughout the morning and afternoon. 
12:25 pm
Also for the record my capacity to flirt is honestly quite unimpressive 
I hope you aren’t talking to me for my stage charisma and charm 
To sweep you off you feet, i may be a disappointment
Usually i'm just awkward, cant flirt, doesnt leave the house, Jisung
You almost tripped over your feet walking into the bar last night
Dw im not sure id want you to sweep me off my feet with that balance
You wound me ;--;
 By talking to Jisung, he had somehow managed to satisfy all of Minho’s previous curiosities while sparking new ones. Even with Minho generally avoiding giving away his own personal interests and dreams, Jisung didn't hold those same reservations and filled their conversation with “fun facts” and lively stories. Jisung’s lively play by play of the bickering taking place between his group mates, now officially introduced as Chan and Changbin, had Minho giggling on the floor of the practice room. The way Jisung described everything brought it to life in ways that he hadn’t expected from a casual text conversation. The boy was definitely a great storyteller even just over type, and Minho found himself wondering if he would get to hear his endless stories in person.
---
[Rich Boy Han Jisung]
3:36 pm
Youre one interesting man Lee Minho
Han, you know almost nothing about me
On the contrary I feel like I know a good amount
Youre name is Lee Minho
You work at the fancy restaurant Menu 98
You used to work at the bar we were at last night
You have a really beautiful smile
Are you quite done
Definitely not but if i start going off about how stunning your eyes are 
you might block me
Which would be a shame please dont
What happened to awkward Jisung who cant flirt huh?
Minho returned to the small apartment to find Felix attempting to cook some ramen in the microscopic kitchen and Hyunjin sprawled across the couch watching some variety show. Felix was probably fueling up in order to spend the night gaming the weekend away before his work overtook his weekdays again. Hyunjin barely looked to be conscious but still managed to wave a greeting to Minho as he walked into the room. 
“How’d practice go?” 
“Pretty well. Finally was able to clean up that middle section I’ve been messing up.” Minho hurried into the other room to shower once again before heading to the restaurant for his evening shift. 
“Oh glad to hear it.” Felix’s voice filtered in from his place by the stove that was shoved in a corner of the room, along with a fridge and a sink that barely classified it as a kitchen unit. None of the three were complaining, the stove heated up their ramen water and the fridge kept their milk cold, what more could they ask for?
“WAIT, did you talk to that guy at the bar last night???” Hyunjin’s loud voice carried from the couch through their thin walls allowing Minho to clearly hear even if his bedroom door was closed. 
“Which one, Jinnie?? You gotta be more clear than that.” Minho had actually stacked up a few numbers from his night and received atleast ten free drinks from other patrons. Not too bad for the first night out, but of course the only phone number he had bothered messaging happened to be the one he had been texting all day.
“You know the one, the rapper one you left to go see perform.” Minho of course knew, but he wasn't gonna admit it to his roommate so easily, and just hummed in response eliciting a groan from the younger. 
“If you haven’t, you so should. 3racha is all everyone from the bar is talking about. Their concert must have been a big deal or something.” 
“WHAT, 3RACHA? You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Felix, apparently a fan, shuffles in with his ramen in hand to accompany the loud outburst.
“Hyung! One of them gave you their number?? They’re literally like the next big thing in the music scene. Which one of them was it?”  
J.One, Han Jisung, the cute pink hoodie guy
��His name is Jisung I’m pretty sure.” Minho was very sure. “I didnt know they were such a big deal” 
“J.One gave you his number? Damn hyung, you don't even know. They’ve been performing locally for years but their fan base has grown a ton in the last year. There’s rumors that they've signed with a company and are going to come out with something soon.” Felix continued spouting off information on the group to them, as Minho continued his routine of preparing for work at Menu 98. 
---
[Rich Boy Han Jisung]
4:35 pm
Looks like my roommate is a fan of you guys
We’re not talking the tall beautiful bartender from last night right
No that was Hyunjin, Felix is the fan
beautiful?
Ah atleast ill be on the good side of one of ur roomies
Yeah tall boy was pretty, but something about him made me think he didnt like me
I think it was his face, and his height
Most tall pretty boys dont take too well to a squirrel boy being in their territory ya know. 
Whats not to like about a cute squirrel boy
Im sure he likes you and youre over thinking
If his two roommates like you, he’ll have to like you by association
:o 
Did Lee Minho just admit to liking me 
Wow the development, less than 24 hours 
We love to see it
Your ridiculous
I said nothing of the sort
Sure sure hyung
Gtg now, dinner shifts starting
Have fun at work!!!!
(wait can i call you hyung???)
Minho left him on read as he walked into the restaurant, already bustling with waiters and the changing of shifts for the dinner crowd. ‘Less than 24 hours’ and Minho was already admitting indirectly that he liked the boy he had only just properly met the night before. Stranger things have happened he supposed. Minho continued to surprise himself with this one though. He was not one to seek out friendships or relationships. Anything more than the very occasional one night stand, was practically void from Minho’s social life. Other than the people he had met through dance and his roommates, there were very few others that Minho had chosen to form any kind of relationship with. Even his co-workers were mostly just faces and names he had to remember in order to do his job well. 
Well, expect Seungmin.
“You look awfully happy today, who spiked your coffee this morning?” Seungmin had been a newly inserted character in Minho’s life but they became fast friends after a few too many late night shifts without proper caffeination. 
Seungmin had been a newly hired host at Menu 98, just the average polite university student with enough experience to get hired. When Minho met him they exchanged the basic pleasantries and thought that would be the end of that, until one fated closing shift. A certain, tipsy, entitled, rich, high class asshole of a customer had held up Minho’s section for much of the night. Minho found himself being bossed around and verbally berated throughout the night, trying to serve the women who appeared to never be satisfied with the food or service Minho was offering. By the end of the night, she was their last customer and Minho saw her to the front to pay. His customer service smile, strained and barely holding up, and the woman’s complaints, even while paying, had him wanting to drop all his pleasantries and curse her out as she waltzed out the door.
    “What an absolute fucking pain in the ass of a woman”
Minho hadn’t thought he had said his thoughts aloud, but looked up to catch Seungmin, who had let the words come out in hushed tones as he held a sickening polite smile on his face. After that point the two had bonded over various pain in the ass customers and a mutual love for sarcastic backhanded insults. Minho's relationship with Seungmin was probably the closest thing to a friendship that the older had experienced in a while. 
“No spiked coffee, sadly” 
“Well something’s making your usual sad bitch face smile, so it's gotta be good. Hmm...Meet someone?” Seungmin’s signature puppy eyes were on full display, but not without the signature  mischievous glint they always held. 
“Well wouldn't you like to know Seungmo~ but me and my usually flawlessly beautiful face got to go charm our way into some extra tips.” Minho gave the boy a gentle pat on his head, that was met with a stubborn pout forming at the younger’s lips.
“You definitely met someone, you usually don't have this much self-confidence so early into the evening.” Minho did nothing but giggle at his comment and made his way to the back room to begin his shift. 
------
one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine
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axther · 5 years ago
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Heyo, can I get a bnha matchup? I'm a bisexual ENTP, but am mistaken as an introvert often due to being bad at social interaction and liking alone time. I talk a lot with people I'm comfortable with though. Sometimes I joke in serious situations. I don't worry that much and am carefree, though I can get randomly anxious sometimes. I'm a bit bad with emotions, but I've been told I can cheer people up because I'm optimistic. I'm a deep thinker and have been told a lot I'm smart.
Fnkdaofdnskao i really took a hot second with this one tbh 🥴 but here u go!! Also, since there was no gender listed, i just went w they/them pronouns!! If u want smth different, then just hmu and i can change it!! Also, i am so sorry i made the second one as more of a scenario?? And it was...oof. yikes. Sorry. This has become my style. Scenarios disguised as matchups. Im a liar 
AS OF 05/25/2020 IM A LIAR ITS OUT TONIGHTTTT
#1 is…Denki! 
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okokokokok SO
Y’all meet during a training exercise! 
It’s something similar to USJ, except it’s across several different schools and classes
And y’all had to find a bunch of objects 
So there’s a mixed bundle of people 
It’s a sort of competition
And everyone is sweating bullets 
And honestly??
You’re just vibin
And i mean this like, you don’t really seem concerned. 
You’re just chilling while everyone’s fighting, trying to find the best solution. 
Naturally, you’re worried, too
But you know that it’s kinda useless to try and talk over Monoma and Bakugou 
Now
Denki’s staying pretty quiet, too. 
While it looks like he’s just vibing, too, but honestly? 
He’s crazy nervous 
Because here are all these super talented heroes-to-be, he feels like he’s gonna be glossed over 
So as everyone’s duking it out, the two of you are just kinda...hanging in there
Now the thing is 
You guys are avoiding eye contact. 
Not in the sense of ‘oh my god, you atrocity to man,’ 
But in the ‘two bros chilling in a hot tub’ way. 
So as the entire thing is falling on its head
You look over and notice that he’s trying desperately to remain chill. 
He’s kinda fiddling with himself
And you nudge him a bit 
And as he turns to look at you, you may or may not be screaming ‘what the FUCK did I just do??????’ in your head
But when he faces you, you just give him a thumbs up 
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Like that 
And he’s kinda at a loss 
But he takes it, and gives you a smile and a big ol’ thumbs-up, too!! 
There’s no interaction again, until he nudges you 
“Do you think they’ll come up with something?” 
You shrug. 
“Considering that the only brain cell in my class went to the Class Rep, and it doesn’t look like these guys their class brain cell, I don’t think so.” 
Denki pulls back a snort before wiping his smirk off his face. 
“Do you think...we could try? On our own?” 
“Maybe.” You shrug again. “You’re the shock quirk user, right?” 
Denki is stunned
Did someone remember him? 
Woah
From here on out consider him whipped 
“Yeah! What’s your quirk?” 
“Crystallian.” 
You watch his face go through a journey of emotions before settling on muffled confusion. 
“Warping, basic elemental magic.” You play with some of your hair. “It’s all tied to a crystal I keep at home. If it’s safe, I’m safe.” 
Denki nods.
He hadn’t heard of quirks where they have a variety of unrelated uses 
But he’s there for it!! 
You two begin to make your own plan to succeed in the exercise 
And once y’all look over and realise that the arguing isn’t going to change, thanks to Monoma egging Bakugou on 
Y’all dip 
And by that, I mean you warp him and yourself to the highest point in the building 
Took one (1) look at the lights 
Shared a glance 
And y’all took out the power
Within about thirty minutes, y’all have all the goods!! 
Most folks are still trying to get used to the lack of light
So when your group presents the stuff to the teachers, Aizawa is tired but takes it 
And so you guys pass!! 
You and Denki talk more after 
And he finds out that you’re part of a special school for kids with special quirks
Which off the bat sounds really bad 
But you meet folks that are like you
and you tell him that he’d probably fit right in. 
He’s over the moon!!! For once!! 
Someone that takes him seriously!! 
Y’all exchange numbers and the entire class can’t begin to fathom that holy shit Denki Kaminari got a s/o before anyone else in the class
Throws them all for a loop
And meanwhile Denki’s thriving w hugs and cuddles 
#2 is…Momo! 
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Momo is...complicated
She’s in a rich family with a strong quirk
She’s got more than enough pressure on her shoulders
Especially since she was in 1-A, so the entire literal country of Japan has their eyes on her 
And all the while she’s doing her best to focus, focus, focus
She wanted one day where she could be like Mina, Ochako, Tooru, Jirou, Tsu…
Normal.
So she does it
One morning, while her parents are gone, and before anyone else is awake
She ties her hair up and places it into a gaudy blonde wig 
(Which was a massive pain in the ass, but that was the price of freedom) 
She dons sunglasses, an outfit that in any other case she would die being caught in
Leaves her phone on her bed
Tiptoes down the stairs 
And leaves 
The moment she’s past the gates of her house and out of view, she lets out an enormous sigh 
She has no idea what she’s going to do 
But her heart races a little, because that was the beauty of it!!
She finally had no rules, short of the law 
So she waltzes down the road, the city wakes up, and as the first hour drips by, she notices a distinct wave of youth
They’re not doing much, just relaxing in cafes and alleys
and Momo wonders if anyone is planning to send truant police
but considering she’s doing the same exact thing, she’s not gonna call them out  
But as she passes by an arcade, she notices a group
They’re a bit more subdued than most of the others, just watching one of their friends play a dancing game and fail horribly
But most notably, Momo sees you 
You’re snorting at the lanky girl who’s tripping over her own feet, but at the same time, it looks like you’re cheering her on 
Momo’s curious, of course, but she also doesn’t want to intrude 
But then one of them, a boy, turns and waves her over
She jumps because oh my god and makes her way over 
“Hey, did you want to play? Sorry that Tsukki was hogging the game.” The boy says, and you turn and glance at her. 
At first, Momo’s wondering if she should really join in, but then she sees you, fully…
Ohnotheyrehot.jpg
Unfortunately, you seem a bit closed off because you start talking to the last member of the party 
Momo brushes it off and nods quickly
because goddamnit that’s what she’s here for
being a normal teenager
So she starts playing Tsukki
And Momo wipes the floor with her 
Tsukki takes it well, fortunately, but it sparks conversation 
“Where’d you learn to play?” The boy, Seong-Jin, kept on asking 
Momo wasn’t crazy comfortable telling the Korean transfer student that she had ballroom classes 
But as she’s about to make an excuse
She sees Present Mic out of the corner of her eye 
And immediately panics 
But before she can tell the four that she needs to hide, you come in clutch
You notice her look of panic and take off your jacket
And you drape it over her and pull up the hoodie. 
At that point, all you can see is the bottom half of her face 
(seeing as she never took off her sunglasses) 
And a tuft of blonde hair 
Present Mic even pops by for a second to ask how the kids were doing, and he didn’t recognise Momo
So crisis averted 
Almost immediately afterwards, the five bail from the arcade and ask Momo why she freaked out 
But then you speak up 
“She doesn’t have to tell us. But next time you might need to bail, feel free.” 
You gave her a soft smile, and when I tell you Momo’s face lights up 
You two stick together for the rest of the day 
And Seong-Jin, Tsukki, and the last person, Keito, are here for it
Bit by bit, they start separating into groups 
That is, the Momo/YN group and the Everyone Else group 
Soon enough, the three disappear to do something while Tsukki is shouting
And you and momo decide to take a break by a cafe, on a wall with foliage hitting your back 
and you guys are talking as the sun begins to set 
You guys talk about everything and anything 
And Momo confesses it was the most fun she had in years 
The way you talk to her is almost methodical, with how you seemed to tip toe around any insinuations or trauma.
“I know I only met you today, but if you ever need a place to crash…”  
You trail off, playing a bit with your hands, but more out of awkwardness than anxiety.
Momo’s heart swells. 
She manages out a ‘thank you’ before hesitantly leaning on your shoulder 
And you take a deeeepp breath in 
But you don’t nudge her off
And slowly she begins to fall asleep, and her wig is tilted and her sunglasses are askew
but you glance at her out of the corner of your eyes and give a soft smile 
(that was not the last time you two met, and five years later at the altar, she’s wearing the same damn wig) 
#3 is...Kirishima! 
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PINING
This sounds really simple 
But Kirishima would absolutely pine after you for 3.8 million years
Y’all went to the same middle school and you were friends 
And he’s all over you 
Sometime between the first and third year of middle school he just fell head over heels 
And so he tags along with you the entire time 
But after the Giant Figure incident, and he says he’s won’t go to U.A., you get lowkey pissed 
You tell him that he’s worked so hard, he’s come so far, why give up now, he’s only fourteen for god’s sake. 
But he doesn’t listen
And you two don’t talk after that 
After he decides to go for it and not live a life of regrets, he’s doing his best to become someone he wants to be 
But the biggest looming regret he had was the fallout with you
And it was a nasty fall out-parents stopped talking, kids took sides, teachers knew 
You went to a completely different school than what he thought you were
And he was pretty sure that due to the fallout and the constant movement of time, you changed your number 
So he knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as just saying ‘You were right, sorry.’ 
It starts consuming him
Half of U.A. knows that he’s thinking about something 
But it comes to a head when he’s sparring against Bakugou 
And all he’s really doing is blocking
And bakugou loses his shit
“Get your fucking head out of the clouds and focus!” 
“Sorry, dude!” 
“What the fuck has you acting so damn stupid?” 
Kirishima tells Bakugou, who gets it, but doesn’t really try to help 
“Just tell her.” He hisses 
But Kirishima’s nervous 
And by the end of the week, he’s gotten a flurry of suggestions 
People are coming up to him left and right, telling him what to do
And he just gets overwhelmed
On Saturday, he locks himself in his room until Mina knocks 
She comes in and they start talking about you 
And she mentions that she has your number, and that it really would matter if Kirishima was the one to text first
“YN supported you, and then it got rubbed in the dirt, and then ignored again. You need to be the one to say it, honestly, otherwise it’ll mean nothing.” 
So he gets to work
He spends the rest of saturday trying to write it all out his emotions 
But eventually he gives on getting them all neat and tidy, and just lets them ooze out 
Sunday morning he gets up early and types it all out, willing his hands not to shake too much 
Mina and Bakugou are there with him, and though Mina keeps making jokes and Bakugou doesn’t offer much in way of help, they’re there to support him 
So when he sends it and lets out a sigh, Bakugou pats him on the back
“And now, we wait.” Mina murmurs, watching the phone with wide eyes. 
And watching
And watching
And watching
And three days pass before Kirishima gets any sort of response 
He’s expecting to be chewed out, to get the text equivalent of a teary welcome back
Not fucking eight ball. 
But he clicks on it 
And he wins, surprisingly 
There’s a moment between his win and your text where he doesn’t dare breathe, just stand still 
Before you text back 
So. 
ur in ua huh 
guess you did it after all. 
Yeah. 
Again, sorry. I didn’t think a lot of stuff through back then. 
figures lmao 
u free next week? 
For you? 
I always am. 
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