#im just... im down so bad.. oh...
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the way this video has done irreparable damage to my psyche. girl the worms. the brain worms are here.......
#personal#I KNOW I SAID ID BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS BUT DID ANYONE ACTUALLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAID THAT????#im a goner. how many days since i started only friends. when did i learn their names. how fast is this progressing#timestamp 3.30 to 3.36 is what broke me btw. i stood no chance. not with a smile and a lil giggle like his.#and i know im talking about first a lot but trust. trust and believe when i say khao is equally responsible for My Worms#so uh. im sorry if i come back here after being inactive for months just to rb khaofirst#this was simply my fate from the moment i hit play on only friends ep1... or perhaps before that when i watched moonlight chicken 🥴#im just... im down so bad.. oh...
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so sick and tired of the “jedi are an evil and abusive cult that steals children” as if half the reason they weren’t protecting these children is bc sith were out killing them or TURNING THEM INTO SITH. they weren’t even STEALING children to begin with I thought we all knew that was Palpatine’s game not Yoda’s.
#i hate star wars fans i truly do#they wanna pick apart the jedi like of course there are mistakes and wrong doings#bUT THE SITH ARE RIGHT THERE#trying to build the narrative that anakin was abused by the jedi is absolutely crazy when his actions and thoughts were all his own#and GROOMED by palpatine#the only reason people want to pin them as bad people is because yoda could call out anakin’s bad behavior#that and they didnt promote him to master right away because oh im the chosen one i should be#like you need to PROVE you are the chosen one and that you WILL bring balance to the force and NOT DESTROY IT#THATS FHE WHOLE PROPHECY#AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY WERE CAREFUL WITH ANAKIN???#and then the oh well they make you supress feelings#nO#THEY#DONT#they make you surpress attachments so that if it comes DOWN to it you will save the many and not just risk it all to save the ONE#disney has done damage to the star wars community i swear#saw a tik tok comment section where they said the council is like the christian church#lost my MIND#well the jedi fit cult criteria!!#wow! star wars fans find out WHAT A GROUP OF RELIGION IS#LITERALLY ANY GROUP OF RELIGION CAN BE CALLED A CULT NOT EVERY CULT IS BAD#im sorry i cant stand it anymore#star wars#star wars tcw#auxxrat yap#jedi council#jedi#star wars legends
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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his horns (finials) (idk)(ears)(whatever) shaking... the jumping ??? the struggling 😭 the off center twitching ..he is PISSED. AWF !!!!!!
#his defeat being planned makes this either hes playing up his rage bcs he definitely played up his defeat#or a mixture of playing up his rage and actually being a little pissed bcs he wanted to get more licks in but couldnt#anyways i cant take him sersiouly with those big ass ears#like an angry kitten trying to escape the burrito calm down blanket of doom#his helmet shape is so cute to me inearth spark it almost looks like a 80s mom hairstyle with the hair#cropping a symmetrical curve around her face or smthing#tbh if u are delusional enough all soundwaves are hot moms#i mean come on it's a given#except the animated one. he was freshly birthed. a little baby#megatron and optimus watching him freak like : 😦#optimus: so he served under you#megatron : oh Yes 😼..#meg: iMEAN yeah 😦#meg: i mean .. yes 😞..#need somebody to clip all soundwave appearances pls all seasons need it. NOWW!!!!!!!#at first i wasnt a big fan of his voice bcs i think when ppl try to harden that demonic voice underneath the autotune factor#which is rlly cool#they can kinda go too hard and it sounds almost too cartoony like a cartoon monster villain whos not calculated but vry primal#which goes against soundwaves whole cool calculated spy techno soundguy thing#but im warmed up to it now bcs it's a cute contrast like. u see this beautiful mech with magnificent curves & ure like omg hey hot mama#and then a voice from the 9th circle of hell growls at you like thats lowkey hilarious#dont mess with a bad bitch !!!!!! who just had a bad break up!!!!#he WILL kill u !!!!!!!!#soundwave#transformers#maccadam#tf#tf es#tf earthspark#arcee
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺
#listen im only in episode two and i know there's some drama going down but im focusing on this lol#i love that not only do they show the angel using a wheelchair and being ambulatory#but they also visibly show them miracling innaccessibility issues so that they Can still use the chair#instead of just getting rid of the disability#part of my is conflicted bc im like... there's disabilities in heaven? and that makes Me sad bc my disability is hell and painful as fuck#But getting rid of disability in fantasy is eugenist crap and showing that god made a disabled angel is a net good thing#while it personally makes me sad to think if there was a heaven i could still be in pain all the time#not all disabilites are bad and need to be cured we're a wide spectrum and we've been fighting for disabled rep esp in fantasy for ages#it's objectively good my personal feelings about my own disability aside#part of me thinks it's cliche to say 'you were made perfect' bc they're an angel But it's not we literally havent had this type of rep lol#anyways it made me happy to see#and im so glad it's a power chair user that's ambulatory it's important for abled ppl to see that#anyways y'all keep your drama and spoilers off my post im not far in and im only talking about this shoo#oh also!! love the fantasy hover chair they use in heaven specifically too i wish we had that it kicks ass#p
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EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT FUCKING NOW

EVERYBODY SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the teru & reigen virus can attack at any time.#over the most miniscule things at that.#IVE CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY OF THEM BOTH LIKING IT BEFORE. BECAUSE OF REIGEN’S. TASTE IN MOVIES#BUT. AHHHHH!!!!! HAHGHHHGHG!!!!!!!!!!!#its REAL#teru finding reigen’s fdp poster. barely restraining his overjoyed wonder that someone else enjoys something niche he enjoys#teru in his most normalest voice ever: oh wow you like this movie too? what a coincidence! [jittering so bad he might burst]#the teru&reigen movie lineup must he INSANE#be*#i need to make a fic right now (is about to go to sleep)#the possibilities. (<-is insane and crazy and insatiable)#flashback to the flying dead pig comic. tear streaks down cheek#I COULD SENSE THE ENERGY FROM A MILE AWAY. CANNOT HIDE FROM ME#i think reigen would enjoy having someone to talk crappy movies with. but teru would genuinely love them i think so reigen would have to#tread lightly while speaking about them#reigen: yeah the direction in this movie was totally messy#teru concealing biggest saddest frown ever: it is just creative. you dont know a goddamn thing#reigen would not hide his truths [emoji] but he would pity the boy#teru&reigen seventeen hour discussion about old obscure movies (NO SURVIVORS RITSU CAUGHT IN THE BLAST AND KILLED)#im sick#i also love how this trivia is worded. its very deliberate if you get what i mean#‘[muttering out of side of mouth] also..if you didnt know…..’#its a fun piece of factoid to share. and i. i really. im im teally. i jsut . i am telaly gals thhat they worded it aaid ltit like thaey did.#THIS IS SUXH NOTHINGBURGER. IM SORRY#dude this is why i have the teru reigen family album. im desperate for the smallest of morsels. just a CRUMBBB PLEAAASE#GHHAHAHEHEHAJA !!!!! HHHRHEGEGAHAHS S AAWWHHHH AHHHHBABHAHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!! RRRRAGHSHHAAAGAGEGGEHHRHRH#mob psycho 100#mp100#teruki hanazawa#reigen arataka
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I gotta blabber for a sec about how much I appreciate how unique and SO not-simple of an antagonist Olrox is.
like he's introduced as the Vampire Who Kills Richter's Mom, and it was a straight-up murder. Like he fully sought her out, she was in the process of sending her kid overseas most likely because she knew he was coming - even before we fully get Olrox's side of the context, we can tell that shit was personal. Right down to the vivid green eyes, he's giving weirdly chill disney villain vibes. But the entire rest of the show? He's the dude in the bad guy car of the villain train just sitting and judging (OH is he judging) every other person there.
Olrox tracking down and killing Julia Belmont is the most confrontational we ever see him get. Every other scene he's in? He's watching, assessing, sometimes philosophizing, and eventually pulling his own chess moves, but fighting? Rarely! And the additional context of his character makes him even more fascinating!!
Olrox is really one of the only vampires in both Castlevania and C: Nocturne that seems to hold onto a connection to a human's life - even after he's no longer one. He reminisces to Mizrak about being a human during the fall of the Aztec Empire, he chooses to spend his time more like a human than any vamp since Lisa sent Dracula traveling like a human way back when.
Homeboy crossed the Atlantic by fucking ship, at a time when the trip took literal weeks and weeks and he can't even leave his quarters except at nighttime (granted, idk if he *has* a faster way to cross the ocean but it kinda seems like he'd do the ship trip anyways) he chooses to rent a room at an inn instead of staying at the chateau (and boink a cute human in said room, cough cough), and really seems to avoid other vampires - although I'm not sure if that's cuz he just doesn't vibe with 'em in general, or because he really doesn't vibe with the current hot vampire philosophy of the century, which seems to be very heavy-handled colonialism + elitism
I kinda wouldn't be surprised if it's both honestly - given that the only other vampire we meet besides him who spent time in the americas/new world was a literal plantation owning slaver (and unless I misremember, Annette says there were multiple vampires among the rich in St. Domingue), it seems pretty likely to me that whoever turned him was probably a vamp who had a direct hand in the downfall of his nation - coming to the New World specifically for conquest and to seize resources seems like it would be hella appealing for vampires. It would make a LOT of sense for Olrox's standoffish behavior around the other vamps to go back to him having been turned by someone very similar to them, who was probably not just an enemy to him, but part of this massive wave of destructive change in his human life.
like he really gives an impression of actively disliking and withdrawing from every other villain's motivation in this show - and it makes a lot of sense if my speculating is even a little bit close. The vampire's goals in Nocturne would be very nearly the same thing that drove the fall of the Aztec Empire - desire for power and control, justified by some """""natural order"""" hierarchy which really just boils down to 'we want all of this and we're going to indulge in making up a dramatic jerk-off reason why we're entitled to it, since you can't stop us taking it anyways and we've got time'
Dude seems to make little effort to be vampire-like - we rarely see him revel in his power like many other vampires do, as well as seeing him nonchalantly rubbing elbows with humans. He speaks fondly of a man he loved, who he fell for while said guy was still human, TO the other human he is currently crushing on! And I do mean crush, like he doesn't react to or treat Mizrak like a plaything, almost every time we get an Olrox lore-drop it's because he's talking to Mizrak sincerely about things that matter to him. He LIKE-likes this human, to the point of jumping directly into a fight to whisk Le Crush to safety in front of a vampire so powerful he won't directly oppose her! Absolutely fascinating behavior all around.
MAN but I want to see some flashbacks from this guy - as far as we know, vampirism is completely an Old World thing - Europe, Asia, Africa, every other vampire we've seen in both Castlevania shows has been from these continents. Were there even any vamps there at all before europeans landed on the shores of the americas???? I mean, I've heard of one of the old religions in mesoamerica having a suspiciously vampirelike god, but how would that connect to Olrox getting vampirized as a 30ish Aztec man?
MAN OH MAN but I am looking forward to seeing what Olrox gets up to in s2 -I'm burning to know if he's gonna survive the series or not, because despite him being the first villain we meet in Nocturne and doing a deed that usually gets villains the 'karmic death' ending, overall he's not really being written like a bad guy the audience wants to see go down. especially since he's not actually in opposition to our protagonists and has a vested interest in keeping one of Team Good Guys newer members alive. My guess is he's either going to get a similar ending to Isaac, a villain that we root for who actually catches a break and doesn't die, ooorrrrrrrr he's gonna get a Highly Tragic sort of death
#oh wiki says camazotz is from mayan mythology so i have connected no dots actually#although it also says in mesoamerica general bats are associated with death night and sacrifice which DOES sound very vampire-y#olrox#castlevania olrox#castlevania nocturne#castlevania#mizrak#mizrox#FASCINATED by him having (seemingly) turned his old love into a vamp without consent#but when mizrak (whom he is claiming he's NOT in love with) yells at him to let him get back to the final fight godammit#he just ends up watching him go with literal tears in his eyes#ruh roh someone's in WUV DAAAWWWW#MAN but I would pay good money to see Olrox interact with Dracula - the two confirmed vamps we know of who were Down Bad for a human#Dracula would probably be like “My wife is a cooler human than ur boytoy” (and he'd be right)#Mizrak was on the anti-reason/rationality + Protect Churches Not People bandwagon with Abbott Jerkface#he gets the 'not as much of a jerk as you coulda been' award for getting his priorities straight in the last 2 episodes#meanwhile Lisa Tepes literally banged on The Impaler's door and demanded to be taught medicine to use reason and education to help people#im very curious to know what Olrox might think of Dracula's reaction/actions to Lisa's murder#but im DYING to know how he and Alucard might interact this season
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5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA
i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)
((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#i think tumblr is chewing on this ah well#its more of a weapon color headcanon than anything else tbh SAFASDA#but its very funny in my mind to refer to this as#insert percent amount of color headcanon here ASDASFA#i do not have many color headcanons tbh???#overall i would say i have like 1.15(ish) color headcanons that are solid in my brain across the cast???#the rainbow dagger has been in my minds eye for a long time#um SPOILERISH talk ahead in tag talk so be warned#i am serious!! turn back now if u dont want SPOILERS!!!#can u imagine if siffrins parents had lovingly crafted that white cloak and helped him pick out the pure black fit when younger#so they could be fashionably black and white like if things were in color or something#but then the first thing siffrin picks out on their own terms is literally the most colorful thing imaginable for the dagger#i do not know if that makes much sense but yeah#it is fun in my minds eye ASDAFA#actually is it ever mentioned where siffrin got the dagger??#was it also passed down????#ik the cloak was for sure from his family#and the pure black fit underneath is up in the air i think#tho if it was a first pass pick from parents#and he continued to pick it again and again after they got older subconsciously or not might be fun to think about#also do not mind the art style shift it might happen again LMAO#probably sparingly tho? who knows!!!#should i link stream in this post??? i dont know???#i feel a lil bad if it isnt related?????#oh well im doing it anyway because friendship :]#honestly did not think i would also have anything to post today but uh oops sorta just happened and it lined up so ASFASDA#anyway tag talk over stream time WOOO and i think i hit tag limit LMAO
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I'm just saying you guys, if you're a fanfic author and you're going through a rough period where you keep feeling like your writing is shit and awful and just absolute garbage, just reread your own work.
You don't even have to look at the comments if you're going through a particularly nasty patch where you're convinced everyone is just lying and was only saying nice things to spare your feelings. Just reread the fic itself. It'll change your mind so quick I promise.
There's seriously nothing quite like clicking on what is *your* most popular fic and going 'Oh. I get it now. I think I understand why other people actually like this one so much holy shit'.
#seriously been going through a real rough patch recently#like unable to start writing cause i was convinced that my work was gonna bring down the quality of the zine bad#unsure about wanting to take part in the summer exchange cause whoever i get is gonna be left with not even a substandard gift bad#but man if rereading all my stuff isnt making me feel so much better about most of it#like yeah im noticing every little spelling mistake and forgotten word that i missed the first time#realizing that i have sentences (sometimes ever paragraphs) that i really didnt need and should have just dropped#but those teeny tiny nitpicks are NOTHING compared to everything else i keep noticing as well#like realizing that my tense scenes are suitably tense and my more humerous pieces are actually kinda fucking funny#that despite my aroace ass having never really been in a relationship im actually not bad at writing those awkward embarrassing romances#reading random sentences and going 'oh thats fucking *good* what do you mean i wrote that'#like holy shit you guys#i think i might actually know what im doing#and i might be kinda good at this 😯
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Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.
So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.
#fe three houses#byleth#hanneman von essar#i like that Byleth just kinda stares at him and he realizes WHAT HE SAID and the implications and is like#step back uh forget that I said that#like man so zoned in on research he blurts that out and has to backtrack mentally to AH socially bad to say that my bad#if i need to tag this as anything lemme know even though it is a conversation in game basically (minus the marriage)#also if you have never married hanneman i genuinely enjoyed his s support and was VERY surprised and hes just#honestly one of my favorites overall in 3h ?? and im still bummed i cant play as him in thropes like thats just mean#also i think if byleth was like oh well if its awkward to see someone undress randomly#then marriage would solve the awkwardness this is truly the best deduction#which is really funny that i can see it happening with both leths despite my hc of them#with fyleth as bi and myleth as ace i think both would just be like AH cool we can avoid awkwardness by marriage#and hanneman just wants to go lie down in a ditch because he said something like that#and and byleth doesnt even know about religion while working at church school they dont know about school regulations#that wasnt really on their mind to check ok just saying you could tell byleth no to something#and then they just go oh school policies i understand unfortunately#and the person is like no we just meant its frowned upon to do archery practice in the tea garden its not technically illegal just dont??
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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fanciful stories (you're way too good at this)
(that's not what it's about. being good at it)
#pokemon#swsh#champion leon#gym leader raihan#assistant sonia#three parts of a whole idiot#hi. this is mostly me testing just goin at it with ink again. its wonky but! thats not what its about!#thinking abt little boy... in the arena with a set of league uniform a size too big. winning because it's fun#leon truly is like a recurring nightmare I have. every other month I wake up in the middle of the night like oh shit leon pokemon#also reintroducing the dragonfly motif for raihan... I debuted it for leon but tbh? it fits raihan better#this is like magical girl to me. the image genre of using kids toys to do archetypal hero things#man. I really need to draw a very specific thing for gloria. leon may be in it but I want it to be for gloria#we'll see! Im so fucking sleepy rn#theres a feast to be made tomorrow. I need to lay down n save up my energy for cookin#have a good night lads! remember: making bad art is fucking awesome
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you were anything but.
#hi. sorry (stabs you) im so sorry (keeps stabbing you) (stabs you again) oh my god im so sorry (kee#anyways i have been thinking about their friendship so much for the past. A While#cd🥹 cd come back to me🥹🥹#and young sep …. young sep is like a wholly different version of him#he’s so 2 cycles old#and drawing him without eyebags feels so weird. it’s just wrong. paradoxical#and also the way they’re actually affectionate …. ghhh …. (cracks down the middle)#(runs away really fast)#myart#mycomics#oc: cognitive dissonance#oc: needless separation#😁😁😁(normal)#i am extremely normal about the implications of this comic. and about them. trust#i miss their friendship can someone bring it back. Please. Oh god#enough bad things we need to time travel to when everything was good
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something i genuinely adore about tadc is how painfully flawed everyone in the circus is. and not in a small way
everyone does SOMETHING that negatively impacts the others. but it makes the fact that you are supposed to sympathize with and really connect with them all the more potent. because its easy to want to put a bunch of characters in a bad situation together and to just have them all be nice to each other and everyone and never make mistakes because theres no reason to hurt each other, and most of them dont TRY to, but the way they cope is so, so realistic for each of their personalities, and it doesnt always mesh with the others, and sometimes it exceeds self destructive and Just Hurts Others, Too
they still generally care about each other and the mistakes they make and the ways they end up hurting each other dont lose their weight but like. it doesnt take away from their humanity and the fact that they are all trying so hard to manage in an awful situation
and the characters seem to have sooome sort of understanding of this too. not fully, because the characters dont tend to be 100% communicative, but when they hurt each other, it often makes EVERYONE uncomfortable. because these are the only people they have. these are their friends. and theyre all coping. but it doesnt change how much it affects them (best illustrated by ragathas lines at the start of ep 2 or gangles 'i love her, but after a while it gets kinda hard to tell how genuine shes actually being'). its not all like this, theres a good amnt of variety, but characters knowing this but not really knowing what to do about it is very painful in an effective way
(i think a subtle example of this is how zooble handles gangles situation in ep 4- they were so genuinely trying to help her because they care. but could tell as the day went on that oh, this is not working at all and its making things worse, and they leave gangle alone- something that very genuinely couldve been the moment she abstracted, because of the mask zooble gave her- and we dont get to have a super blatant explanation of zoobles thoughts on it, but they reach a fairly healthy conclusion about it that helps both of them, and i like that a lot, because on paper zooble could be placed at fault but the narrative doesnt dwell on it excessively, because thats not the point. i dont know if that tangent makes sense but i think about it sometimes. i think zooble wasnt 'to blame' but it was still a mistake, which is a hard balance to strike, and having them help at the end feels extremely effective at rounding it off!!!)
but like. in general its complicated balancing making characters in a bad situation act flawed because it can run the risk of seeming like the story is scolding them or blaming them for the situation theyre in, or like youre expected to not sympathize with them despite it (though the inverse also has complications- if characters in a bad situation never mess up, it feels unrealistic and hard to relate to, and can imply that their innocence is why whats happening to them is bad at all), but the show handles it so well
even the characters who are genuinely trying all try in different ways- some of them have similar outlooks or attitudes towards these thing but theres vital differences for ALL of them- sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. in fact some of the more painful mistakes characters have made in the show have come from them so genuinely trying (like the thing i mentioned w zooble, or basically Everything Ragatha Does, or pomnis first attempt at helping gangle, etc), which hits harder than if every mistake characters made had wholly selfish and cruel goals.
i mean, there is a selfishness to many of the characters' actions but imo not in a way thats not warranted. because all of them are in a horrible setting. its uncomfortable to watch characters be selfish. but it is a natural instinct to survive. its not the foundation of most of their actions, but when it is, its uncomfortable but hard to completely disparage them for in a way that makes you feel kinda conflicted
and like. it hurts to be doing your best and for that to make things worse, but its what happens often in the show. because no one in a bad situation is gonna handle it well. by the very nature of trying to survive something is gonna give, but it makes the themes of the show so much more powerful. that making sure the people around you dont feel unloved, cherishing them and finding meaning with others is no less important just because everyone is fucking up. it complicates things, for sure, but it doesnt make those characters exempt fromt this. theres a reason pomni tells gummigoo that she doesnt want "anyone" to feel like theyre nothing, and that kinger doesnt add ANY quallifiers to making sure people feel wanted and loved (not that i think either of them were thinking SUPER super hard, but it conveys smth from the perspective of the narrative
it gets complicated when you add in jax for sure, since i think on the surface he IS the exception to this concept- none of the characters like him, including pomni or kinger. but i think this is something thats gonna be examined further down the line, bc hes the main complicating factor in this reading of the show, but i feel like thats on purpose. hes universally disliked (and so is caine, in a different way) and his actions arent mistakes. they are him coping. the show has made it clear that he can be a complex person AND also a piece of shit. his actions dont detract from the fact that hes a person and the show reminds us of this. so it makes things so messy, but im genuinely super excited to see how the show examines that. where his character goes is, imo, going to be a massive piece of how this show fleshes out this concept
#tadc#it just makes me so... man#all of them are coping in a way that influences their mistakes#like. i think the best example i could name is ragatha. she highlights this aspect of the show so well#shes struggling so much. shes doing her best to stay optimistic and because the others dont feel as hopeful as she presents herself#it distances them from her#she wants people to like her SO bad which reads so hard as fawning. but this also puts people off and makes her harder to trust#even if her care for the others is genuine the issue is that how she copes tends to leave her a little isolated in some way shape or form#and thats *just* ragatha#i shoudl write smth properly breaking down how this is done w the whole cast#cus i cannot fit it in these tags#so i gotta put a pin in it.... but. have this#also ive said it before but i very genuinely think jax SHOULD get the chance to heal#i mean. i wouldnt like him if i had to know him in person. but i dont think thats . actually relevant#so how the show dissects his character going forward intrigues me and i wanna keep an eye on it so much#it is a BOLD move writing wise to establish him as a piece of shit and then to set up these ideas#cus theyre going somewhere im sure. they keep bringing it up#anywayyyyy. thats the post#sorry if any of it got confusing i have a lot of thoughts abt this but they get a tad jumbled bc theres just. so many factors#i need to make an essay outline before i make these posts LMAOOOOOO#OH YEAH WAIT#bonus:#i think abt how pomni abandons ragatha TWICE in ep 1 and i think it could make someone dislike her#but genuinely. makes me like her more. sometimes people get extremely selfish when theyre scared#its bad! but it makes sense. and it makes her feel so much more real#smth smth theres that saying that how someone acts under pressure says more abt them#but like. its complicated. because an easy way to get someone to act mean is to make them scared#esp since the phrase is more attributed to a crisis. but in tadc this is just their forever#and looong drawn out trauma makes people behave very differently#gestures. i dont have the words to break down that phrase wrt this show but maybe ill try later too. put a pin in that one as well
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— THE ELECTRIC-FEVER REMEDY.
#my posts.#lackadaisy#my art.#thinking about … rocky ‘winning’#in the sense that mitzi ends up completely alone and can only rely on his help to keep lackadaisy afloat …#making him irreplaceable — finally! and wick is nowhere to be seen to save the day anymore … so it’s just him#and maybe mitzi’s miserable and he’s miserable but he doesn’t care about it really … he’s just happy to be important … essential … etc#mitzi has shrunk and she’s become blurry and faceless because rocky is indulging in his victory#is too busy internally celebrating to really. notice her. so she’s small and disproportionate … murky …#AHEM! since i can’t write about my mitzi/rocky feelings i’ll art about it ( very quickly lmfao )#i just think rocky’s obsession with mitzi and being the person she relies on most is something he takes to extremes#and will continue to do so the way his arc is going. there’s not much left for him outside of ‘this’ anyway … or so he believes#i also think they will continue to drag each other down …#rocky doomed by the narrative and mitzi IS that narrative. they’re fucked but at least they have each other i suppose!!!#i have so many more thoughts and ofc this is more metaphorical …#but i do think. about the darkness around the corner for the two of them … hm! anyway! yeah!#rocky rickaby#mitzi may#wrote up these tags and drew this at like 3am to 5am so thats why i sound crazy#OH and the lines are from the bunnybox page in the comic <3 where he compares her to drugs twice <3#totally NOT a really bad sign im sure!! that would be silly :3
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