bailaconox

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i'm still in shock and haven't processed the fact that i have floor seats to see stray kids in toronto 😖😖😖😖😖😖

i went into this presale aiming for mid-tier tickets and ... you know what, with that price range, i guess i accomplished that ... for about 10x the price i hoped to pay ... but i wasn't about to settle for seats so far away i'd need binoculars ... or for seats on a 90 degree angle ... i'm okay with not being seen by the boys, but the one thing i desperately wanted was to see them clearly without looking at the screens or zooming in on my phone ... i know i sound greedy and entitled but god i'm okay with having a kind of shit credit score if it means i get to have an experience like this ... AND THIS TIME I GET TO SHARE IT WITH TWO OTHER PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!!

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it's really kind of embarrassing that i'm still holding onto my extra omega x ticket solely because i'm hoping my mom will change her mind and agree to come with me. and because i'm too afraid to ask her about it. i honestly have no right to ask this and she has 1000 reasons to say no and i know that wanting this is selfish.

but one of the major things that's been fucking me up since i came back home from school.. its that every time i used the tv upstairs, everyone would groan and let me know how annoying they think the stuff i watch is and then they'd leave the room. it hurts that they dont even try... im not saying i want my whole family to suddenly love kpop and my silly dramas. but my heart desperately wants to share the things i love with the people i love.. and everyone refuses to engage with it on even that level. of trying to see it through my eyes. of understanding me a bit better through what i love. i want to share my joy and happiness and it fucking SUCKS to get shut down every single fucking time.

so i stopped watching tv upstairs and spend most of my time in my room and its fucking killing me

and that's why i want this so bad.. i want my mom to see me when im happy. i want her to meet these boys i care so damn much about. i want her to, if not love, then simply respect them and all that they are to me. i want to share this moment with her.

..

something something eldest daughter etc and so forth 🥲

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Chae Hyungwon as Han Yo Han FLY, AGAIN (2021) dir. Oh Chung Pung

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bad news! i have no idea what im doing. good news! i will continue nonetheless.

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the secret to life is always having something to look forward to

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excited as hell to reread aftg so i can remind myself of the entire plot before digging into the sunshine court 🤧🥰🙏 i love being LITERATE and i love BOOKS and READING!

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i just want to one day be loved like elle woods’ sorority sisters loved her

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I have a severe case of wanting to do everything and ending up doing nothing

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OFF ROAD ꩜ Beyond the Studio

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People really underestimate the power of just telling someone you like them. romantically obviously but hell even just platonically too. You can admit you enjoy peoples presence it doesn’t have to be mind games it’s okay to just be sincere and true with your thoughts and intentions btw

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sunwoo's live (240919)

(x,x,x,x.)

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JAECHAN for DAZED (2024)

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i do think you have to be a bit pathetic to be truly hot

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the illusion was always that we just had to do it. just “do” the homework. the meal prep. the college application. just write the email, send the homework, follow up with that interview, clean your room. these are easy things, one-click things, two-hours-max things. we had so many people in our lives shout it at us. “why didn’t you just do it!” 

often my answer was a soft i don’t know. an i-got-tired when actually it was more like - i couldn’t. i just couldn’t. it feels like everything is covered in snow. don’t you know that i’m mad at myself too? i want this stuff just as much as you do. i want to live in a clean house with good food and have an okay job and know i’m not disappointing the people i’m coming home to. i don’t like missing opportunities and having to scramble in a panic about last-minute things.

i’m a fully grown adult. she is posing for a pic on insta. if you want a life like this, go out and get it. it’s 2pm and i haven’t eaten breakfast. i am staring at the space where i should be working. 

her video has a laugh. “just do it!”