#im going to be using the video for positive and negative things

[spacepatrolhana]

Me when an artist draws a character im attracted to really well

[lordsardine]

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well the fic is getting somewhere

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[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE august edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the august catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

WHAT UR DREAMS REVEAL ABOUT YOU ;

have u ever woken up from a vivd dream and thought "what does that even mean?" yeah same. so i decided to dive into this for this catalog and here's what i found. dreams represent unconscious desires and wishes. we have dreams that mirror our emotional state.

three of the most common dreams that people have are falling, being chased, and dying. which are all inherently negative things. when u dream of falling, it shows a loss of control over an important situation. when u dream of being chased, thats ur brains way of telling u that ur stressed out. and when u dream of dying, it could represent a part of you that is dying or something you'd like to escape. 

and dreams about death are the most scary to me cuz i have MASSIVE fear of death but there are more than just negative dreams. usually my dreams consist of things that radiate positivity, or my dreams can be flat out weird. either way, if i remember my dreams i like to write them down and yap about them with my friends.

HAIR HEAVEN ;

i thought that since its leo season and leo's have the BEST hair its only right that hair is the topic of this month's beauty section. so im going to focus on talking about styling, treatments and general care.

how you style ur hair is SO super important to ur whole vibe and aesthetic. hair styles look different on everyone for a multitude of reasons but one of the most obvious is that people have different face shapes and different styles are flattering on different faces.

remember, u dont have to get the same haircut as ur favorite celeb bcuz its so much more cute and original when u get ur own haircut…💬🎀

now unto hair treatments. hair treatments are so important to keep ur hair healthy and lustrous and just well taken care of. so im going to give some hair mask and treatment recipes to keep ur hair healthy and radiant…💬🎀

now finally lets talk about some general tips to keep ur hair gorgeous and lovely on a day to day basis.

♡ use scrunchies instead of elastics when u can to avoid putting strain on ur hair

♡ incorporate collagen into ur diet with supplements or vitamins because its rly rly good for hair skin and nails

♡ when using heat on ur hair, use a heat protectant and try not to apply heat to ur hair on a daily basis

AUGUST MUSIC ;

this month i've really been listening to CHECK by the girl group FLO and let me just say, that song is an absolute MASTERPIECE. the music video was amazing. i love love the cinematography and the concept cuz its super hyper girly just like me and the girls looked so amazing and beautiful.

one of my favorite albums that also dropped this month was latto's sugar honey iced tea album. latto is so so talented and gorgeous and she rly ate down with this album so i highly recommend it to anyone who's been thinking about giving it a listen. my favorite songs on the album are shrimp & grits, look what u did and S/O to me.

BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON ;

for a lot of us, its back to school season and its the time to kind of transition from summer -> into the school year SO here are 5 tips on how to seamlessly transition from ur hot girl summer into a successful school year…💬🎀

♡ get urself an established routine

get urself an established routine 2 weeks before u start cuz the earlier u start ur routine, the quicker it'll be for it to become a habit. adjust ur sleep schedule by sleeping a little earlier, and going to bed at a reasonable time.

♡ reflect and write down some goals

reflect on ur last school year, what u did good and what u did not so good and based on that formulate a couple goals that u can commit to and hold urself accountable to so that then ur making progress thats trackable.

♡ be organized

organize ur notion, ur space, ur school bag EVERYTHING. organization is so crucial especially for school and can protect u from feeling overwhelmed and cluttered.

♡ brief review

im not the kind of person that like summer work, in fact i hate it. but a week or two before school starts i'll do a quick refresh or research the classes that im going to be taking to kind of set myself up for success.

♡ fix ur attitude

stay POSITIVE and dont take on a bad approach to this school year before you've even started. believe in urself, ur discipline and ur abilities and stay in a good mindset.

i have lots of back to school content planned still that hasn't dropped including studying, resources etc so that we can slay this school year…💬🎀

BACK TO SCHOOL FASHION ;

details for back to school fashion/academic princess style :

♡ plaid

♡ grey, pink, black and white color scheme

♡ collared shirts and jackets

♡ pleated mini skirts

♡ sweaters

♡ headbands

♡ knee/thigh high socks

long bouncy curls with a headband that matches something on ur outfit. ballet flats and leg warmers. baby pink gloss and square shaped french tips, delicate necklaces and bracelets…💬🎀

when i think of pink academia fashion the first person that comes to my brain is cher from clueless. here are some of her most princess academia moments in the movie.

cher emphasizes literally everything i've talked about in the pink princess school fashion scheme. the pretty socks, fluffy pens, collared shirts and pink->white->grey color scheme. even the way that she does her hair is very very pretty and flattering.

WHATS MY HOROSCOPE (AUGUST 25-31) ;

♡ you’re the star of the show this month, virgo! it all begins on august 4th with a leo new moon that awakens your zone of spirituality. you could be focused on sacred release to clear space, welcoming in new beginnings. confidence is cultivated through deep soul-searching. on the same day, venus enters your sign, bringing a boost to your energy, creative projects, and style. mercury stations retrograde, also in virgo, encouraging self-reflection.

♡ for aries, it’s an exciting month ahead! the action begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of pleasure, inviting you to follow your passions! a playful approach in romance and creativity can inspire new beginnings that feel fun and stress-free. on the same day, venus enters virgo and visits your sector that rules self-care, encouraging you to embrace healthier habits. In the evening, mercury goes retrograde in virgo, signaling a time for you to get centered.

♡ for taurus, it’s an emotionally powerful month. it all begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of intuition, bringing major insights that lead you to new beginnings. with your environment in the spotlight as well, you might use this time to beautify your living space, pulling in bold animal prints and patterns. later in the day, love planet venus enters virgo, activating your zone of pleasure. take a practical approach to love, money, and creativity. then, mercury stations retrograde in virgo, urging you to release perfectionism and rest.

♡ for gemini, his month is full of connection! the magic starts on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your communication sector, inspiring you to shine your light, share your ideas, and express yourself. leo’s passion blends with the fresh slate of the new moon to bring you an exciting new path to explore. later, venus enters virgo, awakening your intuition so you can manifest! mercury stations retrograde in virgo as the evening comes to a close, marking a period of rest and awareness.

♡ for cancer, success is yours this month! it all begins on august 4th, when the new moon in leo visits your money zone, inspiring you to share your talents and build up your resources. the bold expression of your skills impresses others and serves as a beautiful boost of confidence for you too! you’ll crave more meaningful conversations when venus enters virgo, awakening your communication sector. mercury stations retrograde in virgo at the end of the day, signaling a time of required pause.

♡ for leo, it’s an expansive month! the excitement starts on august 4th, when a new moon in your sign ignites a path to new beginnings. you’re stepping into the most confident version of yourself! set intentions for the future with courage and inspiration. on the same day, venus enters practical virgo and visits your financial sector, helping you organize money matters and work projects. mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, encouraging you to embrace stress reduction and physical relaxation.

♡ for libra, it’s an enlightening month ahead, libra! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your friendship sector and invites you to step into the social spotlight. you could be making plans with friends or passionately helping others. set intentions for the future and remember that dreams do come true! venus enters virgo later to help you get grounded as you explore your emotional realm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo that night, highlighting the importance of practicality.

♡ for scorpio, prepare for a month of empowerment! the leo new moon on august 4th inspires you to showcase your talents. by doing so, important people take notice and doors of opportunity open. don’t be afraid to courageously share your expertise. venus enters virgo later in the day, enhancing your powers of negotiation as well as your charm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo before the day ends, signaling a need for patience.

♡ for sagittarius, it’s an adventurous month! the fun begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon lights up your travel zone, encouraging you to explore on physical, intellectual, and spiritual levels. embrace new beginnings that bring abundance into your life. venus enters virgo on the same day, inviting in well-deserved acknowledgment and opportunity. mercury stations retrograde in virgo, asking you to review your long-term commitments and responsibilities.

♡ for capricorn, it’s a month of personal growth, capricorn! the leo new moon on august 4th awakens your zone of transformation and brings change. you could be healing your relationship with money or crafting a plan to tackle debt. when you surrender into evolution, manifestations become reality. venus enters virgo later and lands in your adventure zone. seek out experiences that feel fun, expansive, and abundant. mercury goes retrograde in virgo before the night ends and asks you to slow down.

♡ for aquarius, your relationships are highlighted this month, aquarius! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your relationship zone and opens new paths in love. create heart-led manifestations and enjoy quality time connecting with others. venus enters virgo on the same day and visits your sector of intimacy, encouraging you to bond beyond the physical plane. communicate with care when mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of potential misunderstandings and snafus.

♡ for pisces, get ready to fall in love this month, pisces! it begins with the leo new moon on august 4th that encourages you to love the most important person of all: you! this is the time to take excellent care of your mind, body, and soul so you can feel rejuvenated. venus enters virgo the same day, activating your relationship zone. strengthen your bonds! mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of healing.

CELEBRITY GOSSIP - BLAKE LIVELY ;

this month the movie "it ends with us" was released starring blake lively and justin baldoni and it has been gaining LOTS of traction on the internet for a multitude of reasons. i haven't been to watch the movie yet but if u have, tell me how it was!

the reason why im going to be talking about this in the celebrity gossip section is because of the fiasco blake lively and how out of touch she is…💬🎀

blake is getting called out for how shes been acting during her press tour for it ends with us and her past actions and behaviors that rly showcase how tone deaf she is. the movie is based on the book it ends with us that was written by colleen hoover, and in the book it explores topics such as domestic violence, emotional abuse etc. because of the serious nature of the movie, her saying "grab ur friends, wear ur florals" was a tone mismatch.

a clip of her is going viral where she was asked by the interviewer on, what was the best way someone who understands the themes of the movie, could talk to her. and she responds with literal sarcasm. leaving everyone confused and kind of put off. furthermore during the filming for the movie about literal DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. she launches a haircare brand. which could just be unfortunate timing but i feel like with how good marketing is, this wasn't a coincidence but thats just my opinion.

the last thing i wanna talk about is an interview a while back when blake was pregnant. the interviewer congratulated her saying "congrats on ur little bump" which is so sweet. blake responds "congrats on YOUR little bump" which was SO uncalled for because one, the lady wasn't pregnant and two, the lady literally couldn't have kids. throughout the interview blake just continued to be absolutely obnoxious, ignoring the interviewers questions and just being such a horrible guest.

anyways i'd love to hear ur thoughts and opinions on this situation in the comments and if ur kinda curious about the celeb gossip i recommend watching this video bcuz d'angelo rly explains everything well.

STYLE DISSECTION MARILYN MONROE ;

marilyn monroe is an absolute ICON and legend in literally every form of the word. shes an amazing role model and something that i rly rly love about her is ur style and her beauty which is why im doing this month's style dissection on her…💬🎀

one of my favorite marilyn monroe outfits was her gorgeous deep burgandy silky dress in the film how to marry a millionaire. in this film we get the ICONIC diamonds are a girls best friend and honestly they're right. marilyn sports GORGEOUS diamond jewelry in this movie that rly tie her outfits together and give the air of luxury and opulence that is so so hard to recreate which is why no one can do it quite like marilyn.

marilyn rly made the iconic 1950s glam what it was. everything from her signature platinum blonde bob to her gorgeous, feminine allure. in her film gentlemen prefer blondes shes wearing an absolutely stunning orange dress that shows off her body. it has a super flowy mermaid cut at the bottom which compliments the snugness of the dress around her waist, hips and chest.

i could talk for HOURS about the fashion icon that marilyn monroe is but we dont have that kind of time in this years august issue of the it girls magazine…💬🎀

[6ix9inewiturmom]

can we? - Christopher Sturniolo

Summary: in which chris and you broke up but remained friends with benefits, but had a little scare..

Warnings: cursing, Chris x fem!reader, mentions of sex, drinking, break ups, and pregnancy.

A/N: HIIIIII, so i know a while ago someone asked if i could do my other fic where they get a positive pregnancy test instead of negative, but with a little twist :) i hope you enjoy and thank you all so much for the love i’ve received, i know i said i was back but im locking in chat :)

Chris and I had a weird relationship from the get-go, meeting on Tinder had a lot to do with that. Growing up I was never shown what real love was supposed to be, so I ended up always being with the wrong guys, unfortunately, I thought it would never have an impact on me, which to my surprise, it did. Opening up and love was always scary for me, when I met Chris, I was vulnerable, hopeless, and just broken, I wasn’t looking for anything serious when we met I was honestly just looking for friends with benefits. The universe played a big role in all that because I ended up falling in love with him. Unfortunately, because I was hurting from my unresolved childhood trauma and some other things mixed in the loop, I ended up screwing things up with Chris after 3 years we aren’t together, but considering he was a big chunk of my life and we were each other first everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, I taught that man how to fuck like a GOD, we both decided to remain friends and fuck buddies.

Occasionally Chris and I would spend the night with each other and chill together as friends, tonight happened to be one of those nights, Nick and Matt both learned not to ask too many questions about Chris and me or our situationship we had and my roommate, Bella, knew the same. Chris had finished filming a video and invited me over for the night to watch one of the new episodes of Baddies, which he knew was one of my favorite things to watch weekly, of course knowing us, we couldn’t even make it through the first 20 minutes before my clothes were off and he was balls deep in me. We both lay naked in his freshly clean sheets, bodies intertwined, his hand brushing through my hair, weirdly invested in the show. “wait so Chrisean isn’t on Baddies anymore? But her sister is? Where is Chrisean? She was my favorite crash out and she knew how to throw hands” he expresses.

“Okay so you know Chrisean and Blueface were together? Well, she had a baby and stuff so she’s got priorities now” I slightly laugh out.

“oh yeah speaking of babies, have you gotten your period yet? I know you’ve been on that birth control and I know we haven’t been practicing safe sex whatsoever” he says slightly leaning over to look at me as my eyes widen and my heart drops to my stomach. Shit. When Chris and I ended things I wasn’t the most responsible with my birth control and I wasn’t taking it as directed, I quickly shot up.

“fuck, Chris, do you still have that spare pregnancy test in your dresser? cause the box only had 2 and we’ve used 1 prior” I run my fingers through my hair resting my hands on my head.

“Y/N, chill your on birth control right? like isn’t the whole point of it is that you can get endlessly creampied and not worry about babies?” he rubs my warm back slightly

“Chris, so I may have mentioned this sooner but after we ended things I wasn’t very responsible about taking them… I would miss a couple of days here and there and then go to work and forget about them and” I sigh “fuck!” I slightly shout.

Chris gets up walks to the bedside table pulls out the test still wrapped in the blue wrapper and gives me a slight smile.

“oh thank fuck” I say snatching the test out of his hand running to the bathroom quickly and ripping the stick out of the plastic “AND IT’S THE DIGITAL ONE!” I squeal.

“so the one we don’t have to put a light on to read it?” he laughs pushing up his sweatpants where they hang onto his lower hips perfectly giving a view of his v-line and leaning against the frame of the door.

after peeing on the stick I stand up put the cap on it place it upside down, and look at Chris nervously. “do you mind throwing me something to wear? I’m feeling a little underdressed for the occasion” I joke.

Chris reached over to throw me something off his dresser, of course, it was his new unreleased sweat set from his brand. “you’ve always looked hot in my clothes” he smiled.

We both knew we weren’t together, we knew we shouldn’t be hanging out like this, and we knew we acted like we were. I mean he would pick me up at work to take me to lunch, drive me to and from work from time to time, and even kiss me before parting ways. We weren’t together but if anyone would look on the outside, they’d think we were. We weren’t together but could be having a baby? What would that make us? Where would we live? What would we do? What about his career? I sent myself down a spiral of thoughts while throwing on the clothes he gave me to wear.

“…what if we used my mom's name and like.. Y/N? Did you hear me?” he asked, clearly snapping me out of a trance of thoughts.

“oh um yeah, I heard you,” I say clearing my throat.

“Y/N, be for real, I can read you like the back of my hand, what’s going on in that cranium of yours?” he laughs walking closer to me and guiding me to sit on the floor with him.

“We aren’t together Chris... I could be pregnant” I sigh looking down and playing with my bracelet.

“so?” he laughs out “we’ll get a place together, maybe a cute little apartment, and raise a baby together” he places his hand on mine calming down any nerves i once had just with a simple touch.

“yeah I know but, what does that mean for us? Like are we gonna be roommates with a fucking baby? is our baby gonna grow up with two parents who live together and just aren’t together but they act like they are because they’re good at being troubled together? Like that’s no way to raise a baby Chris” my voice cracked.

“well, negative Nancy,” he laughed out “I was just thinking maybe if you are pregnant we could have 9 months to figure out shit within ourselves and make us, BETTER. Mom used to always tell us that if we wanted to make something work if one way didn’t work out the way we wanted, we tried something new, our last relationship didn’t work, so what if we changed something about it? but only if you're open to that” he says calmly. One thing I’ve always loved about Chris is that no matter how negative the situation was he was always the one who could turn a dark situation into something positive and always see the light in the end.

“Can we?” I look up at his blue eyes with a slight smile and small tears in my eyes.

“absolutely” he smiled back.

I sighed leaning my body weight against his “Would it be a bad thing if I was disappointed if the test is negative?”

“it’d be cool as shit to have a baby, I mean everyone we know has babies, well almost. Tara is Tara so she’s like our only friend who doesn’t as of right now, plus this is something we’ve always talked about” he smiled rubbing my shoulder with his hand.

The silence in the room wasn’t deafening, but it was comfort and warmth. I’ve always felt safe with him. I couldn’t imagine being in this situation with anyone else but him. I mean we’ve had baby names picked out since we first started dating. It’s something we both knew we wanted. MaryLou always wanted us to have babies, Nick and Matt just told us they didn’t want to be uncles at like 19, but they both would be happy regardless. I know Nick would wanna spoil the shit out of their niece or nephew.

“should we check?” chris breaks the silence.

I sigh very nervous but ready to face whatever it may be, “fuck it, let’s check” We both stood up, and he held my hand as I lifted the test and turned it towards us.

Pregnant

“oh shit,” my jaw dropped.

“oh…my…god” a small smile creeped through his lips. “Y/N?” he asked as my jaw was still on the floor with the test in my hand.

“I-I-I’m- I mean we- are, pregnant..” I stuttered dropping the test.

Chris saw this as an opportunity wrapped his arms around my waist gently, and hugged me. “you’re gonna be the best mother in the world, I know it, and I’ve always known that” he whispered.

my eyes watered as I wrapped my arms around his neck listening to his words. “you’re gonna be a dad” I laughed through my tears of joy.

“wait” he pulled away “does that mean you can’t call me daddy anymore? I mean I know you only do it when you’re super fucked up and drunk but like, I kinda enjoy it” It smiles slightly.

“chris!” I slap his arm softly.

“too soon?” he chuckled softly.

he grabbed me again carrying me gently to his bed and laying me down before plopping on the bed laying between my legs, holding my belly kissing it, and softly speaking “Can this thing hear me yet?” he looked up at me through his lashes.

“no I don’t think so, and that ‘thing’ is a baby Chris” I laughed softly.

“you know what I meant” he laughed before kissing my belly again and lying next to me.

“so when do we tell everyone? Like what do you wanna tell them? Like are we gonna make a cute box for everyone? Or like what? I have ideas on Pinterest and everything” I smiled softly looking over at him with his gaze focused on my stomach.

“Why don’t we worry about that a little later, as of right now, let’s keep this between us until we can get you to the doctor and get those cute black and white pictures of the little bean then we can decide” he kissed my forehead and leaned back patting his chest, signaling me to lay down on his chest, of course I obeyed and laid my head down on his chest as he wrapped his arm around my waist rubbing up and down on my waist.

Over the last couple of months, we’ve officially been broken up. My mind has been a mess, but for the first time, it felt calm and easy. I finally experienced a sense of quiet and peace in the world. It was just Chris, our little bean, and me. No one else knew, but it was perfect.

A/N pt 2: AHHHH CALL THE CHIROPRACTOR CAUSE IM BACK BITCHES!!! i hope yall enjoyed this fr fr, i love yall so much :)

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 3 - "weirdo" and vash's pronoun switching

disclaimer: my jp reading posts are all for triangulation purposes and nothing else. scanlating mangas is tough work. @-@ i know this.

"Weirdo"

the word 'weirdo' in 2024 english carries connotations of neutral-bad or positive depending on the context of the speaker. depending on how one curates their internet space, weirdo often leans more positively with the same meaning as eccentric, but not always.

however, but in JP, "weird" is more specific and often negative. there's the well known, hentai 変態 (ie. deviant, pervert, freak, extremely negative in tone), and in this case, kimochi warui 気持ち悪い (gross, off-putting, bad vibes). eccentrics are more as 変人 henjin and carries a more neutral tone.

in this panel here papa nebreska uses 気持ち悪い in katakana キモチワルイ in reaction to vash busting his ass saving people and putting out of harms' way. vash's vibes are so off putting to this wanted man he's actually creeped out.

this is particularly interesting to me bc the english translation didn't end up portraying how utterly weird vash's mindset is fully. it wasnt until wolfwood points out how flawed vash's pacifist mindset do i get a proper frame of reference of norms in this world, but i might be having skill issues in english comprehension. ;w;

Pronoun switching

quick. 俺 Ore! 僕 Boku! 私 Watashi! they all mean "I", and there's 2 spectrum of expressions going on here thats commonly believed. 1st being Masculinity to Femininity. what's the 2nd?

the answer is... Rudeness/Assertiveness to Politeness. and gosh does vash switch a lot between Boku and Ore in the first 4 chapters of this manga lmao.

(to be clear, while i am aware of trans hc thats very popular in the fandom, im not at all diminishing or talking about gender expression specifically. im talking about what vash is presenting himself as in context.)

so to perhaps oversimplify this, in JP the idea of politeness and hierarchy is so super duper important, its very built into the language itself. and Japanese is a very high context language. if someone of a higher or equal standing uses "Ore", its totally fine. but if someone of a lower standing uses "Ore", they've committed a social faux pas.

as an obvious example, if a fresh new employee approaches his Boss with "Ore", he's potentially getting dressing down in the company. maybe in front of his coworkers. if this employee forgoes polite speech (keigo) and uses a too Assertive and Casual speech, they've Really Fucked Up and are one foot out the door.

this is also tied up in gender to some extent, hence why girls using Ore is incredibly uncommon, but guys would use Watashi in certain contexts such as talking to their Boss. (woo woo the forces of hierarchy/patriarchy... or something.)

so. vash switches his pronouns for the same effect. when he uses Ore, he's making himself sound more assertive and confident. when he uses Boku, he's often making himself sound less threatening, smaller, open, and trying to avoid conflict.

sound familiar?

bc if you translated all of that into a character design instead of relying on just jp pronouns, we'd get TriStamp Vash.

slight spoilers, but this is even true in one of the tensest moments between vash and wolfwood, where the latter provokes vash and tears into his pacifism ideology. vash sticks with boku in this scene as he says his piece.

if he ever uses watashi, it's bc he wants to be polite straight out of the gate with an air of formality. (this is japanese manners and the proper approach to talking to strangers. mainly to get a feel for each others standing without offense until context changes.)

i also wanna point out maybe something obvious here but.

real life pronoun switching in japanese is a COMMON thing. no one ever really sticks to 1 pronoun bc of Good Manners and the aforementioned hierarchical systems in place. it is only mostly in anime/manga and video games where characters overly prefer 1 due to this being a good shorthand for characterization. this being how rude or polite they are, and in some cases, Gender.

[elainsgirl]

Time for a little rant:

I don’t know what’s going on with antis at the moment but its beginning to feel like elriels don’t have a safe place to make content without antis stalking and getting mad over said content or being petty and purposely finding ways to antagonise elriels.

Tumblr -> when elriels label a post “anti elucien/anti gwynriel - guess what! That post will contain content not made for gwynriel or elucien stans. That tag is placed for ANTIS to understand that it is not something you want to view if you positively ship GA/EL. Now. If you choose to click on said post anyways - you cannot throw a tantrum over what OP said (im looking at you eluciens who purposely view my anti elucien posts then get mad at me for talking negatively about elucien) bcs YOU chose to read it knowing it was not for you to see. You’re literally doing it to yourself. Same goes for Instagram - if you know you’re not an elriel stan, then dont go into elriel spaces and get butthurt over what you see. Same goes for tiktok. Dont view or interact with videos that are clearly not made for you. And if you want to share your opinion - do it respectfully. Same for twitter. Why on earth are you crashing out over a tweet someone made on THEIR account clearly not meant for you to see?

Its one thing if - hypothetically- I make a post and purposely tag it elucien/gwynriel - then Yh. You have the right to reply or share the post disagreeing or whatever else but when its tagged correctly or made on someone’s account that you know is clearly not for you, you do not have the right to get mad.

If you’re going to use someones tweet/post/video - you have two options. If you’re leaving their username visible for all to see, either grow up and tag the person or cut their username out. If you do show their username or use THEIR post to make your own - you cannot be upset when that person interacts with you. Be mature and accept it

Just as a side note: do antis not realise they’re embarrassing themselves when they say “oh yh this got sent into the chat! This pro elriel post was sent into the chat thats how I know off it” - why on earth are you admitting that 1) you’re stalking elriels and 2) purposely sharing pro elriel posts into anti chats - that is just pathetic. Its not something you admit publicly bcs it makes you look obsessed with elriels.

also. Ive come to the realisation antis don’t understand what the “block” button is for. Its not for you to block someone and then SS and spread BS about them and their posts just so they can’t interact with you bcs you’re too much of a coward. When you block someone - it means you dont want to see any content they make. Pls learn the purpose of the button.

This new wave of antis are so immature, petty and attention seeking its crazy.

[sydneymykah]

☆☆THE STRUGGLE OF ROUTINE ☆☆

✧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Some people can just get out of bed and automatically do what they need to do to get the day started. And the same people seem to be the ones we see the most on our screens. "My Morning Routine", "My weekly regimen", "What I eat in a day", and "My Nightly Routine". These people are seemingly put together and perfect like their said routines. But here you are slouched on your undone bed, still in your pajamas, wearing makeup from the day before after waking up after 12 pm. You meaning me, lmao. ☆...

☆The struggle of routine is something we all face regardless of what social media persists to tell us. But I don't really want to talk about how "social media is fake" because that's not even fully true. Some people really do live like this and have very structured routines for their day to day lives, granted it's what pays their bills but that's still technically their routine. But I'm more concerned about talking about how DIFFICULT it is to keep a constant routine. Especially in this weird time we live in.

ミ★I'm a perfectionist. I hate when things don't go the way I want and I tend to want things one way or not at all. But life doesn't live by those rules. Life will throw whatever the hell it wants at you, whenever it feels like it. As an individual you have to learn to work around it all. For me it's an inconsistent work schedule, minor (or major) inconveniences, mood swings, and of course the main culprit is laziness/lack of discipline.

☆We've all done it. On a random day of the week you're up way too late reflecting on your life and what you're doing with it. You suddenly feel the hyperactive urge to fix everything about yourself. You want the perfect body before the summer. You want your hair to grow longer faster. You want to get all your life goals written down and planned out dow not the last minute. You want to post a 1 minute video everyday on TikTok at exactly 3 pm EST and post at least 4 pictures to your instagram every other day. So you open the notes app and make an extremely specific, unrealistic, and way too intense routine to follow everyday. You set reminders, add 30 new alarms to your phone, you fill your amazon cart with stuff you believe you'll defiantly use. And after you make yet another playlist of YouTube workout videos you go to bed confident your life is gonna change forever after this...

Now one of two things happen:

You completely throw away the routine the minute you wake up the next day

Or, you do it for a few days but eventually burnout and find yourself back where you were before, now with just more useless junk you have no room for...

ミ★I have personally been both. But we can all empathize with this because if maintaining a routine was easy it wouldn't be such a successful phenomenon online. Out of the millions of views under "my morning routine" posts, many, if not majority, of them are people who wish they can live the way these people do. I think we as people have developed mindsets that are negative first, positive later. Ever since the quarantine we've been used to online overconsumption. The idea that "more is better", and the scare that was the virus has sparked this fear in us that is wasted time. Hence us wanting to build new giant routines in the middle of the night just to eventually abandon it because our minds and bodies don't evolve or develop like that overnight. Most the time the routines are grueling and just makes us feel exhausted over accomplished. When we don't see immediate change a lot people, including myself, give up then and there.

☆Im not here to tell you how to keep a constant routine or how to become more disciplined because all that information is in the palm of your hands. Honestly at the end of the day it's about your mindset. Realizing what is around you and remembering the reality you live in. You want that body? You want that hair growth? You want to post? It's all possible but here's where the issue lies:

ミ★We forget to forgive ourselves and to be patient with ourselves. We fall under the pressure to perform for social media as well. In this digital age we try to make social media real life 24/7 and put real life on the back burner. Everything must be aesthetic or else! Or if you can't keep a constant routine for a week you're a failure! But the reality is no one just wakes up in their perfect aesthetic one day and has this perfect routine down pat the first time. Another thing that we keep doing is what everyone else is doing. Another example of putting the online first before real life. We've forgotten the beauty of growth, and how things develop overtime. It reminds me of how small artists have the potential to blow up overnight. They suddenly have all these eyes on them and then the GP turns on them simply because their exceptions don't match the artist's personal growth. I think we do the same to ourselves. But regardless of what other people, social media or even what you might even say to yourself the best way to find a good routine is get to know yourself, not someone else. And to not go by others expectations. It's good to hold yourself to a high regard and to make ambitious goals. But you should remind yourself that you want this to last and you don't want to burn yourself out trying to perfect your life like it's a speed run.

☆When following creators who makes content like this I advise to follow people you relate to first. Not saying you can't follow those extremely aesthetic ASMR morning/Night routine videos because hell I watch them too. But know that I watch them for simply that. I've come to the point where I can watch that stuff and not feel incompetent or that I'm failing in life but I digress. Don't pay attention to the many trends and what's hot, just look for people who you might see yourself in, or people who have qualities similar to yours. Physically, mentally, ect. Because if you're a black girl who wants to know how to do a specific 4C hairstyle you're not going to the white girl influencers for tutorials are you? For me I watch Jackie Aina. Her and I don't even have the same tastes in certain aspects, specifically clothing and home decor but she reminds me a lot of myself and some of my values. Her content inspires me but doesn't make me feel like I need to reinvent myself overnight. That's not realistic nor healthy. I think subjecting yourself to that will just give you an identity crisis. Her content helps me feel confident and you should follow people like that too.

ミ★My purpose of this post is not "continue to be a slob" (I'm a Taurus stellium and Venusian. Girl we don't do that over 'chere.) it's to remind and to encourage. A reminder that what you see online isn't what real life is 24/7. Doesn't mean it's all fake, it just means that life doesn't just look like one thing. Social media just tends to make our vision a bit tunneled. Yes, some peoples lives surround what they eat in a day, what they do when they get out of bed, and the steps they follow in their nighttime skincare routine. But our attachment and overconsumption to these types of creators constantly fails to remind us that they're still human. Hell even when the human creators tell y'all "hey I'm human" they still aren't treated as such but guess what? They are! So are you. You are still human. Finding a groove that works for you will take time. And many times you will fail. You will probably forget to do something, you won't have the time for certain tasks, or an inconvenience will pop up out of no where that knocks you off course. But if at first you don't succeed, try again. Social media picture perfect propaganda (lol) has made us forget that life happens and that we will essentially always struggle with routine. Some things stick, some things don't. Some routines last a long time, some only stay for a day. We live in an age where everyone's trying to move as fast as they can to keep with the trends, keep up appearances, and to make up for lost time. And as much as I love the thrill of the fast life, how can I expect to see my growth, what I like, what needs changing and how to fall into a good rhythm when I'm too busy trying to keep up.

✧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Xoxo, Sydney Mykah -☆

[heavenlycloud]

all my thoughts, they're shaped like you: huh yunjin x fem! reader

request: i was wondering if you could write smth about yunjin and reader having a sleepover? it can be a smut or not js however you'd like <3

a/n: i decided to write this as sfw instead of smut just bc im...not confident in my smut writing abilities rn so i hope this will suffice! enjoy and thank you so much for requesting. *please note all pictures and videos are used for creative reference to give readers a visual of hair, makeup, clothes, shoes, etc. ONLY*

guilty was your first comeback in six months and by far your most successful since your debut four years ago. originally the song was to go to one of your seniors, but it was pushed your way when another caught his attention. the song was much more mature than the other songs you'd put out in the past which increased attention towards this new side of you as an artist. the past four weeks were filled with long schedules of music and variety show appearances, photoshoots, and too many fansigns to count. however, today was the last day of schedules before you got a two week long break to rest and recover.

you stood in front of your manager who was pressing you to take pictures for instagram before you got whisked away elsewhere. he smiled as you posed and the rest of your staff members made positive comments about you and your performance outfit. you didn't even bother settling back into your dressing room because not even two seconds later there was a knock at the door. you rushed over to open it and a small face peeked through as you beamed from ear to ear.

eunchae shyly greeted your staff members and you before she stepped back and onced you over with a gasp, "you're so pretty!" you reached forward and pulled her into a hug, "you're so precious oh my god." she giggled and led you down the hallway to the room where she films Eunchae's Star Diary. when you both got inside she motioned for you to sit down and she followed behind you.

for a moment there was silence after you introduced yourself before you and eunchae began laughing and you admitted in english, "i'm sorry i don't want to be awkward...it's this is just a little funny to me because we've never actually met." eunchae agreed and answered in korean, "yeah this is our first time meeting, but i feel like i know about you a lot because yunjin unnie talks about you all the time." similar to a professional she continued, "with your new comeback, can you tell us a little bit about the album and your favorite song?" you nodded and explained more professionally, "guilty is my first album since six months ago. it's also a different sound than what i've put out before. this time i wanted to focus on something that everyone can connect with."

eunchae looked at you with wide eyes and prompted you to continue so you added, "guilt is an emotion that everyone has to some extent or another. it's a feeling that has a negative connotation and that's something i wanted to change. of course singing about positive things is good, but i think singing about negative things and presenting them in a beautiful way is equally as important. more specifically, my single guilty’ is about a selfish love that hurts the other person. it’s not coming from my experience, but i used it as a way to define what love is and express it on stage.”

the younger girl looked at you and sighed, "everything you say sounds so smart." you laughed and shyly dismissed the complement out of habit before she asked you, "who was the first person to hear the single?" you side eyed her and she grinned because she already knew the answer but for the sake of her show you sighed, "huh yunjin of le sserafim." eunchae pointed and laughed at your facial expression and you playfully rolled your eyes but she shared happily, "yunjin unnie has been singing the song nonstop since it came out. when it dropped she was telling all of us in the dorm that she heard it first! she kept bragging that it was so good but didn't tell us any hints! but it was worth the wait because the comeback is incredible, unnie!" heat bloomed in your chest at the thought of yunjin listening to your music and bragging about how talented you were to those closest to her.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

the minute you got back into your apartment after your schedule all of your messages came rushing into your notifications. your best friends had blown up your phone all day which honestly wasn't new, but scrolling through 100+ messages was kinda annoying when you were tired. then, like clockwork your phone started ringing and you answered to see one of your best friends on your screen, "hey i don't know if you saw somi's texts or not but we're having a sleepover at your place tonight." immediately you responded, "who is we? you speak french now?" on the other line she laughed and said, "don't be like that y/n."

you whined, "aeri! i just finished promotions im TIRED! and why my place and not somi's?" aeri let out a small huff and said, "somi's apartment flooded like ten minutes ago so we can't stay there. you know the rest of us aren't allowed people to stay overni-" you cut her off immediately, "hold on it's not just you and somi?" aeri looked off to the side and bit her lip, "uh...so funny story..." before she could answer someone snatched her phone and continued, "jen is coming too." you spat out the water you were sipping, "WHY WOULD YOU INVITE YUNJIN?!" somi answered casually, not taking her eyes off of the road, "i thought you would've worked stuff out by now. besides it's kinda shitty if we have a sleepover and exclude one person. it's called a friend group for a reason, right?" you huffed, "yeah i guess..."

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

the friend group started just as you and giselle when she entered SM entertainment back in December of 2019. the two of you clicked immediately even though you were technically her senior, having debuted that past summer. along with her members, they were the only girls close to your age in the entire company so you were quick to befriend them as soon as you were allowed. months after meeting giselle, you met somi who debuted a month before you as a soloist. then you introduced the two and the three of you were a trio of best friends...until yunjin came into the picture.

you and yunjin were familiar with one another but you only met once at a music show when you were promoting at the same time. from there you introduced her to somi and aeri, and she was added into the friend group. once you added her into the small bunch of friends you all were complete, and dubbed, The Plastics, by fans.

for the most part everything was fine with you four except that there were times when it was hard to meet up because of busy schedules. however, you started trying to distance yourself a bit when you realized that you had a crush on yunjin. the cardinal rule of friend groups was don't date other people in the same group. despite aeri and somi swearing up and down to you that yunjin liked you back, you refused to feed into it. your best friends weren't liars but you just couldn't bring yourself to believe them for whatever reason. besides even if you confessed to yunjin you didn't think much would come of it besides a ruined friend group. so you decided that you were just going to continue trying to compartmentalize your feelings and gaslighting yourself into thinking you didn't like her.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

you ran to your room trying to get everything ready for your friends, the least you could do is have a clean apartment. the vaccuum drowned out the sounds of the city streets below your building as you dragged it across your area rug. you hummed along to oceanfromtheblue that blasted through your headphones, further muting the noise from the outside world. unbeknownst to you, yunjin had already entered your apartment. she got in using the 10 digit code on your door that she memorized just in case because that's what friends do...right?

a pair of hands gently caught your hips as you backed up with the vaccuum in hand making you scream and jump. you whipped around to see yunjin standing before you looking perfect as usual. she was only in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie with those ugg slippers she liked to leave in your apartment for when she visited you. even in a basic dressed down outfit she still looked like an angel with her red hair pulled into a messy bun with a few loose strands framing her face. the pair of glasses she wore sat low on her nose causing her to push them up before pulling you into a hug. she laughed and apologized, "y/n i'm sorry! i called out your name a few times i thought you would have heard me." you let out the breath you'd been holding and assured her, "no it's fine i shouldn't have had my headphones this loud..."

there was an awkward silence and her eyes found yours bringing out a pinkish hue to her cheeks that was only reserved for you. her hands remained on your hips and you brushed a piece of her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. the simple action sent butterflies straight to her stomach and made her catch her lip between her teeth. neither of you knew where this was headed but right before you two could figure it out, the front door swing open and aeri entered with somi, "HEY BITCHES- oh." the two of you jumped and yunjin inched away from you, "heyyyy!" somi motioned between the two of you, "did we just interrupt something or?" immediately you refused, "no we were just um... yeah anyways hey guys." you paused and realized the two let themselves in, "wait- how did you two get inside?" yunjin and your manager were the only two people who knew the password for your apartment so how did they manage to get in?"

somi pointed to her phone and said, "i wrote it down the last time yunjin and i were over. the real question is why does yunjin know it and we don't. i thought we were friends." the blonde placed her hands on her hips and pouted to which aeri added, "how do you even remember all those numbers anyways?" yunjin responded, "i memorized it after seeing y/n do it once. and it's not hard, i just remember important things." both aeri and somi shared a glance and you joked, "so basically i need to make a new passcode. got it." the three of them laughed and put their bags down so you could start your plans for the night.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

yunjin pulled out a vlogging camera from her bag and said, "i know we usually have a 'no work stuff' policy for our hangouts but i have to vlog and this is the only interesting thing i've done all week." your other friends started getting baking utensils and ingredients out of your pantry and cabinets while you preheated your oven.

the american idol stood in front of the camera and started speaking, "hi everyone! today i'm with my friends- and we're going to do the blind, mute, deaf challenge while cooking. y/n is being so kind to let us use her kitchen today!" you fake side eyed her and muttered, "you all showed up on my doorstep unannounced but okay." the three laughed and finished setting up the things you'd need.

since it was yunjin's vlog she decided how roles were split up and it was through rock paper scissors: aeri was deaf, somi and you were blind, yunjin was mute. for the sake of your kitchen and everyone's safety she decided to have two people who weren't allowed to speak. before starting the challenge yunjin explained, "so we already have the roles assigned. basically we are going to try to cook dinner together with our roles and we aren't allowed to switch or break character. so aeri is deaf- she already has her headphones on." she pointed the camera to aeri who was in her own world listening to some tyga song on blast, not paying attention to anyone else. yunjin continued, "somi and y/n are blind- wait do we have a blindfold?" she turned to you and you shook your head, "why would i have a blindfold? somi smirked and winked, "i have many blindfolds." yunjin slapped her arm and she laughed, "what?" you huffed in fake annoyance, "we should have made her one of the mute ones. yunjin finished explaining, "and i'm mute so i'm going to be silent because i didn't want to tape my face. anyways, aeri is the only one that can see the recipe and we have to follow her directions." you ended up finding two scarves in one of your drawers to tie around your and somi's heads and you all started the challenge.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

"OKAY! BOIL THE POT OF WATER!" aeri shouted loudly making you flinch at the sudden outburst. you reached your hands in front of you as you cautiously dug a pot out from your cabinet and placed it in somi's hands. the blonde started to slowly walk to your sink, hitting the front of it with a soft thud and a whine while the rest of you laughed. somi filled the pot up and gently walked it back with the help of yunjin before she turned on the stove. the rest of it went like this, yunjin slightly helping you while aeri screamed the directions to you all.

when it came to cutting the chicken somi backed away from the counter, "i don't wanna touch it ew." you muttered, "you big baby." aeri asked in confusion, "YOU SAID YOU HATE ME?" the three of you burst out laughing while aeri stood still confused, looking around then into yunjin's camera as if it would talk back to her. you stood in front of the cutting board with the raw chicken and grabbed the knife that was within reach. you thought aloud, "this is probably a bad idea having the blind one do this part of the challenge but...i have bandaids."

somi was busy trying to drain the pasta from the water with the help of aeri guiding her as yunjin nervously watched you handle the knife and raw meat. yunjin tensed as she watched you nearly cut your finger once and then placed a hand on your arm. this time you didn't jump at her touch and let her come behind you. her hands placed gently atop yours and you giggled before playfully asking, "oh my god what is this? so romantic." beside you somi and aeri pretended to gag, somi not even facing the right direction as she teased you. when you both finished cutting the meat, yunjin moved from behind you and immediately you missed her body pressed against yours.

the remainder of you all cooking was a hot mess. from aeri forgetting she was in charge of instructions to take mini dance breaks, to somi trying to spoon in pasta water into the sauce with a fork by accident, yunjin trying to mime out her questions about the recipe to aeri, and you walking smack into the open refrigerator door- the whole thing was a mess. but an entertaining one that fans would love to watch once it was uploaded. somehow by some miracle you all managed to make the food exactly how it was supposed to taste which paid off at the end.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

hours passed and aeri and somi had fallen asleep after crying their eyes out to the notebook that just finished playing. you poked aeri with your foot and her head lolled to the side limply making you and yunjin laugh. you pointed to your tv and asked, "did you like the movie?" the red aired woman nodded and mumbled quietly, "yeah, it was good. i understand the hype now but it was sad too. i love a happy ending but leading up to it was sad, you know?" you agreed and admitted, "i was mad when they made me watch it for the first time so you're better than me. all of that emotion just for me to get something kinda nice at the end, it was exhausting." she hummed in agreement and you both fell silent.

yunjin's hands brushed your hair gently, the softness of your silk press beneath her fingers was different from the way you usually wore it. unlike when most people touched your hair, you didn't pull away or dodge her hands running through the strands. instead you scooted closer to her and smiled when she began dutch braiding one of the sides on your head. the two of you basked in the quiet which was the first of it's kind tonight.

there was a small snag in your hair that caused you to almost whimper when her long fingers tugged at it. yunjin murmured an apology and pressed a gentle kiss to the spot before continuing. she then spoke up, "imagine just...forgetting who you are and everyone you love like that."

you didn't think before answering, "i almost did. when i left home and came here. i was around people that said i needed to leave my old life behind if i wanted to be successful here. i was naive and thought it was true, that my past would hold me back so i tried to let it all go. i only realized they were wrong after i was all alone." yunjin began braiding the other side of your head and asked, "so how'd you fix it?" you answered, "i met people who were like me and i made friends and talked to people. i tried to do things that reminded me of home, like being around you guys." yunjin finished your two braids and you turned around to see her smiling at you fondly. she could see the slight pain hidden behind your gaze as you recall one of the harder times in your life.

yunjin sighed and blurted out, "you smell like home." for a moment she froze and you pulled away and asked, "like new york? cuz that's not a complement if i smell like a new york street." yunjin laughed and answered nervously, "no you just...i don't know you're just- whenever i'm with you i feel at home." she moved down to the floor mattress you laid out earlier that night, knowing somi and aeri would be laid out on the couch like they are now.

you laid side by side as you told yunjin, "it feels like that with you too, like i'm back in the states just living without worries like now." yunjin bit her lip debating on if she wanted to do this now, but she caved into herself, "that's not what i meant but it's okay." you turned to face her, now laying on your side as you asked, "what did you mean then?"

yunjin felt her heart begin to race and she tried to brush it off, "no there's nothing." but you were determined to understand what she meant so you asked, "no, talk to me. what's going on in your head? tell me. i want to know, i want to know everything about you." of course yunjin knew that you weren't ever going to force her to speak, so she still had an out if she wanted to just not continue the conversation. however, she was tired doing this same dance with you where she almost admitted her feelings then ran away at the last minute. she knew that even if you didn't feel the same way that you wouldn't let that ruin the friendship you already have so she bit the bullet.

there was a pause then yunjin huffed and confessed "when i'm with you i feel safe, like i have nothing to worry about. i can just be myself and i know you'll never judge me or leave because i express myself the way i want to. whenever i'm not with you, you're still living in my head...all of my thoughts, they're shaped like you. i love you and i love being around you and being with you and i never want to leave your side which is why i try not to come too close because i can't risk fucking this up. but here i am telling you what i told myself i'd take to the grave so...just promise me if this screwed everything up and judging by your silence i think it did- just pretend it never happened and leave somi and aeri out of thi-" you refused to let her talk herself into thinking she ruined everything, "i love you too."

yunjin's breath caught in her throat and you repeated, "i love you too, huh yunjin. i love you so much and i love being around you and with you too." she sat up so she was upright then looked back down at you until you were sitting beside her. the small nightlight on your hallway outlet was the only thing allowing you to see her eyes locked on yours. you inched closer to her and brought your arms to rest on her shoulders while her hands were on your waist. her long fingernails scratched the ribbing of your tank top while your fingers twirled with a piece of her hair.

her forehead pressed against yours and you whispered, "what does this make us then?" yunjin shrugged and giggled which made you smile, "i dunno but we can figure it out together?" you asked, "yeah?" she nodded and you noticed how she eyed your two friends who were asleep tangled together yet half off the couch. she looked back at you and asked, "so when do we tell them?" you scrunched your nose and placed a gentle peck on yunjin's lips. the red haired woman paused then kissed you twice more, "who says we have to?" right when you pressed your lips against hers for the last time, a bright flash lit up your entire living room. you both looked over and aeri smacked somi's arm as she soft whisper yelled, "what part of NO FLASH did you not understand?" the two smiled as big as they could from ear to ear before yunjin let out a huff and sighed, "you all suck."

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[the-moon-files]

Waaaa, I LOVE your writing for Linked Universe! >w< I've never thought about the trope of humans as space orcs, but I love it now djfngd- If you don't mind me asking, is there anything that the reader might be weak to (comedic or otherwise)? Or is he basically indestructible/immune to a lot of things?

sorry for late reply!! ;-; thank u sm for saying that abt my writing, and yess yesss my humans v hylians au agenda is spreading lets gooo!!!

(bro u know ur desperate for gifs when ur making ur own atp jfc 💀)

Sun: Guide!Reader, Masc Male Reader (he/him)

Orbit: LONG AS HELL Headcanons-ish, Humans are not hylians AU

Stars: Classic Chain of Links, not specific

Comets & Meteors: CWs: mild cussing, typical Loz violence, weight is mentioned as a weakness/detriment,

& TWs: Possible weight trigger, reader is described as heavy and weight has a negative impact on environment, but in a way thats meant to convey they "weigh more" bc theyre human in comparison to hylians/hylian built things ( for ex: hylians are hollow boned compared to humans).

Please stop reading at line "alright thats all for sleeping for rn, i could keep going but i wanna get to weight issue a little bit even tho ive got less for it" if you want to avoid explicit details of this.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so I could see this being both crack and angst fuel tbh

ive talked abt this somewhat on other posts/asks, but figured i could really get into all the potential weaknesses over here since ive gotten a lot of ideas abt it!

so a quick list of things ive thought of that could be weaknesses, both based on like, if this were a “video game to real world” format for us, coming from earth, and other junk ill explain

in no particular order, some weakness ideas ive had (or other anons tbh!):

weight, much heavier than Links/avg hylian (sink to bottom when swimming/cant ride their horses/cant be carried out when hurt/sick/etc.)

slow healing when u do get injured, compared to quick healing hylians who can just eat food to get better quicker

magic absorption (too much juice, body not accustomed, get sick, like eating too much magic food/using too much of magic tools/weapons)

or magic negation (cant get healed by magic, for ex: if a dragon is all magic, then u cant ride it, or if food is magical u cant eat it)

easy to get sick (new environment/ppl/area/etc.)

fall damage (tho greater height) is still applicable

hylians dont have the same pack-bonding/affection/social needs as humans, like how Wild + most Links could do their whole adventure by themselves, rarely talking to anyone, if you’ve ever seen the survival show “Alone”, one of the first things that get them to quit isnt the terrain/little food (tho thats usually next), its the fact they get lonely and miss their spouses/family/friends, sad af, youd have to assault the links for attention and hope ur not annoying the fuck outta them all the time 😭😭

stamina, ur stuck w/whatever u had before getting whisked away (for example: u just have to hope ur immune to guardian beams bc u may not be able to outrun one 💀, or just bc u can swim against the tide doesnt mean u can do so for very long, depending on ur stamnia)

not rlly a weakness, but u having a different perception of what’s “too little” clothing compared to the medieval time period hylians lmao

needing more sleep than hylians, from how in game they either outright dont need sleep, can go with only a few hours and fight Ganon, or other nonsense around sleeping, ACTUALLY also hylians being able to sleep anywhere in any position, whereas u need a good 8-9 hours every night to function normally (u cant rlly take shifts at night w/o getting fucked) and u also need a half-decent sleeping bag/not hardass ground to sleep on w/o getting morning dew soaking u thru (ive been on many misadventures camping, so i could rlly get into it when it comes to wilderness camping yall, like im not high maintenance but there are def some bare minimum things u need to function in the wild, trust me guys, its a thing/pet peeve of mine to get into how a 10 person constant camping trip would acc function 💀)

if you’ve got any other ideas, pls comment them or shoot an ask my way! these were all i could think of for rn

so im just gonna pick the ones ive expanded the least on in other posts, like the sleeping thing, weight thing, and im abt to do another ask (🥺<33) abt the human culture v hylian thing so thatll do for now

SO to continue the rlly long sleep weakness (srry)

to my credit, ive been tent camping pretty frequent in past couple years, with either my sibling, or sib and a friend, in the ruralness of our homestate (we’re in southern part of US)

like as a quick rundown of my creditable-ness, bc im sure ur like “moon. nobody cares what u have to say, ur prob chronically online bro” nah, dude, read this bs:

U can skip this if u just trust me, this is just a mildly entertaining lore dump of mine for proof i know anything at all abt tent camping:

for ref, ive: slept all night in a hammock w/a sheet bc the air mattress deflated/was sleeping on the ground otherwise which is borderline impossible to do even when exhausted ive found out, a lightning storm rolled in, i just kept sleeping, had to pack up tent in middle of the night bc it slowly got flooded bc rain got into tent, had to park on a random overgrown country road (no GPS) to car-camp for the night bc no campsite was found, have had to constantly put up tent in complete darkness bc its very hard to get my sibling and me to a campsite when theres still daylight for some reason?? lol, began to worry for hypothermia when we camped near mountains bc it got too cold to tent camp, had to intensely cuddle for warmth w/friend in truck bed, while sib was inside the car and still couldnt get warm, and it was so cold even then that it kept waking us up until we left at like 4-5am bc it got light enough for us to see to drive away 💀

ANYWAY, now that ive gotten my obligatory “i touch grass” out of the way,

(and also i def plan to use these experiences as future fic scenes, so easter egg if u read this then my fics later lmao)

sleeping is literally the first issue u gotta deal w/in going constant camping w/these guys lmao

and u bet ur ass they all find it kinda funny that u need such specific sleeping stuff when ur nigh indestructible the rest of the time

but its honest to god not even that much, it just is for hylians

so they can just sleep on rocks, flat ground, tree roots, u name it these crazy elves can do it, esp since the Links r adventurers so im sure theyre better at it than normal hylians

they dont need a tent, they barely need sleeping bags, bc the cold hard ground is legit their home 💀

the only reason they have padding at all is bc theyre more sensitive to temperature than u, so theyre more bundled up on breezy nights/for morning dew chill time

(which u found to ur horror they just dont put anything down but like a sheet when its warm weather, mostly for keeping dirt off them)

meanwhile ur like?? get a tent??? we have Wild’s slate to store it we dont even have to carry it????

and bc theyre made for hylians, the tents just like a ceiling w/poles 💀

ur out here like, “bro this would keep u more warm if there were yknow, walls. and a floor.”

which u then have to force the combined skills of Legend, Wild and Four to help u make a real tent

Legend has absolutely taken to calling you Sleeping Beauty/Princey bc of this, and the fact that u have to layer like 2 sleeping bags to not feel rocks on ur back (bc they only need it for warmth not cushioning, its thinner than human made ones)

u also have to force Time + Wars to acknowledge that u guys needs to put the tent on flat ground, and cant just sprawl out over a bunch of tree roots goddamit-

when u first learn what the watch schedule is, it sounds like actual hell.

each shift is like 4 hours, and everyone is awake and ready to go at like 5 or 6 am (the 6am is for teh Links that “sleep in” 💀)

and thats putting them at going to sleep at like 11 or midnight, bc hylians need way less sleep than ur human ass,

which the poor said hylians also find out the hard way when they go to wake the single human man on their team up, and u just outright cuss them out, hit the nearest link, rain hell on them + seem like ur drunk to them?? then just go back to sleep???

and theyre all like “wtf just happened to our guide, he’s usually so nice??”

only to realize after u all have a sit down abt the sleeping differences issues, after what theyre calling “The Sleeping Guide Incident” 💀

hylians snap awake only a few minutes after being awake (like how in SS/Oot/Botw etc u can be a little sleepy but game mechanics let u get up pretty quick)

and u need more sleep, so they just adjust and know now u need whatever u can get tbh, so ur not allowed to go on night shifts,

along w/being allowed to ride on Epona + get piggy back sleep on a Link if they rlly need to move and u havent gotten all ur required sleep yet

(tho u do try and compensate by going to sleep earlier)

(they would never tell u but, they lowkey fight/rock paper scissors who gets to carry u in the morning, Wind is the ref lol)

also hylians can sleep like a rock thru most anything, along w/this adventure which easily keeps u tired so ur ready to knock out every night,

this is why its important for someone to take watch, bc i think unless they outright get hit by a monster/shaken by another hylian, most links dont get up when sleeping no matter what

which makes sense, if theyre going to sleep so little, they prob need as much uninterrupted sleep as possible,

but just bc they can sleep thru lynel stomping doesnt mean u can, which is another adjustement they make when they choose a place to sleep at night, making sure its not a loud spot or smth, and bc u now have to sleep earlier to keep up w/their early ass times,

when the Links are all chilling around camp, they make sure to keep pretty quiet so u can sleep well <3

alright thats all for sleeping for rn, i could keep going but i wanna get to weight issue a little bit even tho ive got less for it

i mentioned it in other posts that hylians are lighter than humans, but i mostly focused on it going one way if that makes sense? like now im taking it in the way of like Humans are heavier than hylians, if that makes more sense??

u cant ride horses, at least not for very long lmao

same goes for loftwings, if u can even get on for any amount of time, bc they presumably have hollow bones so theyd be even more sensitive to ur weight than horses

omg when it comes to puzzles, and theres like weights involved, u absolutely get used as an additional weight, both bad and good tbh

bc im familiar w/botw im using it as a base, but like how shrines need a metal box or two to put on buttons to weigh them down, but it gets tricky, or u dont have one right away, Wild just uses you 💀

like u need some exact amount of metal things for this one scale puzzle, and instead u just, sit on it to sink it all the way down so the Link on the other side can reach the platform LMAO

omg the amount of battles that could just be won bc u used ur body weight against a monster lol

THE SCENE OF U AND A HINOX SQUARING UP TO LIKE SUMO WRESTLE AND U WIN W/UR WEIGHT LMAOO

just run at a lynel, dodging arrows, and just like, successfully full-body tackle it bc it feels like it has the same weight as a large dog, like a husky or smth 💀

u act like a bomb when u throw urself off cliffs bc u dont get fall damage easy, so u can manage like a ten-story building drop u found out w/o a scratch, but u cause a crater around u bc of ur impact lmao

Wild/Wind/Rulie/Legend are all having the time of their lives having u cannonball into the ground next to monster camps bc ur just a human bomb atp

kno this was less weakness focused but heres one more rough weakness of it,

u all have to be VERY careful around bridges or thin strips of land, or like crossing tree branches, etc. w/you bc ur weight may make it not possible cross w/o ridiculously being this single human person bringing an entire bridge down 💀

think the only way u could fix this glaring issue is if u outright jumped across, which even tho ur basically superpowered bc ur so strong here so youd have to fuck up pretty bad to not make it,

poor boys get worried sick anyway and try to avoid bridges if they can, they only trust ones that are like stone built up from the ground to carry you

this also sucks when its like a rope bridge across like a huge gap or like a small valley or smth, bc not only do u not have a landing spot in the immediate area, but now u have to reroute until u can find a spot that lets u basically jump across the gap lmao

on one hand, the Chain r still anxious letting u go alone to sometimes find that different route, but also if anyone went w/u youd just have to piggyback them while doing that, and its not like theyd be that helpful besides moral support maybe lmao

but u dont mind that and none of them can stand being seperated from u w/o knowing at least one Link is w/u, so u usually go ahead and piggyback Wind or Four (one of the lightest) find a route and leap ur way to the other side lol

u also found out the hard way that ur weight affects hylian made buildings, bc they can be made out of not as dense/strong woods, like especially things like floors/beds/chairs/etc stuff that would be made to take hylian weight

the absolute insanity the first time u guys went to an inn, and u crushed both the steps leading into the inn, a barstool, a chair, and later that night ur bedframe just from gently laying on it 💀

the innkeeper realized and re-arranged so u guys were on first floor so u wouldnt have to go up steps, and was luckily very understanding abt u being a different weightier race (Time and you still tipped him rupees to help pay for damage 😭)

u had to literally go back outside to sleep bc u were worried if u slept on the floor it slowly break overnight LMAO

but Wind/Wild/Four/Rulie/Twi were all sweet enough to come w/you to sleep outside too lol (they were more nature inclined anyway, even tho u insisted they take advantage of the beds)

this was also absolutely hilarious for the others to wake up to in the morning, bc Time/Wars/Sky/Legend had already gone to bed,

so they just walk out the inn, all confused why the innkeeper just pointed outside when they asked where the others went, and they jsut open the front door (w/still broken steps bc u had to exit 💀)

to see u guys camped out on the lawn ASHFDFL

☆

😃. well that got out of hand, and its getting late for me so I may have 10x the amount of spelling/grammar mistakes more than usual, and it may have completely lost the plot in some points so-!

i hope that was smth for u to at least chew on anon, and sorry i overdid it jfccc

have a great rest of ur week anon, and tysm for the ask!! :D

comments/commentary in tags/feeback at all keep me alive, so pls leave one w/whatever u think!!

Peace out,

🌙

[peppermint-moss]

ok dumb question but. i loooove ur thrushpelt amv ive watched it so many times and i want to get into doing similar videos maybe?? im really new to sophisticated editing software so... how do you do that like, sun line spinning effect in the background at 1:42 and also later in the video thank u soo much 👉👈

heres how i did it for that video:

draw your sun and export it as png file

put it into your editing program (I'm using da vinci resolve)

move the anchor point into the centre of your sun

4. place a keyframe for "rotation angle" at the start of the png (or whenever you want your sun to start spinning). Wherever (or rather whenever) your playerhead is = is where the keyframe will be placed. Keyframes are how the editing program moves things around. Placing this first one at the beginning of your timeline basically = "I want this to be the start position of this png".

5. Go to the end of whenever you want your sun to stop spinning. Place another keyframe there. This basically = "I want this to be the end position of this png"

6. Keeping your playerhead on that keyframe you just put, rotate the sun png to change its position. (in adobe premiere which is the program I used to edit the thrushpelt video, I could just use the transform controls to spin it around n around and it would just keep counting how many rotations I made yaay simple. In da vinci resolve it looks like that just makes it reset back to 0 degrees when you rotate back around to the start lol So that means I had to manually type in "600" degrees to get it to rotate multiple times; like how 365 degrees would be 1 full rotation, so 600 would be around 2 full rotations.)

Here I'm showing you method 1: rotating it with the transform controls

And here I'm showing method 2: manually typing in "600" degrees in the "rotation angle" setting, and then I'm playing the video to see it spin

7. Play the video and see if you like how it looks, and adjust to your liking (to edit a keyframe, just make sure your playerhead is at whenever you placed the keyframe).

More rotations = it'll spin faster. Why? Imagine if someone told you to spin around only 1 time within 10 seconds. You might have to even deliberately slow down to spin only once within that time. BUT if they told you to spin around 50 times within 10 seconds? You'd have to spin real fast to make sure you spun around enough within that same time frame.

8. Also: To make it rotate clockwise/counter-clockwise (whatever the other direction is), just put a "-" next to the number to make it negative 600.

In that video above you can also see how because my playerhead wasn't on the exact spot of one of the previous keyframes I made, it automatically made a new third keyframe when I changed the rotation setting to "-600". Then when I play the video, we can see it first spins the same like in step #6 (because those first 2 keyframes are still the same), and then start spinning the opposite direction ("-600"). It also spins a lot faster mainly because while those first 2 keyframes are about 3 seconds apart, key frame #2 and the new keyframe #3 are like 1 second apart

(again imagine spinning around 5 times within 10 seconds vs trying to spin around 5 times within 1 second; for the latter you'd have to spin a lot faster)

(*it technically is Also spinning faster because instead of going from 0 degrees (keyframe #1) to 600 degrees (keyframe #2) which is a difference of 600 (0 minus Positive 600 yay math), it's going from 600 degrees (keyframe #2) to -600 degrees (keyframe #3) aka a difference of 1200, a much larger distance (600 minus Negative 600 yay math))

In conclusion: Keyframes are the key! lol. They are what makes everything move/change over time so they'll be your bread and butter in video editing, so try to learn more about how they work! I hope that all makes sense ;O;

[elicathebunny]

Lights, Camera, Action!

How to not obsess over the preparation (“im not ready yet!”) and the “distant big dream” phase.

Dreaming big is what we are always told and what I will always encourage.

But it gets to a point where sometimes you dream so big that you begin to question how you will even end up living those dreams in your reality.

This is where the dreams then feel so far away and distant from where you are now that you begin to doubt yourself and they remain as only dreams.

You become obsessed with preparing the best route possible to guarantee your success. You plan and make new plans after ditching old ones, watch every video made possible, affirm, pray and do every loa technique under the sun. Yet you still have doubts and feel that you are not ready to go after your dreams.

I. The Planning Phase

LEAVE.ROOM.FOR.FLEXABILITY !!

I cannot stress this enough. Leaving room for flexibility in your planning is very important. Yes, having a clear goal means knowing how you'll achieve your desired result. But, having tunnel vision on that one path isn’t helpful when times change and a new path is needed. You must be open to new possibilities and routes to which you may need to change to if that previous path can no longer work for you.

Over-obsessing over one route will make you reluctant to try any other paths. This could cause you to lose out on other opportunities that you could’ve gained.

Do not over fixate over one path that it overrides any other possible solution to the same desired outcome!!!

II. Having Faith

Doubting ruins your motivation and perseverance towards something, it makes you begin to question yourself and your abilities. This can lead to you abandoning your journey altogether or making you waver a little. You need to believe in yourself and that you can achieve the goals you set for yourself, no matter how vast they may seem.

BE COMFORTABLE IN THE UNKNOWN!!

You have to be able to envision yourself out of your usual setting.

Teach yourself to stray away from your usual settings and venture into more unfamiliar zones. This allows you to grow and forces you to adapt to/try new things. This will help with avoiding stagnating and clinging onto things with familiarity.

This links to over-obsessing with the planning process. Sticking to things with familiarity in this case would be binding yourself to the plans you made and not allowing yourself to lean onto other paths (maybe you're scared or you are too fixated on one way).

Understand that you are going to make mistakes or feel like you are lost along the way. You need to remember why you are choosing to follow your desired thing and keep reminding yourself to keep going after your dreams. Don't beat yourself up because you feel doubtful and especially don't beat yourself up because others are doubting you.

HOW TO REDUCE DOUBTFUL THINKING!

To counteract doubtful thinking, I suggest writing words of affirmation using the pronouns "you" and "I". Then write them down physically on a piece of paper (I find writing it with a pen is more personal and stimulates the memory more) and keep it with you or stick them onto your mirror to read them back to yourself every time you stare at yourself in the mirror (this will also help when you tell yourself negative words in the mirror, instead of negativity, reread those positive affirmations instead) or read the sheet of paper from time to time to make sure you really force the message in your head.

for example: "I am capable of achieving my dreams" "You will achieve your dreams"

Another tip is the affs tape method.

This involves writing the affirmations in your notes and then transferring them into a short YouTube video by turning the text into speech, preferably with the affirmations used written on the screen when they are said so you can read them whilst watching. The video can have the same affirmations looped or completely different ones for the entire duration. It doesn't have to be short but a long video may make you fixated with writing lengthy affirmations. The background of the video should be black (or one solid colour/ calming image in my personal opinion, although it doesn't have to be) to not distract you if you were to read the affirmations. Listen to the video on loop or as much as you can.

xoxo

E.B

[conspicuous-clown-car]

lemme ramble for a bit

so i have this story in my head of my self insert and the bs they go through while working at the pizzaplex for like 2 years as a night guard

and originally they were gonna die at the end of it before the events of security breach, smth about them finally getting what they wanted bc that’s one of the reasons they wanted to work there in the first place. but i thought that was way too sad, despite, yknow, it being a horror and if i was in their place id definitely be dead before then. plus there are some things worse than death in the fnaf universe. so i decided to veer away from angst for this story and go for a more thriller horror (maybe psychological) type thing yknow? makes it more fun

THEN i was like yo what if ghosts kids start haunting them to help them find their killer and there’s like 1 for each pizzaplex animatronic (excluding freddy and roxy bc they got gregory and cassie). and it could be super angsty bc 2 of the kids were inadvertently killed because of moon and one was killed by moon, and my s/i is super close with moon right? so it would be like a moral dilemma, bc they want to help the kids but they still want to be friends with moon, but they’re also horrified that he killed a kid. and my s/i would start dreaming and sleepwalking, forced by the ghost kids to relive their deaths to try and find who killed them. but then i started thinking about the timeline of that, and it would mean moon would’ve had the virus or whatever years before this story takes place, which isn’t what i wanted nor did it make sense. so after a while i was just like nahhhh, and it didn’t really mesh well with the story of security breach anyways, its more sci-fi than supernatural now, and including the ghost kids would just be too much crammed into self insert story i have. the kids designs im still gonna use tho lol

NOW after getting back into fnaf after like a few months of not really caring about the lore, i’ve been watching more theory videos and book summaries and stuff like that and it made me shift my whole view on security breach’s story

so i’ve decided that i wanna stick as close to canon lore as possible and make gregory and vanessa/vanny more present and important. i want to focus more on the issues with ai, and show the slow downfall and problems with depending solely on them. i also need to figure out why my self insert has plot armor bc anyone in their situation would’ve been fired or killed by now (i don’t have to stick that close to canon for this i guess). but im just gonna justify it as they’re a pushover who doesn’t ask any questions and just does what they’re told, which is pretty much what got the other employees fired or killed bc they did the opposite (they’re also a huge nerd about robots so they end up being good friends with all the animatronics which is a HUGE plot point in this story, friendship is the real magic love conquers all etc. etc.) don’t get me wrong, they are fully aware of how wrong things are in the pizzaplex and how some things vanessa has told them don’t add up, but they are a good little employee (they are a severe people pleaser) so they feign ignorance to it all.

my self insert being autistic and having adhd is also a big thing i wanna include, bc there’s some really specific shit about their autism that would affect how they survive and stuff. things like trauma responses, masking, unmasking, meltdowns, and shutdowns that will affect their relationships with the others and will domino affect over time and lead to them surviving. idk ive just been thinking a lot lately about social interactions and experiences i have that are negatively or positively impacted specifically because of my autism. choices choices

i also want to make sure that it’s clear how neglected all the animatronics are. not just the dca since it is intended to be a s/i x sun and moon story. but there’s a lot of issues the in game messages have talked about with the animatronics that seem to happen because no one is bothering to help them. they just put a bandaid on a situation but they don’t fix the root problem yknow. also, my s/i doesn’t think the animatronics are sentient at first, and i want that to be a big thing that gets explored several times throughout the story bc i love thinking about robot sentience.

at first i was gonna have monty sort of start to be nice to my s/i, and maybe they could be friends or even have a sibling type relationship (red hair lol) but then i was like nah, monty being an asshole is what makes his character interesting. plus his behavior is a nice contrast from the rest of the band. though i think it would be funny for some characters to think monty is my s/i’s favorite at first bc their hair is dyed red

i also want sun and moon to be as close to canon as possible. while i love love LOVE pretty much every dca x reader fic i ever read, i have a preference for canon depictions of sun and moon lol. no hate to fanon depictions of sun when i say this, but ive been lost in the sauce of fanon sun for too long, and i wanna make him passive aggressive, and sarcastic, and picky, and fussy!! but still an anxious wreck and a people pleaser perfectionist. i’ll admit im still struggling with this. it was kinda hard to get a gauge on his personality at first because until help wanted 2 we had only seen how he interacts with kids. and even though in universe that isn’t the real sun it’s the only indication we have of how he interacts with adults, so im taking it. moon is still gonna be mischievous, creepy as hell, and won’t talk much, but he’s not gonna be killin anyone (yet), he’s just gonna be kind of a stalker lol. also the dca and freddy have beef for some reason, it’s a personal head canon of mine but im adding it to this story hehe

lots of physical injuries, several concussions, a migraine so bad they loose the ability to communicate properly (smth i experience) will all happen to them, bc i am throwing them through the ringer. they will be stressed more often than not. get projected on idiot (i say that as if this isn’t my self insert and is literally me)

tbh this story would mostly be just a slice of life, shenanigan, character driven thing for most of it. but then little things brought up in the past will become important to the plot later on.

like how copyright music can’t be played in front of any of the animatronics or else they will freak out :]

that’s all lol

[actualbird]

mental illness posting ahead, but having an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist saying that im a bona fide bipolar disorder haver is equal parts useful and useless. like, on one hand, this means i can get prescriptions for meds that my brain so desperately needs to stay sane, but on the other hand it's like. Knowing doesnt make Much Of A Dang Difference, does it??

like right now im in a weird state of not having the energy to do anything, even low-effort things that would bring me joy like watching shows or videos or reading fanfic. im able to scrounge up the bare minimum amount of energy needed to do the tasks for my job, but past that, all i wanna do is be catatonic-staring-at-the-ceiling-for-hours-head-empty-except-for-dread any chance i can get. and i KNOW that thats part of the bipolar disorder, i kNOW that thats the Depressive Episode Low Mood Electric Boogaloo, but i cant.....do much but ride it out. and cope "as well as i can" while it's happening

it feels horribly unfair. like. im doing the work. im taking my meds regularly, im curbing my self-destructive urges, im trying my best to always reframe things in a positive or at the very least actionable angle, im being Self Aware and Taking Note That The Negativity I Feel Is Because Of The Depressive Episode And Not In Any Way A Reflection Of My Own Worth yadda yadda yadda. but this will still happen. FOREVER. FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE. cuz i got stuck with this faulty brain. i just have to live with this forever and get through each time and oh i know i'll survive but like

it still feels like crap. im trapped with this brain and its faults for forever. i can manage it as well as i like, but it's never going away. that sucks. that doesnt sound fair. that sounds exhausting. and im already exhausted

i have to live with this brain for forever?

[teethstitch]

I meant the turtles not the iterations themselves I feel bad you had to type all that down oof!

never feel bad about that i will never pass up an opportunity to yap nearly 3.5k words about a special interest. so we'll just do this again but right this time!

Leo

I used to be one of those people who wasn't as invested as Leo - Rise was my introduction as i mentioned last post and it was a bit of an adjustment to go from rise leo to regular leo of any other series, BUT that was how i used to feel, while Leo still isn't my favourite i dont really rank them either, hes just with the other 3 while the one true turtle stays elite, (more on that later) but ive grown to appreciate and really love leo's character across the iterations, a particular thing that helped this was a video talking about how rise leo makes sense as under the circumstances in which the rise kids were raised, a typical Leo trait could instead become a typical Rise!Leo trait, how the characters aren't as polar opposites as people assume. i dont remember who made the video but it was great - also 03 leo definitely helped this perception, i find the characterisation in 03 to be one of my favourites and Leo's definitely shines to me in that version. my general opinion of leo is that he can be a good character when used correctly, and sometimes iteration to iteration theres episodes and arcs where he's not written as well as he could be, but regardless he's a great character, is so nuanced and supremely fun to write angst about.

Donatello

damn it its later isn't it. typically in this type of format I'd leave my favourite for last but we're going on theme song order (most of them at least). i'm pretty stereotypical in that i watched rise, thought rise donnie was fantastic and watched the others and decided he was my favourite overall, the "we can't all be donatello" audio exists for a reason. I'm nowhere near as smart as pretty much any iteration of Donnie, i'm a dropout, i struggle with basic math frequently, i have insanely vivid mind images but the idea of figuring out how something will fall and domino effect makes my head hurt - i'm even more stereotypical as a donnie fan because im autistic and man. he's really just like that - i think iteration to iteration some of the other turtles fit the label more (03 raph for example) but overall the fandom has collectively agreed donnie's autistic and i see a fair few of my positive and negative autistic traits in the way people intrinsically write the character, we know rise donnie was written that way but do we know if batman donnie was? no, we don't, but still theres a way the character is done across most iterations that just screams it. articulating what i like about these characters is kind of hard without just outright listing the traits we all know them to have, but i think if i had to put it to something i'd just say that donatello toes the line in each generation between silliness and sincerity extremely well, he's an easy character to love. 03 donatello is ALSO an angst sponge.

Raph

raph kind of depends on the iteration for me, some of them are fine, theres not any ive come across that i outright dislike (i wont want the next mutation i wont do it), so basically some im neutral on and some i enjoy more. the ones i enjoy more are rise raph and 03 raph (fucking shocker. we see the theme right). Rise raph is, similar to the point about leo from that mysterious video, a really interesting exploration into the idea of what would happen if they were in a different environment, who would he grow up to be? rise raph shows his anger and his annnoyance frequently but hes also kind and patient, (ANGST-) hes just a really fun character. 03 raph i feel is the one true raph in my mind, mainly i just mean he feels the most raph of any of them, something about the boston accent fits Raphael's character ridiculously well. he also says yo mama in the show and i think thats beautiful.

Mikey

man i love mikey. i feel like he's kind of fighting donatello for my number one spot sometimes because he's just delightful, 03 mi- (the crowd boos) rude. 03 mikey really shines in the trait that all mikey's possess which is that they love their family. the genderfluid implications in 03 are also pretty great. Similarly to the traits all the characters having sort of similar voices across (besides rise and now Tales) but especially mikey, who usually has a surfer bro voice in movies and shows. genuinely curious to see what they do with that in the ronin movie and game. Mikey can be angsty but i prefer when he's happy, rare take from me. Mikey has stayed fairly consistent, mostly just amping up his intensity up until rise, rise mikey was wild don't get me wrong but there were some differences that i felt distinguished him from other mikeys, and now thats continuing with tales with not only mikey but all of the turtles, and for me its a nice change, as much as i love the other mikey's he can't stay static, only changing based in what decade he's being written in forever, its fun to see him change a little more than usual, i would say he's up there fighting for donnie's spot mostly because i just relate to him a lot in most iterations, being the supposed 'dumb one', loving comics, loving food and in some iterations being a shitty cook despite that, he's just super relatable.

[smilesession]

feeling really broken and fucked up and nihilist today just crying and in thousand yard stare mode. i feel like complaining about my life is disgracing to people who are truly suffering and i also feel like hoping at all, engaging in hope on any level (individual or large scale) is disgraceful to human suffering also, i feel like im just a tiny piece of garbage waste meat homonculus with rudimentary eyes staring down a tube and hooked up to a computer and im supposed to use my rudimentary eyes to figure out a way to travel to some vague concept of "meaning" and "redemption" but any act towards any possible end feels inherently sinful against mankind. i havrnt really talked about palestine because its just felt so futile, it feels so futile and meaningless to try to do "activism" from my position in the middle of montana. and also inherently sinful against mankind for me to try to relieve myself of any negative feeling by sitting on my phone or computer "spreading the word" and just really accomplishing nothing other than associating my name to an ~altruistic~ set of fucking, unfeeling text and metadata, it feels like it would just be an act of pride and vanity and ive felt like the whole thing is just fucking empty. americans SPREADING THE WORD feels like a big hollowed out thing, something hollow, just a big colorful balloon or an alarm going off in an empty room signifying nothing. i dont know, i watched the uncensored video of aaron bushnell and some thread in my mind just snapped hard and right now i feel like the only morally correct action is suicide for some reason, i just feel like everything else i could possibly do is spiritually ugly, i just keep thinking that anything i do in life is a sin and an affront against mankind, i really dont understand the point of living on earth right now i feel like we're all so deeply fucked. we're all so deeply fucked and stained in blood. everything ive ever known and everything ive ever loved is so fucked and stained in blood