#im dumb and cannot count

[pebre-con-aji]

[velarisdusk]

Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

word count: 1.9k author's note: i had the idea for this one literally AS i was writing the last one im annoyed i didnt write it right after bc i know i had GREAT ideas that i literally cannot remember anymore sigh ✦ . AU Masterlist . ✦ ✦ . Masterlist . ✦

The venue hums with the kind of energy you’d expect for a band as big as Wings of Illyria, the low chatter and country rock playing in the background almost drowned out by the buzz around the meet-and-greet booth.

Cassian, the life of the party you always imagined him to be, is already surrounded by fans, effortlessly drawing people in with that easy grin of his. But security is quick to move in, ushering people away with practiced calm, the crowd reluctantly shifting to make room for the band’s massive presence.  Rhysand sits beside him, polished and smooth as ever, his gaze flicking between the crowd and the band’s merch, playing the role of the charming frontman like he was born for it. But Azriel—Azriel looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.

You spot him leaning back in his chair, a half-smirk barely visible beneath the dark fringe of his hair, eyes scanning the room with a look that says he’s mentally checked out. The cigarette tucked behind his ear, defying the “No Smoking” sign above the booth, is the least surprising thing about him.

You can’t help but notice how effortlessly Azriel leans into the atmosphere, the way his posture seems to say he’s both above it all and fully in control of the space around him. The black leather jacket slung over his chair, the way his fingers casually thrum against the table, it’s all effortlessly cool. But before you can linger on him too long, a voice cuts through the room, sharp and high-pitched enough to make your teeth ache. 

The girl in front of you is practically vibrating, her hands shaking as she clutches her phone to her chest like it’s a lifeline. “Oh my God, oh my God,” she whispers to her friend, barely able to hold it together. “What if I say something dumb? What if they laugh at me? What if Az doesn’t even look at me? I have to tell him how much I—”

It’s the way she says Az—not like she’s just a fan, but like she’s personally on a nickname basis with him—that makes your eye twitch. You don’t want to judge, but fuck, could people just enjoy things without this level of intensity? She’s decked out in enough Wings of Illyria merch to make you wonder if she owns anything that isn’t branded. Her denim jacket is practically a billboard for the band, from the patches to the pins to the shirts she’s stacked under it, all so bright and loud it’s almost cartoonish. She looks exactly like the kind of people you’ve seen mocked in those “fan stereotype” posts, and it grates on you more than it should.

You bite back a sigh, trying to ignore the discomfort gnawing at your nerves. It’s not her fault, right? People can like things however they want. But as you stand there, you can’t shake the tightness in your chest, the buzz of unease you’ve been carrying all day. You hadn’t gotten much sleep last night—too busy running through every possible scenario, obsessing over the idea that maybe, just maybe, you’d misinterpreted the song. What if it wasn’t about you at all? What if you’d been foolish to even think it was? You’d spent so much time convincing yourself this was the right thing to do, that you could handle whatever confrontation came with it. But now, with the weight of it all on your shoulders, doubts have started to creep in. 

To each their own, you remind yourself, trying to shake the jittery feeling in your stomach. 

The line inches forward, and you shuffle along with it, caught between your own nerves and the chaos around you. Every second stretches and the girl ahead of you is still whispering furiously to her friend about all the reasons this moment is life-changing for her. You try to tune it out, focusing instead on the distant hum of the music overhead, and the faint shuffle of feet, the air heavy with anticipation.

And then, it’s your turn. 

Cassian is the first to notice you, his smile broad and infectious, like he’s genuinely thrilled to meet every single person who steps up to the booth. “Hey!” he greets warmly, his voice loud enough to carry over the din. “You excited for the show?”

“Yeah, definitely,” you reply, shifting your weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. “I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks.”

Cassian beams like you’ve just made his night. “That’s what I like to hear! First time seeing us live?”

You shake your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Second. Saw you guys in Orlando last year.”

“No shit?” he says, leaning forward slightly. “That was a great crowd. One of the best on that leg of the tour. You catch the whole set?”

“Most of it,” you admit. “I got stuck in traffic and missed the first couple of songs.”

Rhysand, who’s been quietly observing, chuckles at that. “Typical,” he says, his voice smooth and amused. “Traffic in that city is practically a right of passage.”

“Right?” you say, laughing despite yourself. “I swear I left two hours early and still barely made it in time for ‘Bloodlines.’”

Cassian gives you a mock sympathetic look. “Tragic. That’s one of my favorites to play live.”

“It’s a good one,” you say, your nerves easing just a little. You glance between the two of them, noting how Rhys’s sharp gaze is fixed on you like he can tell there’s another reason you’re here. 

“So,” Rhys says, tilting his head slightly. “What’s your favorite track?”

How the hell—

“I mean, the whole album is great,” you say, “but ‘Sear My Skin’ has been on repeat lately.”

It’s a calculated choice, and you don’t miss the quirk of Azriel’s brow in your peripheral. 

“Interesting pick,” Rhys says, his smirk widening. “That one’s been causing a bit of a stir lately.”

Cassian chuckles. “Yeah, Az really knocked it out of the park with that one.”

And there it is—the perfect segue. You glance past them, finally letting your gaze settle on Azriel, who’s been silent this whole time. 

He’s leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable as his dark eyes meet yours. For a second, the noise of the room seems to fade, and you realize your heart is pounding in your chest, 

“Azriel,” you say, his name coming out steadier than you expected. “Can I ask you something?”

He quirks that brow again, the faintest hint of a smirk playing on his lips. “You just did.”

Cassian groans dramatically, dragging a hand down his face. “Come on, man. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be,” he mutters.

Azriel ignores him, his gaze still fixed on you. “What’s the question?”

You take a breath, forcing yourself to hold his stare. “The song—’Sear My Skin.’ Is it about me?”

Rhysand doesn’t bother hiding his laughter, leaning back in his chair like he’s settling in for a show. Cassian’s drink nearly slips out of his hand, and he mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like, Oh, shit.

Azriel doesn’t react immediately. He just stares at you, his expression unreadable, until the silence stretches so thin you think it might snap. 

“Who are you?” he asks finally, his tone maddeningly calm. 

You blink, thrown off by the audacity of the question. “You seriously don’t remember me?”

He leans back, shrugging one shoulder. “I don’t remember half the women I sleep with.” Cassian chokes on his drink, Rhysand’s grin stretching wide enough to show teeth, but you’re not about to let Azriel off that easily. 

“Pressed against the door, your lips trace the ache?” You quote the line pointedly, crossing your arms as you glare at him. The memory rushes back—how he’d tasted on your tongue, how his hands had threaded through your hair before all hell broke loose. “Sound familiar?”

“It’s not that deep,” Azriel replies, his tone dismissive, though his gaze sharpens ever so slightly. 

“Really?” you counter, your tone dripping with incredulity. “Right before I finish, your body’s all I feel, breathed in your ear ‘you feel too good to be real.’” Your voice rises, your chest tightening as the words leave your mouth. “You literally said that to me while you were balls deep in me against a wall.”

Azriel freezes, his lips parting slightly as a faint flicker of surprise breaks through his carefully guarded expression. For a split second, it’s almost satisfying. 

Cassian’s reaction is anything but subtle. His chair scrapes loudly against the floor as he doubles over in laughter, nearly spilling his drink again. He gasps, pounding the table. “Yo, what the fuck?!”

Rhysand isn’t fairing much better, his laughter barely contained as he leans forward, resting his elbows on the table, his amusement still sharp but with a more controlled edge than Cassian’s, to his credit.

Azriel’s jaw tightens, and he finally breaks eye contact, glancing down at the table. “Okay,” he mutters, the word barely audible over the laughter. “Maybe it’s a little about you.”

Cassian claps a hand over his mouth, trying and failing to muffle another loud “Yo!” Rhysand smirks, watching the two of you closely. 

But you shake your head, not about to let him off with just that. “A little? Really? You practically narrated the whole thing—I deserve royalties.”

Azriel raises an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that response. “Royalties?” he repeats, half-laughing, but still avoiding eye contact.

Before he can properly respond, a security guard steps forward, tilting their head toward the door, a silent gesture that your time is up. 

You roll your eyes but shoot Azriel a teasing smile. “Guess I’m out of time for royalties. But I’ll be expecting them in the mail.”

As the security guard ushers you forward, Rhysand speaks up. “Well, nice to meet you, Sear My Skin,” he says, voice dripping with humor. 

You grin back at him, a little cheeky. “My name—”

“It’s (y/n),” Azriel interrupts, dragging a hand over his face as he speaks, his tone casual but something darker in his gaze that would’ve stopped you in your tracks if not for the man guiding you away.

You blink at him, and can’t help the smile blooming on your face. He remembered you. Really remembered you. 

Just as you’re about to take another step toward the exit, Cassian shouts from behind you, “Wait, wait, wait!” His voice is a mix of urgency and excitement. 

You turn around, confused, as Cassian's already talking to someone behind the merch table. The team member nods, already moving to grab something and hand it over to you. Cassian looks at you with that mischievous grin you’re so used to seeing on video. “We’ll set you up for the show. Don’t leave without saying hi to us again, yeah?”

You look at the woman heading your way and take the slip she hands you, your heart stopping when you read the words Backstage Pass. You’re not sure what’s happening, but the thrill of it courses through you. “Uh—Yeah, thank you?”

“Anytime, princess,” Cassian says with a wink, leaning back in his chair as he makes a show of lounging. 

You glance at Azriel one last time before being nudged along by the guard. He looks back at you for a moment, unreadable as ever, but there’s something in his eyes. But he says nothing, and it’s enough to make your chest tighten, a mix of anticipation and confusion bubbling in your stomach. 

[slimepuparibaba]

LnDS HCs: Sylus (General HCs)

HI! I HAVE TOO MANY HEADCANONS FOR SYLUS SO PLEASE TAKE THEM!! THEY WILL DEFO NOT BE ACCURATE COME JULY BUT STILL IM USING WHAT SCRAPS OF INFO I HAVE RN AND IF HE TURNS OUT LIKE THIS APOLLO GAVE ME THE GIFT OF PROPHECY

IF THIS IS INACCURATE I WILL COMMIT CHAPTER 4 OKOK

GENERAL HC DUMP / PREDICTIONS (MAYBE DONT COUNT ON IT)

Okay, we all agree he comes off as the type of guy that would burn the world for you.

BUT!

Big but here.

I don't think he's a terrible boyfriend or anything. In fact, he genuinely does love you.

I believe, me personally, you are the one weakness this man has and he will treat you with care. Is the way he treats you rough around the edges and comes off a little different than most? Yes.

But he won't ever actually hurt you. He watches you from afar like a silent protector to make sure you aren't hurt, even using his Evol to make sure you STAY alive.

I personally think he might actually treat you kinda like one of his men, like an equal in terms of "you can definitely handle yourself and I know you're strong", but he'll still keep an eye on you just because you're that important to him. He trusts you.

...okay, so like, maybe not completely trust you because let's be honest here, you're kiiiinda prone to trying dumb shit on him, but it's funny. He'll forgive it. The smug bastard.

From what I've seen, he comes off cool, suave, knows what he's doing. Cocky.

Bad boy. He's a bad boy in all sense of the word.

He knows what he's doing, he's confident, he's charming. Knows what to say and do. He's also a CEO so dealing with people? Basically easy for him.

When it comes to you? He will flirt. Because he likes getting a reaction out of you.

I bet he teases you a TON. You hate him? Good. At least you have him in your thoughts.

Love is war with him. You try to scheme? He already has a counter. Man is 100 steps ahead of you, but just likes seeing you make a complete fool of yourself.

You know when he gets the upper hand he'll have that signature smirk of his that just screams "kiss me to shut me up and I'll consider this your win".

You thought Rafayel had an ego? Nah. NAH, THIS DUDE HAS AN E G O.

Sparring sessions with him are very likely. He'd probably be like "alright, but not going easy on you" or something cocky like that with a smug smirk on his face.

Man genuinely treats you as his equal though when training. Teaches you everything he knows and points out some techniques you might be rusty on.

Rizz is off the charts. He's lived in the N109 Zone and breathed it for so long. He's a sweet talker, so be prepared for him to know how to make you melt.

But also, he will actually spoil you. Will he make you work for it? Yes. He will give you an entire runaround (make you say please, make you verbalize it, etc), but he does it because he loves you.

You are genuinely his soft spot, and I CANNOT stress this enough.

The things he does in the dark are things he does FOR YOU. His reason for being REVOLVES around you, you just don't know it yet. Don't let him being the leader of Onichynus get to your head—he has method to his madness.

[eepwtf]

oh my GLOB i just saw this pic in my camera roll(don’t ask) and my brain immediately went to frat!kai parker

WARNINGS; explicit sexual content: contains detailed and graphic descriptions of sexual acts, including edging and overstimulation. jerking each other off(are you even frat bros if you don’t?) exhibitionism & voyeurism: includes references to the potential of being watched or caught during sexual acts. humiliation kink, kai being an asshole, slight power imbalance, ( im a sucker for asshole x dumb puppy dog duo ) accidental homoerotic frat energy: “it’s not gay, bro, it’s just mutual appreciation...of each other’s cocks.”

also, can i just say this started as an innocent brainstorming session about kai parker ! frat bro headcanons, but things got wildly out of hand, and now we’re here. sigh, my brain goes into a rabbit hole that i cannot escape when it comes to him.

wc; 5.5k

kai parker was the kind of guy who made you hate the sound of your own name. not because he said it wrong, no—that’d be too simple. he dragged it out, teased it, wrapped it in just enough contempt to make your chest tighten and your skin crawl. (the bastard knew exactly what he was doing, too, with that smug little smirk of his.) perched on the back of the delta psi beta couch—shoes still on, because of course he didn’t give a shit—he swirled the last inch of beer in his red Solo cup like it was top-shelf whiskey. he had that infuriating cocked-eyebrow thing going on, one leg stretched out like he owned the damn place. (technically, he kind of did—if being the unofficial asshole-in-residence counted for anything.)

the house reeked of stale beer, sweat, axe body spray, and regret. (it was a delta psi beta signature blend—eau de regret.) the floors were a graveyard of crushed cans and abandoned cups, the kind that leaked sticky trails when you tried to clean them up—assuming anyone ever did. over in the corner, some poor pledge was on his knees, scrubbing furiously at a blackish-green stain on the carpet. (it shimmered faintly in the light, like an oil slick, and everyone silently agreed that the less you knew, the better.)

and then there was you. (golden boy. president. the kind of guy who people just…liked.) you didn’t even have to try. your smile was easy, charming—sugar-sweet in a way that made kai’s teeth ache. you were sprawled next to kai, stupid grin plastered across that stupidly pretty face of yours, laughing at some dumb joke one of the other guys had made. your hair was a little messy (like it always was by the middle of a party), your cheeks pink from too many beers, and kai fucking hated it. not you, not really—he wasn’t sure he was even capable of hating you. (hating you would’ve been easier. cleaner.) but he didn’t exactly like you either, and that made him feel some kind of way.

maybe it was the way people clung to your every sugary, half-baked word. (kai talked, and people flinched. you talked, and they fucking laughed.) maybe it was how you could smile at someone and instantly get whatever you fucking wanted. (beer. a blowjob. a goddamn kidney, probably.) hated how your laugh was so genuine it made him feel like a fraud just sitting next to you. (fuck, he hated that he wasn’t immune to it. that sometimes he caught himself watching you and wondering.) or maybe it was the way you always squirmed when he turned his attention on you, when he got close enough to see that flicker of panic in your puppy-dog eyes.

“you good, president puppy?” he drawled, dragging his gaze over to you, slow enough to be a threat. (or a promise—same difference really.) his voice was low and syrupy, just the tiniest bit condescending, like he was addressing a particularly dumb pet. you blinked at him, smile wavering for half a second before you covered it up with a laugh.

“yeah, i’m good, parker,” you said, voice light and easy, even though kai could see the faint pink creeping up your neck. (you always got flustered when he paid attention to you. he loved that.)

kai tilted his head, studying you like he was trying to decide whether you were worth his time. (spoiler: you were. that was the problem.) he shifted closer, his knee brushing yours, his grin sharpening as he watched you try so hard not to squirm. “cool. just making sure, since you look a little…” he let the word hang, raising an eyebrow as his gaze flicked to your flushed face. “...overheated.”

you laughed again, this time nervously, running a hand through your hair. “it’s just hot in here, man.” (it wasn’t. not really. but if that’s the excuse you wanted to cling to, kai wasn’t going to stop you.)

“yeah?” he leaned in, close enough that you could smell the beer on his breath, the faint bite of mint underneath it. “if you pass out or something, i guess i can be the guy who saves your dumb ass. might even give you mouth-to-mouth.” his voice was teasing, but there was something dark and heavy under it, something that made your pulse stutter. (it was the way he said it, like he’d already imagined the scenario—and like it wouldn’t just stop at saving you.)

your laugh came out strangled this time, caught somewhere between discomfort and something else. something you didn’t want to think about. (but kai could see it. the way your pupils dilated, the way your pulse ticked in your throat, the way your eyes darted—just for a second—to his mouth.)

“careful, puppy,” kai murmured, his voice low and dripping with amusement. his knee pressed harder against yours, and his grin sharpened, baring teeth. “you’re starting to look like you want me to put you out of your misery.”

it wasn’t hard to persuade you. not really. kai had always been good at that—finding the cracks, prying them open just wide enough to slip his fingers inside. (and you? you weren’t exactly built to resist. puppy-dog eyes, soft around the edges, desperate to please. fuck, you practically came pre-cracked.)

one minute, you were still in the delta psi beta living room, trying to laugh off the weight of kai’s knee pressed against yours, the heat of his breath brushing your ear. the next, you were stumbling down the hallways of your dorm, your head spinning with too many beers and too much him.

(you weren’t even sure how it had happened. you were saying, “nah, i’m good here, man,” in that too-light, too-nervous tone of yours, and, kai had tipped his head, given you that sharp-edged smirk, and said something like, “c’mon, puppy. let’s get out of this shithole.” and you—golden boy, poster child for frat excellence—had followed him like a lovesick idiot. like a dog. like his dog.)

by the time you reached your dorm, the hallway was dead silent. most of your neighbors were passed out cold, their doors closed, or too busy fucking to care about the pair of you fumbling with your keys. (not that kai would’ve cared if they had been watching. in fact, he probably would’ve loved it—eyes on him, knowing he was the one who’d gotten under your skin, the one dragging the president of delta psi around like some kind of trophy.)

“you’re a mess, president puppy,” kai drawled, his voice syrupy and slow, thick with condescension. his hand was on your wrist, his thumb brushing the inside of it, and it felt like he was taking your pulse—measuring every shaky beat. (too fast. too loud. too much.) he plucked the keys from your trembling fingers like you were too dumb to handle them yourself. (and maybe you were. at least, around him.)

“i’m fine,” you muttered, your voice wrecked and unconvincing. your cheeks were burning, your head buzzing, and your whole body felt like it was vibrating. (you weren’t fine. you didn’t even sound close to fine, and kai noticed. of course he noticed. he always noticed.)

the door swung open, and before you could step inside, kai was already crowding into your space. his hand slid from your wrist to your waist, his fingers digging in just enough to make your breath catch. (he gripped you like you belonged to him, his to hold, to keep, to fuck with. it scared you how much you wanted it.)

“man, this is sad,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear again. (he wasn’t even trying to be subtle anymore, and why would he? you weren’t exactly putting up a fight.) “big man on campus, and you can’t even get your own door open. what would your brothers think?”

“i said i’m fine,” you snapped, but your voice cracked halfway through, and kai laughed. (it wasn’t fair, the way his laugh hit you—sharp and mocking, but hot enough to make your stomach twist.)

“sure you are,” he said, kicking the door shut behind him with the heel of his boot. his eyes dragged over you, slow and deliberate, like he was assessing you. picking you apart. you felt like you were being stripped bare, and he hadn’t even touched you—not really.

“god, you’re pathetic,” he said, almost to himself, his lips curling into that infuriating smirk again. (but there was something darker underneath it, something hungry. like he was debating what to do with you now that he had you alone. like he was wondering how far he could push you before you cracked completely.)

and then his gaze dipped. lower. lingering.

kai tilted his head, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip. “you know,” he said, his voice a low purr, “i’ve heard a lot of rumors about you, puppy.”

you froze, blinking at him. “rumors?”

“mhm,” he said, circling you like a predator, his eyes dragging down your body. (you’d never felt so small before, which was ridiculous, considering you were taller than him. broader. bigger. but none of that mattered with kai. he had this way of making you feel exposed, raw, like a stupid kid being toyed with by someone much smarter.)

“wanna know the most interesting one?” he continued, and before you could respond, his hand was there now, palming you through your jeans, bold and unrelenting.

“people say you’re packing, president,” he said, voice dripping with amusement. (your breath hitched. your pulse was thundering now, hammering in your throat like it was trying to escape.) “biggest dick in the house, right? that’s what they say about you.”

his grin widened, and his hand squeezed—not enough to hurt, just enough to make your knees buckle. “but you know what i think?”

“kai,” you rasped, but it didn’t sound like a protest. not really.

“i think,” he said, leaning in close enough that his lips brushed your jaw, “it doesn’t matter how big it is if you don’t know how to use it.”

and then he was laughing again, sharp and mean, pulling back just enough to see the look on your face—flushed, panicked, and wrecked. (exactly how he liked you.)

kai’s thumb pressed harder, teasingly slow as he tilted his head, studying you with that infuriating smirk. “fuck,” he muttered under his breath, though it was loud enough for you to hear. his blue-grey gaze dragged lower, zeroing in on the bulge straining against the front of your khakis. (it was humiliating—how obvious it was, how needy you looked. and kai? he was eating it up, his smirk twisting wider as his fingers flexed against you.) “i mean, they weren’t kidding, were they?” his hand tightened, fingers curling around the outline of your cock, squeezing just enough to make your breath hitch. (the noise you made was somewhere between a gasp and a whimper, and the way kai’s eyes lit up said he fucking loved it.)

“that’s what you’ve been hiding under those stupid khakis all this time?” he said, his tone mocking but tinged with genuine curiosity. his thumb dragged slow and deliberate along the length of you, tracing the thick ridge of your shaft through the fabric. (you could feel the heat of his palm through the layers, the weight of it making your cock twitch helplessly under his hand.)

you swallowed hard, your throat dry, your hands gripping the edges of your desk like they were the only things keeping you upright. “kai,” you choked out, trying to sound firm, but it came out as a broken, desperate plea. (not that it mattered—kai wasn’t listening to the words. he was listening to the way you said them. the shaky breath. the crack in your voice. the way his name sounded like it had been ripped straight from your chest.)

“poor thing,” he said, shaking his head like he pitied you. (he didn’t, though. you could see it in the glint of his eyes—he was enjoying this, taking you apart piece by piece.) “all that equipment, and no one’s ever taught you what to do with it.” he leaned in closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as his voice dropped lower. “don’t worry, puppy.” he murmured, the nickname dripping with condescension. “i’ll take good care of you. teach you how to use it. maybe even test drive it myself.”

the words sent a shiver down your spine, your knees buckling slightly, and kai noticed. (of course he noticed. kai always noticed. he had a way of zeroing in on every crack in your armor, the way your chest heaved, the way your cock twitched under his hand, already leaking pre-cum and soaking through the fabric.) “you like that, don’t you?” he whispered, his hand still moving against you, slow and deliberate. (the pressure was maddening—just enough to make you ache, not enough to give you relief. he wanted you like this, trembling under his touch, desperate for more.) “bet you’ve been walking around campus thinking you’re hot shit, huh? thinking you’re god’s gift to women—” he paused, his smirk twisting crueler, “—or maybe men. which is it, puppy? you ever let any of those frat bros get on their knees for you?”

your face burned hot, the shame curling in your stomach like a knot. you tried to look away, but kai’s hand shot up, gripping your jaw and forcing you to meet his eyes. “didn’t think so,” he said, his grip tightening just enough to keep you still. (you couldn’t look away, even if you wanted to. and god, the way his thumb dragged over your bottom lip, tugging it down slightly, made your chest tighten.)

“so fucking clueless,” he murmured, almost to himself. “but that’s okay. i like my toys a little clueless.” his thigh pressed between your legs then, pinning you against the desk, and you couldn’t help the way your hips twitched forward, seeking friction. (it was embarrassing—how little control you had, how easily he could reduce you to this. but kai didn’t look disgusted. no, he looked thrilled.)

“bet you’ve got all kinds of stupid fantasies, don’t you, prez?” he murmured, his lips brushing the corner of your mouth. (he didn’t kiss you, though. he could have, but he didn’t. he was holding it just out of reach, teasing you, making you want it.) he gave a sharp laugh when your hips bucked forward again, chasing the friction like a desperate idiot. “good boy,” he said, his voice rough and low, dripping with approval that made your chest tighten. (it shouldn’t have felt good—it shouldn’t have made your cock throb—but it did, and kai fucking knew it.)

“let’s see if you’re worth the hype, huh? let’s see if all that talk about delta psi’s golden boy is true.” his hand slipping down to hook into your waistband. (you held your breath, your pulse hammering in your throat as he dragged your pants down just enough to free your cock, hard and already leaking pathetically.)

kai sucked in a breath, his grin spreading wide as his fingers wrapped around you, stroking slow and deliberate. ���well, shit,” he said, his tone sharp and taunting. “guess they weren’t lying after all.” his thumb swiped over the head of your cock, smearing the pre-cum dripping down your shaft, and your knees nearly gave out at the sensation. (you were already a fucking wreck—your skin burning, your breathing ragged, your hips jerking helplessly into his hand like you couldn’t help yourself.)

kai’s hand slid down the length of your cock, his grip tightening just enough to draw a sharp gasp from your lips. (it was pathetic—how easily he had you trembling, how greedily your hips jerked forward, chasing the maddening friction. and kai? he fucking thrived on it. the glint in his blue-grey eyes sharpened, turning darker as he savored every choked whimper, every helpless twitch of your cock in his hand.)

"god, you really are dumb," he drawled, his smirk carving deeper into his face. his thumb swiped over the head of your cock, smearing the slick, sticky pre-cum pooling at the tip, making you jolt in his grip. the noise you made—a strangled mix of a gasp and a moan—shot straight to kai’s ego, his fingers tightening around you in response.) “you’re already dripping all over me, and I’ve barely done anything." (he wasn’t wrong—the wetness was obscene, slicking up his palm and leaving a glistening trail along the underside of your shaft as he stroked you slow and deliberate, every movement calculated to keep you teetering on the edge.)

your knees buckled again, your thighs trembling as you gripped the desk tighter, your head falling back with a broken whimper. "kai, please," you rasped, your voice cracking on the word. (it was humiliating—how wrecked you sounded, how easily he’d reduced you to this. but the worst part? he drank in your wrecked state like it was the sweetest thing he’d ever seen, a predator reveling in his prey’s helplessness.)

"please?" he echoed, his smirk widening, the mockery in his tone cutting like a knife. "what are you begging for, puppy? huh? you want me to let you cum?" his hand slowed, his thumb pressing teasingly into the slit at the tip of your cock, dragging the slick wetness down over your shaft in slow, deliberate circles. “you want me to let you cum?” (the way he said it—mocking and filthy, like it was a joke—made your chest tighten, your cock twitching helplessly in his hand.)

"y-yeah," you stammered, barely able to get the words out between ragged breaths. "please, kai, i—"

"not happening, prez," he cut you off sharply, his fingers tightening around your cock until you gasped, hips jerking forward on instinct. (the pressure was just shy of painful, his grip like a vice that left your thighs shaking, your mind spinning as the line between pleasure and pain blurred into something overwhelming.) "you don’t get to cum until i say so. got it?"

you nodded frantically, your voice lost to the desperate sounds spilling from your throat as your hips bucked forward again, chasing the friction kai kept just out of reach. (it didn’t matter how desperate you were—kai was in control now, and he was taking his sweet fucking time with you.)

"good boy," he murmured, his voice low and rough, laced with approval that made your cock throb harder in his hand. (the praise shouldn’t have felt so good—shouldn’t have made heat pool in your stomach, shouldn’t have sent another pulse of pre-cum leaking from the tip—but it did, and kai fucking knew it.)

his hand started moving again, slow and deliberate, his thumb teasing the sensitive underside of your cock with every stroke. (the pace was maddening—just enough to keep the coil in your stomach tightening, your chest heaving as you clawed at the desk for something, anything to ground yourself.)

but just as you felt yourself start to tip over the edge, just as the tight knot of pressure in your gut began to snap, kai stopped. “ah, ah,” he scolded, his tone dripping with mockery as he pulled his hand away completely, leaving you throbbing and leaking in the open air. (the sudden loss of contact was agony, your cock twitching helplessly, desperate for the friction he’d stolen away. but kai just leaned back, his smirk twisting crueler as he watched you squirm, your wrecked little whines only fueling his amusement.)

"look at you," he said, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. "so fucking desperate, so fucking needy. Is this how you are with everyone? or just me?" (his eyes dragged over you, taking in the way your cock throbbed, the way your chest heaved, the way your hips twitched forward uselessly, searching for relief.)

“kai,” you choked out, your voice wrecked and broken, your hands trembling as you reached for him. but he caught your wrist with a sharp laugh, shoving it back down onto the desk with enough force to make your breath hitch.

“uh-uh,” he said, his tone sharp as he leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear. “you don’t get to touch me. you don’t get to touch yourself. you’ll sit here and take what I give you. understand?” (the weight of his words settled over you like a command, your head nodding frantically even as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, the need burning in your gut almost too much to bear.)

“good boy,” kai murmured again, his voice low and dripping with condescension as his hand returned to your cock, his fingers wrapping around you in a firm, punishing grip. (the pressure sent a fresh wave of slick pre-cum spilling from the tip, your hips jerking forward involuntarily as his pace picked up, rougher this time, just enough to keep you teetering on the edge.)

kai’s grip on your cock tightened, his fingers pressing into the slick, throbbing flesh as he leaned in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “you know,” he drawled, his voice low and mocking, “i should make you beg louder. let everyone outside hear what a desperate little slut the president of the house really is.” (the words dripped from his mouth like poison, slow and deliberate, and the way his breath ghosted over your skin sent a violent shudder racing down your spine. your cock twitched in his hand, leaking shamelessly, and kai? he fucking noticed. of course.)

“god, just imagine it,” he continued, his smirk sharp enough to cut. “one of your precious brothers walking by, hearing those pathetic little noises you keep making.” he gave your cock a slow stroke, his thumb swiping over the head, spreading the slick pre-cum that was pooling there. “you think they’d recognize you? their golden boy prez, standing here with his cock out, dripping all over my hand?” his voice dropped lower, rougher, the words rumbling against your ear in a way that made your chest tighten, heat pooling low in your stomach.

(and he was right. god, he was right. the sharp edge in his voice, the shame curling hot and tight in your chest, the thought of someone walking in—it should have made you recoil, should have made you pull away. but it didn’t. it sent another pulse of heat rushing to your gut, your cock twitching shamelessly in his hand.)

“i—i don’t—” you started to protest, but the words dissolved into a broken moan as kai’s thumb pressed harder against the sensitive slit at the tip of your cock, smearing the slick pre-cum down the length of your shaft. (the sound of it—the wet, filthy noise of his strokes—filled the room, mingling with your shaky breaths and the soft creak of the desk under your trembling thighs. it was obscene, overwhelming, and it only made your knees buckle harder.)

“you’re such a fucking mess,” kai muttered, his grip tightening, his pace picking up just enough to keep you on edge. “standing here, dripping all over my hand like some needy little toy. what do you think your brothers would say if they saw you like this, huh?” his lips brushed against your ear as he spoke, his voice dropping into a filthy, teasing whisper.

“kai, please,” you rasped, your voice trembling, breaking, as you tugged weakly at his grip on your jaw. “someone might—”

“walk in?” kai cut you off, his smirk twisting wider. “yeah, they might.” he slowed his strokes, his hand moving in slow, deliberate circles over your cock, dragging his thumb along the sensitive underside with every pass. (the panic in your chest warred with the heat pooling low in your stomach, the thought of being caught making your thighs tremble. but it wasn’t just panic, was it? the shame, the humiliation, the filthy thrill of it—it had your cock throbbing harder, leaking more, the slick wetness making his strokes even louder, even more obscene.)

“hell, maybe i’ll leave the door open wider,” he mused, tilting his head as if he were actually considering it. “let them get a real good look at their precious prez, all wrecked and dripping for me. you think they’d believe it? that their golden boy is just a dumb little slut when he’s with me?”

the thought made your chest tighten, your cock twitching in his hand despite yourself. (you couldn’t help it—the image of someone walking in, seeing you like this, flushed and trembling, your cock flushed dark and leaking all over kai’s hand—it sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through you, shame burning bright and hot in your gut.)

“kai, don’t,” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper, but he just laughed—a low, cruel sound that made your stomach twist.

“oh, puppy,” he said, his tone dripping with mockery as his fingers tightened around your shaft, squeezing just enough to make you gasp. “don’t act like you don’t want it. you’d love it if someone saw you like this. you’d fucking love it, wouldn’t you?”

(and the worst part? he wasn’t wrong. the humiliation, the thrill, the filthy heat of it—it was eating you alive, making your hips jerk forward, your cock throbbing against his palm as he teased you mercilessly.)

kai’s grin split wider as he watched you collapse against the desk, your body trembling and slack. you were so wrecked, so far gone, and yet somehow still holding onto whatever shred of dignity you had left—barely. your cock twitched helplessly in the open air, shiny with slick pre-cum that trailed obscenely down the length, pooling on the desk’s polished surface. “god, prez, look at you,” he muttered, his tone dripping with mockery as his gaze dragged over your wrecked body. “such a pretty mess.” his hand hovered near your face, fingers flexing like he was deciding whether or not to touch you again. (the anticipation made your stomach churn, heat pooling low in your gut as you fought the urge to beg for it.)

you whimpered, barely able to lift your head to meet his eyes, and his grin turned downright feral. “hmm? what’s the matter? cat got your tongue?” he teased, his voice low and mocking. then, slowly, he reached for his belt, his fingers brushing deliberately against the metal buckle before undoing it. the sharp, metallic clink sent a shiver racing down your spine. the sound was too loud in the quiet room, cutting through the heavy, oppressive air like a blade. it felt deliberate, like a show just for you, and your thighs clenched together, trying to hide the way your cock twitched at the thought of what was coming.

kai slid the belt free from the loops of his jeans in one smooth motion, the leather whispering against the fabric as he pulled it taut between his hands. “you think you deserve it?” he asked, his voice low and rough, every word dragging across your skin like sandpaper.

“i—” you swallowed hard, your voice breaking as you tried to speak. your throat was dry, your lips trembling as you forced yourself to look up at him. the weight of his gaze was suffocating. “i’ll do whatever you want, kai. just—please.” the words spilled out, raw and desperate, the humiliation sharp as you heard yourself begging. but you didn’t care. the ache was unbearable, your entire body trembling with the need for him to just touch you again.

“whatever i want?” he echoed, his voice dripping with condescension. he popped the button of his jeans, dragging the zipper down with an infuriating slowness. (the metallic rasp of the zipper sent another shiver through you, your breathing hitching as he shoved the fabric down his hips, revealing the outline of his cock straining against his boxer briefs.)

your gaze flicked downward, drawn to him like a magnet, and your breath caught in your throat. (the hard, thick length of him pressed against the fabric was impossible to ignore, the heat pooling in your gut turning molten as your thighs trembled.)

“like what you see?” he asked, his voice sharp with mockery, as if he could read every filthy thought running through your head. he steeped closer, his free hand reached out, fingers curling around the back of your neck, his grip firm as he pulled you forward. (the heat of his palm was dizzying, his skin rough against your own, and the closeness made it impossible to think—your cock throbbing painfully as you swallowed hard, your lips parting on instinct.)

you nodded frantically, your wide eyes flicking up to meet his, and kai’s laugh was sharp and cruel. “of course you do,” he muttered, shaking his head. “you’re so fucking easy.”

then he kissed you—hard, messy, claiming—his teeth scraped against your bottom lip, his tongue sliding into your mouth without hesitation. (the taste of him was overwhelming, bittersweet and electric, his mouth demanding and unrelenting, and the sharp sting of his teeth made a broken noise escape from your throat.) his fingers tightened in your hair, pulling you closer, and your hips bucked forward instinctively, your cock brushing against the hard length of his.

kai pulled back, your lips still parted and aching for his. strings of saliva clung between you, catching the dim light in obscene little trails as he licked his lips, his eyes gleaming with something dark and satisfied. “getting ahead of yourself, prez?” he teased, then, without waiting for a response, his free hand slipped between your bodies, wrapping around both of your cocks in one firm, unforgiving grip.

the sudden pressure made your knees buckle, a wrecked moan spilling from your lips before you could stop it. kai didn’t let up, his hand moving in slow, deliberate strokes that had your thighs trembling. (the slick slide of your cock against his sent shockwaves of heat through your body, your breath hitching as you fought the urge to thrust into his hand like some desperate animal.)

“fuck,” kai muttered, his voice rough and low. his eyes were locked on the sight of your cocks sliding together, his grip tightening as he picked up the pace. “look at you. dripping all over me like the needy little slut you are.” the words were cruel, but the heat in his voice, the way his breath hitched as his cock throbbed against yours, sent a fresh wave of arousal coursing through you.

“kai,” you gasped, your hips jerking forward as your thighs trembled, but he didn’t let up. his strokes were relentless, his pace a steady rhythm that had your breath coming in short, shaky gasps.

“bet you’ve never done this with your little frat bros, huh?” kai said, his smirk splitting wider. “jerking each other off after practice? getting off in the showers?” (the filthy imagery burned in your mind, and you couldn’t help the way your cock twitched in his hand, your chest heaving as heat flooded your face.)

“n-no,” you stammered, but the broken, wrecked tone of your voice only seemed to amuse him further.

“liar,” he hissed, his teeth catching the edge of your jaw as his strokes grew faster, rougher. “bet you fucking loved it. all those eyes on you. you’re such a goddamn exhibitionist, prez.”

your knees buckled, the tension in your body overwhelming as every nerve seemed to scream at once. your head dropped forward, your forehead nearly brushing his shoulder, and you gasped out a shaky breath, hips jerking forward in desperate, uncontrollable movements. the pressure in your gut was unbearable now, winding tighter with every stroke of his hand.

kai’s breath was hot against your ear, his lips brushing the shell of it in a way that made you shudder. his grip on your cock tightened, his strokes quick and unrelenting, every pass of his hand sending sparks of heat racing through you. he was relentless, calculated, dragging you right to the edge and holding you there, and it felt like your body was on the verge of snapping in half.

“don’t hold back,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, almost a whisper. it was close enough that you could feel the vibration of it against your skin. “cum for me, wanna feel it all over my hand.”

the words hit like a spark to dry kindling, and the knot in your stomach unraveled all at once. you came with a wrecked, desperate sound, your thighs shaking as sticky ropes of cum spilled over his hand, dripping down to pool on the floor between you. (the sight of it—messy and obscene—made your chest heave, shame and pleasure tangling together in a way that made your head swim.)

kai didn’t stop. his hand kept moving, relentless and precise, dragging you through the aftershocks with strokes that were both merciless and grounding. his own cock pulsed against yours, the sticky heat of his release smearing over your stomach and the softening length of your cock as he groaned low in your ear.

“fuck,” he hissed, his breath hot against your neck, his voice thick with satisfaction and something darker. his hand stayed wrapped around both of you, slick and filthy, dragging his release over your skin as he pressed his lips to the curve of your shoulder. “look at you,” he muttered, the words rough, almost reverent, as his teeth sank into the flesh of your shoulder. the sharp sting sent a jolt through you, grounding you even as your mind swirled, overwhelmed and dazed.

for a moment, the room was filled only with the sound of your ragged breathing, the wet, obscene slide of his hand slowing as he loosened his grip. his chest rose and fell against your back, warm and solid as he held you there, pressed close, his body a steadying anchor. He pulled back slightly, just enough to meet your gaze. his eyes were dark, heavy-lidded and glinting with amusement and satisfaction as his lips curled into a lazy smirk.

“messy,” he drawled, his voice low and languid as his fingers swiped through the cum streaking your stomach, smearing it further over your skin in deliberate, slow motions. he lifted his hand, holding it up for both of you to see. the sticky fluid dripped between his fingers, glistening in the dim light as he turned his hand slightly, watching the way it clung to his skin.

his blue-grey eyes flicked back to yours, the amusement there sharpening into something more commanding. “open up, puppy,” he said softly, the edge of authority in his tone leaving no room for hesitation.

your chest heaved, the remnants of your release leaving you spent and pliant, too dazed to resist. slowly, your lips parted, your body obeying on instinct. kai’s fingers slipped into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue, the taste of salt and musk filling your senses.

“good boy,” he murmured, his voice soft but cutting, the praise settling over you like a warm weight. his thumb dragged over your bottom lip, smearing a trace of cum there as he withdrew his fingers, leaving your mouth feeling empty, aching for more.

© 𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐖𝐓𝐅’𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐘. 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋.

[ayukas]

CATFISHED! profiles

haechan's friend group

lee haechan is a lovable menace (as winter likes to call him), a himbo with a knack for flirting and pulling pranks, especially on his beloved jisung. his favorite target, however, is yn ln, though he swears it means nothing—despite the lingering stares, constant teasing, and the way he always ends up next to her in class.

park jisung swears up and down that he's a heartbreaker, the ultimate ladies' man, but unfortunately for him, haechan ruins his reputation at every given opportunity. despite his self-proclaimed "nonchalant" status, he's actually a total sweetheart, albeit one who cannot keep a secret to save his life. 

kim minjeong aka winter is the silent observer of the friend group, always watching, always listening, and always ready with her phone to capture the best (or worst) moments of her friends' (read: jisung's) lives. most of the time though, she's in her own little bubble with her girlfriend, karina, only really snapping back to reality when there's drama worth witnessing.

yn's friend group

yn ln is the #1 troller of neo college, a menace to society with a sharp mind and an even sharper wit. whether it's elaborate pranks, or just making people look dumb for fun, she's always one step ahead of everyone else. she's the one person who can rival haechan's chaotic energy, which is probably why they get along so well.

jeno lee is quite possibly the most patient man alive, which is both a blessing and a curse because it means he puts up with yn's endless antics without ever stopping her. as her favourite victim, he has been pranked, teased, and used as a prop more times than he can count with his fingers alone.

na jaemin is just as sweet as jeno but way more gullible, which makes him yn's second favourite victim. he's a little out of touch with gen z trends, leading to constant teasing from yn and jeno... though usually easygoing, he's competitive when provoked, especially when yn's pranks go too far, leading him to take revenge in ways she never expects.

masterlist / next

notes i had so much fun writing the profiles LOL ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ also introduction will be posted tomorrow instead IM SORRY i feel so extra sleepy today but im hoping this smau will have regular (daily) updates!!!! ive already planned out the whole storyline and We Are In For A Ride... #pray4ayukas... I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY/NIGHT AHEADDD :D

taglist @chenlezip @ddolbyong @4yunogf @wonbin-truther @f6llsun @nislost @yujinhys @dudekiss3r @iamsimplyasimp @222brainrot @lyvhie @spacejip @https-yeonjun @darumdarimdaa @worldwidecutiemaya @numberonekeehostan @mae3xoxo @kukkurookkoo @chan-yeoldelling @mmjhh1998 @kaosuni @spideykeyring @flaminghotyourmom @serenedreamscape @luvs4haechan @hoodsheaven @moonlightblunt @jwisteroid7 @ohmysion @n0hyuck @joonsprettygf @insbread @bunnysoonie @rubiiisyeon @taroddori @nahyuckers @slayhaechan @haechology @222low @multifandomania @kodasity @sunghoonsgfreal @ihatefrvits @jeonghansshitester @luvvhaechan

[twiixr4kidz]

Glad that you active again! Can I request 7 evil exes with touch-starved reader?

yeah ofc!! apologies if my formatting is off, im writing this on my phone xD

matthew patel

matthew is one very touch-starved man

whenever you're together, you're immediately in each other's arms

like he genuinely cannot take his hands off of you

not that you're complaining

you'll go from touch-starved to touch-full in no time

his love language is touch for sure so he has no problem being attached to your hip 24/7

AND he gives like, the best hugs ever

Lucas Lee

he's very used to being touched but not in a traditional sense

he gets touched a lot during movie shootings but it isn't like, genuine, loving, intimate touch

he's a little surprised with how touchy you can be but he's also like, a total whore for your attention, so he eats it up

expect lots of long, warm hugs and forehead kisses out of nowhere

he doesn't realize how meaningful it is to you

Todd Ingram

todd is honestly pretty touch-starved himself

but he's also simultaneously nervous when it comes to physical contact

he's a little silly like that yknow!!

if you like, talk to him directly about it, he'll definitely try to be better about touching you

it'll start off really slow but you'll start to notice his lingering touches and how he holds your hand more often in public

he's such a sweetheart

he just wants you to feel comfortable and happy

Roxie Richter

you're never going to have to worry when it comes to miss roxanne

she's on you ALL THE TIME

her arms are always wrapped around your waist or your neck or your torso

and she has no qualms against kissing you or touching you in public if that's what you need

hell, sometimes she worries she's touching you TOO much

she's not

you eat it up, and she gets so giddy when she realizes how happy you are

Kyle Katayanagi

he doesn't really realize how touch starved you are unless you point it out

he's the kind of guy who doesn't really notice things if that makes sense

the kind of "oh shit i didn't realize babe im so sorry i love u" guy

however, he DOES consider himself a very touchy person

he picks you up A LOT

if the two of you are standing around, he'll run his fingers through your hair and lazily braid it together while you talk

if he's lounging on the couch watching tv, he'll tell you to come over and lay on his chest

it really is the little things that count

Ken Katayanagi

he's shockingly clingy which is really good for someone who's so touch-starved

he's always inviting you to come "chill" with him, which usually consists of him holding you and burying his face into your chest

he can tell if you're having a "i need to be held" kinda day and he jumps on it immediately

he's a little nervy when it comes to PDA but if you ask, what kind of boyfriend would he be to deny??

Gideon Graves

you will absolutely have to tell him how you're feeling

not because he's a dick (well, i mean, sometimes.......) but because he's just a little dumb

but yknow what else he is???

ANNOYING (i mean this affectionately)

you need a hug?? you're getting CRUSHED.

you need him to hold you?? he'll wrap you up in a blanket burrito and swaddle you like a baby.

he's a total ding dong and everything he does is followed with a laugh, but he only does it to make you happy

[antiendovents]

actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

[athetos-outcast-goddess]

Transandrophobia is an inherently transmisogynistic ideology. you are an mra with a fresh coat of paint. yes, trans men are oppressed, but y'all're oppressed for being trans, not for specifically being trans men. if you're closeted or misgendered, yeah you experience misogyny. but it's an or. not an and.

transfems are oppressed for being transfem specifically, we experience the intersection of transphobia and misogyny, and thus, we coined the term transmisogyny.

to say that transandrophobia exists is to imply that androphobia exists; that men are oppressed for being men. this is an inherently antifeminist statement; men are not oppressed for being men, they are rewarded for being men.

and trans men get this reward to! in queer spaces, in spaces where y'all's identity is respected and all else is equal, trans men regularly, routinely, so fucking frequently it makes me nauseous, experience preferential treatment over transfems.

just i. look at yourself and what you've written. look at the tag for transandrophobia, or transmisandry, or antitransmasculinity, or whatever other dumbass words y'all come up with to try to avoid the unavoidable antifeminist implications of your ideology. count how many of those posts are hating on, complaining about, and attacking transfems. its a disgusting amount.

sure whatever. fuck it, words have no meaning. im so damn tired of seeing and thinking about and responding to this dumb fucking take.

YOU CAN ALWAYS PLAY THE CARD OF "IM NOT ACTUALLY A TRANS WOMAN". YOU DO NOT CONSTANTLY EXPERIENCE SYSTEMIC, INSTITUTIONAL TRANSMISOGYNY. THE MOMENT YOUR STATUS AS A TRANSMASC IS KNOWN, YOU CEASE TO BE A TARGET OF TRANSMISOGYNY.

I CANNOT AVOID IT, CANNOT ESCAPE IT, CANNOT EVER NOT BE A TRANNY. I, AND OTHERS LIKE ME, ARE ALWAYS, CONSTANTLY, IN EVERY SITUATION EXPERIENCING BOTH INDIVIDUAL BIGOTRY AND SYSTEMIC, INSTITUTIONAL TRANSMISOGYNY.

WE ARE NOT THE FUCKING SAME.

[nevermorgue]

Hayley! I hope you're well! I come into your inbox to ask about your thoughts and opinions on each spectre, and your favorite ones! Love your blog! :D

HIIII!! I’m so fantastic thank YOU for coming in here. I love your art and your rambles.

My favorite spectres currently are Will’s and Duke’s. But I really love them all. I’ll go into the opinions now

Annabel’s Lady in White - I think she’s beautiful. I love her abilities and the whole bride thing she has going on. I at first wished her dress was more detailed but it’s fine to grow on me. I love the petals, and the hole in her chest is agonizing. Such a pretty spectre. kiss of death is just sooooo. idk her abilities are definitely one of my top favorites.

Morella’s Guardian Spirit - Plain-ish compared to the others, but still fantastic. I feel like her and Annabel are slept on because of how early they were revealed. I love how long her hair gets and the whole celtic vibe. and that she’s mainly defense with the healing and stuff! it’s very unique and it says sooo much about her past. if it were me i’d make her look a little less human wirh maybe more glowing or something but she’s still fabulous :)

Pluto’s Cryptid - im so so so interested in this because apparently domesticated cryptids are super rare? I wanna know more about the other cryptids poppet mentioned so badly. its so fucked that he has a collar too!!! he wanted to escape society but even in death it's like he's bound by the neck. I'm dying for info on that dumb coat too. He's so silly looking. I really wanna see his other abilities. I'll have a stronger opinion when that comes. Ada's Banshee

- I am dying to know what "Mark of the Grave" is so bad. And I love her confusing ass torso. Is she a shadow. is it a dress. I want to know. also LOVE how her limbs being detachable/having the stitch marks implies she was chopped up and buried like that. and her hat. thats a very "southern belle lady" sort of hat. she gets to be the lady she always wanted, just ugly and hideous!! love her and i love her spectre. "fear itself" is one of my favorite abilities and i hope she utilizes it more cough cough on will-

Prospero's Shadow Man - i am dying to know if he can take the mask off. imagine he's like. a sickly corpse looking kind of thing. like himself but rotting or weak as hell. i LOVE his abilities i just wish he had more detaaaailing. hes so cool and handsome though. i also think its super weird/cool how he has to activate his abilities with the stopwatch. i havent seen any other spectres have a "trigger point" like that. would he be rendered useless without it? Montresor's Dybbuk - nipple rings. sorry anyways - i love the chains. because it's not like he's using them, he's the one chained. and the whole. goat legs thing. bc goats are associated with the devil for some reason. I wonder why that is. idk i just love the whole demon thing. because he's been seen as such since like. his birth. and he cant even escape it in death. love it love his shit. his ability to force his way into peoples' memories is CRAZY too i cannot WAIT to see more of that. Eulalie's Chimera - SOOOO pretty. So aesthetically pleasing. I love how she can make stuff with her dreams!!! and the fact that its implied she can yank malevolent spectres back into their regular forms is soooo cool. and just the fact that she can neutralize other spectres in general is such a unique power. shes like defense similar to morella, just in a different way minus healing. i love her. i really dont dislike any spectre i just love them all. Berenice's Strigoi - I will forever be mad that her teeth count as an ability but WHATEVER. She's still badass. I can only imagine how it must feel to basically lose your hands. I'm really excited to see what "Bloodlust" as an ability does. like there are so many cool spectre abilities we havent seen in action yet. The bite that makes you drunk will forever be iconic too. I love her look and i love how her whole outfit is directly correlated to her time period. also love how like each mouth on her is like. its own being. she cant control it. Duke's Poltergeist - I need to like control myself because I will yap nonstop about this one. The NEONS the colors are just fantastic and I LOOOOVE HIS EYES. THE EYES. all of his abilities fuck so hard and i love how like. his "hypnosis" isnt really like full hypnosis its more like a very powerful suggestion? and he couldnt even figure out how to get ada out of it? like he didnt TELL her to use her ability on montresor, he just kinda planted the idea in her head. i also noticed that one of his abilities IS levitation despite us seeing other spectres float on multiple occasion. so the key difference here is the telekinesis portion of the power. just thought that was silly. love him. i love duke. he's my 2nd fave. Will's Doppelganger - i physically have to stop myself from writing a page's worth of bs here. He has DIRT IN HIS JOINTS. like he's DIRTY. like buried and forgotten!! and if he's dust bowl era like so many of us think, perhaps its that same dust. he was left buried in it...forgotten. unidentified. And and and he's SO OP. everyone IC is underestimating how he has one of the most powerful spectres. He was able to almost fool the misfits as duke, he honestly did a fantastic job. He has to memorize so much. like its genuinely impressive. and then his ribbons. notice how they wrap around HIM before/during use. like he's fucking tangled in in them too, not just his victims. i dont think he's ever been free. he's never not been wrapped up in someone else's shit. he's never been "william". i- i need to stop. hes the best. best spectre- and i pray that the characters realize how much POWER he really has.

[evilmaycry]

watched episodes 4-6 of the cartoon and i took some notes

notes and thoughts on the first three episodes are here

as before, spoilers below - fair warning, i go in stupid detail and i rant a lot

first and foremost:

still cannot believe eva was a single mother to twins.

Sparda gets called a deadbeat verbatim, and Dante genuinely didn't know who his dad was lol

agni and rudra being australian was not funny. joke didnt land. also the designs were pretty atrocious - they reminded me of the clone bad guys from invincible lmao

inb4 the christian zealot vp is Probably Real Bad Guy All Along...

Kept count of every time Mary swears during this run of episodes, stay tuned.

The constant switch in the animation in some segments is pretty jarring.. 🤢

dante gets the number wrong, thinking that millennia means 100,000 years. or maybe the writers, producers, directors and editors had an oversight. Honestly Dante might be a little dumb but he is not in anyway unintelligent... So... #NotMyDante

On this segment my written notes continue with "WHY ARE THEY AUSTRALIAN?!?!"

It is highly cringe that A&R are literal demons and not just automaton bodies controlled by sentient swords. Also the whole fight in the plane is pointless and there is no sense of hype because the entire design of the scene is shit from an ass, the enemies look like poop from a butt and there is no sense of hype whatsoever

-Pretty dumb that the devil trigger awakening was emotions lol. Also absolutely no hype here for him to obtain a power up because they advertised it several times.

The devil form is pretttyyyyyy fucking ugly and feels over and under designed at the same time.

Back to the winter soldier (Mary) she is helped by some people who put themselves in danger for her. OH THEY ARE DEMONS!! THEY ARE DEMON IMMIGRANTS ESCAPING THEIR RUINED WORLD!!! THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE WHO JUST WANT A BETTER LIFE!!

Rabbit experiments on children and there is nothing else noteworthy after this.

Episode 5 begins and my first notes are how the demon design is so bad. Like ok they are supposed to be ugly but they are boring and stupid looking. I had the same issue with the castlevania cartoon. Some demons looked stupid AF and not threatening or bad

One of the only good/funny things mary has said in the whole run of the show is "looks like you killed the wrong bitch" at echidna. like ok that made me giggle

new version of Nero's theme song plays as Dante transforms lol. This shit is so ass!!!!!

I noted that at this point, there is no difference between Dante's and Nero's voices. If I closed my eyes all I heard was Nero

I learned earlier today that a lot of people didnt know that Mary's canon name is Mary Ann Arkham, but im pretty sure we've known this since dmc5 released.

The rabbit calls dante "DONTE". how did that get past the director 😫

Yeah they are evacuating the """"MAKAI"""" refugees but we know theyre going to harm them lol.

Sparda's DNA gets mentioned again and again. This shit is SO ASS!!!

They lined up the demon refugees and killed them in cold blood.

we are ok and starting to accept and sympathize with the rabbit because well wouldnt it be better that they take the world from the "murderous apes"

For episode 6, I did not take many notes because it´s probably the only good episode and the stylistic change was pretty good, however, it's basically propaganda

At this point, we are supposed to feel bad for the "MAKAI" refugees and root for them, and hate humans because they are corrupt and evil

This show is trying to gain traction and acceptance through disguising a story that SHOULD NOT BELONG IN A DEVIL MAY CRY ADJACENT PRODUCT. Like "actually the show was good because it showed refugees might seem evil to us but they are actually good" ok but they used literal evil, perverted and degenerate beings to be oppressed actually. Like lol. I felt bad for the makai people but im smart enough to know why all this shit was presented this way.

At this point, I believe this story wouldve been good as a stand alone product, without the devil may cry name, because all it does is truly TAINT the good reputation that DMC has.

God knows im as woke as anyone can get, but I see right through the guy who attented the current US president's inauguration and made a post about thanking him. lol i know he is disingenuous and he is trying to cause a divide. People who hate his shitty ass product is a bigot an doesnt care about the current political and humanitarian status of the world... die adi. my god, what a fucking hack.

If you don't care about the Makaians you're actually a bad person. The story is trying to manipulate us, and this is probably some new fans or complete noobs are falling for it.

People who inevitably will pick up the games, excited from the show are in for a rude awakening. That the lore of DMC is complete apolitical and Dante is not the woohoo teehee pizza guy, but just a witty charismatic hot guy.

And why does the other guy speak in Dante's voice??!

I will probably have more to share once i am done watching this tomorrow. And the final thoughts will be posted.

MARY SWEAR WORD TALLY FOR EPS 4 TO 6: 11

I think it was more than that, because I started counting once I thought it becoming excessive for a single episode lol

[cupidjyu]

a little crush

(ot11) when he has a crush on someone (specifically, you)(request hehe thank you!!)

notes: headcanons yet i write a whole FIC for each of them LMAO sorry!! and for the anon who requested like a whole month ago IM so sorry i am working on it, i didnt see it until yesterday :( word count: 2k

sangyeon

the tough guy

believe me when i say that this dude will put on the dumbest tough persona on

like as soon as he realizes that he has a crush, he cannot handle any of his feelings

so whenever he’s around he just… sort of puffs his chest out and does that stupid deep voice thing

“oh yeah i definitely enjoy that movie.” his throat is STRAININGGG “we should you know… *coughs* see it together some time.”

“is your voice okay?”

like bro already has a deeper voice and he makes it lower?? to seem cooler? like man you sound like kermit the frog but okay

but other than that, since his love language is acts of service, he utilizes that so much

almost too much

like if you’re thirsty, he suddenly shows up with smoothies of every single flavor

and if you ever question why, he says some dumb thing like

“im rich”

like ???????? okay????? good for you????

anyway, just know that he tries to put this tough guy thing on but if you ever so give him any affection, he will melt into putty

jacob

the overthinker

he’s just so sweet i don’t even know how to describe it

like when he realizes, it doesn’t really change anything for him. he just thinks oh!!! that’s why i was sweating around them haha

but i feel that he starts to overthink everything

because he likes a person of course he wants to treat them 10x better

but hes scared

he wants to hold your hand! and so he does. very. slowly.

like he’s um that sloth from zootopia. and you notice and you stare at him weirdly like

“do you want to hold my hand or something?”

“what!!! no!! definitely not!!” and then he will blush and pout ADORABLY. “maybe i do,” he would whisper under his breath

and it’s so hard to resist him so you just grab it for him. and he kind of just explodes

and as you’re walking together he will STILL overthink

like he’d bombard you with questions. “is my hand too sweaty? too hot? do you want to let go?”

maybe shush him up with a kiss (WHAT)

anyway, he just panics a lot, i think. so best to soothe him or he might just combust

younghoon

the softy

initially, when he thought of you just as a friend, he liked to tease you a lot. like a bunch of jokes and insults

but after he comes to the realization that he might have a crush on you, he starts treating you with utmost care

and it kind of scares you at first

“aren’t you supposed to be bullying me?”

“me? no never! who said?”

“said the same younghoon like a week ago.”

but it doesn’t mean that the caring side of him isn’t the cutest thing ever. like it’s so cute that you might just question how much sweeter he would be as a… boyfriend

what!! snap out of it!

he’s just naturally a very observant person and knows exactly what you would need

if your eyes are drooping from exhaustion, he would shyly lend you his shoulder to sleep on

a really great pillow. falling asleep on him is now your guys’ new thing. and he loves it

sometimes he’ll take a selfie of you asleep on his shoulder and he’ll stare at it for hours

hyunjae

the jokester

when i tell you that hyunjae is the opposite of younghoon

at first, he’s a bit more serious. of course he has his jokes, but he’d rather treat you with politeness

but once he figures out that he might have a crush!!! he kind of loses his mind

he knows that he’s not good at hiding his feelings, his blushing, his sweatiness, his everything

so how does he cover it up? jokes. very obnoxious jokes.

like bro will not leave you alone. of course, he never does anything downright mean, but he does enjoy teasing you

but always after the teasing, he’s completely genuine again

like if you dress up one day he’ll say “look who’s dressed up? trying to impress someone?”

and when you get bothered or flustered, he will give you a sweet smile and he’s quick to reassure you

“you look very nice today. im sorry” he will blush and laugh sheepishly

sometimes though, he gets a bit too much

like if he’s getting really really loud, all you have to do is lean closer to him

his eyes would widen and he will be quiet REAL fast (gotchu!!!!)

he will stutter and pull away and he will not talk for the next 30 minutes with how dazed he is

he gets dazed very often. if you laugh he’s in a trance. you smile and he’s smiling back with GOOGLY EYES (like how he does to chanhee LMAO)

juyeon

the clumsy one

he’s such a fool

like that’s just it

when it comes to him that he likes you, oh he doesn’t know how to act

and since he’s already clumsy, when around you he’s like 100x time clumsier

like if you guys are walking together and you laugh or smile, he’s so busy staring at you that he trips on the sidewalk

and then he has a bloody nose

and then he’s overthinking so much he’s like oh my god oh my god my crush hates me now

but once you reassure him that you still like him he will relax again. in fact he’s just too cute to resist

he definitely tries his best. sometimes he wants to get you something good to eat. he will spend so much money for you

and when he gives it to you, you’re allergic. nothing works out for him and he’s spiraling again

“i’m so sorry” he would whine. “i didn’t know”

“shh it’s okay” you would laugh. bonus points if you press a quick kiss to his hand and he will be stuttering forever

kevin

the natural lover

he is the most natural out of everyone. when he figures out why he’s been so nervous around you, he doesn’t actually change much

he’s still nervous but he isn’t going to fall down stairs for you or anything

but he is going to start giving gifts a lot more. like anything that reminds him of you he will be buying

especially his art!!!! (yk how much i love artist kevin)

like you know how artists don’t tend to draw other people when asked? if you ask him oh he will gladly oblige

he will have you posing so ridiculously and he will be drawing to the best of his ability

“you’re so focused that you’re tongue is poking out.”

he would laugh nervously “oh really? i just… want this to turn out good.”

and when he gives it to you it’s just so beautiful. like it’s so beautiful and colorful and it makes you wonder is this how he sees you??

okay so now he’s blushing. it’s his art what would one expect?!

but compliment his skills and he will definitely be giggling himself to sleep.

his sketchbook is full of you from every angle btw

chanhee

the moment capturer

chanhee seems to be a lot more somber about it

he’s genuinely not so sure if he would ever have a chance with you

so yk what he does?? he takes pictures

he loves to take pictures of other people with his camera

so when he realizes he has a crush, he will bring his camera with him whenever he’s with you

“smile.”

“you took like fifty pictures already!”

“never enough” he would stick his tongue out

he loves capturing you doing anything. eating, smiling, anything

and once at home, he will look through the pictures and laugh to himself about how nice you look

sometimes he’ll send some to you and you’ll tell him to delete them

he keeps them anyway

and at some point if you ever so leave him, at least he’ll have the memory

bro someone needs to tell him he has a chance

he’s so hopeless TT

like it isn’t the end of the world, he just needs to confess LMAO he's just scared

changmin

the runaway

when he realizes that he has a crush he will flee from you immediately

he’s afraid and doesn’t want to take it face on

so whenever you try to be near him, he will flinch away

he doesn’t want his feelings to interfere with you, he doesn’t want to bother you

but don’t worry!! as soon as you talk to him about it, he will be ALL OVER YOU in a second

though of course, he’s still a little bit more cautious then before, he puts more feeling behind his touch

he used to only hug you as a joke or to bother you

but now, he hugs you when his feelings are too strong

“wh-what are you doing?” you ask when he suddenly pulls you into a tight hug

HES SO ADORABLE he’ll just bury his face into like your shoulder and BLUSHHHH

“im just… happy with you.”

AWWWWWWW he becomes so genuine

same thing with holding hands. he used to grab it to pull you closer from a passing car. but now he does it because he believes your hands are cold without his

it’s summer time.

but don’t remind him

haknyeon

the treater

haknyeon’s love language is showing you all the places he enjoys

he already does this with you but that would be like a weekly thing

after realizing, oh boy it becomes a daily thing…

like everyday, he shows up at your place and is like

“let’s go i know a good ice cream place”

“it’s like 6 am”

“but there’s usually a long line there!”

he just loves treating you to things. when he treats you to food, he will watch with an adorable smile when you try out his recommendation

or when he takes you shopping, he will always give you compliments when you try on clothes

and after, he will buy it for you !!!!

no matter if it’s super expensive or not, he just wants to see you smile

when you catch onto the change in his behavior, he will not deny it

he will definitely be shy about it but eventually he will tell you the truth with a shy smile

sunwoo

the shy boy

ik that a lot of peoples impression is that when he likes someone, he will be a big flirter

but really he’s only flirty when he thinks of you as a friend OR when hes already dating you

in between, where he has a crush on you oh my god hes the shyest cutie youll ever see

like say he’s handsome and he cant breath for the next hour

or if you ever so smile he will be sitting next to you trying to hold in his giggle

“*covering his face with his hands* you’re so…. AGH” and you stare at him like he’s insane

you may be confused but it slowly becomes more and more obvious

like just test it out! grab his hand and he’s biting his lip so hard to hold in his smile

like once he was smiling so hard he fell backwards in his chair

he was MORTIFIED

eric

your best friend

this dude is genuinely the most confusing guy you’ll ever meet when it comes to feelings

like he has a crush on you but hes also a huge coward

so yk what he does

he friendzones himself

like BRO??

like if he does anything remotely romantic he will literally be like “oh this is what friends do!!”

like one time he literally kissed the top of your head

you ask why

“its because we’re best friends” HUH??

like no two bffs do that cmon bro fess up

but if you confront him he will never lie

hes not capable of lying hes like an honest puppy

so he will slowly begin to stop friendzoning himself

like when he intertwines fingers with you

now he says, “i enjoy being with you.” with the sweetest smile

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Soooo a reply in the most recent Oil Is Thicker Than Blood release (by @dronebiscuitbat ) gave me an idea! And threw my impulse control out of my window!

BE WARNED: this contains a more than implied spicy Nuzi scene, which is canon in the universe of Oil Is Thicker Than Blood. I also tried my best to finish this so be also warned for potentially sucky writing lmao

Edit: I FOUND THE GUY THAT INSPIRED THIS SHIT IT'S @/makiyu23 THANK YOU DUDE THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT YOU

[EAVESDROPPING]

That red eyed freak... She's gonna pay.

Crawling in the vents. She always loved crawling around, whether it's the roof, the walls, or the ventilation systems, it always felt so good and satisfying.

This time didn't feel good the usual way now. It felt good like a revenge. Fitting.

While she's doing that, she found a few trinkets along the way! Neat! Things to look at instead of her glasses! She always disliked looking at her own glasses out of boredom, it brings memories she doesn't have consent for... Y'know what else she didn't consent to?

...

Let's not joke about that time, V...

...

Anyway! Back to searching through the vents! And sending those updates on the red thing stuff too!

"robo-god i fucking love crawling it's satisfying like-..." She stops for a moment... Then sighs... "Let's not ramble about these things alone V, you'll seem crazier than you already are..."

After long minutes of crawling around in the vents and sending updates on the search, she started to hear something...

Talking?

There's people talking...

There's people talking.

"Look, i'm just sayin', we can't have these Murder Drones in 'ere at all, ya know their body count? As someone who like- counts the deaths and missing drone cases, i say they're up to like- the THOUSANDS!"

"You know Khan's orders and announcement, they're living with us now, end of. We cannot keep having this conversation, Sean..."

"Susan please just- just understand what i'm trying to say here!"

"We can't keep up a relationship if all you're gonna ramble about is the Murder Drones wanting to make amends."

A Worker with an irish accent... Rambling to another, 50% masculine 50% feminine and 100% tired sounding, about the fact that she and N are living in the bunker with them and how he's against it. Of course. If she could drop down right then and there... She would. But she can't, she made a promise... Stupid promise but hey, she cares about that idiot.

...

Stupid feelings, stupid concept of caring, stupid core, now she feels all mushy and gross...

Ughh, get back to work you trauma bag!

Beep. Update sent. And as she crawls around the vents, a message for Lizzy. Heehee Lizzy she cute- SHUT UP BRAIN.

SD-V: yo liz i caught two people talking while i crawled in the vents, wanna hear?

A few seconds later...

Lizthequeen: OMG yes!!! drop the gossip gurl!!!

SD-V: so theres these two workers talkin shit about me and n for obvious reasons and apparantly these two workers are also a dumb lovey dovey couple

Lizthequeen: oh shiz you talking about sean and susan??? oh theyre having constant problems with their relationship i heard!!

SD-V: thats what im saying. theyre in constant problems with their relationship yeah

Lizthequeen: they are fr?? daaayyuummm gurl...... are they breaking up now???

V stopped to look back and crawl a little backwards to hear...

"... Susan- Susan please don't do this to me-"

"No no no no you know what? You know what? We're done here, all you ramble about is your racism, fuck you and fuck off"

"Susan please!"

Then a slam... Then a sigh...

"... WELL GOOD RIDDANCE I FUCKING GUESS!"

She began crawling forward again... God damn.

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: RN????? HOLY SHIT?????

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: they finally broke up........ thank you for sharing the info bestie i owe u so much

SD-V: yeah you owe me a good hanging out

What the FUCK. WHY DID YOU SEND THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

V immediately stopped messaging in flustered frustration, yellow filling her visor and embarrassment filling her... Everything. Fuck's sake.

...

...

...

Lizthequeen: what do u mean by that ;3c

SD-V: nothing shut up buzz off im busy anyway BYE

Then to the right goes the program...

...

...

...

That was stupid.

...

...

Okay that's processed.

As she crawled by, she began to hear more chatter... Right, people exist.

"Guy imma need to talk to ya"

"Oh no. My name in b flat. I'm in trouble"

"More like i wanna discuss something with you regarding the whole Khan's daughter and N thing..."

"... Am i in trouble?"

"Stop saying you're in trouble, i just wanna talk"

PFFFFT

"“Stop saying you're in trouble” yeah shut up before you get in trouble hehehehehe-"

"What the HELL was that?!"

V squeaked in surprise, then yelled back, attempting to threaten the two into submission.

"YOU BETTER NOT TRY ME OR I WILL DROP DOWN AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU TOASTERS!!"

...

...

"Okay, no need to yell lass, we would've listened anyway"

"Yeah what Han said"

V sighed in relief and kept crawling and sending updates. Situation avoided.

...

...

Crawling by crawling by, crawling by for the sake of your life~

This is getting really boring, i fucking hate this now i wanna go home~

She sang as she crawled in the vents, sending updates every few as she found new things and new gossip, making herself laugh a little as she crawled... She needed those laughs and those moments. She needed a break from the tension and the fear. The dread. That red eyed freak...

...

That red eyed freak.

...

"You want me to lead?" She heard, faintly, as she crawled about...

What in the god damn?? Uzi??

"Lay down then"

What????????

She crawled forward and stopped to hear the possible new gossip...

...

What the fuck are they doing down there.

"Relax, okay?"

"O-okay..."

Uzi?? N?? What are they...

...

Oh they can't be.

"I-i'm not t-that insteresting"

"You're gorgeous, actually"

"Shouldn't i be saying that to y-you?"

Nuh uh they're not i don't believe... N would be a bottom though.

A little more of hearing from inside the vents, it becomes clearer as every second passes. She can't move.

She jerks a leg forward, yet it's stiff. She can't move.

She tries the same with one arm, it's stiff too. She can't move.

She tries to at least launch herself forward, but her whole body is stiff. She can't move.

She sighs... I can't move... I can't stop hearing...

"Ngh... Uzi..."

JUST MOVE LET THEM BE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOV

She jerks an arm, trying to continue crawling.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

FINALLY.

She manages to continue crawling by...

After ceaseless crawling, ending up finding nothing, and having heard quite the event... You think she'll have a word or two for them about it?

She's laid down across the ground, alone in her nest in the spire, seemingly dissociating after the events that transpired...

"Well... Damn." Her last words said in surprise.

...

...

...

...

...

We never got to go far in our relationship.

She swapped her hand up with the submachine gun and aimlessly let loose a barrage of bullets, drowning her thoughts in noise. Drowning her sorrows in noise.

Heavy breathing, panting.

...

"Let's not think of that, V..."

[rafedaddy01]

literal favorite rafe writer 🫶🏼

how about rafe x fem!reader where rafe has topper and kelce over and they are hanging out and y/n is sitting on rafe’s lap reading a romance book and she reaches a smutty scene with has her clenching her thighs and rafe notices and leans into her ear and tells her “what he is doing to her cannot even compare to what im gonna do to you babygirl…” and after top and kelce leave he takes her to his room and she rides his thigh, and after he fucks her in the shower with a praise kink, her riding him in the bath.

thanks 🫶🏼

Aww, you guys are so kind ♥️

I was sitting on Rafes lap reading my book. The book in question is one of my spicy ones.

Rafe had his friends over and I didn’t feel like listening to them talk about video games so I cozied up in my boyfriends lap and started reading;

“He grins as he takes both of my wrists and secures the cuffs around them”

“Your going to lie there and take whatever I give you, he tells her”

“Your going to cum whenever I allow it”

My thighs clench at a specific part in the book and Rafe notices. He looks down at me but I’m too focused on reading to see that he has peeked over my shoulder and is reading along with me

“Her hands clench into fists as her orgasm takes over her body”

“I’m not done with you yet, he tells her”

“Is that how you want to be treated? You want me to break your body with orgasms?” Rafes deep voice in my ear makes me jump.

I quickly shut the book and look up at him “I-“ I don’t even know what to say, it is what I want.

Rafe shoots me a wink before going back to the conversation between Topper and Kelce.

A few hours later the boys have left and my nerves are getting the best of me because I know Rafe is planning something after catching me reading that.

I’m sitting on his bed when he comes back to the room and shuts the door, the lock clicking behind him.

Shit

“You know-“ Rafe starts saying as he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it on the ground before stalking over to the bed.

“I don’t appreciate you reading those kinds of books in front of me, do I not satisfy you enough?” He asks, shooting one of his eyebrows up as he leans his palms on the bed and traps my body under his.

“Y-you do, Rafe. I-I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry!” I babble. I know I’m in trouble, but I also know I’ll be rewarded so playing dumb might piss him off but it’ll also get me what I want.

“I-I shouldn’t have done that, sir” I purr the last word and intertwine my fingers behind his head and watch as goosebumps coat his body at the term.

He lets out a low growl as he flips me over and I’m straddling his lap “careful y/n, just cuz I’m being nice doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you”

“Oh I’m counting on it” I say as I start grinding down on his crotch

“Ah ah ah, not so fast” he says shaking a finger at me

“I want you here” he says tapping his thigh

“Your gonna ride my thigh until you get off at least twice” he plasters on a big smile while holding up two fingers.

I roll my eyes and shift over so I’m sitting on one of his thighs.

“Loose the clothes” he says

I strip down so I’m just in my bra and get to work

I start rolling my hips and dragging my clit along the material of his jeans, it’s rough but it feels so good and the more I grind the more arousal leaks from me and coats his jeans to make it easier to rub on it

One of my hands holds onto the bed frame behind Rafes head and the other grips his right shoulder.

“Oh fuck” I moan out as I start riding his thigh

“C-can I come?” I mumble as I grind harder and faster, feeling my release coming up

“Go ahead” Rafe says as he sits there and watches me fall apart on his thigh with a smirk

“Now-“ he said rubbing up and down the side of my stomach before undoing my bra and watching it fall away “again” he slaps me ass and I moan as I start grinding again

“Holy shit, Rafe!” I moan as I throw my head back and feel my clit throb with excitement.

I feel Rafes tongue latch onto my right nipple while his fingers twist and play with the left and I lose it. “Fuck fuck fuck!” I scream out as more of my juices coat his jeans.

I slump against his bare chest as I catch my breath.

“Such a good girl” Rafe praises me as he strokes my hair and runs his fingers up and done my naked spine. “Let’s get you cleaned up” Rafe says as he gently Carrie’s me to the shower and starts undressing while the water heats up

Once we’re in the shower Rafe hugs me from the back and starts massaging my breasts up with soap and I let out a low moan

“That feel good?” He asks and I nod.

I can feel his hard cock pressing into my lower back and it makes my thighs clench.

“Does my baby want more?” He asks as he runs one hand down my chest and stomach, to my bare pussy. “Oh your so wet” he groans as he quickly turns me around and pushes my back against the shower wall

“Jump”

I do as he says and he wraps my legs around his body while the wall holds me up. I feel his growing cock in between my legs, pressing against my seeping cunt and I start grinding “shit Rafe, fuck me. Please!” I cry out as he sucks on my neck

Wasting no time he positions himself and thrusts in, slamming my body against the wall “fuck y/n, always so tight for me” he groans out as his hips repeatedly snap

My tits bounce with the force of his thrusts and the shower fills with moans and groans and grunts from us.

“Don’t cum until I tell you” he says as he continues his assault on my pussy.

Fuck I don’t know if she could take one more orgasm after just having two in a row.

“Rafe! Please!” I moan out as his fingers tease my clit

“Not yet baby, hold it”

I can feel his cock twitch inside me and I know he’s close too

I pull him by the back of his neck and press my lips to his. He grunts into my mouth as his pace picks up. He has to be in my guts by now, this position and his length, he’s deep inside me and it feels so good I might explode. I will if he doesn’t give me permission soon

“Rafe” I mutter against his lips and he delivers me one harsh slam before resting his forehead on mine. “Now”

I come apart as soon as the words leave his mouth and Rafes follows after.

He lets my legs down and helps steady me before reaching for the shampoo and massaging it into my scalp.

“Mmm, thank you baby” I moan as his fingers soap up my hair.

“For this or for the best orgasms of your life?

I giggle as I wrap my hands around his waist “both”

He presses a kiss to my nose and continues washing me.

I hope this is good ♥️

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx

[jesus-is-an-ally]

How do you get past feeling stupid when you believe in God? Like, how do you ignore the feeling that you should be an atheist and not believe in God and that all this is just, a fake made up religion meant to control people? And obviously when i say you i mean i. I want to believe but i feel so dumb for it. I know im a smart person but every time i get involved with christianity i feel like im taking to an imaginary friend because thats how everyone refers to it. I feel like im feeding into an industry that colonized people, when i dont even go to church.

And ive had experiences with God that feel so unlike any religious experience ive had, but my brain always forces me to logic it away. Like ill feel an immeasurable level of calm and happiness and then my brain will go 'those are just endorphins'. How do i get past that?

Long read ahead, but I encourage everyone to read it, because I did my best to answer this and I think there's some good stuff in here.

Hey anon. First I'd like to say that I am not professionally trained, I do not possess a biblical degree of any kind, nor am I a pastor or a priest or anyone like that. But I have been a Christian my entire life, so that should count for something, Lord willing.

I also want to say that I think this is a very good question and I thank you for asking it, as it gave me a chance to think deeply on my faith in order to put it into words.

I always find it really hard to explain faith. I struggle to explain to fellows Christians, to non-Christians, and especially to people who aren’t religious or spiritual in any way. This is probably because faith is very much not a thing of this world, so it is nit easily translatable. But I will try my best.

I too have dealt with doubts in my life. I have felt the need to logic it away. All Christians have one doubt or another, and if they say they haven't, they are lying or potentially believing in a watered down, more palatable version of Christianity.

Either way, let's face it, the world is designed by the devil to make you doubt. The good news is that there is no question or doubt or critique that is going to make God start shaking in Their boots, realizing They hadn't thought of that. They are omnipotent, and anything you are wondering can most likely be found in the Bible, if you know where and how to look.

There are many books that explain the logic of Christianity, such as “Person of Intrest” by J. Warner Wallace or “The Case for A Creator” by Lee Strobel, who has also written many other books similar to this. Fair warning, it’s been forever since I’ve looked into either of these books, so there’s a chance there’s questionable stuff in there that I don’t remember.

However, I do need to say that faith is very much NOT a logical thing. It’s a belief in something that you cannot see, touch, hear, or otherwise sense except with your soul. It's the trust that God is out there, even when you lack concrete evidence.

I believe a person cannot become a believer by force, whether their own or someone else's. You have to truly open up your heart and let the Holy Spirit in. You must confess with your mouth that you believe in the Son of God who died and rose again, that you are a sinner, and that you need forgiveness and guidance.

I'm not pulling this out of my ass, there are a bunch of verses on how faith is not based in the logic of this world. Here are a few.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭2‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

For we live by faith, not by sight.

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There's a story I heard when I was a kid about a pastor being asked if he can hear God speaking to him in his prayers, and the pastor responded "no, I can't hear Him, it's much clearer than that". Faith is something practically unexplainable in earthly concepts or words. But it is solid, even it doesn't feel like it.

Hebrews chapter 11 is all about faith and what people have done by it, and I encourage you to read it, but I'd like to specifically call attention to Hebrews 11:1, which says,

Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.

This is the verse often pointed to when people discuss the biblical definition of faith, and it's the best I can offer.

However, it sounds like science and reason is not the only thing you are struggling with. As for morality, how can we be Christians when Christianity was used to abuse, colonize, and murder innocent people all throughout history and even today?

I'm not going to use the bullshit excuse of "oh they just weren't real Christians" because that is unhelpful, defensive, and probably not even true. All Christians are sinners, and hatred, murder, and all of that other stuff are sins, so it is possible that many or all of those people were true believers.

The simple answer to this question is that sometimes you just have to accept that your people did bad things and swear do your best to stop it from happening again (without spending so much energy on it that you burn out). I have had a lot of practice at this since I'm also white.

In German elementary schools, when they teach the children about WW2, what they basically say is “hey, this is our history, you didn’t do it so you don’t have to feel guilt, but you do have a duty to never let it happen again”.

I think this sort of thinking should be taught to the descendants of all oppressive people. I will also add that we also need to check ourselves that no nasty thoughts have slipped their way in. Often, you can continue the hurt without realizing. But this doesn't mean that Christianity is secretly evil or that Christians are inherently going to abuse others or any of that.

At the end of the day, there's nothing I can truly say that will instantly make you believe.

Like I said, it's not something I can force nor is it something you can logic your way into. No amount of evidence, even if it's the most rock-solid thing in all of the universe, can make someone have faith.

I hope there is something in here that can help you in some way, anon, and I pray God blesses you and keeps you safe.

[kiiwiigii]

Cramps

Alec x Fem!Reader

Summary: The cramps are so bad you think you're pretty sure you're about to die. Alec assured you that you're not, and does his best to comfort you.

Warnings:

None, except that periods suck.

Word Count: 600+

Requested?: Yes! I hope you're feeling better, nonny!

A/N: Turns out im cramping like mf today. 😭 I hope y'all enjoy!

I was certain I was going to die. The cramps today were fucking awful, and I found I couldn't move more than an inch or two. I refused to move, tired and crabby from the pain. To top it off my heating pad was broken, and I was out of Midol. The day was starting off great. 

My door banged open, and I jumped, hissing in pain and then doubling over from the sudden movement. My poor heart. My poor sides. My poor everything. I could already feel the tears of annoyance and frustration welling up. 

"Why do I smell blood, love?" 

Alec was by my side in an instant, checking me over before pausing, nose flaring. 

"Oh. Oh, amore. I am sorry." He said softly. "I just smelled blood and panicked. Are you ok? Never mind, that was a dumb question." 

He fluffed up my pillows before helping me lean back onto them. 

"What can I do for you, amore?" He asked quietly, pushing my sweaty hair back away from my face. "I am afraid that I am rather useless in these situations. What do you need?" 

"You're not completely useless, Alec." I nuzzled into his cool hand. "I could really use a heating pad. And some Midol." 

"Have you eaten anything today?" 

I shook my head. 

"Give me a few minutes. I'll be back." 

He was back in less than twenty minutes. A large paper grocery bag in one hand, a steaming bowl of soup with grilled cheese in the other. 

"Here, tesero." 

He gave me a water bottle and put two pills in my hand. I took them obediently, already impatient for them to start working. By the time I was done, Alec already had the heating pad plugged in and warming up, slipping it underneath the covers for me to rearrange to my liking. Finally, when all of that was taken care of, he handed me the soup and grilled cheese. 

I smiled up at him softly as he leaned forward to place a cool kiss to my forehead. I sighed happily, leaning against him for a brief moment. 

"Do you have any duties today?" I asked. 

"None that cannot wait." 

"Then stay with me?" 

"Of course, amore." 

He was on the other side of the bed, snuggling up to my, placing his hand lightly over the covers where the heating pad lay, the weight helping the heat seep into my skin. I nibbled on my grilled cheese. To be honest I wasn’t all that hungry. 

“You should eat, Y/N.” 

“I know, but my stomach is a bit too upset.” 

“At least try to eat half for me, amore.” 

"Want me to put something on the tv?" He already had the remote in his sand. 

"Sure." I said tiredly. 

He pulled up The Vampire Diaries on Netflix, while I tried to eat as much as I could before setting the half-eaten food on my nightstand.  

"This is so inaccurate it is not even funny." He grinned at me. 

He let me get settled against him, leaning into his chest, my hands following suit. He put his arm up under the pillow I was using. 

"I think I would be alright using my power, just this once. Just until the medicine kicks in." 

I looked up at him surprised. Alec had never used his power on me before. He absolutely refused unless it was a serious situation in which I needed it. Which was never. But here he was, offering. I gave him a slow nod. 

"I would really appreciate that, Alec. I feel absolutely miserable." 

He looked at me, eyes searching my face before nodding. 

Slowly I could see the black mist pour from his hands, right over my torso, and I felt myself go numb. It would have been unnerving had it not been for the sweet relief that was no more pain. I could still see him watching me intently, gauging my reaction. I gave him another soft smile before nuzzling into his chest. I could feel the sleepiness beginning to overtake me. 

"Thank you, Alec." 

"Anything for you, mio cara." 

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[ghoularaki]

Erwin 'delulu' Smith: "we can use sex as a reward too"

Motherfucker what-

Erwin cannot possibly be this dumb 😭

Does he not realize that it's going to fuck with darling's head?? Like.. severely??

Is he so deep in living in delulu-ville that he just flat out doesn't realize what this could spell later??

Bc if I were in darlings shoes rn, I'd be TWEAKING the absolute fuck out

Y'all can't use something to break somebody and then use it as a reward Erwin... And I'm looking at you too Levi..

*insert the 'its like a reward' audio from tiktok*

Maybe.. maybe that's the plan.. fuck her up so bad she can't anticipate anything.

But in all seriousness I fucking love babys breath. I yap to my bestie about it every time a new chapter drops lol. Also.. The psychological warfare Erwin and Levi got going on in that house is fucking diabolical but im here for it.

AHAHAHA erwin is the king of delulu, but remember he's strategic, too. so yeah, A LOT of psychological warfare is going down. erwin wants you perfect, obedient but not a living corpse. he doesn't realize tho, that he can't have the best of both worlds when you are a literal independent human being outside of *his* wants.

in erwin's mind its not the same! miche did the bad thing not him, you should only associate pleasure with erwin. erwin has *never* hurt you sexually unlike those brutes like levi and miche. and no, the spanking doesn't count (in erwin's mind)

and omg, oh to be a fly on the wall to hear what you guys say eheheh. i'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!!