#im disappointed in everyone involved with it
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swamp-mirage · 2 years ago
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I just saw a trailer for Velma and I gotta say, capitalism is truly the end of innovation. The ONLY reason that show has the Scooby gang is because they're recognizable. Every character is completely different than their original. If they made the exact same show without changing anything except the characters it wouldn't change a single thing about it. The connection to Scooby Doo starts and ends with the characters and even then they changed everything about them but their name and basic designs. They're using popular characters to gain viewers while shitting all over the characters themselves. I'm just so tired of every popular piece of media being perverted and twisted just because of brand recognition. MAKE NEW CHARACTERS!!! YOU ALREADY BASICALLY DID JUST CHANGE THEIR NAME AND CLOTHES AND NO ONE WOULD EVEN KNOW THEYRE FROM SCOOBY DOO BECAUSE THEIR NAME AND CLOTHES ARE THE ONLY THING THEY KEPT!
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puhpandas · 2 months ago
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steel wool has the hugest opportunity in the world for a sb 2 like. vanny cassie plotline of her having been manipulated by mimic to be its new minion by framing Gregory during the elevator scene to cut off her one support system. gregory vanessa and freddy protags fleshing them out with dialogue as characters but also their motivations and what theyve been doing for years. have their long absence in games period but also in universe from helping the glamrocks/setting up mxes be explained by showcasing their fear and trauma by them just wanting to get away and they thought they were safe but they werent. have cassie be the reason they have to jump back into the fray and realize no matter what they do theyll have to kill mimic for good to be truly free even if they're afraid. plot of the game is Gregory trying to convince cassie he didnt do it and that shes being tricked and it takes all campaign to get through to her, probably after an intense dramatic climax. have Roxy be there by Cassies side to show how Freddy abandoning them at the Plex affected her and the 2 sides of the same coin the 2 of them have going on regarding sentience and their relationship with the characters they were designed to be with Freddy who got to be free and roxy who didnt. the actual vanny comes back as a big betrayal towards mimic after killing glitchtrap in hw2, either to become an antihero or to try and take over as mastermind. superstar duo reunite and names cleared. throughout the campaign Gregory finds out about ggy and its revealed in a room with documents about patient 46 and tapes where a final tape is found and Gregory speaks in it or is addressed by name. he grapples with it and not remembering it. btw setting is a modern day fallfest which is like amusement park size instead of small festival. boom peak game
#this is isnane wishful thinking but i think some of these could happen hopefully#like vanny cassie seems like such a clear direction for the story and the framed plotline with Gregory works with it so well#plus roxy being there and interacting with freddy could be a natural way to explain why 3 star fam didnt help them#and give more insight to their characters and motivations and their fear#i just feel like. if they portray 3 star as being afraid in and out and their absense isnt just an absence and#they could actually explain it and also enhance their characters at the same time#itd work so well#they were absent from the story and games for so long bc they tried their hardest to be#they were afraid and wanted to just be free and live normally and not face the mimic#so they just trapped it in a room with help from mxes#(the hw2 candy cadet story about not buying the family meal)#and then the mimic came back because they DIDNT kill it out of fear (everyone dying when they didnt by the meal)#and thats their arc is that their arc gives all the insight we could need about how sb affected them#and vanny and vanessas abuse and gregory and freddy and their family and how close they are but how afraid they are too#and that this game would be when theyre forced to confront the mimic after putting it off bc of fear#which is literslly the story the hw2 candy cadet stories tell basically#with cassie being the 'casualty'#but cassie gregorys bff being hurt and caught in the middle is what forces them to finally face their fear l#and kill the mimic#like. this makes so much sense. its such a clear direction and lines up with everyrhing#gives a genuine explanation for why cassies dad was so involved. its bc 3 star wasnt on purpose#has the foundation to flesh out everything we could possibly want to see about them#PLEASE ZTEEL WOOLLLL. PLEASE IM BEGGING. JUST SOMETHING SIMIALR TO THIS EVEN A LITTLE BUT#some things like roxy and freddy and ggy and the fallfest stuff might be wishful rhinking but like#the entire thing with 3 star and cassie and mimic is just so vivid and clear to me. it could so easily be the direction#but im so prepared for them to do something completely different and be lowkey disappointed#thoughts#theory#pre security breach 2#<-courtesy of dawko bc hes calling the idea of this game sb2. ill change it one day
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thanatika · 2 days ago
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low-coherency rambling in the tags
#the thing about IPL is that‚ at least as far as i see it‚ they've essentially been propagating and encouraging an auteur myth regarding him#which is nothing new or unique to them; i think that people (audiences) naturally want to ascribe some Great Man Theory to everything#it's hard to conceptualize the fact that almost anything that comes from a ''studio'' will be the product of collaboration#people naturally want to personify things and attach a human face to what they like#and studios (whether game or whatever else) will indulge this by generally seeming to pick one or maybe two people (often men)#to essentially be the main ''face'' or ''spokesperson'' for the product. it's branding.#and it has an effect even if people obviously are aware that someone isnt the ONLY person who's hands touch a work#i see it in the way people take this very personal parasocial tone in how they talk about the creators they like#which is just a subset of the problem of parasociality in general but in this case i mean how they basically put these people on a pedestal#because they seem them as singularly responsible for creating Thing They Liked because of the aforementioned spokesmanship#i've seen it in how people talk about (and talk to) j sawyer and chris avellone as if they're singularly responsible for fallout#anthony burch and borderlands 2. christian linke and arcane#robert kurvitz and disco elysium (but to be very clear im not saying that makes cutting him out of his own intellectual property acceptable#fucking i don't know.... jeff kaplan and overwatch lmao#and very much with dybowski and pathologic. like the kind of memes i saw people make about him and the personal way they'd refer to him#BUT that pretty much all stopped after 2021 or so at least in the fandom spaces i saw#because i suppose people realized that whether those rumors and allegations were true or not that they did not really know this person#no matter how much they liked ''his'' game. and that he might not be a good person at all.#which is good. i think people should take that kind of ambivalence by default instead of getting parasocially attached to anyone#especially to one lead figure out of an entire studio#and then winding up distraught and disappointed when it turns out their fave did something bad#like be distraught for victims sure. but don't tell yourself you understand this person because their fiction spoke to you#and you won't wind up feeling personally betrayed.#i'm rambling big time but basically i hope people start taking this view more#because among other things. putting these people on pedestals and singling them out as auteurs gives them social power#which allows some of them to engage in the awful behavior that leaves fans feeling betrayed in the first place#and i hope that studios and creators stop leaning into it too#if it really is true that dybowski is barely involved with the IP anymore then IPL should say that.#don't prop him up as the face just because he's the one everyone knows#maybe they think it'll get backlash if anyone but him is said to be writing the game because of how much they leaned into him as the auteur
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walking-loather · 13 days ago
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Oubgh I just went OFF at my ouma on text
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silhouettecrow · 8 months ago
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Luckily, they aren't taking any past videos off of YouTube, but moving forward, they are only posting episode 1 of each season of their shows and the rest will be on their service, so you have to pay for anything beyond the first episode of a season.
And I am personally a hardcore fan; I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2017, and I followed them to Watcher gladly and have been watching there on a regular basis (until recently, due to personal stuff, I had never missed an episode). That being said, I cannot follow them to a streaming service because I just can't justify paying $6 a month or $60 a year for videos I've been enjoying on an app that is free and accessible in a variety of ways (YouTube is obviously far from perfect, but it has so many accessible features that are crucial for so many people, including me, to enjoy videos). And I'm sure I'm not the only person in this specific boat.
I just wish they insteas offered YouTube memberships and talked more about/pushed more for the Patreon 'cos that would allow for continued accessibility on YouTube and for us, the audience, to have the choice to pay and how much to support their content. I wish them the best, but it feels like there is a near-unanimous opinion that this was a bad move
idk man i know times are hard but i can't help but feel that watcher putting all their eggs in the basket that is their own streaming service is a bad call. like sure i totally get wanting a platform where you have full control both creatively and financially but i feel they might be misjudging how much loyalty non-hardcore fans might have for what they're creating. in every internet fandom there's a subsection of people willing to pay with actual money to support the creators they enjoy, and that's what services like patreon are for. but to expect that casual viewers will sign up and pay a monthly fee to get access to just watcher content when a large portion of them were likely just watching the content because it was free and accessible on youtube assumes that someone who isn't a diehard fan won't just go "oh well" and find something else on youtube that IS still free? that seems like a miscalculation to me. the massive fanbases online content creators have may literally be only possible because the content is available to anyone-- it seems foolish to assume that every single one of those fans is going to stick around once you try to upsell them.
i hope this new venture goes well for the watcher crew. I really do. but i also know that a lot of brands and startups that bank on the loyalty they earned when their product was free or low cost and expect that to sustain them while they try to do something that historically has not gone well for the vast majority of businesses. at best, they'll have halved their fanbase by alienating those who can't or don't want to pay and made it much more difficult for remaining fans to create fandom products like memes or gifs that promote their shows on social media. at worst, they'll discover in the near future the independent streaming service model is unsustainable with only the fans they have left and by that point they'll have already deleted themselves from youtube and made it impossible to come back to the level of success they had before. any attempt to return to youtube will be an admission of a critical miscalculation and i doubt many remaining fans will tolerate the back and forth. they'll have crippled their credibility, relevancy, and fanbase loyalty over a very short period of time-- and i don't know if it would even be possible to come back and still be beloved after all that.
worst of all-- if the watcher streaming service crashes and burns after they've already removed all their content from youtube, all the watcher shows are essentially going to become lost media, only accessible via reuploaders willing to risk a copy strike or if you know someone who has a copy downloaded. given how genuinely good the watcher content is in the sea of lackluster youtube mush, that really seems like a damn shame.
i hope the watcher team sees how everyone is responding and decides to course correct before it's too late and get away with only the hit to their reputation that they've already taken by announcing this, instead of pushing forward on a path that might lose them everything instead. nothing i've said here is with any hate intended toward anyone involved or those who are excited about the new service, but this just seems like a really ill-advised decision to me.
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gamblersdoll · 6 months ago
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cw: semi cheating trope, cucking, doggy style, masturbation (m) spitting, katsuki being really mean in this one, slapping.
this felt dirty and wrong, izuku thought. the way he felt about you was greater than his past crush for ochaco, yet here he was. the obsessive and adoration he had for you was no match, but here he was.
here he was pressing down on katsuki’s head as he went down on izuku, him slightly gagging on his length and pushing away. “fuck– you getting too rough, deku.” he spits, glaring up at him. “calm down this time.”
he nods, eyes filled with lust and his judgement clouded. he didnt notice the two missed calls you had given him, nor the four missed messages. his fingers trail through katsuki’s head, yet his balls lurched when katsuki licked his lips.
“zuku, what are you—“ you say, opening the door and looking at your phone. until your eyes meet the two, katsuki on his knees while izuku sits on his bed, manspreading.
both of their hearts thump, a cold nervous sweat on both of their faces and hands as you just stand there, bewildered. your heart clenches, feeling sadness, but more of disappointment and rage filling your veins.
“baby—“ izuku starts, but gets cut off by you.
“nah nah, fuck you!” you shout, turning around and slamming the door. it had to be about nine in the evening, so everyone was already downstairs chilling out.
it took you about a month or two to settle your nerves, feeling rage and betrayal from him just getting his dick sucked from his childhood friend.
a friend who also just so happen to be friends with you, surprisingly. thats what threw you off, katsuki just so suddenly became friends with you and wasn’t completely an ass to you. you at first thought nothing of it, but now it made sense.
your mind stops thinking, your ears and eyes being drawn to the message ping on your phone. izuku had texted, asking to meet in his dorm to talk.
should you even fucking bother? maybe. let hear what this bitch had to say.
“so— first i want to say im so sorry.” he starts, hands on his bouncing knees and eyes darting around. he picked at his nails, katsuki having to pull his hands apart. that only added salt to the wound, because what the fuck was he doing here?
“and why does bakugou have to be here for this?” you ask, growing impatient and tapping your foot. he looks up to your eyes, the glare you gave was mean, hurting his heart.
the “because he has involvement with this— its not what you think!” he quickly says, hands up in defense and looking to you and katsuki.
“so..”
“uhum–“ he tried, swallowing thickly and takes a deep breath. “so.. you remember when i told you i was bi, right? before we got together?” he starts, knee bouncing faster harder. you nod, eyes raised in a “yeah, no shit.” look. “well.. kacchan and i had been talking since we made up, and we started to like you as well.”
youre feet stop tapping, heart stopping and you start a glare. “hold on! and we started to like you and it kinda separated us for a couple weeks, thats when me and you were first dating and we had that big fight that you had to separate.” he rambles, katsuki flicking him to stay on topic.
“and uh, me and kacchan made up again after you both became friends and we wanted to ask you in person if you could give a threeway a shot!”
you just stare, looking at the both of them and watching katsuki just lean back. that made your blood boil, the way hes just acting all casual.
katsuki notices, manspreading himself and staring right back at you. “if you got something to say, say it.” he states, testing to see who and what you were.
you say nothing, biting your tongue and looking back to the green haired boy. “that’s absolutely bullshit and you know it.” you say, finding that shit unbelievable and quite frankly, offensive. “you mean to tell me that you both were fucking on the down low and then i just peaked both of your interest, you got together with me and all of a sudden you want a three way?”
“aint that what he just said?” katsuki finally speaks and chimes in, eyebrow raised.
you feel like a snapping point, like your ready to reach across and slap the fuck out of him for even speaking to you at all. “you can shut the fuck up, baku—“
at that point, he had heard enough between you and izuku. he reaches out, grabbing you by your throat and giving a slight choke. your thighs quiver, it being an instant trigger for you to become a mess.
“kacc—!”
“nah, you took too long with your fuckin’ delivery.” he says, hand groping a breast and leading you to the bed. “youre the one who told me this the shit she likes, so i’m fuckin’ her.”
and if those words werent a trigger for you, it was for izuku. his cock grows hard, his shorts becoming a restriction to his length and he groans.
katsuki’s lips crash onto yours, him effortlessly taking a hand and freeing himself from his boxers and tapping it against your skin. “you want it, dont you?” he teases, ripping the shorts off of your skin and rubbing circles into your clit.
his hand pries open your mouth, his eyes lowering. “open.” he says, curling his lips and spitting into your wet cavern. he looks over to izuku, izuku already freeing himself and spitting on his own length. “you see that there?” he points, whispering in your ear.
“thats what he does when he thinks about me fucking you like some common whore.” he reveals, chuckling in your ear. “he been waitin’ for this, to see me fuck you relentless and he watch.” he says again, slapping your clit and pinching it.
“zuku—“ your voice tries, sounding hoarse and katsuki focusing on your face now. he lands a somewhat hard slap to it, forcing you to look only at him.
“dont look at him, why are you looking at him? whos about to fuck you?” katsuki presses, fingers digging their way into your walls. “huh? whos about to fuck this pussy hm?”
you stutter, the intrusion being too much and you claw at his skin. “katsuki! shit—“
“yeah, thats right. im the one fucking you, not him. he assures, fingers finished from curling inside onto your gspot and forcing themselves into your mouth. “you dont get to cum, yet, either.”
you suckle on his fingers, eyes rolling back from the sheer force of his demands and tossing. he flips you over, face in the mattress and him grabbing you by your hips. shit, could you do this? doggy you cant even handle with izuku.
you try to look up, only catching a glimpse of izuku fisting his cock and his face flushed.
you squeal, feeling the heat from katsuki’s tip slip inside of your walls and hitting that spot already. the spot that hadnt been touched in however long you and izuku hadnt talked. “fuck, i can see what you mean by her being a tight space.” katsuki groans, hand gripping a hip and shoulder blade.
he starts immediately thrusting at such a violent place, but you knew he was going to be like that. “some fucking girlfriend you fuckin’ had!” katsuki laughs, his hips snapping into yours and balls slapping at your clit. “just some fucking whore that needed a good dick!”
you moan into the mattress, drooling against it and eyes rolling harder to your skull. you clawed at the sheets, hearing izuku lose himself in his fist as he watched his fuck buddy, his childhood best friend fuck his pretty girlfriend.
you choke, his cock angled at a different spot that had never been used or touched. “oh shit, you havent fucked her this way either, huh?” he grins, his hips angling themselves better and he spits onto the curve of your back. “yeah? he doesnt fuck you good like i do, huh?” he asks, a harsh slap to your ass.
“no— no no fuck!” you moan, going stupid from the intrusion, the sheer force of his hips alone making you go dumb. your tummy clenched, feeling your clit throb more than anything until it hurt.
“fuck, shes about to cum, deku.” he growls in a praise, his palms pressing down on your lower back as he slams his bodyweight into the thrusts.
you squeal, that coil tightening and hearing izuku lose himself in his own orgasm at the same time. you had missed hearing him cum, you both usually always have a simultaneous orgasm together at the same time.
“cum in her— breed her pussy please, kacchan.” he pleads, his hand shines with his seed and sweat that came from fucking his cock.
katsuki loses himself in a matter of time, approximately two minutes after you both had came and it was all because of how good you felt and that izuku just wanted to watch you get fucked by his childhood friend. his own rival.
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stormythalamus · 2 months ago
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agatha finale rant
so I’ve been seeing a lot of people complaining about the finale of Agatha and I wanted to give my two cents on their main points: 
1. “they used agatha’s show as a way to promote a man!!” well yes! that’s how marvel tv works im afraid. or any tv, really. wandavision was used to introduce agatha and monica, which led to their projects in the mcu (aaa, marvels). agatha introduced billy, leading to his future in visionquest or his solo series, which will introduce tommy and vision, which will lead to children’s crusade to reintroduce wanda. this is common for any tv show, but especially a big, connected franchise like marvel. i find it so concerning that even after all the promotion that showed us billy and agatha as co-leads, people were STILL shocked when the finale sets up a future story centered around him. like i hate to break it to yall but marvel wants money. and more shows means more money.
2. “they killed off a lesbian woman and not the gay man!” first of all, in the comics, agatha is a spirit guide for the scarlet witch. this form is her most comic accurate yet. also, did yall really think that was an unfair ending? or an ending PERIOD? all her death made me think of was the possibilities for the future with both billy AND rio. and again; rio was promoted as the ‘antagonist’ to agatha since the beginning. i don’t know how people went into this excepting a happily ever after for these two. they were always depicted as tragic lovers, and i honestly think the kiss of death was beautiful and poetic. i also don’t think this is the last we’re seeing of rio. and, as a side note, homophobia is still not okay! it doesn’t matter if you’re also gay; lesbians can be homophobic towards gay men, and gay men can be lesbophobic towards lesbians. and i’ve seen wayyyy too much of both in this fanbase. you can criticize characters and critique actors without bringing up their sexuality. we have enough incel homophobes doing that for us
3. if you’re still complaining about wanda not coming back i have no hope for you
4. this show, since day ZERO, was promoted as a show with billy and agatha as coleads. while i wish we had more backstory for how agatha and rio met, the salem flashbacks involving nicholas, the road scheme, and the song were much more important to the show. the parallels between nicky and billy were explored throughout the season a lot more than agatha and rios story (whether or not you like it, it’s still true (i personally wish we had a bit more on how they met 😭))
5. sending hate to actors about things their characters did is STILL not okay! and never will be!
6. this might be a hot take but if you’re only watching a show for a ship and don’t care about the story at all your opinion is irrelevant to me. like people who started watching after it was revealed in the show that agatha and rio were lovers (because, correct me if i’m wrong, this was never revealed before the episodes dropped) have no right to be upset when the show focuses on other things. and this is coming from a MASSIVE fan of agathario. and a lesbian. i loved the fact that i was watching characters who just happened to be lesbians have their own story. yes, i wish there was more agathario in the flashbacks. but i’m really not upset at all by what we got. and don’t get me wrong, people have every right to be disappointed, but they don’t have the right to hate on the creators and actors of the show. that’s not cool.
this is way longer than i thought it was gonna be 😭😭 hope everyone enjoyed the finale
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ddarker-dreams · 7 months ago
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BRILLIANT fucking idea: SR reader insinuating/offhandedly admitting… she has never been intimate. everyone hearing it like 🧍🏾‍♀️ how do you mean. idk j the flustered bashfulness of suddenly being like “wajt wait if im her bf ,,, im her first love”
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SCREAMINGGGGG
[Scarlet Ribbons index]
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Giorno
Giorno is a bit strange because he almost wishes he had a predecessor to analyze (and completely outshine). He isn’t disappointed per se, he’s not that weird, but having more study material never hurts. Positive relationships are foreign to him, since he’s been distant from others most of his life. He got along with people well enough — he just preferred his own company. Now that he’s had a taste of your company, he’s keen on making it a lifelong occurrence. Overhearing this admission has him wondering if traditional courting methods don’t do much for you. Or, more realistically, that they go over your pretty head. He's witnessed you interpreting the gang's flirtations as platonic. Consequently, he gives considerable thought to ensuring this isn't a fate that befalls him. Corny as it sounds, his new dream is to stand beside you as your husband. He's chasing this goal without abandon.
Bruno
Bruno feels immensely guilty for eavesdropping on a conversation involving something so personal, but he couldn't help himself. An immense weight feels like it's been lifted from his shoulders upon learning you haven't gotten romantically involved with anyone before. This relief is followed up with sharp self-condemnation �� as your leader, he shouldn't get involved with your personal affairs. Maintaining any professional distance is difficult though, especially when you're so likable. People are naturally drawn to you and he's no different. That's why this revelation comes as a surprise, albeit a good one. He tells himself he'd be happy for you if you loved someone else... however, deep down, he knows the regret would eat him alive. He struggles to concentrate the rest of the day. His mind keeps wandering back to thoughts of you, specifically, finding solace in one another’s warmth. The most innocent thoughts make his heart flutter, the man is smitten.
Fugo
Fugo almost renounces his atheism — perhaps there is a God after all. Then he's reminded that you're completely out of his league, submersing him back into the Nietzsche headspace. His self-esteem isn't the best, so the way he looks at it is if no one else was good enough to catch your attention, what chance did he have? It's a miracle you even put him with him. He's blunt, stubborn, and easy to agitate, yet you're one of the few people alive who don't treat him like a ticking time bomb. When his initial pessimism dies down, he fantasizes about you getting flustered by things like a first kiss. It's a cute mental image. Would you fidget? Accidentally bump heads and apologize? Get sweaty palms? Before he knows it, he's invented an entire storyline in his head. It's mushy enough that he struggles to look you in the eye the next time he sees you.
Mista
Mista pretends he knew it all along, as if the Pistols hadn't kept him awake multiple nights, speculating over your relationship status. The little fellas held full-blown debates. Since he's a chill, go-with-the-flow type of guy, he wouldn't have turned green with envy had he learned you former lovers. If they brought you happiness, who is he to hold it against them? Regardless, he can't deny his budding excitement. Should you reciprocate his feelings, you'll experience all your firsts with him. Those initial milestones are the moments that stick with people throughout their life. It's your first kiss in particular that he'd like to have for himself. He intends to sweep you off your feet — literally. It's got to be like those old Hollywood flicks he grew up watching, or what's the point?
Narancia
Narancia has to stop himself from audibly cheering. The multiple abandonments he underwent in the past has him latching onto the few people remaining in his life. This includes you, naturally. You've brought him so much joy, the risk of losing that, losing you, it's a fear that eats away at him. He worries that if you had exes, you might compare him to them and determine he's subpar. Then he'd be cast aside like trash as he had been multiple times before. These insecurities nourish his possessive tendencies. Learning that he has no exes to fend off is a great relief because he would've defended you viciously. It isn't until later that he daydreams over the more innocent implications, like being your first (and only!) boyfriend. He gets so preoccupied by the thought that he walks into a few walls.
Abbacchio
He's actually surprised to learn about this. He considers using Moody Blues so he can hear the entire conversation, but decides against it, believing it to be an intrusion of your privacy. Abbacchio's of the opinion that to maximize your happiness, you should find love outside of Passione. He wants that for you, and yet... his heart physically aches whenever the possibility crosses his mind. What's the alternative, then? Would he make for a suitable partner? He finds the mere possibility laughable. Your brightness would be engulfed by the gaping maw that is his existence. He considers this an empirical truth, not some 'woe is me' sentiment. Ultimately, anytime your love life (or lack of one) is brought up, he distracts himself, so as not to fixate on his shortcomings.
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cjlouwho · 6 months ago
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I made a little bucktommy fic based off of this post from yesterday (read here or on ao3)
Husbands
There had been a big fire, taking out the top eight floors of a high rise. There were multiple stations involved, including the 118 and Harbor, ground and air support, to get the fire under control and everyone out safely.
It took more than a few hours, but eventually the fire was out and everyone was getting their gear in order to head back to their respective stations.
As Buck organized the tools in the truck, a small group of friends, two guys and two girls, in their mid-twenties Buck assumed, gathered around him.
It had started with little comments; a guy asked what the axe was used for, a girl batted her eyelashes as she touched his turnouts because she “always wondered what the material felt like”, another girl asked how much water could be stored in the truck.
Buck liked talking. He liked answering questions and telling people what he did. He leaned against the firetruck as they chatted, until about five minutes in one of the guys sighed and got to the point. “We're honestly just wondering if one of us could get your number? Or all of us. Doesn't really matter.”
Buck paused. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy getting hit on. He enjoyed it quite a bit, actually. It was always nice to know when someone found you attractive.
Getting hit on was fun. Getting people's numbers was fun. But, there was something else that was even funner now. He'd been able to do it for exactly three months, to the day. Not that he wasn't flashing his ring beforehand, but something about being married sounded even better than being engaged.
“Sorry, guys,” Buck said, smiling as he lifted his left hand into view, “Im flattered, but I'm married.”
As some disappointed, and some still interested, looks broke out over the group, a familiar voice sounded behind Buck. “Damn, I was just about to shoot my shot.”
A blush rose on Buck's face as Tommy passed by. He was working ground ops today, and Buck knew he was around, but this was the first he'd seen of him. “Yeah, you wish, Kinard,” he called back, causing Tommy to turn back around to him.
He shrugged, smirking. “A guy can dream, can't he?” he asked with a wink, continuing backwards toward his truck.
It was only once Tommy was out of view that Buck realized the group was still there, staring between Buck and the direction Tommy went with confusion on their faces.
“Oh, uh, that- that's my husband.”
His smile grew as he watched the realization hit the group. They didn't stand a chance.
“Forget it,” one girl mumbled as they all started to disperse.
“They're both so hot, what the hell?” one guy whispered, albeit loudly, to his friend.
“And unbelievably corny,” the friend said back, not even trying to be quiet. “Makes me wanna gag.”
Buck rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he pushed himself up from where he was leaning on the firetruck. He began walking in the direction Tommy had gone, needing to see him before his station left.
“Get any numbers, hot stuff?” Tommy's voice made Buck jump. He was situated between two trucks and, from the looks of it, had just finished pouring a bottle of water over his head to clean himself off.
Buck's shoulders relaxed as he walked over to Tommy. “No, I did not,” he said cheekily. “You wanna know why?”
“Hmm?”
“Because my husband interrupted. He didn't say it, but I got the feeling he wants to keep me to himself.”
“The nerve of that guy.” Tommy moved closer to Buck, his hands coming up to grip onto the sides of Buck's turnouts. “Can't say I blame him though.” He spoke quietly, staring between Buck's eyes and lips, “He does have a really hot husband.”
Buck put his hand at the nape of Tommy's neck, closing the space between them as he pulled him in for a kiss. He had no concern for the fact he was getting soot right back on Tommy's clean face. Payback.
“Can you bring your turnouts home?” Buck asked, leaning back just enough to speak.
Tommy laughed, his face scrunching up into that deep smile that made Buck melt. “This really does something for you, doesn't it?”
“Every damn time.”
Another kiss, this one slower and softer. A promise of what's to come when they're both off shift in a few hours. “I'll figure out a way.”
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princessbrunette · 11 months ago
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jj being so oblivious to how much he turns on reader and by the time they get back into her room at the end of the day she’s so needy for him and he’s like ???
-🐮
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jj had taken the lead on the little pogue mission you’d joined in on today.
you wasn’t sure if it was the leadership and casual dominance over everyone that was doing it for you, your boyfriend strutting about in that black t-shirt and backwards cap — confidently throwing out “just follow my lead, okay?” to the group, or “not to worry, papa j’s got it.” which made your thighs clench whilst everyone else’s eyes rolled.
or maybe it was the way he was courteous, making sure your safety and involvement in everything was his top priority— glancing over at you to gauge your reactions whenever something happened, taking your hand to help you on and off boats or steps, calling out a “‘scuse me, if you could just make way for muh’lady.” as he’d usher you through a crowd with his hands on your waist.
whatever it was, it had you in heat by the time you had hurried him into his designated room at the chateau, pawing at him with the door barely shut, catching him off guard when you’re grabbing at the neck of his shirt trying to pull him down to get his mouth on yours.
“uh— hello, hey— you okay? why are you trying to eat me?” he pants after you get a few confused pecks in, gently holding you back by the shoulders. you whimper, just from having his hands on you and lick your lips hungrily.
“jj, you’ve been killing me all day. please, i’m sorry i just need you, really bad!” it comes out whiny and in one breath, his brows jumping up as he takes in the surprising information.
“okay first of all, never be sorry for that— alright. second of all, why? what did i even — i feel like if anything i was kinda gross today i’ll be totally honest with you.” he rambles, glancing down at the way your hands twist in his shirt itching to touch him.
“you’re just… such a natural leader jayj. was tellin’ everyone what to do n’ looking after me and it just drove me insane. wanted it all day.” you sigh, pupils practically covering your iris.
“really? th—that was doing it for you? jesus well, okay— im flattered— you know i kinda feel like i’m having one of those crazy wet dreams that i wake up all disappointed and sticky from so like — this isn’t a dream right?” he reaches down and pinches your hip, making you yelp and slap his hand.
“ow, why are you pinching me if you’re the one dreaming, jj?”
“thats a good point actually uh—”
“can you stop pinching me and start fucking me, please?” you mewl, drawing closer, practically breathing into his mouth and he frantically nods, dropping a kiss to your lips before pointing to the bed.
“yep, can do— get your skirt off. panties too.” he commands you, briskly making his way to the door to close it properly and lock it, making his way over to you to help you pull your underwear down your legs. “mm, that’s what i like to see. papa’s gotta eat.” he spreads your legs, shuffling around to be face to face with your cunt, dropping kisses to your inner thighs.
“been waitin’ for this all day!” you slur, already arching off the bed trying to get his mouth on you.
“yeah? well that means you’ve been a very patient, good girl…” he presses a sloppy kiss directly to your clit making your breath hitch, his thumbs sliding up either side of your puffy folds to spread them. “if only there was a way,” he spits on your clit and you jolt, the glob running down the entirety of your heat. “for me to reward you for that.” he grins up at you with wet lips before diving in, reminding you why you love his tongue so much.
🍰♡₊˚ 🩰・₊✧
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httpiastri · 6 months ago
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PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER FOUR (MONACO)
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genre: fluff, angst, etc.
warnings: heartbreak as usual
word count: 5.3k (like, exactly 5.3k. on the word. 😭)
author's note: it feels so wrong to say that im posting this to celebrate ollie's graduation to f1 because... this is such a sad chapter.... pain pain pain for everyone involved (especially ollie) 💔 but yay happy ollie f1 announcement day!!! hope you're all doing well & hope you enjoy <3 (also i wrote a lot of this chapter back in february? and proofreading it today nearly brought me to tears bcs of ollie-)
series masterlist
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the career of a racing driver is a roller coaster for everyone involved.
if your name is max verstappen, then you've got more ups than most others. that roller coaster seems pretty fun.
but if your name is y/n harper, then your roller coaster isn't as fun these days. but if there’s ever a place to turn things around, it's monaco.
even just the track walk is enough to bring up your mood after a bad week like last. walking along the monegasque streets, almost getting hit by cars as you sign autographs and take pictures with fans... it's an experience you just can't find anywhere else.
coincidentally enough, ollie is done with the track walk just as you are, which means that the two of you can make your way back to the f2 paddock together. your boyfriend has always loved monaco – he pretty much doesn't ever shut up about the track and it's history unless you tape his mouth shut when you're in the country. that's why it's surprising that he not only brings up another subject, but also that he chooses a quite sensitive one – your father.
"he's going to be here this weekend, right?" ollie asks, stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. he seemingly doesn't quite understand just how tense things are with your dad yet. to be fair, it isn't really his fault, since you haven't told him and since he isn't a mind-reader. but still, something in your chest tightens at the way ollie brings him up so casually.
you nod. "you know how much he adores monaco," you say with a sigh, before putting on your best impression of your dad. "the most iconic track ever, the only track to ever... blah blah blah."
having your dad along for races was always a given when you were younger. he was your best helmet carrier, your number-one supporter, and the first person you went to when celebrating or complaining.
but somewhere along the years, having him around started to become more problematic and anxiety-inducing. his support turned into criticism, and it became far more common for him to tell you to "go apologize to the engineers and ask them what you should do to perform better tomorrow" rather than give you any constructive feedback of his own.
at first, it was rough; the man who had always been your pillar to lean on, your main source of support, your safe haven, was seemingly gone. you continued to perform well, though you weren't sure if that was because you wanted to make him proud or if you were terrified of making him disappointed.
"let's have dinner with him someday, then," ollie suggests as the two of you come to a stop right outside the prema garage for the weekend. "maybe sunday, if we have things to celebrate?"
"let's hope so."
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pepe calls your name once, twice, thrice, before he resorts to shaking your shoulder gently. his touch, along with the sound of the spaniard's raspy laughter, makes you finally wake from your slumber. you blink up at him, eyes droopy and mind empty. "what?"
"why are you sleeping?" pepe asks, shaking his head. "quali starts in... about an hour."
you begin to slowly push yourself up from the couch you've been lying on, yawning loudly. "i was supposed to just rest my eyes," you start, rubbing your eyes with your hands. "i didn't mean to fall asleep..."
"did you not sleep well last night? were you up late again?" pepe asks as he sits down next to you, watching you stretch your arms over your head with yet another yawn.
what are you supposed to say? yes, i was up until four am because i couldn't find any peace of mind at all? i've been dreading every second of this weekend because i never know when my dad will appear from around the corner? i'm scared he's going to be so mad over my performances that he disowns me?
pepe may know a lot of what's going on with your father, but he doesn't need to know this much.
you did, in fact, meet him earlier today, right before practice – if greeting him briefly and then instantly bolting in the opposite direction counts as a "meeting" – but since then, he's been nowhere to be seen. not even around dino or ollie when you last saw the two of them.
pepe takes your silence as an answer in itself, and he lets out a hum. "well, i'm quite nervous myself," he says frankly, pulling a hand through his hair.
"you did so well here last year, though." you nudge his shoulder with yours. "you'll be great again, i'm sure of it."
"dinner with the prince on sunday? both of us?"
you nod, shooting your friend a smile. "of course." but despite how much you wish it would become a reality, there's not even the slightest trace of faith in you. the only thing you can think about is how likely it is for this round to go in the same footsteps as your recent ones.
a great attitude to bring into a race weekend.
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p9.
a top ten placement, sure. second in the reverse grid, sure. but other than that, there's not much positive in it. it's a step in the right direction, but in some way, it feels like a step that's way too short.
the sprint race starts with an incident right by you on the track, which is extremely unlucky for you since you get pretty much blocked and have nowhere to go. after being passed by several cars, the safety car finally comes out, and you find yourself in p7.
of course your father's words echo in your head all the way through the safety car period. "starting p2 means a free podium," he had told you when he stopped by right before you were getting into your car. "don't mess it up."
you're so focused on that expression on his face, the way he tilted his chin up and his head slightly to the side as he spoke, and the way it felt like your heart stopped beating for a few seconds, that you don't even realize that your engineer has told you about the safety car being about to end. you don't even acknowledge the fact that the race leader has taken off, nor that the rest of the field starts pushing again before it's too late.
some blue car tries to overtake you on the outside, and with another car on your inside you have no chance of giving either of them space – and you manage to crash into them both. not only did you ruin your own race, but also two other drivers'.
and of course, one of the cars buried into the wall next to yours is a silver hitech with a big number 17 on it.
climbing out of your car, you can hear several voices calling out for all three of you from the grandstand nearby, and you consider throwing them a wave as you climb through the metal fence to get off the track. but then, you hear one voice that's more familiar – one that belongs to the last person you want to talk to right now. "are you alright?"
you almost don't look at him, but the little glance you shoot him is enough to take in every single bit of disappointment in his eyes. what are the odds that your dad was sitting in the grandstand right where you crashed?
a nod is enough of an answer you reckon, pulling your helmet off your head and beginning to walk the way towards the paddock again. "do you want me to carry that?" your dad asks, having gotten past the security guards after showing his pass, now jogging to catch up with you.
"i'm not ten anymore," you groan. "i can handle it on my own."
"i wasn't saying you can't-" he cuts himself off, placing a hand on your shoulder. "you looked really out of it out there."
you keep your gaze forwards so he won't see you rolling your eyes at his words, determined steps carrying you forward quickly as you shake his hand off. "oh, you could see through my visor? that's cool."
"what's gotten into you lately?" your dad pushes, and you flinch slightly at the harsh tone in his voice. "what's wrong with you?"
"what do you mean?"
"well, frankly, your driving had been shit recently." your eyes snap to him when he speaks, eyebrows furrowed. "it looks like you're not even trying."
you stay silent for a long while, trying to navigate your way back – and to a place where your dad hopefully won't be allowed – but you can't help but scoff. "thank's a lot."
"what? am i wrong?"
"yes, you're wrong!" you finally stop in your tracks, fully facing him by now. a hand goes up to your hair, pulling on it to relieve at least some tension. "i'm trying my best, i-"
"is there something going wrong with ollie?" your jaw drops. "i'll talk to him, i'll settle it with him."
"don't you dare!" you exclaim. "there's nothing wrong with ollie, okay?!"
"then what is wrong with you? why can't you score ten points in nine races?"
that's it – you're going to completely lose it if this goes on for even one more second. "leave me the fuck alone," you tell him, turning your head away so he won't get a chance to see the tears beginning to form in your eyes.
the worst part of it all? the fact that you agree with him. the fact that you can't even argue against it; nine points in five rounds is not a good result at all.
surprisingly enough, he doesn't follow you when you hurry away, allowing you to get to the paddock alone. the silence doesn't mean you can hold back from crying, however; it doesn't take long before your cheeks are stained with your tears, your breaths growing quicker and quicker for every step you take. navigating the paddock with blurry vision is hard, and you're basically just relying on muscle memory to take you back to the right part of the garage. just as you're rounding a corner, you bump into someone – someone whose white suit and broad, muscular shoulders are easy to recognize even through your tears.
the other last person you want to talk to right now.
"hey there," he says, a hand coming up to your shoulder to keep you steady as you stumble a little upon the impact with his chest. "are you- woah, are you crying?"
"leave me alone, paul."
he lets out a little chuckle, one he regrets in hindsight because it makes him sound like he thinks the state you're in is funny. "i can't just walk away when you're this upset, can i?" he asks, having to use all of his willpower to hold back from wiping away a few tears from your cheeks. "is it about the crash? i'm not mad at you, and i don't think victor is either-"
"i couldn't care less about the stupid crash!" you explode, a few sobs following your words. "i'm just- i can't-"
paul's eyes widen in surprise at your outburst, hand on your shoulder slipping further along so he's got his arm draped across your shoulders and it's easier for him to force you to walk with him. now it's your turn to have to hold back, wanting nothing more than to lean into his chest and just let out all of your tears. he pushes you with him into the hitech truck, looking around the lounge area to make sure no one's there before guiding you to sit on one of the sofas there. "what's going on? did something happen?"
"i'm a bad driver, that's what happened." paul slumps into the seat right next to you, eyebrows raised when he hears you speak. "i don't belong here, i don't know what i'm doing, i-"
"hey hey hey," he cuts you off with a shake of his head. "what have we said about this?"
you look down at the floor, wiping away a few tears from your cheek as you continue to sniffle in the silence that fills the area. a burning feeling spreads through your chest at his words, the familiarity of it all making your head spin. it isn't the first time you've been like this in front of him; through the almost entire year you dated, there were quite a few times when he'd have to console you after a breakdown. paul knows your issues like the back of his hand, he knows how hard it can be to convince you that you do belong. but he also knows to never give up.
"you are a great driver," he starts, hesitating for a moment before letting his hand rub your shoulder. the action makes your breath hitch in your throat, but not because it's wrong – it's because you've missed his touch, probably far more than you've admitted to yourself before now.
"even my lousy dad thinks i'm bad," you finally get out in-between sniffles, resting your face in your hands.
"and since when do you care about his opinion, huh?"
he's right. at least partially. but still, you remain hunched over, shaking your head. "i may act like it doesn't matter, but… him calling me all kinds of things…" paul allows you to gather your thoughts, his touch remaining gentle over your racing suit. "it hurt. a lot."
he hums understandingly, letting out a sigh. "when is that stupid little brain of yours going to understand that you're doing well?" his words should bring a smile to your lips – a few months ago, they would've. but now, you don't react at all. "no matter what he says, no matter what the critics say. you're a good driver."
after another few moments of silence, you drop your hands to your lap and look at him. there's a hint of curiousity in his eyes, surprised by your sudden eye contact. "why do you even care?" you question. he's been acting like a complete idiot these past few months – and after you literally cursed him out in melbourne, you haven't spoken a word to each other. and yet, he's taking time out of his day to comfort you like he would a year ago.
"come on…" he presses his lips together in a firm line, shaking his head. "no matter what happens between us, i'll always look after you."
his words, and maybe especially your emotional reaction to them, take you by surprise. despite the anger and frustration you've built up over the last few months, there's an undeniable warmth in his gaze that softens your defenses. the feeling of nostalgia and longing is so strong it's almost painful, as if he has reminded you of a connection you thought had been lost forever.
it's quite strange, considering everything that's happened. but you're not opposed to it.
"how are you feeling after the crash?" paul asks to break the silence as you reach up to dry away the last of your tears from your cheeks. "that was a big impact you had. i got away lightly in comparison."
for the first time since the crash, you stop to actually think about it and allow yourself to feel through your body. the adrenaline from the race has worn off by now, and there's a throbbing in your head that seems to just grow stronger by the second. "i think… i'm alright…"
"do you want me to go get ollie for you? the race should be done by now," he says, checking the clock on the wall in the truck. "he can take you to go see a medic."
you shake your head instantly. "please, don't. for real."
paul shoots you a strange, confused look, though he gives you a slight nod. "okay, but you have to tell him," he says, pausing a second before continuing. "i know that head of yours, you're going to combust if you keep hiding this. you can't go through it alone."
"i promise."
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you don't end up going to the medical center.
you do, however, go find ollie yourself – but you don't tell him about your chat with paul. instead, you hope he doesn't take notice of the not-so-subtle signs that you've just had a complete meltdown.
it's easy to break promises to people who you don't need to stay truthful to, you realize. last year, you wouldn't even think about breaking a promise to paul – but an ex boyfriend is much easier to lie to.
your current boyfriend wraps his arms around you the second you step close enough. his lips press to the side of your head, his arms giving you another squeeze before pulling away.
ollie has gotten used to your red eyes.
he's gotten used to the sight of your tearstained cheeks, the slight pout on your lips, the heaviness in your sighs.
he's gotten used to the sinking feeling in his stomach, the pain in his chest, the guilt.
but he's also gotten used to not asking, because he knows you won't tell.
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when you wake up on feature race day, something is different. it's like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders after talking to paul; like the air is suddenly much easier to breathe, and the whole world seems a little lighter. you're much more excited for the feature race of the day than any race so far this season.
in today's race, it's ollie's time to crash out. it isn't his fault, though; he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and got squeezed up against the wall by a trident car. there was nothing he could do.
as soon as he's deemed free of injuries, he makes his way back to the prema garage, joining the team in watching the rest of the race. it's a good one for you; choosing to go with the opposite strategy has really worked out for you so far, with you and zak o'sullivan being the only two drivers in the top who haven't pitted yet.
ollie follows your car intently on the screen in the garage, secretly hoping for a safety car to come out and help you out with your strategy as it's nearing the last few laps. he almost doesn't pull out of his trance even when a hand lands on his shoulder. "she's doing great," dino says from behind him, the brit nodding along to his words. "especially considering... well, she must've told you about yesterday, so i won't repeat it to you."
yesterday?
ollie looks dumbfounded for a moment before he composes himself, though he has no idea what the swede is talking about. "of course."
dino lets out a chuckle, patting his friend's shoulder. "paul said she was a complete mess when he found her," he continues, not realizing he's giving ollie more clues to help figure out what in the world he's talking about. "her anxiety was all over the place, apparently. but she's recovering, she's strong. she won't let this affect her."
ollie hums agreeingly at his words, eyes still glued to the tv in front of him. "certainly," he finally gets out. "she'll get through it with ease."
and so you did – at least for this particular race.
the virtual safety car was incredibly lucky, but that's racing sometimes. with both you and zak changing your tyres in the last lap, you both managed to end up ahead of the rest of the field, and secure a podium each.
unlike in jeddah, seeing paul's car pull up right next to yours on parc ferme isn't all that bad. after yesterday's heart-to-heart with him, you feel like at least part of this podium is thanks to him. if it weren't for his encouragement, you likely would've stuck it in the wall again.
you don't ignore him this time. you don't scoff at his words, you don't feel frustrated at his mere presence. this time, you give him a tight hug when he comes over to congratulate you, arms around his shoulders forcing him close.
"thank you," you can't help but whisper, and paul is grinning from ear to ear when he pulls away from the hug.
"don't," he answers with a quick shake of his head. "you could always pull this off. you just needed a little reminder."
and not only do your shoulders and mind feel a bit lighter as you step onto that monaco podium, but most importantly, your heart.
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"i'm exhausted," you huff as you shrug your bag off your shoulders, leaving it by the door as ollie, too, makes his way into the hotel room. "thank god this weekend is finally over."
you dive onto his already-made bed, landing face-down between the pillows and blankets. the bed is huge, probably over two meters in width, and unbelievably soft. it's the first time you feel like you can truly relax since you got to monaco, and every single cell in your body thanks you for allowing them to rest a little.
"and i don't even have any sim sessions scheduled in over a week. i'm the luckiest person ever." ollie lets out a chuckle at this, his own bag crashing to the floor with a thud before his feet carry him deeper inside the room.
you turn your head and watch as he picks out a water bottle from the mini fridge, but he doesn't drink from it. instead, he makes his way to the bed, choosing to just stand next to it at first. you can't really read his expression, so you speak up – but he beats you to it. "ollie-"
"can we talk?"
you press your hands into the mattress, sitting up properly. "of course," you say, a look of unknowing dejection spreading across your features. "what's wrong?"
"that's... what i wanted to ask you, actually." ollie finally sits down on the bed, but on the opposite side of it, far from you. "what's going on? what happened yesterday?"
"oh, well..." you pause for a second, eyebrows rising as you try to find an explanation. "i just had a bad day, i didn't realize that the safety car-"
"i don't mean the race, i mean what happened after the race." his eyes are piercing into yours, not missing even the slightest movement of your face now. you've got his full attention. "with paul."
your breath hitches in your throat and you instantly look away. your voice is as low as a whisper when you speak again. "i can't believe he told you..."
"he didn't. it was someone else, but that's beside the point." you don't know if you should feel relieved that paul didn't tell ollie, or furious that he told someone else who then told ollie, but you don't have any time to think before his voice infiltrates your thoughts again. "i heard you were... i'm not going to use the same word he did, but i heard you were really upset. something about anxiety, or..."
he hopes you'll pick up where he trailed off, and despite how you're really not in the mood for this conversation right now, it feels unavoidable. "i guess... yesterday's race was really rough on me. and my racing has felt really bad recently, the anxiety has been through the roof, and..." your eyes land on your hands, watching as your fingers tremble slightly in your lap. "i don't know. something about yesterday just triggered it all again."
out of the corner of your eye, you can see ollie nodding understandingly. "how long have you been feeling like this?"
"since always, basically." a single teardrop rolls down your cheek before you even notice that you've started tearing up. you hurry to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. "my mom likes to tell this story about how i used to cry if i performed poorly when i was jumping rope in kindergarten. or about how one time, i came home sobbing over the fact that i thought i was getting kicked out of kindergarten because my drawings weren't as good as the other kids'." the old stories bring a soft smile to your lips, one that soon disappears when you shake your head and squeeze your eyes shut. "it's not usually this bad, but…"
you sigh.
"it's like... imposter syndrome. i'm one of the very few women in motorsports, and i can't help but think that i'm just here because the fia wants to make the sport more equal. or because my sponsors think it's funny to have a woman among the men. or if i'm just here as eye candy. i don't deserve this, i don't have enough talent."
your little rant makes him speechless – both because he didn't expect it at all, and because to him, you're so wrong.
"you're here because you do deserve it and because you consistently perform good results, unlike most other drivers. that has nothing to do with your gender." ollie pauses for a second. "if you didn't have enough talent, you wouldn't be performing this well in a series this hard."
you can't hold back the little smile that slips onto your lips. "this is all very sweet, and i really appreciate it. but it's not that easy for me to just accept what you're saying."
yet again, he nods. "i understand." his voice is so calm, so gentle, so patient. it makes your heart soften. "i'll make sure to remind you of it more often, so that maybe it sticks."
"thank you, ollie."
a long silence follows, and you take the time to brush away a few more tears that have left your eyes. you don't know what to say or how to follow up on this heavy subject, but you don't have to think much more.
"why did you go to paul instead of me?"
your eyes dart to him at the sudden question. he's sounded so composed and calm, but he actually looks quite... nervous? his fingers are fiddling with the lid of the water bottle in his hands, and his entire upper body looks like it's trembling slightly as he breathes. "i didn't," you tell him simply. it's not a lie, per se. "he just happened to walk in on me crying."
"but why did you tell him?" ollie questions, looking up at you from the bottle. "i thought you two weren't even talking these days? ever since that fight you had?"
he is right. you don't even know why you confided in him yourself – it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. you didn't even try to deny his help; you welcomed it (and him) with open arms.
"we talked about my struggles last year," you finally say, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. "so he knew already. and… i don't know, i guess it felt nice to talk to someone who really knows me."
"but i want to know you." he takes a deep breath before continuing. "i want to know more than your birthday and your favorite color. i want to know it all; what makes you feel good, what makes you anxious, what keeps you going, what slows you down..."
the physical distance between you two may only be a mere two meters, but you feel much more separated than that. you totally understand where he's coming from – he might be exaggerating a little, but your conversations with him are never really deep. though not sure whether it's because you just don't trust him or because you just have a hard time opening up, you can understand the despair he must be feeling.
when ollie notices that you aren't too keen on saying anything, he keeps going. "i want you to trust me. i want to be the person you tell these things to." he scoots closer to you on the bed, one of his hands landing on top of your knee. "i really want to make this work between us. my feelings for you are so strong, just..."
the pain in his eyes is so intense it sends a shiver down your spine, his gaze cutting through you like a knife. your own eyes begin to well up again, but you can't look away now.
"i really want you to give this, give me, a chance."
you've never seen him like this before. hopeless, desperate, practically begging. and in an instant, the guilt comes creeping back into you.
you're the one who's making him feel like this; it's all your fault. and how cruel wouldn't it be to not at least give him an honest chance?
"of course." your voice is weak and shaky, but you nod. "i want that, too. really."
ollie drops his water bottle to the floor before opening his arms wide for you. "come here."
it's easy to climb into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he holds you close. it's easy to lean into him, to inhale his sweet scent, and it's so easy to relax.
you wish it was as easy to open up to him. oh, how badly you wish it was as easy as a-b-c or do-re-mi. you really want to let him in; you, too, want this to work.
the silence that follows is a comfortable one. the air feels thick with unspoken emotions, a heaviness of the previous conversation still lingering, but there's an unspoken understanding between you and ollie. the previously well-known weight of the world on your shoulders seems to lift, if only momentarily; his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back is like a silent reassurance that he's there, he's present, and he's willing to wait for you to open up in your own time.
after what feels like an eternity, ollie breaks the silence. "let's do something. let's go on a vacation together."
you lean back slightly, just enough to look at his face but stay in his hold. "…what?"
your reaction isn't exactly what he had hoped for, but he goes on. "i'm going back to italy this week, you should come with me." he reaches up with a hand to your face, thumb softly massaging away the frown you hadn't even noticed had formed. "we'll travel around, go see the national parks, hike in the mountains... swim in the sea, eat at good italian restaurants..."
your features soften at his suggestions; it all does sound very sweet. still, you can't hold back from asking, "but why?"
"we have almost a month until the next race weekend, and you said that you don't have any sims this week. this could help take your mind off racing, and..." a sheepish smile appears on his face. "maybe it could make us get a little closer."
uncertainties and conflicting thoughts continue to cloud your heart, making the decision harder than it should be. on one hand, accepting the offer could offer a much-needed reprieve from all the pressures of the racing world. on the other hand, your unresolved feelings for paul still hold you back. spending a romantic holiday with ollie sounds like a dream, just as much as the mere thought of revealing yourself to him makes you nauseous from the fear.
but you want to be brave. and maybe to let go of paul, you need to just forget about your worries and dive head-first into ollie.
"it sounds perfect. let's do it."
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yourusername just posted!
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yourusername we're back baby!! leaving monaco with some good points. 🔜 barcelona and the team's home race, let's go 😁
show all 78 comments
user finally back on the podium! ❤️💙
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
user great drive today !!!
→ user it was just luck 😭 without the vsc she would've never gotten that podium
→ user okay and??
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
olliebearman what's up with the hair dinobeganovic_
→ yourusername it's called fashion
→ dinobeganovic_ it's called waking up at 5 for a feature race
→ user you're still gorgeous dino 😚
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
redbulljuniorteam 💪💙❤️
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
sebasmontoya58 pepe don't punch the girl, she did nothing wrong
→ yourusername i did nothing wrong!!!
→ pepemartiofficial tell him what you did
→ yourusername never
→ pepemartiofficial sebas check your whatsapp
→ yourusername YOU WOULDNT
→ pepemartiofficial i totally would
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theriverbeyond · 1 month ago
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arcane s2 act 2 THOUGHTS, overall I think this was a lot stronger than the first act --- at the end of the day arcane is a character and relationship (primarily sisterhood/brotherhood/parent-child/family) driven show above all else, with plot as a sort of loose secondary, so like, even though i DO have plot critiques they're feel a lot softer just because the arc was genuinely so enjoyable to watch on an emotional level. anyway #SPOILERS and critiques below. well more like one big excessively long critique but I spent ages typing it all up so here it is:
i think my big critique thus far is pacing and story planning. there is just... a lot going on, for a 9 episode show. like a LOT. like way too much. and I think this was obvious in the first arc, and better managed in this arc -- but that is largely because this arc wildly narrowed the focus. this arc totally left out Ekko and Hermidinger(i can never remember his name. the squirrel dude), the new enforcer squad were basically back to being background characters, and while Sevika, Jayce, Victor, Cait, Ambessa were all present/involved in plot, they all took a big backseat screentime-wise. This allowed the act to really focus in on Jinx & Vi, Jinx and Vi & Vander, and Jinx & Isha, which is of course where the arc really shines -- but it brings BIG concerns for act 3, where presumably we will be back to having a full plate of characters. So I expect the "too much going on" issue to be more obvious in act 3, which is disappointing because that's like, the finale.
following from the above, there's a lot of skipping around that feels very economical but also like.... WEIRD! like.... we are watching a highlight clipshow? or something? Salo gets told "hey check out this healer" -> next time we see him he is totally healed. WHAT? like sure i dont care about him as a character, but that just feels kinda.... like we are really squeezing in here huh!! and we go from seeing Victor heal one dude in act1 -> next time we see him he has set up a whole commune and is playing big jesus. WHAT???? we dont get to see anythijg in the middle?? what about Jinx and Isha reuniting after escaping Stillwater but before finding Vi??? etc etc etc? and sure those scenes would be not be necessary on a "the plot doesnt work without them" level, but these types of "TITLE CARD READS: 2 DAYS LATER, AFTER THE GANG SETTLES IN" situations are happening SO frequently in this season that it really seems like they have too much story to fit into the time they are given, and are now aggressively trimming anything they can so stuff will fit and still make sense.
Basically what I'm saying is the show feels like my twitter reads, where Im a verbose mf and have to aggressively abbreviate words and cut sentences and rambling when I tweet so it can fit the character limit. and sure I don't need all those extra characters and words to convey my full meaning but "economical with time" is not really the best compliment I could give a show. Like why do you have to be so economical. why are we pinching pennies seconds here instead of modifying the plot to improve the pacing.
shallow critique but the "Jinxers" all getting blue hair and pronouns and pink accents was weird. like..... Jinx has a lot of symbols, like the monkey or the shark or whatever, that they could have easily done something like that. and the blue hair is GOOFY!!! the only one who gets a pass is Isha, bc her hair clearly looks like a quick dye/paintjob, versus everyone else who looks like they went to a salon.
I think this is, again, an issue of screentime economics, but im honestly disappointed in the CaitVi reunion. it's not that I dislike the scenes themselves, but it all feels so... easy! fast! like their breakup felt so emotionally resonant and them making up felt so quick. I have my fingers crossed for Consequences (and fallout from both Vi's alcoholic era and Cait's rebound bedsharing) next act, especially based on the preview, but like.... we have so much other stuff to tie up I am just not sure there is enough time for them to really deliver the impact that the breakup promised.
I've been told that they always planned for 2 seasons and had everything plotted out beforehand but the pacing is... really weird for something they had so meticulously planned for two seasons. It feels a LOT more like they wrote a story they wanted to tell, they were then given 18 episodes in which to tell it, and they decided they liked their original story so much that they didn't want to cut anything even though 18 episodes is a huge squeeze for this number of characters/this level of plot complexity.
And I think the quality difference is SO noticeable between the acts that are tight and focused (like this arc here, or the original season 1 act 1 -- both were tightly focused around Vander family dynamics, with some B and C plots. Compare that to act 1 of s2, which feels like trying to the contents of an entire pringles can into my mouth at once)
Related to that, I keep getting the sense that the writers want Specific Events to happen -- they want Jinx to care for someone that represents Powder, in order to coax out that part of her again. They want Cait and Vi to pull a doublecross deception on Ambessa. They want Victor to lead a jesus cult. etc. And then they draw a line from A to B in the most efficient way possible instead of doing things in a way that feels natural or actually rewarding. And then of course the specific Thing they wanted to happen does happen, and they do it really well. And it going really well retroactively justifies the hamfistedness of the setup, but also, should it? I talked about this issue for s2act1 last time but it remains, so.
Anyway that ways just way too many words to essentially talk about one issue. But that one issue (pacing/story planning) just... seeps into EVERYTHING, and I spent a long time typing all that out, so.
This is a bit of a complimentary critique, but I think the wild pacing means that there is a LOT of feeling jerked around emotionally, and I think the show is doing a pretty good job at making that feel exciting instead of confusing, so props for that
Ok now for stuff I liked, because despite my Hater Energy I loved this arc. that is why I have critiques. Because I love it and wish it was better.
like I said, Isha's introduction felt really hamfisted but I can't deny her story crushed my SOUL this arc. I loved that she was nonverbal, I loved her growing relationship with Jinx and it all definitely got enough screen time for Jinx's character development to feel natural/real/earned. I loved that. I cried. oh my fucking god. I love the thematic parallels of it all and I love how it puts Jinx into the role of a parent -- this WHOLE show is about family. sisters and brothers and parents and their kids. this is what it is ABOUT this is why i love this SHOW aughgaaiudsadsafdkha
Jinx's whole character development and everything is so. I don't have brain to write more about it tn but im like. yeah. i love it a lot. she allows herself to try to be the big fat hero...
I love women. This was such a good arc for beautiful handsome women.
I was suuuuper skeptical of Warwick -- I knew from fan speculation the likely connection between him and Vander, and also that he was a big fuckoff werewolf, and I was worried it would all be too goofy but really loved this. Jinx's look of utter terror when she didn't know if she'd killed her father/sister again, the hug, Vander's head touch with Vi, his love for his children bringing him back from thoughtless rage... i loved it. i can't even think about that last scene oh my GOD
I did just complain about the CaitVi reunion but as a homosexual I loved it a lot. Like. It was hot. There was spit and handcuffs and wrassling in the dirt. the almost-kiss when Cait pulled the bag over her head was more intimate than a kiss. there was name calling.
I love Cait having a rebound gf/fuckbuddy. It is SO funny to me, it's an excellent characterization moment for Cait, it's great tension that will HOPEFULLY have payoff in act 3, it's incredible fodder for angsty erotic fanfiction that I hope will soon grace a browser near me. and i hope it influences the CaitVi NETFLIX SEX WARNING scene that will soon grace a TV near me. I hope it is so long it compels me to write 1k words complaining that it was an irresponsible use of screen time
Jinx and Vi teaming up is another thing that felt too fast for me but like, was retroactively justified by how good it was. LIKE!!! Vi protecting Jinx. Parallels to childhood. Their sibling fight. How Vi reached out to her and welcomed her into the family hug. I'm emotional
We finally got to see BLOOD like I'm not a gore person, honestly, but act1 was pretty bloodless even during violent scenes, and I was a little worried that it would just be like that. but NO!!! Warwick's massacre was soooo good and got that blood spraying
I really like how Silco continues to haunt Jinx, and I love the way the show is exploring her grief and like... that she doesnt know who she is anymore. ough.
LOVE Sevika and Jinx's heist/disguise scene, especially all the animation/art details. Like the way Jinx's disguise is so poorly fitted, it's so good. I rewatched that scene specifically like, 4 times
Pitfighter Vi 🧎
as always super interested to hear other people's thoughts, critiques, critiques of my critiques, if im missing something big, etc etc.
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echantedtoon · 7 months ago
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Im just going to be doing this third installment for the rest of the most memorable demons (minus Rui's siblings, Spider Mother, Rui himself, Nezuko, Daki, and Genya again for VERY obvious reasons) on who I think is the best and worst dads/moms. No real order this time tho.
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MUZAN:
-He would be a mixed up bag of good and bad traits tbh. When you first told him he flat out told you to stop teasing him. "Stop your childish games. It's a waste of time." You legit have to go get Kokushibo and have him look over your form through the transparent world and have him confirm to Muzan that you were indeed NOT lying or trying to prank him for Muzan to believe you.
-He's oddly silent for a long moment after just staring at you for a long while before going "Oh...Well this is a surprising turn of events."
-He can absolutely act like he's invested in his child and loves them. He's an asshole but a very convincing one to where even you couldn't tell if he was genuine or not. How he is towards the child is a mixed bag in of itself. He doesn't treat the child with harm or too much aggression. If anything he's actually more curious about seeing what a demon-human hybrid could accomplish.
-Look. Your child is either fully demon or fully human with your mixed genes. There's no in-between. If it's fully human then he's rather disappointed in the result. In turn he loses a lot of interest in the kid and just allows you to essentially raise them yourself without too much interference. He might change the child into a demon when they get older but overall wouldn't see much point in bothering with the tyke.
-If the child is demon THEN he will have a bigger interest. He's disappointed when you both find out that your child is in fact NOT immune to sunlight but he was already anticipating that anyways. He's very invested in making the perfect heir for himself.
-VERY strict perfectionist. Your child will be very smart, a good fighter, and as dangerous as a lower moon by the time they're eight because of their father's teachings. But at what costs?
-You wouldn't get to have a say in much of anything in their raising then.
-He plans out their schedule every day AND night for everything: Education, training, discipline, sleep, times they are to eat and who they interact with and when- He has very strict rules and if they aren't followed then they're training time is much more harsher. By default he also plans yours as the child's mother.
4½/10 Only because of the mixed bag of parenting style otherwise I'd score him much lower however an in between seems about right.
SPIDER FATHER:
-He's a good dad in Rui's opinion to Rui but no one else and honestly I hate how he treats practically everyone else.
0/10 for obvious reasons
YUSHIRO:
-Honestly not as bad of a father as one might assume. Whether the baby is between himself and Tamayo or himself and Y/n doesn't matter. He loves them all the same. Doesn't even care if they're human, demon, or a hybrid.
-Was shocked but not too shocked by the news of becoming a father, but it did take him a whole ass week to really come to terms with it.
-He's very skilled in medicine being Tamayo's assistant so he's able to help a lot with the baby's mother's pregnancy. Tonics to help her sore throat after they vomit, cures for aches and pains especially with swollen ankles, check ups to make sure baby's healthy. He's VERY attentive to his partner and their mental, physical, and emotional needs. Doesn't mean he's not a nervous wreck tho.
-Despite already knowing medical procedures including the birth, he still researches LOTS. Best educational toys, best fabrics to lessen the irritation of the baby's sensitive skin, etc- This man goes above and beyond so much it worries the mother. Tamayo has to get involved in order for him to be convinced to calm down.
-Is literally a nervous wreck when his child is born. Messy hair, bags under his eyes, nervous pacing- He doesn't faint but for a long while after the baby's born he'll just sit down and stare at the closest wall blankly and silently- "Yushiro, are you alright?" "Oh yes. Perfectly fine." "Then why are you just sitting there?" "Just...having a moment, Dear." Give him a moment. His brain is still processing the chubby sleeping mass in his arms after so long.
-Once reality finally slaps his brain into gear, he just cries. Good tears going down his face as he blubbers and holds his baby close to him on instinct. Praises mama too. Commenting on how baby is as beautiful as her and they have her eyes.
-Terrified and protective dad. He knows the dangers and keeps baby at home with mom safely tucked away in their hidden home away from danger. Only takes them out when both himself and Tamayo go somewhere. Strength in numbers.
-Loves holding his baby and sharing his painting hobby. Tamayo found him holding baby as they messily slapped hands full of paint all over a canvas. "Yushiro, what are you doing?" "Exploring their artistic skills of course."
-Man hangs all of his child's artwork proudly on the walls. Once nearly threw hands when one of Tamayo's patients said it wasn't that great.
-He can be very strict or hard on his child due to stress, fear, or stubbornness however and it has lead to some loud fights.
8/10 best father on this list no doubt
SWAMP DEMON:
-Have you seen how creepy he is in Kimetsu Gauken?? Absolutely NOT!
-0/10 Id rather take my chances with Muzan with a massive temper
TAMAYO:
-Is already an experienced parent having prior experience with her past family she lost. So she would definitely know what she's doing and what needs to be done. Already a good start.
-Is very calm and casual about the entire process as she's been through it before although Yushiro is practically worrying his entire hairline off fussing over her. Even though she tells him multiple times to stop worrying so much.
-Can really take care of herself through the entire process being a doctor and a previous mother before so there's really no complications outside of having to stay hidden for safety reasons.
-Has already prepared, planned, and set up a nursery with all the essentials on top of having an emergency bag in case they have to flee right away.
-Yushiro becomes the de fault uncle/dad figure worrying over the baby and crying when Tamayo allows him to hold baby and help care for it while she's busy. He becomes very protective and attached to mini Tamayo.
-Very good parent. Rarely if ever raises her voice to her child. Teaches them everything she knows about medicine and other skills so her child grows to be very smart. Has Yushiro help train them with his attack mode in case they ever have to fight anyone.
-Only downside is that she is unsure if she should offer her medicine to baby if they were born demon in fear it might harm them.
10/10 best mother out of all the demons in kny
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 11 months ago
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i explain india but i'm drunk.
Hello maggots of mine you're all such babygirls and bastards just like Aziraphale and Crowley. I'm so proud of you all for existing. Yes i'm a wholesome drunk you now know this about me. The wine tastes like rotten grapes and smells of battery acid and cost 245 rupees INR. Speaking of INR, thanks to a maggot's ask, I'm here to explain India. I've never set foot outside of this country. But I'm also very very shit at general knowledge.
To any non-Indians reading this, this is a totally legit 1000% everything covered all-inclusive summary. To any Indians reading this, I'm so so fucking sorry.
India, explained.
So there's south india and there's north india and there's north east india. north india is very racist about south india and they're both very racist about north east india. Most of these people are also probably racist either to other countries or they have internalised racism. It's a wild trip.
There are. A lot of languages here. And a LOT of scripts. I can read two scripts, understand four Indian languages and speak in two of them (badly), and those two are not my native tongues. I cannot speak in my native tongues. It's basically English at this point. These aren't dialects, those are separate. Picture like, Europe, but more, in terms of how many languages.
Everyone hates each other which is valid for the entire planet honestly.
In south india we have a lot of coconuts. Like a lot. There are so many coconuts you have no fucking idea guys you cannot escape the coconuts. I was nearly killed by a shower of coconuts when I was 5 I escaped by one second.
There are also cows. People will tell you that you are being racist when you say India has cows everywhere. But it's true. Two weeks ago I had the pleasure to be stuck in a traffic jam. Next to the street barrier thing (what divides a street im too drunk for this) I saw a huge bull fucking HUMPING a cow. The vehicles just had to move around them. They were having sex right there.
If you're a middle class Indian kid, your career options are: doctor, engineer, scientist, CA, lawyer, government official or family disappointment.
Needless to say, I was going to be doctor and am now instead family disappointment. I'm babygirling so hard it's insane. The prodigal son.
It's very ace-friendly and heterophobic in the sense that you are not supposed to be exhibiting any sexuality whatever in a respectable household. Just shut up and give virgin birth already. But be married. That's crucial.
Oh yeah gay marriage isn't legal trans people are constantly othered by society and/or given no respect whatsover and we're just all vibing here this is totally not why I'm finishing a small bottle of cheap wine on a thursday past midnight alone in my room.
Foreigners are like a zoo species you see them you're instantly concerned like what are they doing outside the TV screens and then either people are normal (rarely), they run up and take photos or try to slip into conversation (more often than you'd think, even I've been guilty of the conversation thing as a kid) OR they start talking about how 'this western culture is ruining our culture'. Which is fair but honestly both the 'cultures' these people are talking about usually involve incredible amounts of bigotry and are more similar than they think.
I think the lesson here is that humans just suck as a species. Except for you maggots. I love you all and I will defend you with my life.
THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT IS INSANELY AMAZING. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHAAT. I HAVE NO SPICE TOLERANCE SO I HAVE TO BEG ON MY KNEES FOR THE SPICES TO BE REDUCED BUT STILL. THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT, YOU GUYS. YOU NEED IT.
Sorry yes I'm normal. ALSO THE STREET DOGS. THE INDIES. THEY'RE SO LOVELY AND SWEET AND CHAOTIC AND I KEEP TALKING TO THEM. Once when I was crying I made the dog distress while and like five dogs that I didn't know came running to me and comforted me and licked me.
INDIAN DANCE MUSIC. I FUCKING LOVE IT IT'S INSANE. My family were elitist as fuck so I never got to listen to Bollywood music as a kid but it's AMAZING I'm so glad it exists. Bhangra too.
Beaches very very pretty hills very very pretty honestly the nature is fucking beautiful if you can just quickly pretend humans don't exist, which again is true of this entire planet. Yeah. Okay I'm so fucking drunk.
Yeah lots of diversity which is very nice when the humans aren't screaming at each other about it but the rest of the time it's very nice
The garbage and sewer stories? yeah they're all true im sorry
Traffic rules more like traffic suggestions amirite
Well, we still have far better healthcare access than america. so. there is that.
If you speak English well you'll be mocked and isolated. If you speak English poorly you'll be mocked and isolated. Honestly, just be rich. That'll fix it all.
All the conservatives hate each other and don't realise they're the exact same but in like different flavours.
Oh yeah we have auto rickshaws. Look them up. They're so much better than cars I don't get motion sick as easily in them. But the drivers all hate you and never want to take you anywhere.
Eyyyyyyyyyy it's so fucking fun here *drinsk more alcohol* I am so fucking not looking forward to college.
Please someone crowdfund me out of here let's all go chill in Alpha Centauri I've heard it's nice this time of the year.
I will, however, miss the casual live cow pornos. A true highlight.
[I got this peer-reviewed by my friend in India's top law school, just in case, because I'm too drunk and generally dumb. They say I will not be killed. And they've been on Twitter so.]
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Irrefutable legal proof y'all. I don't mean to offend anyone except bigots. Fuck you, bigots, if you're not offended then I've disappointed my community.
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bullet-prooflove · 1 month ago
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Five Years Gone: Neron 'Creeper' Vargas x Reader
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Tagging: @kmc1989 @est1887 @anime-weeb-4-life @creativitybeware @mortal--soul @spaghettificationandpretzels @redpoodlern @lexondeck @librarian1002 @thanossexual @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @adaydreamaway08 @wnbweasley @skyesthebomb
Brothers!Series:
Brothers - Neron's brother threatens his sobriety.
Wide Awake - Neron regrets his decision.
Out of Sight - Neron asks you a favour.
Slow Burn - Neron and you watch it burn.
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Neron lets you sleep in; you usually need the rest after you’ve worked the convention circuit. It’s been three days of solid tattooing, of late nights and early mornings and that’s not including the travel to and from San Diego, the packing and unpacking of your equipment.
Currently you’re splayed out across the bed, tangled up in his sheets. You’re wearing his black wifebeater from last night and boy boxers that hug your ass just right. Your tattoos are on display, that beautiful artwork etched into your skin.
As he leans in the bedroom doorway, his coffee mug in his hand he can’t help but think how lucky he is. His world was dark, barren before he met you and now it’s a sea of colour.
There’s a rap on his front door and he frowns because it’s six in the morning and everyone else he knows it getting ready for work or sleeping. The last person he expects to see is his brother Mateo. He hasn’t spoken to the other man since he’d kicked him out for bringing coke into his home. Something he had vehemently denied until Neron had held up the vial.
His face is a bloody mask, he clutches his ribs as he practically falls through Neron’s door, spilling into the hallway. His palm comes to rest on the cream wall leaving a crimson handprint in its wake.
It’s as Neron cleans up Mateo in the kitchen that the story begins to unfold. Mateo’s in deep with his dealer, he owes 10k after his product got jacked last week and Salvadore Ortiz isn’t feeling forgiving. Neron gets the impression that this isn’t the first time that Mateo’s disappointed the drug lord. If he doesn’t pay up though it’ll be his last.
“I can’t help you.” He tells his brother as he applies the butterfly stitches to the cuts above his brow.
He isn’t lying, the last time he’d fallen off the wagon he’d blew through every single dollar of his savings. He’s just finished paying off Taza and Riz for his last two stints in rehab.
“I can.”
His heart fucking sinks when he lifts his head and sees you standing in the doorway. He doesn’t want you involved in this side of his life, cleaning up Mateo’s messes, having your sobriety challenged.
It comes with conditions; you tell Mateo as you pull on one of Neron’s hoodies and tie your hair back so you can retrieve the money from the safe at the tattoo shop. As soon as he’s paid his dealer, he checks himself into rehab. You’ll set it up but he has to meet you back here later in the day, you’ll walk him in yourself.
In that moment Neron doesn’t think he could love you more, because your compassion, it isn’t just reserved for him, it extends to his fucked-up family as well. As he watches his brother depart with the money, Neron thinks he might just do it this time. That Mateo will finally get himself clear of all the shit he’s involved in, and they can be brothers again.
He hopes for it as the two of you sit in his living room that night, watching the clock and waiting for Mateo to show. By the time midnight comes around Neron knows it’s over, that his brother has taken your money and used it to go on a bender.
“I’m sorry.” He tells you, rubbing his hands over his exhausted features. “He took you money, your trust…”
“We both know how hard it is,” You remind him as you sit down alongside of him. “You have to want to get clean and Mateo, he just doesn’t.”
The worst part is he knows that you did this for him, to give him back some connection to the family that he’s lost through addiction. His parents, his brother, himself, every single one of them has been tainted with it. The guilt cripples him. It eats away at his soul as he lies beside you that night, because you’re so wonderful and pure and he’s poison. He’s the toxin that’s bleeding into your life and you don’t even realise it.
It's the next day that he gets a visit from the police and the news, it devastates him. They found Mateo’s body in a motel outside of Santo Padre, a needle still in his arm. An O.D they tell him.
When he identifies his brother, he feels that numbness creeping in because Neron realises for the first time in his life he’s completely alone. His family is gone, eradicated by the illness that’s plagued them for generations.
The next night he finds himself sitting in a bar near the motel where Mateo died. He orders a vodka, watching as the clear liquid swirls around the glass before he throws his head back and drains it completely.
Five years of sobriety…
Gone, just like that.
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rainbowravez · 7 months ago
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i think it's really disappointing how interesting and complex of a character yul could be instead of being a one-dimensional bigoted racist archetype used as comedic relief.
it would've been so much better if he were a commentary on how the entertainment industry can shape people into genuine horrible people because of the toxic work culture and serve as a contrast to james, who left the industry (or atleast isn't as involved) and how it let him grow as a person, while yul has to stay because he has no choice for other sources of income and how his bitterness and resentment only continues to grow and harbor into the man he is now. imagine if a huge part of his resentment towards james was because of jealousy that he was able to escape the industry, instead of just mostly being because he poisoned him with mushrooms last season. what if that's why he was so angry that james tried to lecture him because james has no clue what it's like for him and that he has the nerve to question him when he feels james had the privilege of being able to escape. he's angry that someone who could relate to his struggles now is just like everyone else; an outsider of how bad the workforce he's in is and he's truly alone again with nobody to confide in because he hates the only other person who can relate, grett.
his relationship with grett is implied to be forced upon him and this could've been so interesting to explore. in the first few episodes it seems like he has genuine moments with her. what if a part of him actually loved her because he finally has someone who can relate, but because he was forced into this position he sees her as his captor who is the embodiment of how he will never have the ability to make his own choices. they got the right idea when he's talking to james on the bike, where he says "when i win the 3 million, i'll never have to listen to anyone", but it's ruined when it's just chalked up to him being like "i dont want a fat girlfriend cuz shes ugly and im not". it could've been a commentary on how k-pop stars are often objectified by their fanbase and their employers and how little control they have in their lives, especially being recruited at a young age (WHICH IS LITERALLY STATED IN THE SHOW!!! WHEN HE SAID A VIDEO OF HIM DANCING BLEW UP!!) and the mental toll it has. he's so cruel to her because of his frustration with his situation and a want for her to leave, both using her as a punching bag for his lack of control while simultaneously trying to make her leave him as a way to regain the little control he has over himself.
the biggest flaw of yul's characterization is how his bigotry is NEVER called out. yes, the point is that he's SUPPOSED to be unlikable, but nobody ever says he's being racist and why it's wrong (besides gabby when she defends grett), they say it's to make us hate him more but if THESE THINGS AREN'T CALLED OUT, especially to their young fanbase of young teens, it comes across as just out-of-pocket "dark" humor that relies of shock value to make the audience laugh, which insinuates that it's okay. he's literally just saying bigoted shit for the sake of it. you can write an unlikable character without making him drop obscenities every moment he's on screen. it's bad writing and an easy opt out that takes little effort to write and has become normalized in the show, esp. considering how the spanish va of yul improvised a racist line (calling james a monkey) and how they just let it slide because "oh well it's in character". if your voice actor is randomly saying racist stuff that's not even in the script and you allow it to slide, your team has a serious problem.
there's so many characters that are intertwined with the entertainment industry (riya, james, grett, yul) and so many of the ideas are THERE but they aren't dived into and these characters end up being one-note as a result, like yul and riya. the best we can do is infer but that can only go so far. maybe i'm asking too much for a total drama inspired series to have complex writing and nuance, but if you want to differentiate and distance yourself from total drama (esp. when it prides it's writing as being more complex than total drama) maybe actually put some effort into making complex characters and not using them as a puppet to make bigoted remarks.
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