#regardless tho i will continue to support them in the ways that i can and hope the best for everyone involved with the company

[silhouettecrow]

Luckily, they aren't taking any past videos off of YouTube, but moving forward, they are only posting episode 1 of each season of their shows and the rest will be on their service, so you have to pay for anything beyond the first episode of a season.

And I am personally a hardcore fan; I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2017, and I followed them to Watcher gladly and have been watching there on a regular basis (until recently, due to personal stuff, I had never missed an episode). That being said, I cannot follow them to a streaming service because I just can't justify paying $6 a month or $60 a year for videos I've been enjoying on an app that is free and accessible in a variety of ways (YouTube is obviously far from perfect, but it has so many accessible features that are crucial for so many people, including me, to enjoy videos). And I'm sure I'm not the only person in this specific boat.

I just wish they insteas offered YouTube memberships and talked more about/pushed more for the Patreon 'cos that would allow for continued accessibility on YouTube and for us, the audience, to have the choice to pay and how much to support their content. I wish them the best, but it feels like there is a near-unanimous opinion that this was a bad move

idk man i know times are hard but i can't help but feel that watcher putting all their eggs in the basket that is their own streaming service is a bad call. like sure i totally get wanting a platform where you have full control both creatively and financially but i feel they might be misjudging how much loyalty non-hardcore fans might have for what they're creating. in every internet fandom there's a subsection of people willing to pay with actual money to support the creators they enjoy, and that's what services like patreon are for. but to expect that casual viewers will sign up and pay a monthly fee to get access to just watcher content when a large portion of them were likely just watching the content because it was free and accessible on youtube assumes that someone who isn't a diehard fan won't just go "oh well" and find something else on youtube that IS still free? that seems like a miscalculation to me. the massive fanbases online content creators have may literally be only possible because the content is available to anyone-- it seems foolish to assume that every single one of those fans is going to stick around once you try to upsell them.

i hope this new venture goes well for the watcher crew. I really do. but i also know that a lot of brands and startups that bank on the loyalty they earned when their product was free or low cost and expect that to sustain them while they try to do something that historically has not gone well for the vast majority of businesses. at best, they'll have halved their fanbase by alienating those who can't or don't want to pay and made it much more difficult for remaining fans to create fandom products like memes or gifs that promote their shows on social media. at worst, they'll discover in the near future the independent streaming service model is unsustainable with only the fans they have left and by that point they'll have already deleted themselves from youtube and made it impossible to come back to the level of success they had before. any attempt to return to youtube will be an admission of a critical miscalculation and i doubt many remaining fans will tolerate the back and forth. they'll have crippled their credibility, relevancy, and fanbase loyalty over a very short period of time-- and i don't know if it would even be possible to come back and still be beloved after all that.

worst of all-- if the watcher streaming service crashes and burns after they've already removed all their content from youtube, all the watcher shows are essentially going to become lost media, only accessible via reuploaders willing to risk a copy strike or if you know someone who has a copy downloaded. given how genuinely good the watcher content is in the sea of lackluster youtube mush, that really seems like a damn shame.

i hope the watcher team sees how everyone is responding and decides to course correct before it's too late and get away with only the hit to their reputation that they've already taken by announcing this, instead of pushing forward on a path that might lose them everything instead. nothing i've said here is with any hate intended toward anyone involved or those who are excited about the new service, but this just seems like a really ill-advised decision to me.

[tonyspank]

LOST IN THE FIRE

black!singer!reader x jenna ortega (they/them pronouns, but there’s mentions of them having a pp, lol)

warnings: fluff and a tiny bit of angst i guess, my poor attempts at humor again, social media w a bit of irl

a/n: i’ve always wanted to do a social media book. so this is just something fun i came up with, i hope you enjoy :) it’s also a way i can put u guys onto my fav songs 🤭

faceclaim: khalil beth

Is Percy Hynes White Dating Jenna Ortega?

Jenna and Percy have yet to confirm or deny dating rumors, but they have posted many cute cast photos of one another on Instagram. On top of that, Jenna took Percy as her plus one date for the 2023 Golden Globes — and they're set to star in a movie together!

━━━━ iMESSAGE

3 talented artists + jack lani - kehlani jackie - jack tae - matteo

lani Y/N sweetie..

jackie 🙁

tae what'd i miss??

jackie Y/N's fav ex is dating an ugly man 🥺

tae JENNA? NAHH

tae let's hope she leave him too 🤞

tae she'll miss the bbc 🥲

lani omg wdf 😭😭

you ...

jackie now the dots was a lil dramatic

lani JACK 😭😭

you jack stfu before i shave ur beard

tae got his ass

lani LMFAOO

jackie 🤐

tae ok ok but Y/N how are u rn?

lani frr like talk to us

you wdym?

you we broke up why would i be bothered

jackie

🤨

tae 💀💀

lani i've never met anyone who still likes their exes posts

you it's called being mature

you i am able to support her regardless of what happened

tae it's called being delusional

jackie laughed at "it's called being delusional"

jackie i have an idea

jackie

tae fam what is ur camera roll? 💀

lani what's ur idea jack

jackie i'm gonna ask demi for an invite to the scream 6 premiere

jackie then me and Y/N gon jump percy in front of jenna right

lani

side-eye…

jackie and then jenna gon be like

jackie oh my god not my mans getting his ass beat by my ex & their bsf tf

you please stfu 🙏

jackie bro

jackie i'm tryna help you save ur gf from a guy who looks like the definition of pervert

tae laughed at "i'm tryna help you safe ur gf from a guy who looks like the definition of pervert"

lani 😭😭😭😭

lani i can't breathe

you it's literally just a rumor that they're dating tho

you & i'm not going to the premiere

jackie mhm

━━━━

y/nhart posted on Instagram.

Liked by jackharlow, devyn_nekoda, and 7,891,103 others

y/nhart what's your favorite scary movie? 🔪 #ScreamVI @screammovies

View all 12,793 comments

screammovies You, of course. 🔪🩸 > y/nhart can we kiss?

jackharlow what did you say in the group chat? > y/nhart that jack harlow is a flop 🤫

user15 bro doing everything but dropping an album 💀 > user1 ong. right my wrongs ep was amazing but it's been 8 months 😭

mrmatteo where was my invite? > y/nhart drop a song then let's talk > user3 what a hypocrite 💀

user8 bite me

kehlani you could never be ghostface > screammovies Its always someone you know. 👻🔪🩸

user11 GO TO THE STUDIO

user992 i have $1,000 frank will drop before this mf

user90 MORE JENNA AND Y/N CONTENT??? > user78 i missed them :')

━━━━

            Your eyes were starting to water due to the number of flashes from the cameras that were going off around you. The bright lights made it difficult to keep your eyes open, but you knew that this was just part of being in the spotlight.

  Jack places a hand on your arm, slightly shoving you towards the exit. You ignore the yells of your name and continue to make your way off the carpet.

Your bodyguard, who had been standing nearby, steps in to create a path through the crowd, shielding you and Jack from the relentless paparazzi.

  "Did you talk to Jenna?" Jack asks, leaning close enough for his voice to be heard.

You send the bearded man a glare, shaking your head. "No. I don't even think she's walked the carpet yet."

Jack raises an eyebrow before turning his head to the carpet, which is still filled with celebrities and flashing cameras.

He scans the area, searching for any sign of Jenna among the chaos. He then turns back to you with a smirk on his lips. "I think you're just ducking her."

You roll your eyes at Jack's teasing remark.

"Please, like I have time to play hide and seek with Jenna. I'm just trying to avoid the relentless paparazzi."

You gesture towards the swarm of photographers jostling for the perfect shot.

Jack hums, his smile widening. A thought clicks into his head, causing his smile to drop.

"Oh, yeah! I talked to Melissa, and she is fine as fuck."

You thin out your lips. Jack probably didn't know she was married.

"I'll tell her husband you said that."

"You know what they say. Don't let your husband distract you from finding the love of your life."

You chuckle at his joke.

━━━━

"May I say you look amazing tonight?" The interviewer states, smiling as they admire your appearance.

You smile, bringing your hands together to calm yourself before responding.

"Thank you so much."

"Are you a big fan of the Scream franchise?" The interviewer asks, moving their microphone closer.

You nod, your eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Absolutely! Ghostface is such an iconic character, and I love the twists that they put in the movie. It just always keeps you on your toes."

The interviewer chuckles, sharing your enthusiasm. "I completely agree! The Scream franchise has definitely left a lasting impact on the horror genre with its clever storytelling and memorable characters. Speaking of memorable characters, whose is your favorite?"

You pause for a moment, looking up at the sky as you bite down on your lip.

"Uhh... It's hard to choose just one, but if I had to pick, I would say Roman Bridger. I didn't suspect him at all, and his reveal as the mastermind behind everything in Scream 3 was a total shock. Plus, Scott Foley's performance was absolutely chilling."

The interviewer nods, appreciating your choice. "I couldn't agree more. He's surely one to remember."

You nod again, smiling. "For sure. I've always wanted to play Ghostface. Taking off the mask and revealing your plan must be so fun."

The interviewer laughs and says, "I'm sure you'd do great."

Before you could respond with a thank you, the interviewer speaks up.

"Jenna! It's so nice to see you." You turn to see Jenna, your heart dropping at the sight of her.

You force a tight-lipped smile at the brunette. "Hey Jenna, long time no see," you say, trying to sound casual.

Deep down, you can't help but wonder if she still thinks about you.

Jenna returns the smile. "Yeah, it's been a while," she replies softly.

Memories of your past together flood your mind, and you can't help but wonder if there's still a chance for reconciliation.

"You guys are so stunning, I can't even!" The interviewer gushes, snapping you out of your thoughts.

Jenna chuckles, her eyes meeting yours briefly before she turns her attention back to the interviewer.

"Jenna, I've gotta ask. Are you a fan of Y/N's music?" Jenna nods her head, glancing at you again before answering.

"I am. They're very talented musically, and I'm waiting for another album."

You try to fight back a smile, but it fails miserably. The interviewer notices your failed attempt to hide your smile and chuckles.

"Seems like there's mutual admiration here," they remark, noticing the subtle connection between you and Jenna.

You tilt your head, shrugging a bit. "I guess you could say that. Jenna's very talented herself, both musically and in acting."

Jenna feels the butterflies in her stomach erupt as you compliment her.

She's missed you, and she wants nothing more than to reconnect with you. She blushes slightly and responds, "Thank you."

━━━━

You walk over to Jenna, interrupting her conversation with Percy. "Jenna."

Jenna turns towards you, a surprised expression on her face as she pauses mid-sentence.

"Come home with me?"

Jenna's eyes widen as she processes your unexpected request, leaving her momentarily speechless.

After a brief moment of hesitation, she nods slowly, her curiosity piqued. "Sure, why not? Let's go."

Percy furrows his eyebrows, watching you and Jenna walk off together.

When you arrive home, you take off your jacket and help Jenna with hers.

Jenna mumbles a thank you before making herself comfortable on the couch.

She looks around the unfamiliar surroundings, seeing as you've changed a few things since the last time she was there.

Jenna's eyes linger on a Polaroid of you and her, capturing a happy memory from months ago. Of course, Jenna still loved you, but was she ready to take the risk of getting hurt again?

She couldn't bear the fact that things might not work out between you two, causing more heartbreak.

Fame had always been a double-edged sword for Jenna. While it had brought her success and recognition, it also came with constant scrutiny and pressure.

It's what ruined you two. Jenna being constantly busy due to acting and you constantly being busy due to singing made it difficult for you both to find quality time together.

Despite the love that still existed between you, the demands of your respective careers created a growing distance that neither of you knew how to bridge.

You walk into the living room, two glasses of wine in your hand. "Actually," Jenna speaks up, and you raise your eyebrows in anticipation.

She continues, "Could we sit on your balcony?"

You nod, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Of course," you say, leading the way to the balcony.

As you settle into the comfortable chairs, the city lights twinkling below, Jenna takes a deep breath and says, "I miss moments like this, just being together without any distractions."

You take a sip of your wine, pausing to savor the flavor before responding. "Me too," you say, gazing out at the night sky.

"I missed you."

Jenna's eyes soften, and she reaches over to gently touch your lap. "I missed you too," she whispers.

"I hope you know that I'm not dating Percy."

"I know," you reply, a small smile forming on your lips. "I knew you wouldn't downgrade like that."

Jenna chuckles softly, her dimples beginning to show. "That's hilarious."

A silence falls over the two of you.

"I couldn't imagine being with anyone other than you," you snap your head towards her, your heart swelling with love at words.

She always knew the right thing to say.

"You're the only one who truly understands me, Y/N." Jenna's eyes meet yours, her brown pupils glistening in the moonlight.

"I can't find myself being vulnerable or trusting with anyone else." She finishes off, breaking away from your gaze.

You don't say anything, you just place your hand over top of hers, which was resting on your lap.

━━━━

y/nhart posted on Instagram.

Liked by jennaortega, jackharlow, kehlani, bnyx, and 13,829,100 others

y/nhart 12...??...23...lost in the fire...earned it...all mine...confident...all mine...oui...greece...get me...kiss land...for free

➕➕➕.

meltdown...i'd do anything to make you smile...boyfriend,girlfriend...rambo...let em'know

@chancetherapper @djkhaled @kehlani @travisscott @jackharlow @feliciathegoat @theweeknd @bnyx

View all 46,829 comments

user12 OMFG BRUH

user99 AOTY

jackharlow deluxe 🔜

bnyx 👨‍🍳🔥🎶

theweeknd 🫡

user77 couldve had better feats tbh > user880 STFU

djkhaled 🔥🔥🔥 WE'LL NEVER STOP 🛑!!! 

>user14 TELL EM BRING OUT THE ALBUM ALREADY

user67 i'm about to cry.

━━━━

y/nsrealwife posted on Instagram.

18,782 likes

y/nsrealwife i stand by what i said

View all 138 comments

user11 unknown? it's jenna😭 > y/nrealwife me when i'm delusional

user45 there's no misses on the album + they ate down in the deluxe > user89 came in my pants when they came on the track w that "t-time, t-time, t-time.."

user66 can we talk abt for free? bro had like 10 viagra pills before pulling up to the studio > user77 💀💀💀

jackharlowsbeard kehlani & jack on the album made me so happy.

━━━━

y/nhart posted on Instagram.

Liked by jennaortega, jackharlow, mrmatteo, kehlani, arianagrande, and 17,839,138 others

y/nhart mega christmas dump 🎄@jennaortega @jackharlow @mrmatteo @kehlani

Comments have been limited.

tonyspank had to put it in a collage due to the 10 photo limit 🙁

—

jennaortega has posted a story.

[shrinkthisviolet]

I would love to hear your thoughts on the Johnny / Daniel conflict over Daniel stopping the fight! Personally, I think Johnny is wrong on multiple levels. If he really thought the best way for Tory to work through her grief was to fight it out, I disagree but different people have different coping mechanisms, but he shouldn't have offered Sam up as a way to do it. Even if Johnny was completely ignoring Sam's well-being and was willing to put her in danger, Tory just apologized and was forgiven. How would she feel if she hurt sam all over again because she was fighting over-emotionally? If Johnny really thought she needed to fight, he should have offered to spar with her.

But also, I think he's wrong about her reasoning on wanting to fight in the first place. To me, it didn't seem like she wanted to hit someone or unleash her anger or work through her feelings. It seemed like she had a very specific goal of becoming the girls' team captain. Sometimes, when you go through intense grief instead of working through it, you want to distract yourself by doing something productive. Her goal was to win the tournament for her mom. To do that, she needed to be captain. That's why she wanted to win, and she wanted to do it by fighting because she wanted to honor her mom by proving she's "a fighter." Because Daniel and Amanda are well-adjusted people, they probably could have helped her through it in the moment, but Johnny undermining Daniel reinforced what Kreese said to Tory by implying that he was playing favorites, causing her to storm off. She literally says the same thing to Amanda that Kreese says to her, that "when push comes to shove you're always gonna choose her over me" and it's after Johnny implies that Daniel is playing favorites. Johnny essentially pushed her back to Kreese by making her think no one else would prioritize her, and all because he projected his personal issues (from when he was a grown adult, and that got him sent to jail) onto a teenager he's never really seemed to care about before now.

This is also the first scene I can think of where Tory and Daniel interact, and i wish we could have gotten more. She's had great moments with Amanda and some more with Sam after she apologized. It would be nice for her to complete the circle and have a nice interaction with Daniel. I think Daniel has the most to teach Tory when it comes to karate and balance, so it would be nice if he actually got to do that, lol. I heard that Peyton said in an interview that Daniel was right to stop the fight, and I hope it does actually get explored in part 2.

Love this take! You’re absolutely right. Johnny was wrong to want to continue the fight—Tory hadn't fully processed her mom’s death, hadn't eaten or slept in 24 hours, hadn’t even been hugged or supported in any way. That’s not the time to jump into a fight...and that’s how everyone ends up hurt (and yep, if Tory had hurt Sam in that state, that would’ve just compounded her grief and made her feel guilty on top of it). So glad Peyton agrees!

And YEP—Tory wanted to continue that fight specifically, to become captain and fight in the tournament. Johnny missed that (and so did at least a handful of fans). Daniel and Amanda were right there to support her, and Robby could’ve too, but as you said, Johnny reinforced “oh you’re playing favorites” (reinforcing Kreese’s words…even tho that wasn’t Johnny’s intention, it was still the wrong time to say that regardless. Read the room, Johnny, ffs) and killed any progress that could've been made*. The fight could’ve been postponed for a day (or at least half a day) until she got rest, food, and support—it didn’t have to happen right then and there.

*none of them should’ve let her walk off, and I’m pissed that they did, but they could've gotten somewhere with Tory to begin with if Johnny hadn’t interjected needlessly and had just TRUSTED DANIEL AND AMANDA

(Plus, Johnny comparing losing his mom at 30 to Tory losing hers at 17-18 felt weird to me. Loss is loss and hurts regardless of age, but people deal with it differently, and age is absolutely a factor in that)

Tory and Daniel have so many parallels, especially in s5...I was absolutely looking forward to them interacting this season. Alas...it was just for this, and Daniel never gets to bring up that he lost a parent as a child too—he KNOWS what that feels like and how much it hurts (and he lost another in Mr. Miyagi, but that was as an adult, so the actuation isn't quite the same).

[mars-ipan]

looks at you . realllyyyyy hard.............. hey................ can u tell me more about sinner hajime bearding w. chiaki and his shame over it im thinking about it and how it affects him real bad.. r they dating married.. r they just a random fling i need to know the deets i need the DEETS!!!!!!!!! sits down

OK SO. i have NOT spent a lot of time on this so bear with me bc i’m mostly figuring this part out as i go. it’s going under a cut tho bc i know myself

ok. to start with. chiaki is one of the first people hajime meets when he moves in— they’re neighbors and in true midwestern fashion she brings him a casserole as a welcome gift. from there they become fast friends! i think, like most people in town, chiaki goes to church on sundays, but she isn’t there often outside of that. she’ll show up to events and volunteer from time to time, though! maybe she occasionally helps at sunday school. maybe it’s her that gets hajime thinking about trying to confess in the first place! she’d never pressure him into going or imply that he had any particular sins to confess, but i think hearing someone he trusts speak highly of the priest there would get him thinking.

anywho. chiaki ends up introducing hajime to a few of her friends, though he doesn’t really connect with them too deeply. they all get along nicely though, and while hajime does have his Guilt following him at all times he feels a bit better after he hangs out with her and her friends— takes his mind off of things for a bit. she has a rabbit named usami, too! she reminds hajime of some of the animals he helped raise on the farm back home. but hajime and chiaki end up basically being besties not long after hajime’s moved in. chiaki eventually develops feelings for hajime, and since she trusts him to be kind regardless of whether he reciprocates, she tells him almost right away. hajime is ecstatic— this is an opportunity! a girl, a nice girl who likes him. if there was any girl that hajime could fall in love with, it’d be her. and if he loves her, then he won’t have any of these other thoughts! he won’t be wondering what his priest looks like under the robes if he has a girlfriend— it’s perfect! so he says yes, and they begin to date.

hajime tells Father Komaeda basically immediately— he’s excited! look, Father, your teachings are working! i’m in a heterosexual relationship, this is what God wants! except…. komaeda isn’t as enthusiastic as hajime expects. supportive, absolutely, his smile as bright as ever, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. he doesn’t celebrate. he tells hajime he’s happy for him— chiaki’s a lovely girl, after all— but reminds him that resisting temptation is not a one and done battle. going out with chiaki is a step in the right direction, absolutely. however, he warns, hajime shouldn’t be too surprised if he finds himself struggling to shake away his impure thoughts. these things don’t disappear overnight. in fact, they should continue their lessons to help make sure that hajime can stay on this path to the light. hajime agrees immediately, thanking komaeda for his wisdom. still, though, he feels positive about this! having someone else to focus on will make leaving behind these unwanted lusts much easier.

except… hajime can’t make himself want her, not in that way. he tries. god, he tries. he loves chiaki, truly he does, but he doesn’t feel as fuzzy as he thinks he should when he holds her hand. kissing her feels like kissing a wall. he freezes up uncomfortably every time she tries to initiate anything further, and, saint that she is, she backs off every time without any hard feelings. he enjoys spending time with her, and holding her, but he’s not… he can’t get himself to desire her. not to mention, the impure desires haven’t gone away, not at all. they’re just as bad as they were before— in fact, they seem to slowly be getting worse. he doesn’t know what to do. hajime cares about chiaki, so much, and he doesn’t want to hurt her. she’s his best friend, and the last thing he wants to do is break her heart. plus, if he breaks up with her, then isn’t that like admitting defeat to his sins? like saying he can’t overcome them? and if he breaks up with her, what does he even say? that he can’t bring himself to be attracted to her? that he’s never been able to think of her in that way, only with… no. there’s no way he can tell her that, she’ll be disgusted. but he hates the idea of lying to her and stringing her along. his only option is to keep trying. he’ll be a better boyfriend, he’ll fall in love, he has to. she deserves someone who loves her, and maybe he can be that someone, if he just keeps trying.

hajime confesses all of this to Father Komaeda, of course, who hears all of it and simply nods. while he agrees that hajime should keep the true nature of his thoughts from her, he also subtly suggests that hajime break off the relationship if he’s not in love with her— lying is a sin, too, and true, holy love cannot be forced into being. perhaps they’re simply better off as friends?

hajime thinks about that advice, but he can’t bring himself to do it. he doesn’t want to hurt her, and he especially doesn’t want to lose her.

here’s the thing. chiaki is observant. she’s just that kind of person, she’s a good judge of emotion. she can tell that hajime seems uncomfortable showing affection to her, even if he’s trying. at first, she chalks it up to nerves, but when it doesn’t go away and almost seems to get worse, she starts to wonder what’s wrong, why he doesn’t seem to be that into her. so she looks a little closer. she notices that hajime prays a lot more often now than when he first moved in. she hears him mumble to himself when he thinks she isn’t listening, things about being wrong and having to try harder, having to be better. she knew from the start that hajime has some deep insecurities— he’s not very good at hiding it— but it’s worse than she thought. hajime’s been going to church near-daily now, and when she goes with him to mass on sundays she sees the way he watches the sermon, almost enraptured. she knows he gets along well with Father Komaeda— in fact, she’d consider them close friends. eventually, she notices things— hajime blushes with his whole face… when Father Komaeda is close to him. he sings the Father’s praises regularly, often thanking chiaki for telling him about the church so he could find his faith again. in moments of vulnerability, hajime has told her that he confesses somewhat frequently— what about, he never told her, but he assured her that he hadn’t hurt anybody so she never pressed him about it. the pieces click into place, and oh… oh, hajime.

unlike hajime, chiaki has nothing against homosexuality. she believes that god’s love comes in many forms, and so long as the people in a relationship truly love each other, then it doesn’t really matter what gender they are, does it? at first, she’s a bit hurt that hajime didn’t tell her, but she quickly reminds herself that hajime seems to deeply resent this part of himself— chances are, he’s yet to even accept it. she hurts for him, i think. she doesn’t like seeing her best friend be so cruel to himself over how he loves. she keeps up the relationship for a couple weeks, to give him the chance to tell her. when it’s clear that he doesn’t plan on telling anyone anytime soon, she decides to take matters into her own hands.

when chiaki approaches hajime and tells him she thinks they’d be better off as friends, he panics. he practically begs her to stay together, asks what he did wrong, promises he’ll do whatever it takes to keep this relationship alive, anything. chiaki looks at him softly, takes his hands in hers, and tells him that it’s okay, he hasn’t done anything wrong. she knows how much he cares about her, but there’s nothing either of them can do if they simply aren’t romantically compatible. “you can’t help who you love,” she tells him. hajime’s breath seems to stutter at that, and he pulls her into a tight hug, apologizing and sobbing gently into her shoulder. it’s a bit awkward physically, since chiaki’s pretty short in comparison to hajime, but she holds him as best she can. when he eventually pulls back, she tells him that they’ll always be best friends, okay? hajime sniffles, smiles, apologizes for breaking down like that, and agrees. best friends. he still doesn’t tell her. she doesn’t ask him to. he’ll tell her when he’s ready.

hajime tells komaeda about the breakup less than 24 hours after it happens. komaeda offers him a kind, gentle smile, clearly meant to reassure him. it reaches his eyes. “i’m sorry things didn’t work out, but i’m grateful you were able to maintain your friendship,” he says. he promises hajime that being single won’t doom him, and that he can still be freed of his sin even if he doesn’t have a nice girl to settle down with at the moment. they will continue their guidance, and one day hajime will be purified. hajime thanks his priest for all he’s done for him. Father Komaeda says he’d do anything to help someone dear see the glory of God.

[raveneira]

I just don't get why Ikemoto is drawing AND writing at the same time..... Like it would've been better if Kodachi stayed and wrote the story, Or Kishimoto continues it (which btw he wants vacation lol). Kodachi/Kishi wrote the better story and they had the vision, on the other hand, Ike's writing is literally a fanfiction lol.

Btw, do you think we still have hope for KawaSara, cuz it's looking too rough now? Don't get me wrong, I still ship it, but Idk what to expect lol....

Yeah, whats worse is its not even Ikemoto's fanfiction, he's literally taking actual fanfic/fan theories and makin em canon, and you cant even say its impossible because in the interview he literally gets off track from answering a question to address complaints he was seeing online to defend himself 😭 so this man DOES look at fandom feedback, so theres no way you can say its totally a coincidence that so many fan theories became canon EXACTLY as they predicted it, theres just no way.

Once or twice you could say that it was a fluke, but this is way more times than one, and the fact that he pretty much confirmed that regardless of fans justified complaints about certain things he will ignore them because 'he likes it that way' so ppl will just have to deal with it.

Meaning having any hope of him taking any of the valid criticism to improve is gone, whatever he likes is what hes gonna do, even if it goes against what even Kishimoto himself wants/wanted because it is HIS story now and Kishimoto has no intention on intervening since hes happy spending time with his family now and isnt ready to let that time go again yet, which is understandable and I hope he takes as long a break as he wants or needs, I just hate that his legacy is being tarnished in the meantime because greedy higher ups WOULDNT let the series die and Kishimoto get a break like he asked for.

The story really did peak under Kishimoto and Kodachi's writing direction, the second the story shifted entirely in IKEMOTOS direction you saw the quality DROP and the story become a directionless convoluted inconsistent mess.

As for if I still have hope for KawaSara...to be honest I dont know anymore, the reveal that Ikemoto is 100% writing and that Kishimoto himself doesnt even know where the story is headed anymore and is just as much a reader as the rest of us, and even if he does give input, he lets Ikemoto have the final say, has gotten me unsure of what to expect anymore.

Under Kishimoto and Kodachi's writing they were pretty strongly hinting at building more on Kawaki and Sarada's relationship, his bond with team 7, to really drive home his betrayal later so that it'd have some real weight and impact from all their build up. So the potential for KawaSara was very high from what they were setting up.

But Ikemoto? yea I dunno what to expect from him, but if where the story direction changed is anything to go by [which Ikemoto confirms was all his doing and its a completely different direction than the one Kishimoto and Kodachi had planned] its safe to say hes tryna push bsa, either that or troll like a mf just to keep those viewers engaged since this manga is tanking more and more every chapter and the biggest supporters are shippers who just wanna see Boruto and Sarada get together for eugenics.

I wont say KawaSara has lost yet or that its hopeless, the ship hasnt been definitively killed off yet, theres still a possibility this is just another NS situation, teasing what the ppl want just to keep em readin till the very end where he finally says alright now for the real endgame once he no longer has anything to lose by pissing off bsa lol

Even if Im unsure about KawaSara at this point in time, Im still fairly confident in BoruSumi even tho alot of ppl have written her off just cuz she doesnt have a hug scene [NH doesnt either anywhere in the manga but NS does] or a reckless attempt at saving the other [according to KK Sarada and Boruto both would've died if not for the other shinobi arriving when they did so she didnt even save him fr so this argument is invalid]

They also downplay her feelings just because shes more reserved and rational than Sarada, which is kinda the point of opposites attracting and balancing eachother out [Minato being the quiet calm level headed one while Kushina is hot headed and loud] whereas Sarada and Boruto are both portrayed as hotheaded rebels apparently, their kinda the same person atp but thats another topic for another day.

Point is KawaSara is up in the air, but BoruSumi shouldnt be counted out yet, lack of screentime and interaction didnt mean jack shit for NaruHina, SaiIno, or ChoKarui, so lets not pretend its the ship killer for BoruSumi.

Lets also not pretend that SS didnt also go through one hell of a rough patch cuz they did, and they still became canon in the end, so again lets not pretend these things are ship killers alright because they aint, the real meat of the story hasnt happened yet, and Kawaki is supposed to be getting more development soon so lets see how that goes and who its with first and judge further from there.

[narrators-journal]

21 & 24 Ryomina? I love how you write them btw <3

Holy SHIT. This bastard was originally going to be sooo much longer, but ended up editing it down because I. Just did not have it in me to write a long, detailed set up without it feeling bloated, at least to me. Regardless, tho! I hope you enjoy this lil ditty, and I hope it’s good and spicy for ya, I had a good amount of fun writing it, and I like the concept, even if I had to dumb it down for my own sanity, and for the sake of not writing another 4-5 page monster. Not when the other asks I have, and any future ask, risks being that long too.

As for this ask, tho, I think in the original draft, before I cut so much of the opening, I kinda accidentally tied this to one of my aus? And that’s pretty amusing lol. It’s not a necessity, u can read it as normal or within the universe of Winter is a Lovely Season for Romance and Funerals. It’s up to you. Also! A little side note that I forgot to clarify in the rules! I will be taking kinktober asks through out the month! The ask box doesn’t close until November 1st!

Kinktober prompt list: Here Kinktober masterlist: Here

CW: Mirror sex, pretty explicitly nonconsensual use of aphrodisiacs. Yeah, this one’s dark. Yandere behavior, implied hostage situation. That should be it this time.

“Look at you, funeral lily.” Ryoji Mochizuki hummed to the beautiful, midnight-haired man in the full body mirror. A soft smile on his face while he watched his arms snake around Minato’s waist to gently sway with him and watch his dull eyes follow his own hips in his reflection. And, of course, to run his palm over the skin of his bare thigh until he could slide it upwards to grope the meat of his ass and feel the smaller man shudder against him. “You’re so beautiful. I really am blessed in a dark way to have you here with me.” He purred with a nip to the wildcard’s offered throat.

Which, Minato let him do with nothing but a low whine stirred up with the embers of lust that Ryoji stoked with each gentle kiss and squeeze. So, it didn’t take long for the brunette’s own lust to warm his skin and pull himself off of the midnight-haired man to go find the portable bottle of lubricant that he kept in his bathroom’s medicine cabinet. Though, he was back to his spot in front of the full body mirror.

Where, he pushed the smaller man forward until he had to support himself against the wall that the mirror was hung on before he dripped thick lube onto his fingers and pressed the pads of his fingers against the wildcard’s hole to earn a low moan. A noise that swiftly found its way down to the god’s erection and was followed by the sweet moan that slipped out when Ryoji slipped his fingers into Minato. “Good boy, Mina. You’re so obedient.” He hummed, one hand kept on the wildcard’s hip to keep him in place while the other prepped him with slow, teasing thrusts. The drugs in Minato’s system a helpful leg up in the slow breakdown of Minato’s usually sleepy expression into a lustful mess of need. Something that Ryoji happily drank in through the reflection of his lover’s body in the mirror. A small boon to the quickly maddening excitement that built up in Ryoji’s belly, but more than enough to make him retract his fingers to instead replace it with his cock. “You’re so gorgeous, Funeral Lily…” Ryoji panted into Minato’s ear while he kept his sapphire eyes locked onto the wildcard’s drug-dulled eyes through his reflection. “If only you adored me half as much as I do you...” He continued, his voice a husky growl that made the wildcard tighten up wonderfully around his length. But, Ryoji knew how shallow that excitement was in contrast to the way the god’s cock twitched and throbbed. As much as the god wanted to think that his lover truly enjoyed when his voice slipped into the more feral depths, he knew that the arousal that glowed in those beautiful storm clouds was fake.

Each gasp and moan wasn’t born from the midnight-haired man’s love of the way Ryoji’s cock slammed into him, or the bite of his nails into the man’s hips. It was from the ecstasy-esque drug that Ryoji put into the wildcard’s orange juice. Which, would’ve been a wound to the brunette’s ego, if the darker parts of the god’s psyche didn’t get some twisted pleasure out of the wildcard’s lack of autonomy.

So, even though the squeeze of Minato’s muscles was utterly thoughtless, every weak whimper of, “Ryoji…” from the dark-haired man’s gasping mouth was still enough to tighten the coil in the tall brunette’s belly. Especially when just enough despair slipped into his words or the reflected expression through the drug’s effects to make the god think that, while not a lot, Minato was still somewhat aware of his touches. Of the stimulation that flooded his body with each wet slap of the god’s hips against his ass.

A thought that made the god moan louder and tighten his grip on the blue-haired man’s hips before he buried his face into the man’s neck as he spoke again. His voice laced with a dark growl as he reiterated. “Mina~ I...I love you so much, funeral lily. So, so much.” despite the painful ache of the tight coil in Ryoji’s belly, more to himself than the eager maid. The vibration of his husky voice over the man’s smooth, pale skin matched with another needy moan from his lover. That same need visible when Ryoji’s sapphire eyes looked back to the mirror to watch as each of his thrusts jostled his lover’s body against the silver-coated glass of the fullbody mirror.

Until, all too quickly for the god’s liking, the blue-haired man’s groggy voice piped back up in a whimper. “M-Mochi...I’m gonna cum…” Ryoji only able to grunt in acknowledgment with how tight the coil in his belly had gotten at that point. Though, the spring refused to come undone inside of the tight warmth of the wildcard’s ass, even when the shorter man’s orgasm raked through his body.

Yet, that didn’t stop Ryoji’s thrusts, or loosen his grip on his lover’s hips. And, when Minato began to squirm from overstimulation, the god simply sped up. With his best attempts to string together coherent comforts to sooth the drugged man’s pained noises. Though, it was hard for the god to tell if his lover really understood him or not through the frustration and need that stacked up against the dam.

Though, beyond the surface level, Ryoji didn’t really care how his thrusts made Minato dig his nails into the mirror’s frame and whine. All he really cared about in that moment was the chase for his own bliss. Until, finally, that dam cracked, and the brunette’s pleasure crashed through to flood him with the blissful heat of release.

A heat that lingered on the god’s skin for a long moment while he admired the bliss-drunk expression in his lover’s reflection, and the heave of his chest. “Alright, now we can bathe.” Ryoji hummed as he pulled out and straightened. A hand ran through his hair as he smiled at the drugged up wildcard, who could only muster a small, “Yaaaay…” as he let the god half herd, and half carry him to the now-cold bath that had been left to patiently wait for them.

[3terna15unshin3]

hi!! would you consider writing a blurb where matty has the rahab conversation with este? like he sits down and really explains what it was like and how be struggles (maybe there’s some tears and este is super supportive and comforting)

love your work sm <3

Hi!!! thank u!!

I must say tho, I have very little knowledge on or personal experience with drug addiction and rehab, so i didn’t really feel comfortable writing anything more in depth just in caution of accidentally portraying it inaccurately or using insensitive language or romanticizing it in any way. since i do think it’s a bit odd and some ppl do cross a line when using his addiction as really intense and triggering angst😬😬😬

only sometimes tho! it can be tastefully done :) and i’m glad u requested it! anyway thank u again here it is hehe

(tbsg series masterlist) ((also please send me more requests i’m desperate))

warnings: mentions of addiction and drug use, angst

To stand it upright, Matty lifted the heavy metal to him and Este’s newest piece of furniture for their bathroom. He had spent the past half hour building the majority of the shelf, with Este passing him any tool or screw he was needing. Now that the contraption was standing, they only had a couple of stray pieces to get attached.

But before he could, his ringtone sounded. Este glanced at his screen and watched it flash ‘Frankie’ across the top. She racked her brain to think of if she’d known such a person, but it didn’t ring a bell.

“Just decline it for me, love.” Matty instructed after reading who was ringing.

She obliged and pressed on the power button to hang it up. “Who’s Frankie? Don’t want to speak to him?” She said jokingly.

He chuckled a bit. “Not that I don’t want to speak with her, maybe just not at the minute. I’ll just call her back later,” His wrist twisted a screwdriver to secure another slat.

“Oh, okay.”

Frankie’s a girl, Este digested. She thought it was a bit bizarre that Matty didn’t answer her first question, but rarely let her contextless thoughts develop into jealousy. Este’s nosy self was more eager to know what the call was about—regardless of who it was from. But she decided to leave it.

He threw her a smile and leaned all the way over to plant a kiss on the skin right in front of her ear. “Mind passing me that last screw?”

Este doesn’t mind, smiling back as blood rushes to the spot where his lips once were, while he silently continued building. When Matty glanced back at her, the shelf now complete, he could read the curiosity on Este’s face. So, he elaborated. And Matty didn’t mind elaborating when he was with her. Since he knew she’d listen.

“And Frankie’s a woman I met in rehab. We’ve kept in touch since so she calls time and again,” Matty explained, “She usually wants to talk something out, since she’s had a bit of a rough journey since treatment. Not a lot of family left. Whether it’s for advice or just for someone alike to listen. But I’m in manly-builder-testosterone mode. Didn’t feel like a good time to answer. Even though she does enjoy sharing what she’s been through and would probably love to meet you. I don’t want to unload all of her shit onto you. For your sake,”

“If her shit’s on you then it can be on me. I don’t mind. Your shit is sort of my shit too,” she said.

They burst into laughter as both of their eyes diverted to the toilet they sat next to, the ironic and gross sounding language making them giggle.

He stood back to admire the shelf that stood beside the sink, raising his hand to chew on the skin around his nails. Once his explanation was finished, his mouth stayed shut and slightly pressed. Eyes darting around the space to make sure everything was in place. Este could see that the topic was making his muscles a bit tense.

“Yeah, it is.” Matty agreed, still laughing at the poo jokes. The two of them started to transfer the various body and skin care products from the draws below the sink onto the freshly built shelf; in comfortable silence.

“I guess I haven’t really told you much about my recovery, have I? Rehab, and everything,”

“No, not really.” She shrugged, not wanting to pry.

Eventually the sink didn’t look crowded anymore, and the supplies that usually sat messily were organised. Having only recently moved in together, it was an obstacle to have to balance their belongings in the same space. So, Este sunk down to sit on the floor and lean against the wall to rest in satisfaction. They’d made good progress.

He copied her and they sat hip to hip.

“I spent most of the treatment I did in Barbados alone, believe it or not. There were plenty of nurses and doctors, but I was pretty isolated. That was until I met Frankie.” Matty tucked his knees under his chin. “I think meeting her was the first time I met anyone just as a human—no self expression, no signs of culture, no pre-conceived expectations, no representation of status. There was this insane level of purity within our connection. We were just two broken people,”

Este’s eyes didn’t leave his as he continued on. She listened intently and thoughtfully.

“But we were from the same road,” he revealed. “Not even just the same city, or town. The same road. Minutes of walking between where we grew up. And finding that out felt super emotional,”

His fingers fidgeted nervously, opening himself up more and more as he spoke. Matty found comfort in Este’s presence, though, and sought the feeling of her hand on the back of his neck or the in and out of her breath against his skin.

“Wow,” she whispered briefly, wanting him to continue. Este was fairly close, so the breath he craved grazed him ever so slightly as she spoke. It calmed him down.

“Since we’d been on the road for so long, and I obviously was having trouble coping with it, things had been so loud. Constantly. But I think the equine therapy, and meeting Frankie—it was the first time in ages things were quiet. And I really drank it in,”

She ran her hand up and down the front of his leg lovingly. “I’m so happy that you’re on the other side of that now. And that you had access to treatment that worked for you. That’s the hardest part sometimes,”

Matty nodded.

“The horses did do something, that’s for sure,” They chuckled together, “When we retire in like 40 years and move out to the countryside maybe we should get a couple. I’m a whisperer or sorts now, I think.” he suggested.

Este leaned her head down onto his shoulder, internally cooing at the mental image of the two of them growing old together. Maybe somewhere rural up north—near Manchester, to be close to family. She’d have a greenhouse and maybe grow fruits and veggies during the summer for them to eat. A couple of horses, like Matty suggested. Este had never met a horse in person, but she was sure she’d like them if he did.

“That sounds like a plan.”

He pressed his lips delicately to her forehead, dreaming of the same things that floated round in her mind. They lounged in silence—still sitting on the floor across from the sink and toilet.

“You know,” Matty started again, “I still have this dude’s number in my phone. He was my dealer here in London for a bit. I ran to him when I scored for the last time,”

There was a pained expression on his face, like he had to work through his own disdain for that time in his life before admitting it aloud. It shocked Este, realising that speaking about his addiction could be so heavy; since he was usually so open and honest about it to anyone who was curious. But this was different, as Matty dug to the parts of himself that he had learned to keep personal. He didn’t have to think twice about letting Este see them, though.

“It was early 2019. I’d been clean since rehab—and at this point I’ve honestly forgotten what brought me to the point of relapsing. But what I do remember is the morning after. I saw my mum and Louis. And it just broke me,” His sentences had long pauses between them and his voice broke over and over. The sound of it sent a pang through Este’s heart, the two of them immediately nuzzling closer into each other’s comfort. “The guilt was all-consuming. I was so ashamed knowing that I was hugging my little brother still strung out from the night before. Smiling at him while lying about being clean,”

Matty dropped his head into her lap, slow salty tears trickling onto her bare thighs. She wiped them away, hands lingering on his face since she knew he liked them there.

“Oh, Matty,” A lump formed in her throat but she swallowed it down. She spoke gently. “Can I ask why you still have his number?”

He thought about it for a second. “It’s sort of a reminder, I guess. That I have the power now. That if I wanted to call, I could. But I don’t want to anymore.”

Matty’s eyes looked up towards Este and they shared a bittersweet smile. He laid his hand on top of hers that still sat cupping his cheek, lifting it to plant a kiss on her palm and quickly setting it back.

“And I know that if I ever wanted to—even a little bit—that I’d have you there. To tell in a heartbeat. And the boys, and my family. We’d do anything we’d need to do. Together.”

And with their bottoms against the cold concrete, Matty picked up his phone to call Frankie back, fearlessly pressing the speakerphone button. Este interlaced her fingers with his, waiting for her to pick up, and their chests rose and fell in sync.

[el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle]

Hellooooo ❤️

I love your blog a lot, you're so insightful and it's like an oasis in the desert of media literacy in the YSBLF fandom, lol.

Wanted to ask, what do you think would've happened if Don Hermes found out about the Sinister Plan? I think that regardless of the point in the story he would probably be unable to forgive Armando for it and might be the biggest deterrent for Betty to be with/accept Armando back, but I wanted to know what you think and what possibilities you see!

Hiiii! Thank youuuu!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Oh, I love this question!!! It has multiple answers depending on when he finds out and how. that would have definitely been a big stone! Big enough to have been the plot of a sequel or of a whole other part of ysblf (that ik couldn't be, but it had the potential), or, simply, ending it all on tragedy.

I'll go for him finding out after Cartagena and through Armando. My first idea was him finding during Cartagena and through her diary, becaus I think the novela mainly nodded to that (given how he eyed the diary when Betty was leaving and how foña Julia mentioned he might try to read it), but after thinking it through, I think that if don Hermes had read through Betty's perspective how it all went down, how it shattered her, how it's not the first time a man manipulated her like this, and how she thinks her life is nothing but a "cycle of tragedy", he wouldn't have let her go back to Ecomoda at all. His protection style is avoiding the thing that can hurt her, like how he isolated her from the kids who mistreated her as a kid and how he didn't want to let her go to that "date" with Roman's friend. And it all would have ended right there, with Ecomoda back in th Mendozas/Valencias' hands for a microsecond before being eaten alive by the debts, lenders, and banks.

So instead I think the only way it could have worked and the relationship between A&B would have still happened would have been if he had known it all after the relationship started. Otherwise, he wouldn't have let Armando get anywhere near Betty. Probably Betty wouldn't even be allowed to go back to Ecomoda! The novela made a big point of Don Hermes not finding out under any circumstance.

I'm sure no one would tell him the truth, so I think he would have needed to find out on his own. Maybe he heard a rumor, or maybe he found something like the diary or a copy of the letter

Point is, he learns the truth, ans immediately his half-hearted tolerance of the relationship becomes full on disapproval

He already knows a few things that I'm honestly baffled about him just forgetting and approving of so quickly: that Betty was Armando's mistress and that they did semi ilegal business together

Add on top of that that Armando used Betty like that, and don Hermes definitely would have absolutely disapproved

He'd likely ban Armando from his house, and would make it extremely clear to Betty that he disapproves of Armando and doesn't want to see them together

Doña Julia would try to talk him out of that, but it wouldn't work.

Knowing don Hermes, he probably wouldn't even tell her why he hates Armando

Honestly, I think Nicolás would have been on his side

Personally, I think everyone by the end of the novela accepted the relationship simply because there was no more time, but if there had been, a whole new part of the novela could have been handling these types of issues

I definitely think Nicolás, don Hermes, and doña Margarita wouldn't have approved. Roberto would have likely continued nof being too present.

So I think the pressure of having almost no support from the people that they cared the most would have hurt a lot

Doña Julia may approve, tho

Nicolás would disapprove but be like "do whatever you want but I think this is wrong" ans would treat Armando coldly whenever they saw each other at Ecomoda

In the novela Armando basically implies that his dates with Betty were mainly at her house, so I'm guessing in this case they'd likely be mainly sneaking around in the office

Not that the relationship is a secret, but rather they would just keep it pretty lowkey

It would bring them down a lot, because for them it's important to have their parents' support

But by the time the engagement comes, Armando is sort of okay with knowing his dad is basically out of his life and his mom is very reluctantly in it

Margarita is not only angry about what happened with Marcela, but she's also angry about how quickly he went to Betty. ((With her too I think her quick acceptance of her was mainly due to lack of time))

Eventually don Hermes would have to tolerate Armando, but they would never form a good relationship

In general, as long as don Hermes finds out AFTER they are together, I don't think much bad would happen! I think Armando and Betty were ready and willing to fight for the other by that point. But if it were to happen during Cartagena or immediately after??? Or if he finds out through her diary??? Hell no, all hell would break loose! Don Hermes would get his gun and threaten Armando at gunpoint to never get near Betty again. He would forbid Betty from going back to Ecomoda. If Armando tried to go again to the house he'd be kicked out.

It's a lot of different possibilities depending on when he finds out!

Thank you for the ask🥰🥰 i'm glad you are enjoying my blog🥰🥰

[mayakern]

i'm so excited to see the concept art for the sweaters!! they look so cute! i know as a chubby girl i often have trouble fitting into sweaters because my forearms are too thick, so im curious to see how the sizes will work in regards to that. i also wanted to just say thank you for continuing to make plus size clothing! it seems like the smaller sizes tend to sell out quicker, and i'm sure alot of other companies would use that as a reason to stop carrying plus sizes. but you never do that, and i just wanted you to know how thankful i am for that. your designs are some of the only clothes that make me feel happy with my body, and i'm sure many others feel the same. so thank you, i really appreciate the work you and your team do, i look forward to supporting your business even more~

thank you! this is really sweet 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

we’re doing our best to grade the sweaters in a way that will properly fit as many bodies as we can. this doesn’t mean we can give a perfect fit to everyone (you’d have to get custom tailoring for that) but we are doing our best using the sizing data we collected from y’all as well as our own personal experience.

i think part of why the smallest sizes sold out so quickly this time is due to the new sizing. unfortunately the A and B sizes ran larger than we had hoped so we have reworked the sizing somewhat for future skirt batches. in particular, the A size will give a better fit to folks in the XS and S sizes and will essentially serve as our “straight size” selection. the reworked sizing will also have less overlap between sizes, because it was a bit excessive. i think after these changes, we may see more sales in the B and C sizes but i’m not 100%.

regardless, we always expected the D size to move slowly, in a major part because we just do not have a D size model on our crew and haven’t had the time/means to look into finding/hiring one. right now it’s just me and ariel modeling and she’s an XL on top and a 3X on bottom and i’m a 2-3X in general. and even tho compared to most companies, esp indie brands, that is more fat rep/size inclusivity than often shown, it doesn’t account for the 4-8X that the D size can fit. people need to see themselves represented to have trust that a garment will fit them and so far we just can’t provide that due to lack of resources. i’m hoping to change this someday tho.

[mimic-from-the-lab]

On N being as much of a killer as the other two

Likely that all three were put under a similar operating system. Same bases for them, I doubt they are on a pure worker os but something modified if not a new disassembler os. Which I assume controls the need for eldritch forms passively rather than Cyn doing it herself, I mean what would she do if multiple of them died at once. As well as their ability to regen, passive as well. I would guess that the programs are giving her updates but she doesn't control all that continuously.

Regardless, running on the same os doesn't mean same "ability" to hunt and kill. They just have the tools.

Now I hardly think N is purely innocent but it is weird he doesn’t truly have his own hunting thing. Even with that, we haven't seen him hunt and the closest we got was in the first ep and murdering. I guess you can say

He is actually quiet when "hunting", he doesn’t laugh till he gets to the bunker when he has J and V following after him to it. The laugh as V does with J's "slow" walking thing.

I have an idea that since he exhibits both laughing and slow starts to attack. (knowing how J fights would be great to compare this better and see whats different with her.) It could be a case of mimicry, he has seen how the other two do things and mixed the two. Though, he does have one thing. Use of his tail, and it was the first thing he uses. It's not a faster kill in comparison with simply lopping off a head, no idea how J uses it but V uses it last. But he does seem to use it more than the other two, even tho he says he doesn't always have control over it.

The idea of the resets is high in my mind, if he never formed his own style because he is reset so often that he hasn't really had the time to. 

Granted as we have gone on he has used a bigger range of weapons, from making new stuff like the ninja stars to using the basic blades. V has kept to the basics.

It would be nice if something was said about it all between the characters but alas. 

As it stands now something has always been off about him being a killer. It's easy for people to baby him when it hasn't been shown what he can actually do or willing to do. Doubt there would be many other chances for mass murder anymore, any fights will be with a limited number of people. A fix could be showing him need to hunt again, if anything changes to how he does things.

So I would like to see him and V do so again, either because they need to now with Uzi cause they all three will need oil after the stores dry out.

Uzi would be so easy to help in a hunt. Feel like she would be able to twist around mentally for it for the others rather than herself, with V and N both being able to understand at least a bit to how it can affect her.

I would love for V to be more of a support with that rather than N. Since he just knows they have always hunted but V remembers the before they were disassembly drones. How V had to come to terms with it and help Uzi the same way.

I need them to hunt, need it for it to set in stone some facts for N. If he would be able to, if not for himself then the other two. But also because it's not possible for them to continue without being able to.

The idea that he can't because he is friends with Uzi is far too weak of a reason now and he needs a push for his character.

[daz4i]

slight rant abt politics. i need to stop reading facebook comments :/

like my country's politicians are basically comically evil. genuinely cartoon level stuff. anyone with a working brain can see that

which is why it's so insane to see people continue to support them regardless. defend their actions. not even talking abt the war crimes - ppl will find ways to justify those regardless - but like. "they spend tax money to go on vacation multiple times a year while the country is in a war, millions of people are out of their homes, entire cities were destroyed, people here die from rockets or shootings every day, there are still hostages in gaza (including like. toddlers) and the more we wait the less likely it is that they're still alive" etc etc etc and ppl still defend them for this. ppl still go "the left is at fault here" even tho there aren't really any leftists in a position of power in the actual government, and atp most ppl who protest against the prime minister aren't even leftists bc he and his appointed ministers have managed to piss off even right wingers with the amount of shit they do

AND YET. ppl still refer to him as "king" and oh boy do they mean it literally. they think he genuinely deserves all of this and we should leave him alone. and this. this i can't process. i don't understand how one can see any of what's happening, even be directly affected by it, and still support him. when it is known that he, if not directly contributed to this happening, at least allowed it to keep going for over a year now.

like i can't believe a real person would genuinely think this way. ik some surely have to be bots but not all. and the fact of the matter is he still got elected after all, so there are enough people here who support him. and that's so scary

not to mention, even ppl who do get mad at him for shit he does and the people he employs, seem to have very short term memory bc it's enough that he leads to one (1) good thing happening - hell, even giving just one (1) good speech - and they forgive him and think he's a good choice for prime minister.

it's hard not to feel constant despair when seeing this ngl. like the politicians alone are so upsetting. but knowing that they have supporters and might even win another election cycle (bc leftists here are also stupid as hell and let their despair lead them into a "what's the point of voting if we lose anyway" mindset 😭😭😭😭) is even more so. especially because. during the war you could see how good people here are. how willing they are to help. politicians may even denounce the organizations that help this happen. which is why it's scary to remember that a lot of people AREN'T really into the whole helping thing. and that they fall for the government's manipulation that tries to convince them that everyone else is at fault

dude it's just so depressing to live here. for so many reasons. and they surely are a big one of those

[golbrocklovely]

Sam had a vacation with his dad. That is actually so sweet and a very healthy way to take a break from everything tbh. It would be unhealthy if he would look for support in another girl, already trying to get himself into another relationship. I am glad that instead of that, he decided to spent some time with his own dad, i hope that maybe during that trip he learnt something new and will no longer try to get into relationships, just because he doesn’t like to stay single, because it’s not healthy for him and it’s not fair to the possible future gf.

Imo Sam needs some serious therapy and instead of constantly trying to understand the meaning of life, he should start with understanding himself. It’s cool to want to have meaningful conversations, I personally love to have them with other people, but truth be told you won’t understand life, until you won’t understand yourself. You will continue to be lost in this world, constantly seeking for answers.

I believe Sam is a good guy with a good heart, but he is very very lost and i think he handles fame possibly even worse than Colby does, which makes him even more lost.

i'm happy that sam went on vacay with his dad instead of a girl, too. i figured he probably went with family or by himself, but it was nice to see he wasn't completely alone.

and i agree with you. i think he really needs to spend some time alone and try not to jump into another relationship for a while. he needs to better understand himself and to feel comfortable being alone. i think that's his main issue: he doesn't like being alone bc that requires being alone with his thoughts and himself. and i think, in a way, he doesn't know how to be alone. and that's something he should really work on. bc once you become comfortable with yourself (or as much as you can be) everything else falls into place a lot easier for you.

therapy would also help a lot. and i know he did some after his break up with kat, but idk if he kept at it. i also highly doubt he did.

and i think he's a good person too. i think he's just lost, and that can cause him to do things that aren't the best choice. interestingly tho, i don't think he's lost bc of fame, or that fame is not helping him in that department, if that makes sense. i think colby handles it worse bc the comments clearly get to him a lot more than it does sam. colby also gets more hate imo. but regardless of all of that, i hope both of them take some time to really better understand themselves.

[chocolate-failure]

I just feel so utterly drained. So devoid of everything. Just fucking horrible. It feels like everything I do is consuming the last bit of energy I have and then I have to do shit for dig. Like God I fucking hate it here. It's this house. I had it labeled has Home on Google maps but it's literally hell.

I've been living here for 10 mfkn years getting sicker by the day and at some point it's not worth my well being... well at some point it wasn't and I don't know if this shit is permanent but being here is hurting me. I remember telling dig like maybe 7 years ago that I was gonna move out and it was seen as an entire rejection of our relationship and him. Like no you ignorant bitch this place is killing me and I knew it better back then. I had so much more clarity but far less money and I felt like I needed to always placate dig. I mean I still do. He is an infant. But now we're moving towards getting out of here. It only took a decade. And now I can figure out if I hate my life because I'm not living a life I feel belongs to me in a place that fosters my well being or if I'm not living a life that belongs to me with a person who fosters my well being. I gave the sinking feeling it's both but I feel I owe it to him to give him the chance to fuck up our new life together. Cuz it honestly feels like it hasn't started yet.

I think regardless I'll feel better because this house is a fucking hazard. It should be condemned and I kinda want to do an air quality test here just to get an idea of how many carcinogens I'm being exposed to on a daily basis.

After my mom's birthday we took a trip to Buffalo NY (where she's from) and I was really not looking forward to it. I really dislike Buffalo and my mom and her sister ate both overbearing and annoying in ways that not just stress me out but are weirdly triggering. Like we had been there for maybe 10 minutes and my aunt notices my nose ring and says it's not straight and I try to downplay it cuz if I explain why it's crooked I have to explain that it's a taper. But like she won't stfu about it after I try to shut it down twice I just say it's a taper and I'm gauging my septum. My mom starts fucking crying cuz she's found she can manipulate me that way. But bitch I'm fucking 34 can we pls stop acting like you gaf about my wellbeing and just want to continue controlling me?? Like Jesus. So yeah, that was within the first hour of being there so I wasn't confident nor excited for my time there.

And my time there was for the most part pretty uneventful but not entirely uncomfortable. I got to take my super mfkn hot baths which kept my weight down and honestly that's all that matters to me in any given situation. As long as I can starve myself and purge adequately I'm pretty happy. Nevermind I spent much of my time on a couch sitting next to my veggie uncle watching incredibly shitty shows only a boomer could enjoy. He was such a horrible person before the dementia and I'm hard pressed to think that changed him for the better... tho him not talking is definitely an improvement.

Man I'm miserable.

So yeah Buffalo wasn't the worst thing ever. I did spend a fair amount of time around my mom and aunt and realized how absolutely fucking autistic every women on that side of my family is like goddamn. They're all so goddamn weird and not necessarily in a bad way but there are so many things you have to navigate and tiptoe around to keep them happy. And being round that made me feel kinda mfkn bad about myself. Like I know I'm not a person that people feel they need to bend over backwards to make comfortable but it is at the expense of a lot of my own comfort. I think it's a little of the low support need/high masking in me and because I don't particularly care for people I often hit the "why tf am I doing this" wall. I could easily drop this shit, support myself in the ways I need instead of being mentally and emotionally drained by people who always put themselves before me or don't even consider my needs. I could do this by myself. I would be happier by myself. Why am I not by myself?

Idk.

I mean I do but I don't want to think about it.

After Buffalo I went to the city to see Ichigo. It's been a mfkn minute but I love that nigga and I don't think I could ever not have him in my life even though we're so incredibly introverted and low energy we could spend years not talking. Man I love that dude. But yeah, I stayed at his place from the 22nd to the 28th and it was goddamn magical. We went to Providence Park a couple times which was really mfkn dope, ends up he loves nature just as much as me 😭

His partner is a she/they not sure of their gender identity but holy hell can she fuck up some beans and rice. Like goddamn. That first day she made some beans and rice with chickpeas and avocado and istfg I ate and was happy to. I didn't eat a lot but that's the kind of eating that makes me happiest. And they didn't super push me to eat which was really nice. I legit could eat those rice and beans every day, they were so good 🤤 The next morning ichigo made eggs Benedict which was fuckin amazing. I've never poached an egg but now I gotta learn 👀

Their dog is a lil ball of nerves but she did sleep with me on the last few days when everybody had left. Ichigo works with highschoolers and hmmm... I don't have a name for his partner but hm... I really like her, they're super chill and easy to talk to and have a really nice smile... maybeeeee.... yeah no idk.. but I like them. She's a lawyer that works with equality litigation and making sure ppl have access to resources. But erm, I was on my own for Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday which I very much enjoyed far more than I expected. I took the bus to the gym everyday and it was absolutely wonderful. I got so much done and felt so mfkn accomplished. I def lost like 5lbs on my trip. I think I came back at 164~ I gained it all back cuz this place stresses me out but for a shining moment I felt good about myself and my progress and that means a lot to me. It shows me it's possible. It shows me it's not me.

Shitty cuddle interlude~

Dig was upset with me earlier today cuz I said him taking a nap was welcomed because I'm having a rough day. He took it as me not wanting to be around him at all and decided he just would avoid me. He could have just asked me if I wanted to have a chill day but sends me discord messages, I've literally told him I don't always get the notifs and social media messaging has become incredibly stressful for me. But yeah, he assumes I'm super upset with him and I need to be treated like I'll bite his head off if he so much as looks at me. I feel like I'm being gaslit into believing I'm both a bad person and my need for recharge is too much. I didn't say as much but I made it known I wasn't meaning to make him feel a burden and that I'm not a bad person for feeling drained by him and needing a rest. I tried not reveal anything negative I was feeling while setting a clear boundary. I took my bath and he was still outside from when he retreated thinking I was mad. He's outside enjoying the rain. It was a good rain. I go down and he's not doing well. But it's always up to me to put aside how I'm feeling to coddle him so I asked if he was okay with company. I sat with him in silence for a while and think to myself, he definitely wants me yo cuddle him but is that what I want to do. No, no it is not. What will it do for me? Prob be uncomfortable and a lil draining but he won't be a melancholy buzzkill in the coming week which is even more draineding cuz he will repeatedly imply it's my fault. In the long run this momentary discomfort will allow me to avoid future discomfort and future me deserves better. So I ask him if he would like to cuddle, something he's not too good at doing so maybe modeling asking for consent will help him to do it himself. So I cuddle with him and it feels like nothing. But worse than nothing cuz it's something I'm doing completely out of obligation. There is no joy or contentment or even comfort... and why do I have to be the person to ask for shit I don't even want? This is tiring.

[farlynthordens]

V9 post-reading thoughts

i enjoyed the book a lot. i was all for seeing bisco's wholesome and happy family life as well as red's absolutely soul-crushing and lonely existence. when i started reading, I was surprised that bisco and red get along so soon since i was expecting her to play an antagonizing role for most of it (and possibly try to do things like steal milo away). the cover and pre-release advertising kinda gave that vibe lol

it started off great then fell off for me at certain points in the middle, but then the ending saved it. we also yet again had a last minute plot twist/reveal of the true villain.

n'badu's identity was probably the most confusing part of the whole book and i did have to double back to make sure i understood what was going on. if he's the manifestation of bad timelines, is he a god of spacetime who can consequently only create negative events? it seems that way from when you look back on what n'badu had done throughout the book and what he threatens to do at the ending.

i thought this was going to be the end of the series, so as i got closer to finishing i was very confused how this was going to wrap up. i was pleasantly surprised that there's still going to be one more book. red's character arc is more or less resolved, but she obviously has multiple stakes in the new issues that have arisen so i hope she still plays a notable role in v10. i'm worried there's a good chance red will disappear for good when they inevitably defeat n'badu (see meta section).

i wrote down a couple of gripes/critiques prior to reading the final chapter, but many were resolved by the fact that there will be a continuation + the things cobkubo mentions in the afterword. ex:

i was sad that bisco/milo had zero scenes of just the 2 of them since those were generally the highlight of every other book. however, 9 essentially made red the protagonist and bisco/milo were more there to be HER support rather than the other way around like what we've seen in every other book. cobkubo mentions tho that v10 will be more about bisco and milo's bonds.

we never concluded what happened with milo and he's still stuck in another timeline, so that's yet to be resolved. as well as... like.. you know, everything else... I'm still sad that he wasn't there for the final battle tho.

Meta stuff

Early on we learn that red has never used the choushin bow, but its wish granting power was what I had thought to be the main thing that caused sugar's birth and why she turned out as a literal god, since sugar's powers are the highest form of the choushin ability. So in red's universe, sugar turned out as a normal baby bc red and blue never had that ability. Never being able to use the choushin bow ties into what red realizes at the climax, which is that she never truly believed in [loved] herself. She only fought and kept going bc she thought that's what everyone expected of her. She thought of everyone's love for her as obligations she could never fulfill, rather than seeing that everyone just loved her for herself and wanted the best for her regardless of what that meant in the end.

Because of this, red put the weight of the world on her shoulders and wouldn't accept losing or running away from what she thought was "her destiny". But she failed to save her universe at every opportunity she could have technically had, bc she didn't trust in herself or she doubted the love of those around her (like when she chooses to not kill blue). the timeline could have been saved had she gained the choushin bow, realized her true powers (and thus removed her achille's heel of the souls's power burning her when she used it), and/or if sugar was born as a god, etc.

when we learn at the end that red's timeline was just a copied reality and that she, everyone she knew, and everything she ever experienced were "fake"... my question was then "WAS it really all fake?" n'badu doesn't explain why he made the dark timeline, but i felt the implication was just that it satisfied his own desires of seeing 'bisco' suffer, since that was never able to manifest in the main timeline.

even if red's reality wasn't meant to exist, i don't think that makes her or her experiences any less real than bisco's. she is still a living, tangible being. and as we saw towards the beginning when n'badu tried to overwrite the main timeline, bisco too had begun disappearing in a similar way to how red did when she attacked n'badu. if all timelines are subject to be rewritten like that, then i don't see why one would be lesser than the other.

HOWEVER. framing red in this way makes me worried that she is going to disappear. i expect that in v10 she'll be around as a deuteragonist to bismilo, but in the end they're going to defeat n'badu and cause her to stop existing. it would be a very bittersweet ending, since bisco had invited her to be part of his family. another bit of evidence for this is the v8 epilogue... where in which red of course doesn't show up (cobkubo had not even thought of her character yet at that point).

there is a possibility tho for v10 to end well for red. since the antagonists are gods who can rewrite spacetime, sugar (freed from n'badu's control) may be able to completely remake red's timeline herself and allow her to live happily without rust/n'badu's existence.

re: the "do you love yourself?" bit from cobkubo's afterword:

milo is very confident in himself, bisco is unsure. i think this is exemplified by the parallel scenes of them trying to summon their special bows with only their own power. milo is able to summon it because he is extremely self-assured in who he is and what he believes he can do (thanks to bisco always believing in him/learning from bisco that he is a capable mushroom keeper). HOWEVER, this sometimes leads to moments of over-confidence that rebound negatively on him in some way. summoning the mantra bow completely exhausted him and put him in potential danger because he didn't have someone to share the burden of it with.

bisco was not able to summon the choushin bow at all because he needed someone else there to believe in him. he even specifically says "I can't do it without milo" because milo is the only person he's used that bow with/knows milo is the one who believes in him most of all. having red - functionally, himself - be there and say she believed in him opened up a new path to strength. it showed what he could do if he simply had the heart to believe in his own self.

Final thoughts

my initial impression upon finishing the book is that it probably ranks somewhere in the middle of my overall favorite volumes (maybe between v6 and 8?). i definitely enjoyed reading it a lot, the events felt more coherent than 8, and it surpassed my expectations in multiple ways. i'll prob have a more solid placement once i think on it for a bit longer.

positive/high points:

I think v9 has one of the strongest openings of any volume. the first 4~5 chapters were really good. I think the middle was a bit weak at times, but then the final battle saves it.

Has a pretty big cast of characters, both new ones and old ones who are brought back, but it was handled well and it didn't feel confusing. i think my summary probably made it seem more confusing

Red was overall a good and very enjoyable character. I liked getting to see/learn her backstory in pieces, because each new bit of info is a new sadness gut punch. she's also badass in the final battle.

I thought rust was a good antagonist. you could say there's not much dimension to him since he's just a ruthless and (literal) robotic murder machine who loves to see people suffer. but i like it. the whole point of red's dark timeline is that everything has gone to shit and is as terrible as could be, so rust matches that mood pretty well. not every villain has to be DeepTM

Continued the themes seen in 7 and 8 well, such as the idea that you should feel free to live your life the way YOU want and not feel burdened by others' expectations.

From re-reading thru the summary post and thinking back on the events, i felt like there were a couple hints to n'badu being the Real Bad Guy sprinkled throughout the book that i didn't notice during my initial read. in hindsight, this was not a complete surprise like the v5 ending's kurokawa reveal for example.

negative/low points:

I really disliked having bisco nerfed for most of the book by being turned into a kinoko. I feel like this detracted from the emotional impact of the conversations he and red have during this time. there surely could have been ways to showcase red's character than by eliminating bisco's usefulness to the plot for anything other than talking.

Related to above, while in kinoko form bisco often felt uncharacteristically goofy.

N'badu's speech pattern is annoying

Bisco self-cest hint at the end???? red isn't cool being kissed by milo but kissing her alternate reality self is just fine. it isn't cheating if it's with yourself.... i guess.......

other things of note:

This vol brings back citymaker, lifemaker, AND mantras with lots of new skills showcased for each one. i wouldn't say it was confusing, just maybe excessive.

We get a new tidbit of jabi lore

Domino comes back and gets to have a scene where she fights and is very cool. it was also fun learning her personality a little more since we don't really get to in 3

Salt is mentioned a couple times but literally does nothing the entire volume. i know he's just a normal kid in a story full of god-like powers, but they didn't even give him a single spoken line

[mhateesyoux]

Only friends Ep 8

Thoughts were all over the place…

Let’s dive in, before I go on these are MY opinions. You’re welcome to come for me or not lol that’s up to you. I simply write my personal thoughts during and after watching the episodes.

I want to start with the mess that is Raymew, but before I hit up on that, cheum baby, let’s talk about you shall we?

Up until this episode I’ve been riding with cheum. I love her, this episode however, I started feeling some type of way towards her. She’s still a very likable character don’t get me wrong but in this specific episode I was not on board with her though i get her pov. that’s the beauty of writing. I feel as though p’jojo had her be the one to go off on ray to let us know that she’s the one who can bring and probably keeps them all together as a friend group. But we might dig into that later. I just personally felt the attack on Ray, after so many times he’s fucked up. Like I said I get her. I see why she’s frustrated, Ray is a mess and that boy needs help, but where will he find it or heal if he gets it from no one? Not his parents, for obvious reasons we already know, not from his friends, we saw it from Mew but only for a brief time and the love Ray has for Mew maybe affected the way Mew cares for Ray now. I’m not defending Ray at all. He’s making endless mistakes and I’m honestly getting so annoyed at him but that’s how unstable people realistically act. They can’t accept or receive help even when it’s given, i.e Sand in Ray’s case. I just thought the both times she blamed Ray for Mew, a grown ass man who’s capable of making his own decisions, for the bad boy choices. I felt like she just wanted to blame Ray due to his obvious constant behavior but Mew is choosing to deal with his pain this way, and again; realistically some people do cope with pain in that way, we see it in Ray all the time. She needs to pull Mew aside and talk to him about why he’s acting out.

Now RayMew. Mew was chill for me but up to this point he’s been making decisions that irk the shit out of me. Like i mentioned in last week’s post, he was getting on my nerves with the way he was acting over Top but I was shut up which I really liked! But this episode i was back to disliking this new version of Mew. It’s good that he’s giving Top the cold shoulder that’s what I support but what I don’t like is that he’s using Ray in this messy ass revenge he’s got going on. Again, not defending Ray cause I know damn well he knows he’s being used. He knows Mew is hurting and is using him as a rebound. I don’t think it’s okay to use anyone in any matter the way Mew is using Ray. For the story, it makes sense and I guess the choices they’re making in the writers room will eventually make sense as we continue watching but for right now I stand by my feelings towards Mew & I don’t like him at all. There’s something very fishy about him. I feel he makes himself seem like this sweet innocent kid but in reality he’s as evil & toxic as his friends. Maybe he’ll grow on me later? Idk I liked him last episode this episode, not so much.

Top & Boston. I’ll do these two in one. Okay, Top is shining now. He’s trying. However, i still don’t feel anything towards his character. The love he has for Mew is clear now, I guess he really is serious about him. It was nice to see him being caring towards him but I’m still eh. Boston on the other hand, im warming up to. He’s funny. He is probably the only character besides Sand that is so real & gives no fucks. He literally is so chill and unbothered by everything. He made me laugh so much this episode and I’m starting to love him cause he never fakes who he is. Boston is Boston and I’m loving him for being himself regardless of anything.

Nick, he really is so lost. My boy is just obsessed. It’s sad in my opinion. I still like him for some reason and I think that reason is because Mark is too adorable to hate. I don’t condone his stalker ass tho lol from the start I’ve said he’s creepy for have gone after Boston the way he did but hey it worked for him. I just want him to move on, tho it’s clear he’s very much in love with Boston and maybe Boston is feeling something towards him as well? I gotta admit that scene of him at the bar was super cute. But they’ll be toxic together given Nick’s spying kink and Boston’s “I can’t stick to just one person” but there’s potential I guess.

I’m very biased I know, Sandray….

Ugh, what to say? Ray is an idiot. Like I said he’s getting on my last nerve. Not only is he all kinds of fucked up but to have the audacity to cock block Sand from moving on is actually gross. The satisfaction I felt when Sand told him he wasn’t his second option and shoved his ass onto that couch?! Ughhh love! I fucking clapped and cheered. That’s what I need from Sand. As much as I love FirstKhao, Sandray is not my go to no more. Sand deserves so much better but he ain’t safe either i have shit for him too! Not him running back to Ray next episode! Face palm! Sand cmon man you’re stronger than that!! I will admit Sand is my favorite character, as if I haven’t mentioned that previously lol but yes I will stick up for him but this episode him going to safe Ray’s ass yet again got screaming at my screen “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!” And next week’s episode put the cherry on top to my disappointment lol however, despite that whole party interaction, That sandray scene at the very beginning of the episode is also my favorite sandray scene thus far. The smoothness and calmness of it ? Beautiful. First & Khao are so talented. I felt Sand’s pain and First’s pain for sand. I also felt Ray’s disappointment to Sand learning to let him go. The writing in that scene is what i hope to write in the future as a screenwriter. These situations are what inspires me. Big props to P’Jojo for that beautiful scene and the crew for beautifully transferring it on screen.

Little note: sandnick’s friendship needs protection at all costs!

Next week’s promo: im ready for that daddy Dan & Nick dynamic… oh lord! But… Dan seems kind of sus ngl. Boston… back to making bad decisions but that’s what makes him Boston and i can no longer hate him for it lol Top forcing himself back into Mew’s life, yikes. Sandray get away? It’ll end in pain again, i already know it. I’m not getting my hopes up at all fuck that. They can give us hopes and then they just take it away. I also feel it won’t be real? I have a sense that it’s more of a dream sequence? But maybe not. Idk it seems too good to be true, but at least we get the “now that you walked into my life, I’m not letting you go” scene!!! That song they used for them: broke back mountain reference for sure you can’t tell me otherwise. I’m very anxious for next week & i have zero patience.

[theangryjikooker]

i don’t want you to feel bad but i feel like some of your anons are the worst i’ve seen and i follow a ton of jikook centric blogs. insecure anons, tkkr in disguise anons, those types. there’s something about your anons tho & i can’t put my finger on it. it’s sometimes hard to read through because it makes me even frustrated for you.

Let’s be frustrated together. 🙌🏻

Kidding. I don’t feel bad, per se, it’s just intensely irritating at times.

I don’t know what kind of anons others get, but much of the frustration I experience from the anons in question is because I don’t know if they’re being willfully ignorant and latching on to things I’ve said that makes them instinctively react… or if they’re just that dumb. I could explain myself repeatedly, in different ways, and they all tend to double down regardless.

I said this to someone in one of my replies, and I realized how eerily accurate the feeling is, but the way they continually argue with me, how they argue with me, and ignore what I’m actually saying reminds me a bit like trying to have a discussion with Trump supporters. It’s impossible, and they will likely drive you to madness in the process because they’re forcibly arguing with you in a circle.

I said this a long time ago in the earlier days of this blog: toxic Jkkrs are smart. Where toxic Tkkrs are complete nut jobs and can easily be ignored as a result, toxic Jkkrs have a knack for making you feel like you’re crazy. And the more insidious ones will engage in the practice of sea lioning (it’s weirdly fascinating and surreal if you notice it while on the receiving end).

Disclaimer: Toxic shippers are a different breed and don’t represent the shipper community as a whole.