#ill go rest this weekend
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CW : Gore, MCD, artistic nudity
My dear Johnny... at least return my heart before you go for good.
It's not fair that I wasn't there to witness your last breath.
What was in your mind as you closed your eyes for the last time?
Because I know you'll be mine before I laid to rest.
I'll see you soon.
Love, Ace
#fun fact of the day : Ace was going to propose to Johnny they day he was to come back home from deployment#final post of the day i promise#now im tired AND sad#ill go rest this weekend#aka play mw3#hehe#poor attempt at different a colouring style#not doing it again tho it was tiring#mailman rants#fanart#art#cod#cod oc#call of duty oc#call of duty#call of duty fanart#cod fanart#AceSoap#oc: LT Ace#soap#soap cod#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#cod mw soap#cod soap#johnny soap mactavish#cw: gore#dead dove do not eat#sad sad babies#angst
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me Omw to annoy you about more Francesca content 😼😼
you and my entire inbox my friend strap in everyone this is gonna be The Francesca Mega Collection. part one The Bed Collection ft You HAVE To Click/Tap To Read Anything ESPECIALLY The Asks
thank you for joining me for the Francesca Bed Collection im going to pass out
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#francesca the cat#snap sketches#OK HI HERE been tryin to posts this for ten asks now cause i severely underestimate the speed of my inbox once it picks up#ironically my sis dropped her cat off for the weekend so. i have much fran inspo LMAO she loves doing the bed thing i confess..#i will be candid and say right now that like. two(? maybe just one) of the asks in this post arent fran related#theyve been sitting in my inbox for weeks but they were used for inspo in this post SO IT COUNTS IM POSTING IT TO FEEL LESS GUILTY OK !!!!!#these arent meant to be a cohesive story or w/e but i mean if you try it can prob be. at least the last two#i was gonna try to knock out all my fran asks today actually but 1.) i underestimated how slow i draw#2.) i got to the thirdv (i made it first in this list but i mean he cutie in the third too..) comic and my brain decided i drew erik too ho#and ive decided to dedicate the rest of my night praying for forgiveness for my lascivious thinkings <- they will continue#but yeah like i said i have all the comics and the sort sketched out buuut i might redo one of them#its kinda nsft flavored (but still cute + sfw) and thats not usually a prob but the asks themselves are wholesome i felt awkward jerLJLK#maybe ill repurpose the beginning panels ... or hell maybe ill just finish them and post them as is#spoilers its more Superhero Roeplay bullshit so it can def be posted on its own without fran.. idk ...#we know how my brain goes Thats Why We're In This Sitch once im given an inch i run a marathon and i dont stop#i be having such intense visions im gonna throw up. anyway wtf was i saying i forget. oh well thaat means EnjoYWAIT I REMEMBER#im tempted to close my inbox for a bit just until i clear out all the asks i wanna draw and ik i dont HAVE to draw them#but as ive said i get visions so easily ...... and i must see them realized ... but then id miss talking to everyone :(#so we ball is simply the answer. ok fr enjoy now LMAO BYYYYEE im gonna go redraw some old stuff i think to wind down#maybe ill touch one more asks cause . cause like Many Of Them its got stuff ive been wantin to draw all week ... heh ...#ok bye we'll see what happens im not checking over these if theres a mistake then by god theres a mistake BYE
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sumtimes u just gotta take off yer cowboy hat n feel the breeze in ur hair partner 😔🍃 been desperately needin to draw big stinky
#arthur morgan#ive concluded drawing artar is the closest thing im ever going to get for therapy PFFT#the vague consistent anxiety plaguing my body everytime i start coloring his blotchy skin and moles: ''I GOTTA GET OUTA HERE''#why is he so fun to drAWWW literally everything abt him#my sneeple snorple#aight tomorrow for sure ill get the rest of the asks outa my hair i swear its the weekend lmfao#my art#fanart#rdr2#read dead redemption 2#arthur rdr2#cowboy#western
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Chronic illness is so fun because I never know when things are gonna be too much 🙃 it’s always a game of “is this gonna be the thing that puts me in bed the next couple of days?” Always a gamble trying to see how much I can push myself to still participate in my normal responsibilities before I inevitably do too much and regret it for the next couple days or weeks 🫠🫠🫠
#mine#text post#chronic illness#currently contemplating if I should call out tomorrow so I can show up the rest of the week#or go in and risk spending my weekend in bed 🫠
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All this week I've been going back to bed after I get my kid off to school. I'd sleep between 2-5 hours and then do whatever needed to be done for the rest of the afternoon. I've got no issue with naps, but for the past 14 years I've had chronic fatigue, it was typical for me to get things done in the morning, and then nap in the afternoon.
I was really starting to wonder if I was just being lazy - unmotivated, or trying to avoid doing things, or selfish, or something similar. I was half convinced some sort of personality flaw was causing the change in routine.
then today, I was all ready to go back to bed, but figured it'd be a good idea to do a bit of homework first so I didn't stress about it. Then some cleaning. Then I had some other stuff to do. Basically spent all my nap time doing things just because.
Once again I am reminded that I am actually chronically ill and that chronic illness has an impact on how I go through life and it is physical and not a character flaw. I am not bad, I am ill.
#this is my life#chronic illness#chronic fatigue#me/cfs#myalgic encephalomyelitis#now I'm going to rest with an audio book#and we will see what happens#guess I was recovering from a holiday weekend#who could have guessed
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ships where muse a is outwardly insane and while muse b is much more calm than them, is equally or in their own way insane inside ( especially if its towards their dynamic with muse a. ) are truly beautiful though.
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#good eveningggggggggggg chat.#real talk i am exhausted. my sister had her baby this week and so we've all been helping her and my bil out!#ive spent the majority of this weekend travelling between my house and their house#with every moment ive had to rest in anticipation for a lift to go to the other house -#meaning ive had no chance to write and im very :(#MY MUSE ON THE OTHERHAND ... (my head feeling like its gonna explode with the ideas ive had come to mind)#hoping this week things will be a lot easier but either way ill find a way to write something#and get back to my dms ... tysm for your patience as always!!!#this came to mind as i got to reading some fanfic and realised the dynamics that were coming up there were very much like this#why cant both our muses be a lil bit insane as a treat --#also replace insane with possessiveness ( youre all gonna be so tired of me bringing this up for ships im so sorry HFJDKSDJF )
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good news! i'm slamming through little holiday knitting gifts at the speed of sound!
bad news! i have nowhere to store the finished objects! and gifting is four (4) months away!!
#text#personal#knitting#ive made so many glovvies and a couple hats and a scarf now!!#im combining the mindless knits with the stare out the window during drafting hours writing time#dual wielding works well for me (love a hand debuff activity while percolating on sentences)#unfortunately. if i keep going at this rate. ill be out of mindless projects too quick lol#and then all ill have left are the big complicated scary ones....#i still need to do gloves and a big shawl and figure out some colorwork#i think everything else should be pretty easy/straightforward#but counting stitches is not conducive to sentence percolation#i finished a scarf today that i thought would take me the rest of the weekend 🫣
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who let his ass into grizzco
#ghost's doodles#oso san posting#yaaa jyushimt splatoon player real ^-^#thats how ill be looking during this big run weekend. besides for the grizzco weapon (i think its charger?? have to confirm)#btw don't ever draw the grizzco suits. or the slosher. worst mistake of my life#sighs. anyways we are gonna go to choro drawing for the rest of the night until whatever else distracts me#both excited and fearing for my life this weekend. vp 999.... clenches fist#i Will not sleep until i get it too
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artfight attack dump number twoooo
characters (left to right): Flicker, Gardener, Vessel, Peach Bomber, L1NuX, Marbre & Mary Byrrd, Sketchpad, and Glam
#[cherry on top]#i wanna work on artfight attacks but my hand got sore :(((((#so im letting it rest before getting back to the grind.#surprisingly ive been putting out an attack daily/near daily... which im proud of :)#also as you can see im doing more traditional attacks.#ill probably do a lot more of those bc im going to be away from my computer for like 3 days straight in a bit lol#(hosting a massive garage sale with my family on friday + the weekend)#(gonna be outside most of the day... lots of things to get rid of.....)#(and in the heat too. how fun </3)
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im not saying that pharmacists and doctors shouldnt be allowed to have breaks or should be overworked or anything but i think its a little cruel that pharmacies and doctors offices can close for a holiday or for a little bit of snow at the drop of a hat when like. home depot employees or something are forced to work in a snowstorm on christmas eve. like i just think medical attention and medication is more important but thats just me. hire more doctors and pharmacists for the love of god
#txt#gekkering#and i donf want these people being put in danger or anything wrt to the snow thing but like we got not even an inch of snow and both pharmac#ies i go to have been closed all weekend as far as i can tell#and my medication is not life threatening if i dont get it but if itwas ???? and the rest ofthe store IS STILL OPEN.#i dont know man. it drives me crazy.#the doctor one especially because the nurses work around the clock ill get a message from a nurse over theweekend being like sowwy she will#approve your refill soon!!!! but they cant approve it for her and she wont check any emails or anything until she absolutely has to#you cant approve a fucking prescription on mlk day? its one button.#just drives me batshit. i wish there was some better method for this shit
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Ive written over 5k words for bucktommy week(end) and I'm only halfway though chapter two of what could be a fifteen plus chapter fic...whoops
#bucktommy weekend#like this could be my biggest fic yet#ive opted for one story and all the prompts so ive had to flesh it out a lot but im so excited#i have first chapter ready to go for tomorrow and i cant say ill get the rest done by sunday or posted on th corresponding prompt day buttt#i feel like its gunna be a good story thats worth a little wait#i hope#idk it could be bad#ahahaha#help#bucktommy#kinkley#fic writing#leo rambles
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With taking a break from drawing Oliver everyday and all I think I might continue on my cosplay of him tomorrow because Ive been seriously putting it off and I have Saturday and Sunday off work
#the gremlin speaks#im feeling a bit better now i was just seriously going through it wednesday and thursday 😭#i might take the rest of the weekend off drawing oliver and resume my daily art on monday#my mental healths kinda weird normally i feel kinnda fine#for the most part at least#and then itll just randomly drop and ill feel like i have like no control over it at all#but i talked to some people about it and im gonna call up a doctor soon and hopefully get into therapy#not to vent or anything btw just kinda explaining whats going on with me
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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i applied for a job as a PR assistant lead at a local convention (i usually just volunteer for the weekend as the PR's photographer help) and im sooooo nervous. its basically a position w my friend who already hs it, so i also fear the board will think ✨ nepotism ✨ but tbf they did specifically ask my friend if they knew anyone interested in the job so that my friend can juggle both PR and event handling
#itll mean ill go from only working that One Weekend every year to more work throughout the year but the anime and convention community means#so much to me so id love to have a bigger role!!!!#its all still volunteer work ofc as its a non profit organization. the boards all so nice tho and like. we're at first name basis#they also immediately texted my friend like 'yay nohr sent an application' wheb they received it#obviously my friend will keep the rest of their convo private ss im still only applying etc but !!!!! hoping itll go well#tho it may take a while until i hear back (the cons in mid september) and ill have to wait for them to have a board meeting before they deci#de on wjether or not theyd like me on!!#nohr.txt
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#[likes]#[[sos my ankle might actually be broken and not just rolled um#but I'm refusing to go get an x ray bc im a hypochondriac whos philosophy is of its time its time bc lol mental illness also runs strong but#all of this to say i got nothing better to do this weekend than sit on#my couch with my ankle propped soooooo hmu for all the things#cuz im also secretly on strike from my job for the rest of the day gb 😂]]
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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