#(gonna be outside most of the day... lots of things to get rid of.....)

[maraschinotopped]

artfight attack dump number twoooo

characters (left to right): Flicker, Gardener, Vessel, Peach Bomber, L1NuX, Marbre & Mary Byrrd, Sketchpad, and Glam

[ambswoso]

could’ve been ii - leah williamson

the weddings over. you have to return to barcelona but you didn’t think you’d be seeing leah again so soon and she’s determined to get her girl back, in any capacity.

5.9k words. somehow it's longer than the first part.

leah williamson x mead!reader

“right beth, pack it in. i’m gonna miss my flight.” you laughed as you pushed out of her tight hug.

“you sure you’re gonna be ok?” beth stroked your hair, tucking the hair that had fell from your ponytail behind your ear. “it’s a two-hour flight bethy, i’m sure i’ll be fine.”

“yeah, a two hour flight by yourself to a foreign country!” beth emphasised, ever the protective big sister. “i do live there beth.”

“i know and i hate it. i miss you already.”

“i miss you too, but i really do have to go.” you once again released yourself from beth’s grasp, leaning over to give you new sister-in-law an equally big hug.

you headed over to security and waved at beth and viv one last time. “call me when you land, or i’ll send lucy to your apartment.” you heard beth call as you went, giggling to yourself.

now you just had two hours to kill, by yourself, until you were due at your gate. you may as well get back up to date with paperwork having been away for just over a week. airpods in you started powering through your work, or at least you were until a song you’d long deleted from your playlist started playing in your ears.

your song. both of yours.

leah had a habit of calling everyone ‘my girl’, particularly you when you were together because once upon a time you actually were her girl. the first time she called you it was on your first date. she picked you up, took you for a picnic on an unusually warm february day and dropped you home like the charming woman she always was. as you left leah’s car she called after you, “see you soon for the next one, my girl.” and if you weren’t already smitten from the date then that certainly sealed the deal. the next time she picked you up, ‘my girl’ was playing through her car radio and you decided there and then that it was your song. you only let leah know about it after you’d made things official, but she was fine with it. 

the same song that used to fill you with love and remind you of the love of your life, now just made your heart sink. you weren’t her girl anymore and she wasn’t yours.

you gave yourself only 30 seconds to enjoy the song before you skipped to the next. your shoulders had been rid of a particularly heavy weight since yours and leahs blowout at the wedding and you didn’t really feel like having it back just yet. besides you had work to do and a flight to barcelona to catch. 

other than that one slip up at the airport, you barely had time to think about leah, being thrown straight back into your work had helped distract you.

“hola chica.” you heard a voice call from outside your office, “¿cómo estás?” (how are you?)

“simplemente perfecta” (simply perfect). you told the tattooed woman who’d since made herself comfortable on your other chair.

“i think that was sarcasm” mapi observed. “tell me all about the wedding.” she leant forward resting her chin in the palms of her hands, smiling at you so innocently.

you’d become very friendly with a lot of the girls that played for barca since starting there, having lucy and kiera introduce you to them had helped. they liked finally having a physio who was similar to them, that enjoyed football, that was around their ages. as of recent and thanks to a knee injury, you had a new number one fan by the name of maría pilar león. she was in your office most days for rehab so naturally you learned a lot about each other.

“nothing to tell, maps. my sister got married, i wore a nice outfit, got drunk, had an argument with my ex-girlfriend, drank some more and flew back.” you quickly explained whilst pulling her file up on your computer, only turning to glance at her once you’d finished talking. 

“perdone, repita eso.” (excuse me, repeat that.) mapi gasped. you talked in her physio sessions, a lot, but you’d never discussed you and leah deeming it not fair on her to spread her relationship history around barca femenis football team. 

“wore a nice outfit, got drunk.” you smiled.

“you argued with leah? leah williamson?” mapi exclaimed.

“woah, how’d you know it was leah?”

“lucia loves to talk, everyone knows. it’s sweet you didn’t want to tell anyone though.” she smirked at you. “so why the argument?”

“well we never discussed the breakup properly so, i guess it all just came out that night instead.” you told her, glad to have someone impartial to vent to. “hop up on the bed please, mapi. i need to check your still okay to get back on the grass today.”

“and how do you feel?” she probes as she lays back. you’d both gotten very used to talking about your personal lives during mapi’s appointments. the pair of you had spent so much time together that there was no way you could end up not being friends.

“i don’t really know. there’s like a weight lifted off my shoulder because i said everything i’d been dying to say for a while, but it hasn’t like helped. i still miss it, even after getting that bit of closure.”

“was she unkind?” mapi asked. 

“not at all.” you responded quickly. “i don’t think she really knew why it had ended to be honest. she seemed a bit shocked. we were both sat there crying for a while.”

“the leah williamson crying?” mapi’s head shot up from where it lay, leaning back on her elbows. “god you must have really done a number on her.”

“trust me she’s not as tough as she makes out, or she didn’t used to be anyway.” mapi took notice of how you fondly you still spoke about leah, of how you still held the memories of you and her close to your heart. 

“i don’t think she’s tough at all anymore based on what keira says.” you heard mapi mumble under her breath. “what do you mean? what did keira say?” your questions came at rapid speed in mapi’s direction, the concern and worry you held for leah would probably never go away. 

“i’m staying silent.” mapi held her hands up in defence as you gestured for her to sit up from the bed. “but i do think you should talk to keira for once, i can tell it’s been a little awkward between you two.”

“i mean she’s leahs best friend i don’t want to get in the middle so i just stay out of it completely.” you brushed mapi’s comment off. it wasn’t only keira you’d distanced yourself from after yours leahs split and you knew you’d lost a lot of friends in the process, probably through your own fault rather than anyone else’s. “right, you’re all clear. get your ass back out on the grass maria. i’ll come check in in a little bit.” sending her one final smile to send her off.

you thought mapi had left, thoughts of the team knowing about your previous relationship and what keira may have possibly said ran through your head as you began to wipe down the treatment table where mapi once lay. 

 “lo siento if i’m overstepping but i feel as if we’re good enough friends that i can say this to you.” mapi’s voice scared you from the doorway that she evidently hadn’t moved from yet. “i can see you still love her, i mean you’ve been here for over a year and you’ve not been with anyone else or even tried.” 

“well i-“ 

“don’t even try because i already know you haven’t, mi amiga.” she sent you a knowing look as you rolled your eyes. “you should fight for it, for her, if it’s something you really want because from what you’ve said and what i’ve heard it sounds like she wants to fight for you. i don’t know what happened at home between the two of you, but it must have hurt, but you said yourself you miss the relationship and i think you miss her as well. everything you get is meant for you, y/n/n, and i know you believe that too. just ask yourself if in 5 years, you’re still going to be wishing you’d never left because i think you will.” this time maria actually left the room and with it left you with a lot to mull over. 

“stupid footballers, always giving their stupid advice. idiota.” you scoffed.

“i heard that.”

you filled out the rest of mapi’s paperwork before you went out to see how she was doing back on the grass. it’s quite hard to fill in someone’s medical forms whilst simultaneously having thoughts of your ex-girlfriend spinning around your head but nevertheless you got it done and made your way outside. you were happy with what you saw from mapi, shooting her a quick thumbs up as she waved before trying to disappear back to your office as to not disturb the other girls.

“hola guapa.” (hi beautiful). alexia shouted to you from the pitch as she saw where mapi’s attention was momentarily diverted. 

“te hemos echado de menos.” (we’ve missed you). salma called out as she ran to where you were and pulled you in the hug, others following along in her footsteps.

“hola chicas, i’ve missed you too.” you smiled with salmas arm still wrapped around your shoulders. “vuelve y entrena por favor.” (go back and train, please.)

“tu español es tan bueno ahora, hermosa.” (your spanish is so good now, beautiful). alexia smiled at you as she was the next to pull you into a hug. most people who you met were surprised to hear how welcoming and friendly alexia had been to you. 

when you first moved to barcelona, it’s safe to say it wasn’t under the best circumstances. just coming off the back of a painful end to your relationship, you’d retreated inside yourself and in hindsight moving away from both your family and friends probably didn’t help but you knew you couldn’t stay where you were. keira and lucy were there who you of course knew through leah and beth, but the last thing you wanted to do was cause any friction for them and their national captain, so you kept to yourself and just got to work.

alexia was near the end of her acl recovery when you started your new position, immediately being put in charge of alexia’s rehab and care as you’d had more than enough acl experience working for arsenal. she was a lot sweeter than you’d imagined, her injury putting her in a vulnerable position and you were right there alongside her. you were both healing in your own ways, alexia physically and you emotionally, and your bond quickly formed through that. you didn’t just become alexia’s go to for her physical needs but also her emotional, supporting her through many ups and downs that came with her recovery, and she could never thank you enough for that. when the both of you had spare time, she’d take you around barcelona and had introduced you to her friends and family. you were right there on the side lines watching proudly as she made her comeback in the la liga match against sporting huelva and the friendship continued to blossom even after her recovery. 

“training is nearly finished. no te preocupes.” (don’t worry.) the famously hardworking and driven captain brushed off the end of training, knowing how excited the girls would be to see you again even if it had only been just over a week. “cenamos esta noche?” (dinner tonight?)

“sí, suena bien.” (yeah, sounds good.). alexia had also been a big help in you learning spanish, something you’d been determined to do since arriving in barcelona and you’d come a lot further than keira put it that way. 

“y/n, can i talk to you for a second?” speak of the devil, keira came over to grab you as the rest of the girls headed into the changing rooms.

“yeah, of course. everything okay?” you asked her, secretly hoping she’d be coming to talk to you about an injury rather than leah, but you had no such luck.

“i heard about the wedding.” keira starts and you let out a sigh. “i know this probably doesn’t help but she’s really torn up y/n.”

“yeah, me and her both.” you scoffed defensively. you weren’t really angry at leah anymore, so you weren’t sure why you were acting like this, especially towards keira, but after being pretty torn up yourself for nearing a year and a half you didn’t feel like hearing how it was only now affecting leah. “i’m sorry, it was just a lot that’s all.”

“she keeps asking about you. told me to keep an eye on you, check if you were doing okay.” kiera revealed, “even before this.”

“really?” eyebrows raised, you questioned keira, thinking that leah pretty much continued having the time of her life after you moved away. 

“all the time. she still cares about you and you were really good together. you were good for her.” 

“she was good for me too, until she wasn’t.” you recalled, a sad smile gracing your face which didn’t go unnoticed.

“and i’m sorry you lost the rest of us too. she’s not the only one that’s been missing you. i feel like we haven’t had a proper conversation in ages.” she laughed.

“yeah, probably not.” you laughed a long with her. “but that’s probably more so my fault, just didn’t want to cause any tension, you know? so i’m sorry.” 

“you really don’t have anything to apologise for, y/n.” she wrapped an arm around your shoulder and lead you inside so she could get showered and changed before the hot water was no more.

“i’ve done enough crying this week, don’t make me start again.” you joked as you parted ways, you heading back to your office to get back to work for the afternoon and keira to the changing room. “oh and heads up, she’s coming to the game on saturday, bye!”

brilliant. great. fuck.

you’d expected to have a little bit more time before having to see leah again, let alone speak to her. you and her hadn’t had to come face to face for a year and a half and now you were seeing her twice inside of a month. you’d hoped you could get over your meeting by doing the same thing as last time, avoiding her, but turns out the universe had different plans this time. stupid universe. 

you tried to distract yourself from the imminent encounter with leah and went to dinner with alexia, ingrid and maria, knowing that was a safe place where leah wouldn’t be bought up for a couple of hours. you always had a good time with those girls and were grateful that they’d took you under their wing even though they really didn’t have to, you weren’t even on the team. 

another story post of you and alexia looking particularly friendly at dinner. leah had seen enough of these over the last year and a half but this one for some reason stung her just a bit more than the rest. she used her secret instagram account enough to realise how close you were with certain members of the barca team. she was happy that you’d settled in over there and yet she felt a pang in her heart at the fact that used to be you and her and her teammates. it still should be. 

leah wasn’t sure whether you knew about her coming to the game. she wasn’t sure whether she should go at all really but she hadn’t seen keira in a while, having missed out on the last national camp due to her knee. you came first though, more so now than ever. after your intense conversation, if you can call it that, at beth’s wedding, leah realised how much she’d dropped the ball towards the end of your relationship. you weren’t coming first to her; you weren’t being prioritised and yet you still did that for her. perhaps she was a bit naïve to think that you’d simply fallen out of love with her and that you’d grown apart naturally. everyday she regretted the fact she just let you walk out the door without fighting for you. she truly didn’t realise what she had until it was gone. she used to come back to a warm home with candles lit, dinner prepared and a stupid cheesy film ready to watch. realising that the warm home she felt she had, that you made, felt the exact opposite to you elicited gut wrenching feelings for her. 

had she ever stopped loving you? absolutely not. had she stopped appreciating you? yes, which she now realises had been her fatal flaw. stuck in her own head coming off the back of the euros success, dealing with fame and recognition that she didn’t realise she’d ever have. everybody wanted a piece of the england captain but she forgot to save a vital part of herself for you. this realisation had triggered something in leah, she needed you more than you’d ever know and she knew you needed her too. she’d give you everything you ever wanted, she’d pull the sun out of the sky for you if you asked and she wanted to show you, in one way or another. if you shot her down, or if she was too late then so be it but leah would be damned if she didn’t try her very hardest.

getting lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t realised she’d liked the instagram story you’d posted of yourself at dinner. thanking god, she was on her second account, until she realised she wasn’t religious and she was most definitely on her actual public verified account. you’d definitely seen it. you were out to dinner with your new friends, potentially a new girlfriend, and she’d just liked your story. your ex-girlfriend had just liked your story. maybe it would make it less weird if she followed you again and then liked your story, so she did, and it was still weird. leah felt a little like a stalker and maybe she was doing a bit of stalking, but she thought it was safe. now she was definitely nervous about seeing you on saturday.

you’d long been home from dinner, only posting about it once you’d all left the restaurant. fans could be a little bit crazy sometimes and you knew both barca and arsenal fans followed you on social media with you being both beth’s little sister and heavily featured on the girl’s accounts at one point or another. the notification came through to your phone as you were mindlessly scrolling through tiktok having tried to fall asleep and failed, your mind running rampant with thoughts of seeing leah again. as if someone had read your mind a notification came through from that exact woman. oh god, she’d liked your story. why would she like your story? why would she like your story and then follow you? maybe she was trying to make it less weird before the weekend. well, if that was her aim she hadn’t succeeded. 

“pick up, pick up, pick up.” you mumbled under your breath, pacing back and forth across your bedroom. “hello?” a voice came from the other side of the line.

“hello? oh, thank god you answered.” a sigh of relief left your mouth as your best friend picked up the phone, albeit she didn’t sound very happy to be answering but, nonetheless. 

“what do you want? it’s like midnight, i’m trying to sleep.”

“well if i can’t sleep neither can you. leah just refollowed me on instagram.” you practically shouted at her down the phone.

“okay, and?”

“and liked my story.” you paused and she didn’t answer, only hearing a huff down the phone so you continued, “of me and the girls out to dinner, specifically a picture of me and alexia.”

“no, i meant and as in like ‘and what’s your point?’. she followed you, you also used to sit on her face until like a year ago.” she pointed out, crudely. 

“oh my god!” you grimaced, “she also stopped following me as soon as i stopped doing that so this is a big deal.” 

“y/n/n, i’m not being funny but it’s really not. i mean you saw her like last weekend. she’s probably just trying to make amends.” she points out, just wanting to go back to sleep at this point and trying to make you feel better before she goes. 

“but this just makes this weekend so much more awkward now. like-“

“wait hold on, the weekend? what about the weekend?” she cuts you off. you realise you may have failed to mention that you had an inevitable encounter with leah approaching, having been distracted since keira told you earlier in the day. 

you sighed, “she’s coming to the quarter final. to see keira.” 

“well why didn’t you lead with that?” she was definitely awake now. “you’re gonna see her. she’s gonna talk to you.”

“do you not think i know that? that’s why i’m freaking out even more.”

“no don’t freak out. it’s a good sign.” she reassured you. “she’ll probably try and speak to you and you didn’t leave things on a very good note, so the follow and the like is a good sign.”

“do you think?” you asked, biting down on your freshly manicured nails. another €40 down the drain now you’d have to get them done again. 

recalling the wedding your best friend tells you, “i know it’s a good sign. you didn’t see her after you argued at the wedding. you might’ve been crying in the bathroom, but she was in bits too. when i saw her, she was practicall shaking y/n, like really upset. i mean she made sure i knew where you were and went to you so it’s obvious, she still cares about you.”

“keira said the same thing.” you smiled to yourself.

“so, stop panicking. try and get some sleep, okay?” she tells you and you nod, forgetting she can’t actually see you, so you hum in response instead. “right, i have to go because i have a normal job that starts at 8am. not all of us can be a doctor to the stars.”

“i’m a physiotherapist.” you corrected her.

“you say tomato, i say tomato. goodnight, love you.”

“love you too.”

trying not to think about it, the next few days passed like a blur, filled with twinges of knees and possible injuries to which thankfully none were serious. with little anticipation, gameday rolled around. were you for sure going to see leah? no. was it a strong possibility? yes, especially with keira’s meddling. 

having a lovely view, thanks to alexia’s assurance, you watched from crowd as barca beat brann with a comfortable 3-1, earning themselves a place in the champions league semi-final. you applauded and cheered for the girls from your seat. frido soon noticed you though beckoning you to come join their celebrations on the pitch. as soon as the other girls noticed, it was clear that no one was taking no for an answer so you climbed over the barriers and with security reassured you weren’t a very dedicated fan, alexia helped you down to the pitch. 

you hadn’t seen leah yet today, beginning to think that maybe you’d come away unscathed, but she’d spotted you within the first 5 minutes of her arrival. maybe it was because she was actively looking for you but there was no proof of that so. she watched on from the pitch where keira had summoned her as the barca girls made you come down from the stands to celebrate with them. you never missed an opportunity to do that at arsenal either as leah’s girlfriend, beth’s sister or their physio. you were always there for the matches come rain or shine, win or lose and it was becoming increasingly more obvious that you weren’t there anymore. the conti cup final was happening in a couple of days and leah wished nothing more than for you to be in the stands where you belonged cheering her on, but instead you’d be here. 

“oi!” keira shoves leah out of her thoughts, “did you listen to a word i just said?” and looks around to see what had garnered leahs attention to which she found you in her sights. “stupid question, obviously not.”

“sorry.” leah mumbled, still yet to actually look away from you.

“you’re not sorry. you should go talk to her.” keira began her meddling. 

“yeah maybe in a bit.” leah smiled sadly at keira, the falseness of it not fooling her best friend for a second. 

you finally caught eyes with leah as alexia turned you in the direction of a funny sign that had her attention, but you found the blonde stood 15 metres from you a lot more interesting, especially the fact that she was already looking at you. so interesting that you hadn’t noticed alexia leaving until you felt her squeeze your arm and heard her tell you she’d be back in a minute. well now you were alone, the girls making their walk around the pitch to celebrate with the fans on the other side. you distracted yourself with a conversation with one of the medical staff that had been on the staff for today’s match, they informed you of the little niggles and twinges some of the girls had complained of during the game and half time. 

“muchas gracias. que pase buena noche.” (thank you so much, have a nice evening.) you thanked the woman with a smile as the rest of the medical team packed up to leave.

“de nada. buenas noches.” (you’re welcome. goodnight.)

pulling your phone out you made a note of what she’d told you. “hi.”

there she was. you wondered how long it would take between you seeing her and her approaching. 10 minutes apparently. “hi.”

“hello.” she said again, you giggling at the awkwardness she never seemed to grow out of. “wait i already said that.”

“yep, you did.”

leah was relieved that you were laughing, better yet that she was the one making you laugh, or even speaking to her after the way things had been left at beth and viv’s wedding. “can we talk?”

“ye-“ you were interrupted by a hold on your arm from a certain spanish midfielder. 

“estás bien?” (are you okay?) alexia asked, directing her attention to you not yet looking at leah. alexia knew all about your past relationship, you’d told her in one of your numerous physio sessions as she had told you about hers. well you hadn’t ever told her who it was only that said ex-girlfriend played alongside your sister but she’d figured it out with the small help of mapi telling her exactly who she was. 

“si, soy buena.”(yeah, i’m good.)  you smiled at her, not sure why she looked so worried for you. leah noticed your smile reached your eyes, a real genuine smile you were sending alexia. one she hadn’t coaxed out of you in some time, and she felt her heart sting once more. it was one thing seeing yours and alexia’s friendship or whatever it was through her phone screen but seeing it stand directly in front of her was worse than she thought.

“hola, leah.” once she saw that you were okay and seemingly unaffected (you were affected, just keeping it under wraps) by leahs approach, alexia turned her attention to her fellow blonde national captain. 

“hi. good game.” leah pulled alexia in for a handshake, trying not to let the jealousy that was bubbling inside her show on the outside. 

“oh, thank you. nice to see you.” alexia gave her a tight smile as she squeezed your hand and headed to follow the rest of the girls back inside. alexia was worried for her new friend, not wanting to see her return to the headspace she was in when she first arrived in barcelona. 

you and leah headed back towards the stands where coincidentally you’d only been sat a few rows apart. “how are you?” she asked as she gave you a hand to help you back over the barrier. 

“yeah, i’m good. how are you?”

“been better.” she sent you a sad smile. “i know you probably haven’t got much time but i just wanted to see if you’re up for getting a coffee or something before i go home on monday?” 

you were both surprised and not surprised at leah’s question. you’d expected to have a conversation with her but thought it might’ve happened today. mapi’s words of advice rang through your head. you did miss her a lot, you thought about her all the time. maybe having that closure without the arguing would help you process this. clearly, you’d been doing a pretty shitty job by yourself for the past year and a half if every time you saw her all the feeling came rushing back. 

“yeah actually, i’d like that. i’m free tomorrow morning?” you proposed.

“wait really? are you joking?” the smile appeared on her face. shed asked the question half expecting you to say no.

“obviously i’m not joking you idiot.” you laughed at her expression.

“tomorrows good. tomorrows so good.” she told you, still smiling widely. in reality, tomorrow wasn’t good. she had plans to go for breakfast with keira and her girlfriend tomorrow, but keira could wait. they’ll get lunch instead. 

should someone be this stressed to see their ex-girlfriend again? probably not. should they also be this stressed over what they look like to see their ex-girlfriend again? also, probably not.

you’d been up 2 hours before you were supposed to be after not sleeping much at all in the first place. you’d gotten your outfit ready last night, declining your invitation to the club with the team to celebrate to ensure that you had a fresh head in the morning. deciding that the outfit you’d chosen last night wasn’t good enough and you hated your entire wardrobe ended with about 4 outfit changes before you finally got in your car, 20 minutes after you were supposed to leave.

“i’m so sorry i’m late leah.” you rushed out as you sat across from her at the table shed been perched at for 25 45 minutes. 

“don’t worry, just had me thinking you weren’t going to show up.” she chuckled nervously, sliding the drink shed bough you over to you. “one iced latte with oat milk and one shot of vanilla and a shot of hazelnut.”

“you remembered.” you smiled at her. your coffee order had never changed in the years leah had known you and it hadn’t since. if you needed to be in work earlier than leah, there would be an iced latte on your desk promptly when she walked through the doors of the training centre. 

“hard not to remember when you probably consist of 90% iced latte.”

“so has keira shown you the barcelona sights?” 

“a few. found my favourite one yesterday at the game though.” she flirted. old habits die hard, i guess.

“i see you haven’t lost your charm miss williamson.” you laughed lightly. both of you dancing around the real reason leah asked you to meet.

“you seem really happy here, y/n/n.” leah pointed out. a bittersweet feeling to know that you were thriving somewhere else when she believed you should be in london, with her, but at least you were happy.

“yeah its been rough, i wont lie to you.” leah winced at your words, realising she’d been the reason for your move in the first place so she had no right to wish you were back in london. this was your home now. “you were a big part of my time in london so we said goodbye and then i had to say goodbye.”

“i know we left beth and viv’s on a sour note, but i really am genuinely sorry. for everything. the breakup, the neglect, the argument at the wedding. all of it.” she reaches across the small coffee table to grab your hand, something she always did to stop you biting at your painted nails. 

“you still have it?” you borderline gasped at the sparkle you noticed on leahs hand. as soon as you noticed she retracted her hand, as if moving it would somehow take back what you’d seen, but you held tightly.

“erm-“ she cleared her throat, not expecting you or anyone else to see that the ring you bought her still holds pride of place on her hand some days, today being one of them. “yeah, i just like to have it on sometimes. reminds me of a better time.” in reality, she was wearing it at the wedding and hadn’t taken it off since. how could she take the ring off if she hadn’t stopped thinking about the girl who gave it to her? 

“i didn’t mean to be so harsh towards you the other week, le.” you told her as you let go of her hand, falling back into your seat. “i think i just got overwhelmed. the whole day was a lot, you just got the brunt of it.”

“trust me i deserved it. if all i get of you these days is to be your punching bag, i’ll take it. it’s the least i can do.”

you chuckled sadly, knowing exactly what lead you and leah to this point but still wondering how you got here at the same time. “i miss you, y/n/n. i know i said it at the wedding, but it’s been a year and a half and some days i think i might be over it, that i might be ready to move on but i’m not and i’m really scared that i never will be.”

“i don’t want you to think that i don’t miss you because i do. all the time.” you confessed to her. “but that doesn’t change the fact that what happened and what you did really hurt me, leah. towards the end i was so afraid of you going to an event or a trip and leaving me that i didn’t realise i’d left myself behind already.”

leah hung her head. never in her life had she been so ashamed of how she’d treated someone, especially someone who loved and cared about her so deeply. you would have done anything for leah and a lot of the times you did. she always came first with you, and you did to her, until all of a sudden you didn’t. deep down you knew that it was partly to do with leah dealing with the sides of fame she never had to deal with before, becoming a household name within the space of a few weeks during the euros, but you also knew that you just weren’t her priority anymore whether she meant to do it or not. 

“but i’m really tired of being angry leah.” you continued, the word ‘but’ sending a slither of hope through leah as she looked back towards you. “and i do miss you, so id really like it if we could be friends again.”

“i’d really like that too. having you back in any capacity is more than i deserve and more than good enough for me.” leah smiled wider than you’d seen in a while. even on your stalks through instagram you knew that half those smiles were fake.  

“friends?”

“friends.”

the long awaited part 2! decided there will be at least 1-2 more parts of this just bare with me. enjoy🤍

[oobbbear]

This rant has 1 target audience and it’s me sorry I like to talk about my unfinished/abandoned stories like they’re successful tv shows and I’m the director getting interviewed about the little details of said show

I love afterland postal so so so much you don’t know how hard it was for me to cut it, but it got to the point that it’s effecting my mental health so I had to stop it. His story in the afterlife is a healing journey, so for that healing journey to be effective I have to make the downfall in his past life hurt, like, HURT hurt, and I went a bit too far that and focused on it a bit too much that I was not working on the healing part anymore. Everyday I regret the making of water angel cause it ended being my fav instead of the protagonists and it being the physical manifestation of death made me focus on the downfall of the story too much, until it literally just crumbled to the ground. If I pick back up Dolus’s story one day I will cut out water angel entirely and maybe most part of his past life, focusing mainly on the afterlife part and how he recovers/deal with his past traumas and rid of bad habits. I want to draw this gremlin again so so bad.

Afterland Postal is a story about learning to love life through death. I like to draw Dolus with CT moon and Callisto sitting together because all three of their stories are about “learning to love life again through the death”. In Dolus’s case is his literal death. For CT moon is him fantasizing death. And for Callisto is through the death of her old life.

After the “death” all three of learned to love themselves again by traveling. They see the world in different perspectives, goes out of their bubbles and get a taste of the wild possibilities of what life has to offer.

For Dolus, I specifically placed him in this post office that delivers mails to the living plane so he can run around experiencing the world but doesn’t have to deal with life? One of his big thing is that he enjoys simply existing, he likes observing the world, feel his surroundings, I had an entire chapter that’s describing how he sees the world through his 5 senses. The feelings are the only thing he enjoyed about life, now he’s a ghost life doesn’t have effect on him anymore, he can really slow down sit down and look at the world he didn’t have the time to look at before, see what he missed and what he may have never be able to see.

For CT moon is basically all described in that If my world goes Bang comic.

Callisto is a different case cause she doesn’t die, strongest fucking character in my stories she survived and very passionate about living. In the original plan after her finding Hester and having Hester’s soul freed, she’s gonna go and travel the world. She has been living in this little house in the middle of nowhere for good half of her life, having her burned down her past and moving on to a new one is good for her. I had a lot a lot of sketches that is just her traveling, I used this as a chance to expand on this weird magical world she lives in, so many cool places and concept. (Also she started dating people again wohoo) I really wish I didn’t burn myself out after that animatic this story would have been so fun to work on.

SPEAKING OF TRAVELING AS A HEALING MECHANISM☝️I m gonna go on a mad Orange Knife spoiler rant since I don’t think there’s a single soul still reading this thing. In Moondust & Natto plot, Moondust really really wanted to see the world with Natto, she loved the world she loved life, in her eyes the outside world is a struggle but one she would fight for because the sunset is beautiful and the grass is soft and for that the hardship is worth it, she loved the world so so much and she wanted to have Natto experience it too. Freedom was a large part of her soul and being add to OK’s collection permanently took that away. She never got to see it again not even the part of her that got added to worm made it out, her soul is killed long ago and body died with the fire that led to Worm and the remaining crew’s freedom, which honestly I think she would be happy knowing that her death freed Natto in the end. She would be mad knowing the person who killed her is freed too but she would understand if she knows Worm’s situation better. After Natto is free I’d like to think he carries a piece of Moondust with him so in his heart he completed their dream, and they can finally experience the world together.

It’s 2am and nothing is making sense sent post to tumblr.com go

[anystalker707]

a sweet reminder

Pairing: Luke Skywalker x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: Spending a nice time with Luke after he's done working at the farm, and of course he's awfully sweet. Tags: clingy luke / he really wants to take care of you / lots of kisses

MASTER LIST

          Despite the usual high temperatures, the day felt exceptionally hot—the suns seemed to be taking out personal anger on Luke, making each step towards his home feel like torture, and he already knew he’d need some cream later tonight to deal with burning in the areas where the sunlight chastened his tanned skin. He furrowed his eyebrows, patting his clothes to get rid of the sand accumulated between the folds.

The droids wouldn’t do everything, so Luke still needed to carry those heavy buckets of water back home to refill the sprinklers. He tried to balance between no water spilled and the intense pain in his fingers to let buckets down on the ground as slowly as he could, and the pain lingered uncomfortably around his knuckles.

“Fuck,” Luke breathed as he opened and closed his hand a few times until the stiffness went away, or at least most of it. He sighed as he placed his hands on his hips, looking down, letting the breeze refresh the back of his neck before he moved to finish his task. He would be free for the last of the day, hopefully.

Luke’s thoughts were fuzzy already after so many hours under the suns, but he had done that enough times to trust himself on autopilot. He could name a handful of things—more, actually—he would rather be doing right now.

A long breath escaped his lips once he was done, and he tried his best to ignore the tingling in the back of his mind that told him it was only a matter of time before his uncle told him to do something else. He took a deep breath as he walked over to the kitchen, his body instinctively freezing when he heard his name being called, but hey, it wasn’t Uncle Owen.

“Luke,” the voice called again, and he stepped out to see you coming down the edge. A smile tugged on your lips when you finally saw him, sighing. “Wow, you look like you’ve been… smuggled by Jawas.”

“Oh,” Luke chuckled, shaking his head. “Just slaving away as usual,” he breathed, glancing behind him, but no one from his family was around. He wiped the sweat away from his brow with his forearm, and he shook his head again so that his strands would fall back into place.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, just feeling a little too hot and cranky.” Luke scrunched his nose a little. Today’s weather seemed harsher than usual, and opposite to his wishes to stay home upgrading his ship, he had to work at the farm for longer than normal today.

You raised your eyebrows, nodding faintly. “I was gonna ask you to come grab a drink with me, but we don’t need to go anywhere if you don’t want to.”

Luke’s eyes followed your hand reaching out to brush his hair back into place, and he made sure to stand still while you did so. “Doesn’t sound bad at all,” he said. “Maybe we can have a couple of glasses of blue milk while we hang out in the garage. I was gonna tinker around with my stuff anyway.” He grabbed your hand, walking by the kitchen with you to grab the promised drink before you two could go sit on the couch in the garage. He always sat close, pressed to your side. “Ugh, what a day, I swear. Anything interesting happened while I was slaving away?”

“Stop being so dramatic,” you scoffed with an endearing smile. You enjoyed the refreshing sensation of the blue milk going down your throat, and the garage felt a lot nicer than being cooked under the suns outside. On the other hand, maybe it’d be colder than usual tonight. “And no, nothing interesting. I did hit my head on the edge of a ship while fixing it, though. I’m not sure if that’s interesting,” you chuckled, bringing a hand up to the sore spot on top of your head out of instinct.

Blue eyes observed you over the rim of the glass before Luke lowered it, licking his lips as his eyes roamed over you with clear concern, a crease forming between his eyebrows. A small sound came from him as he put his glass away. “Oh no, are you alright? Let me take a look.” He adjusted his position and placed your glass on the table as well, reaching out to touch your head. His fingertips gently traced the area where you’d hit with a delicate and soft touch. “Does this hurt?” He applied a little pressure.

“Ow,” you hissed at the unexpected pain, though it wasn’t too bad. You’d forget it hurt if nothing touched the area you’d hit. “Only a little sore.” 

“I don’t feel any bumps or swelling, but I think we should keep an eye on it, anyway,” Luke exhaled. “But that’s a relief. We don’t want you losing any more brain cells.” He chuckled and kissed the top of your head carefully, his hand descending to cup your cheek for a brief moment. Concern was evident in his eyes as they met yours, making your heart flutter in your chest. “I have a bacta spray. It should help. Do you want me to get it?”

You placed your hand on top of his to squeeze it reassuringly, letting it fall to your lap. “I’m fine, I swear. Maybe we should be more worried about your brain cells cooking in this heat, yeah?” You chuckled, running your thumb over Luke’s knuckles when his eyes widened, and you were sure his blushing would be apparent if it weren’t for his sun-kissed skin.

“H-Hey, my brain is just fine, thank you very much!” Luke’s attempt to sound indignant failed miserably with his embarrassment, and he bit his lip, glancing away. “It’s not like I’m hallucinating or anything.” His eyes softened when they met yours again, and he lifted his free hand, his fingertips grazing your cheek gently—he raised his eyebrows a little when you leaned into his touch. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He leaned in closer. “Maybe I should take another look, just to be safe.”

Part of you regretted telling Luke about the bump when concern laced his gaze once more—you thought he’d be more used to it, since you and him were always with a bruise or another from working on those ships or machines the whole time.

“It’s okay,” you insisted, catching his hand between yours before he could reach for your head again. “Trust me, Luke.” You squeezed his hand gently.

Luke exhaled. “Okay. If you’re sure.” He looked down at your joined hands before he leaned in, his nose brushing against yours. “But if it gets worse, you’ll tell me, right?” His wide, earnest eyes looked into yours, pleading, before he pressed his forehead to yours, both out of habit and out of worry. Clingy, as always. “I could kiss it better.” His breath fanned over your face. “If you want me to, I mean.” As if he hadn’t already.

“You’re such a sweetheart,” you mumbled, your eyelids instinctively hiding half of your irises when the distance between you diminished. “Why are you always doing this? Pressing your forehead to mine. Trying to read my thoughts?” You chuckled, and he couldn’t help but do the same.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Luke furrowed his eyebrows lightly. “It feels… nice. Comforting, I guess.” He bit his lip, his hand coming up to rest on your shoulder, near the base of your neck. “Don’t act like I’m being clingy.”

“Yeah, feels nice, I enjoy it too… But you’re very clingy all the time, in fact,” you whispered with a small smile, placing a hand on his waist instead, adjusting your position so that you could be closer to each other.

A soft scoff escaped his lips. “You’re the one who wouldn’t stop kissing me the last time,” he pointed out with a shy smile, and he quickly pulled one of your legs to hook over his. “Not that I’m complaining,” he mumbled in a quieter, embarrassed voice, but he didn’t move away. The closeness was exciting and terrifying all at the same time. “I really like it when you do that.”

You raised your eyebrows, feigning cluelessness, despite how your heart fluttered in your chest. “Me? I never even kissed you. Let alone kiss you nonstop.” You clicked your tongue.

Luke pulled away suddenly, making your head fall forward a little, and looked at you with a wide grin and disbelief. “What? But you did! Here in the garage, when we were working on the speeder.” He paused. “Trying to.”

“Did I?” You raised your eyebrows. “I don’t remember it, baby.”

His heart pounded in his chest, and his cheeks burned, not just because of being under the sunlight for hours before. With a dramatically heavy sigh, he leaned in again. “Maybe you should kiss me again, love.” He glanced at your lips. “Just to remind you.”

“Oh, so that’s your suggestion?” You asked, and Luke nodded, biting his lip. “‘M not sure about it,” you mumbled against his cheek, nuzzling it softly.

“Well, we should try, maybe it’ll remind you,” Luke chuckled softly, turning his head. His lips brushed against yours in a barely-there touch. It was more of a tease, but still managed to send a tingling down his spine. He cupped the side of your neck, his thumb under your jaw, leaning in, and finally kissed you properly. His lips finally met yours, his breath hitching. Luke loved the warmth of your mouth, the softness of your lips, and it made his head spin when you kissed him back just as lovingly. “Like this?”

“I don’t think I’ve remembered enough,” you said as soon as his lips broke away from yours.

Luke chuckled. “We’ll have to keep trying, then.” He pecked your lips. “Until you remember.” Despite the calloused skin, his hands gently cupped your face as he kissed you once more, needy lips pressing to yours in a longer, deeper kiss. His kisses were messy in the best way possible, oscillating between the need and shyness, refraining into more contained movements right after deepening it and getting lost on your lips, trying to get a grip of himself again. “Do you like this?” Luke’s lips grazed yours as he spoke.

“Mhm. So good.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, mirroring his smile. He couldn’t be close enough.

Something shifted in Luke’s gaze as he tilted his head; it was like you were the most precious thing in the whole universe. He kissed you again, letting it last longer, as his thumbs ran along your cheekbones. “You’re so good at this,” he groaned, wrapping his arms around your waist to hug you tightly while nuzzling your nose. “I love being close to you like this.”

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ✩°｡⋆

[manikas-whims]

Happy Diwali 🎇 and thanks for all the nice headcanons about lads

can i please please request some Diwali headcanons with lads boys pretty plase 🥹 lov u

Happy Diwali to you too anon 🥰

tho i’m kinda busy at home, i’ll write a few HCs for you ♡

Celebrating Diwali with LADS Men

some love and deepspace x Desi! Reader headcanons

Cleaning and Decorations with Xavier

-> Cleaning up the house during Diwali signifies letting go of the old (past) and bringing in/welcoming the new. Whereas decorative lights represent the triumph of light over darkness; victory of good over evil.

You tell Xavier about this desi tradition and the next morning he's at your door at 7 am sharp with all the cleaning supplies. He helps you clean up, declutter and even get rid of certain things you don't need anymore but keep hoarding for no reason 😭

Xavier will also love joining you in crafting lanterns, as well as buying decorative items because he gets to spend more time with you 🥺. He'll help you hang the decorative pieces at all the high places, and definitely enjoy setting up all the lights ✨. IT'S HIS FAVORITE PART ABOUT THIS FESTIVAL. He'll help place the diyas (🪔) all over the house.

Shopping with Sylus

-> Shopping for new items such as furnishings and such is a way to bring in the new things into your lives. It's also believed that buying gold or silver during Diwali is auspicious and brings in wealth and prosperity to a family.

Sylus learns about this custom and the next day, he's outside your apartment with his sportscar, inviting you to a shopping date with him. Will definitely spoil you and buy loads of gold and silver jewellery for you cause he can 😌

Will also buy you furnishings way too lavish for your liking, saying shit like “the couch in your living room is too shabby, sweetie.” May or may not ask Luke and Keiran to help replace and redecorate all the furniture in your house 😭

Making candles and sweet dishes with Zayne

-> Many people buy but many others also make their own candles and diyas (🪔) at home to decorate the house. We also make sweet dishes which vary accordingly with every region of India.

Zayne is a calm and patient person. So who better to invite for making candles and sweets than him? He'll be a very patient learner. He'll love this activity so much, mostly cause he'll get to see your cute, annoyed expressions. And his candles will definitely look better than your crooked ones 😭

ZAYNE LOVES SWEETS! He'll be kinda excited to try the Desi delicacies. He'd probably enjoy Gulab Jamun the most! And Rasmalai 😋. He may not like kaju katli or soan papri as much but he'll appreciate them all the same. Oh and he will surely like boondi ke laddu.

Rangoli and Mehendi with Rafayel

-> We make Rangolis during Diwali to welcome the Goddess Lakshmi, goddess of wealth and prosperity. It is believed that deities like houses with beautiful rangoli. Rangolis also represent the people’s joy as well as the triumph of good over evil. Whereas Mehendi (or henna art) is a tradition mostly performed by women. We love covering our hands in beautiful henna art 😍

Rafayel is an artist so of course he's gonna be most excited to indulge in the Rangoli making. His designs are gonna be the prettier than yours. He doesn't even bother looking up the simple rangoli designs on the internet. He'll directly create his own authentic and complex designs all over your house.

And he'd love Mehendi (henna art). He'd quickly learn the process of making mehendi at home. And then he'll get down to making beautiful patterns on your hands. Will definitely add lots of water symbolic designs as well as hide his name in the design 🤭 (eh-hem hiding each-other’s names in mehendi art is a hindu wedding tradition for bride and groom)

Miscellaneous HCs

♡ All of them will sincerely sit throughout the praying session. They'll help perform all the rituals.

♡ All of them will gawk at you in your pretty lehengas and sarees and kurtis and other traditional outfits you choose to wear 😊. They'll shower you with loads of compliments. Will definitely try out desi outfits for men if you ask them.

♡ They'll love trying out all the desi dishes you prepared.

♡ Xavier and Zayne will enjoy all the card games and will definitely keep beating your ass 😭

♡ They'll say no to fire crackers cause they cause pollution. Celebrate a Green Diwali y'all 😊🫶

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY DIWALI 🪔

» MASTERLIST «

[restinslices]

Everything pt3

PJO Show Ares x Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 6999 (I made a few word changes at the last minute so this is inaccurate. Rip)

Summary: Everything pt1 and 2 from Ares perspective

Warnings: Sad shit. Ares threatening to murder Athena’s owl so animal cruelty? OOC Ares but this is not y'all first rodeo. Possible OOC Athena but who isn’t a little shit to their sibling? (The way that most of the gifs of him on here are him beating on Percy-)

You wanna know how to keep your sanity somewhat intact as a god?

Don't worry about your children. 

Gods are immortal. Their children? Not so much. If the gods watched over all their kids and were as involved as people wanted them to be, that meant everytime one of them died, they'd be torn up. Gods had too many kids. The grief would never end. 

That's how Ares saw it at least. Plus, that's how Zeus had it. You couldn't be too involved, and Ares didn't complain. Hating your kids was so much easier than openly loving them. Sure, he would watch his kids from a distance sometimes but there were gods like Hermes who thought about his kids every single day. One specific child tore him up from the inside. If anyone ever mentioned Luke Castellan, his face would go all solemn and he'd make some excuse to leave. 

That's what happened when you cared about one child. Imagine how it would be if the gods cared about all their kids this way. Endless torment. 

The brain was a funny thing though. You could try not to think about something, and it'd pop in your head anyway. Sometimes, you just did things because your brain was used to it. Like a morning routine. You don't think about everything you're doing when you're getting ready for the day, you just do it because that's what your brain is used to. Sometimes you'd look somewhere and be flooded with emotions linked to certain memories. The brain was very interesting. 

Ares didn't mean to stumble upon one of his kids. It just happened. Went back to that brain thing. Ares only meant to have a nice late night drive in the rain, no real destination in mind. That was his mistake. If he had a destination in mind, he wouldn't have been on autopilot and drove down a street that was linked with multiple emotions and memories. 

Memories of a woman he shared laughs with. Memories of a woman he'd hold hands with and take on various bike rides and walks. Memories of a woman he called beautiful and loving on multiple occasions. Memories of a woman that had one of his children and looked as happy as could be when she held them. 

There were other memories though. 

Memories of a woman he watched turn bitter and cold towards him. He was gone too often and they both knew she wouldn't be the last person he was with. There were memories of them fighting, of her telling him that he left her with a curse she couldn't get rid of. And Ares watched from afar as all the anger she had towards him was targeted at his child because they were within reach. 

He gritted his teeth as he thought about it, and he was planning on turning around, but he decided not to when he saw the figure sitting on the ground. He didn't have to be close to know it was you. You sat outside a lot, and he assumed it was because your house was too loud at times. Plus, you had a specific hoodie you got as a gift in middle school and you kept it ever since. Pros of getting a gift way too big for you. 

His mind screamed at him. “Do not go any closer! Just mind your business and turn around! Now!”

He didn't stop his bike as he was thinking, and the view of you and what he assumed was gonna be your poor excuse of an offering came closer and closer into view. A fruit roll up? He probably would've ignored you if he wasn't so close. 

“Tough night” he said once he was in front of you. Your confusion was clear. You hadn't technically made an offering, so you weren't expecting him to appear. “You were going to”. 

You asked why he was here and he responded a little more sarcastic than he meant to, but oh well. Wouldn't matter. He'd take you back to camp, forget this conversation, then that'd be it. 

“Why don't you like me?”

The question caught him off guard. It was sudden and came out of nowhere. He hasn't told you or any of his kids he didn't like them, so where the hell did you hear that?

Then you explained, and the conversation kept getting more heated. 

Anyone would expect for him to love arguments and usually, he did. This one though, he didn't. The more points you kept bringing up, the more he'd try to deflect and move on, and then you'd bring up even more points. You didn't accept him saying he didn't have to explain anything to you, and he hated it. Any other kid wouldn't dare talk to their parent this way, so why did he have to get the difficult one?

You made another good point about how his eyes shouldn't wander when he has Aphrodite and that calm facade slipped for a moment. Not because he didn't want you speaking about her, but because you were right and he had no actual answers for you. He should be satisfied with Aphrodite, and he was. But he was also a god and sleeping with mortals was part of the gig. They never really thought about what happened after. They weren't supposed to. 

“I didn't choose to be abandoned by my father and be stuck with a dysfunctional family for the rest of my life. You should be angry at that, not me mentioning Aphrodite. You should be enraged at the thought of anyone putting their hands on me and your hands should be covered in their blood! That is how it should be”. 

“Believe it or not, the gods aren't too keen on the idea of killing mortals”

But he wanted to. You had no idea how hard it was to watch one of your children be stuck in a situation you wanted to save them from but couldn't. 

Couldn't. 

Ares hated that word. As a god, he should've been allowed to do whatever he wanted. “Couldn't” shouldn’t be in his vocabulary, but rules put it there. You had no idea about all he had done to keep those types of men away from you. Did you honestly believe he “broke his wrist at work”? He worked at a fast food place. What were the chances?

He tried. The guy was just persistent. When he eventually gave up, your mom married another guy like him, just in a different font and had kids almost immediately with him. Like the last guy, this one was also persistent. There was only so much Ares could get away with before it'd cause a bigger problem, but he tried to make your life better from afar. 

He wanted to beat himself over the head. Why was he so frustrated with himself? The whole point of telling yourself and others that you hated kids, including your own, is that eventually you'd believe it. It was supposed to stay that way. He should've just said “I tried. Get over it”. Why did he wanna try harder? Why did he have this weird ache? Why did the rain suddenly hit him harder and the air smell so bitter?

“None of us asked for this. You all just decide to create and leave us. And you hating the people you created is… I don't know. And it's so stupid that I've spent years of my life trying to get you to be proud of me, only for it to be impossible!”. 

That wasn't true at all. Him not being proud of you? He wasn't supposed to have a favorite, but in the back of his mind he knew his favorite was you. He didn't give gifts to just any of his kids, it was for a reason. It was a small hint that he was watching and liked what he saw. He watched how you carried yourself in battle. You didn't just run in angrily, no. You understood battle. You understood your opponent. You actually looked into wars and you and a few of his other children would try to spot where his influence was. He'd be pretty stupid not to have you as a favorite. 

But you couldn't hear that. If he said any of that out loud, that'd make it real. If he said all of that out loud, his facade would crack and that's something he couldn't let happen. So he defended himself instead. “I claimed you didn't I?”. 

He didn't expect what happened next. 

Firstly, he didn't expect that you'd start to actually yell at him. Only fools who didn't care about their lives did that. Secondly, he didn't expect that ache he felt to get worse with every little thing you said. Especially the last part. 

“... If you asked me to extinguish the sun, I'd find a way to because to me… to me you were everything. You are everything”. 

The facade slipped from his face for a second. How couldn't it? You looked so beaten down and broken, and not because you were in a fight. He would've preferred that. If you had just finished a quest and you looked badly beaten with bruises everywhere, he would've felt better than he did now. At least then he wouldn't feel so guilty. Guilt was another feeling he hated. It meant he did something or made a mistake and he had a reason to feel guilty. Feeling guilty meant he cared enough about you and regretted what he done. It meant the lies he told himself for years weren't satisfying him anymore. It meant he had a problem. 

He tried to tune out the rest of the interaction. He heard your comment about being a burden, and your crying, then your realization that you had yelled at a god, and your comment about him cursing you, but he tried not to focus on any of it. All he did was throw a pouch of drachmas on your lap and watch you suspiciously open it. If you didn't want a ride from him back to camp, you could at least call for another. He could've just tossed you one, but you didn't have any on you. He figured you needed it more than him. 

“You're leaving?” You asked.

“I have a busy schedule”. It wasn't necessarily a lie. He had a particular house call he had to make, so technically he had something on his schedule. Besides that though, he knew he had to leave.

The thing about being away from your kids, is that it makes hating them easier. As twisted as it sounds, they're not there to defend themselves. It's easier to put walls up when there's not someone in front of you knocking them down over and over again. 

Then you did another thing that weirdly hurt. You didn't call him dad. 

What was wrong with him? Must've been just an off day. That's all it was, right?

“Yeah” he accidentally replied to himself out loud before he sped off. 

Just an off day. 

~

You wanna know another way to keep your sanity intact as a god?

Don't have an off day. 

Why? Because being around gods is like being around elementary school bullies. The gods still hadn't let Ares live down that day when him and Aphrodite got trapped by Hephaestus. Almost every single meeting they'd had, someone made a sly joke. Do you know how annoying it is to hear “I heard you're good at… NETworking” multiple times a year? You'd help Kronos escape too!

Gods notice when you have off days. They also dabble in business that had nothing to do with them. 

When Ares noticed he was missing offerings from a particular child, he must've seemed off. You know who smelled it on him? Athena. 

Ms “look at my owl! I'm so smart! Dad loves me more! Hahahaha I'm just so much better at war!”. Couldn't Kronos strangle her first?

“Ares, brother of mine, you seem so distracted”. Shielding her nosiness as concern. Of course. 

“I was taking in the view until you ruined it”. She smiled, but it wasn't a smile of joy. It wasn't a smile of bitterness and anger either. It was the kind of smile someone gave you before they dealt a crushing blow. Sinister almost. 

But sure, she was totally the better and nicer god. Yeah, ok. 

“Olympus certainly is beautiful. I'm surprised a brute can comprehend something as ‘beautiful’ and 'take in a view’ ”. 

He couldn't help but think to himself “this is the person people prefer?”. At least he was openly mean. Athena was like one of those mean girl characters in movies Aphrodite made him watch. Real snarky but hid it well. 

“You can't turn me into a spider, so I'll just say it; you're a real bitch and one day I'm gonna kill that disgusting owl of yours”

“You'll do no such thing!”. Threatening an owl made her angry? But if he called her pathetic then it's “Ares be nice to your sister!”. 

“Anger over an owl? You're pathetic-”

“Ares!” Hermes seemed to shout from out of nowhere “be nice to Athena!”

See?

He couldn't even throw something at Hermes because he was there one second and gone the next. 

Athena chuckled. “The smell up here is heavenly too. I can smell the offerings my children give me so well up here-”

“What do you want?” he asked, tired of this game already. “Get to it and make it fast. I don't like you”. 

“Hmm, you know who does like me? A particular child of yours”. She didn't need to say your name for him to know who she meant, but she did it anyway. 

“I don't care” he lied. It should've been the truth, but the memories of your last talk coming back and the fact that you chose her out of all the gods to switch over to pissed him off more than he liked to admit. “I have other kids”. 

“But each child is special, aren't they? There's only one of them”. 

“I don't care about any of them”. 

“Then you shouldn't care about what I'm about to say next; it's not just me. I asked around and I guess your child prefers others. Such a sad time. Speaking of other gods, did you know Poseidon got an offering from them recently? Poseidon, father of the child that beat you in combat, well they'll be watching over that child that beat you in combat. Maybe they'll even visit that beach where-”

“It was one time and his dad helped him!” 

“Whatever you say”. Ares had to remind himself that destroying another god wouldn't look good for him. That owl though? He was gonna poke a hole through it. 

“I couldn't imagine any of my children doing that. Must put a lot on your mind” she patted his shoulder then walked away. 

You gave offerings that belonged to him, to other gods. Worse of all, Athena. Then you decided to watch over Percy Jackson of all people? Really proved you were his. You knew how to hit people and make them feel it. It was just unfortunate it was happening to him. 

He didn't care. That's what he told himself. He was just being nosey. Hermes did it all the time, why couldn't he? 

He didn't think about your last conversation and ever since then he'd been watching over his kids more. 

He didn't care about one child not giving him his offerings. 

He wasn't seeing what the hell was going on being he cared. Absolutely not. He was just bored and nosey. That's all it was. 

~~

Ok so Ares had made a little oopsie. 

After your talk, Ares made a little house call and things got out of hand and some hospital visits had to be made. Whoops?

Because of that, your mom and step dad needed no convincing when you asked for legal documents so Sally could take you in. 

Well fuck. There went that obstacle.

And because he absolutely did not care and was only a bit nosey… he kept watching over you. 

He kept debating with himself. On one hand, he shouldn't have cared. Sure, he was missing offerings from one person but it was only one person. On the other hand, the fact that you kept making offerings to Poseidon, and he even gave you a gift, rubbed him the wrong way. Offerings, gifts, staying with that mortal woman and his son, going to school near each other, it's like you were changing families. Not only did that damage his pride as a god, but it also twisted a knife inside him that he didn't know how to get out. 

One day though, Ares got tired of it. He was a god and if he wanted you to cut this shit out, then he'd just force you to. All these emotions were making him weaker than he was, and he was tired of it. You weren't Poseidon's child, you were his. Simple as that. You just needed a reminder.

Slight problem. You and that Jackson boy were idiots. 

For reasons unknown to him, neither of you thought “hey, wouldn't two demigods attract a lot of monsters?”. So a big chunk of the time he was watching over you, he was killing monsters. You may have thought you were killing lots of monsters when you snuck over to Jackson's school, but he did a lot more work than you. Behind the schools, outside the apartment building, in between alleyways, everywhere. If he was anyone else, he wouldn't have been having as much fun as he was having. 

Fun had a limit though. He'd think about Poseidon and Percy and your last talk and that “fun” would become “annoyance”. Right now, the annoyance was higher than the fun bar. 

He was approaching the mall you worked at, and let out a deep sigh when he got closer. He was sure to mortals, it looked like a group of women were standing around and talking about whatever older women talked about. To him though, and anyone else that could see through the mist, the view was more sinister. 

Harpies. Not just one. Not two. Not even three. He didn't count them individually, but if he had to guess, there were at least ten. At least. 

Ten harpies. One demigod. 

One demigod that happened to be his child. 

All of that equaled one very pissed off god. 

The battle was short. The smart harpies flew away when they smelled him. The stupid ones were ripped limb from limb, beheaded and had holes put in them. 

Afterwards, he had a pep in his step. If there were at least ten outside, he could only imagine some made their way inside. 

By the time he found you, you had just stabbed your sword through a harpy’s throat. You pulled it out just as another harpy flew in the air. 

“MY SISTER!”, it shrieked. You looked up at it, no sense of fear in your body language. 

“You want more from the Child of Ares?! I have plenty to give!”. A sense of pride shot through him. 

You wouldn't get it unless you were him. He was the god of war for fucks sake, so not only was he watching a child of his in battle, but that same child used his name as a battle call. Sure, armies used to all the time, but it felt different when it was your kid. Once again, you wouldn't understand unless you were him. 

Unfortunately though, the fight was cut short. The harpy saw him and stopped, “L-L-Lord Ares. I-”. He didn't waste any time. He grabbed you and threw you at it, and watched as your sword lodged into the harpy and the wall. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked. 

“Saving your life”. 

Your face turned sour and he couldn't help but chuckle. Maybe you didn't know, but you looked the farthest from pleased. If he had to guess, you were probably thinking something like “I had everything 100% under control”. His children tended to have prides as big as Olympus itself. 

“Are you gonna catch me?” You asked.

 “What for?”

 “Because you threw me all the way to the fifth floor and it’d be nice not to break something”

 “You need me to warm up milk up for you too?”. Ares made smart ass remarks, and he expected you to make one back. Instead, you firmly planted your feet against the wall and pushed, and like a reflex he moved his arms so he could catch you. 

Ares couldn't remember the last time he held you. In all honesty, he wasn't sure he ever held you. He wasn't sure he held any of his kids. He used to. Time was hard to keep track of when you were immortal, but he remembers a time, maybe a hundred years ago, when he used to be present for his kids. Before rules were made and “couldn't” slipped its way into his vocabulary. He used to see his kids all the time. He'd actually keep track, help them on their journey and watch over them. When they died, he'd truly mourn them. 

Then rules were in place and now he kept his distance. When they died, did it hurt? Sure. Not as much as it used to though. A pro in a boatload of cons. 

When you slipped out of his hands, he noticed a few things. You were a few inches taller, and your hair had grown out. Such small things. Anyone else wouldn't notice, but because of his absence, he always noticed small things like that. He used to think “ok, whatever”. But now, he felt an aura of sadness. You, and the rest of his children, were getting older and he was never really there. 

He missed when he was just annoyed or angry when he saw his kids. Anger was way better than sadness. 

“I thought you're not allowed to interfere” you said, and he raised a brow. He thought it was real ironic that suddenly you cared for rules as if you hadn't been breaking them. 

“Are you gonna tell on me?”

“If you hadn't caught me”

“And now?”

“My lips are sealed”. He wasn't really bothered about you telling. Zeus would get over it, and you only knew about one fight. Not the others. 

He could've walked away and left it at that, but he didn't want to. Your words from last time kept ringing in his ears. 

“... If you asked me to extinguish the sun, I'd find a way to because to me… to me you were everything. You are everything”. 

He didn't know why it bothered him so much. Maybe it was because you were the only child of his that actually voiced how you felt. You made him feel guilty and that small amount of guilt cracked the walls and foundation he worked so hard to build mentally. 

Another thought crossed his mind. He didn't want this conversation to stop now. The gods were on borrowed time. Who knew when Zeus would get a bit nosey and he'd be forced to go? He craved what used to be normal hundreds of years ago, and even though it probably wouldn't be that way again, he could pretend for the time being. 

“You have money on you?” 

“Uh, yeah”

“You're paying for dinner. Let's go”. You owed him offerings anyway. 

“I can't” you said after you grabbed his arm. 

“Can't?”

“Yeah. I can't. My uh… my ride. Mom. She's coming to get me. You don't want mom knowing you're in town, right?”. Sneaky asshole. If he hadn't been watching, and if you hadn't paused so much, he would've believed you. 

He looked you up and down, debating on if he should pop your bubble now. 

“Just tax them another burger” he thought and didn't mention he already knew you were staying with Jackson and his mom. Instead, he told you the name of a diner nearby and to be there by noon tomorrow. There was no sneaking your way out of this one. 

~~~

Ares wouldn't say he was nervous. It just felt different. Not in a bad way either, which was alarming him. He enjoyed being around one of his kids, even though he was occupied with the Twitter war he started about vaccinations. 

You looked at him from across the table with a furrowed brow, and that's when he finally addressed you and told you what he was doing. 

He didn't know if you noticed this, but you made a little sound. Like you were beginning to scream but didn't. He looked up at you and you looked laser focused. Were you… were you screaming in your head? Alright. Maybe it was time to put the phone down before you popped a blood vessel. 

“You're probably wondering why I've called you here”

You squinted, “I'm wondering why I'm paying”

“Ask me”

“You know I wanna know though so why am I asking?”. He didn't respond. He just stared at you and tapped his foot on the floor loudly. He hoped it annoyed you as much as your smart mouth annoyed him. Maybe this was how parental relationships were supposed to feel though. It'd been so long. 

“Ares, the amazing God of War. The Protector of Mistreated Women. Wearer of biker jackets. I come before you as your humble child, begging thee to tell me what required my summons and why you were at the mall last night. Please please please tell me. I'll fall over and die if you don't”. Chiron was doing a terrible job when it came to teaching you manners and if you were anyone else, he would've gotten angry. Instead, he was mildly annoyed. 

He motioned towards the platter of burgers and fries, “this is your thank you. This is your offering to me since you haven't been doing that”. 

There it was. You visibly tensed now that you were caught. 

“You noticed?”

“I did. You demigods think you’re so smart. You have these big egos and think you’re ahead of us. You gave your offerings to Athena and Poseidon of all people” saying it out loud left a bitter taste in his mouth and he got angry again. Poseidon and Athena? Two gods that wouldn't have saved you from that mall incident. Two gods that didn't even try. In all the incidents you've had so far, it's been him trailing behind you and keeping you safe! “And then you stay with that fish boy and his mom. Yeah. I saw that too. And I save your life and you don’t seem the least bit grateful”.

“Yeah dad, I’m super grateful my life consists of monsters trying to eat me and a dad I only see once in a blue moon. Totally grateful”.

“We can’t interfere” he tried to defend his actions again. 

“Didn’t stop you last night”

He tsked, “I don’t get you. You complain about my absence then you complain when I’m here when I could be doing anything else!”. Ares kept putting his foot in his mouth. He was so bad at this, it was insane. Ares was never one to coddle his children, but he used to be able to be strict and stern without hurting someone's feelings… majority of the time. Sometimes things are said, but he didn't used to be this bad at it. What he should've done was apologize, but apologizing was never something he was good at. And if he apologized, he'd have to admit he was wrong and promise to do better, and he wasn't sure he could or that he even wanted to.

“Then go do those things. I’m not holding your hand and making you stay! And this isn’t about us and you know it. This is about you. This is about your ego being hurt. You don’t care about my safety. You didn’t go to the mall to protect me. You just love a fight and you were probably disappointed you couldn’t do more”. The scowl you had was so familiar, it was almost creepy. You weren't 100% his twin by any means. You had your own facial features, but dammit, anyone could tell by the scowl alone that you were his. It made that knife he couldn't get out twist a little more. 

You were so wrong. Sure, he was at the mall planning to set you straight but he genuinely did care about your safety. You had no idea how many monsters he killed or scared away that were tracking you down, and you had no idea about the other harpies outside the mall. The fact that you thought he didn't care about you at all, hurt him more than he ever wanted to admit. 

“That's what you think?” he asked. A tinge of anger in him, but mainly regret and sorrow. 

“That's what I know. And I didn’t need your help. I was just fine. The only thing you would’ve missed if I somehow died was your little offerings. I don’t matter to you. Just admit it so we can move on” he wanted to tell you how wrong you were, but you beat him to the punch. “And for your information Percy and Sally are very nice people. They feel more like family than you do”. 

The knife kept twisting. 

He wanted to share the blame. He wanted to find a way to blame you, or his other kids, or Zeus, but he knew he couldn't. Zeus was a problem. No point in denying that. But Ares could've always tried, and he didn't. He allowed himself to lie to himself over and over again about how he felt about his kids, and now it felt like you were slipping through his fingers and he wasn't strong enough to hold on. He wasn't fast enough to grab you. 

It got silent. He didn't know what to say. Ares hardly ever felt powerless, but that's exactly what he felt in this moment. Completely and utterly powerless. 

“Have you heard the song American Pie? Yes, it’s somewhat important to what I have to say. Yes or no only please”. He didn't need a mirror to know he looked unamused. What did a random song have to do with anything?

“I don't know. Maybe? Who cares?”. 

“There’s a line in the song that says this’ll be the day that I die. And for whatever reason it made me think about what I’d do if I were dying. If I woke up one day and I knew I was gonna die that day, what would I do? You wanna know what I realized?”. He leaned back in his chair. He had no idea where you were going with this but he might as well hear you out. “Shoot”. 

“I realized-” your voice wobbled and he did his best to not reveal how much it hurt to hear. “I realized I'd spend every second trying to make you love me”. 

The room stilled for him. Everything seemed to pause and he was left in a silent room. Everything was silent, except for his own heartbeat which thumped in his chest in an increasingly slow rhythm. 

If Ares was asked to describe how much those words tore him apart, he'd be at a loss for words. It was a feeling you'd only understand if you were a parent, and it was a feeling you'd hope you'd never feel. It was words you hoped you'd never hear. What was worse is that he only had himself to blame. Ares spent years lying to himself about how he felt. It became natural and sometimes he'd lie about things he didn't have to just because lying felt normal. It didn't feel that way anymore. It felt… he didn't know how to describe it. Each lie he's ever told in his life felt like it was being shot back at him at point blank range. He kept feeling various holes being shot in him and he had no idea how to cover them back up. 

When you started blinking, which was an obvious attempt to not cry and said “And I uh… I don’t wanna be that way anymore. And selfishly I hope that scares you” that knife kept twisting. 

“Gods don't feel fear” he lied. Gods felt fear. They were just better at hiding it. 

“Well whatever you wanna call it I hope you feel it. I hope -and I’m gonna keep calling it fear- I hope you feel afraid for what that means for us”. How defeated you looked filled his head with memories he wanted to keep buried. It reminded him of when he found you on that rainy night. It reminded him of when you started leaving cracks on his mental fortress. 

 “Allow me to humor you for a bit” all the sarcasm and hostility slipped from his voice now. He had a question but he wasn't sure he wanted the answer. “Why would you not wanting to spend your last day with me scare me?”

You gave him an answer and if he could go back, he wouldn't have asked at all. 

Ares knew that his kids wanted to bring honor to his name, and as demigods, it was kinda their job. With that being said, he still felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

Grief. 

Grief because your relationship was ending before it actually began. Hearing that you were intrigued by him before, and when you were claimed you read every story with him in it, only for all that excitement to be crushed… he wouldn't even wish this feeling on Athena, and on more days than not, he wanted to strangle her. It's a feeling you only wish on your worst enemies. 

“... And I hope the idea of me calling you Ares instead of dad terrifies you…”. 

It did. He never thought it would, but it did. Ares made many claims, like gods not dreaming or feeling fear but it was all false. Right now, he had a dream. A dream that this feeling would roll off him and he could go back to being how he was before. His fear was that that wouldn't be possible anymore. You cracked him. You broke his walls down but he was too late to welcome you in. He was too late to welcome any of his kids in. 

Everytime he tried to blame Zeus for his stupid rule, or Poseidon for welcoming you in before he did, it never stuck. He could only do so much blaming before he had to wake up and realize he wasn't fully innocent. None of the gods were perfect but some tried a lot harder than others. Why didn't he do that instead of convincing himself he didn't care for his kids?

“... and if you hate me I am begging you to have mercy and leave me be. No visiting. I won’t come to see you when we do that little field trip either. I’ll stay at camp or I’ll go bother another god. Hermes is really nice. And if I break my end of the deal you can do whatever you want to me. Turn me into an ant, rearrange my fingers, throw me down a flight of stairs at full force, whatever”.

He didn't hate you. He understood that a little too late. All of his kids thought the same? He understood why, but fuck. He missed when he was just angry. He missed how he was before he stopped to check on you that night. 

“You think, but you don't know anything” he managed to get out. Ares wasn't the type to cry, but his mind was going so fast and it was hard to slow it down. Each word that came out of your mouth twisted a knife inside of him more and more, and the injury was so severe, he could genuinely feel it. 

“Then tell me what I don't know”. 

Should he? Should he say anything? Should he tell you that he was sorry and he wanted to make things right, for not only you but for all of his children? Should he comfort you? Should he admit he was wrong? Should he go back to having a personal relationship with his children? Should he go back to fully mourning them when they passed?

No. 

What good would it do? Would he end up like Hermes? Paralyzed with grief for a son that wasn't even dead yet? Would him changing even mean anything anymore? He tried to be better, then what? He didn't even know how. He'd string his children along, making them believe it'd be better, then he'd be reminded of their impending deaths or the fact that gods couldn't be too close without there being a problem. Then he'd stop. Then his kids would push away harder. Then he'd be Ares, donor to many but father to none. 

“Sally's been waiting outside so…”

Wouldn't it be better this way? Let his favorite go and move on? Let the child that tore down his walls go and work on building them back up? Go back to being the Ares people expected?

“Yeah” he answered himself out loud. He let out a breath as he felt another twist inside him. “You want this?” he asked. 

“No” you said instantly. That voice wobble again… he was so much happier when people were angry with him. Anger he could take and give out, but he couldn't remember the last time someone was disappointed in him and he couldn't remember the last time he broke someone down without trying.  “No I don’t but this just seems like the best thing to do”. He didn’t argue with you even if he wanted to. 

Your hand went to reach inside your pocket for money but then he spoke again “keep it”.

Money was the last thing on his mind. 

“It’s no problem-”.

“Just keep it”.

You nodded. 

It fell silent for a moment. He could've just left, but he stayed seated. Ares from a couple years ago would probably feel lively and free, but Ares today? He felt like something was crushing him and that was hard to do. 

“Can you do me a favor?” 

“Another one?” he responded lifelessly. Pretending to be unaffected was exhausting, and he was beginning to feel the effects. 

“It's not a favor if you don't wanna see me either”. He didn't respond. He didn't feel like lying anymore. “Can we do that thing mortals do? You know, when they hug and say they love each other before they go their own way? Or maybe just the ‘I love you’ part”.

He stared at you as he debated on what to do. One on hand he knew if he did as you asked, it'd be harder to let you go. On the other hand, a war was brewing and if you fell in battle, he knew he'd have forever to live with the regret of not hugging you. 

So he stood up. 

You stood up. 

It's strange how something Ares hadn't done in years could feel so right. Like this was how it was always meant to be. Like he was always supposed to be the type of father that was so present, that his kids would hug him regularly. 

He felt warm. He didn't know how else to describe it. He was just warm. Imagine it's a freezing cold day and you're walking home from school. You walk and walk, trying to ignore how numb your hands feel and the cold nipping at your nose. The cold is terrible, but you remember you left the heat on and that idea alone warms your body and keeps you moving. That's how he felt as he held you. 

“I love you dad”. It was natural. He wished he heard it more often. 

Go back to the scenario from before. 

You get home, so excited about the heat, only to find out the heat is off. Maybe you turned it off and forgot. Maybe someone in your house did. Either way, it was off and the inside of your house is just as bad as outside. The cold feeling seems to get worse now that the warmth of hope is gone. That's how he felt when he said “I love you too”. 

He meant it, but that warmth faded when reality hit. This was it. There would be no more talks like this. This was only the second time and your talks never went the best, but he still valued them. Maybe he was wrong to have favorites and maybe he was wrong to feel so hurt when he caused this but he was in agony anyway. 

When the two of you pulled away and you left, the knife twisted one final time then cut straight through him. He watched as you left for a moment before he looked away and sat back down, the emptiness becoming loud. 

You wanna know how to keep your sanity intact as a god?

Don't care about your children. 

Don't care about anything. 

Stay detached. Stay far away. Stay to yourself and a few other gods you can tolerate. Don't think about your children. Put your walls up and don't ever let them down. 

Stay angry. Don't feel sorrow or sadness. You'll live forever and the chances of that grief getting better are slim. Stay angry because at least you'll look intimidating instead of weak. Let people make their assumptions. 

Just. Don’t. Care.

But as Ares looked to the side, towards an empty booth with a window that perfectly showed you sobbing in Jackson's car, and your seemingly new family being there for you… he wasn't sure he could do that anymore. 

Y’all I swear they will have a happy ending… just not right now. But before y’all beat my ass, y’all knew damn well this part had no chance of being happy. The happiness is coming! I swear! I think I got everyone on the taglist.

Taglist: @kyuupidwrites @chadmeeksmartinswifey @lebguardians @beansficreblogs @itzjustj-1000 @white-wolf-buckaroo @elsisenta @leathesimp @marshymallo

[blueikeproductions]

So the other TFONE Prime cards came out, so what I’ll do is just cover the ones I don’t have much to say about here.

First up Solus Prime.

Solus has had the weirdest design philosophies. This design seems to be primarily based on the Prime Wars webseries look.

Which is the superior design vs her original look which has this weird HR Geiger Species vibe I’m not fond of.

Solus’ primary claim to fame is being the first female Transformer, and the only one among the Primes, making most of the famous weapons in the general lore, and pry most tragic: getting shot by The Fallen and dying. Her body serving as the basis for the Well of Allsparks, meaning she functionally given birth to all Transformers going forward. There’s a… lot to unpack there, not helped is shows like RiD15 and Cyberverse use her name as an exclamation/cuss in “Sweet Solus Prime!” Unlike the older lore, ONE Solus dies by Sentinel’s actions, absolving Megatronus of the matter, which honestly I kinda prefer. Whether Solus and Megs were romantically involved here is unknown. I think what I’m most surprised by is the movie resisted giving Elita Solus’ Cog, since I guarantee older stuff would’ve done that. Outside of both being girls tho’, Solus does fit Elita’s hard working personality more than Alchemist and Onyx.

Nexus Prime

Not gonna lie, I’m kinda disappointed about this one. His gimmick is he’s the first Combiner, which again contradicts Aligned’s claim Amalgamous is the first converting robot with the first Cog. The ONE design pushes it more into a G1 Blitzwing direction, with vestigial nods to the combiner idea in that he looks to combine from a jet and tank in particular, again mirroring Blitzwing.

Though it also could be a reference to Flywheels.

Nexus Prime’s original designs nevertheless make his Combiner gimmick expressed more clearly.

So it feels like a bit of a downgrade to me. His gun shield looks like it formed from a tank component to me, but that could be a stretch… Maybe he really IS a Duocon in this universe.

Liege Maximo

If there’s one thing Liege is known for, it’s not having a consistent design.

As we’ve gone from whatever this is supposed to be…

To Loki because the MCU was really popular back then.

The new design still uses Marvel Loki as the basis, but dials it back considerably, instead making him more of a generic knight. Notably the inclusion of a sword is interesting, as Aligned states his weapons are poisonous Legion Darts. Maximo’s initial concept painted HIM as the first Decepticon, of which Megatron and the others are descended from, an evil being created by Primus to counterbalance the first Prime via G2. Because Megatronus later inherited a lot of this, he instead was cast as more of a manipulative trickster, still evil, but not to the same extent as his G2 version was. Liege Maximo is also the Prime of false starts, as his G2 and IDW selves were set up as the next major villain but cancellation saw this unresolved. G2 Liege Maximo saw conclusion in what was unofficial fan fiction written by Furman, while IDW Liege Maximo was unceremoniously killed by Shockwave-Onyx in the main book. His only role that saw a proper conclusion was in RiD15, where he was the villain of the day in a chapter book causing problems for the Autobots because he was bored in the Prime Realm and wanted a cheap thrill. RiD is also the only place his Loki like characteristics were played around with. Because the Primes in ONE appear to all be benevolent, it’s not clear if Megatronus or Liege Maximo are still supposed to be the evil ones or not, but the more heroic looking Liege says no to me.

Amalgamous Prime

The mad lads finally made this horrifying thing work.

Pushing it into a four armed ED-209 direction is much better, and frankly going by his more “primitive” build, they can easily make future Shockwave toys into Amalgamamous. This guy’s claim to fame in the modern lore is being the first actual Transformer with the first Cog, which again is contradicted by Nexus and (possibly) Onyx also being able to Transform… Aligned lore says his Cog informed all future robots on Cybertron of the ability to Transform, but ONE streamlines it that ALL the Primes had Cogs and the ability to Transform, making Amalgamous somewhat redundant. Aligned also claims his direct descendants are “Shifters”, Transformers with omni transformation, rather than the standard robot to vehicle.

Aligned didn’t really do much with this concept because you can’t realistically make a toy of such a thing nor is it feasible to have them as reoccurring characters for both expenses and being OP, with TFP Makeshift and RID15 Pseudo being depicted as shadow creatures in their default mode. The Shifters haven’t returned post Aligned so I think it’s an abandoned concept. Future stuff I would assume would instead say Triple Changers and Six Changers are AP’s direct descendants since they’re much easier to work with in toy and fiction. His new Robot Mode makes me think he turns into a tank, but I’m also not sure if his head is his chest or not….

Vector Prime

Aside from his head and colors, the TFONE version is straight up the original Galaxy Force version.

Though his colors evoke one of Vector Prime’s influences, the Marvel G1 Last Autobot.

Vector Prime’s best known role is in Cybertron/Galaxy Force, where as the Primus appointed guardian of time, he joined the Autobots of the present day to find the Cyber Planet Keys to close the Black Hole that threatened the universe, as it was the end of time. Galaxy Force also showed Vector Prime can manipulate time, but it was a drain on his energy, and using it too much would kill him. Notably he used a brief display of this early on to save the kids and Mini-Cons from certain death, but I guess this version of Vector couldn’t do the same to defeat Sentinel & the Quints…

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hi Fen! Hope you're doing well <3

I've been having such a hard time going to sleep lately and I was wondering if the moon boys ever have that problem - when they're not trying to stay up that is. So what do you think? Do any of them have trouble falling asleep? What do they do when that happens? And how do you think they'd help a Reader who couldn't fall asleep?

I’m so sorry you’re having trouble sleeping! (And that it’s taken me so long to reply) I hope you're doing better now <3

Rating: PG  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: brief mention to sex

Steven

Doesn’t have trouble sleeping, and can go to sleep quite easily when he’s not fighting it AND when Marc isn’t co-fronting (Marc’s sleeping issues bleed over into Steven).

When you can’t sleep though Steven is more than happy to stay up with you.

“Spend most of my adult life on 2 hours of sleep a day, didn't I? Yes. So this isn’t even water off a duck’s back, this is air off a duck’s back, this is not even noticeable love.” 

Will suggest lots of different things to do: reading (he will read to you if you want to try to sleep), watch something, listen to music, go on a weird London at 3:30am walk, “the night tube is running and we could go to 24 hour karaoke in Soho?”, “did you know these libraries are open at 4am?”, “I know a 24 gym that has a pool, we could go swimming!”, “Beckenham Place Park actually has open water swimming, I bet we’d be the only ones there! But I’m gonna wear a nose clip because I don’t want possible brain-eating amoeba up my nose, do I? No.” Proceeds to tell you a documentary's worth of information about Naegleria fowleri and how it was found in 1978 in Bath, so “yes it is in the UK Marc.”

Basically he’s full of ideas about where to go in the middle of the night that’s open because that’s what he used to do when he was trying not to sleep. (Also it’s nice to do things when there’s not so many people about.) 

Will suggest driving to a spot he knows outside of London where there’s less light pollution to look at the stars. Will wake up Jake to do the driving. Will bully the hell out of Khonshu if the sky isn’t clear. (And will make him get rid of the cloud.) 

100% would ask if you would like him to fuck you to sleep.

Marc

He’s not asleep either. 

Usually gets Steven or Jake to fall asleep for him.

However, if they’re already asleep, or not available, he goes with the ‘I am laying down with my eyes closed, because it’s still resting’ philosophy. 

He tries not to toss and turn a lot, but he does bless him. 

Has tried to drink himself to sleep on several occasions. 

Doesn’t like to see you having trouble sleeping at all and spends ages fussing over you. 

Fluffs the pillows, gets extra blankets, gets less blankets, turns the heating on, gets the fan out, will run you a bath and put all the lavender stuff in and make you 500 herbal teas, then change the bed covers. 

Will offer to sleep on the sofa or the floor so he doesn’t disturb you while you’re trying to sleep. (Then apologies when you obviously hate the idea of him being away from you.)

Is giving ALL the cuddles, however you want them. Will lay in the most uncomfortable position for himself for you to be comfy (will not tell you the position is uncomfortable for him.)

Tells you the most outrageously made up stories in quiet hushed tones to help lull you to sleep and then acts mock offended if you doubt that anything he says didn’t really happen.

Makes you cum on his mouth repeatedly until you’re so exhausted you have no choice but to fall asleep.

Jake

Can actually fall asleep anywhere at any time. 

I still firmly believe that before Steven and Marc know about him he would front just to go to sleep because they are so bad at getting some shut eye and constantly run the body into the ground.

Has melatonin tablets and a whole pharmacy's worth of sleeping aids to share. 

Will 100% take you for a drive to try to get you to fall asleep (or just to take you somewhere if you want, or if Steven has woken him up to drive.)

“Jake, I need you to drive to-”

“Steven… It's bedtime, time for sleep. No driving.”

“Oh, but S/O is having trouble sleeping and-”

Jake is already out of bed with his car keys in hand.

Will offer to be your weighted blanket and lay all over you. 

Says he will threaten Khonshu to keep the sun down so you can rest if it takes you a while to get to sleep. 

Tries to (lovingly) bore you to sleep by counting sheep out loud and in detail. “This one is a Merino sheep, the ones that are very fluffy. Her name is Harold. She likes grass, but not clover. Which is unusual for a sheep. So that’s one so far, one sheep. Now this next one is…”

Doesn’t offer sexy times because he doesn’t want to be pushy, however if you suggest it he’s happily all over you.

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

@raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @whatthefishh @mbakubabe @romanarose @pimosworld @jake-g-lockley @saturn-rings-writes @boredzillenial @lonelyisamyw-0love @melodygatesauthor @steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @queerponcho

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[undercoveravenger]

Motivators

Pairing: Isaac Lahey x Scientist!Male!Reader

Requested: Yes

Request: “okay for the spooky request could you write Isaac lahey x scientist reader who doesn’t believe in the supernatural but they are hunting a ghost and reader and Isaac make a bet where if they do find the ghost reader owes Isaac a kiss or something”

A/N: This is the third fic in the 2023 Spooky Month event! The next post will release on Tuesday, October 24th. Hope you enjoy!

-----

While your best friend Scott McCall and his pack were no strangers to your lab, you still found yourself a bit on edge with Scott’s beta, Isaac. You had known of him before he was turned, and he had seemed nice enough the few times you had interacted with him, but there had always seemed to be something off, even after Scott had told you the truth about his friends. You weren’t sure exactly why Isaac made you so uneasy, but the weight of his eyes, whether glowing their infamous werewolf gold or his pretty every-day blue, was ever present and unreadable. 

Even now, with the rest of the pack off investigating the most recent victim of a vengeful spirit, Isaac lingered, perched on one of the spare lab tables pushed against the wall and watching you intently. 

“You didn’t have to wait here,” you say, ardently refusing to look at him, studying the strange glowing sample they’d brought you through the viewing lens of your microscope. “You heard Scott- He thinks he’s got a lead. You could’ve gone with him to check it out.”

A soft huff escapes Isaac and you can hear him shift behind you, moving from his seat on the opposite table to come lean against the one you’re working at. “No,” he says quietly, “I needed to be here.” He’s silent for a minute and you almost think to press him further when he continues, “I know you don’t need me to be here, but I need to be.” He clears his throat awkwardly when you look up at him, but he presses on, in spite of the thick blush clouding his cheeks. “I worry about you a lot when I’m not around you, y’know? Not just that you’re just a human, but that you’re you.”

You studied Isaac for a long moment, a sort of self-satisfied amusement creeping through you as he fidgets under your gaze, clearly having said more than he meant to and exposing his emotions in the process. 

“You really think that you’re going to catch this ghost?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest as you watched him. 

He nodded, grinning shyly, “Yeah. With you and Scott working together to find it? No way we don’t.”

Whenever you’d caught Isaac looking at you in the past, the look in his eyes was always intense, but he was unreadable in the same way that the old Latin tombs that Allison had swiped from her family’s archives for you had been. But in the same way you had learned to decipher those ancient books, you were starting to see the meaning behind those lingering stares and Isaac’s looming presence. He’d never seemed malicious to you, not even before he’d joined Scott’s pack, but now you could see that determined distance for what it was.

You rolled your eyes and turned back to your sample, but couldn’t stop the edge of your lips from quirking up as you spoke. “You find it and I owe you a kiss.”

While you were no longer looking at him, you could pick out the exact moment Isaac realized what you’d said since you could hear his sneakers squeak against the floor as he struggled to catch himself from falling. “I- I, uh, I-” he stammered and you could practically hear how flustered he was. “I’m- I’m gonna go call Scott and see if his lead panned out. Y’know, we uh, we really need to get rid of this ghost thing before it hurts someone else. We should- We should really do everything we can to catch it as soon as possible, right?”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he hurried out of the room, and you laughed even harder when you were able to pick up the excited whoops echoing in from outside of your lab from Isaac and Scott over the phone line.

[frightenedcricket]

DECAY. PT 4: Glue for a broken heart.

Noah Sebastian x OC. Smut.

Summary: The break is maybe what Abby needed the most. It's not easy, but she is slowly getting better. So much better. Noah is there to see it, but needs to make sure everything is fine.

Pt1: The Fall. Pt2: Bring Back the pieces. Pt3: Rock Bottom?

Note: not edited.

Warning: +18. Actual smut. Fingering. PinV. MF. Wet dream. Mentions of masturbation. Kind of voyeurism (Noah wants to see)

Three days had gone by and Abby was feeling way better. She had rested a lot, cleaned the house, washed her clothes. She had gotten rid of everything that could bring bad memories. It hadn't been easy days, with therapy and the A. A. meetings. They had moved around the relapse and in the end she was exhausted.

The guys had been awesome. Yeah, it had only been three days, but that fear of being alone in her studio, spending hours and hours watching TV, was long long gone.

"Okay... I feel kind of bad throwing this away do I thought of bringing it all here" She said while leaving the bags in the table.

"Beer?"

"And vodka" Jolly said pulling a half full bottle.

Abby grabbed Folio's shoulders, who was sitting in the table.

"C'mon, you will enjoy it. It was that or the drain. I feel bad wasting it"

Noah was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, while he watched the whole scene.

"There is a but"

They all looked at her.

"You have to promise me to be careful. And think of me when you want to get wasted. Because I swear that if I see any of you sinking on this shit I'm gonna go and drag you out of this hell personally"

Folio looked up at her. "I promise"

She kissed his head and squeezed him with her ams.

Jolly got up and grabbed the bottle. Without a word, he walked to the sink and emptied it.

"Hey!"

"This is yours. This fucked you up. We are getting rid of it"

"Guys, you don't need to stop drinking..."

"That's not the thing. Come here and empty one. C'mon, Abbs"

She giggled and walked to him with another bottle. Jolly hugged her shoulders. "We are all really proud of you"

It was a fun night. Abby cooked for them, talking about something she had seen on Instagram. The night felt easy, they were all relaxed, there was light conversation and it helped to forget about what had been happened.

"How is it going?" Nicholas asked Noah when they were cleaning the kitchen.

"Good. She is doing good."

"Really?" Nicholas smiled.

"Yeah, it has only been three days and she had the meeting and therapy and all. But I think she needed to rest."

"Are you letting her?" Nicholas smirked, but when Noah tensed he cleared his throat. "Sorry"

"No... Uh... We are not doing that."

"I thought... I... Uh"

"Not yet there. She's having..."

"Noah, you don't need to tell me"

But Noah needed to talk.

"I think... Can we go outside?"

Nicholas nodded.

They both sat outside in silence for a bit.

"Abby is dealing with some stuff right now. We are not having sex because she needs to solve that first"

Nicholas nodded.

"So... How do you do? When you two are alone?"

"I have been sleeping on the sofa. But it's fine. We usually crash there and fall sleep. Only yesterday I woke up alone"

Nicholas chuckled.

"But the thing is... I don't know how to do it. Once she is back and wants sex with me. I don't know what to do"

Nicholas remember to have this conversation years ago, when they were still kids and Noah was about to have his first time. Nicholas had more experience by then - even if he was just another stupid boy too self focused - and Noah had went to him, blushing and making him promise to not tell anyone.

"We are back there, huh?"

"Shut up" Noah shoved him a bit. "It's different now because I can hurt her. Not on purpose, obviously. But I can trigger something without even knowing. And I don't want that for her."

Nicholas took a deep breath.

"It sounds... Difficult.. But I suppose you should let her take the lead"

"But if she asks me to? What if what she likes is me taking control?"

"Don't do it if you don't want to, Noah" Nicholas was stern, his blue eyes making Noah uncomfortable. "Tell her. Tell her you don't want to"

Noah ran his hands over his hair.

"And if you do want to. Just make sure where the limits are"

Noah nodded slowly. "I'm almost thirty and asking for sex advice"

Both of them laughed. "Yeah... You knew where to ask though"

"It worked the first time"

"Did it?"

They both shared a knowing look and laughed again. "She didn't leave immediately"

They laughed again.

"Thank you, Nicky"

"It's nothing. I hope it goes well"

"Yeah, me too. She deserved good things"

Nicholas sighed and patted Noah's back. "So do you. Let's get inside, your girl is back."

When they walked inside, Abby was already waiting in the sofa with the others. When Noah sat next to her and they nested unter the blanket, she pecked his neck.

"All good?"

Noah kissed her forehead and nodded.

"Yeah"

"I was thinking we could crash here tonight"

Noah smile and nodded. "Okay"

Two hours later, Noah found Abby on the middle of his bed already under the covers.

"I don't want to make a big deal of it. But we have never shared a bed"

"Haven't we?"

"We did once in Buffalo but Folio was still there and Jolly was on the floor next to me"

Noah climbed on the bed and knelt in front of here.

"Are you okay with this?"

She nodded.

"I am"

Noah smiled and leaned on his hands to kiss her. Abby sighed happily and ran her hands over his hair. She took the control fast, her heart beating so fast Noah could probably hear it if he got close enough. There were things on her mind. So many things. Plans, a to-do list, dreams,... The kiss wasn't deep enough. Noah wouldn't give in.

"Noah" She said pulling back. "Let go"

"What?"

"You are tense"

He licked his lips and sat back on his heels. "Abby..."

"What?" She sounded too annoyed.

"Do you want this now?"

"I do"

Noah sighed. "Isn't it too soon?"

Abby retrieved her legs to her chest and hugged them. Olivia had given her green light. She had said she could start trying if she was ready for it.

"I don't think so" She frowned.

Noah sighed. "Don't look at me like that. We said we would talk. You have to tell me your stuff before trying anything, Abby."

"I don't want to spend my whole life planning how I'm gonna fuck next"

Noah took a deep breath. He was exhausted.

"Abby, listen... It's not like we have to plan our sex life. But this is the first time after everything and I don't want to start anything that will end up with you crying"

"I'm not gonna end... I told you to not treat me like a fragile doll"

"I'm not!" Noah fisted his hands on his sweats. "What did you say about your triggers? Huh? You have to find them. I'm so damn happy if you have already found them. But you need to tell me what they are because I don't want to hurt you. And believe me, I can"

The way he whispered those last words made her skin crawl. She stuttered when she tried to speak again.

"I need you to help me"

Noah took a deep breath. He knew what he liked and what he was into. He knew how to do it.

"If you want my help I need you to tell me. Talk to me" Noah felt a knot on his throat as he said the following words. "I won't have sex with you without knowing what I'm doing"

Abby's mouth fell open. The statement felt like a cold water bucket. Without saying a word, she moved to the side of the bed ready to get up. But Noah was faster and grabbed her by the wrist. With a swift pull, she fell on the bed and he climbed on her lap, his big hands cradling her face.

"You like this?"

She was speechless, too shocked to even move.

"Abby, I need you to talk to me or we won't go anywhere further"

She bit her lip. Was she feeling fear? Not really, it was Noah. She didn't fear he would hurt her. But anxiety sat now on her stomach.

"I'm not ready"

Noah sighed and leaned to press a sweet kiss on her lips. "There it is" He rolled to lay next to her. He didn't bother to move the leg that fell across her lap. He only pulled her closer in a hug.

"Tell me how it is going?"

"I touched myself" She muttered. "And it's working. Three times actually."

Noah smiled.

"I heard you"

She blushed so hard, the embarrassment pushing that anxiety away.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm happy you are healthier. And I can't wait to be the one pulling those little sounds of you"

"Oh lord, I can't believe you" She moved to hide on his chest, which only made him laugh and reach out to grab the blanket.

"We are good like this, Abbs. Keep touching yourself. It's fine for me."

She groaned and hugged him.

"The only thing that scares me is the pain, Noah"

"I won't hurt you, Abby. Ever"

"Could we try? I really want to try"

"We will. I promise. Just... Not now, okay?"

She nodded and closed her eyes. Noah pulled her closer.

Her eyes opened at 6am. Her cheeks were burning and she was sweating. The cover was too thick and Noah was right there pressed to her. She turned slowly. He was to warm too.

"What are you doing?" He muttered half asleep.

"I'm too hot"

"Yes you are..."

"Idiot"

"Take your pyjama off" He muttered. "It's too early"

She blushed even more. Take her pyjama - Folio's pyjama - off?

"Uh..."

Noah fully opened his eyes. "It's fine"

"I know it's fine" She roller her eyes. In a big act of pride, she sat on the bred and wiggled out of the worn out clothes before throwing them away.

Noah smiled to himself. The light was dim, but he could the the phantom of her tattoos all over her body - not as much as his, but still a lot. She was wearing a black cotton underwear set. She was so damn pretty.

"Better?"

She nodded.

"Come back here"

Abby cuddled next to him again, noticing that he had gotten rid of his trousers at some point too. Noah circled her shoulders.

"I don't want to hear from you until at least 11."

She chuckled softly.

"Okay"

It was Noah who broke his own rules. He didn't know how it happened - he had an idea, though-, but he woke up laying on his belly and feeling way too good down there. He stayed still.

Was I humping the damn mattress?

Abby was deep in her sleep with a leg crossed over his lower back and a hand between his shoulder blades. He wonder how he hadn't one her up when she was pressed to his side.

Noah moved his head to face her. Her lips were half open and she looked just too pretty. He couldn't remember what he was dreaming of, but for sure it was about her and the way she felt against him.

"Go back to sleep" Abby whispered without opening her eyes. She moved the hand on his shoulder to the back of his head and threaded her fingers on his hair. It was so unconsciously, probably pushed by the way his body had reacted to that dream or how turned on he currently was, but he moaned when she pulled slightly.

Abby's eyes shot open and stared at him in silent for too long. They didn't move for a while. Noah could only think of being caught with a hard on by the woman he was probably dreaming of.

"Noah?"

"Mhm" He was red from his face to his chest, lucky to be laying down and hide half of it.

"What was that?"

"Uh"

Abby pulled a bit and Noah closed his eyes, this time he hissed. His hips moved by instinct. Abby felt something lit inside of her.

"Fuck" He breathed out. If he didn't stop, he would come. "I need to..." He moved out of her grip and turned around. "I have something to deal with" He said but didn't move. Leaning on his elbow, he looked at her.

She was laying on her side with her arm falling acrosed her belly. She looked so damn beautiful with her hair like that. Then the way her eyes moved down his body to the tent under the covers... Wow, he shivered. Only Abby could awake the kind of things she did.

She breathed in and put for a moment, pondering the options. She could let him go to the bathroom and deal with it alone. Or she could just finish what she had started.

"Noah..."

He groaned.

"If you say my name like that..."

"Can we..."

Noah blinked fast, his chest heaving slowly.

"Do you want to?"

Abby nodded and moved her hand over her body. There was no intention on it plus easing the burning feeling go her skin.

"Wanna show me?" He asked. "Hm... Tell me, what do you do when you are alone?"

Abby gasped a bit.

Noah was only looking for a break. He needed a minute to not cum right and there at the first touch. He sat on the bed and moved to face her. "Open this pretty legs for me"

His words worked like magic. Abby laid on her back and opened her legs, leaving each one fall to his sides. He smirked and ran his hands over her thighs.

"Go on"

Abby bit her lip and closed her eyes. She was already so turned on. It was ridiculous. His moan? Music to her ears... She couldn't wait to hear it again. As her mind wandered, her hands reached her chest.

"Show me, baby. I want to see how pretty you are"

She moved the straps down and pushed the bra. Noah helped a bit and smiled when he could finally see them. Abby couldn't stop the grin on her lips. He was really into her. There was some hunger in his eyes she had never seen in anyone else.

Her hands covered her breasts and Noah felt jealous of her. Then she moaned so sweetly and his fingers gripped her thighs hard - not enough to hurt but enough to give him a grip to reallity.

"I want your mouth... Noah..."

"Just give me a second, baby... I need to watch this..."

One of her hands traveled lower. Noah admired the goosebumps on her skin. But instead of disappearing under her panties, they climbed over Noah's chest until they reached his mouth. And he took them in. Eagerly, he sucked her fingers with his eyes closed and a low groan coming from his chest. Abby moaned at the feeling. It was getting so intense that it was turning difficult to breathe.

"So good..." She praised as Noah bobbed his head slightly. He was so flustered and hot when she pulled her fingers back and moved her panties to the side. Harshly, he took his t-shirt of and threw it back.

When she finally - without teasing she couldn't bear it - circled her fingers around her clit, the moan was louder. Noah was a sight to be seen. Panting and almost naked between her legs, watching her like a hungry animal but also so ready to give in everything she asked for, with his hair falling on the sides of his face and his tattooed chest already bright with sweat and his lips wet with saliva. It was the fuel she needed.

"You are so beautiful like this, so pretty and ready for me. So wet... Look at you" She whined at her words. "Can I touch you, baby?"

Abby nodded eagerly. Noah, who had dreamt of this for way too long, didn't waste any time. His long fingers gathered some wetness and moved over her entrance. He wanted to look at her face, he didn't want to miss how she bit her lip and closed his eyes. But he couldn't tear his eye from his fingers, slowly disappearing in her as she moved her own faster.

"N-Noah..." She sounded so out of breath that Noah worried for a second.

"Breathe, sweetheart. I'm right here... I'm gonna make you feel so good, yeah? Will you help me?"

"Yes"

Noah moved his fingers slower that hers that was making her squirm. She was so desperate for a release, she wanted to feel Noah closer. She needed to feel him completely.

His free hand finally decided to wander over her body and feel her for the first time. Her skin was soft and her tattoos looked too pretty on her. There it was, on her ribs, one he helped Nicky design. It had been a silly bet but oh it looked so beautiful on her - they couldn't just give their dear Abby some shitty piece.

"Noah..." She dragged his hand to her breast and he groaned.

"Oh honey, I love these..."

"Show me... I need you. I need your mouth..."

Because yeah, Abby had a thing with that pretty mouth of his, and his hands, his arms, his thighs, his back, his hair... There wasn't a corner she didn't want to kiss, bite, suck... She could devour him if he let her.

Noah leaned in and trapped her nipple on his mouth.

"Mmm fuck, Noah..." She grabbed his hair once more and he growled. The pleasure keep building in her and his mouth now only made it worse...

Noah devoured her chest while feasting on the sweet sounds she made. He needed help too, he needed a release.

"I need you, baby... I need you so bad" He said moving up to her lips.

"Okay..."

"Yeah?"

"Please"

Both of them pulled their hands away and she whimpered. Noah sat on his heels once more to watch her.

"Are you okay?

She nodded slowly.

"Words"

"I am. Just... Keep it like this. You are doing so good"

"Am I? A good boy?" He teased.

She chuckled and reached to the back of his neck.

"Well explora that another day."

"Oh yes we will. Now you will be my good girl, right?"

She shivered and her eyes opened big. They both froze for a second.

"Was that..."

Abby kissed him. "It's okay... Uh... I'm fine"

"Yeah?"

"I promise"

Noah pecked her lips and got the condom. It was mouthwatering and she waited so patiently.

"I want to feel you, Noah"

"You will" He said with a smirk.

"Close, I need to feel you really close"

Abby had been without him for so long. She had slept with so many people and hated everytime it was his name and not theirs the one she screamed. She had tried so hard to not think of him. And now Noah was there, he was real and she was suffocating.

Noah entered her slowly. He was so sensitive he had to take deep breath.

"Noah..." She cried his name. Finally. Oh lod, she had him. She was finally with Noah and she was okay. They were okay. She didn't need to pretend, to try to not think... She was there with him and he felt so good in her.

He could feel her desperation, her nails digging on his skin - probably marking his back all over his tattoos - and her legs tight around him.

"I'm here... I'm here..." He moved slow, with deep thrusts, his hand cupping her face so gently. "I'm with you"

Abby whimpered desperately and kissed him, so deep and slow. The pent up tension was over the clouds for both of them. They were already on the verge. But they needed it to last.

"I'm gonna cum... Noah... Please..."

"Just a bit more. Give me a bit more... I need this..."

Noah wasn't sure for how long he had been waiting this, but now he had it and was already addicted to her.

She cried in pleasure and bit his shoulder. It was overwhelming, the pleasure and the emotions, the connection... Abby couldn't stop it, the orgasm washed over her like a wave and she lost the control of her body.

"Oh... Fuck... Abbs..."

Noah couldn't take it either. With a particularly hard and deep thrust he pulled a yelp out of her - and made the bed hit the wall way too hard. He collapsed on her still trembling body. Noah was definitely a moaner, but this... He was whimpering. He was too sensitive and overstimulated.

Seconds passed and Abby couldn't breath. It had been hard and overwhelming, her sensed had somehow collapsed and she could barely hear over the ringing on her ears. She was over the clouds, lost somewhere far but too conscious that it was Noah's body trapping her there.

It was him, who felt her shaking and looked up, who noticed she was crying.

"Abbs" Fear washed over him. "Abby, baby"

Still in her, sweaty and sticky bodies pressed together, Noah cupped her cheeks.

"Abbs sweetheart..."

With little kisses over her face and neck, Noah cooed her. "Baby..."

She seemed to regain consciousness as her hands moved over his body, palming everywhere to try and prove he was real and with her.

"Noah..." She sobbed.

"Yeah, it's me. It's me. I'm here. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She was okay, she was more than okay because she was with him.

"Talk to me... Don't scare me"

Tears flooded down her face, too much for Noah to dry them all.

"I love you..." She said finally opening her eyes.

Abby craddled his face and kissed his lips, slowly and deep, savouring his mouth and her tears and making him rut into her again. Slow movements that dragged the pleasure a bit more, that made them both realize it was completely real and they were together. That for now it was just them and it was alright.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, love" She whispered. "You didn't hurt me"

Noah smiled when her lips moved over his face to de side of his neck, dragging her tongue over the apple and the snake and then to his freckled shoulders. He was in drowning in pure bliss.

"I've never felt like this" She whispered back on his lips.

"I haven't either"

Noah grabbed a hand full of her ass and thrusted again, hearing those sweet sounds she made. "I just... You feel so damn good"

She kissed him again. "Too much"

"Yeah?"

She nodded. Both of them were too spent and overstimulated, so Noah pulled out and fell on her side. They were panting, Abby still crying.

"Those are happy tears, right?" He asked with a trembling voice.

"Yeah..."

Noah kissed her head and got up.

"Fuck... My knees are shaking"

Abby laughed when Noah awkwardly walked around the room. He got rid of the condom and cleaned himself with his own t-shirt.

"Noah..."

"I'll wash it..."

He walked back to the bed and grabbed her so gently.

"C'mon. Let's go to the bathroom"

"I'm naked..." She dragged her words. She was so damn exhausted.

Noah was able to get her to dress and walk to the bathroom. It was quite dreamy, to be honest. They brushed their teeth together and everything, he waited for her to shower while they had light conversation.

"You better not be fucking again in there" They heard through the door.

"Oh shit, I forgot..."

"That we were in a house full of people!"

"Yeah"

Noah chuckled.

"Me too. I don't give a fuck either so..."

Abby dried and got dressed under his gaze, not understanding how she could already be so comfortable.

"You are really pretty"

"Thank you..."

She kissed his tattooed arm.

When they appeared in the kitchen, there were all smirks and annoyed gazes. There was no point in between.

"You took it seriously, I see" Nicholas whispered when he and Noah were preparing the breakfast.

Noah chuckled.

"It was her."

"Poor Noah, he had to fuck the girl of his dreams because she asked too"

Noah wouldn't tell how he had waken up. He couldn't take more tease.

"Shut up, dickhead"

"I'm happy for you, man. It went well, right?"

Noah nodded. "Man, I was shaking when we finished"

Nicholas laughed. "Fantastic then"

"Noah you better not be telling Nicholas..." Abby called from the table. She could see their smiles and hear their whispers.

"Oh dear, we already know. I swear" Jolly said and everyone laughed.

"Hey, don't embarrass my best friend, asshole!" Folio threw cereal at him.

"No fighting!"

"We'll be more quite next time. I promise." Noah sat next to Abby and winked at her.

She was feeling good. She was happy about it, how it had happened and how she had felt. She couldn't have asked for.

"I can muffle him next time"

Like that, Noah blushed so deeply and everyone laughed loudly.

"Little shit" He pinched her leg with a smile.

Noah was so relieved. He had been so nervous and anxious about it. He had planned everything on his mind and considered everything that could go wrong. But he didn't need all of that. He just needed to listen to her after all.

"Well, Abby has a cute little flat far enough for us to not hear so..." Folio suggested. "I love you guys and I'm happy you have fun but..."

"Yeah yeah, I promise. It wasn't planned" She chuckled and linked her finger with her best friend's.

Noah looked at her with a smile. That was all he wanted. It was what he had been waiting for.

Oh I think this one got out of hand.

Pt. 5: The Rise.

[shelbgrey]

Hello 👋

If you’re still talking requests, Can I request 16 and 21 for Egon Spengler please ?

Hold on, I love you (Egon spengler)

Paring: Egon spengler x Fem!Reader

Summary: Egon and y/n have never had the guts to admit their feelings in fear of ruining the friendship that's dear to them, but why dose it take an accident during a call for him to tell y/n he loves her.

A/n: jeez, I write one original flash-fic in my creative writing class and I re-enter my Angst era. This is lossly based off one of my assignments in creative writing. And this is way longer than I anticipated, I just sorta blacked out and had this, the beginning sucks but it gets better, I promise.

Prompts:

1.6) “I need to know if it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.” - “in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are”

2.1) “i love you in every universe”

MasterList

Egon was a man of little words most of the time, it never bothered him or his friends. That was until y/n showed up, she was the younger cousin of Peter Venkman. Unlike her older cousin she was very soft spoken, happy, and the kindest person any of the Ghostbusters ever met. She also knew a butt load of supernatural stuff so there was no question about it when she joined the team.

When she joined she was immediately welcomed with open arms and it was as if she was there from the very beginning, she soon found a best friend in Ray and Winston.

What the team would have never anticipated was the life that she awoke in Egon, the two bonded over science and snacks and soon the two were glued to the hip. Peter had a hay day with that. Egon just seemed more happier and less robotic when she was around. Then it seemed everyone knew they liked each other except the two of them.

They would sneak loving glances at one another and Peter or Winston would always catch them. Then it just became something the team had to ride through, the bet they all set wasn't even fun anymore.

Fast forward to today, it's a normal day at the firehouse. Of course the day starts off with the gentle smiles and glances between y/n and Egon or as Peter puts it 'their mind numbing mating ritual.

Anyway, what the team called normal was not even getting through breakfast before they were called in a case. The call wasn't totally unusual but after y/n did her usual 'Sam Winchester' research hour they anticipated the poltergeist isn't like anything they dealt with before, sure poltergeists weren't unusual but this one might be more powerful and be classified as a vengeful spirit.

The call was from a real estate company. They were trying to sell an old mansion just outside of New York but when they went to clean and remodel they ran into the poltergeist. They were apparently threatened with a lawsuit if they didn't get rid of the ghost.

~~~~~~~~(1st pov)~~~~~~~~

“this poltergeist is a lot more powerful than what we dealt with before so be careful everyone…” Egon said climbing out of Ecto-1, Peter clapped his hands together and rubbed them together like a villain would in a poorly made cartoon. “ooh, I like them feisty”

I rolled my eyes as I let a chuckle slip past my lips “and please for the love of God don't tease the ghost” I said unloading my protonpack.

Peter slapped his hand over his heart, acting offended. “Miss. L/n, how dare you accuse me of such accusations… I Do not do that”

“oh yeah, remember what happened last call?” Winston said.

“yeah, like when you said you were gonna pretend to be a priest” I said with my fist on my hip.

“and quoted the exorcist a dozen times” Ray added.

“not my fault Casper didn't want to talk about JC”

Peter walked in front of us and stared down the dark hallway “don't piss the ghost off too much pete” I mumbled as I scanned the area with my EMF meter.

Peter gave me a cheeky grin and turned to the back of the dark room. “Oh, boy!” he hollered. “I'm sooo lost, I hope there isn't some ancient supernatural poltergeist that could possibly gobble my sexy body here”

“really?” Winston asked with a crooked eyebrow.

“it amazes me you have a wife” I added with a chuckle as Egon strung some kinda trip wire, It would act similar to a salt circle.

The dark Hallway rumbled and hissed. Peter smirked again. “Come on Honey, don't be shy!” The pitch black hallway rumbled and shook as the poltergeist charged forward, it stood ten feet tall and had a black hooded-roab that covered its unnatural form. It also had four red eyes and sharp claws. When is snarled you cold see dozens of sharp teeth covered in saliva and blood.

The poltergeist tried to charge at Peter with its claws but it was whipped back due to the proton-line Egon set up. Peter snorted and covered his laugh with his hand as the poltergeist floated around angry.

“Change of plans honey, you ain't snakin' on me” Peter joked then looked over his shoulder at us. “I'm just too handsome to be eaten”

Before he could turn back around the poltergeist coughed up a chunk of slime, Peter quickly dodged it, preventing days of scrubbing slime out of his hair. “ha, not today sucker!”

Peter started laughing, the rest of us just rolled our eyes and turned on the protonpack. “stay behind us,” Egon said to me. I rolled my eyes, I knew he was just trying to protect me(along with the rest of the boys) but it got annoying sometimes.

“Peter, just release the line,” Winston said, pointing his gun towards the poltergeist.

Peter nodded as his laughter died down. “Okay, okay, look alive soldiers!”

Peter and Winston quickly got their proton streams knotted around the poltergeist with a perfect ame. The poltergeist shrieked and yelled as it lunged at Ray, baring its bloody teeth. Ray quickly dodges the hit, as he falls on his back he turns the gun to full power.

Peter started singing 'why can't we be friends' under his breath while he leaned back, trying to control the poltergeist's movement. “Almost got it” Winston added with a grunt as he and Egon shielded the way that led to my direction, I quickly turned mine. Now all five streams were tangled on the poltergeist.

“N/n, get the trap!” Winston shouted, I turned my gun off and went after it. I got it and sat on the ground before sliding it on the ground to the boys.

Just seconds later the poltergeist breaks free from the stream and rushes towards Ray and Peter, they both immediately ducked, making the poltergeist miss them. Ray jumped back to his feet and pulled out one of the hand held proton guns and shot the poltergeist as it charged towards my direction.

The poltergeist shrieks and flies around like the Tasmanian devil. It pushes through the pain and lunges out of the stream before charging at me, claws bared. I pulled out the same gun Ray used, before I could pull the trigger the poltergeist’s huge claws slash down missing me just by a hair after I quickly dodged it. The poltergeist swang again and this time it left four brutal gashes from my right breast down to my stomach, these scratches were deep and painful, it made me gag. I felt the blood leak out at a thicker pace, the nauseating pain shouts through my entire anatomy. The sight of four diagonal gashes on my jumpsuit nearly knocks me over in a fit of panic.

“y/n!” I heard Egon shout, I coughed due to the taste of blood and felt my knees buckle. Before I could hit the broken tile floor Egon caught me.

“OVER HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Peter shouted, the poltergeist wiped around with a hiss and charged towards Peter and Winston, claws out.

—(3rd pov)---

“Egon” she coughed, she desperately tried to swallow and clear the irony taste of blood on her tongue. Egon felt her gentle hands weakly cling to him as he sank to the ground, he fell to his knees and held her in his lap. Egon felt his throat constrict, every organ in his stomach twist and turned, he was unable to breathe as he stared at her battered body.

“she's loosing too much blood, control the bleeding” his mind races. There's so much blood and she's dying, no he couldn't think like that.

The poltergeist turns its attention to Peter in the distance, as Egon puts pressure on her cuts. His panic only ensues as the blood wouldn't let up, his freezes as she locks eyes with him.

“Egon…” she reached up and placed her hand on his cheek, it limply slid down smearing a red hand print on his cheek.

“Shh… Just stay with me, please” he said, stumbling over his words as he ripped the fabric of your pants leg to keep the blood from flowing out of the wounds.

The blood kept flowing and this time he didn't know what to do, he was now absolutely immobilized with fear.

“Ray!” Egon shouts. “Ray, help me!” Ray whips around, his eyes widened as he sees his best friend bleeding out in Egon's arms. Ray sprints over to them and drops to his knees. “Oh God, y-you're gonna be okay N/n, okay” He said placing his hand on her cheek then quickly grabbing the first-aid kit that was strapped to his proton pack, they added it years ago after Peter almost got castrated by class IV spirit.

Ray quickly tears open a package of gause with his teeth and places it over her chest. “Okay, I'm gonna lift her up and you need to wrap her. '' Ray looked up and saw Egon trembling and not moving, Ray pushed his shoulder while he fought his own tears. “Egon! She needs you right now”

Egon quickly shook his head and fumbled with the med-tape, Ray gently lifted her torso up while her arms limply held on to his neck. Egon tries desperately to concentrate enough as he wraps med-tape around her torso tightly.

Ray looked up, shaking his head desperately. “W-we need to call 911, this isn't gonna help her”

“Hey, Darling, I need you to stay with us. Stay with me,” His voice quivers with fear as he tightens the wrap on her chest, after he was done Ray gently layed her back in Egon's lap. “You’re gonna be alright. Just keep breathing.”

The three are drenched in her blood, Egon looks down and gulps when he sees that his hands are nothing but pure red from her blood. Everything Is drenched in her blood, Ray's jumpsuit, Egon's entire body, everything was just red.

In the distance, Peter and Winston are fighting the poltergeist. Winston stepped back and whipped the stream back to try and weaken the ghost, for a split second Winston wondered where the rest of his team was. He made the mistake and looked back.

“Y/N!” he shouted in anguish. Just out of instinct and pure love for the girl he dropped the stream and ran to her.

“oh my god” he placed his hand over his mouth when he saw all the blood. His stomach couldn't take it and he turned away and vomited out everything he had in his stomach.

“Winston, get on the radio and call for an ambulance” Ray said in a shaky voice, Winston wiped his mouth and ran out to Ecto-1. You could hear his voice from the distance and as he barked orders with a shaky voice. He came running back into the building seconds later.

“we got about 30 minutes give or take” Winston said as his nausea came bubbling back at the sight over drenched in red and unresponsive.

“GOD DAMMIT! WHERE ARE IDIOTS DOING!” Peter shouted over the proton stream and the screams of the poltergeist, he was totally unaware of the bloodbath the woman he considered a sister was setting in.

The screams of the poltergeist only got louder but Peter had no problem shouting over them in anger. “WINSTON! QUIT JERKING OFF AND GET OVER HERE!”

Winston did snap out of it and the nausea was replaced by pure rage. “this just got personal you bastard” he was at Peter's side in seconds turning his proton pack back on.

Peter tosses the trap under the area the poltergeist was floating and jerking around.

Their streams knotted around the thrashing ghost, struggling to contain it as Peter avoids looking in there direction, deep down he knew something was wrong but he was too pissed because he was ditched.

“Egon! Guys! Snap out of it, bud! I really need your help here!” Peter and Winston were both drenched in sweat and slime as they started to lose their balance.

“YOU GO STRAIGHT BACK TO HELL YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Winston yelled as his boots started sliding across the concrete.

“Damit! Hang on Winny” Peter said, pulling his arms back but the poltergeist jumped back, pulling harder.

“Goddamnit! Spengler! Ray! get off your asses and help!” Peter shouted, he was still oblivious to what was going on in the distance.

Egon's watery eyes darted up and stared at Peter and Winston. Egon stayed completely still, eyes wide and fearful as his big brain refused to process what Peter was saying.

As Winston ramps up his stream to full power light cast over everything, Peter looked over his shoulder about to yell at Egon and Ray but his words got caught in his throat when the light of the proton stream shined on Egon and Y/n.

“You gotta be shitting me” Peter grunts and slams his foot on the trigger pedal, then yanks the weakened ghost towards the glowing trap. The poltergeist shrieks in pain as it's sucked in and the ghost disappears.

The trap shuts and Winston drops his gun immediately, he runs back to Egon, Ray, and y/n. “Oh God, honey” he whispered as he took her limp hand.

Winston tried to take her into his arms but Egon just shot him a treating look and held her tighter. Peter was still trying to catch his breath, he was dubbed over with his hands on his knees. He breathed in and out until his lungs were ready for him to function correctly, he set up straight and looked towards his team.

He felt nothing but fear and anger when he saw her. His jaw clenched. “DAMIT” He shouts and kicks the trap across the asphalt. It clatters along the ground and crashes into the brick wall, he's lucky it didn't shatter everywhere.

Tears pricked his eyes as he got down on one knee next to Egon, like Winston he reached for the girl. Egon flinched back and held her closer still trying to stop the bleeding. Damn… She's lost so much.

“You touch her, I'll kill you” he said with tears streaming down his face. “this is all my fault” he sobbed into her hair.

For a moment Peter stood there shocked, he's never seen the doctor cry. Hell he's never seen Egon show any type of emotion until y/n showed up into their lives.

Egon only cried harder when the sounds of sirens was heard and ambulance lights flashed through the broken windows.

“We got you Honey” Winston whispered as he, and the other three boys gently lifted her up and met the paramedics outside.

The paramedics drove off seconds later driving like a bat out of hell trying to get to the hospital. When the sirens died down Peter felt his anger bubble over like an over filled boiling pot, hot and aggressive. He turns to

He then turns to Egon and seizes Egon by the lapels of his jumpsuit. Despite the Height difference, Peter was able to harshly slam the taller man into the side of the mansion. Egon winced in pain when his back hit the brick wall. Sure it hurt, but it wasn't as painful as it was to see y/n covered in blood. “What the fuck is your problem?! Huh?! Do you want her to die! Is that what you want!” Peter shouted as he jerked Egon forward and slammed him into the wall again, his glass fell lose hanging down on tip of his nose.

“Peter” Ray croaked out, he was ignored while Peter let out all his anger.

“You love her huh?! Could have fooled me. You just let that damn thing destroy her insides!” he threw a punch this time, Egon fell to the ground as Winston and Ray pulled them away from each other. Egon sinks to the ground. His throat constricts, he's unable to breathe as tonight events flashed in his mind on repeat.

“It's no one's fault!” Ray shouted as he placed his hand on Peter's chest and pushed him backwards. “Tonight was an accident! A terrible, terrible accident!”

“Do you think she would have wanted us to tear each other apart over her?” Winston asked, kneeling down to help Egon up. “I could have happened to any of us”

Peter clenched his fist. “but it's not supposed to happen to her! Our job is not only to get rid of the ghost but to keep her safe too!”

Tears spill down Peter’s face as his rage melts into pure sorrow and he falls to his knees next to Ray. Peter screws his eyes shut as he busts into uncontrollable sobs, Ray put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

After the team got done grieving and losing their shit, they loaded Ecto-1 up. Egon was silently sitting on the curb, back to his usual unemotional self. It killed Ray to see him so blank again, but then again he could see every ounce of pain that Egon was feeling.

Ray came up to egon and smiled softly. “I got a call from one of the nurses, y/n is still in surgery but they have high hopes she'll pull through… she had a blood transfusion too”

Egon didn't say anything, only slightly nodded and picked at the fabric of his jumpsuit. Ray sighed and rubbed his shoulder. “let's get cleaned up and we'll go see her”

Egon didn't move, Ray sighed and tugged him up. “come on buddy”

As Ray lifed egon up a pair of head lights appeared, it was Dana. Ray smiled at her softly as she got out of the car quietly, Oscar was fast asleep on his car seat.

“oh no” she whispered. Ray didn't say anything and told her to take Peter back to their apartment.

Dana silently and gently got Peter in the back seat of her car, he immediately gave Oscar and gentle hug and kiss his forehead. Dana shut the door and pulled Ray and Egon into a tight hug, not caring they were covered in blood and filth.

“get home safe and keep me updated with Y/n” she whispered and kissed Egon on the cheek. She got in the car and took her boys home. Winston sighed and walked over to be with his friends. “everything is loaded up”

Ray sighed and rubbed his forehead, it's been and long night and he never wants to live anything similar to this in the future at any given moment. He gripped Egon's shoulder and the three piled into Ecto-1 without another word, Winston drove since he was the only one who felt 'okay' to drive at the moment.

~at the Firehouse~

When the boys got home they silently put their equipment away and separated, Winston grabed his car keys and started his journey to the hospital while Egon and Ray went upstairs to clean up.

As Egon walked through the pitch black bedroom he couldn't help but brush his fingers over the bed she slept in, it was the nicest in the room, draped in soft blankets and fluffy pillows. It was always made nice and had a panda bear plushie Ray gave her long ago.

Egon let out a tired sigh and continued his journey to the shower room, since their home was an old fire house there was dozen shower heads in the room and they all had privacy cubicles and harsh forlecent lights.

Egon looked down at studyed his curnt state, covered in the blood of the woman he loves, he continues to question himself why he didn't just tell her when he had the chance. Egon agressevelly tries to break free of confines of the jumpsuit, it felt too constricting now. He ripped it off, breaking the zipper in the process.

Egon slames the ruby stained clothing to the bottom of the trash can, jumpsuit and all, and turns on the shower to it's hottest Temperature. After taking off his bent up glasses, he steps in and watches the first layer her blood run off of his body and fall down the drain. He opens his eyes and staired at his hands, the blood was still there. His chest heaves in panic as he scrubbed his hands raw. They were a hint of pink from the blood and so was his chest, he couldn't get the blood off. Dispite the scolding water a shiver went down his spine as he slumped against the cubicle wall.

“the blood…” he croaked out to Ray after he got out of the shower, he stood in front of Ray holding his shaky hands out infront of him. Ray looked up and saw his pink hands and since egon only put a pair of pajama pants on he saw his chest was stained with blood as well. “it won't come off Ray”

Ray didn't know what to say, he stood up and gave him a hug. “you should get some rest” he whispered, Egon flinched out of his arms and looked at Ray like he had three heads. “We're supposed go to the hospital”

Ray took a deep breath. “Egon your exhausted, scared… I promise we'll go in the morning, Winston is in the hospital waiting room as we speak”

Egon didn't protest so Ray went to take his turn in the shower. “I need to know if it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.” Egon said softly.

Ray turned around and shrugged, he gave him a serious look and said, “in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are”

Egon nodded soulfully, “I just wish I had the brain capacity to tell her I loved her”

“It's not about brain capacity, but if you ask me y/n loves you for who you are” Ray said as he left to take his shower Egon's eyes trailed back to y/n's bed. The warmth of it and hint of her perfume beckoned him over. He silently crawled under her soft blankets and holds her stuffed bear to his chest. He buried his face into it and let the tears fall freely when her sent fully engolfed him.

He felt so exhausted but couldn't bring himself to go to sleep. Instead, he stares blankly at her night stand. It was small and neatly cluttered, it had small desk lamp she painted flowers on it and copy of The Outsiders and To kill a mockingbird. Next to the novels was a small picture frame that held a photo with all five of them. In the photo they were all standing infront of Ecto-1, y/n was setting on the hood while Ray and Egon set on either side of her. She hand her arms around the both of them while Peter stood next to Ray holding up devil horns and Winston stood next to Egon with his big goofy smile. Those boys ment everything to her.

Even with all the joyful things on her desk he could be looking at, his eyes just stared at the red telaphone was was in the open nightstand drawer, he waited for a call.. A call from anyone to tell him she was okay. He didn't know when he fell asleep, but when his eyes closed they didn't opened back up. When Ray got out of the shower(blood stained like Egon) Egon was fast asleep.

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

It was barely 6 o'clock in the morning when Egon woke Ray up so they could go to the hospital. Sun was barely up when Ecto-1 drove down the partly empty street, the city wasn't even awake yet. The car was completely silent, the only sounds was Ray's loud yawns as he silently drove down the street.

Egon just wanted to see you, the hospital probably wasn't even opened yet but that didn't matter. By the time the hospital comes into view, the sky was a mixture of purples and orange as the sun slowly peaked from behind the tall buildings of new York.

The two men were completely ignored when the walked into the hospital, the nurse who was at the front desk let them pass by as she fought to stay awake during her shift. The two men went into the waiting room and saw Winston and Peter fast asleep, they were both in the uncomfortable chairs snoring away. Winston had his arms crossed over his chest and his legs were propped up on the tiny coffee table, Peter had his head tilted back and was using his coat as a blanket.

“I'm gonna find y/n's room” Egon said bluntly and left Ray with the snoring men, Ray sighed and just slumped on the couch that felt like it was made of bricks and plastic, it didn't matter how uncomfortable it was because he was out like a light again.

Egon walked down the quiet hallway, it was deserted and there was no night shifters in sight to kick him out. He didn't relize how nervous he was until his hands touched the door knob of her room, his fingers flinched away as he feared the worst. He didn't want to see her all battered up with wires sticking out of her, he only hope she was just resting peaceful on the other side of the door.

He gently knocked and peaked behind the door, he sighed when he saw her peaceful sleeping with a dopey Black dog plushie. Winston got it for her no doubt. Not wanting to wake her, he silently pulled a chair next to her bed the pulled her cold hand to his lips, he kissed it softly then gently held it.

Y/n shifted softly, the sudden movement make Egon fully alert.

“hi…” she smiled softly, he sighed in relief and rested his forehead on her leg. She tilted her head and gently brushed her cold fingers through his curls, the contact made his wall suddenly crumble. Tears of both gult and relief soaked her blanket. “I'm sorry… S-so sorry”

“Eggie… It's okay… Egon Everything is okay now” she cood. It was the first time ever she's seen him cry and she held no judgment. The only judgment was the one he was pushing on himself. “this is all my fault… I'm sorry”

“it's not your fault Egon…We're both safe now” y/n rested her hand on his cheek and he immediately nuzzled his face closer basking In her touch. His hand rested on top of hers and kissed her palm. “I love you”

The statement took her by surprise, but she wasn't disappointed. Egon didn't know how long she's been waiting to hear that and if she wasn't hurting and looking like a Freddy Kruger victim, she's be jumping into his arms or dancing around.

She smiled and pulled him closer, he got the message and leaned over to her making sure he didn't put any of his wight on her aching body. Their lips brushed up against each and this time there was no interruptions. The kiss was so gentle and held so much passion, he kissed her like it was the last time he'd every be able to do it. He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers.

She smiled softly. “I love you in every universe”

[drizznt]

I'm just gonna come right out and list my grievances with the newer drow lore (bear in mind that I have not read a lot of lorebooks directly and most of what I know is from having read the first 18 drizzt novels and wikipedia):

1. Having facial markings that tell you how much Lolth likes someone looks cool, but having them fade if she changes her mind about you gets rid of one of the core ways drow society works, and that is that you can't know for sure whether you or anyone else is in Lolth's favor. If everyone knows who is and isn't, it removes a lot of the reason for the paranoia that drives Lolthite society. Lolth thrives on that paranoia, so why would she diminish it like that?

2. Introducing new drow cultures had the potential to be cool, but other than (from my understanding) the fact that it comes up in recent Drizzt books, I haven't seen or heard much about them and they haven't been fleshed out at all. If you're going to introduce entirely new cultures to the world, you gotta flesh them out.

3. On that note, I disagree with why they were added. I understand that WotC has come under fire (very reasonably) for the fact that there are a lot of racist ideas and tropes in their IP, and that they've been working hard in recent years to change that as much as they can, which is good. I just disagree with how they're doing it in this case. Yes, having drow be an inherently evil race is bad. The idea that a race can be inherently evil is racist. Especially when you ALSO make the evil race black-skinned. I'm glad they recognize that and want to change it.

The issue is that they're not actually changing it by adding more drow cultures. Instead of "this race is inherently evil," they've shifted to "this culture is inherently evil" which isn't really any better.

Instead, they could've been doing what RAS had been doing since 1988 and focused instead on the nuances of drow culture. The very existence of a character like Drizzt is already an indication that not all drow are evil. In the prequel books (the Dark Elf trilogy) it becomes extremely clear that not only are there individuals who disagree with how things work in Lolthite society, but that the issue isn't the drow themselves. It's Lolth. There's a fascist theocracy where a few select leaders get complete control over how everything is run, children are indoctrinated heavily from day one, and all of it is enforced by the very real and very present power of a very real and very present goddess who won't allow things to be any other way.

And yet we have Zaknafein, and Drizzt knows he's not the only one - there are drow who would escape like Drizzt if they felt they could. If they had the skills and the magic 600lb panther to accompany them if they fled. Who actively try to avoid harming innocents and fight back in the only ways they know how. We have Jarlaxle and Bregan D'aerthe, who refuse to be subjected to it and find their own ways of existing at least somewhat outside of the system - and Jarlaxle is openly not a fan of Lolth or her priestesses.

Other lore establishes Eilistraee and her followers who actively work to help other drow escape that society.

My point is that instead of breaking their own lore and treating udadrow culture as though it and most people in it are inherently evil, they could have focused more on the resistance to that fascism and theocracy - the radicals, the many little rebellions that will have undoubtedly happened before the 1400s, the counterculture, abolitionists and activists who want to end slavery, etc. Those things always exist in a repressive society, no matter how hard those in power try to stop it. But being realistic and sensitive about the connotations of how they treat such a culture would come off as too political, too critical of certain aspects of American politics, so if it even occurred to them to do it, they shied away from it because actually fixing the issue would be bad for profits.

3. Stop treating drow language as though it's just another form of Undercommon or Elven. It makes no sense. It's been many, many generations since drow split off and became isolated from surface elves; while their languages are a part of the same language family, they're going to be very different and no longer mutually intelligible by now. Especially considering how different the canon words we know from each language are - drow probably also changed their language to some degree on purpose, like English nobles speaking French for many years to be Different.

And do you really think a culture that emphasizes supremacy and superiority is going to use the common trading language as their main means of communicating with each other? No. In earlier lore, nobles even had their own version of Drowic so that commoners wouldn't understand them if they didn't want them to. There is no reason for Drowic not to be its own language that is widely spoken by drow the way Elven is widely spoken by surface elves.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

know it's not something that matters to a lot of people, but imo one of the more insidious ways tsams poisons the well of discussion is in the "sun & moon are brothers!" thing -- not bc of shipping (although that's gotta be frustrating), but bc of how it erases the complexity of systems. like, the fandom's come a long way in that people actually acknowledge the dca as a possible system now, but... well, "brother" is an easier, more digestible way to refer to & understand it -- particularly if you struggle with/are ignorant of this stuff -- but it's not necessarily the most *accurate* way, if that makes sense. the relationship between brothers is easier to understand than the one between alters for most people, yeah, but they're never gonna understand the latter if they don't engage with it at all. it's the coward's way out, and that sucks! (and you're free to disagree, but it's how i feel about it </3) (--springtrappd)

discourse-y stuff under the cut ahfJjdkzjgj

GAAHHHH NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THIS GENUINELY...... LIKE ofc the shipping thing is annoying too but THAT'S MY HUGEST GRIPE WITH IT!!!!!

i know they're not the best system rep in the world or anything but you don't fix that by completely getting rid of the fact that they are, in fact, a system!!! (or at least very easily read as one)... because then you're just erasing that part of their identity to make it more easily digestible and understandable to a common audience who's unwilling to engage with world views that aren't their own (but this is an entirely different subject ghsjgjrj)

at the very least i do definitely believe that tsams was a huge influence on the amount of people who separate sun and moon into two separate bodies in their fan works... and even if it's not entirely the show's fault (since i feel like it would've happened regardless) their huge prevalence in the dca fandom (and at such an early point in it's formation) is undeniably a contributor to it + could be why it's so prevalent these days even outside of tsams related works

tsams has just generally poisoned a lot of the fanwork surrounding the dca in such a way where it's impossible to cleanly separate the two. and as someone who mainly sticks to the source material it's just... i just hate it. idk what else to say about it

[miscling]

🗣

It's experience with bottom surgery please

How it felt before, talking with a surgeon, recovery, how it feels after, and any other thoughts it would like to share

~GLaDOS

this thing had bottom surgery in 2013 on the NHS, back while it was still being called SRS (sexual reassignment surgery), and it was the only surgical option available to it at the time. it's gonna put the story/details under a cut though, because this is gonna be long...

(thanks for the question!)

what's kinda interesting is that while this thing knows it has a neo-cunt, so must, theoretically, have not had a cunt beforehand, it actually doesn't remember much about what it was like to not have a cunt outside of a few brief memories and strings of thought. it knows that it was deeply dysphoric about not having a cunt so as soon as it realised these options were open to it, it rushed at them with all the fury of a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn't about to let anyone stop her from getting it.

talking with surgeons was a little awkward, since they have to handle your junk, and there was a whole thing with how there were two surgeons doing NHS surgeries at the time and one of them had pissed off its ex so it got on the books of the other for its own surgery. he was a nice enough guy, though it hadn't actually met him more than once before the surgery. appointments were limited for that kind of thing.

for the surgery itself, it went down to london on its own, spent the night in a hotel, and the next day went in for the surgery. it remembers getting so nervous in the waiting room on its own, thinking about how it could have just walked out and left and no one would be able to stop it, it was 100% free to make that choice. it stayed. there were risks involved, but at the time it had come to a place of feeling like even if the surgery fucked up and it was left with nothing at all down there, it would be worth it to be rid of what had been there.

it remembers the next week kinda hazily. it remembers the first poop it took after its surgery was like four days after and the size of a large rat. its nestie and its mum and some friends visited it over the week it was kept in hospital, and it spent its time on a ward with a bunch of other trans girls. most older, one younger, though it kept itself isolated from them all. it's a little sad about that, but it really just wanted to be left alone so it could recover; it wasn't a holiday, it was recovering from surgery. when it left the hospital it ate a ham salad, got a train ride home - first class - and was seen to its own bed where it wishes it could say it recovered peacefully over the next few weeks...

remember the salad it mentioned a couple of lines up? it got food poisoning. it spent most of a week basically unconscious except to dilate. it could barely eat and was put on a diet of liquid electrolytes by a gp who had to do a home visit. also, while it was recovering, one third of the poly triad it was in decided she wanted to kill this thing because she couldn't handle that its nestie loved it and she had to share their attention (that lass should never have been pushed into poly with us). aaaaanyway... the short version is that it doesn't remember much of early recovery except that dilation was a massive chore around being sick and dealing with that crap.

it did, of course, survive all that and it now has a cunt that it's quite proud of. it looks good, feels great, and is a great place for girls to stick their dicks if that's something they'd like to do. lewd comments aside, it's usually pretty happy to let trans girls take a look and explore it in a non-sexual way too. it's a lot harder to absorb fearmongering around the surgery when you can see for yourself what's likely to happen - this thing's surgery was smooth and successful.

this thing's cunt needs a little extra lubrication for sex, but it is basically everything you'd expect from a cunt. it's great, tbh. it hopes that anyone who wants a cunt like this can find a way to get one. it knows that the NHS is an absolute disaster for trans healthcare now, so it knows how lucky it is to have been able to strike at the perfect time to get through the system and get its surgery when it could. if it'd been off by even as little as a few months, this would be a very different story.

thank you for the ask! it hopes this has been at least a little informative. it's willing to answer questions about the technical side of things pretty clearly. it's all ancient history, to be honest.

[seat-safety-switch]

I'll be honest with you. When they told me I had to join the Space Patrol, I was against it. Simply put, I have no quarrel with the Xenthorians. Yes, they abducted a lot of our political and social betters, ate their brains, and now want to dominate us. Nobody is going to argue with you that it's a total bummer we can't see Celebrity Lust Island anymore, because they removed and consumed the host's brains live on air. I just don't think we need to have a whole "resistance" about it.

Sure, in theory we should be in charge of our own destiny as sentient beings and not be beholden to an alien race. Everyone loves self-determination; it's not just this year's fad put into the surviving magazines by the large word people. It just seems like nobody at all has been thinking too hard about the precedent this sets.

Let's do a little thought experiment. Assuming that you and I and approximately seven million other able-bodied humans are able to push the Xenthorians back to their space elevator, put a big bomb on it, and destroy their mothership, what next? Once the alien oppressors are gone, does that mean it's okay for us to just take out the next government we don't like? I thought we were supposed to vote out the bums, not obliterate them with nukes snuck away from underground bunkers by ragtag special ops units made up of hardened survivors. And I'll be honest, it's not a good look if this becomes a species-ist thing, either. We are only permitted to kill aliens, genocide boy? Maybe the Xenthorians have a point, if we're gonna be like that.

I think what we really need to do is find a compromise position. Sure, they got rid of most of our Hollywood stars, talented writers, and people who know how the world actually works, but they also got rid of my city councillor who voted in favour of more parking restrictions. What's that? The Xenthorians want to get rid of the free four-hour parking zone outside the casino so they have a place to store their Starstrider? They're going to raise the price of downtown parking to ten dollars a day? The hell they will. Get my gun.

[monettsuki]

Wanderer headcannons

It will be all fluff so enjoy

He will never admit it but if you bring home a fennec fox, a stray little kitten or even a little bird with an broken wing he will absolutely get attached to the little thing - he at first will say for you to get rid of them as soon as possible but one day you will probably find him with the small animal on top of his chest while he is sleeping on the couch (will deny that ever happened anytime you bring it up and will especially hate it if you bring it up when the two of you are around other people)

Isn't much of a person to give you gifts but when he does he looks away and just hands you the gift - as much as his demeanor wouldn't show he is actually a little bit worried if you'd like his gift or not (he really tried to pick one that will make you happy and to put a smile on your face)

If you're taller than him you won't hear the end of it with the tall person remarks - he will definitely have one for every single situation imaginable and you won't escape them - on the other hand if you're shorter than him he will always be very proud that he is taller than you (if you have the courage go on give him a playful punch or slap and then run for your life because he might try to kill you afterwards)

He absolutely adores reading -yes he might mumble under his breath every now and then while Nahida put forced him to enter the akademiya but hey he isn't complaining if he can just stay in the library and read books on anything he would like - since he is free of the Harbringer lifestyle he is now left with a lot more free time (he will invite you to spend time with him in the library especially close to nightfall since it's emptier and people don't usually come at that time and it's quiet so in his opinion it's a perfect place for the two of you to hang out)

Loves his coffee plain - if you are a person who doesn't usually drink unsweetened coffee or with milk added the first time you'd taste the coffee he drinks it would be extremely bitter as if he is trying to kill you with it - wether you like coffee or not he will prepare your coffee how you like it or even tea if you're not a coffee drinker and he will make sure to sweeten it as much as you would like

The reason why he spends so much time in the forest - especially around Aranaras - its because he hates the heat. You won't find him DEAD in the sumeru deserts or anywhere that the sunlight hits he hates it so bad he won't hesitate to jump in the water directly if he just wants to cool off and sometimes he would pretend he just slipped and fell and then when you would try to help him out he would smirk and just drag you down in the water with him (would definitely start laughing when you look at him with a pouting expression or an annoyed kind of one afterwards)

When the two of you are alone he would definitely be very clingy and would like to hold you in his arms a lot - he would never admit it but to him it feels like he knows you're there with him and you're not gonna leave him in any kind of way - if you're busy he's just gonna keep his head on your shoulder but if the two of you are cuddling he will always love to put his head on your chest so he can hear your heartbeat -its relaxing for him to know that you're alive and well next to him and that he can hold you like that

If he's gone till night hits and he finds you sleep on the couch fully knocked out while waiting for him to come home - he is gonna be happy but a little bit sad as well because he made you exhaust yourself to the point where you fell asleep on the couch so he will most definitely somehow get you to your shared bed and then wrap his arms around you and then kissing your forehead (he is careful not to actually wake you up but if he does he will just shush you and tell you go close your eyes and go to sleep again)

He likes being outside - especially in the forest resting under the trees and enjoying the shade but what he especially hates is people being around him - which is his main reason for not liking to go around Sumeru city much (if you wanna drag him anywhere in the city you'll have to beg a little bit but he will probably refuse until you leave him alone)

Unsurprisingly he will stop to pet stray cats on the street- mainly cats - he isn't much of a dog person so he likes petting the fluffy cats which he comes across day by day - if you have a camera he might let you take photos of him havin fun with the cats but if you dare to show those photos to anyone that camera gets confiscated in the next moment possible (you can try to run but you won't make it too far)

If you like eating sweets he will buy them for you or carry some in his pockets - whenever he wants to cut you off while you're talking he will just take a candy out of his pocket and feed it to you while having the biggest smug smirk on his face and no remorse for interrupting you (another option would be to kiss your cheek or just suddenly hug you and give you a peck on your lips then to start walking as if nothing happened while you're a bit stunned

he can be really silent at times which means he absolutely loves to startle you - he will just show up behind you while you're organizing something or doing whatever and just slither his arms around your waist while putting his head on your shoulder - when he sees that he startled you he will laugh a little bit before apologizing if you start to hit him in a playful matter (sometimes he will catch your wrist with his hand and kiss your hand in a gentleman manner just to mess with you and stop you from rambling how he shouldn't scare you like that)

in the early situation in which the two of you aren't living together and he can't sleep he will most likely show up at your house in the middle of the night - he will look at you with that expression that looks like he is a sad cat and then you'd drag him inside your home and hugging him while he places his head on your shoulder (he doesn't let many people see this more vulnerable part of himself so you should be happy he lets himself be more vulnerable around you) also finds your presence to be very comforting for him

That's all goodbye💙