#ill be away
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'm so ready for a change
#forgot i didnt add tags#i want to cut and dye my hair all fucked up#i want to start my life over#i want to be the man i KNOW i am#i feel trapped in a cage#188 days#I'll be out#ill be away#ill be myself#everything will be as it should#I know im a man but my brain is telling me otherwise it wants me to question my gender again but i know deep down ive always been a man#ough#sorry to rant#i think all the transphobia is getting to me as much as i try to post trans content to retaliate#im fine though!#sorry to vent
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
something bad might have happened and I’m really freaked out right now.
#this illness that all three cats have right now hasn’t gone away#Grim seems the worst so I took her back to the vet today#and the vet says her belly seems distended in the way it would be with FIP#I know FIP is fatal.#I’m sitting in the vets office now while Grim gets her x-rays and I’m trying not to burst into tears
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
“what’s wrong, talk to me”
“let’s fix this, i can’t lose you”
“we’ll work it out together”
#he’s the only person in my life that has said stuff like this instead of just walking away#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#bpd shitposting#bpd fp#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd favorite person#green flags
20K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Princess and Hero of the First Great Calamity
The orange snoot is very important to me….
#tloz#princess zelda#link#assumedly?#botw#totk#technically#loz redesigns round 2#the first great calamity#the ancient heroes aspect#the ancient hero’s aspect#art#my art#redesign#listen this is probably the one and only time ill draw something furry so if it looks a bit wonky i dont really care lmao#this is one of the few designs where im Under designing one of the characters#ie the heroes aspect is such a messy design#i went of the mural a little bit more for the coloring so a little more orangey red involved in his design#and also changing his face to look a little less offputting#and the greener looking eyes from the mural#the darker fur also helps the teal pop#but yes i made his armor a little less zonai-y and a tad more guardian inspired?#i didnt take away all the zonai vibes because he’s seemingly related to them somehow#i do wish we had a timeline for how long after rauru sealed ganon that this calamity happened#but oh well#but yeah uh zelda#vaguely based on sonia#thats pretty much all i have to say about her lmao#i used more neutrals on her dress to semi emulate the pure white of the mural#while also bringing in more of those sheikah tech colors
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
morning routine
#art tag#gortcas#casim carnarvon#i can still draw yes trust😩#maybe followup to this too in ermm.... later#every1 say thanks molly for the dialogue else this wouldve taken 5 more days🙏 ill lie down and pass away now#wow the quality is.... no comment tumblr
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i got a thing for pushing people away when im at my lowest
#mentally fucked#venting#actually mentally ill#i hate it here#bpd thoughts#too fucking much#die#depressing shit#love#i hate him#missing you#i miss him#pushing people away#at my lowest#worse than usual#at my worst#deppresing thoughts#kinda depressing#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
temptation
i lowkey have too many notes to write down properly KDFHKDS but ill write them down for Future Cele so i can read it later and be like omggg past cele ur so fun and interesting
in general, the more "color" the scenes have, the closer it is to "real life" as opposed to the muted/hushed winter blues of maruki's reality
i.e. the dark frames w akira smiling and the very last panel are when reality sinks in: first for akira, then for goro
by the way this is long winter au but sumire is still brainwashed. this also works for canonverse but i just had long winter au in mind:o
youve heard of laundry and taxes now get ready for coffee and pastries
in every panel, akira is smiling! :) and goro is very much not smiling.
intentionally his face is hidden in the last 2 pages so its unclear whether it's the "ideal reality" already (akira/goro's daydreams/wants/desires), or if goro is still fighting akira on making sure he picks the right choice
the smoke from the first page kinda leads into the 3rd page omfg COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL BUT REALLY COOL LMAOOO
that's nameless and belladonna in jazz jin!!! i love them. I LOVETHEM. i miss them so bad is it obvious
the cafe is loosely based off of caffe strada @ uc berkeley LMAO. my parents used to take me there a lot as a little kid so that's the first cafe i think of when i imagine one. its like right on the streetside, basically on the sidewalk, so its very bustling and people are always walking by... probably a little disconcerting to see everyones summery bright smiles despite the bitter cold and snow
in long winter AU, the Ideal Reality starts before 1/1 so yeah they get to see the new years fireworks together (or something)
also intentional that they wear the same winter outfits in the whole comic although it Probably does not take place at the same time. in maruki's snowglobe, time seems frozen in place... but akira and goro are both acutely aware that the sands are running thru QUICK
goro's frustrated expression on page 3 is one also of disdain: "don't speak FOR me you fucking imbecile" type of expression.
goro, who's never lived a normal life and therefore doesn't know much abt "normalcy" nor really actively seeks it. this 3rd semester is basically purgatory for him and he doesn't care to try and go through the motions the way akira does. akira what do YOU know about the type of "normalcy" i deserve? how do YOU know if i "deserve" that?
im thinking that this is a naive akira who is mostly set on taking the deal because he feels hopeless... seeing all his friends with good happy lives while goro and himself are alive and miserable and shouldering the weight of the world during the horror of long winter......
oh but if he takes the deal they could all be good and alive and happy!!!.... and goro knows this. i feel like in any other universe (i.e. akira is 100% certain on not taking the deal and goro knows this) then goro would be happy and carefree to do these little indulgences for himself and akira's sake, to just enjoy the snowglobe world while it exists.
but this goro is discontent. he sees how akira is enjoying the snowglobe and knows maruki is depending on this. goro has to be the one to remind akira that none of this is his to keep........ in this fucked up world, routine is dangerous. becoming comfortable is dangerous. they cannot keep any of this.
on that note, goro says "i hate you" in a halfhearted sort of way (it's not true and akira knows that.) but he's trying to think of a way that he can dissuade akira from picking the wrong choice.....
and i think the thing is, goro thinks all of this, but he still falls into the rhythm of routine with akira anyway. in a way, goro feels hopeless too.
all of this is maruki's doing........ paralyzed by the inability to choose... whatever you do, you lose. goro needs to hold akira at arm's length so the stupid sentimental fool doesn't get too attached and falls into the wrong universe. akira needs to make a concentrated effort to detach himself from goro even though he wants the simplest thing in the world: just one more unremarkable day with him. it's lose-lose..........,
also i liked drawing the tentacles in the last pic the freaking blue lines on them were SO satisfying to draw
edit: also the last page: the blood flooding the panel….. the idea of the ideal world being built off of the blood and sweat and tears and bodies of the people who could have been. of those lost in the actualization, of those destroyed, of those stitched together and brought back to life. all just for a little false happiness. goro sees it but akira doesn’t, and it’s a grim sight.
#shuake#goro akechi#akira kurusu#persona 5 royal#cele draws#cele comics#last comic for 2 weeks ish probably bc ill be away frm my usual setup for a while:O will still be drawing tho!!!#long winter#takuto maruki
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
its integral to understand that for the best show of all time buffy the vampire slayer is often very not good
#the way in which it has made me ill i will literally never get away from#btvs#you would think from how i talk about it that the writers thought about things!!! but. well!!#lorewise it falls apart. thematically and emotionally it falls apart. and yet. compells me and makes me stupid forever and ever!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
big fan of panels where they look like they wld beat me up
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#megumi#YUUJI WILL NOT COOPERATE TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME >:(((#is it the angle ? is it the expression?? the bangs??????? am i just a fraud and a fake yuuji liker i dont know at this point#god#just . just take it i cant fiddle with the proportions any more ill go insane#it was worse when i tried colouring it but im STILL not 100% sold on it no matter what i shift or tilt#megumi my darling boy i love u at least You always have my back :'<#honestly my leading theory is that bc my yuuji design looks objectively More different than his canon design#its more prone 2 looking Wrong in my head#but even so !!! if i *have* my yuuji design down why does it still feel like im fighting fr my gd life when i try 2 draw him#it feels like he is shattering my drawing hand and smiling at me n taunting me w those shiny puppy eyes th entire time#head in hands I Don't Get It#when will i get it#anyway scoreboard yuuji: 623453766235 hina: 0
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
I fear my hands may always be stained red
#do you guys remember the sketch to this painting#I made it April of 2023#ngl I was crying my eyeballs out when I drew it the headspace was not so great 💀#anyway I finally defeated the final boss and completed it#it’s the “i forgave you the moment you drew your sword on me’’ type beat#the “’ill take care of you’’#‘’ it’s rotten work’’#‘’not to me. not if it’s you”’’#type feel#the fact that diluc literally has red on the palms of his gloves#oh Jesus Christ#I rly wanted to convey the body language in this piece#I do hc kaeya to be taller than diluc but the way it happened diluc is bending down a bit to receive the hug#adds a bit of Sad#and the looking away despite not even being able to look at kaeya#the vulnerability and resignation#anyway#bye#diluc#Kaeya#ragbros#genshin impact
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
my love for him is stronger than any other force in the universe
#HHHEHEHEHEHEHEEEHEEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEE :))))))))))))))))))#I LOUVE YOU ROBINNNN YIIPPPEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!#ooooh teen titans robin i love you soooo#rewatching this show has been going well i still love all my favorite episodes and my favorite characters :3#teen titans#robin#teen titans robin#art#fanart#dc#dc comics#digital art#hes so emo i lovb him soooo much i need more of him i need to write a fanfic or something or ill wither away and die#also i love it when characters have detailed shoe soles. they are a pain in the ass to draw but they always look phenomenal imo
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is the funniest fucking thing, after you kinda murdered your professor you become friends and go to jcpenny for a friendship photoshoot
#im upset ill be away from my computer all weekend so i cant photoshop these goobers into funny little places#maybe ill find a way#puppet history#watcher#ryan bergara#shane madej#watcher entertainment
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
post 4.2 furina finds out neuvillette said she was 'prone to hysterics' and is like 'hahaha.... yeah, yeah i was wasn't i? it must have been awful, having to deal with me for all those centuries...'
and you know neuvillette is standing there wracked with guilt like
(it starts to storm and furina thinks its because he's remembering how annoying and frustrating it was working with her, and meanwhile neuvillette is three seconds away from throwing himself on the ground and begging for forgiveness)
#genshin#4.2 genshin#4.2 spoilers#neuvifuri#furina#neuvillette#alright genshin ill let you have this m/f ship#I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY#furinas trying to get away from it all and have some time to herself and meanwhile neuvillette is like#i will pay for everything. she will want for nothing. if she ever decides to get back into theatre then i will be there#AND I WILL BE APPLAUDING#genshin impact
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
putting those men in a Situation
#idk how the situation came to be. very in media res. if you have an answer id love to know#howd he end up picking him up like that. idk#star trek tos#star trek tos fanart#jim kirk#james t kirk#captain kirk#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#doctor mccoy#kirks pose looks like that meme thats like. just leave! just walk away!#i colored it and didnt like it lmao maybe ill upload that version onto kofi or something
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
hey. hey. is anyone else thinking about how this is the first time skizz gets to properly mourn a teammate. is anyone else thinking about the fact that this is the first grave he can lay flowers at, the first eulogy he spoke.
#secret life was his first time ever losing an ally but he had no time to mourn. he had to fight for his life and escape from his hunters#immediately.#he’s yellow now. only a couple people are even red. he isn’t especially in danger. but his friend his ally is dead in the ground.#im sososoooo ready for this to impact his series#HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE A TEAMMATE DIE AND YET THE WORLD IS NOT CRUMBLING#HOW DOES IT FEEL TO SURVIVE AND HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE#HOW DOES IT FEEL TO RETURN A HOLLOW HOME AND HAVE TO LIVE NORMALLY THERE#YOU CAN NO LONGER RELY ON YOUR SACRIFICE OF YOUR OWN DEATH TO RUN AWAY#im normal about him ok#wild life spoilers#skizzleman#sure ill maintag#wild life session 5 spoilers#wild life session five spoilers#wild life#life series spoilers#skizzposting#types types
668 notes
·
View notes