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Screaming around the screaming tree

The tree is screaming too

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bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental

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if i was undead i would spend so much time floating facedown in various bodies of water

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The best part of waking up

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Trying to remember this

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❗️Nevada voters - this is going to sound weird, but PICK UP YOUR PHONE if an unknown number calls.

**Lots of signatures on ballots are not matching and your ballot may need to be fixed.

TLDR; yes, signature matching is an antiquated way to verify ballots but it is still being used. Reportedly thousands of ballots here need to be cured. Answer the phone!

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It's Autumn, which means if I make a Big Pot of Soup it will Fix Everything. No one fact check me on this. We need to let the soup speak for itself.

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we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

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Bewitching with Babish

Ive seen people be like in modern fantasy like "oh the pritagonists can just look up spells on their phone how do you solve that"

Imma be honest most people who go on recipe websites and book every recipe they see don't even use them lmao why would with be different

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Me when people celebrate Christmas early: Nooo you have no respect for the sanctity of holidays its not even December yet !

Me when August: I'm the highwayman

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if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.

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i hate when someone says "clothes marketed to women are less practical/don't have pockets/are too revealing in general" and everyone just tells them to buy clothes from the men's section bc like don't you think women deserve to have wearable clothing made for us. also some of us have body types that make shopping in the men's section impractical AND some of us may want to wear things with aesthetic attributes that you can't find in the men's section but still want to be comfortable and not have our clothes disintegrate after three washes

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An ancient cult has finally succeeded in their ultimate mission: unleashing the immortal giant fuzzy worm off of the string that bound it. Your party's mission is to put the worm back on the string before he commits too many crimes.