#if you read this all then ily

[keyh0use]

why I've been absent & tw for m*rder, su*cide

I know I don't really owe anyone an explanation but I want to give one for my own piece of mind because I feel so guilty. Back in February I was injured really badly and hospitalised, and a couple days later my cousin, Christopher, was brutally murdered in prison. As a CO myself I've seen it happen more times than I can stomach to think about so it wasn't a huge shock, but we had gotten close over the last couples years, trying to provide him the support the rest of our family has denied him since his sentencing. Amongst so many other things we surprisingly had in common, he wrote too (not the same content as me, obviously, lol) and he was willing to provide me with a perspective I could only speculate on in Delicate, going over the relationships and how he would feel reconnecting with the person who got him incarcerated, like Rafe does with Barry in the story. And he succumbed to his injuries all by himself, no funeral, no obituary and I clung to that fic, terrified if anyone read it and criticised it I would literally never write again. As a distraction I put all my efforts into a story where Rafe tries to follow in his mothers footsteps by committing suicide, I just felt the heartache for it. My first funeral was for my aunt and uncle, Chris' parents, also murdered and the comparisons kept coming until I finished it. Then the same thing happened, it felt too real and vulnerable to share. So I tried writing something lighter, couldn't. Vampires? Blood, killing. Reminded me too much of what it felt like to be really hurt. And like what happened to someone I cared deeply for. As the months went by I pushed myself way too hard to get better physically and emotionally, pressured myself to sit through movies that made me uncomfortable to try and associate violence with actors instead of myself and ended up just getting way, way worse when I faced my attacker in court. Things slowed down after that, I tried to give myself a break that didn't make me feel guilty, ignored all the messages and comments asking for updates, just stayed off this side of social media all together so I wouldn't be reminded I'm not giving people the content they follow me for. My grandfathers cancer progressed, I spent a lot of time with him thankfully, and he committed medically assisted suicide the day of my best friends wedding rehearsal. The next night? Love of my life confesses his feelings for me but it's too late, we never said anything over the last 11 or so years and a couple weeks ago he married someone else. We buried my grampy, miscommunication tropes are super fun to write about but absolutely suck in real life, and I'm still not really feeling up to posting anything. All this to say I'm really sorry if I'm disappointing anyone. All I can do is promise I'm trying to figure everything out and that I haven't abandoned any works.

[auden-dahn]

"D-Don't worry about me! Focus on helping the little one, okay?" 🌠 panel redraw of @laikascomet

[sigtheta]

...But then... I realised that it was I who was even crueler.

(8/10/2024)

[bugsandboos]

reading everyone’s thoughts on the london special and marinette’s actions have given me a serious case of deja vu in relation to the s5 finale, here’s why

a very very VERY common reaction from the fandom i saw to the finale was “why are the writers letting gabriel get away with being a hero why isn’t he being held accountable horrible finale horrible writing i hate this show etc etc etc”

before i share my thoughts on this for like the thousandth time i just wanna mention i DID cry during the finale, partly because i was in shock and also because i HATED it. but now i genuinely believe it was one of if not the smartest thing the ml writers have ever conjured up and i just. fucking love it. (point is: i understand disliking it. that was me at some point, until i began to consider the implications of the “ending”)

similarly, a reaction i’ve seen to the london special (mainly from ml salters) is “why would the writers let marinette lie to the world when it’s so clearly morally wrong she’s such a horrible person she needs to be held accountable blah blah blah”

something both the s5 finale and the london special share is that THE ACTIONS THAT TAKE PLACE IN BOTH. ARE NOT MEANT. TO SIT WELL WITH THE AUDIENCE

NO writer on ml is trying to convince a fan that “gabriel was actually a hero because he made one selfless decision (that wasn’t even that selfless?????)”. NO writer on ml is trying to convince a fan that “marinette is completely right for hiding the truth about gabriel from not only adrien but also the whole world!!!!!! no one should ever find out!!!”

the entire point of the finale and special is to make the viewer uncomfortable, as we watch marinette sit with her questionable choices, watch adrien refer to his father as a hero and watch their class throw a party. none of this is supposed to make us feel at peace with the way this arc has concluded.

what people seem to be missing is that even if the s1-s5 arc has ended, the s6 arc is just beginning, CENTERED AROUND THE CHOICES THAT HAVE MADE US AS THE AUDIENCE FEEL SO UNCOMFORTABLE!! you’re completely ignoring the way the plot is set up if you think the writers are going to neglect gabriel’s storyline, because it is far from over.

i think it’s also important to mention that neither marinette nor adrien are at peace with what’s happened (even if that was implied during the s5 finale—the london special has provided us with this new information on their emotional statuses). marinette is clearly being eaten alive by guilt, seeking confirmation throughout the entire special that protecting adrien from the truth was the morally correct decision. adrien was obviously affected by his father’s death (contrasting the idea that he just “threw a party” without any emotional backlash), and will undoubtedly learn to grapple with his conflicting feelings on gabriel’s character throughout s6 (he sacrificed himself??? but he abused me??? but he saved ladybug and nathalie????? but he apparently assisted monarch?????)

POINT IS

no one is meant to be satisfied with the way things are in the miraculous universe at the moment. you aren’t supposed to want the truth about what really went down during recreation to stay hidden. if you feel uncomfortable with the current situation our main characters are in, GOOD! please stop the discrediting the writers, because your discomfort means they have done their job well.

[huggywuggysuppy]

Has Pearl Really Betrayed Gem?

Inspired by (this) recent transcript of Pearl talking about siding with Scar in SL and not believing she betrayed Gem at all.

It's interesting how Pearl always saw Murder Camel as a fun but temporary thing -- it was never a real alliance to her -- while EVERYONE ELSE clearly thought it meant something more. We're talking the Mounders discussing moving in with Gem & the Scotts level serious. Gem /definitely/ thought it was something more. Even in WL Scott was like "and you were like three steps away from betraying us and being your own thing with Pearl" (also him stressing that "no matter your other alliances, THIS is the top one" in SL). There's definitely something unequal here. And why is that?

Gem murdered Pearl. Like, twice. The second time while Pearl was actively BEGGING her to stop. For that red task to hit until she blocked with a shield.

So of course Pearl didn't see it as a real alliance. Both times she joined Gem were after Gem killed her! And to the other players who are veterans and used to self-sacrifice and murder, it's not that big a deal. But Pearl very rarely sacrifices herself -- off the top of my head she's only given lives to BigB back in Limited, which was much lower-stakes -- and definitely not by force. Pearl never really chose to ally with her. Working with Gem in the final session was almost entirely tactical: it was just a bonus that they got along.

And Gem? Gem doesn't notice. As far as she knows, sacrifice is not only normal but expected of a strong alliance. Thanks to Scott's immense self-sacrifice issues and Impulse's "yes and" tactical mind, she's literally responsible for two deaths apiece on her allies. Why wouldn't she lump Pearl in with that, who she's also taken two lives from? (Whew, does Gem murder a lot of people. love her). When she'd turned Pearl red, Pearl was angry and hurt, but Gem apologized. "I can't believe you still wanna be friends with me after this." Gem had said, and Pearl replied, "I can't believe it either. But I guess here we are."

That's why it's such a betrayal at the end. Gem thought they were okay. Scar's been public enemy #1 for so long, Pearl literally chose him as her target when she turned zombie. Meanwhile, Gem and Pearl have been working together for the past 2-3 sessions (plus or minus a couple times Gem murdered her). Pearl should've turned on Scar.

And that leads us to now. Gem, who was betrayed because she thought she was safe and Pearl was cool with it and was her ally. When the server thought they were so close they would team up together. When really, Pearl had never thought the same, because why should she? Gem had only ever hurt her and her allies. No, Pearl's only crime was not communicating clearly enough and denouncing Gem entirely. But against the whole server, the fandom's gaze too, all insisting Gem and her were in Life, for Life?

5 AM Pearl has a lot to work with.

Thank you so much for reading! I, too, fell into the trap and accused them both of betrayal. But I was blinded by wanting Shinyduo to stay together! I should never doubt you, Pearlescentmoon. Never let us sway you from your path.

[wu-does-art]

will probably had a very interesting talk with mike later.

[witchkittymeow]

Its them Its them! I'm so stinking proud of these guys! Ive been saying this for a while now but jeez I need another shelf man 😭

@julialepetit

[rhiangalaxy]

Ruthlessness Is Mercy Upon Ourselves

[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. A young Shen Jiu stands at the forefront, half of his face is shrouded and he is covered in various injuries and blood. With his clothes and hair in various states of stained and disheveled. He is pointing a blood covered sword towards the ground in his right hand and his left hand is clenched into a fist. He is bleeding from his eyes, nose and ears, appearing to be in the midst of a qi deviation. Behind him is a circular doorway that is full of fire and smoke. Blood stains the floor. End ID]

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

POV: you roll up to your boyfriend's house to take that sweet new truck of his up to the lake on a trip you've been planning for a while but then his old scientist friend shows up out of nowhere in a delorean and the strangest fit ever and tells you two to get in and then the thing starts flying(??) and travels 30 years into the future(???) where supposedly your boyfriend and you are married now(??) and then you black out and wake up in your house but it's definitely not YOUR house and you can't leave because there's no HANDLES on the FREAKING DOORS and then you get greeted by your future son(???) (who looks exactly like your boyfriend by the way) (and so does your daughter?) (where the fuck did your genes go??? are his just that strong?? did we clone him???) (also you have a daughter by the way) and learn that your boyfriend (husband?) gets into this terrible accident that causes him to give up his lifelong passion and then you witness him commit fraud and get fired via two dozen fax machines and then when you finally get to escape you immediately run into yourself 30 years older(??????) and it's so shocking that you black out AGAIN and when your boyfriend wakes you up he's dressed like a cowboy for some reason(??) and then you almost get into that accident you learned about earlier but it's fine because your boyfriend received some character growth along with that odd cowboy fit of his apparently and he takes you to the train tracks to show you the wreckage of the flying delorean you got into earlier (and yes, it WAS a time machine and all of that was DEFINITELY REAL and NOT A DREAM) and now the weird cowboy fit makes a lot more sense, and then all of a sudden there's a flying train now too(??) and your boyfriend's old scientist friend pops out with an entire new family(???) and when you ask him about the fax you nicked from the future because like, he's the one who made the damn machine surely he has answers, he ends up telling you a really inspirational piece of advice, actually, and then his flying time machine train takes off in the blink of an eye and THEN suddenly your boyfriend has the worst adrenaline crash anyone has ever experienced ever and now you're standing in an empty railroad among the wreckage of a car-turned-time-machine with your boyfriend in your arms and absolutely no clue what decisions you made in your life could have possibly led up to this. your name is jennifer parker and you have just experienced the weirdest, most absurd hour of consciousness in your entire life.

loosely inspired by this fic i read! please check it out :] and while you're at it check out the rest of this author's fics :] im a big fan of the one where marty is a ghost

[kedsandtubesocks]

drive ╏ roll-a-trope fic challenge

Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: An early birthday celebration trip for Joel arrives & you’re excited to tag along… there’s just something you’ve been meaning to tell him about

prompt: #2 - road trip

warnings/tags: no explicit warnings but all my writing is 18+ only so MDNI, no use of y/n, pre-outbreak canon, established relationship, brief pov switch, light gendered language usage, Sarah Miller being the best, thoughts of marriage & children, hidden/surprise pregnancy, fluff & then ending angst (I’m sorry)

word count: 2k

a/n: thank you so much to @burntheedges for putting on this challenge for us, I’m so grateful to be a part of this thanks again Kate! Divider by the amazing @saradika-graphics (thank you & ily) & to you, if you’re reading this - thank you so much ♡

The drive from Austin to Corpus Christi was not one Joel took often, but this time it’s special.

This is first road trip with his girls, you and Sarah. It’s an early birthday week celebration for him. And honestly? He could just be on the road, driving around all day with no destination, and he wouldn’t mind a damn minute.

You by his side, Sarah in the back singing along to the radio - he never thought he’d ever find this slice of heaven before him.

He knew how nervous you were about the trip, knowing this would be another big step in the relationship. But with how effortlessly natural it was seeing you wake up in his bed, help pack the truck, even make breakfast for Sarah… a settling sensation filled his chest like you were always meant to be here, like realizing you were a finishing stitch into Joel’s life.

It’s a perfect early birthday treat he wants to savor forever.

With the windows rolled down, the traces of the morning sunlight illuminating the air, the beat of the radio, and you laughing at something Sarah said, Joel Miller is beyond content. The scenery from the Austin city limits blurs into soft hills that turn into stunning stretches of green. Then the towering palm trees arrive.

The few benefits of the Texas heat is still getting beach days in mid September.

The shimmer of the ocean already in sight perks Sarah up, and Joel beams.

“Dad, we have to go to those beach shops first please.” She urges, then eagerly explains to you the lure of the way too ridiculous tourist trap spots.

“Some even have these huge fake sharks in front you can take pictures with.” Sarah paints the image with brilliant excitement.

You’re glancing back at Sarah, hanging on her every word with graced patience, and Joel thinks his heart might melt out of his ribs.

He’s found something special here with you. He almost feels selfish at how badly he wants to hold onto it tight, never let you go.

As promised, before heading to the shoreline, Joel stops by a tourist shop that has a very large plastic shark wide with its teeth open before the door.

You laugh, twinkling and brilliant seeing it.

“See I told ya!” Sarah laughs happily.

“Oh we gotta take all the pictures with it.” You eagerly suggest and Joel wonders…

If maybe inside he grabs one of those ridiculous sea shell rings and propose to you right here and now.

-

The shop stands coated in a unique type of plastic over coated painted wonder. There’s a painted mural of seagulls flying over a bright pink sky on the wall. Another wall is coated top to bottom in various t-shirts that make you and Sarah giggle. So many wind chimes made of seashells hang from above.

You can’t believe your eyes trying to soak it all in.

“They even have hermit crabs here?” You’re a bit surprised at the rows of take home creatures that crawl around in their containers.

“Yes, ugh I’ve been trying to convince dad to let me get one for years.” Sarah sighs slightly pouting. “But he isn’t a fan.”

“Say it’s his birthday present.” You joke, and Sarah snickers.

You adore Joel’s daughter. Sarah is bright, incredibly clever and sweet, a pure wonder you’re grateful has allowed you into her and her dad’s life.

She even has been secretly telling you what she might be getting Joel for his birthday.

“I think I’m gonna just end up fixing his watch for him. I know he won’t ever do it himself.” She’s a considerate and deeply caring soul. Something she takes after her dad beautifully.

“Well if you need me to cover for you or take you, I can help.” You offer.

Sarah turns to you wearing the kindest smile and thanks you for the offer.

“But I think I got a plan. If it doesn’t work out though, trust me you’re my first alibi.” She nods firm.

“I’m honored, just don’t have me breaking you out of jail just yet.” You grin, and she playfully nudges you.

It’s affectionate. You learned fast the Millers love to tease, love showing their affection with quick wit and deep bonding. You’re grateful to be a part of that now.

Sarah eventually wanders back to Joel. You wonder if she’s really going to try and persuade him to get a hermit crab.

Wandering on your own now, you stumble across more clothing.

Specifically, you find yourself gravitated to the baby clothes section.

The small little onesies with dolphins on them, and the few cute shirts that say my first beach trip, all tug at your heart.

It takes everything in you not to grab one.

But you don’t want to spoil your birthday gift to Joel, not yet. You just found out earlier this week after all.

You just had to wait a little longer. You hope it will be worth it.

Before Joel or Sarah can spot you, you try finding one of the Millers first. Sarah of course chats with one of the cashiers at the hermit crab counter, and you snicker walking towards Joel. He stands surveying the kitschy fish wall decorations.

“I think we’re going to be going home with an extra little crawling critter. Sarah’s persistent.” You smirk.

Joel rolls his eyes.

“She can try all she want, but we ain’t taking a damn crab home.” He drawls out with a classical grumpy Joel pout. “Unless it’s fried.”

You snicker moving to lean against his side while an indescribable affection, a cotton candy delicate sweetness, blooms in you and you haven’t even gotten to the beach yet.

Joel must sense it too. His arms immediately draw you into him more, and he kisses the top of your head.

“Glad we took this road trip.” He mutters soft.

“Me too.” You agree rubbing his back.

“Sarah said we should make it yearly thing.” He adds.

“We should. Good way to celebrate your birthday early.” You fondly say.

He huffs. “Don’t want any crazy celebration I told ya. Just my girls, Tommy, and maybe a cake, that’s all I need.”

“Nothing crazy huh?” You tease soft.

“Baby, haven’t had a crazy birthday since I was twenty and ain’t wanted one since.” He snorts.

Now slight fear tugs at you. Maybe you should tell him your surprise now, or sooner than expected.

“Hey,” Joel’s soft warm hand moves to your face letting his thumb softly rub your jaw. “Y’okay, darlin’?”

You swallow hard, but nod with a smile.

“Yup just ready to get to the beach.” You half lie.

“Me too,” then he leans down closer to your ear. “Can’t wait to see how fuckin’ sexy you’ll be in that swim suit of yours-”

“Joel Miller.” You cry playfully aghast and swat his chest.

Joel rolls his eyes, yet a smile tugs at his lips.

Soon enough Sarah calls out for her dad causing you and him to slowly pull away.

The beach is calling too after all.

-

The rain patters a soft steady melody against the truck. You’re thankful everyone got in a few good hours in the waves, soaking in the nice weather, before the rain drops began. A downfall to Texas weather is its unpredictability.

Sarah sleeps soundly in the back tired out from enjoying the beach.

Sitting in the passengers detached in the cozy warmth of the truck, you even catch your eyes dropping shut every now and then.

“Get some rest, sweetheart. We still got a few hours on the road.” Joel, ever considerate, softly says over the radio.

You decide to maybe just rest for a little bit, settling into the seat more.

“Sorry we didn’t get to spend a full day at the beach.” You mutter, closing your eyes.

“Don’t be sorry, honey,” Joel reassures warm. His hand slides over to squeeze your knee closest to him across the counsel.

“Today was great.” His voice is thick, earnest in the buried emotions waiting for you to sink into. Now opening your eyes again, you glance over to Joel.

The soft stormy lighting coats him dreamy and cozy. His hair is even still fluffed up from the sand and sea, the picture perfect dreamy vacation man or possibly a mythical sea god you’ve luckily caught onto land. He’s incredibly handsome, your Joel.

“Thanks for coming.” He adds above a soft whisper.

“Thanks for letting me tag along.” You reply back just as soft, delicate.

“Of course,” his eyes flicker to you briefly. “Here’s hopin’ to many more trips together.”

Your heart swells, and you wonder if you might just get swept into the current of Joel Miller forever.

“Here’s to more trips together.” You repeat, solidifying his words into your soul.

You hope he’ll be happy with the news you have. You’re still hesitant about it, but right now, simple tender peace envelopes you right now in this moment.

“Love you, Miller. Happy early birthday.” You say half asleep as the exhaustion creeps in.

“Thanks baby, love y’too.” His voice floats in with the rain drops, and it's beautiful.

Your eyes glance out at the misty road blurring before you and how the rain paints the world in a water color soaked dream. Closing your eyes, you decide to get some sleep on this drive.

Maybe you will tell him about your surprise when you get home.

Then Joel’s phone buzzes.

From what you catch, it’s Tommy. Must be something about work because Joel’s voice low takes on his contractor big brother boss tone.

“Yeah, I’ll check it out when I get home.” He sighs annoyed, tired.

Joel’s been so busy this month. You even know how much it took for him to take time for this trip.

A heaviness weighs you down, and a slight edge of guilt follows. Maybe you’ll wait to tell him on his actual birthday. Surprise him with the little longhorn onesie you bought ready to show him and of course Sarah.

In the truck, you simply slip into the cocoon of crystalized peace here. You already dream of another beach trip, the next time maybe with a baby car seat in the back and Sarah happily cooing over her sibling…

And your hand holding Joel’s staring out at the road ahead, hopeful for this new path with him.

-

Sarah’s morning knock jolts you and Joel up wearily out of bed.

“Didn’t know we slept in so late.” Joel mutters, dragging you closer into his sleepy hold.

“Mhm, early birthday sex would do that to ya.” You reply with a grin.

Today’s the day.

“Happy birthday baby.” You whisper adoringly, pressing your lips to his, basking in this moment with him.

“Thanks sweetheart.” His warm sleepy voice drips molten sin, and it’s hard fighting the urge to call into work today and begging Joel to do the same.

The morning is eased, perfectly Joel. Sarah even cooks eggs for everyone and soon enough Tommy joins.

A part of you wants to blurt out your announcement now with all the Millers here, but then contract work again takes over the focus of the conversation. Then the weird news announcement about Jakarta shifted the conversation. But you try not to worry about it.

Today would be a good day.

It’s Joel’s day after all.

As Joel talks to his neighbors, Sarah makes an excuse about forgetting something then drags you off to the side.

“Dad’s gonna forget a cake, I just know it.” She sighs knowingly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll pick one up.” You reassure her warm.

She beams warm then hugs you tight.

Normally Joel drives you to work, but now with the mission of picking up the cake, you use the excuse of needing to stay late as to why you take your car.

Joel pouts but gives you a sweet see you later kiss.

Tommy almost seems to know something is up cause he winks knowingly at you.

It’s a soft morning, a rare beautiful day already with Austin traffic being somewhat manageable.

You happily reassure yourself you’ll tell Joel about the baby when you get home from work. You hope to

surprise him with a cake and then the little extra sweet announcement with it.

Still sitting in Austin traffic, the radio again discusses the news of Jakarta now going on lockdown. The somber tone sends a chill up your spine. You simply change the radio to another station.

You let your mind return to that possible dream of the road trips to come, and of the little onesie sitting in your work bag waiting.

Today is going to be a good day. You just know it.

[obikinetic]

Missing your obikin art hours pls come back to us 💓💓

Anon you are so sweet and I made this just for you 🥺💖

[doctorsiren]

this is me intently reading all the tags y’all put on my posts (i love to see them)

[tears-of-taelia]

This day still terrifies me. To my core. With the strange weather that happened before, I expected something to occur. I could have never predicted the magnitude of that event. I assume you're here to wake me up then? You want us to face that evil again? I'm… We're afraid... Of everything. Of everyone. I don't know what I'm supposed to do! WE DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!

[nibbelraz]

heh the funniest thing about all the sqh stuff is I literally have most of a fic written from outsider pov which is basically sqh’s head disciple realizing he’s a god and that any prayers to him get answered (usually by sqh without him realizing it). It’s several k words now and the random sqh posting makes me hopeful some people would like it 💜

ANON

ANON PLEASE

On my KNEES AND CRYING PLEASE SEND ME THE FIC WHEN YOU DROP IT I PROMISE YOU SO MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE SCREAMING WITH JOY AT THIS CONCEPT

if not I will scream with joy, I AM screaming with joy rn, I personally will be your number one fan

anon I would love to read this whenever you post/publish it

[just-null]

Just curious, have you read a Noritoshi x reader fanfic on Quotev titled Body is one, mind is a million?? It is SO. GOOD. SO. GOOD.

^^^real image of me reading that fic in every chapter

Anon, I need to make out with you rn. Why was this gem hidden from me. Tysm for telling me about this, i will think of nothing else.

heres the link if you want to read it for yourself!

[my rabid ramblings and fanboying under the cut]

FORGIVE ME FOR THE PERSON ILL BECOME ONCE I FINISH READING THIS ALL. IM GONNA TRY SO HARD NOT TO MAKE THIS MY PERSONALITY.

I read the first chapter and intro, and I'm already hooked. Stoic and PINING NORITOSHI??? + TEASING GN READER?????????? I COULD FEEL THE PINING FIRST CHAP IN IM FUCKING DONE.

dude, you have no idea how badly I needed this in my veins. it's so tough finding fics that I like, and this one is so //PUNCHES MYSELF.. man if i tweak how i write for Noritoshi bc of this fic, i'll die. tysm to the writers out there.

IM GONNA GO DELUSIONAL BRO OH MY GOD AFJEK the way Kuzure (the author) wrote Noritoshi to be annoyed by you but grow to love you. its. ITS MY FAVORITE TROPE.. kuzure........ i have to add you to the wall of heros..

[neon-tigre95]

some more emotionally unavailable sniper-dad coming right up