#btw thanks for all the love on the last post
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Id like to start this off by saying that this is an absolutely lovely post; thank you OP for making it. Now I would like to share our own experience with the education system in general, and what our state called- “Critical minds classes”.
Now if you don’t know what that is- it’s a thing in our state where 30 kids are chosen by the state to go into these special critical minds classes. We in particular were put in critical minds math and let me tell ya- IT FUCKING SUCKED.
All the class was, was us sitting in a certain spot that we could not move from the ENTIRE OVER AN HOUR THAT WE WERE IN THERE in SILENCE while working on these list of MathXL links. And if you know how MathXL works- yeahhh it was absolutely awful. Some of the worst parts of that class though, was that we had to keep our bags up front the entire time and we wouldn’t get anything because we wasn’t allowed out of our seat, and worst of all- the teacher that lead the class, always seemed like she just didn’t wanna be there. She felt intimidating to us so we never were able to approach her with our getting insanely nervous. She reminded us of the bodies mother with the way she looked so that made it worse. (Also edit: I just remembered- I believe for a good chunk of the first half of the semester she was watching our computers??)
Btw- remeber those check lists of MathXL links that I mentioned earlier??? Yeah. There was like- 18-20 of those links on these checklists that we used to have a month to complete! But then it was shortened to only a WEEK because the semester was ending and she needed to get grades in ig.
We had a whole ass panic attack infront of our history teacher becuase we were on list SIX, and there was TEN of these things to do. And I swear it felt like each list just had more links- we fucking hated it. I believe we finally made it to list eight before we eventually gave up and let the burn out take us over and just wrote in our diary the entire period. Except for the days we had quizzes and did blookets, which was hardly ever. At that point we were just SO fucking done of just not being able to understand ANYTHING put in front of us no matter how hard we tried. We just barely passed that class with a D.
I also remeber that we went to summer school after seventh grade because our grades were so low our teachers didn’t know if they could pass us. It was the same with in fifth grade, the teachers were nervous to let us go into middle school because we were just barely passing. Our grades were that bad.
We got to this point(the whole critical minds math thing and giving up,) because ever since like- second grade, we had been having massive trouble with math and grades and over all just confidence in general. Especially in the math field.
I remember we began cheating on a lot of our assignments and tests in second grade because our confidence had been bumped down that badly, and we just couldn’t really understand it. Or at least I believe that we couldn’t understand it- I’ll get into second grade math in another post. Regardless, we ended up sizing cheating as a last ditch effort a lot in school because we got to a point where we felt like we didn’t have a choice.
We would try so hard at something in math, only for our brain not being able to remember it, how to do it, and for it to also not make sense in our brain. It absolutely crushed us one day when we ended up in an argument with the father one day over another bad math grade and we yelled: “Is my best not enough not for you!?” And he just yelled back: “NO!” That day crushed us. The father always says that we just weren’t applying ourselves enough, which hurt even MORE because we WERE applying ourselves more, we WERE trying, and as hard as we could too! But we can only do so much, but it honestly seems like the parents, especially the father, just cannot realize that. And it hurts us, so much.
We always saw our friends in school absolutely soar and it was fucking awful how they would be getting into honors classes, getting to go up a grade or even graduate early, and then we would be sitting here in what is supposed to be an “extra help” class when in reality it didn’t help us at all. Due to our mental disabilities/Illnesses, we weren’t able to learn like the other kids were able too. All we’ve ever wanted was to be smart enough to be able to fly through school like our friends, study efficiently, and get our diploma normally like any other kid, but no. We didn’t have that experience and we never will due to our life and the way that our brain works and we fucking hate it.
There was also of times where we felt stupid, useless, and pathetic for not being able to keep up with our allistic, and non-ADHD-having peers. It especially was rough considering that that was the standard our parents set us too all the time, and we just could not reach the standards that she and the father set for us.
We tried tutoring a few times, but it honestly didn’t help much either. We never ever got the help that we needed growing up and I know that we never will get the help we need. And I hate it. So many people failed us when it came to education and I look back and can’t help but feel bad for us. We were just a young, neurodivergent kid with a dissociative disorder along with many other disorders alone with it, and a complete mess too. A mess that no one really bothered to help with. It was awful.
What we needed back then was one-on-one assistance with someone who could understand us and what was going on with us, we never got that. And that was because everyone around us failed us. Either failing to recognize our needs, or just not thinking that we needed them because it wasn’t super duper obvious that we did.
Kinda fucked up that we all coo and sympathize with "former gifted kids" but never talk about the students who had to stay late after school or over the summer for remedial classes/clubs, who struggled to get above a C, who were given up on or punished. Who tried so hard to understand or just couldn't. Who were grouped with the "stupid kids" (a classmate called us that in remedial math btw)
Autistic kids and adhders who can't relate to their gifted peers and are constantly alienated by them. Kids who struggled in school due to dealing with a chronic or mental illness or physical/learning/developmental disability. Those of us who have had to drop out of highschool or college. Kids who worked so hard and wanted to be seen as smart, but never were. Who watched as their peers seem to fly by them in school, while they were left behind. Who were bullied and put down by those in the gifted and honors classes. Whose confidence was absolutely destroyed by education.
I love you all and I'm so sorry the school system failed you. I'm sorry you weren't properly accommodated and given the education you deserved. I'm sorry people put you down for something that they never had to fight for.
#autism#adhd#c did system#Alex Mason fictive#this blog is ran by a fictive!#system fictive#fictive blog#being nuerodivergent sucks ass#vent post#vent#cw vent#spoonie#disability#chronic illness#chronic pain
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2024 Fandom in Review
Look I know it's been 2025 for five days now but has it, really? In the few days before NYD I saw all your wonderful retrospective posts while feverishly finishing the last chapter of Basil Pitch's Diary and thinking "wow that looks so fun must keep writing," so here we are. Also, are the earth's rotations not a construct of capitalism? Think about it.
I'm not sure how to calculate words written, because I posted a lot of stuff that I wrote before 2024. If you include everything I *posted* in 2024, it's 4 fics, totaling 56k:
Simon Snow and the Selkies Four (3k, T, for the Carry On Picture Book, featuring gorgeous art by @ionlydrinkhotwater and @technetiumai)
Basil Pitch's Diary (WIP, 11/14, 56k, T).
The Stag Party (WIP, 1/4, 1k, T, for @facewithoutheart's birthday.)
Into Her Arms (7k, T, for @ivelovedhimthroughworse's birthday, co-written with the fabulous @cutestkilla)
The entire picture book fic was written in 2022, though, and the first seven chapters of BPD were written in 2022-2023, so if you look only at what I wrote this year, it's more like 3 fics totaling 33k.
I feel like these numbers are very low compared with most people who posted these kinds of roundups--I see you out there beating yourselves with "only" 100k--but I'm honestly feeling pretty chuffed about it. And chuffed about feeling chuffed, if that makes any sense, because historically, going easy on myself has not been a strong suit.
It would be a lie to pretend I'm any less thirsty for external validation than ever. Part of why I'm feeling content about my word count is because I've been showered in love and support, by readers in general and especially in the form of Bunbaz art by Skee, Ashton, Dalia, Monica (and Monica, and Monica). Oh, and there was also @rimeswithpurple getting him tattooed on her fuckin' body. (He now has gray fur and black ears, btw, but I don't think that version is on tumblr dot com yet.) Whenever I feel imposter syndrome creeping up I look at and/or squeeze the Bunbazzes, and feel better. Thank you all for being such a supportive, steadfast, loving community.
In other ways it's been a bumper year for fandom. I got to meet many of you at SSCONe, and otherwise visited with fandom friends in four cities and two countries. I brought Tiny Baz to Sicily to learn about his roots (and to keep me company when I got COVID and had to cross a lot off my itinerary). I also got my hands on a full-size Baz standee who is still folded up in my closet (I KNOW) but who I vow will be out and proud by this time next year.
Anyway, 2024 was pretty good for me personally even though American democracy, such as it is, is in free-fall, and no matter what 2025 brings, you'll be the best part of it.
A tardy thank you to for tagging me to @emeryhall @monbons @forabeatofadrum @rimeswithpurple @nausikaaa
@ileadacharmedlife @prettygoododds @artsyunderstudy @alexalexinii @best--dress
@j-nipper-95 @stitchyqueer @roomwithanopenfire @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @skeedelvee
@mooncello @whatevertheweather @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon
It's so not New Years anymore so I'm not like, tagging tagging you, but if @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @ebbpettier or @ic3que3n, or you reading this would like to toot your own 2024 horn, I beg you to toot away.
#2024 roundup#my writing#toot toot#basil pitch's diary#bunbaz#simon snow and the selkies four#the stag party of nicodemus petty#carry on picture book project
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XOXO DROPLETS OC INTRODUCTION POST <3333
She sucks, I love her ❤️ Meet Vanity !!!
🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜
Vanity Franklin
She/Her
Straight (?)
Birthday - Dec. 24th
Vanity Franklin! Well, just Vanity actually, because her last name is so basic and boring, unlike her. Obviously. She has a rare medical condition that makes her eyes purple (What do you mean contacts? That's like, so rude, it's a real thing. Look it up. /Sarc) and slick black hair that's TOTALLY natural. No, her roots aren't 'showing', and it's actually totally weird and obsessive of you to say that.
She's a proud goth, and she's like WAY into the culture. Once, she even saw Panic! At The Disco live, so. Yeah.
When she gets to SSB, she expects to slide by, miserable but undetected. (I mean seriously, making her take out her spiky jewlery should totally be considered a human rights violation or something.) Then of course, she gets shoved in a group of losers.
There's Bae, who thinks he's so much better than her, as if looking ANCEINT at his age is an accomplishment. I mean seriously, he could pass for like, 24. If she actually needed that wheelchair, (which she does NOT because that's like SO embarrassing, she's not 60) she would roll right over his stupid 700$ shoes.
There's Jeremy and Pran, who are definitely still annoying, but Jeremy thankfully avoids her, and she heard someone say Pran is like an environmentalist or whatever, so she guesses that's cool.
There's Nate, who she decides very quickly she likes to annoy, just to see him get all mad. She makes him cry once though, which just makes her uncomfortable. Don't people know to keep that to themselves?
There's Everett, who's a TOTAL POSER. Honestly, he probably doesn't even know who Gerard Way is. He's totally just like a trend hopper. Ugh.
There's Shiloh. Who she DOESN'T 'like', thank you very much, what is this- Preschool? He's just... entertaining. And he gives her gifts. Ugly things that are totally NOT goth, but it would be like rude to get rid of them or whatever. It's nothing.
This group sucks. It's so hard being the only one who's not a total normie </3 Maybe something funny will happen. Probably not though, 'cause the world is just so depressing like that.
(Here's what she looks like without the hair dye/straightening, contacts, and makeup btw.)
Picrew Link One
Picrew Link Two
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some more emotionally unavailable sniper-dad coming right up
#i was trying out some new brushes and have ZERO self control#don't judge me i'm SICK#curse you matt mercer#sorry other companions I TRIED#fanart#maccready#robertmaccreadyfallout#robert maccready#fallout 3#fallout 4#fallout companions#fallout fanart#fallout series#fallout#fallout tv show#maccready fo4#maccready fallout 4#fo4 maccready#fo4 companions#fo4 fanart#fo4#fallout 4 companions#fallout 4 maccready#matthew mercer#matt mercer#babyratboy#he's precious to me so what#btw thanks for all the love on the last post#you guys rule and if ur reading this ily <3
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I didn’t expect this post to get so much attention (thank you guys SO MUCH btw I love reading all the messages) so in case anyone missed it on my last post, the Kirby design belongs to my good friend @moirasstrings (you should totally go check them out, they also do Kirby gijinkas art!)
They cancel out each others’ braincells
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when will the dan and phil it takes two playthru return…
little concept sketch i did:
#dan and phil#dan and phil games#dip and pip#it takes two#phandom#dnp#thank you all for the love and support from my last post btw 😭💜#youre all very sweet#i saw one person say they looked like shimejis#currently in the process of making some shimejis for hikaru and rihito#once i finish that maybe i can try to do a dnp shimeji set#whooooo knows we'll see!!!!#NOOOO I FORGOT DANS EARRING IN THE MAIN DRAWINGS#pretend its there
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And finally, here are the mini-animated parts of the animatic!!
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#in stars and time siffrin#siffrin#moon’s art#animation#ok sorry last post am done now <3<3#also also!!!#thank you all for your lovely comments btw 😭💙 it made me so happy!! 🥺
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ghost gives konig a private lesson feat. soap as a very happy spectator.
read updates early on patreon
#in this part konig tries his very best to not pop a stiffie#and ghost smirks#which rocks his world more than it should <3#we love sparring tropes in this house#its such a good excuse to have the boys put each other into all kinds of poses#let's just call it practise for later#also#only one last story-based part in this series before it devolves completely into more.../fun/ content#peep the patreon for when that happens since tumblr wont let me do more than post previews#thanks for reading this far btw#y'all have been such an enthusiastic audience <3#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#konig#cod mw2#soapbox saga#ghostsoap#ghostsoapkonig
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The second I saw this tweet this popped into my head
#incorrect pokemon quotes#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon scarvi#pokemon larry#pokemon poppy#gym leader larry#my last post did CRAZY numbers and I was like WOAH#like I legit didn’t expect it to pop off like that#most attention one of my posts has ever gotten#thank you guys for all the love btw I’m glad you enjoy my stupid sense of humor lmao
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happy wolfwood wednesday nicholas d wolfwood is a LOSER and i don't mean stampede wolfwood (although he is too with his tech bro ass big sunglasses and coat) but i mean trimax wolfwood. literally everything he does is so fucking funny to me. the scene where he tells vash to shoot him? did he honest to god think "oh yeah vash is gonna shoot me this will be great" ????????? like what did he truly expect to happen. and he monologues through the whole fight against grey the ninelives. he makes me sick why is he so EXTRA
#nicholas d wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun maximum#trigum maximum spoilers#i guess?? idk just covering my bases here#but listen there is something so seriously messed up in that man's brain#miss melanie says it best when she says he has stubborn ideals#thinks he is right ALL THE TIME and it clouds his judgement#why are you talking to vash rn. he cant hear you babygirl#hi btw. thanks for the love on my last post. i'm glad that one hit#rora rambles
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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#This is about the last thing I could have imagined happening to me but.#A girl just slid what pretty realistically is a love letter under my door and. I really don't know what to do about it#God. I like her a lot but I also really just love her as a friend??#I don't. I have no idea what to reply because on one hand if I said something like#“yeah every second we spend together is precious to me too I love you <3 ” I would probably. Definitely come across wrong#But at the same time I can't just reply coldly I don't want to be rude. I do enjoy the time we spend together.#I just feel that if I don't reply with the same love and dedication I will come off as rude and make her sad and I really don't want to#But also I'm like. 100% sure I'm not into her romantically#It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way.#She spent words of admiration on me I really feel like I can't own you know.#She seems to look up to me a lot and I don't think I should be looked up to at all.#“You're a wonderful‚ very strong‚ and intelligent person” HOW DO YOU EVEN REPLY TO THAT.#“Uh I disagree but you're entitled to your opinion”... ?#Thank you?#This is. Ugh. I'm really not fit for this kind of stuff.#I LOVE exploring characters being in love and putting them in awkward ridiculous situations that make them miserable.#I HATE to be in such situations#As if exams weren't enough. How do I deal with that#Posting this just in case anyone has genuine advice btw. How do you reject a girl you actually like a lot#And how should I even write her back. Because she said to and I'm the WORST at writing back#Sis this is stressing me off so much. I want to dig a hole and disappear in it. I'm not getting out of my room for the next six months.#(For context we live in the same students dorm)#random rambles#I'm so distressed right now this is the absolute worst.#Like I was pretty fine with where we were at but now I feel like I really don't want to spend time with her again for a long time.#Deleting this soon hopefully
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It is so cold on this goddamn bus. Please. Help
#there is NO reason it should be 65 degrees in here….#I’m wearing a short sleeve dress bc it was so hot this morning because. you know. Florida in the summer#but then it rained and now it’s cool and breezy outside#and I was going to take my scooter home and enjoy the weather but I decided to take the bus last minute bc I was worried it might rain again#BUT IT’S STILL NOY RAINING#AND I WOULD’VE BEEN HOME BY NOW BC THE BUS TAKES SO LONG#AND#I AM SO COLD 😭#this post is sooo light hearted btw I love the bus. thank you bus#I love to sit and write my silly fan fiction instead of doing cardio#but I just get cold so easily. and I didn’t bring a jacket today of all days. and for some reason TODAY every building has been so cold 😭😭😭😭#anuway I’m excited to get home and eat my new snacks 👍 and play vidya game#also I just had therapy! it was good :) I didn’t really have anything to talk about but I think it went well regardless#I kept apologizing for talking too much and also. everything. and she was like ‘let’s reframe that shall we’ 🥲😅😅😅#ellyposting
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movie screenshot redraw !! ^-^ ❄️
#tried smth a little out of my comfort zone :0#thank u all for the love for my last post btw!!#it rlly means a lot <3#todd anderson#dead poets society#dps#dead poets society fanart#dps fanart
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and you realise that the way home is a lot shorter than you remember
#ocs#art#romeo derosiers#artëm orlov#who am i and why is everything i draw turn into yaoi . i love them but why are my last posts all them#thank you so much to the person yhat wrote an entire essay in the tags of my dq9 post btw luv u#they were very quick messy doodles of an idea i had so im glad you liked them :3333
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i think secretly i’m just an elain girlie pretending to be a nesta girlie
elain archeron is for the girls who are unapologetically feminine, who are called weak over and over and have to keep proving themselves, who are lovers and romantics at heart, who have a voice but just want to choose when they use it, who are quiet because they want to be and not because they don’t have any thoughts or feelings
#— retweets.#thank you for all the love on this post btw 💞#in light of the new sjm interview#i think she’d agree with me#elain being feminine doesn’t make her weak for the last time
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