#if you can try to get a therapist to help you or a family member

[dimonds456]

re: your "positive post" some of us are abusers dawg. no getting past that and there's no such thing as healing for that. idk why people keep saying that shit when its dead obvious abusers dont change

See this? This attitude right here? This is what is stopping you from changing.

Everyone can realize that they need to change. Most of us do need to change, at least on some level. Humans are meant to grow and change throughout our lives, that's why it takes 25 years for our brains to finish developing.

So you fucked up. Badly. No one is denying that.

But, that doesn't mean you're doomed to repeat yourself.

You have the power within you to realize what you're doing and stop. No one else can do it for you. If you realize you're falling back on old habits, take a breath, apologize, and walk away for a little while to cool off, reflect, or whatever else you need to do instead of just committing to the path you've chosen.

You might relapse. You might think it's too hard. You might find yourself wondering if it'd even be worth it to put in the effort to be better. I can promise you right now that it is. It is worth it. Growth isn't linear, and you cannot get better overnight. But that doesn't mean you're done for.

If the people you hurt don't want to be around you, that's completely fair. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't meet new people or lock yourself away in a cave somewhere.

Being good is a choice.

Everyone can change, and you can do a little better, even if you don't think so. I promise.

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[deus-ex-mona]

little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3

[howcanisaveafallenangel]

i am. severely depressed lol.

[thebibliosphere]

In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.

Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."

Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."

And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.

Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.

My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.

And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"

And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.

Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.

I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.

The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:

ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.

(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)

And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."

And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.

[themoonsbeloved]

I still need help

Its now the 8th of January and despite being told by my friend who spoke with her boss 3 weeks ago during their meeting that he was to hire me in the beginning of January and would reach out to me, he hasn't. I'm hoping somehow, eventually, when this man finally bothers to, he will contact me for a job offer since he reassured me back in november that he still intends to hire me. But since I have no idea when that will be, that means I'm left hanging completely.

long story short I am mentally ill and disabled who was dismissed from my last and only job that I struggled 2 years to get, only to be fired in 2 months in June because of my chronic fatigue and abusive managers. I rely a lot on my henna but bookings are not consistent enough to make regular income, and majority of the money ends up going to contributing to house bills for my family.

My therapy picks up again this week, very honestly been the only thing keeping me from harming myself at this point with how painful life has been and I want to be able to continue getting it low cost (£25 per session), my therapist is so amazing and we recently came to the understanding that I have complex-PTSD, and plan to look into it more this year. I'm too mentally ill to try and look for jobs right now and am basically doing 3 jobs already (one being joint caring duties with family members for my grandparents since I live with them, which I'm not paid for obviously) with inconsistent money coming in/sessional work that I will be paid for once completed further into the year.

I have so many other costs that are coming in the near future, like paying for more medication, and for more lazer hair removal sessions for my severe hirsutism, which usually is around £300 if I'm lucky to catch offers. This is another I thing I mentally can't afford to stop doing, struggling with severe hirsutism and the trauma of it all my life means its important I can feel and live somewhat comfortably in my body. Lazer hair isn't permanent and I'm looking into electrolysis, but again, I don't have that money yet and would prefer to not leave a huge gap where I don't do lazer and the mental torture of watching my body hair grow back. I also haven't gotten my eyes checked in over 3 years, and know I will need a change in perscription and need new glasses. I hate nothing more than what its come to. I'm just exhausted and burnt out from the constant anxiety and depressive episodes, I'm barely eating or sleeping, I'm sick of everything and everyone and I just wish god would give me a break.

With all of the above in mind I'm aiming for about £600. This is all basically to help me just function and continue getting the things that help me not succumb to my mental health issues. If anything, my birthday's coming up in feb so I would appreciate it if folks gave some money if they have the means to. Anything is fine at this point.

Thank you so much

https://paypal.me/iffiia?country.x=GB&locale.x=en_GB

£0/£600

[sweet-as-an-angel]

MW2 Reaction to Their S/O Who Self-Harms

Warnings: Heavy Mentions of Self-Harm, Non-Explicit Mentions of Injuries, Mentions of Violence (Not Towards Reader), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Petnames, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You’.

A/N: Hey guys, just letting you know that this post is a bit heavier than my usual ones. This has been requested of me quite a few times, so here it is. I’ve tried to remain as realistic and respectful as possible while bringing you your favourite MW2 people. I’m going to link some mental health resources here for anyone who needs them, and I implore anyone suffering, regardless of whether you self-harm or not, to please, please talk to someone. Nobody deserves to live with the weight of poor mental health, so if you’re able, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone and tell them how you’re feeling ! Friends, family members, pets – anyone who you think will be able to be a good listening partner, even if they’re not a licensed therapist. And if you feel you have no-one to talk to, there are always options ! Local and national mental health services, some of which are free and don’t show up on phone bills ! A lot of the time, simply speaking about what’s hurting you is the first step to mental healing <3. Please stay safe, guys <3

Ghost

Is appalled at himself that he didn’t notice sooner.

He bundles you up into his arms, pulling you as close to him as physics will allow, and then some. His head is buried in your shoulder, his grip around you tight, but he doesn’t hurt you.

“Oh, Sweetheart– I’m so sorry,” you hear him whisper. His voice is thin and high as if the composite of helium, yet a sombre tone weights it.

“I should’ve known how you were feeling – I should’ve been here for you more–”

It doesn’t matter how much you try to console him, or how well you are able to conceal your suffering. Simon will never forgive himself for allowing you to go through this alone.

“It’s no excuse,” he says, and there’s a hitch to his voice. Something wet, warm, hits your shoulder.

Now, distraught as if he’d already lost you, Simon pulls away just so he can see your face. His eyes are glossy and red with tears, his face the mask of anguish.

He takes your head in his hands, holds it at the jaw, and, with angel tenderness, presses a kiss to your crown.

He tucks your head beneath his chin, encases you with his body again.

“I’m never gonna let anything hurt you,” he says, and you can feel his heart pounding against his chest. “Not again.”

And you know he means it.

Due to his own mental health struggles, Simon will use his own logic to try and help you.

He’s never had anyone to rely on – before you, at least – so he makes himself available to you wherever and whenever you need him.

He does everything you ask of him without question, whether that’s making you a bowl of soup or listening to whatever thoughts roll into your head.

He helps you get ready for bed and tucks you in when he can tell it’s been a taxing day, mentally or physically.

And he watches over you, as if to make sure you don’t disappear before his eyes, before going to sleep himself.

There’s nothing he loves more than to hold you, whether you’re upset or not. He just wants to feel your weight and your warmth in his arms, nuzzling you and telling you “I love you. D’you know that ? Very, very much,”

You do know. He tells you every waking moment.

And throughout it all, despite the unfortunate circumstances from which this is derived, Simon is just glad that you want to open up to him, and he’ll never deny you a request or a question, wanting to remain a source of hope and comfort to you for as long as you need him.

König

König’s many dealings with his own occupation have clued him into how severe one’s mental health issues can become. Especially when left unattended.

And, as a result, König has the propensity to become…overbearing.

Of course, he’s mortified that you’ve been suffering in silence this whole time, and while he knows he can’t change the past, or rewrite the stars to ensure this never happens again, he does everything in his power to prevent you from falling into despair.

“It’s okay, Engel,” he says, taking you into his arms and holding you close so you can hear his thundering heart. “You’re safe. You’re alright, you’re alright…”

In the beginning of your shared journey to healing, König tries to do anything and everything for you. Chores, cooking, pillow readjustment – anything he thinks would be a nuisance to you.

However, he ends up completing tasks that you actually find enjoyable, leaving nothing for you to do.

While you appreciate everything he’s doing – very much so ! – you still want some independence, even if it’s minimal. And you told him as much.

König looked like he was on the verge of tears when he apologised: “I just wanted to do what was best for you, Darling,”

You have to console him, tell him that his gallant efforts are not appreciated.

König still keeps an eye on you if he has cause to believe you may be trying to self-harm again, but he won’t smother you.

He’ll wait for you to come to him, trusting that you know yourself and him well enough to understand that there is nothing you can’t tell him.

Even if you relapse, or stumble a little, König always encourages you to get back up.

“That’s why our skin heals,” he says, holding your injured arm in his hand, cleansing you of your pain. “So we can start again.”

He loves taking you out on trips – anywhere he knows you’ll like.

He just wants to see you feel something again. Or at least see a sliver of happiness light up your face, even if just for a second.

Petting zoo, amusement park, shopping trip, spa day – you name it, it’s yours !

At the end of the day, when you’re exhausted and König is carrying you home on his back, your 6’10 military princess is just happy that he gets to spend time with you, your warmth the best he’s ever felt.

And he’ll do whatever he can to keep it. To keep you.

Soap

Initially, he’s in denial. But when he sees how tired you are, how grey your soul has become, his heart tears, and everything he’s ever felt for you comes pouring out.

He takes your hands in his, and, the feeling of tears burning his throat, he buries kisses into the back of them.

“I love you– so, so much,” he says, breathless. “You know that, don’t you ?”

The tone in his voice suggests haste, or perhaps desperation. The need for you to know that you are loved. Very, very dearly.

And when you start to cry, Johnny can’t keep his tears in any longer.

“It’s okay, my Love, it’s okay,” he tells you, voice low and soft.

He pulls you into an embrace from which you gather the impression you will never escape. Not while he’s holding on to you as if you could slip between his fingers at any minute.

“We can get through this. Together,”

His assurance is resolute as the sunrise in the morning, and you know, from the way he holds you, speaks to you, that what he’s saying is true.

“You’re okay. You’re safe now. We’ll be okay…”

Johnny makes a concerted effort to watch over you more from now on.

You still maintain your independence – that’s not an issue.

But if he can sense you’re not feeling too good, he’ll either ask if you want to talk about it or wait for you to come to him.

He trusts you to come to him when you’re ready, just as he trusts you with his heart.

He makes sure to ask what your boundaries are when it comes to talking about mental health, just to be sure that he doesn’t accidentally overstep or trigger you in any way.

The last thing he wants to do is upset you. He’d never forgive himself if he did.

And whenever you come and tell him that you’re feeling a little better today, or you found even just one, tiny thing to celebrate, like finding a cool pebble, he’s overjoyed, overcome with pride for your achievements.

Valeria

She is daughter and heir to her own demons, but none of them compare to the thought of you harming yourself or being harmed.

Her initial reaction is anger, but not towards you.

Never towards you.

She wants to eradicate whoever or whatever has driven you to feel this way.

It will take some explaining that the source of your pain isn’t necessarily easy to vanquish, and even if it is, right now, all you want is comfort.

Valeria doesn’t cry. Not in front of you.

Instead, she pulls you to her chest and cradles you while you tell her all your worries, your problems, your sorrows.

And, when she settles you into bed, she embarks on a journey to rid you of your demons.

If they are caused by something external, it’s gone by the time morning rolls around.

If your habits are a result of something within yourself, Valeria will try to remedy it as best she can.

Hours upon hours of research, tending to you whenever you need her, letting you know she’ll never let anyone or anything hurt you–

“And that’s a Valeria guarantee !”

She never breaks out her humorous side, so you know she means it.

She does have the potential to become a helicopter girlfriend, so you’ll have to speak with her and establish some boundaries if there are some things you wish to do alone.

Valeria will understand, but she does get worried when she doesn’t hear from you every hour, and she has to resist the urge to send one of her men to check on you.

At the end of the day, she trusts you and knows that you are your own person, intelligent enough to make your own choices.

All she wants is to be able to be with you, and so long as you plan on sticking around, she will work to bring you a life that can chase away the shadows in your mind.

Price

Due to Price’s fatherly nature, his immediate reaction is deep concern.

“Oh, Love,” he says, his brow creased as his discovery weighs heavy on his face. In all his years as a military professional, he’s seen many a mortifying scene. But none of them have hurt to witness as much as your suffering.

“Come and tell me about it,” he tells you, bringing you to sit beside him on the sofa. “Tell me everything, and I’ll listen.”

Whether you confide in him or not is entirely up to you; he won’t force you to divulge anything you don't want to. But he does remind you that “We’re a team, you and I. There’s nothing you can’t tell me – that we can’t tell each other.”

And he means it. Truly.

Whenever you stand by the doorway to his study, he drops everything and invites you to sit with him, on him – whatever you want to do.

And he listens to anything and everything you tell him.

Price is an incredibly intuitive, intelligent man, and whatever you tell him, even in passing fancy, you can expect to have it within an hour of you unintentionally requesting it.

Price once bundled you up in a blanket and carried you around the house, calling you “Love Bug”. Sometimes he uses it as a comforting tactic since it keeps you warm and you can be nearer to him whenever you want to be.

He calls you his “Brave little soldier” whenever he’s tending to your scrapes or cuts (intentional or otherwise), telling you how you’re the “Strongest warrior this side of the planet !”

He’s always looking for ways to make you smile.

It doesn’t matter what he has to do to achieve a result; for you, there are no boundaries to his love.

And yes, that includes making duck lips out of Pringles.

Or walrus tusks out of chopsticks.

And whenever you smile, no matter how faint, John knows that, regardless of how bleak things may seem now, everything’s going to be okay.

Horangi

Given how mental health is rarely spoken about in Horangi’s birthplace, even stigmatised, he understands how difficult it can be coming out to someone about your inner struggles.

Initially, he sighs, though not out of frustration or anger.

But rather, understanding.

He knows there’s nothing he can say to make everything alright, but he wants to try and help you in any way he can.

And the first step is thanking you for opening up to him.

“I’m just happy you felt you could talk to me about this, 내꺼.”

He does everything in his power to make your life easier: doing your laundry, keeping your toiletries organised, preparing your meals; anything that’ll put a smile on your face or just make your day more bearable.

He doesn’t want you to feel as if he’s trying to sanitise the content you watch, but if he suspects or outright knows that specific topics or content triggers you, he’ll try to steer you away from it and bring you some safer alternatives.

He knows that everyone has different contributors and triggers so he never assumes that one specific thing may be yours; instead, he asks what makes you feel good, what doesn’t, or, if you don’t want to talk about it, he’ll try and use his intuition.

He’ll never force you to give something up, though. But he’ll gently advise against it if he feels it isn’t serving you in your journey to mental healing.

He teaches you how to ground yourself in a way that’s immediate and effective, and, whatever the weather, he’ll take you outside if you ask him to – to feel the rain or the sun or the snow, or to be held by the fog that rolls in over the oceans and mountains.

And he’ll always be there to hold your hand when you want him to, to be your shoulder to hold on to when you can no longer stay standing; your driftwood in the black sea, leading you to the lighthouse on a calm shore.

Alejandro

After priding himself on being the one person in the whole world who knows you the best, he feels his world shatter.

Not because he’s been proven wrong – his ego does not come into this equation – but because he feels as if he could somehow have helped prevent whatever feeling has driven you to self-harm.

Alejandro is a strong man, both physically and emotionally. But seeing you like this, in a ceaseless sea of despair, he crumbles, falls to his knees before you as if you are God itself.

“Mi Amor…why ?” is all he can say. “What has caused you to do this ?”

When you explain to him that, sometimes, it’s not anything external at all, but entirely conjured within your own mind, your own worst enemy, he understands.

Even when he feels he has failed you, he refuses to allow you to come to any more harm, whether from yourself or someone else.

“We– we can get help for you, or– or we can just stay here, go out like we always do, go and see new things–”

Alejandro is the type to throw anything at the wall until it sticks. And by god, he is not stopping until something sticks.

He pays particularly close attention to you now. Not so much as to become a helicopter boyfriend, but enough so that you know he’s there.

He grants you your privacy, believes you are entitled to it as anyone else is, regardless of your condition.

But, if you disappear for half an hour or more, he’ll come to check on you.

He doesn’t want you feeling smothered, but he’s just so terrified of losing you that he’s not sure what to do for the best.

You may have to help him here. Let him know what you want, what you need, so he can do what is right by you.

He apologises for reacting the way he did when you initially told him. “It was…selfish, self-centred. I thought that I could just– destroy whatever was hurting you. But…now, I see that’s not how it works.”

Alejandro doesn’t rest until he knows you’re at maximum comfort and happiness (however much your mind will permit that day), and he will shield you from anything that could cause you to spiral, no matter what.

Rodolfo

For the first time, he’s dead serious. His face goes straight and thin with what you think is consideration.

And he stays that way until he breaks his own silence, his eyes softening as he looks at you.

“Mi Sol,” he says, quiet, as if keeping a secret. And then, you see it. Just a flicker. But a weight bears down on his shoulders – one which wasn’t there before. But it isn’t a burden of weight. Far from it. And you know this when Rodolfo smiles, his eyes becoming glassy.

It’s the weight of love, of his heart taking on your load, halving it.

He holds his arms out to you, pulling you to him.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says. His hold around you tightens. “I know that can’t have been easy,”

From then on, he is at your beck and call – 24/7.

Though, this isn’t a big change given how he already willingly threw himself at any request you made. But now, he uses his intuition more. Taps into verbal or physical cues that let him know you’re not feeling all that good today, and so he’ll take over the chores and tell you to go and sit down.

He makes your favourite meal every night you want it, no matter how unorthodox it is.

Cereal and a plate of sausages ? You got it. Spaghetti with dino nuggies ? It’s already on the table.

The only time Rodolfo will ask you to do anything is when he thinks it’s for your own good – like taking a quick walk with him around the block so you’re out in the sunshine for a bit. Or washing your hair when he can tell it’s getting you down.

He never makes you do anything you don’t want to, though.

Nor does he make you talk when you don’t want to.

He listens whenever you come to him of your own volition. And if he can tell something is really bothering you, he’ll press once for any kind of information. If you don’t want to tell him, he drops it. But he’d rather risk your upset and try to find a solution to whatever’s upsetting you than live to regret it later when it all becomes too much for you.

And whenever you confide in him, he can’t hide how lucky he feels to have someone as special as you; even if you don’t see it right now, Rodolfo knows you’re the most important person in the world, and he won’t stop until you’ve grown into the person you’re destined to be, no matter how long it takes.

And he’s with you every step of the way.

Graves

At first, he was overwhelmed.

Of course, he was hurt that you’d been suffering – and hid it so well, too.

“Darlin’... I’m so sorry – I should’a known or asked or– done– somethin’ !”

To rectify his self-proclaimed self-inattentiveness, he purchases the best therapist money can buy.

“So you can tell ‘em all about your feelings,”

He doesn’t realise how insensitive a gesture can be until it’s too late; it doesn’t even occur to him that you may not want a therapist, but just to speak to someone you know.

Someone like Graves.

And this is something you’ll have to teach him.

But, of course, this will also take time for him to adjust to.

“Well…I– uh…Are ya sure ?”

He cannot wrap his head around the idea that you could ever possibly want to confide in him about something so important, but he’s relieved that you do.

It takes time for him to understand that he doesn't need to have all the answers, or be a trained professional to help you feel better.

He just needs to be there.

To listen, to help whenever you ask for it (or when he can tell you want it).

He makes himself available to you as often as he can, sending others on business trips for him if he knows you’re encountering a particularly rough patch.

Your opening up to him inspires him to open up more, too.

Sometimes, late in the night, you sit together, awake, pouring your wine-darkest thoughts and patchwork memories into a never ending conversation.

Philip wants you to know that he’s always got time for you, so he joins you more frequently in your hobbies, and yours his.

Anything to simply be with you. And also to finish this cool bauble he’s started decorating.

Gaz

Gaz is young; he grew up in a generation that values mental health above all else, so he knows a thing or two about helping people.

However, he never assumes to know anything and everything about your causes, your triggers, your contributors; those he lets you tell to him.

He’s always willing to listen, no matter how early in the morning or late into the evening it is; he lends you his ear whenever you need it.

He tries to take time off work whenever he knows he can so he can be with you. Especially if you’ve encountered a rough patch and have asked him for help.

If you choose to pursue professional mental help, he’ll come with you if you want him to – hold your hand for as long as you want, speak for you if you’re finding that words are escaping you and you want his help.

There’s nothing this guy won’t do for you.

Not that there wasn’t already, but now he does it even quicker.

Brings you a healthy snack whenever he knows you need or want one.

He partakes in new hobbies with you when your usual ones just don’t cut it.

Colouring, crocheting, antique collecting, drawing, writing – he’ll gladly follow you down any path you take.

He brings you things he thinks may help you feel better, if only for a minute.

Whenever you need a change of scenery, he takes you on a “Magical mystery tour !” (bundles you into the car and drives to wherever your hearts take you).

He tries to pick locations he knows are scenic – ones which are calming and not too densely populated.

The days where you want to be around people – humanity – he brings you to the park, lays a blanket down for you and people watches with you the whole day.

At the end of the day, he won’t stop until you’re feeling better, be it by one percent or a hundred; any progress is monumental, in his eyes.

And he congratulates all your little victories with your favourite treats and days out of town – the country, even, when you’re feeling up to it.

He loves you so much, it’s unreal; he just can’t believe how lucky he is to have you in his life.

And he makes sure to let you know, whether through gestures or just telling you, every single day.

And he hopes that, even if you don’t believe it now, one day you’ll see yourself how he sees you.

The perfect human being.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

[itshype]

How I Met Your Brother (DC x DP)

Dan joins the Justice League - not as part of his rehabilitation, but as a reward for doing so well.

Tucker makes the grave mistake of mentioning Dan in front of Jazz. And as an eldest sister myself I would not be happy about an alternate version of my sibling being left completely alone in the world, no support, no family to then be turned into a psychopath. And I would be furious for them to then be imprisoned - not for life but for all time?

However, unlike me, Jazz is the world's foremost authority on ghost psychology. She has Dan out of his Thermos and in a larger enclosure within the week.

Now, a lot of fics have Jazz as a magical therapist who can say a few sentences and make any bad guy cry. Sorry, not today though.

First, they resocialise Dan like a feral cat (solitary confinement does make people get loopy), sitting outside his enclosure and hanging out, doing homework etc. This sort of gets him to figure out emotionally that he's no longer in the timeline where everyone he ever cared about died.

Danny discusses with him how many nightmares he's had over just the idea of losing his entire support network the way Dan did and he can't imagine what he's been through. But no emotions are not, in fact superior to having negative emotions.

After a few months, he decides that he does in fact want to actively try and get better. He goes to a therapist (because family members can't do therapy!!!) who's just unhinged enough to get a kick out of counselling a ghost from an alternate timeline.

There's only one relapse. Clockwork fixed it and they don't talk about it.

A month or so later they let him out of the enclosure for good. They offer to symbolically destroy it but Dan thinks they should keep it just in case.

While Dan's humanity has returned, his actual human half is gone forever. But he's interested in doing something with himself. He can't get a GED, or a degree, or be an astronaut. Maybe something in entertainment?

Tucker makes the grave mistake of mentioning that the Justice League headquarters are in space. Dan isn't as powerful anymore now he's no longer a halfa, but he knows he's handy in a fight. He loves space and due to having them repeatedly and ineffectively implemented against himself - a deep knowledge of international war tactics.

NGL, this isn't where I thought this story was going. But Dan is now an international politics, war policy and foreign affairs expert, I guess.

He helps a fair bit on the team, but his key contributions are his encyclopaedic predictions of how different international communities will react to events. If an out of control meta in Paris takes down the Eiffel Tower, he predicts which countries will immediately 'crack down' on their superpowered citizens - that sort of thing. It's invaluable for their PR team and young meta safety.

He's a friendly guy, doesn't judge anyone for losing control of their powers or going 'too far' on a villain who hurt their friends and family. And he never shuts up about his kid brother who is apparently also his best friend. He briefly mentions a baby sister he's never met and that makes everyone pretty sad.

He doesn't consider this Jazz his sister. He's already had a sister named Jazz and isn't looking for a 1:1 replacement. This Jazz is more like a mum-friend. However, he never had a Danny or an Ellie in his last life.

"My little brother told me about the trick to this level in Doomed 17, want me to explain what you're missing?"

"Sorry, I really can't possess you, even for 'anti mind-control' training. That isn't how overshadowing works, you can't become immune without exposure to ectoplasm in dangerous doses. No, I can't get you some pure ecto, my baby brother would kick my ass to hell."

"Yeah, my baby bro and I both wanted to be astronauts, I died so it's not in the cards for me anymore, but he has a real shot still, we're all rooting for him!"

Most Justice League members think he's a dead eldest brother with living siblings he's still in close contact with.

It's all fun and games until he tries to take a bullet for Batman during an ambush and it's actually an amnesia ray designed to make Batman forget about a specific case until the bad guy can complete his plan.

"I killed you all before, and I will do it again."

[ms-demeanor]

hello! sorry to bother w this but im sort of desperate at this point. given your post about school abuse: so like. i had a similar experience and i thought that i had sorted my brain out. BUT. big but. now im trans and every time i have to correct people w/ misgender or come out to people that i dont already know their opinion on the issue, i get an anxiety attack that makes me unable to do it. ive told many therapists and no one so far has understood why im terrified of making stuff that other people can perceive as me being difficult to work with. would you have *any* advice? thanks!

Okay so first of all it is totally valid to feel that way; that isn't an irrational response, that is your body and brain going "!!!! I have learned this lesson before!" But just because it's a sensible response doesn't mean it's functional in the long term, which is why it needs to be addressed (which I'm sure you already know, I'm just explaining for people in the back).

So now here is some meandering advice:

Spend time with people you already know you can trust. It's okay to take a break from new people and situations (as much as is possible) when you are processing traumatic events and learning to care for yourself. Spending time with people who you don't have to come out to, who don't misgender you, can help you normalize being out and correctly gendered to yourself.

Recognize that you don't have to be out to everyone and some assholes aren't worth it. This is going to depend some on the context, but you don't owe everybody an explanation for yourself and if people repeatedly misgender you after being corrected you may just be better off not spending time around those people.

Loop in trusted people in low-stakes ways. If you get the sense that someone who you think is pretty safe has misgendered you on accident, it might still feel too intimidating to correct them in person but it might be a good idea to follow up with text or a call or a message to say "hey, just FYI, I think I heard you use a/b pronouns for me earlier, I just wanted to let you know that I use c/d pronouns. Did you want to meet up again next week?" the breakdown on why I think this is effective is - Distance means you're safe - nonthreatening "FYI" means you aren't saying "I'm offended" and assumes good faith from the other person - feels less accusatory (not that you need to tone police yourself, but if you're trying to lower the stress level overall then assuming it was a mistake and letting them know you don't think it was on purpose should reduce the overall tension) - request to meet up again or topic switch to something lighter once again says "I'm not mad, that was just regular information, we can now return to our scheduled programming"

I think that, generally speaking, this is also a decent way to come out to people if you're nervous; physically remote and emotionally casual can be a good place to work from (even if you're actually panicking in your head but you can pull off casual in a written message)

Find (or create) a space where people are 100% going to support you. If you need to create a discord server, if you need to schedule a regular coffee date with trusted friends or family members, whatever it is, give yourself a space where you are unconditionally supported and can have people to bounce ideas and concerns off of. Even if it's just you and one other person, it's good to know you have *someone* who you can say "I think I want to tell this other person to use my pronouns but it's scary" to and know that you're not at risk in any way. I'd say try to make sure that you're still interacting with people outside of that space, but have a space to retreat to where you can just drop the worry.

Recognize that somebody else's problem is not a reflection of you. If you have, for instance, a coworker who is being a piece of shit and refusing to recognize your gender, that is not a reflection of your gender that is a reflection of them being a piece of shit. If there is a classmate or a sibling who uses the wrong pronouns after being corrected that doesn't mean you're not entitled to your pronouns that means they are being a piece of shit. Some people are just not going to accept you and that's on them. Try to minimize your time spent with them and if you have to spend time with them at work take steps to ensure your safety, but don't fight losing battles with assholes.

It really is legitimately scary. You have good reasons to be scared and you are doing a very frightening thing (and not to do the meme thing but you are legitimately being so brave about it; the fact that you are reaching out and asking anyone for help, including randos on the internet, means that you are taking steps to doing the scary thing and that is SO GOOD and I'm really proud of you for making the effort in spite of the fear).

Here is some less meandering advice:

Practice. Talk to yourself in the mirror, practice with friends, practice with your therapist. Practice coming out to yourself in a casual way. Practice correcting your pronouns. Practice an introduction for yourself that explains the information you want to give to new people you might meet. Get it down to a quick little patter, get it to be something that's easy to say to yourself in the mirror first, then try it with friends for practice, then try it around the safer people you might want to give the information to. It'll get easier as you go.

Look for a local support group (or an online support group). If there's a local LGBTQ+ center you should see if they've got events going on or a support group you can join or workshops or any manner of social thing where you can go interact with people who have been through similar stuff.

Journal. Each time you find yourself frightened of talking to someone about your gender, do what you need to to get through the day and then sit down and think about that interaction. Write down what happened, write down what you were thinking. Was there something in particular that made you anxious? Is it something you can practice addressing? Was there something you noticed about the person that made you uncomfortable? Is that a common thread in the times you have trouble talking about this? If you're able to narrow down specifically what is making it hard to speak to some people that might make it easier to explain to therapists but will also make it more actionable for you.

Here's some very optimistic advice:

If at all possible find a friend who will be rabid and unflinching in their support for you and hang out with them around new people. Get yourself an attack dog copilot who will cheerfully step up and make corrections for you. I know not everyone can do this and I know that if you can find someone like this they can't be around all the time, but it can be wonderfully reassuring to find that one person who you know is going to be ride or die about making sure that everyone in the room respects you. (Being that person for someone else can also teach you how to be that person for you)

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

CW: Rape, incest, CSA

This is actually not a strictly A Song of Ice and Fire post here, but it overlaps in some ways so I figured I'd write this.

Anyone who has not read the web serials Worm or Ward and wishes to avoid spoilers, don't read this post:

Disclaimer out of the way, I've found striking parallels between fandom reaction for both A Song of Ice and Fire and Parahumans regarding how characters who survived sexual abuse view their abusers, in a dangerously disturbing way.

For this I'm going to specifically be using the examples of Aeron and Theon Greyjoy from A Song of Ice and Fire to compare and contrast to Victoria Dallon in Ward. All three were psychologically and sexually tormented by their abusers during the course of the series. Theon is a young adult by the time Ramsay gets his hands on him, but Aeron and Victoria were both children when they were molested by family members so they will be the main two characters to compare.

In the case of Euron and Aeron, there are a (sadly very vocal) minority who are ready to dismiss Euron's danger to others by specifically using Aeron's abuse against him. Sure, Euron is evil and horrifically abused him and Urrigon when they were children, and it is understandable that Aeron would be mortified of Euron. After all, he tries to warn people about Euron repeatedly, only for his attempts to stop him to all fail.

The response by this section of the fandom to claims of Euron being built up as a major threat are essentially that Aeron's trauma is in the way of his ability to perceive Euron objectively. Is Euron actually as dangerous as Aeron claims? You can say the same for Theon and Ramsay. After all, Theon is half-mad warning Stannis about Ramsay, and Stannis is bringing some Rational Realness to the forefront by saying "what do I have to fear him for?"

Since GRRM is never releasing another A Song of Ice and Fire book it's hard to say what he intends but he could definitely intend for this to be the case. That said, there is a story featuring a similar character that is completed. Ward!

Victoria Dallon's sister, Amy, is a cape with healing abilities, though as the series progresses we know that healing is just the tip of the iceberg; she can change the biological makeup of living things. Amy is adopted, and has never felt any love from anyone other than Victoria. Amy develops deep romantic love for her sister, however, and then begins a series of bad decisions that just serve to deepen her already deep mental breakdown.

Amy proceeds to; alter Victoria's brain chemistry to give her compulsive romantic thoughts about her, then following healing Victoria after a battle, she spends several days alone with her, during which she repeatedly rapes her, erases her memories of said rapes, until her mental health deteriorates even further and she is unable to use her power properly and turns Victoria into the Wretch: a mass of flesh and limbs and heads, rather than anything actually human.

Then Victoria spends 2 years in a mental institution, stuck in a body she hates, all the while fighting the compulsions Amy left in place. When she finally returns Victoria to normal at the end of Worm, it is actually against her will and not because she had a change of heart or got more confident.

Then we get to Ward, where Victoria is the main POV. As is very obvious, Victoria is struggling with extremely intense PTSD, mentioning Amy is enough to trigger a dissociative flashback, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with her anymore: and fucking rightfully so.

Victoria also warns people about Amy. She warns her therapist to try to reach out to Amy before she hurts someone else, she warns literally anyone who will listen about Amy and what she might end up doing. We may not know what it is that Ramsay and Euron end up doing, but we do know what Amy does.

She refuses all help and doubles down on bad decisions, enslaves people with her powers, later imprisons and torments and touches Victoria again against her will, and becomes the dictatorial monster in charge of an entire planet. Victoria's warnings prove to be extremely prophetic and extremely real.

Now lets get into some discourse shall we?

Despite Amy being a rapist who rapes her sister, enslaves others via mind control, and literally never once improving as a person or acknowledging that her actions even caused harm, there are still those who think Amy isn't at fault. Some might find this post, but I don't really care. Amy is at fault for things Amy did. Victoria is not at fault for hugging her sister like a normal human being when Amy is upset, Amy didn't do her a favour healing her because then she just raped her and then really couldn't fix her back to a human body, and Amy isn't absolved of these sins because she healed a lot of people.

Essentially, Victoria is sometimes blamed for being raped by her sister, the rapist, despite Amy canonically being a manipulative lying liar rapist.

Okay so that doesn't seem to related to what the fandom says with Euron and Ramsay, right? After all, we don't really blame Aeron for being molested and Theon for also being sexually tortured and abused by Ramsay, do we? There are factors as to why that is (mostly that Aeron and Theon are men and Victoria is a woman; if you don't buy this argument look at people who say Cersei deserved to be sexually assaulted by Robert or try to use "the times" as an excuse to overlook Daenerys also being raped by Drogo) but there is an overlap here.

Amy being able to get away with that she did only to go on and hurt so many other people is a meta-commentary on the way survivors of sexual abuse are disbelieved or blamed for what happened to them. Naturally, those real like abusers end up going to abuse other people too. Fuck, even in the fandom, Victoria is still fucking blamed for things that she had absolutely no choice in the matter.

Which leads back to Theon and Aeron. Yes, trauma impacts the way you remember traumatic events, and that means objectivity can get lost at times. It can for Victoria and Theon and Aeron. But that trauma, the dissociation, memory problems, all of these together, are there for a reason. And that's because someone came along, ruined another persons life for their own pleasure and satisfaction, and then got away with it.

Victoria warned the world about what Amy would do, and she was unfortunately correct. Theon and Aeron warned others about Ramsay and Euron. Survivors should be believed, and not be dismissed. After all, it isn't our fault that we got abused. People may hear things about Euron or Amy or Ramsay, but the people who truly know who they are---what they are capable of, what they are actually like---are the people they abused.

So yeah, it's kinda fucking lame when I hear someone go "Stannis gonna prove Theon wrong with facts and logic" as if he doesn't, I don't know, have insight into Ramsay's psychology in ways Stannis doesn't. Same with Euron. Same with Amy.

Also fucking read Ward it hurts as intensely as it kicks ass.

[a-998h]

I wonder how the Battle Tendency crew would react to a friendly Himbo! Pillar Man! male reader who was the only survivor and last of his kind? No one, not even reader, knows how he survived. But, he somehow did. He's usually happy all the time and sometimes jokes about his trauma but he can get serious if needed. He wants revenge against Kars for killing his family.

Reader after telling his tragic backstory: Isn't that crazy? 😄

Caesar, straight up flabbergasted and mortified: Wha- I- How the hell are you even alive?

Reader: I have no idea! 😃

Lisa Lisa: Have you heard of someone called Kars?

Reader: Kars? *face goes dark while he poses dramatically in true Pillar Man fashion* I have not heard that cursed name in years.....

I love this idea. Himbo reader is best reader.

Joseph and Speedwagon were still trying to cope with everything that just happened, beating Sanvento, the pillar men's connection to the stone masks, and the death of Von Stroheim. They returned to New York and reunited with Erina, before heading to Italy.

He befriends Ceaser, meets his mentor Lisa Lisa, and begins hamon training. Things are going great, but of course life has to throw a massive wrench in the way in the form of a another pillar man.

Your stony body was quite the shock for Suzi Q to find, she ran and reported it to Lisa Lisa. You were stared at, everyone worried. If you awakened, you could kill them all. But, something compelled them to drag you to a shaded area where you awakened. They were on guard, but you didn't attack, instead you freaked out and raised your hands in surrender.

"I come in peace humans!" You exclaim.

They don't believe you, they think you're going to attack the second they turn their backs. Lisa Lisa activities her hamon, and you smile?

"Wait, members of the hamon yribe survived?!" You ask in shock, not angry but happy, like an excited puppy.

The group looks confused and have you explain yourself.

Caesar, straight up flabbergasted and mortified: Wha- I- How the hell are you even alive?

Reader: I have no idea!

Lisa Lisa: Have you heard of someone called Kars?

Reader: Kars? *face goes dark while he poses dramatically in true Pillar Man fashion* I have not heard that cursed name in years.....

They ask you to explain.

" Kars attacked, me and my people, we fought against him. I ended up being stabbed after he slaughtered them, I had attacked with more vigor but I still got injured. I remained entombed for centuries until I met you all, Isn't that crazy?" You explained.

"Final question, are you with us, or against us?" Joseph asks.

"With you all the way, friends!" You declare.

Lisa Lisa

Pleasantly surprised by you friendly demeanor

Glad you're not planning to kill them

She feels kind of bad for you

You both bond over losing loved ones

When she sees you act dumb... she is so confused

You are an ancient powerful being that could kill them all, but you stand out in the rain not moving

She doesn't know who's more ditzy, you or Suzi Q

She finds some of you antics funny

Catches you traning at night, is proud of you for trying to get better

Has a list of things you can do and touch in her house... it's a small list

Doesn't laugh at you or mocks you

Thinks your heart makes up for you lack of brain power

Tries to act as a therapist for you and your trauma

Is kind of like a mom to you

Lisa Lisa: Reader when did you eat today?

Reader: *bright smile* Last week!

Lisa Lisa: *facepalms* Dear, let's get you breakfast.

Reader: ok 😁

^ these kind of interactions are daily

She ruffles your hair and laughs with you

She gets a little nervous when you start ripping into Kars

Wonders where the soft kind Pillar Man she loves went

Teaches you how to act in the world

Joseph Joestar

You're his new best friend

You two are a Josuke and Okuyasu type duo

He enjoys your friendliness

Thankful you were not planning to kill them

Is a little worried about you

When you joke about your trauma... he doesn't laugh

Wants to help you

Asks you about your family to make you feel better

Is willing to spar with you in the middle of the night... sometimes

Teaches you how to adapt to the modern world

Teaches you a few things he knows

Feels bad that you lost everything to Kars

Whenever you do something dumb, he questions how you survived centuries

Calls you "Love" and "Handsome" but you don't understand the flirting

Is annoyed with how dense you are

"You're as dense as the rock you were trapped in!" Becomes a common phrase he uses with you

You two are peas in a pod

Ceaser Zeppeli

He doesn't trust you

You're something that could kill them all, so he doesn't trust you at all

It's only after he sees how dumb you that he starts to let his guard down, only a little

Your "coping skills" makes him a bit worried

Tries to keep his distance but your friendly nature draws him in

Once he trusts you, he tries to be the older brother to you

Also teaches you things about the world

Is horrified by your story, and the way you joke about it

It takes him a bit to realize your jokes are your "coping skills"

He is proud of your warrior spirit

Wishes he could spar without one of you getting hurt

"Sei un idiota!" This something he commonly says to you whenever you've done something dumb

He calls you "second Joseph"

Tries to help you cope in a proper way

Is now a friend of yours

Feels your hate for Kars and wants to help you get revenge

[fayeforrosie]

Karaoke Nights

Yunjin x Fem! Reader

Already stressed from all of the busy work Yunjin was required to do for her album promotion, she seeks an escape at a Karaoke bar she habitually visits, not expecting to find the possible love of her life

Warnings- Cannabis usage, swearing, sexual content, mention of alcohol

Word Count- 3.4k

Yunjin’s eyes began to lower as her face contorted into a lazy smile, hair spread messily on the floor as she stared up at the spotted ceiling above, almost convinced that it had been spinning nearly two seconds ago.

The idol brought her blunt back up to her parted lips, inwardly inhaling as she closed her eyes and subsequently sighed out the smoke, where she no later felt the ease of the cannabis flow towards her head.

It was a busy day for Yunijn, to say the least, and it was an evident need for Yunjin to come home to a newly rolled blunt sitting beside her ashtray. During promotions, it was always hectic, and Yunjin knew she could never get herself through such a busy schedule without smoking at least three times a week.

She initially quit just before she debuted, seeing it as a distraction and could possibly ruin her chances at fulfilling her idealistic dreams. Nevertheless, maybe a distraction is just what she needed, so just when the promotions began for their first mini-album, Yunjin picked up her habits once again.

Her members knew about her imperfect ways of coping with her stress levels, and did their best to handle her situation to the best of their ability, whether it be spending their time with her in her dorm as a way of keeping her mind off of things such as weed and alcohol (but mostly weed). Kazuha even offered to get Yunjin special help from one of her family members, claiming they were an addiction therapist and helped immensely with drug users in the past.

“It’s not an addiction, it’s just a divertissement”, Yunjin would claim, half attempting to convince her member and half trying to convince herself.

Maybe it was a dependency, but Yunin couldn’t care less. As long as it wasn’t effecting her work during the day, she could get as high as she liked at night.

And that is what she was, as high as she liked herself to be.

“I’m going out”, Yunjin claimed as she stood up, not realizing that there was nobody surrounding her in the room, and she had just formally spoken to herself. The idol laughed out loud for her mistake before she slides her shirt on, that had previously occupied the floor, and makes her way to the living room, noticing her leader playing an intense game of monopoly with the youngest of the group.

“Hi”, Yunjin smiles widely, eyes crescent as she patted her leader on the head.

“Oh hello Ms. Huh, I smell a little something on you”, Chaewon smiles after she sniffs her members hand, smacking it away after doing so.

“I wonder what it is”, Yunjin smirks.

“Why don’t you go take a shower and clean yourself up”, Chaewon suggests as she rolls the two dice ahead of her onto the board, pumping her first in the air when she came to realize she had rolled doubles.

“Actually, I was going to go out”, Yunjin claims, already walking towards the front entry door.

“Um, to where? Dressed like that?”

“Can I come with?” Eunchae exhorts cheerfully.

“Just to walk around the city, and no you can not come, my little cutie”, Yunjin imitates a frowny face before throwing her car keys up in the air and reaching to grab them, however failing to do so as it comes crashing onto the hardwood floor.

“Whoops”, Yunjin laughs at her antics and picks them up, “tried to be cool there.”

Chaewon huffs air out of her nostrils, shaking her head and laughing at how stupid her member looked at the moment. Her eyes half open and her outfit seeming more for a club than a casual stroll through the city.

Yunjin already knew where she was going. She had the familiar directions set in her mind as she drove down the shaded road, adjacent to a local bar she frequented.

As Yunjin parked her car towards the back of the building, so no cameras could secretly take shots of where she’s been, she began to make her entrance through the back door.

“Yunjin, what’s up?” The owner happily greeted her at the sight of the idol, holding his hand out naturally for a fist bump.

“How’s it going Diego?" Yunjin spoke to the man, kindly returning his fist bump.

The idol took in the sight of the karaoke bar, neon lights illuminating the interior, decorations accompanying the graffitied walls, and the many booths aligned symmetrically, where she could faintly hear the sounds of voices inside the rooms.

Yunjin would often come here when dealing with her stress levels reaching to the point of anxiety. She found this place to be an escape, where the owner allowed her the same private booth each time, leaving the girl alone, free of charge, as she would keep herself entertained in the room with the sounds of her obnoxious singing and the horrific stench of her half-finished blunt.

“It is open?” Yunjin questions, silently imploring that nobody had selfishly taken the only thing that could keep her alive.

“You know it”, Diego smirks, leading the way to the booth just down the hall, searching his pockets for the keys before he later opens the wooden door for the girl.

“You’re the best, I love you”, Yunjin offers one more fist bump before Diego shuts the door and leaves the woman at her peace.

Admiring the sight of the familiar room, Yunjin sighs in relief to herself for finally arriving at her peace. She hadn’t came to this place in some time, probably about a month already, as she was too busy with her promotions for her groups newly released album, and found no time in her schedule to fit her own activities in.

Yunjin finds herself seated on the singular couch, hands reaching out as she skillfully rolled a new blunt for herself, not that she needed it at the moment given how high she already was, but depending on how long she stays at the place, she may need a backup.

“Perfect”, Yunjin smiles, where she later grabs the remote to the TV ahead of her and scrolls through the potential songs she could sing. She clicks her tongue with each lyric video she passes over, already haven done them during her previous visits, and throws her head back when she realizes that she’s too high to even come up with a song to sing, and all the songs appearing on the home screen she’s sang already.

Just when Yunjin is about to attempt to regain her focus on the music she wants to sing, trying desperately to reach her sober self so she could experience some fun for the night, her head raises at the sound of the wooden door to the booth opening. Just before she could yell at the person to get out, not wanting any fans, or random customers, to ruin her only time to herself, she catches a glimpse of the most alluring girl entering the room, where she noticed the girls eyes catch Yunjin's before she retraces her steps, backing up and muttering an apology, saying something along the lines of not knowing the booth was occupied.

Although Yunjin thought she would want any person to back off and leave her to be by herself, she didn’t want such a pretty girl (or maybe she was only average, and Yunjin was just high and horny) to slip through her fingers that quickly.  

“Hey wait!” Yunjin announces, not giving her mind enough time to think through what she wanted to say.

She sees you turn around, hand still on the doorknob, and a hopeful look adorning your expression.

“Do you want to stay?” Yunjin questions, and if someone was to guess whether she was sober or high based on that sentence, they would unquestionably guess that she hadn’t touched a single ounce of cannabis in her life.

“Oh um”, you turn to look outside, seeing if the idol was really talking to you.

You knew who the girl was. You had seen her all over posters throughout your city, noticing her groups songs playing endlessly at specific places you would stop by at, whether it be a coffee shop, a thrift store, or whatever place you would occupy yourself with.

Huh Yunjin was insanely famous, especially where you are, and anyone could pick out the idols features in a room full of people. You had always been a fan of the groups music, having a few of their songs added to your playlist, but you didn’t know much about the members, or what their personalities were like.

Certainly, you had not expected one of the members to be alone inside the booth you had been recently going to, an escape for you to get your mind off of things such as uni or work.

“Are you ok with that?” You ask gently, not wanting to push any boundaries.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t”, Yunjin states, and she knew she would have been much nicer, and a lot less rude, if she weren’t intoxicated at the moment. Unfortunately, her words flew off of her tongue before she could give herself the chance to determine if it was something alright to say.

“Oh”, you looked around once again, “sure.”

“Ok”, Yunjin smiles and pats the seat beside her, “I was trying to think of something to sing but I couldn’t, have anything in mind?”

You waltz your way over to the couch, comfortably taking the open spot next to the idol, immediately sensing the smell of weed infiltrate your nose, and you found yourself less surprised than you should have been, deeming it inevitable for an idol that endures so much pressure to naturally resort to drugs as a coping mechanism.

Yunjin noticed when the smell of weed came to you, and she picked up the blunt and brought it to you, offering you a hit wordlessly.

“Oh”, you waved your hands before her, “I don’t usually smoke.”

Yunjin keeps the blunt in front of you, as if she was refusing your decline.

“You don’t usually?” She asks.

You nod your head, furrowing your eyebrows at what she was trying to get at.

“So does that means you have before, if you don’t usually do it?”

She keeps the blunt in her grasp, ready for when you change your mind. Yunjin wanted you to be high with her. You were so ethereal, that being this high in front of you was utterly embarrassing to the idol, so if you were to smoke a little yourself, you would at least be in the same state as her.

“I guess yeah, I just don’t do it too often. Only at like parties or with friends. Or maybe for a special occasion”

Yunjin scoots closer to you, her leg now brushing against yours.

“Well, you’re with me... so you can say it’s a special occasion”, Yunjin holds the blunt now closer to you, hoping you give in and eventually take it for yourself.

“Why is that so special?” You question, possibly flirting if you were to look at it in such a way.

“Is it not special to be in a private room with the Huh Yunjin?”

Yunjin wants to crack you. She wants you to give in to her charm, fall to your knees and do anything she wants. If she were sober, she knows damn well she would have already flirted her way into pinning you up against the wall, hand half way up your thigh while the other was attached to your neck. But, being in this state, Yunjin needs to choose her words wisely, cautiously get you to the point of desperation.  

“Why don’t you show me why it’s so special?” You lean closer, face inches apart from hers. You could tell she was as high as a kite, her eyes barely open as she glares at you with such desire. You could tell she was into you already, being the only reason behind your confidence. Or you possibly were overthinking it, and maybe she was just a natural flirter when she was on some sort of drug. Technically, you didn’t know if she was into you, but you chose to play the hand you were delt.

Yunjin, seeing how close your face was, takes it as a sign to do what she is about to do, and she leans in closer to you, her lips now inches away from yours, and just before she can connect them, you instantly pull away with a smirk, turning your attention to the tv.

“I know what song to do”, you state proudly, noticing in the corner of your eye Yunjin’s hand running through her hair in frustration and shame.

You stand up, typing in “Hypnosis”, a newly released song by Ive, and as you hit play, Yunjin tugs you back down onto the couch smoothly.

“At least take a hit first”, Yunjin brings the blunt up to her face, sealing the end with her lips, inhaling the smoke, and before you could protest, Yunjin grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you in. You know what she is trying to do, and in all honesty, it aroused you, so you open your lips slightly and allow her to blow the smoke into your mouth, her top lip just barely grazing yours.

You felt a rush of excitement flow throughout your body, a response to not only the weed, but the proximity in which you were in with the idol. Her hand doesn’t leave the back of your neck, and as you release the smoke to float lifelessly in the air, your eyes open and connect with Yunjin’s.

“Another”, you state, and Yunjin wastes no time in bringing the blunt to her lips once again, this time taking an even longer hit than before.

You close your eyes and take in the smoke, the same elation from before redeeming itself once again. Your eyes begin to get heavy, settling to the same height as Yunjin’s, and you smile when the euphoria of the high knocks into your senses.

“Another.”

Yunjin does it once again, her hand never leaving the back of your neck, and after all the hits you’ve taken, the lust floating in the air finally catches onto you, and you feel yourself becoming desperate for the girl in front of you.

Yunjin can confidently say she has been desperate this entire time, throbbing as she blew the smoke into your lips and practically drooling in anticipation each time you made eye contact with you.

You were probably the prettiest, hottest, and sexiest girl she had ever seen, without a doubt, and even the weed can’t fog her mind into thinking so.

As Yunjin stares into your eyes, your expression matching hers, she feels as if she can’t hold it anymore, like she’s going to burst if she doesn’t have you at this exact moment.

The blunt is long forgotten on the table, knowingly being placed there, unbeknownst to you. However, you later find out the blunt is no longer in Yunjin’s hand when she brings her right hand up to your chin, her fingers holding the bottom while her thumb hovers over your lips.

You open your mouth slightly, seeing how close her thumb is, and Yunjin slowly brings her finger past your lips and into your mouth. You clasp your lips around her thumb, not breaking eye contact with the idol, and nor did she, staring into your eyes with evident and pure lust.

“Your the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen”, Yunjin mutters seductively.

“How sexy Yunjin?” You smirk after her thumb is released from your lips, now placed upon your cheek. You can guarantee yourself that if it wasn’t for the weed you had previously taken, you would have most definitely been on the ground by now, deceased by how flustered the woman made you.

Yunjin rubs the back of your neck with her other hand, “You want to know?”

“Tell me”, you respond, your attention now placed on Yunjin’s lips, as was hers.

“You’re so sexy, that all I’ve been able to think about the whole time you've been here, was how bad I need to be between your legs.”

If you weren’t already an aroused mess, that comment completely guaranteed how bad you needed this woman. How bad you wanted to taste her lips, and hear her speak to you so sexily while she was under you.

“All I can think about right now is how much I want to taste your lips”, you respond, and that’s what ignites Yunjin.

The idol leans in towards your lips, slowly connecting them to hers, smirking as she hears you moan into the kiss, anticipating for it to happen already. You grab onto her waist, opening your mouth to give her more access before she skillfully slips her tongue past your lips. You do the same, tongue brushing against hers as your hands roam her revealed waist.

Yunjin pulls you onto her lap, allowing you to straddle her while she brings one hand on your waist, guiding you to begin grinding on her. You do just that, allowing another moan to flow easily off your tongue when her lips detach from yours and move to your neck, Yunjin’s tongue running up and down your newly formed hickeys.

The music in the background has already shuffled to a few new songs, and you notice the one that began playing was Yunjin’s very own song, “Unforgiven”.

You giggle when you realize what was playing, and Yunjin breaks away from your neck to see what you were laughing at, instantly noticing the background music.

“You know this song?” You ask sarcastically, and Yunjin pecks your lips before saying she might know a little of it.

You laugh seeing Yunjin’s hurt expression when you climb off of her lap, looking as if she were a boy who’s balls had just been left blue. You reach across the table ahead of you and grab one of the microphones, putting it up to your swollen lips before you begin to obnoxiously sing along with the vocals originating from the tv.

“If you sing this song with me I’ll let you take me home”, you state with a sly wink, already walking over to her to hand her the disregarded microphone.

Yunjin roles her eyes, smiling shyly at how cute you were before she takes the microphone out of your hand, walking towards your figure, wrapping one arm around you as she sings her part of the song.

The two of you continue to sing the rest of the song, and a few more that follow along after it, and Yunjin had so much fun she almost forgot the time, and the gift of being able to take you home.

“Shit”, Yunjin states, and she releases herself from your hold before rushing over to her phone, hoping the time wouldn’t completely blow her away.

“Fuck Chaewon’s going to kill me!” Yunjin shouts, setting aside the sweaty microphone and swiftly throwing her jacket on.

“We have to go”, Yunjin states in a hurry, and your heart rather flutters at the thought of her truly taking you to her place, giving you the time of your life.

You grab your things from the couch with Yunjin still tugging on your hand, and the two of you erupt into a fit of laughter as you rush out of the building, hands still intertwining while you make your way into the car.

“My lady”, Yunjin jokes, holding the car door open for you with her arm extending out in one swift motion.

You giggle at her silly manner, leaning towards her and pecking the idols lips before you take your seat in her car.

While Yunjin feels the rush of heat rise to her cheeks, she shakes her head at the thought of how lucky she was to find a girl like you at such an unexpected time.  

And the two of you still have the whole night ahead of you.

~

DO NOT DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE!!

Decided to take a break from the Karina series and write something for my girl Jen. I'm literally in love with her like it's not funny she's my girlfriend everyone else is delusional

[veren-cos]

Babe, Look at me!

Shane x gn!farmer Self Harm comfort

An extended version of the plot in my bullet point self harm comfort

TW! Mentions of current and past self harm. Kinda graphic but nothing too specific. If you are struggling with self harm or suicidal ideation, please reach out to someone. Weather that is a friend, family member, doctor, therapist, etc. I promise things get better. There are many helplines and free resources that are just a google away!

Oh fuck. Oh fuck Oh fuck oh fuckohfuck. Why did you do it?! Again! Again and again and again and again. It never seemed to stop. Every single time you thought it was the last, it just kept happening.

You woke up early, as per usual. But something just wasn't right. A feeling that wouldn't go away. Eating you from under your skin, consuming every thought and emotion until you did something to get it out.

So you rushed back inside. Panicking. Think dear yoba why in earth do you do this to yourself? Why can you never stay away. But then you find yourself in the bathroom. New cuts and scratches wherever you had access. And then,

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Shane came in. Shane had seen everything. He saw what a mess you were. He saw. He saw he saw he saw he saw. You dropped what was in your hands. "Shane!"

Fuck, tears were building up. "Shane oh my god I'm so sorry."

You felt your knees getting wobbly. "I'm sorry"

They gave out. You were on the floor of your bathroom, absolutely sobbing, bleeding and blubbering out apologies to your boyfriend who just walked in.

"I'm so sorry Shane. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

---------------------------------------------

There's blood. They are bleeding?!! And they are on the floor. Oh my yoba they are on the floor crying. This is my fucking fault. Oh no.. Oh no nono I yelled at them. I yelled at them? What the fuck was I thinking! Why the fuck am I still just thinking they fucking need help!

I can't help them? What the fuck can I do? I can barely help myself!

..but they need me..

---------------------------------------------

You were still on the tile. Nothing was going right. Why the fuck did you do it. Hurting yourself doesn't solve anything. It doesn't help. It doesn't help! Why cant you stop. Please just let it stop.

You felt arms wrapping around you. God you forgot he was even there.

"It's okay." Shane squeezed you tighter. "It's okay. Babe I'm here for you. You're okay. You'll be okay. We are going to get you through this, alright? You've helped me up until now it's my fucking turn." He tried to sooth your panic, but you were spiraling.

How could you put this on him? You never meant for him to find out! You never meant for this to happen again! And now he knows, and -"Babe."- he is talking to you and -"hello?"- you can't hear him but you know he is speaking and-

He is suddenly in front of you, grabbing you by the shoulders. "Babe! Look at me!" You finally saw him. You could hear him. "Breath." He took a big breath in. Then let it out. "Come on, you have to breath. You need to calm down."

He guided you through a few breaths, but it was still taking so long. You kept trying to calm yourself down. Too unaware to notice that Shane had grabbed a wet towel and started cleaning the cuts. When you finally were grounded enough to notice, he had already wrapped the wounds.

"Shane.." You looked up at him. It was the first time you had really seen his face this whole time. He looked.... broken. You broke him. You broke the love of your life. It was all your fault.

He must have seen you start spacing out again, because he pulled you up off the floor, and into another hug.

"Baby.. you have to talk to me. I can't wake up seeing you having hurt yourself in the bathroom. You can't be hurting yourself. This isn't healthy. You need help. More help than I can give. But I can help you get the help you need. And I can listen. So talk to me. Please."

He looked like he was about to cry. But the wall already came crashing down, you might as well smash the rest of the pieces.

"Shane.. I'm so sorry." He gave you a look. "No. Okay. I'm sorry. Shit! I don't even know where to start. There hasn't even been anything to be upset with! Things have been going well! I have my farm. I have my friends. I have you!! But somehow things just.. they got overwhelming.

"They got overwhelming to the point I just broke. I fell into old habits. Ones I didn't think would come back. I just couldn't do it. Nothing feels right. I am happy! But then I feel guilty about being happy. And then I feel sad that I'm feeling guilty about being happy. And then I'm sad that I'm sad about being guilty that I'm happy? And then I'm spiraling into a series of emotions that make no sense and it's just too much. Everything is just too much!"

You took a shakey breath, continuing, "So now I'm here. And you're here too. You were never supposed to be here! I never wanted you to see this. You were never supposed to see this part of me. I'm supposed to be put together. And okay. And helpful. And perfect. But I'm not."

He hugged you tighter, then pulled back and looked you straight in the eyes. "You aren't perfect. You aren't put together. And yes, you're helpful, but sometimes you make a mess out of things! You fail. You're messy. You'll fail again, and make even more messes!"

It sounded like he was stringing together insults for you! What the fuck was Shane thinking? But then he continued..

"And that is okay." He made sure you were looking at him for that. "It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to not be put together, to be a mess. You don't have to help anyone. It's okay it fail. You have all this pressure on yourself, and you don't need it. I fail all the time, and I'm a mess! I don't help anyone besides myself, and I am far from perfect. Hey. Maybe that's why we're perfect for each other?" You let out a scoff of a laugh and shoved his arm.

"Too soon? Okay." He chuckled and went on. "I don't know what the fuck.. how the fuck?" He sighed, "I don't know. I don't know how to help you. But I do know you'll get through this and I'm going to make sure I'm there for you. Now come on. Let's go to bed for a bit, I'm taking you to Harvey's once you get some more rest."

You didn't even protest about seeing Harvey. You knew you needed to, you couldn't do it alone. And you couldn't put all the pressure on Shane. He led you to bed, and just made sure you got comfortable. You wrapped your arms around him. And you cried. Not because you were sad, though you were sad. You cried because it was over. You weren't alone with it anymore. You cried because you knew you would be okay. Maybe not soon, but eventually. You would be okay. He hugged you tighter. He knew. Shane gave you a forehead kiss, and let you let everything out. For now, you could just lay in his arms and feel.

Please, again, reach out to someone if you struggle with self harm or suicidal ideation. It's extremely important, and I know it's hard. But things will get better.

An* I wrote this so late at night. And then i started almost crying when writing this because it was too emotional for tired me. And then I decided listening to Mitski when writing this would be a great idea. (Spoiler alert. It wasn't lmao)

An part 2* came back to this like the next day (2 days later??) And this is still very sad 🤠👍 I don't like making myself sad from my writing but I also can't stop. Send help/j

(Also ignore the random POV switch. Like read it, yes, but I know it was kinda short and random-)

Masterlist

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Hi hi!! Can I request a (Any character/s of your choosing) with a young teen reader who died an eldritch being?

I just wanted some comforting dad content

Slender:

While you're not the first teen he's brought into the mansion, you are the first that's become an eldritch being. Slender's father had died and become an eldritch, and so Slender is familiar with the process and the fact that you'd dealt with great, unimaginable suffering in your human life for you to have become an eldritch. Slender does his best to care for you, welcoming you into the mansion and providing you with everything you might need. He also makes sure to get you into a form of therapy (whether with him or with a therapist he trusts and respects) because he knows you have a lot of trauma to unpack. He does his best to let you know you have a home and a safe family now, introducing you to the others, taking an interest in you and your hobbies and likes, and making sure you feel loved and supported. He has an open-door policy, and he encourages you to seek him or any of the others out should you need someone to talk to. He also does his best to try and help you figure out any powers and abilities you might have and how to use them, although if he struggles he'll take you to his mother for extra guidance, as she's better at these things than he is. He makes sure to work it into you that powers such as these are not to be taken for granted, and for you to use them safely and only for good reason. Slender promises to both you and himself that he'll do his absolute best for you, to give you a better life and to help you recover from the scars of your last one. With everyone around you, supporting you and helping you relax, it's not too long before Slender sees energy returning to you, excitement as you run around with the members of the mansion, and it makes him so unbelievably happy to have been able to give something like this to you.

Zalgo:

New eldritch beings are rare, and as the king of the Underworld one of Zalgo's responsibilities is identifying them and their abilities, and that's what he does with you, intending to leave you alone to try and survive just like everyone else, but... He can't bring himself to do it, no matter how firmly he insisted to himself that he would. You're just so young and scared, fearful and timid, not at all fit to be surviving on your own as such a competitively violent species that eldritch beings can be, so, he caves and takes you in. He has no clue what he's doing, after all his own upbringing was rather unorthodox and cruel, so he struggles in the beginning to figure out how to effectively parent and assist someone like you. He does have his staff help out, having them help you settle in, having them make sure you're eating and staying hydrated. I think like Slender he would try to get you a therapist in the Underworld, probably the best one money can get, and he (quite clumsily) tries to socialize with you and make sure you know that you can count on him and ask him or any of his staff for help if you need it. He's much more equipped to help you learn to control your powers than Slender is, and he spends a bit of time before you both go to bed every night helping you practice how to use them, and he always goes at your own pace, never forcing you and never getting upset if you fail. Eventually, the two of you settle into a rhythm, and you begin to seem much more at peace than when you first arrived, and Zalgo continuously finds himself surprised at how much his parental instincts seem to be growing. He feels glad that he had rescued you, as with how attached to you he's become, he couldn't imagine throwing you out to the wolves like that now. No, you belong at his castle. At home. 

[ofallthingsnasty]

Bill gives off “will fuck you minutes before you have to go meet up your friends so he can get out of it AND have you embarrassed” energy so I’ll love it if you can write that scenario 👉👈

Nothing but facts here 🤭💕 He's such a smarmy asshole haha @flameshadowwolf 😘

fic referenced - please give it a read before you jump into this one, you'll probably need the context.

tags: yandere, heavy dubcon, Bill being condescending as always, breeding mentioned, talk of future knotting, past noncon + forced impregnation + forced marriage, chubby reader, f!reader, werewolf/human, minors dni word count: 3k

You haven’t done your makeup in forever. It’s been at least two months, you think, as you try to remember which of the colors in your little eyeshadow palette is the best for a monochrome look. You don’t really have the time to duke it out with a more complex style right now, especially with your rusty skills - there is barely an hour left until you're supposed to meet Ellie, car ride not included. Your mind sings at the prospect of a quiet evening, with friendly chatter and good food - and you not having to do anything. No needy toddler, no sticky little hands and pouty mouth to rob you of every last ounce of patience and energy, just adults-only conversations and friendly faces. Ellie and her husband Francis are the only members of the pack that are making an effort to include you and you like them all the better for it. You buff out the eyeshadow a little closer to your brows while you try to keep your bitterness down.

That fateful night three years ago had been your D-Day, and everything that followed was just punch after punch to your face - including being shunned by the very community that you had unwillingly become a part of. Of course, the whole pack knows what happened. Three years might have passed, but they still stick their necks together and whisper about it as though it all happened yesterday, avoiding your presence like you’re some bad omen, the hangman’s bride herself. Only Hugh and the Evett couple are cordial, the rest act as though you’re the black sheep of the family. It’s a small relief but at least they treat your daughter fairly well. It might change once her peers reach a mature enough age to be included in the gossip but for now your little toddler girl doesn’t have to play alone on the playgrounds and is invited to birthday parties only her father can take her to.

You rummage through your little makeup bag, searching for your brow powder. It’s probably too old to use safely, but you don’t care as you smudge it into the hairs. It’s not like you have the time to buy a new one.

Out of the whole pack, only your life is ruled by some archaic tradition. You had asked Ellie once about her and Francis and when she answered that they were high school sweethearts, you had quickly ducked into your coffee, ashamed of your own fate. 

Of course, she knows. You’re close enough in age - she’s a few years younger and still bright-faced, probably taking a giant heap of pity in your circumstances. It doesn’t matter to you, you’re just glad that someone who knows about this whole supernatural business is friendly with you - your old, blissfully unaware friends have long since grown tired of your bitter rants about your husband, not understanding why you’re still with him.

Oh, if only they knew. Their not-so-subtle nudges to get you to go to therapy (or to ditch Bill) get nothing but a grim laugh out of you now. No therapist could get you out of this mess, no stupid self-help book could give you the courage (with a sparkle and fire emoji, of course) to just leave. Just leave. God, it’s so stupid it makes you grimace.

Your life simply isn't your own anymore - right down to your name. Now you're just Mrs. Timmons, with a small golden band and his goddamn scent all over you (marking you as his possession). He had dragged you to the altar kicking and screaming, breaking plates and ripping up that gaudy number he had proposed as your wedding dress, but in the end, he had succeeded.

You had threatened to leave once, when Claire had been so very little, to pack her up and go - to the other side of the country, out of the country, across continents - just to get away from him. It had all been hot air, said in a dark moment of despair, of fear.

The solemn truth is that there is no way out of this. No matter how much you screech and fight - you’re not up against a regular man. Behind that grubby smile and dark eyes lies a creature that can track you down with deadly precision and has claimed you as its own, until the day it dies.

It sure is easy to forget when he throws his dirty shoes down onto the couch table or when he smokes when Claire is in the room, when he doesn’t do shit around the house and you get to stew in your anger, ruminate on the abysmal hand fate had dealt you. Then he’s just a regular piece of shit, just another good-for-nothing husband you get to nag and scream at and fume around. But when he fucks you - that’s when he’s back to the snarling beast he had been in that shed. The way he holds you down, even as a mere man, his grip like iron, his eyes feral and wide - even thinking about it makes you shudder.

It doesn’t matter right now, you think. You’ll be safe from his wandering hands and salacious comments in a matter of minutes, able to be yourself and not the always-scowling fury you have been turned into.

Just a swipe of mascara and your purse- 

A soft knock on the door frame interrupts you.

The sound of Bill’s heavy footsteps save you the glance over your shoulder to confirm it’s really him. “Wow, look at you”, he whistles, a freshly lit cigarette in his right hand. “Did I forget something? Date night? Our wedding day? My birthday?”

He laughs at his own joke as he takes a drag and you can already feel the annoyance starting to boil in your stomach. “I kid, I kid. You’re gonna meet with the Everett girl tonight, right? Girl’s night, eh?”

 “Yeah. Francis will join us later, though”, you say, clipped, brushing your mascara wand over the lower lashes of your left eye.

  “That so?”, you can hear him sucking in another lungful, sounding almost pensive. “Sounds awfully nice, princess.” You hum, finally done with your look. “I did invite you to come. If you remember.” A husky laugh behind you makes your brows furrow. “Jesus, woman, what did I do to you now?” You bite your tongue. Oh, you know. You just forcefully impregnated me three years ago and maybe I still haven’t worked through that. No biggie, though. “Be nice to your old man, yeah?”

He takes the cigarette into his left hand and presses a kiss to your temple, then drags his lips down to your ear. His stubble scratches the thin skin that is stretched over the cartilage of your helix and you can’t suppress the shudder. The right hand that lands on your shoulder is heavy and warm as it rubs and presses the fat over the joint, thoughtful but firm. “I have been nothing but kind, haven’t I? If you had ended up with that little freak, you wouldn’t have seen the sun ever again.” Crinkling, dark eyes meet yours in the mirror. 

Evan. You still think about him sometimes, but he moved just shortly after you started showing, too distraught that it had been Bill's kid and not his. You'd pity him if he hadn't done the unthinkable to you, just like Bill did.

“You do know that, don’t you?” Despite yourself, you nod - suddenly hot and cold at the same time. “I keep you fed, I keep a roof over your head, I let you run free, I let you tear up my shit when you’re mad, I let you go to your uppity little bitch you like so much- I think I’m doing way more than necessary, darling.” He mouths at your ear again, suddenly licking and biting the shell, only stopping when you visibly cringe. “I even think I deserve a little something for that, hm? And if it’s not gratitude, it might just be something else.”

He presses out the cigarette before you can even answer, right on top of your eyeshadow palette. Rough hands glide over the nape of your neck, down to your shoulders and settle right underneath your tits where he pushes them up and catches your eyes in the mirror again. “Just look at you, baby. I wish I could ruin all that makeup with my cum but we can’t have you be late for your little wine dinner, hm?” You see your own face twist in shock at his crude words and he watches in amusement, hands already working the soft flesh of your chest. He pinches and prods through the sturdy fabric that cups your tits, rubbing the material between his fingers to appraise it. “Aw, you’re wearing only a t-shirt bra today, aren’t you? Not my favorite lace number?”, he says and squeezes over your clothed nipples roughly, making you yelp in pain. “Or maybe I should be glad you aren’t. Else I’d think you’re dressing up for the Everett boy.” “But you’d never do that, would you?”, his tone drips with something dark. “You’d never betray me, hm?” Your breath stutters. It’s not a question. It’s a threat. “Why, I-”, you gasp, the words enough to shake you out of your stupor. “Why would you think that?”

“Dunno, babe”, he almost croons. “Just wanted to put it out there. In case you got into your little head again.” His hands wander down to your stomach and grab your fat roughly, a deep growl ending the conversation. He buries his fingers deep into you, so deep it stings and you subconsciously stretch upwards, granting him easier access to your neck. He promptly uses it to nip the skin of your pulse point.

“Soft as ever. Makes me want to bite and devour you whole”, Bill laughs. “But I’ll settle for putting another baby in you.” The nails digging through the cotton of your shirt turn sharp and long - he chuckles as you yelp, as you try to wiggle out of the chair in front of your vanity. “Too late, honeypie.” The man who stares back at you through the mirror is no longer a man - he is a wolf again, the same one that sounded the bell for the end of the life you once knew. “Don’t give me those pitiful eyes. Where’s all that fire, huh?”, he snickers, grotesque notes strung together by a deeper voice, by bigger lungs. “Your snippy little attitude. You do know I love to fuck it out of you, again and again.” Your head is pushed down into the wood and it sends your mascara and brushes flying to the floor. He simply drags your face over the vanity until the crown of your head touches the cool glass of the mirror, your legs slowly rising with the stretch. 

You have a hunch of what will follow. “Ass up, sweetheart”, he bites out and kicks the chair underneath you to the side with so much force you can hear it splinter. You’re left to stand on shaky legs, the cartilage of your nose pressed into the furniture. “Good girl.”

You only whimper in response, too weak to struggle against him, even as his hands leave your head.

He shows little regard for your clothes, as little as he had for his in the moment he turned - sharp claws dig into your nicest pair of jeans with little care, thick hands pull them down by force - over your belly, then over your ass. They're left just above your knees as he targets the next layer, a simple pair of cotton briefs. He slices through them and groans at the sight of you - fully exposed, bent over, vulnerable and oh-so-soft.

 "The baby did you good, sweetheart", he laughs and spanks your ass so hard it echoes through the room. "Made you even better. Maybe another one will make that ass even fatter."

  You're mortified at his crude words - but any indignant squawk of protest gets stuck in your throat as he presses his whole muzzle into your cunt.

He licks and pushes and sucks - eats you out so messily that his spit drips down your thighs and you can't contain your voice any longer.

You're rewarded with a chuckle and even more fervor. 

It's too much and yet not enough - his tongue only brushes your clit but he fucks your hole with it so well it makes your legs shake. You don't even register the way his claws dig into your ass, the pain barely noticeable over the mess he's making in between your thighs.

It’s not enough to make you cum but you feel yourself loosening up, growing pliant under his touch. Maybe he can feel it too because just a few precious minutes later he stops, licking his maw loudly. “Could eat you out all day, princess”, he chuckles behind you. “But you got a little girl’s night to go to, don’t you?” You manage nothing but a teary-eyed nod, throwing him a look over your shoulder, that terrifying creature staring right back at you, the man within it clearly getting drunk with the power he has over you when he is like this. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it quick.” He pushes himself into you slowly, but firmly - his saliva mixed with your own arousal making the most obscene squelch. It’s almost a relief to feel him in you after he fucked you on his tongue and you close your eyes, savoring the feeling of him working you open.

“You take me so well-”, he grits out and you moan in response. You should be ashamed of how much you long for his cock, how the years have made you compliant, even needy for him, even though you’re thoroughly terrified of him - but you can’t find it in you to care right now. The shame will come later, when you’re alone with your thoughts again but for now you just want to him to fuck you so well you’ll forget about everything. He starts out slow but it doesn’t last long - it never does. Just a few thrusts in and he’s found a rather harsh pace that has him fist the neck of your blouse to steady himself, claws puncturing the fabric. “God, I just wanna knot you, sweetheart”, he groans and you believe every word of it. “Bet you want it too- Always such a slut for my knot-” You clench around him both in arousal and shock - taking Bill’s knot is such a messy experience, one that would make you late for sure, with everyone able to smell just why you’re an hour behind schedule. “Ah, tomorrow- I’ll fucking knot you tomorrow.”

Your body is dragged over the wood with every thrust, the crown of your head bumps into the mirror every time he bottoms out - you feel like nothing more than toy with the way you’re rattled around. He seems a little extra desperate, probably trying to empty himself into you as fast as possible.

“Right now I’m- I’m- gonna make you stink with my scent, gonna mark you so that they all know how well I fuck you.” How embarrassing for you. Of course Francis will immediately smell it the moment he walks into the door and you’ll have to duck your head behind your wine glass - wolf that he is, claims like this won’t go unnoticed. “So you can’t run away from me-”, he gasps, out of breath with effort. “And no one can take you, either-” Even through your fucked-out haze, something clicks. He’s insecure. That’s why he’s in this form, why he’s so intent on filling you up before you sit yourself down with friends. Why he just won’t come with you eludes you - but that is Bill, ever so possessive, ever so puzzling.

You’d laugh at him if you weren’t currently getting mounted by a two meter tall humanoid monster, if you weren’t so literally fucked right now.  A groan pulls your attention back to the creature you call your husband. “Oh fuck, babe-”, Bill moans behind you, his pace getting even faster. It grates your insides, your body trying to keep you lubricated as he pounds you. Spittle flies through sharp teeth and lands on your ass as he unabashedly lets his maw hang open, too blissed out to care.

“I’m gonna cum, oh shit- Shit-”, he says and loses himself in a string of curses, trying to fuck you as you deeply as he can, rutting into you with so much force you’re scared the mirror is going to break off the vanity. “Fucking take it-”

The snarl he lets out isn’t human anymore, as are the claws slicing into your scalp, the sudden grip keeping you in place. He shudders violently as he pumps you full of his load, hot and wet. The feeling is enough to wring a throaty moan out of you - not enough to make you cum, but enough to make your legs shake and clench around him. “Damn…” Bill wheezes into the silence that follows, hands still iron on your skin. You slump into the wood beneath you, sweat-slicked and high-strung. He laughs as he hears the thump of your forehead against the vanity. “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re gonna make me go before my time with that pussy.” You don’t answer, already irritated with him again. “Well-”, he coughs and takes his hands off you, sounding much more composed. “Looks like you need to start over with your little look.” His words make you gasp and paw at your face, the sticky smudge of mascara palpable on your cheeks. You don’t need to turn your head up to the mirror to tell that you’re back to square one, that you’ll be late, with a dripping cunt and hastily scrawled on makeup. Your arousal is gone in an instant, replaced by hot rage burning its way through your stomach for good. A pat on the head and a content sigh behind you make it boil over, make you clench so hard you actually push him out of you. It’s laughed away, either mistaken for the wrong emotion or simply ignored. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, your old man will make it up to you tomorrow.”

[softxsuki]

Urgent request! Before I start I just want to say that if you are overwhelmed with asks or are uncomfortable with this request please feel free to ignore it. Anyway, can I request baji, and mitsuya with a very sunshine/ happy go lucky gf who’s always smiling but one day they see her self harm scars (that she’s never said anything about)? I’ve always been the therapist friend and the one to help people when no one else would, but no one ever helped me.

I always wear long sleeves cause mine go all up my arm and I hate them. I’ve been clean for a few years now but I never wear short sleeves due to people making uncomfortable comments and just out right being rude to me for having them. I’ve had family members yell at me for hurting myself/ having scars, never really asking if I’m ok. I just want to comforted by my favorite boys and actually be able to vent to someone without being judged and not have to keep up being happy all of the time.

Side note: keep up the great work, I’ve read through your stuff and it has really brought me comfort :’) also take as much time as you need, i don’t want to rush you

Baji and Mitsuya (Separate) Comforting Sunshine S/O After Seeing Her Scars

mentions of self-harm and scars, please don't read if those things will be harmful to you, rather than comforting pls

Pairings: Baji x Fem!Reader, Mitsuya x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of scars, alluding to self-harm

Genre: Comfort

Word Count: 520

Post-Type: Headcanons

Summary: In which you're usually happy-go-lucky so they're shocked when your sleeve raises and they see scars there

[A/N: Hey hun <3 thank you so much for being so sweet and patient, I really appreciate it! I was more than happy to write this for you. I just hope this is able to bring you some comfort! Thank you always for the support <3]

Baji:

Baji is shocked, he’s used to seeing your strong side, the side of you that’s always put together and happy

You always had a smile on your face and never failed to spread that sunshine to the people around you as well, including himself–it’s one of the reasons why he fell for you so quickly

So when he sees those scars for the first time and you let him in on what you’ve been feeling behind your smile, he becomes very protective over you

Not only did he think he needed to protect you from others, but now also from yourself

Of course, this man was always protective of you, but even more so when he sees your scars

He feels bad for the times he ranted to you when you were probably going through your own struggles and he didn’t even realize it

Awkwardly says that he’s there for you if you want to talk about anything (he’s bad with feelings, but at least he’s trying)

Give him some time to loosen up and get used to all this

Yes, he’s very awkward at first and kinda doesn’t know how to go about acting now, but give him some guidance and he’ll figure it out

He loves you and just wants you to be okay, so expect a very clingy Baji for the next few weeks until you open up more to him and show your true feelings in front of him instead of hiding them behind a smile like you always did

Mitsuya: 

Mitsuya is also shocked at the sight of your scars, but he’d never let that shock appear on his face

He has always been your biggest support system, so he’s definitely going to be even more now than ever

Presses kisses to your scars, no matter how old or fresh they are, with the utmost of care, showing you how much he loves you and how these scars change nothing between you

Goes out of his way to design you shirts with long sleeves or jackets when the weather gets colder that he knows you’ll love, if you decide to continue to cover the scars

But makes sure you know that there’s nothing to hide, he accepts all of you, even your arms with scars, and nobody would be stupid enough to comment about them with him around

To him, those scars are proof of your strength, you got through some of the hardest moments of your life and you’re still around pushing through it all, he admires that so much, but he’d never let you go through those battles alone anymore to the point where cutting felt like your only route to relief

Mitusya makes extra time for you in his day, checking in on you and spending time with you to make sure you’re doing okay

Encourages you to speak your true feelings with him, there’s absolutely no judgment with him at all; you don’t need to plaster a fake smile on your face to please him

He wants to face your problems with you and help you overcome them together

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 12/11/2023