#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is

[deus-ex-mona]

little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3

[baekhvuns]

I just read your “ateez as dad’s” reaction, and it was so adorable that could we see the members of bts as Dad’s?? thank you!!

bangtan reactions ; requested

。。。bangtan as dad's ( this is definitely my favourite type of reactions to do )

── kim seokjin ;

imagine him making his kids sit on his broad ass shoulders while they play with his chocolate brown hair.

his kids getting his worldwide handsome looks from the minute they pop out the womb.

he’s a sag, we know his kids be the best dressed.

omg imagine when his kids grow old, and he’s teaching his daughter how to drive, he’ll be so soft with her, “nooo, take the right—yes yes good job!”

and then when he’s with his son, the asian dad comes out. “aY, WATCH YOUR SPEED— OHMYGOD DID YOU JUST RUN A RED LIGHT?”

“dad, the light was green.”

“YOU JUST RAN A LIGHT, YOU IDIOT!” smacks his kid on the head.

i think when as his kids grow older, the more funny jin gets, random dad jokes being thrown around.

imagine getting ready for a wedding event or some party, and he’s yelling that he’s starting the car when he’s sitting on the bed with his phone scrolling through the army cafe.

── kim namjoon ;

man, i don’t even know (this is too soft)

best dad, wbk (i think it’s a leader thing, all leaders in kpop, would be such amazing dad’s)

buys his kids magical and deep meaning story books that he reads to them every night before bed.

he finally put the baby shoes he bought to a proper use, and then buys every single colour in it because his kid really liked them.

imagine joon, in his tux with glasses (the fit he wore to grammy’s) while he’s holding his son while standing tall and the media gushes over how adorable the pair is. crying

his kid holding one of his fingers while walking down the streets or the red carpet while wobbling on their feets.

“dada?” his kid calls for him while he’s in his office, he pauses and smiles, waving his kid to come over and places them on the table. while he writes songs, his kid plays with either his hair or the jewelry he was wearing.

definitely as his kids grow older he gets a bit stricter, cause he has his moments here and there.

when it’s time for his kids looking for girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s, he’ll have the talk with them and give them advice while walking back and forth like a lecturer.

── min yoongi ;

he’d be the sweetest dad ever, 🥺

calls his kids his angels, imagine his kids get his gummy smile (I WOULD DIE)

imagine yoongs buying his kids small little bucket hats that cover their entire faces and he just takes selfies with them and posts it on the army cafe with the caption, “look at my angels, army.”

i think he’d be a very open minded dad, although he’s on the quieter side many would think he’s really strict and stern kinda like a sergeant.

but in reality he’s a dad who gives his those ticklish kisses when someone puts their face in the kids stomach (ifykwim) and they’d fall into a giggly mess.

whoever hurts his kids, better start running, whether it be teachers or some random kids on the block or heck even the “fans”

no one hurts his family, he’ll work in quietness and place a lawsuit on the people who hurt them.

agustd mixtapes would include a song that would be titled the birthdate of his first born as a present to them and army. as well as have a separate song for his kids titled ‘my one and only’

as his kids grow older and his daughter introduces her boyfriend to him, i think we all know the poor young man would be scared shitless of the agustd.

“if you want to date my daughter, rap better than me.”

yeah, goodluck.

── jung hoseok ;

get ready for a very adventurous dad,

wakes his kid early mornings for random trips down by the bay, all while they whine and he stands there in his dad sandals grinning proudly.

jiwoo would spoil the shit out of hobi’s kids, his kids would be dressed in those pretty aesthetic outfits.

he makes them smol little rainbow bracelets and puts them around their little baby wrists. 🥺

always has his kid propped up on his hip, whenever he dances or shows other trainees and teaches them how to do certain moves, his kids watch him with bright shiny eyes.

the trainees awe at his kids, omg imagine his kids bopping their heads to the beat while clapping their hands like dolphins while hobi dances.

his kids would be dance prodigy’s, i said what i said.

matching outfits with his lil babies !! imagine hope comes home and finds his kid playing with his colourful glasses with his shirt over their heads, softly giggling 🥺

── park jimin ;

ma’am, i will tell you, he would be the strictest dad in bangtan.

i think we all watched that hello counsellor episode where he was angry at the boy who put his dolls before his family.

he’d be a great dad, of course, he loves kids and would do anything for his own. but of course, he’d be on a stricter side.

i see him constantly comparing his pinky finger with his little kids because he finally has someone who’s pinky fingers aren’t bigger than his.

his relaxing time is whenever his kids are close to him, imagine his kids hiding their faces in jimin’s neck because they’d be shy by the amount of people taking their photos and you would just hear the armies go, “AWWWWWW.” honestly same.

he’d bring his kids to bangtan’s concerts! as toddlers he would bring them out during the encore time while holding his hands and making them sing a little bit of bangtan’s songs in their baby voices 😩

as more adults, like around 8-9, he’d bring them to more music shows but send them home early because it’s bed time, but not before kissing them a goodnight.

let’s face it, his kids be the hottest. his kids would be listed as the hottest celebrity kids alongside many other’s and jimin would just boast about it everywhere.

he’s really proud of his kids and won’t hesitate to show it in private moments or even in public moments.

dance classes with dad jimin >>>

── kim taehyung ;

he loves kids, a lot.

he’d do anything for them, the friend dad, his kids would forever be his first priority.

watch his kids get the entirety of his facial genes which would automatically make them prettier / handsomer than 99% percent of the population.

takes his kids to art gallery’s around the world, shows his artistic side to his kids who also enjoy.

painting with his kids would be his favourite time of the day, imagine his kids little fingers doing finger painting and showing it off to tae who would be more than proud and start clapping loudly.

tae’s big hands would cradle his babies faces and squish their cheeks as they fall into fits of giggles, tae’s heart just swells whenever he hears his kids laugh.

bro honestly, tae’s treated like a president, his kids would like the first kids of the country, constant headlines of tae and his kids holding hands would go viral while we all suffer bc we could never 🙃

so, uh, if you mess with his family, consider yourself done, after all he’s the kim taehyung.

as much as he’s proud of his kids, he would be secretive about his private life, as in he wouldn’t want to expose his kids to the world of being a celebrity and being famous beyond.

but imagine, the day he introduces his kids to the world (idk but i’m seeing his son) while wearing a nice tux with black hair, one hand in his pocket while the other over his son’s shoulders.

people would be shocked because his kid is the exact copy of him, but we would be shocked because another kim taehyung is born.

── jeon jungkook ;

welcome to world of wholesomeness, your stay would be making you uwu a lot.

imagine his kids playing with kooks long hair and he lets them hairstyle it however they want. with pretty pink rubber bands

hIS KIDS WILL GET HIS BUNNY TEETH OR WE RIOTING.

his (idk but i’m seeing a son again) son would have his shiny eyes and bunny teeth, overall would be so adorable that kook would have a heart attack whenever his baby would look at him.

imagine you coming home and seeing both your kids sleeping on him, one over his chest while the other his sprawled over his stomach, and you hear the soft snoring of the three of them echoing around the room.

takes candid pictures of his kids whenever they’re having fun in the playground or at road trips, omg imagine him and his kids singing singing to songs while kook drives down the pretty road.

whenever a bangtan song comes on ten radio his kids would start screaming and kook would be smiling all brightly while glancing at them through the mirror while shouting the lyrics himself.

writes songs for his kids, his lullabies would be heavenly.

i also think he’d be a strict dad, after jimin, i think he’ll take on that position.

only when they are slightly older, because kids make mistakes and kook will take it to his responsibility to teach them the right things and to repeat what’s the righteous.

he would be more stricter towards his sons while being more favourable towards his daughters because they got his eyes and he can’t ever say no to them.

no, but he would be great friends with his son, they would play almost any sports together, whether it be online or in person.

really tries his best to be the best dad for his kids and no matter what happens he’ll always be by their side.

[smolbeandrabbles]

Illicit Affairs - Harold x Reader (Adore)

Cruel Summer / Magnets / The Next Best Australian Record

GIF CREDIT: X

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

 Author’s Note: I know I said I was kinda finished with these two as far as I thought safe to take them.  Oh, but this song I haaaaaaad to...

So here’s another one on the list of ‘how long does it take you to write a fic’. I decided I was writing this on 8th October (when I wrote my plot notes. at like 11pm) then I wrote and finished it on 10th/11th.  Whereas sooooome stuff gets stuck in my drafts for like 6 months. And honestly I really don’t know how I do it. There’s a fic on my side blog that I turned around in 24 hours, which is another thing entirely but I am the most inconsistent writer! 😅🙈😬 I don’t know how you all put up with it, to be honest, but I’m glad you’re all here!

Ah shit we being and ‘end’ with Taylor again?! Ah well, can’t be helped!

Disclaimer: Adore/Adoration not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: With Harold now divorced things get a little easier for a while, but you shouldn’t expect things to remain so un-convoluted for long, especially when you receive an invite to Tom’s wedding...

Words: 6418

Warnings: Sexual connotations / Sexual Pre-Amble / Swearing

_______ Make sure nobody sees you leave Keep your eyes down Tell your friends you're out for a run You'll be flushed when you return Take the road less traveled by Tell yourself you can always stop

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times

Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times ---

Life all seemed a little easier after his divorce. You still had to be careful, that much was certain, but it didn’t feel like a full affair. The only attachment either of you had was each other. For you it felt like a weight was lifted - a worry. If you only had to worry about what your friends and the University would think if they found out, all that really mattered was being careful on campus. Surprisingly easy; longing glances in class could have meant anything (didn’t they all already know you had a massive crush?), but that ‘catch you later’ smile on his face was the best new thing. Not every night, but a few of them you would spend back at his place. It felt like a real relationship now, you’d found something meaningful. Now you could spend time with him off campus, you seemed to get even more careful on it. It wasn’t the only place you could touch him, hold him, kiss him anymore. You’d been concerned about him leaving you. The age gap in itself would give him more than enough reasons. But he didn’t; Harold stayed. And eventually it wasn’t just belief that he wouldn’t leave you, you knew he wouldn’t. So another year at university ended, and this summer was the first you’d spent between Sydney and home. Obviously, Harold wasn’t going to be coming back. And far be it from your parents to stop you from going back to see your friends. They were just glad to see you happy, and having your own adventures. And you did get to have adventures, even if you never left his house. Summer bled into another year of university, important as your final one, strange in every social context you could possibly think of. Unusually tough to balance – and it made you only too glad to immerse yourself in your class work rather than your relationship. One of the blessings of Harold being that much older than you and having been there before (and heck as if he didn’t know about stressed and struggling university students), was that he understood and let you get on with what you thought was important. You still saw him, just not as often, and it affected nothing between you. Tom wanted to see more of his father, again that was understandable to you, but it was weird to see him kicking around Sydney and occasionally in your classes. On the instances you did bump into each other – and none of them very compromising, that you made sure of – you were civil. But there was never anything more to it than that, until Mary. Your first thought should obviously have been ‘I guess his girl back home didn’t work out’. Instead it was more about things becoming even more convoluted. Harold had come to you with the great idea that, as a final year and preparing to take that leap into the world of acting, you could mentor the lower years on your experience. Your mentee met your ex-boyfriend, and the next thing you knew they were dating. Harold thought it was hilarious, you weren’t so sure – but were at least prepared to see the ironically funny side. You certainly neglected to mention it any time you talked with her though. You weren’t sure you could get through a conversation without ‘Oh yeah and by the way he’s a cheater…’ Highly inappropriate! As you did start to consider your future seriously, the path you found yourself on came from an unexpected place. A new friend – a guy in class who you knew of, but had never really worked with. Stuck together for one of your many final projects, this wasn’t just about developing a few scenes – but a whole two-person stage play. It was like a light bulb moment, how well your energy and creative process and thinking matched. On the same page from the first moment, you weren’t sure which one of you had suggested doing this past your final year, but it seemed like the most logical thing in the world. As expected, Harold was nothing but supportive. Even joking that you’d get your work finished and produced before any of his. Before you hushed him with kisses and let him know how much you believed in him. Adding to your mad year, Harold also moved house – still beach front, modern and pretty. But it maintained a nice rustic aesthetic. Polished wood and steel. He whisked you up to see it before he’d even bought it – because apparently you got a say in things like this now. ‘Why? You’re the one living here.’ ‘I want you to still want to visit me.’ ‘I’d visit you if you were in a 1 bedroom flat with peeling paint and a leaky kitchen sink, you know that.’ ‘Yeah but, maybe it won’t always just be my house.’ You hoped he didn’t expect to be met with anything but joyful screaming at that. The very last thing – as if everything else wasn’t enough - was the final year production. Gruelling auditions were worth it once you got the main part, opposite your future business partner. It was nice, it was going to give you a taste of the future, a trial run. Harold unfortunately was in charge of the second years instead, but he brought Tom over to help manage it – no prizes for how he met Mary. Still, you went along to watch and support. Wondering how exactly you could make him a piece of the puzzle… proud of him and his vision. It made you nothing but excited for that original work of his to be complete – it would be nothing but an honour for you to star in it. Yet it also meant that he didn’t get to see yours until it debuted, and somehow having him on the front row provided you with a confidence boost. And that little wink he gave you as you took your bows gave you all the hints you needed about where your night was going… You wouldn’t lie to yourself anymore, Harold was everything you had always wanted. *** You gave it almost exactly a year after you had finished studying before you ‘came clean’ to your friends. Oh, you were never going to tell them the full details, and you certainly weren’t about to tell your parents everything: just that you were with someone, and you were happy… really happy. In your opinion that was all that should have mattered to them. Your friends were all incredibly shocked at first, but then supportive, and they instantly brought back some of their old favourite jokes ‘Holy shit! Good marks eventually DID get you in his pants after all!’ The truth was not the official line: You had met in a café like total coincidence just to catch up, once… twice… turning into a fair few times… turning into chemistry. Still totally weird, still with that age gap that made everyone (and you meant everyone) caution you, still this ‘he was your teacher once-!?’ that hung around. But not the truth, not that this had been going on so much longer than that. A story that you were both happy with – because no one ever needed to know the full story. And Harold was right about his house; although you had a small apartment across town you hardly stayed there – you spent all your time with him at his. You didn’t want to call it yours, didn’t dare speak the word ours until he did it first. But it always hung there, unspoken… Soon enough your friends grew to love him. How different things were out of the classroom, the conversations and interactions between them. Them all telling you that they finally got it – and then understood why, upon you meeting up again, why you’d hooked up. Which only had you pitying them for not seeing how gorgeous and amazing he was in the first place. There were a lot of shared evenings that happened around his house, where he’d let you invite your friends over but stayed well out of the way. Harold also let you invite them to his birthday though, and after the initial celebrations he and his friends stayed inside, whilst your friends stayed out on the porch. There was a chill in the air, but the fire was still going and you were all huddled together under blankets. As one by one his friends left and you were still sitting out giggling and sipping wine and beer, Harold came out to check you were all okay. Because he cared about them as much as you did. It made you love him even more, if that was at all possible. They probably loved that they could wind you up over this more than anything else, but that was fine for you, you knew it would take time for them to get used to the idea, although the tide was already turning; it was weird but they were also loving it. No one had left, somehow in all this madness you’d kept everything. It all seemed a little too good to be true sometimes, so you made sure to count all your blessings.

 Harold’s play still wasn’t finished; he always said he was almost there, but seemed to be taking an age to edit it all – he’d let you read nearly everything but the conclusion. “Why? Won’t I like it?” “I just want it to be the final-final version before you read that. I guess it’s more… thought provoking than satisfying.” So he kept you guessing. You’d become more of a stage actor than you’d ever expected… perhaps eventually you’d commit yourself to film and TV too. You’d done a few here-and-there episodes but nothing concrete. But it was the dynamic between you and your writing partner – who, if you were honest, was quickly turning out to be your best friend – that kept you in stage work. You’d started a small production company to write and produce these plays and they were pretty successful. But you’d also been included in other, sometimes large scale, productions. And, yes, as ever, Harold was front row for as many of these as he could be. You spent your spare time as you had before, tangled up with him, reading or writing together. With always the promise of: ‘Once I finish I’m casting you in this!’ and any time the school did a production, well… it was your turn to be front row for him.

*** Your joint influence on the people in your lives became more apparent, and also came as a surprise. To you at least. And your question was tentative even if you knew the answer already. “Harry… did you… get an invite to Tom’s wedding?” He pointed up to the fridge upon which was stuck the invite; very pretty, clearly there had been a lot of thought put into this and you would think a lot of effort would be put into such a wedding. You crossed the kitchen to look at it: Plus One, interesting. “Does he know?” “He knows I have somebody but not who, why?” By now he’d caught the piece of card you were holding in your hands, and you held it up. “I didn’t expect to get one myself, but here we are. I mean if I was going to be included at all, maybe I’d be on my parents one, but-” “Oh! Mary’s influence?” “Perhaps. I haven’t told her anything either, but why me? I’m his ex and I’m friends with her… but not very good friends.” “Family friends, maybe that’s it.” “A courtesy invite? I suppose it could be. But it’s not like my parents knew you and Roz that long, I didn’t grow up there like Tom and Ian-” You thought better of it and held that thought. You scored the invite with your nails, “Do you… want me to go?” Harold tilted himself back slightly, folding his arms, “Why? Are you thinking of not going?” “It’s not that, it’s that my parents are going. They’ve already discussed it with me, I’m certainly not ready to out this. And I don’t want you to spend your son’s wedding worrying about that. It’s a big day for him and you!” “Would you go anyway?” “Harry-” “It shouldn’t be about me.” “No, it should only be about you! Yes, I would like to go, but not if it makes more sense for me to stay away.” “Then accept and come.” You blushed gently, “Is that what you want?” “Of course I do. We can play it safe, geez, the last time we were around your family was when this started and was at its most dangerous. It’s not an affair anymore, you’re not my student anymore. If something happens then it happens, but look at you. You’re a star in your own right now, you’re an adult and your life is your life!” “It’s the family friends thing, they will go crazy. Even with the story line we made up, I doubt they’ll speak to me ever again.” “Do they know you’re seeing anyone?” “They’re vaguely aware.” Vaguely was certainly the operative word – more because you certainly expected for talk to get back to them that you had a relationship. You’d never made it sound serious to them, but you told them a little to sate their curiosity. “Well then,” He walked forward, cupping your face, “we’re on the same page and we’ll be fine.” “If you say so.” “I do, don’t you trust me?” You giggled, before leaning forward and grazing your lips to his, “No offense, but that’s a stupid question!” *** You were right, there was a lot of effort put into the wedding. There were less guests for the ceremony, but from what you’d been hearing there’d be quite the after party. As you were on your own invite, you also got the perks of a separate room to your parents. You didn’t hang around the wedding party when you arrived – you weren’t about to turn up here and make yourself a nuance - and it gave you time to relax and prepare yourself for tomorrow. You’d have to try to be on your very best behaviour, no matter what Harold had said, you didn’t want there to be any incidents. Your dress was in a colour that flattered you, covered in little appliques of your favourite flowers, sensible heels in the same colour. The opportunity to do your own make-up and hair; though you kinda missed having backstage stylists… The idea was simply to follow Harold’s lead, considering this was Tom’s wedding. He greeted you with familiarity; his ex-student who he’d seen in many a production since you’d graduated. He even seemed to indicate that you had in fact met up a few times just for general interest catch ups. To which Harold also added ‘maybe I’ll get you in to talk to my students sometime.’ Your parents did ask how exactly it was that you’d leave this detail out. ‘It’s just day to day stuff! You don’t tell me every time you see your friends-!’ Now, ‘friends’ wasn’t a word they questioned. You knew you weren’t going to get to sit next to him, but your family was sitting behind him and that was adequate, he might have only glanced back a couple of times, but they were enough to have you beaming. The ceremony was sweet, smooth sailing; they really did look in love. It gave you pause for thought – was that how you looked at Harold? Still? You’d been together a while now, but then you supposed so had Tom and Mary. Maybe that was just a wedding effect – after all, was there a more romantic day for two people? You also smiled a lot, it was such a lovely occasion to behold, even the atmosphere – like everyone was finally in the place they were meant to be. Which, considering the convoluted way this had all started that fateful summer, was fairly incredible. Harold placed his hand delicately on the small of your back, as you both left the chapel. “Don’t want you to think I don’t think you look beautiful…” You nudged him gently, “If you’ll let me return the compliment.” He chuckled, “No.” “Yes! I mean that’s got to be one of the main reasons I’m here!” His cheeks turned pink and he looked a little bashful, removing his hand from you, far enough away from everyone else to sneakily lace your fingers behind your back instead, “But I mean it.” “Thank you, that’s very sweet… Yet I’m hardly the main spectacle. It’s all stunning and her dress is flawless.” “I don’t disagree, it’s very lovely. We have the rest of the day and the party yet.” “Well alright, I know you’re privy to everything.” You smiled, “I’m just happy you’re involved.” “Hmm. It’s humbling.” “You’re his father!” “He’s spent more time with Roz. Tom didn’t have to ask me.” “Well, I suppose you can’t change my opinion… As long as you know my opinions of you!” “Oh.” He let you go as you approached the drinks reception and winked, “Yes, I would think I did!” The drinks reception and dinner afterwards had exactly the same set of increasingly hilarious conversations. You weren’t always in ear shot of each other, or in the same social circles, but everyone wanted to know about the people you were respectively dating. You were a couple of drinks in, and became much more willing to open up – to the point where you were positively gushing about him. You gave your partner no name, age, or any of the questions they were asking that would be more revealing, but were more than willing to tell the rest of the story. And when you heard him being asked roughly the same questions - and sometimes you were standing together at these points - he was doing exactly the same thing. You were surprised one of you hadn’t broke out in a beaming smile or had glowed in sweet embarrassment yet. And yet it did make you feel so happy that Harold was happy to talk about you in the same way, and every so often you’d catch each other’s eyes and you would smile just like that. There was something about both being in on such a secret; you were happy you’d decided to come and be here – even if you weren’t with him, you were most definitely with him. You didn’t approach Tom and Mary until a little later but they were both so happy to see you. And you congratulated them with about as much enthusiasm. “First up you both look gorgeous! And this wedding is so beautiful… oh my gosh, you guys!” You hugged them both tight. “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both!” “Hey,” Tom nudged you, “What’s this I’ve been hearing about you, though!? Get him married.” “AHaha-” You excused yourself from your laugh, “I mean I dunno I… maybe.” You quickly turned the conversation back on them, “You both look so joyful, and so great together. Enjoy it, alright.” You pointed to Tom, “Extra enjoy it for me, I’ll see where I go.” “Oh, I will!” He grinned, hugging you again. You wondered if he ever had told Mary that you’d dated. You supposed it wasn’t the relationship with him you needed to worry about so much. Mary pulled you back to her, “Thank you, so much!” “Oh, you were always star material…” you squeezed her tight, “But you’re welcome. Maybe we’ll get to be in a production together soon!” “I’ll hold you to that!” She giggled, wishing you well as you let her go. You breathed a sigh of relief as you made your way back to your parents, all’s well that ends well…

 ***

It was a little later, after the first dance, and when everyone was moving around the party freely: everything now in full swing and at least a few of them having already having had too much alcohol, that you realised your assumption was wrong. Some people here weren’t having a good time. You were alright to sit alone and observe for now. You’d known what you were getting into. Ian, best man and from what you’d been told by Harold the one to start this whole ball rolling, was sitting around rather dejectedly. You’d watched him intently for a little while, and he seemed to be getting confrontational with just about everyone – including your man. Now he just appeared to be sulking. So much for us all being more grown up now… Eventually you’d clearly stared at him long enough to have caught his eye, and you offered somewhere between a sympathetic and fed-up smile. Attempting to give an air of ‘yeah man, I know the feeling!’ considering you were also sitting here alone, but his face just scrunched into an even bigger frown as he huffed, crossing his arms before looking away. Okay then, sorry I tried! You weren’t left alone for much longer than that, as Harold wandered over. “Hey, you doing alright over here?” “Yeah, fine.” You waved off Ian, just in case he’d seen any of that brief exchange, “Just taking some quiet time.” “Well, that’s an awful lot of quiet time…” He held his hand out for yours, “Come on, come dance.” Your eyes immediately widened, and you looked from his hand to his face, “With you!?” “No, with someone else – yes, me!” “Harry, I don’t think that we should-” “I want you to enjoy yourself… c’mon.” You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and praying this wasn’t the worst idea you’d ever had, as you placed your hand in his and he pulled you up.  “Think of it as like… a father daughter dance.” “Oh no, you just made it worse.” His laugh was embarrassed, “Oh, yeah I guess I did, didn’t I – sorry!” Harold didn’t try to make it romantic, although clearly because it was between you it was, and you supposed it was something a little reminiscent of ‘father of the bride’. Well, no one else – not even your family – was dancing with you, so why the hell not? Still you voiced the question. “Should we be doing this?” To which you were only presented with your own question: “Shouldn’t we really be beyond caring?” You couldn’t help but laugh, “You been drinkin’?!” “Not that much, give me some credit!” Oh, the want to pull him closer, your wish to lay your head on his shoulder and close your eyes as he swayed you gently on this dancefloor. To look into his eyes like you really wanted to, and were using all your self-control to make sure you weren’t. For him to just wrap you in his embrace right now. It didn’t happen, and you didn’t expect it to, but it hurt a little. Still, here you were and he was ‘holding’ you – it was as close as you were going to get, and you savoured every single second of his skin on yours. Eventually you did actually get to dance with your father and then some younger ‘gentlemen’ (though, whether you’d call them that…) cut in and you let them dance with you the way you wished that Harold could. At least you were enjoying yourself, to you that was the most important thing. But, you ended up back over by the drinks table with your actual other half, observing the party once more, and you broached the subject of the catalyst. “What did Ian say to you?” “Huh?” He turned, bottle half way to his lips. “I mean it looked like he was getting a little irate.” Harold just looked confused, so you sighed with an eyeroll, “Earlier!” “Oh.” Then he laughed, “Well clearly he’s the least happy person at this entire wedding, and he ironically said this was all my fault.” Your eyebrows raised, “Sorry!?” “Well I did take Mary to Tom’s 21st. So, I guess… that’s where they became a little more serious.” You snorted, “Holy shit. The wedding is your fault!? But what’s wrong with the-” you looked back out to the guests and then it clicked, “Everyone was growing up… You think they ended all the affairs at home?” He gave you a face to say he agreed with your deduction, “I’m glad we didn’t get the memo.” You only laughed, “I don’t think I would have agreed to the memo!” “Now we’re on the same page-!” **

You were standing outside on the patio, admiring the stars and lit scenery, when Tom caught up with you again. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes. And you just did.” That had him laughing, and you only slipped into chuckles too, he still liked how fast you were at quipping. Suddenly you were transported back – what would this have been if it didn’t become such a mess. “Your boyfriend…” “Mhm.” You straightened to the edge in his voice, and although Tom was looking at you seriously there was a hint of playfulness to his voice. “How long have you been together?” You couldn’t tell if he’d figured you out yet. “What if I said, it’s the same guy that I first mentioned to you in that massive argument we had?” He leant back against the railing, breathing out heavily. “I feel like I should have… figured it out before now.” “Considering I don’t know what you’ve figured out – you want me to help?” “It’s my dad, isn’t it.” It wasn’t even a question. You were a little affronted by his tone: “You don’t have to make it sound so creepy. In fact, if you want me to bring up glass houses…” He was a little taken aback that you’d just admit it, “Shit, you knew about-!?” “I told you I did. Yeah, that’s how this all started, you and Ian and…” you waved your hand and then pointed at yourself, “Only I stayed with mine… Geez, I’m sorry.” “Sorry?” He laughed, “Why?” “He’s… your dad. That’s not why I dated you, it’s just how it happened.” “You don’t have to explain!” He waved his hands around, “He’s happy, you’re happy, you’ve spent a lot of time together today, I have observed, and it just… I dunno, I guess it clicked. Everything he’s said about – well you – but his other half, and everything you’ve said.” “Oh, damn, is it obvious?!” “No. I just have all the pieces, don’t I?” “You’re… a little too cool with this.” “I told you we were cool before.” Tom’s look was significant, “We’re still cool. And I’m not gonna go telling everyone, until you’re ready to go do that yourselves. Besides,” he nudged you with a smile, “you seem to have enough dirt on me!” “Uh, I would never. You go off and enjoy your married life to an amazing woman, you idiot!” “I’ll do my best – but I’m never gonna call you mom!” “I’m just glad I’m older than you!” You folded your arms with a grin as he left you, with a wave, before turning back, “Why’s that!?” “The likely inevitability of grandbabies. I’m just gonna have to be the cool aunt or something!” You didn’t think you’d heard anyone laugh so loud in a long time. ***

It continued to get later, although the party was still going on and you could hardly take it anymore. You’d watched him move around in it all day, and now all you wanted was that suit on your hotel room floor, or his. That single button he’d undone and the slacked nature of his tie was nowhere near enough for you. But it was hard to let him know that when you couldn’t just go over and grab his hand; you had to just rely on glances and hope that he got it. And clearly he did, as he crossed the room back to you. Although instead of telling you that he was ready to go, he came with a cautionary tale. “We need to be careful about this.” “And your suggestion is?” “Well, we have to stagger when we leave, but you might want to say goodbye to people. Because your parents will notice you’re gone.” “Oh, your son isn’t gonna notice you’re gone, huh?” It was then Harold decided to tell you he’d seen your conversation with Tom, “Well he knows, doesn’t he.” It wasn’t a question, and you were stuck on how to respond, “I didn’t hear, but I saw you two. Is there anything you want me to say to him?” “…Well, that’s between you…” You lowered your eyes, “I didn’t tell him, he guessed.” “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Harold couldn’t touch you, so his nickname made you look up. “I’ll talk to him, maybe not tonight… You go, I’ll watch you, wait for me.” You nodded and he gave you a gentle wink before you both headed in different directions. You had one more drink before you started to play the tired card – although really you were far from it – and said goodbye to your parents, a few of the others you knew here, and finally bride and groom before you headed off. Outside of the reception room the hotel was cool and quiet (you supposed it was pretty late) and you could take a breather, sliding out of your heels on the steps it felt so good to be back on the floor. You wandered slowly up the corridor and across hotel reception, you weren’t exactly sure whose room you were heading to, but nearly everyone was on the same floor and you were all certainly on the same wing. You were just finding your way up the steps on the other side of reception when you heard the footfall of smart dress shoes behind you, and turned to Harold saying a goodnight to the receptionist who had pulled night shift. He continued his pace as he caught you, turning up the corridor but not before turning back and wishing you a goodnight. You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow: who were you keeping up appearances for now? Hotel staff? You shook your head and turned, finding him back at his room, apparently having trouble with his key.

“Would you like some help?” You slipped yourself between him and his room door. “If you would be so kind.” “Not sure I was talking about your room key…” You smirked, prising it from his hand, waiting for the beep to pull him to your lips by his tie, you stumbled backwards into the room as he pushed the door. Harold waited until it had closed to pull you into him, hands into your hair. It felt so good to have him touch you again, and you realised how much you’d yearned for it all day, as his hands moved down your neck and shoulders to your back, he continued to pull you closer. “God, I love you.” You almost whimpered it – kisses leaving you breathless, and you weren’t sure if that was because of the whole wedding atmosphere, or that you hadn’t had even a single chance to tell him face to face in nearly two days. But he needed to know, urgently. He chuckled, nuzzling your face with his own, “I love you too.” Your breath still caught every time he said it, even now. After having to wait so long for his first, there wasn’t anything any less special about it a hundred, a thousand, a million times later. He was still nothing ever but delicate with you, guiding you across his room to the bed before his hands collected on your shoulders again. Harold took a step back, the low level lighting set the perfect mood, but he moved his body so the moonlight could shine on you through the still open curtains. “You are so beautiful.” His fingers gathered under your chin, to keep you from shying away from his eyes as your own hands collected on his chest, ready to push his jacket down his arms. “You truly are.” As if he didn’t already affirm this nearly every day of his life, and Harold kissed you again. “Me?” Your instinctive reaction to flirting was always to nervously joke, “You look in a mirror, lately?” Harold shook his head before his lips traced yours again and he let you relieve him of his jacket, you were quick to unfurl his tie too. You stilled at the buttons of his shirt because his hands were back on your shoulders again and you relaxed your stance, releasing his lips to watch him push the straps of your dress down, guiding his hands across to the slight zip, he ghosted you a kiss in thanks before he let your dress fall to the floor. This time as you caught his collar to run through the buttons you kissed him harder, pushing your body into his – encouraging him to touch you and moaning into his kiss as you did so. His shirt was off quick and joined your dress as he deepened the kiss and you wound yourself around him, enjoying the taste on his tongue. Your kiss continued to get hot and heavy as your hands shot to his belt; he was no longer of the persuasion to stop you on bedroom thresholds, opening his body up for you to relieve him of it and undo his suit pants. Relenting as his hands caressed your back, finding your bra clasp; you always felt so fragile under those large hands of his, but all Harold ever did was take care of you. He lifted you gently from the floor and laid you both back in the sheets, kicking off his pants as he did so. You remained locked in your kiss as he caught you in an embrace, pulling your panties slowly down your legs, your breathing was a little shallower, at the friction of his hips against yours. You could hardly wait for him now, eagerly reliving him of his own underwear. “Shh shhh…” Harold gathered your hands in his, breaking the kiss and you whined, making him chuckle, “Darling, we have all night…” “…Harry…” The way you whined his name was delightful and that flicker across his eyes that he couldn’t control had you craving more of him, “please.” And you knew he wouldn’t deny you if you asked politely. “All night.” He repeated, and all you hoped was you weren’t going to be too loud when the other guests retired to their rooms for the evening. Hooking your leg over his hips he made sure you were completely comfortable before he entered you. You held him tighter, trying to stifle your moans in his skin. But he groaned gently too, and it was an exquisite little sound. In the comfortable quiet before you moved together, you kissed him gently again, reaffirming what you’d said before, “I love you.” Free to tell him all night now, you weren’t about to waste any opportunity. He rubbed his hands over your skin, sweet and delicate, “Darling I know… I’ve known that for a very long time.” He caught your lips once more, “I only hope I remain deserving of such love.” You weren’t sure why he occasionally said things like that to you, maybe sometimes he felt guilty about the whole thing, but you would only ever reassure him. He was deserving, and you knew he would always remain that way.

*** It was very early morning when you awoke, too much excitement in the air – even in the aftermath of the wedding - for you to sleep. You stood out on the balcony, watching the watery sky as the sun began to break through.  Harold was content to watch you from the bed as you were draped in his shirt and the bed sheet, looking out towards the ocean. There was always something about all these ocean views… He stood and half-dressed himself before joining you, he almost didn’t want to break the silence and how serene everything was. Harold opted instead to simply stand with you, caressing your exposed skin, stroking the small of your back delicately. You wore a soft smile, and although you weren’t looking at him, he knew that he was where all your focus stayed. Eventually you tilted yourself, so your head rested against him – and the noise you made was of content. The silence remained for a long time, because there was nothing for either of you to say. Why say ‘I love you’ when you’d spent your night showing each other how in love you were, and how much you appreciated the opportunity to be with each other… There was something even more beautiful about you in the afterglow, but Harold wasn’t sure he could handle just telling you that yet. There was something about the time of day, about the time you’d just spent with him, all the joy that surrounded the wedding that made you speak honestly. Something had weighed on you for a long time; it wasn’t a bad weight, just a muse you were almost too scared to voice. But after everything, right now felt like the best and only time to say it. So you did. “Is it crazy to want this... for me to wish this could be us one day?” You couldn’t look at him for fear of becoming so embarrassed that you’d stammer ‘forget it’ and run from the room. That perhaps all you would see in Harold was hesitation, and it might break your heart in two right then and there. You assumed his answer; that he would chuckle at you, and be as lovely with you as ever but tell you not to be so stupid – this wasn’t to be your fate. That wasn’t what Harold said, and the silence didn’t hang because he didn’t know what to say, but because what you’d voice demanded the gravitas and respect of a real answer, a thought out answer. He took a breath, looking out to the sky as you were, before smiling and taking your hand, pulling your body into his embrace and kissing the crown of your head. He kept his voice low and gentle, as delicate with you as ever. Why had you expected anything less? “No. I don’t think it’s that crazy at all.”

---

Thanks so much for reading 😘🤗

[hanaasbananas]

Thanks for tagging me @rosekasa ! It was really fun to read the insights behind some of your fics and art and also realising that i've read all of the fics you mentioned lmao i lOVE YOUU

Rules: It's time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you bought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

Honestly, even thogh 2020 was kinda shitty in general, it was a really good writing year for me-I finally got out of my uni burnout after writing my dissertation in 2019 and other coursework and wrote some of my favourite things. Here we go!

Phantoms In the Dark: Coming in at number one, to absolutely nobody's surprise. This fic...what can I say about this fic? It is my BABY. I came up with the idea back in April last year, I think? And I spent pretty much the next four months working exclusively on it. (Yeah I had an issue with procrastination and most of it got written when I fell down the stairs and was bedridden for a month, but I digress). I love historical AU's and there aren't nearly enough in the ML fandom so I decided to write my own and honestly 30k might not be a lot to some people but considering its the first chaptered story I've extensively planned and completed instead of abandoned, I'm pretty goddamn proud of it. Personally, I think it's some of my best work, and though it didn't get as much hype or attention as I wanted it to, it's starting to gain some now and I'm just glad its out there for people to read because I love it so much and also because of lines like this:

“You are the most extraordinary woman I have ever met,” he murmured, pulling back. His eyes were hooded, dark with desire. “And I love you.” Chat smiled suddenly, so brightly it made her heart skip a beat. “I don’t think I shall ever tire of saying that.” He leaned down to peck her lips once, “my darling,” twice, “my lady,” three times more, smiling against her lips, “...my love. ”

(Probably one of my favourite lines in this story are the last three sentences of chapter 12 but in the interest of spoilers, I won't put them here lol. Ch12 is actually FULL of some of my best writing I reckon. I mean I made people cry so...)

Ladybug Luck? What's That? : This is pure crack I love it so much. I wrote this after me and @rosekasa first bonded over ML Bollywood headcanons and the gamla scene from K3G just wouldn't leave my head until I wrote it. I wrote this instead of sleeping after iftar and posted it jUST before going downstairs for sehri lmao

Pink: An experiment in writing a story with no dialogue. I just really like this because it's just so SOFT and sweet adrinette

our eyes speak (but on our lips is silence): Wrote this for Alizeh's birthday and also because I watched Laila Majnu again and the song that inspired it is just so good. This also then spawned my series on ao3 Hanaa's Bollywood Playlist because I kept! getting! inspired! by! songs! and now here we are. I really like this, wasn't sure about it at the time but I love experimenting with different narrative styles and having moments in the present interspersed with lines of dialogue from a previous conversation between the two was really fun. Especially because I had to figure out how to have the scenes correspond to the dialogue lmao i spent so long working it out.

Exposed: Love me a good identity reveal and this was really fun to write as well, even if it is angsty as HECK. Pretty sure I wrote this in a couple of hours I honestly don't even remember much except just listening to Ishaqzaade on repeat while I wrote lol. One of my FAVOURITE tropes is when Adrien and Marinette don't know each other as civilians so then I thought 'ok what if they had a public identity reveal and have to hide out now, except they don't know each other'. And this was born.

“That’s not-” he stumbles over his words, covering her hand with his own. “That’s not why I do it.” At her questioning look, he elaborates “my identity doesn’t matter—everyone knows who I am anyway but...yours-” he licks his lips “your name belongs to you. I won’t hear it from anyone else.”

“You don’t have to tell me!” Adrien hurries to reassure her “I just-don’t want to take that away from you.”

This Red Love: My first enemies au! And probably my best as well. I love the movie Ram Leela so much, and the lyrics to Laal Ishq are so beautiful I just HAD to write something so we get this nice lovers to enemies to lovers fic!

Memory: I wrote this when I was feeling like shit and was being all lame and broody, which I think kind of comes across in the text. I love reading chat blanc fics and fix it's and what have you but here I just wanted to explore how Chat must have felt being completely alone with the knowledge that he caused the destruction of earth.

Wish: Memory walked, so that Wish could run. I closed out the year with a healthy dose of angst but I still really love this because I needed to exercise my angst writing muscles after writing fluff for so long but also because I just love really getting into the minds of these grief stricken characters and seeing how they'd react to scenarios. I also cried like a baby when I wrote this, especially a scene in the last flashback which I had the idea for and IMMEDIATELY decided to put in even though the fic was plenty sad already. What can I say, I'm mean like that 😈

Aaah Alizeh this was so much fun to look at what I wrote last year again, some for the first time since posting sjsksks thanks again for the tag! I tag @apopcornkernel @theanxiouscupcake @sukker-sugar and @2manyfandoms2count

[marcussour]

BTW, since it’s been already a week and since I guess it’s no longer a spoiler, I think it’s finally time to talk about Ahsoka and why her appearance in The Mandalorian was so disappointing.

First, a visual thing. This is how Ahsoka looks like in Star Wars Rebels (a show set 10 years before the events of The Mandalorian), where we last saw her:

And this is how she looks in The Mandalorian:

Even when taking into account the stylization that animation provides, the whole thing with her montrals (the togruta’s “horns”) is there to show the age and growth of the character. Ahsoka’s 41 y/o during The Mandalorian, which is older than what Shaak Ti was during Episode 3, and Shaak Ti looked like this:

Now, I understand that there’s a whole practicality reason behind the “shortening” of the montrals (apparently it had to do with confort and it’s appearance during action scenes), so you can kinda overlook it, but it still feels weird that Ahsoka in her early 40′s looked younger than when she was in her 30′s in Rebels.

Besides, if Disney has the money to digitally erase the “jeans dude” that they overlooked in the background of a scene 2 episodes ago, I’m pretty sure they could have fixed Ahsoka’s montrals during post-production so they looked better.

But beyond the whole appearance (which, like I said, can somewhat be overlooked), my biggest issues where related to the casting and characterization.

Starting by the casting, I know that Rosario Dawson was always the dreamed fan casting. Heck, it was even an option that I liked a couple of years ago, but all that changed the moment the transphobia allegations appeared and that many people kinda overlooked.

With independence of the rumors before this season regarding her apperance and casting, I was shocked to the mere idea that one of my favourite characters was going to be played by someone who had that cloud over them with allegations of physical and psychological violence related to transphobia.

Now, the fact that the person who made the allegations withdrew 18 of the 20 charges (without settlement), including all of those that are related to transphobic violence, changes the panorama somewhat, but the shroud of doubts will always remain (especially when we’re talking about accusations directed to a celebrity who happens to be dating an US senator) and that was always going to affect my reaction towards the episode.

Especially knowing that the social media vocal fan casting was the main reason why Dawson’s was given the role according to Dave Filoni. Because I guess people always assumed that Ashley Eckstein couldn’t play the character in live action, which I think is silly because look at this:

That’s Ashley cosplaying as Ahsoka and doing a magnificent job about it. If she could achieve this with only (expensive I asume) cosplay, imagine what LucasFilm could’ve done with the budget they have for the show. 

Especially because you not only prevent the issues regarding the casting, but also because Ashley’s already inside the mind of the character having played it for 12 years; and also because her voice for the character is really special.

Even if she was Anakin’s padawan, in a way she’s also like the daughter or little sister of Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme. She’s learned and absorbed things from the 3 of them and her voice, especially in Rebels, reflects that. There’s a calm born from experience, and a special type of solemnity and gravitas, and there’s this hint of pride and arrogance (like Maul’s told her during their fight during the siege of Mandalore in Clone Wars).

And, with exception of the scenes where Ahsoka was testing Grogu Baby Yoda and helping Din connect with him, I never felt that in any other part of the episode. And that’s something that goes hand in hand with the characterization problems.

Sure, the show gives you the idea that she’s been for quite some time trying to liberate Corvus, and you can understand that they did things the way they did during their introduction to awe the audience (especially the one that never saw the animated shows), but it’s hard to reconcile her introduction with the Ahsoka we knew beforehand.

In fact, to me the “real” Ahsoka doesn’t appear until the scene where Magistrate Morgan Elsbeth threatens her with the amount of innocent people she’s going to kill in case Ahsoka kept opposing her. Because that’s Ahsoka to me, the one that puts the safety and well being of others above her own all the time. The Ahsoka that, even when she was in dire danger during order 66, never stopped caring and thinking about the wellbeing of the clones that, beyond being her subordinates, she saw them as her brothers. That’s her character’s essence, and while we saw some of it, it just wasn’t enough.

The other big problem I think with her characterization is her refusal to train Baby Yoda considering his attachment towards Mando and how that can end badly, because she saw it first hand with regards to Anakin (yes, it was one heck of a scene I’ll admit, but in the great context it feels weird).

Obviously there’s a practic reason why they won’t do it (of course the show is not going to get rid of Baby Yoda), but it feels weird when Ahsoka is supposedly in the middle of the search for Ezra and Thrawn (I know that there’s been some talk or rumors of a retcon where the Rebels epilogue, that happened before the events of the Mandalorian, is supposedly going to be placed further down the line, in order to have a new show where Ahsoka and Sabine are looking for Ezra, but that hasn’t been confirmed). 

Yes, I know that it was part of Baby Yoda’s journey and whether he ends up on the light or dark side, but the whole talk about attachment feels like something the padawan Ahsoka from the first seasons of Clone Wars would say, not the Ahsoka that left the jedi order, that saw how the rest of the galaxy lived and thought of the jedi, and that knew that, despite Palpatine’s work, the jedi had a lot to blame regarding being architects of their own demise. There are plenty of similarities between Ahsoka’s and Luke’s thoughts in The Last Jedi, in regards of the jedi and the conceptual failures in their reasoning before order 66.

So to see Ahsoka in The Mandalorian being so “binary” in her way of thinking, so black and white, so “jedi”, felt like a regression of her character development. Of course, something could’ve happened to her after Ezra saved her through the World between Worlds, and then after the Rebels epilogue, but until we don’t know for sure, it felt like a step back for her growth, especially considering how many people where introduced to her through The Mandalorian, it’s kinda of a disservice to the character (here’s hoping that enough people check Clone Wars and Rebels to see the real character journey that she went through).

So, that’s it. I’ve been wanting to write this down for days. Because even though the episode was really good, there were enough reasons and things that made it impossible for me to enjoy it as much as I would’ve like in other circumstances. Yes, there were some things that I’ve been able to rationalize and understand after the episode aired, but I’m never getting my first impression back. 

Ahsoka is one of my favourite characters of everything (I’m pretty sure that, if it weren’t for the childhood nostalgia regarding having seen the OT when I was a child -and being obsessed with SW ever since- she would probably be above Luke in my list of favourite characters), and Clone Wars was a really important show for me (after Empire Strikes Back, is my favourite Star Wars anything).

And I can’t just conform or be happy with her appearance in this episode. The whole “just being there” is not enough, especially when you see how characters like Bo-Katan, Cobb Vanth or Boba Fett were all given their due and well portrayed in a great light, but you can’t say the same about a character that’s more important, and who sadly had this whole cloud surrounding it since the first casting rumours appeared.

Ahsoka is a character that represents the best of Star Wars, so it’s sad to see that her appearance and portrayal not only was dissapointing, but it ended up hurting so many people in the LGBTQA+ community, and especially in the trans community, many of whom are Star Wars fans that have the same passion and love for Ahsoka. And like I said the other day, the trans community concerns must be front and center and must be listened by everyone.

[oystersandpearls]

PEARL VICTOR ( CAMILLE WINBUSH ) is a 17 year old JUNIOR student at Broadripple Academy. SHE is originally from COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA but moved to Broadripple ONE YEAR ago. SHE is HARD-WORKING and SPIRITED but can also be BLUNT and INATTENTIVE.  

1. Full Name?

Pearl Eunice Victor.

2. Preferred Names or Nicknames?

None! Pearl is Pearl, end of story.

3. What does their name mean? Does it have any significance in their family? Do they like their name?

Pearl was named in memory of her great-grandmother, and that mantle is something she wears with-well, not a sense of pride, but a sense of duty. Eunice was just a name they thought sounded nice, although it’s original form does mean victory in Greek, which might make it a teensy bit redundant. Oops!

4. Age and Date of Birth?

17! She was born May 20th, 2002.

5. Gender and Pronouns?

Cis female (she/her).

6. Hometown?

Columbia, South Carolina. As such, Broadripple has been a fairly big shift for Pearl, but she’s trying to deal with it as best she can!

7. Does your character fit into any well known archetypes or tropes?

Bits of Pearl’s demeanor do fall into the classic Southern Belle archetype, generally sweet if also fairly hard-headed if there’s something she wants to fight for, but she’s not exactly accustomed to rural life.

8. How long have they been at Broadripple?

Pearl transferred into Broadripple for her sophomore year of high school, and has remained there ever since.

9. What led them to apply to Broadripple? Was it a decision made by them or by their parents/guardians or somewhere in between?

It was a joint decision, although one that was largely made by her father, a pastor at the largest AME church in Columbia. Despite Broadripple being a Catholic institution, he felt that it’s reputation meant that his beloved daughter, his only female child as well as his youngest, deserved to have the opportunities that being a Broadripple student would provide.

10. Whether they’ve been at Broadripple four days or four years, do they enjoy it? Do they like Broadripple?

In all honestly, Pearl doesn’t know if she can say that she enjoys Broadripple or not. Sure, it’s facilities are a heck of a lot better than anything she had back in Columbia, and yes, some of the boys were real cute, but despite everything, she still feels a disconnect between herself and the student populace as a whole. Maybe it’s her color, maybe  it’s the fact that so many of them have no idea what struggle is. Or, maybe it’s the fact they don’t approve of her efforts of trying to start a cheer squad. In any case, Pearl enjoys parts of Broadripple, but can’t quite see she enjoys it is a whole.

11. What house are they in? Do they care very much about their house?

Pearl is part of Seton, and honestly, most events related to the houses are the events in which Pearl displays the most enthusiasm. While she generally believes in school spirit as a whole, her competitive nature means that house events are the best way to sate that thirst, considering she doesn’t take part in any of the sports teams.

12. Who do they share a dorm with, or are they on their own for the moment? What are they like to live with? Are they clean or messy? Early risers or night owls?

At this point in time, Pearl is rooming on her own, and she would very much hope to keep it that way! Not because isn’t a good roommate, because she would definitely tell you she is - and, at the very least, she keeps her side quite organized if a bit garish with it’s constant use of baby pinks and blues, and with her waking up at 6 sharp in order to look over her work for the day.

13. How is your character’s dorm decorated? Is it bare or bursting at the seems with personality? Any particular sentimental items from home?

Pearl keeps scrapbooks with her favorite family memories tucked into a drawer in her dorm, considering she’s boarding at Broadripple and only able to go visit her family during long holidays. Her dorm room, as mentioned earlier, is decorated with family memories, as well as her fond memories of cheer and gymnastics, which she keeps framed all around. 

14. What is their favourite subject at school? Do they even have a favourite? Why?

As an astrophysicist, Pearl would be amiss to put anything other than physics as her favorite class! What initially began as a fascination with astrology ended up becoming a genuine interest in astronomy, and ever since the eighth grade, Pearl has aimed for working at NASA, even though she knows it currently isn’t exactly in the best state.

15. Are they involved in any clubs? Which ones?

Pearl is a member of the Chamber Choir, the Buddy Club, as well as the Student Weekend Activities Team, if only because she enjoys busying herself. She has been preparing herself for a run from Student Council, and as such, been considering joining Women of Broadripple as a way to gain at least some measure of recognition before she does announce her candidacy, but for now, she hasn’t made any concrete moves on that front.

16. How does your character feel about Broadripple’s Unofficial Clubs? Do they know about them? Are they a part of any of them?

Pearl regards the BBC with some disdain, although she supposes their antics do liven up the school environment. (Also, their parties are pretty good.) As someone trying not to get involved with any drama at campus, at least not through delving into things the administration would want exposed, she isn’t exactly fond of the kids going around trying to stir shit up. 

17. Does your character participate in any sports? If so, what made them join the team?

Nope! In her previous school, Pearl was a cheerleader, but seeing as how Broadripple doesn’t have a cheer squad, she doesn’t participate.

18. What afternoon activities does your character do? Do they just do the one mandatory one or are they involved in multiple? Why?

Pearl both volunteers at a nursing home, and does dance. Dance is the closest thing she has to cheer, and she generally specializes in contemporary, while she both genuinely enjoys community service and believes that it will help her college applications. 

19. Do they miss their home when they’re at Broadripple? Do they often go home for the weekends or do they only go home during holiday breaks?

Pearl stays in frequent contact with her family through weekly videochats with her parents, but in order to save on money, she is only able to go back to South Carolina during long breaks, something that still doesn’t exactly sit well with he. 

20. Did your character know Izzy De Santis or Maggie Monroe?

Pearl generally has no idea who Izzy is other than that crazy dude who punched someone, but as Maggie was in her batch, she can’t hep but feel a bit uncomfortable about the entire situation. Not that she liked Maggie - Pearl loved God, too, but Maggie seemed a little off to her, but the fact that she’s just up and gone means something must have gone wrong.

21. Has your character heard of Edith Lynch? Do they know the story?

Pearl has heard murmurs about incidents going on, but she hasn’t bothered to read up on any of the details surrounding it, so she has little to no idea about the specifics of the Edith Lynch incident.

22. How does your character feel about Nighmore? Have they noticed the recently closed shops yet?

Call her judgey, but Pearl doesn’t like Nighmore. The people are too nice, especially in the wake of the things that have been going down. Pearl has felt this way for some time, though, and besides briefly noting that there seem to be less places to hang out in Nighmore, she hasn’t put too much thought into it, mainly filtering it into a list of all the other reasons Nighmore gives her the heebie jeebies. 

23. Have you made any aesthetic Pinterest boards/WeHeartIt collections for this character? Or playlists? Anything you would like to share!

I may add stuff here, but for now, no!

[moonbokrk]

Date: 14th June 2019 Location: Seoul Arts High School, Jogno-gu Song used: Octagon by Outsider ft 2TAK, Kuan, Tymee and Bewhy (01:45-02:45) tw: mentions of religion

                                                ~Strongest Skill - RAPPING~

Much to his annoyance, Moonbok has run into the same problem as he did last year, getting his rap audition to meet the 1 minute time goal. Oftentimes, raps in songs sound much longer but when you look at the duration they’re, at most, about 45 seconds. And Moonbok doesn’t want to do anything to risk his chances of making it past the first round.

At least this year, he’d been researching raps far more thoroughly instead of sticking to his favourite artists and panicking because of the length and content. And while he had eventually chosen a song penned by Outsider, it wasn’t his idol’s part he’d chosen to audition with, but Tymee and Bewhy’s raps instead. Like with Cheetah’s Coma 07 from the year before, the lyrics had stood out to him, and he hopes he’s be able to better hold his nerve this time around.

“Jang Moonbok.”

Upon hearing his name, Moonbok calls out an acknowledgment and stands from his seat, pocketing his phone and swapping nods with the other rappers who were sitting around waiting. Once again, he finds himself in a room facing a panel of judges Though this time the intimidation was not there, which meant he had no reason to put on a show of fake bravado for the cameras. Instead, it with an easy smile that he bows to the judges and introduces himself.

“Good morning, my name is Jang Moonbok. Today I’ll be performing Outsiders’ Octagon, specifically Tymee and Bewhy’s raps. I hope you’ll enjoy.”

Once he’s given a nod, he hands over his phone to allow it to be connected to the sound system in the room. Admittedly, he could have performed without a backing track, but Moonbok finds it easier to rap alongside music. It helps him keep in time, not letting him rush ahead or slow down too much. Bouncing on his heels a little, he lets out a breath, his expression fading from a smile into a more determined one.

He won’t make a show of himself like he did last year.

From the second the music begins, he’s off. This is a far faster paced song than Coma 07 or Before the Dawn and Moonbok is glad to show off the fact that he can rap quickly without turning into the verbal equivalent of a keysmash.

Ready, go The fool* is scared to death (expletive edited for audition) Slapping me on my back when I turn around, If you tackle me, I can probably knock you down Looking like a hobo who lost everything Acting like as if you got so much power

There is one reason why he never retaliates to Jiwon’s tormenting of him, besides the vain hope that the other will just get bored because of a lack of reaction from him. It’s because Moonbok knows that, if he truly wanted to, he could beat Jiwon’s ass from one end of the SNU’s music department to the other. He was a graduate from the military, he knows how to handle himself in a violent confrontation, while Jiwon hadn’t even made the moves to be enlisted yet. But Moonbok will never fight back, he won’t sink to the other’s level.

Soul of lies, you said you're calm? Ain't got no swag in reality You've got a long way to go, look at him surrendering already You lost this game the moment you were born

Instead, he hopes this particular segment is shown on television, that Jiwon sees it and realizes that Moonbok might endure his insults and punches, but he’s no longer cowed by him anymore. That he’s not that shy nerdy senior who cried his eyes out on national television at least three times.

This is his warning.

There's no such thing as win-win at the top of this ring Little kid rubbing his chest Hey loser, if you can't go crazy like me, hit the GG and get the heck out of here Before I smack-down you, I won't give up I'll give you a piece of advice, so listen up

Moonbok's not going to lie, he's not sure how much he's matured since his elimination last year. He'd thought he'd come a long way, but Chaewon and Yena's criticisms of his self-written rap had brought him back to earth with a bang. And while he still believed in the words he'd written; they were born from the trauma and guilt he still carried with him, Moonbok can appreciate why Yena said the thing she'd said about it, why Chaewon had laughed her ass off when she'd seen the title.

Moonbok wishes he could go back in time to the year before, to confront his younger self and shake some sense into him. To tell him it's alright to be nervous and uncertain, that acting like he's debut ready is a recipe for disaster. But he can't. All he can do is try to learn from it. And as much as it had hurt, he wouldn't be the person he is today had he not gone through it all. And it's the memories of that time that push him on, even though he's second guessed himself so much, even when he'd half considered not showing up to the auditions at all.

Last year, he'd wanted to prove he was the best, prove to his parents that he was right in pursuing his dream. Now he just wants to prove to himself that despite his flaws, he's still worthy of standing on a stage, even if it doesn't lead to the outcome he wants. It's still this fact that he has trouble accepting, but hopefully someday, he'll come to terms with it.

It's pretty obvious who's the winner between us two, who is next Cut it out already if you don't want to die

He’s not the same Moonbok from last year. He won’t let his insecurities plague him, nor will he let himself be carried away by delusions of grandeur.

I'm J to the M V O K* (Edited to replace bewhy’s name) My weight on the top of this track is completely different from yours So heavy, I am sexy S.T You're running from your life when you see me, return of the David This will be a nightmare for a Goliath like you who only cares about his physique Failure is forever yours

It feels a little conceited to use his stage name in play of bewhy's, but as far as Moonbok is concerned, he's not on the other rapper's level yet, not even close. So he doesn't dare try to use bewhy's name. And as much as he doesn't want to think it, this also feels like a diss against him, reminding him that he's still not the rapper he wants to be. But unlike last year, where he'd been so absorbed in Cheetah's similar lyrics that he'd almost became overwhelmed, it only strengthens Moonbok's resolve to push himself harder. Because surely, one day, he'll be in a place to deserve to write raps praising himself and his growth.

Failure might be forever his right now, but only if he lets himself believe in those words and gives into the pressure from his uncle and walks away. As long as he keeps trying, keeps writing, keeps going to auditions, he'll surely succeed one day. And his uncle will have failed in his efforts to control the image he had of their family name.

He's definitely not sexy though, he's always be a failure in that regard, no matter what some netizens and others might say. In fact, at that particular line, Moonbok fees himself flush and hopes his expression is as serious and as calm as when he started. Him, all of 160cm and a baby face, sexy?! Dream on.

I don't have such thing as a coach, just my god and my way Only the lord will act as my director The residents of I-town have started partying already even though the game hasn't started yet That's because my victory is obvious

Moonbok is not one to be obnoxious about his religion, believing it's not his place to pester people about it one way or the other. But he won't deny that role it's played in his life, or how much it means to him. His faith has been a source of comfort through the hard times, given him inspiration when he needed it and it's been a stepping stone for the start of his musical journey thanks to his church's choir.

He prays now even as he raps that God will give him the strength and courage he needs. That He'll watch over Moonbok and guide him to his destiny, no matter what path it takes. That by the end of his time on the MGAs, no matter how long it may be, that Moonbok will have given his family and friends a reason to celebrate his growth.

The audience you called, the judge inside and outside of the octagon are all your side But, don't play so nasty like that No need to state the obvious, I'm the champion

Once again, he knows that he's at the mercy of the judges and netizens, and of Mnet who'll probably use their evil editing to his disadvantage again. The memories of him being compared to Hojung based on their looks alone, of the focus Mnet had given to his breakdown in the training room and the errors he made on stage make him burn with the injustice of it all. He knows it's effecting him, he can hear it in the way his voice changed to become louder and more forceful as he comes to the end of the rap. But he's not crying this time, not letting his emotions control him. No, he's channeling them into his performance, letting everyone know that even if Mnet play nasty once more and even if he's ripped to shreds by the judges again, he'll become a champion.

The music fades and Moonbok takes a deep breath in, throat dry and suddenly desperate for a bottle of water. But he feels content that how his audition has gone, he kept control of himself this time, there's no tears in his eyes, his breathlessness is not from the emotional overload. Just a feeling that, hopefully, he's proved himself. His serious expression once more fades into a smile and he bows to the judges before him again.

"Thank you for listening to me. I hope you liked my performance."

When he gets the signal to be dismissed, Moonbok heads back into the corridor and slumps a little in the seat he'd been occupying beforehand, gulping down his water as fast as he could without choking. Moonbok watches the next auditionee enter the room before he gets back to his feet and heads towards the interview venue.

[Word Count without lyrics, 1,516] Translation credit: x Hangul lyrics: x

[comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog]

Leopold “Butters” Stotch

hi! i think i’ve worked out that i’ve reached the activity limit with my overall replies & discord rp-ing (16 replies overall) but, if not, I’m happy to leave this in your inbox until it’s ready x

out of character info

Name/Alias: Grace Pronouns: She/Her Age: 23 Join Our Discord: Yes – already in x Timezone: GMT Activity: 8 Triggers: N/A Password: Jimmy can fast pass my ass Character that you’re applying for: Leopold “Butters” Stotch Favourite ships for your character: Butters/Kenny, Butters/Eric, Butters/Chemistry

in character info (heavy trigger warning for parental abuse and neglect throughout !!)

Full name: Leopold “Butters” Stotch Birthday: 11th September 2000 Sexuality, gender, pronouns: bisexual, male, he/him  Age and grade: 17, senior.

Appearance: 

Butters is cursed with eternal baby-face: chubby cheeks and big blue eyes. Even his hair is as soft and fluffy as the day he was born, with his parents making sure that he never deviates from his short-back-and-sides style by cutting it themselves every Sunday evening. That’s not the only thing that hasn’t changed; his clothing style is as sweet and standard as his middle school days – boot-cut jeans, comfortable sneakers and the teal fleece his mom bought for his 15th birthday (he’s barely grown, since). Sometimes, Butters will experiment with a graphic-tee, his favourite being his array of Hello Kitty Island Adventure merchandise, or bright coloured polo. 

Butters stands at just under average height and just over average weight, with a cute bit of chub on his belly that he doesn’t think will ever go (he’s banned from visiting the gym after his dad’s bathhouse escapades). One time, his mom threatened to fatten him up so much that he’d never be able to leave, and he’s never been able to budge the extra weight, since. He doesn’t mind, though: he’s as body positive as can be, and thinks that anyone who don’t think he’s handsome ain’t looking hard enough.

Personality: 

Butters is a mess, frankly, though he thinks he’s just an ordinary fella living life as anyone should: by being kind and helping others. He’s dangerously gullible and painstakingly naïve, with a generous soul even after everything he’s been through. He just wants to do right by the world, especially his friends. He has a strong sense of justice, though this can be easily manipulated to the point where he’ll believe that what’s wrong is right and what’s right is wrong. Despite often being misguided, he’ll stick by his guns and stay true to himself when the time comes. He’s got better at standing up for himself as he’s got older, too, and isn’t afraid to put his foot down and say heck no if necessary. Most days, he's very confident in his own skills and self-image, but that can all change with one comment. 

His disrespect for authority is an interesting personality trait. He’ll fudge the police and tell his teachers to go suck a popsicle, but there’s two people he can’t say no to. Butters has been gaslighted his entire life, and the emotional and physical abuse he receives from his parents has led to humiliating and childlike obedience (what 18-year-old accepts being grounded for using twitter after 9pm?). When he’s caught doing wrong by his parents, all his self-confidence and cowboy-like bravado is shot to smithereens: he’s just a no good miscreant who ain’t gonna amount to nothin’, so he may as well give up on his dreams and stick to bein’ a plain ol’ nobody.

History:

Butters was born to Linda and Stephen Stotch on 11th September 2000. Ever since that fateful day, his life has been nothing but chaos and control and, though he wakes up to the sound of his own screams every night, he’s grateful for every opportunity he gets. It would be impossible to write all of his ups and downs in a couple of paragraphs, but there are two things that have really shaped Butters as a person.

One: his family. Stephen Stotch uses fear to control his son whilst his mom, Linda, is dangerously protective. Though seventeen, Butters still calls his dad ‘sir’ to his face and does what he’s told or faces severe consequences. The night that his mom asked him to stalk his father to the bathhouse changed a lot of things; he saw the internalised secrets and lies that have corrupted both of his parents and has watched them wear white-picket-fence masks in public every damn day since. He saw his dad embrace his sexuality yet treat it as a sin. He experienced his mom, breaking down, vulnerable and distressed, ready to kill her own son. Not to mention the time he was sold to Paris Hilton as a pet. Linda and Stephen Stotch are manipulative and controlling parents whose ‘love’ of their son, however much they fret over him and cover him with kisses, will never make up for the trauma instilled in him.

Two: his friends. Scrotie McBoogerballs, AWESOME-O, Good Times with Weapons, Marjorine, Casa Bonita. The list of shenanigans that Butters been apart of, and victim of, is endless. He’s been locked in a fridge, publicly shamed on television and stabbed in the eye with a shuriken, yet he still hangs out with these guys. Why? Because he was never part of the gang in kindergarten, and he’s never really had a true friend, someone who has made the effort to see what he’s been through and respect him regardless. Besides, hanging with these guys (whatever injuries and humiliation they bring to him) has given him a strength he never knew he had. He’s become a pimp, rekindled his confidence to dance, got his wiener out at school, become a best-selling novelist and, best of all, learned to say no to Eric Cartman. Not bad for a good-for-nothin’.

  Sample paragraph: (At least two paragraphs, centred around your character)

For the first time in a long time, Butter’s internal sludge pile of shame and humiliation is joined by anger. He’s so gosh darn mad that he don’t care who knows it, but no-one is gonna know it, ‘cause he got no cell, no internet, and no hope’a gettin’ outta his stupid ol’ room. It’s the same ol’ story: Eric and the fellas convinced him to get a fake ID so they could get some sorta fancy alcohol for Bebe’s party tonight. Kyle said it had to be him, ‘cause he looks the oldest, and he’s the best actor outta all of ‘em. Butters ain’t sure if that’s true, but he appreciated the compliment, and it’s a bad pal that says no to a favour, especially when the entire party rested on his hands.

He got the booze, alright. And he was nice and proud of himself, until Eric said it was the wrong one. Ain’t no one wants to drink this kindergarten crap, Eric said, we’re men now, we gotta drink whiskey. Well, Butters thinks whiskey tastes like butt, and ain’t no one wants to taste butt, ‘cept maybe Kenny. He thought the blue an’ pink bottles looked cute and bubblegum is his favourite flavour, no doubt about it, but maybe he should’a followed the plan and done what he was told. Darn it all.

He was in trouble with the guys, but at least he weren’t in trouble with his mom and dad, and that meant he’d finally be able to go to a real life party, maybe show off his dancin’ skills and eat some cheese and pineapple sticks. But then they found his fake idea when doin’ their routine search’a his room, and all hell broke loose. You ain’t goin’ anwhere today, mister, they said, you’re gonna sit right here on your tushie an’ think about the consequences of identity fraud. I’m goin’ to that party, Buttons said, puttin’ his foot down. Well, that  just about earned a slap around the noggin and a week without his cell, so he couldn’t even tell the fellas he weren’t comin’ tonight.

A knock on his window jolts him outta his angry pacing. He doesn’t want to look up, ‘cause he knows it’s probably Eric, comin’ over just to make fun of his current predicament and boast all about how much fun he’s gonna have tonight. Well Butters weren’t gonna have it, no sir-ee. He puts his hands on his hips and he gets ready to march right over there and give Eric a proper telling to, but then he sees it ain’t Eric, it’s Kenny, an’ he got a proper determined look on his face.

“We’re breaking you out,” Kenny says, an’ Butters ain’t gonna argue this time.

Headcanons: 

Butters still plays Hello Kitty Island Adventures, but he’s also a massive animal crossing fan. Any game that lets him escape his house, have some independence, and talk to (or raise) cute animals can keep him hooked for hours. Unfortunately, his mom and dad turn the internet off at 9pm and keep his phone in their bedroom at night. 

Butters keeps his sexuality a secret from his parents, and it’s no surprise why. After his mom found out about his dad’s trip to the bathhouse (subsequently attempting to murder her son) and after a gruelling (and very confusing) trip to conversion camp, Butters thought it best to hide any ‘abnormal’ feelings. Fortunately, his friends and their often open sexualities has made him feel comfortable and confident with himself, and he’s resoundingly grateful for it.

He is quietly considering his gender and what it means to be Butters. At the moment, he doesn’t think he needs to put a name to it, but it doesn’t hurt to research, and he’s ecstatic to see he isn’t the only one who doesn’t sit on one end of the binary. Though exploring the possibility of being non-binary, he’s happy to be referred to by male pronouns for now.

Butters wants to be a pre-school teacher, even after what happened to Ms. Claridge. He loves drawing and storytelling and wants to share those gifts to others, helping kids who might not be happy at home.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t think his mum will let him go as far as college without having a breakdown or threatening something real bad. Though his parents have started to treat him a little better as he’s got older, their distrust of the world around them, and of their son, has grown rapidly.

Butters works part-time at the ice cream parlour and adds something special to every sale. Most of the time he uses the wafers and chocolate chips to make little teddy bears, but his extra special treat (for people he really likes) is the unicorn uni-cone with lots of sparkles.

Butters is a wonderful artist! He loves using watercolour pencils and paint the best and though his work isn’t always the most profound (it’s usually portraits of his friends or cute animals he sees), it's always beautifully coloured and full of love.  

Anything else: thank u guys 4 the opportunity

[anicegaykid]

who dis?

#firstpost seems more daunting than it needs to be. Got myself all creative blocked up so here is a little diddy to get to know me better.. 

Are you named after anyone?

I am actually named after Jessica Wakefield from Sweet Valley High

When was the last time you cried?

tbh, I tend to flip from emotionless to SUPER emotional like 0-60. Sometimes no response, sometimes (like this afternoon) I see a beautiful pond surrounded in nature, being natural and beautiful, water sparkling in the sunshine and the tears just roll.

Do you have kids? If no, how many do you want?

No kids atm, but a couple kiddos would be nice in the near future

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

..like.. what.. ? am I just like a duplicate of me? Like am I the same person I am now and would I be friends with someone JUST like me? Or am I someone else? Who am I? Like, I enjoy spending time on my own? 

Bottom line, I like me. 

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

100%

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

eyes, smile, lips, face bone structure

What is your eye color?

blue, sometimes they get a little grey

Scary movie or happy endings?

BOTH. 

Favorite smells?

Citrus, patchouli, cut grass, peaches and strawberries

Do you have any special talents?

Talents include: fantastic with horses, very good dog mom, I can cook frozen pizzas to perfection -- if I don’t get distracted, designing queer tees, i can roll a pretty decent j, solid problem solver, got some wit and can be funny. 

Where were you born?

Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in it?

Leo; I mean it IS surprisingly accurate like all the time. 

What are your hobbies?

I am kind of in between hobbies right now.. I dabble in some things. I go to the gym like more than average, but I would like to go more - said everyone ever. I’d like to hike more, camp more, build more things out of pallets, you know.. the usual

Do you have any siblings?

I have a 21 year old brother and a 14 year old sister.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Life is pretty great tbh, I’d like to continue being happy with my little fam

Who was your first best friend?

My first best friend would have to be my cousin, Brittany. Like a sister.

How tall are you?

5′6″

What is the least favourite thing about yourself?

I wish I was a lot better at expressing how I feel. 

Things that still bother me - my wife and I had a discussion about proposals and who would ask who. We landed on me asking her, which I did and am SO happy about, but the reason behind it being that I am so poor at expressing emotions that she was afraid it would affect her confidence in my response. 

For a first TMI moment of the blog, I have so much anxiety in my ability to express myself that I can’t even manage to make any “noise” during sex. Doesn’t even matter that I am my most comfortable self with her, STILL struggle. A work in progress for me I guess. 

Funniest moment throughout School?

There was a time when we were at a beach party when I was 17, the RCMP showed up to break it up and snag any and all intoxicated minors they could. The tide had recently come in, but where we were was a little dip in the side of the cliff so the path back to the road was water-covered. So someone peeks around the cliff to see the two Mounties wading through the water. This party crew are country-folk and are 100% ready for this situation with a wooden ladder that leads up the side of the cliff into a field close to where all the vehicles are parked. As party-goers are running through the field to cars, someone shouts, “PIT PARTY” and everyone heads towards the local Pit. Along the way someone with a truck steals a round bale from a field and uses it to create the BIGGEST bonfire I’ve ever seen. 

How many countries have you visited?

like ~10

What was your favourite/worst subject in High School?

I struggled with math but funny enough my career path has led me to a life in the casino so I do math daily and enjoy it very much!

My favourite courses in High School were Conservation and Agricultural Science. 

What is your Favourite drink? Animal? Perfume?

Coke Zero Cherry

Horse

Karma by Lush

What would you (or have you) name your children?

I really like Posy, Daisy, Freddie and Loren

What Sports do you play/Have you played?

I used to Figure Skate, Horseback Ride, Ringette

Who are some of your favourite YouTubers?

I’ve always been a Grace Helbig, Mamrie Hart, Hannah Hart fan

I like Phil DeFranco for news, Pewds for some lulz, love me some Tyler Oakley, Whitney Simmons and Chloe Ting to work the booty, Vox for learning, FunForLouis has some BEAUTIFUL imagery and plays to the traveler side of me and I recently discovered Will Smith’s channel and cannot get enough!

How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had?

I have had an unsettling amount of bfs for a lesbian, but 2 of them really stand out as being genuinely decent guys and I would still hang out with, platonically, to this day.

I have had a grand total of 4 gfs, I married the fourth bc I got LUCKY AS HECK!

Favourite memory from childhood?

The day I got my first puppy.

One time I was gifted a horse for Christmas bc my Dad felt so bad that I had to have my first pony put down earlier that year. 

I also was old enough to remember both my siblings being born!

How would you describe your fashion sense?

tom boy hyper femme 

What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)

iPhone6s

Tell us one of your bad habits!

I bite my nails and chew my cuticles

3 things that upset you?

inequality

excessive force

did I say inequality?

3 things that make you happy?

Olivia

My animals

family

How is your relationship with parents?

My Mom is one of my best friends in this world! My Dad is an odd case, he struggles with my sexuality, I understand that it is because of where and when he grew up, he is never outwardly rude or mean to me, he’s a quiet country guy, he was at our wedding, he gave me away with my Mom, he’s kind to Olivia, he’s kind to me, he doesn’t understand but recognizes that it is real. I love my Dad, I really do. I’m proud of my Mom for educating him and ensuring that he is present and polite. I get frustrated from time to time and I have cried a lot of tears about it. Our relationship can be strange but at the same time hasn’t changed. He’s been a great Dad and he’ll be a fantastic Grampy. I have to check myself because there are people who are much worse off than me. I get jealous of Olivia sometimes because her Dad is so sweet to her and treats me like a daughter so easily, but my Dad has never been the soft spoken lovey type. We’ve hugged twice in my life. One of them was when I was leaving for England with a one way ticket and no foreseeable return plans and one was when he was jokingly blocking my path and I used it as a disarming mechanism to scoot through. 

What’s on your mind?

All I can think about today is the fact that I became an aunt at 5AM this morning and I’m going to see his later this afternoon. I SO excited!

What’s your talent?

troubleshooting queen.

naturally creative to my own surprise.

One word that describes you?

patient

What’s your favourite quotes?

No Pride for some of us without liberation for all of us . Marsha P Johnson

We way too fly to partake in all this hate, we out here vibin’ . Ariana Grande

Any pets?

4 dogs:

Finnley - Great PyreneesXAustralian Shepard

Effie - Border CollieX

Shiro - DacshundXMiniature Australian Shepard

Moose - Great PyreneesXFinnley

2 Cats:

Priya - long haired tabby, kinda sorta Ragdoll’esque

Punkin - short haired orange tabby with a poofy tail

2 Beta Fishies:

King Push & Todd

What is the farthest you’ve been from home?

I lived in England for 2 years & travelled Europe for a month

Are you an extrovert or introvert?

I think TECHNICALLY an introvert?  I can be v extroverted but I really need time to recharge. Recharging for me is being home with my comforts. My wifey, doggos, snacks and Netflix.

Are you left or right handed?

Right hander

Do you consider yourself a good cook?

Like.. sort of? I don’t cook much but when I do I always surprise myself with how well I do lol

Does your name have a special meaning?

It means my Mother was 18 when she had me and REALLY liked Sweet Valley High

If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday?

2 weeks away from home/work, road trip to Halifax for the fertility clinic, get started on a baby and then fly off to one of those tropical cabins on the water. 

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I would love to have a few homes! A winter getaway BC. A condo in Halifax, NS and a cute little hobby farm here in PEI in some rolling hills somewhere in between Kensington and Charlottetown. 

What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast?

I love chocolate chip waffles/pancakes, French style pastry breakfast, and when I’m feeling fab, some eggs benny on smoked salmon with a couple mimosas on the side. 

What’s your favourite gadget?

I just got a Fitbit so thats been pretty exciting, aside from that, my phone is on me at like all times. 

What’s your longest relationship so far?

My current one. We’re about to hit 4 years together, married for a little over a month. 

[pebblysand]

On Children.

Last night, when I posted this - the last 15,000 of a 103,087 words journey - I promised myself I’d talk about it - write about it - later. After I’d slept, after I’d been to work, after I’d processed the thoughts in my head.

I barely slept. Shut the lights out at midnight, woke up at two, then at five and stayed awake after that. I’m usually a heavy sleeper. I think it was the adrenaline.

Today, I spent more time on tumblr and my personal email, anxiously refreshing pages for reviews and comments, than on actual work. I’ll admit it’s insecure and weak on my part, but I guess I am of a generation that is in constant need of validation.

I haven’t felt this happy and excited in a long time but let’s be real, I still haven’t processed shit. Who was I kidding? Maybe, it will help to write this out. I guess I am a writer, after all.

I write that (I’m a writer), and think that’s a weird word, all things considered. It refers to a profession but I’m not a professional, and it is still what I do - like to do - with the spare time that I have. You see, sometimes, I have ideas about things that could happen to people who aren’t real and when that happens, I type them out on a laptop and share them with strangers on the internet. It’s a bit of weird hobby, admittedly, but I like it. I’m okay at it. Sometimes, the thought even crosses my mind that I might be good. It mostly happens when I write things like this:

When she thinks about him, she thinks about them and all she sees is children. A boy and a girl and her pale skin against his cheek, pulling at each other’s hair, laughing, loud, like Nick and Niamh on court benches, school benches, and the autumn leaves scattered around their feet.

Or this:

It’s not homesickness, she thinks, it’s just moving on.

I look at those three sentences and I think (because yeah, let’s dive in, shall we? that’s enough of an introduction) that ultimately, this is what all this was about. Those 103,087 words. This fanfiction, as it is refered to, is called Children not because Martha gets pregnant at the end, but because it’s a coming of age story. A coming of age story that involves a couple of forty-somethings who have spent so much time over the last fifteen years working and helping other people grow that they’ve forgot to do it themselves. This fic is as much about the concept of home and career choices and Sean, than it is about Martha and Clive. And sure, it’s about me, too. Because let’s be real, maybe I was going through a bit of a similar thing, at the time I started writing this, and maybe I did Mary-Sue the heck out of it. Who knows?

What I do know, though, is that I love this story. So much. It feels important, and cool, and smart, and funny and the kind of tale that I like to tell. I also know that although I won’t bore you with the details, I wasn’t in great place, this time last year, when I started writing it. Thankfully, I am in a much, much better place now. I frankly thank Peter Moffat, Silk, and Martha and Clive for that. I think this story gave me room to grow, and focus, and believe in myself more than I ever had before. When I started writing it, it was a 10,000 words one-shot that involved Clive breaking into Martha’s flat through the window and a very early version of that last scene in chapter vii. It was cool, too, but not the story I needed to tell.

Then, chapter i came. Chapter i is crap, I know that. I made it a bit less crap by editing it sometime after I posted chapter ii but really, not by much. In its defense, it was written at a time when a) I hadn’t written a word in three years and b) I had no idea what this would all become. I think that when I first published it, I still thought the fic was going to be fifteen to twenty thousand words, two or three chapters at most.

For a very long time, I was terrified of not finishing this fic, actually. I had a lot of comments about that - understandable considering the sad amount of abandoned works on the Silk fandom - and it just made me more anxious very time. That fear did start to go away over time, but surprisingly late, probably around when I was writing chapter ix. Still, I think I still had remnants of that panic up until I actually wrote the words the end at 3 a.m. last Friday. It felt almost surprising that I had, indeed, finished. All the long projects that I’d started before, I’d abandoned, or gotten tired of. At the time, I held it against myself, but coming back to my earlier point, I’ve now realised that they just weren’t my story to tell.

Then, chapter ii came. I like chapter ii. It’s not perfect and would need to be worked on in a future edit, but I like its plot. I like what it says about the show, about Martha as a character and how she breaks down, how we all do, sometimes. It also says something about what often happens to women, sadly, when they do. 

I think this show is important and matters because to me, it talks about something that happens all the time in the legal world and that no show ever touches on. We show the courtrooms and the decorums and the ships, but not happens behind the scenes. Not what I’ve seen. The truth is that when you spend all your waking hours fighting other people’s fights, sometimes, you lose yourself. You breakdown. You burn-out. It’s sort of a premonition but Clive warns Martha about it in the first series, jokingly, sure, but he turns out to be right. That’s what I see in the last episode of series three. As much as I hated the whole courtroom and Micky Joy debacle there, I loved that storyline. I love that she just fucks off. That my ultimate head canon is that she moves to a beach somewhere and opens a café on the coast, pours expressos and chats up tourists all day. Maybe, there, she meets someone. Maybe, she even has a family. But in my head, Children is and always will be a very long AU.

In that AU, of course, she has to stay. And that’s what chapter ii is about, ultimately, about staying when you don’t want to, breaking down and dealing with the consequences. When you’re a woman and you fuck up a bit, the price to pay is sometimes, sadly, very high. So, I tried to show that to the best of my ability. I hope I did a decent job of it. Frankly, I’m not quite sure about how I dealt with the aftermath. I think if I went back and edited, I would probably allow the assault to be more of a recurrent theme in the following chapters. I sometimes wonder if I didn’t deal with it a bit too quickly. But then again, I guess every survivor is different, and there was also a lot to talk about in those next chapters, with Billy and Clive, and Chambers, so I’ll cut myself some slack.

Chapter iii is to me the moment when this fic found its tone and its voice. When Martha and Clive found their voices in my head, too. It was a very difficult chapter to write, I remember, but I think that’s when the fic went from being an extended one-shot to a full blown story, with a plot and character development, and thousands of words, and eleven chapters. That scene at Billy’s grave is one of my favourites.

The one that follows, chapter iv, wrote itself. I barely touched it. I love chapter iv. It’s funny and quirky, and everything I loved about writing those characters I was lucky enough to be able to borrow. I was very insecure about the explicit sex scene in it, but then I felt like that scene was necessary. Again, I didn’t want the only sex in this to be non-consensual. Most often, sex is pleasurable and fun, thank God.

I think when I look back, chapter v is the most personal of them all. Chapter v is what I meant when I said that this fic was about me. Jokes aside, I remember being very nervous about it, wondering if I wasn’t turning a wonderful fic into a horrible, Mary-Sue-d attempt at a diary of my own problems. But then, well, it’s also fiction. My fiction. Because in chapter v, aside from Martha and Bethany’s very short stint, all of the characters are OCs. There’s Martha’s mum (Maureen), and Jo, and Evershed, and Roy. Boy, do I love Roy. Roy is the amalgamation of every man every sixty-something woman in my life has remarried to. He’s not a bad person, he’s just very, very out of tune with current times. Evershed, I don’t have many feelings about. Martha just needed a sounding board. Martha’s mum was probably the hardest to write. She loves her, I think, but I also think they’re very different people. I think they’re linked by what happened to her dad and that sometimes, that gets a bit heavy. And Jo. God, I love Jo. She makes me laugh and sometimes, I wish she was my friend, too.

Again, I was nervous about chapter v and my characters, wondering if people would like them, would like what they said about Martha, about the concept of home, until someone said: "It's like you're writing my life and all the feelings I've had about home and the bar and superimposed Martha Costello on top". I think that’s one of the best comments I’ve ever had on anything I’ve ever written. So, I’m not naming you, you know who you are, and thank you.

Chapter vi was originally very, very long and was then split into vi and vii for readability purposes (I will split xi too, one day, I promise). Yet, in my head, they will always be paired up. 

As I’ve mentioned before, the contents of chapter vii, and especially that last scene with Clive when they decide to “try again”, had been in my head ever since I’d started writing this fic. It was always where this story was going to go and when I published it, it felt good to finally release that, to have it out in the world that yeah, this was going to be that kind of fic, with an argumentative, blond, blue-eyed baby being born the end. Although these two are probably the most important chapters in this fic, I oddly don’t have much to say about them. I guess everything is pretty spelled out in there. Clive and Martha are in love. And they’re going to try for a baby. When I split both chapters, I took the opportunity to put back into chapter vii a bit that I’d taken out in the original editing phase. It’s a scene in which Clive and Martha talk about her father’s disease and she mentions that she took a test, once upon a time (i.e. when she got pregnant), to know if she had it, but never read the results. It’s a letter in her handbag that she doesn’t want to open, but that he wants to read. I think more than the topic itself, it shows how much they love each other, and yet how different they are. Martha got to know about Billy’s health when, in fairness, I don’t think she ever wanted to know. I think she’s the kind of person who only likes to know about things she can deal with or solve. If not, she wants to know late enough so that she won’t have to think about it too much. She’s the kind of person who wouldn’t want to know if she had cancer. Clive does, though. He would have liked to know about Billy; I think it hurt him not to. He would have liked to be prepared.

In my canon, Clive reads that letter and never tells her what was in it. He vouches to keep it to himself, and he does. He likes that he knows, respects her decision not to. He would tell her, if she asked, but she never does. As the writer of this story, I personally don’t know what was on that letter, either. I’ve gone back and forth on it a few times and I really don’t know if she has it. She definitely thinks she does. I think that’s kind of where the smoking comes from. I think she sort of hopes it will kill her before she forgets that it will.

I kind of wish I had found a way to use all of that in later chapters but somehow, after that one, it just didn’t fit within the plot. Maybe it will upon further edits. I don’t know.

Now, chapter viii is cute. Like iv. Still, I wanted it to be mostly about her career and going back to work, rather than about her getting pregnant. I hope that it was. Chapter viii is also where the character of Charlotte makes her entrance and I really like her, I like that she both fits in (through her education, her parents) and doesn’t (through how odd and quirky she is). I think if Martha were to ever go back to work after everything that happened, it would be for someone like that. I like that she’s not Billy, too.

And of course, then, Martha gets pregnant, when she leasts expects it. Because, she had to. As a side note, I love the scene where she "tells" Billy. It feels like a full circle to me.

Circles are not necessarily good, though, are they? ix, oh ix. That, also, unfortunately had to happen. I think Martha and Clive had been very nicely playing house for a while but it just couldn’t go on forever. Mostly, I had to deal with Sean, though. Because Sean, oh, Sean, do I love Sean. Again, this fic, frankly, is almost as much about him and about what he represents (young love, home) than it is about Clive and what he represents. When I wrote chapter iii, I thought I was done with him but then again, when I wrote chapter iii, I didn’t know there would be nine chapters, did I? So, Martha, she couldn’t let go, could she? She had to close that door in order to open another one.  

ix was so hard to write. Mostly because I’m terrible at writing arguments. I had turn it all around for it to make more sense but I feel that somehow, it more or less worked. I guess, you tell me, though.

(As a side note, I kind of like CW’s role in it. She’s not a friend, but she’s not a stranger either. I think that ultimately, she kind of cares about Martha, for some reason. And I love that conversation between Martha and her mum at the end, almost teared up when I wrote it. Again, part of moving on and growing up.)

And then, comes x. It’s a bit of a filler, I’ll admit. A 10,000 words filler. I couldn’t see Clive and her get back together that easily, so things needed to happen in between. I decided those things were court scenes. I was so nervous about those. I’ll be honest and say I have no fucking clue about the UK’s appeals process and probably got it all wrong. I guess that’s the difference between me back when I was still in law school and me now. At the time, I would have done the research. Now, I just don’t care, as long as the drama’s good. If you’re from the UK and thought it was all wrong, my most sincere apologies.

Finally. xi. As I said in my A/N yesterday, there was supposed to be a xii, until two evenings ago, when I realized that there wasn’t. In fairness, I think I’d suspected it for a while. In my head, I’d always thought of xii as some sort of epilogue, with a mix of cute pregnant-Martha scenes and a bunch of more serious ones (the baby’s name, Clive’s priorities shifting). Then, at 3 a.m. on Friday, I understood that a bunch of scenes stuck together do not necessarily make for a coherent chapter. And that I hate epilogues anyway. Finish your bloody story and stick with it, I say. So, the important stuff made it into xi (Clive’s priorities shifting, the baby’s name) and the rest just went to trash. I’m happy with that. In an earlier draft of an outline for xii, I also had a scene about CW prosecuting Brown Hair in an assault case on someone else, but that felt a bit cheap and would have kind of taken away the point I wanted to make with ii, the fact that most of the time, sadly, there is no resolution to these things. So, yeah, I’m happy I didn’t write that in.

I guess I don’t know what I thought would happen when I wrote the words the end after of all this. I think I thought fireworks would be in order, and champagne. Instead, I was alone in my flat on a Friday night, drinking beer and thinking holy shit. I didn’t cry - still haven’t - but I’m not sure all of this has really sunk in, yet, so.

So, what does this all mean? Well, it means that I’ve written a story and finished it. Not a novel, sure, but a story nonetheless, with some characters that were mine and some that I borrowed and it had a beginning, a middle and an end. That feels great. Amazing, in fact, like the top of the world. And yes, in a few years, months maybe, even, I’ll probably look back at this post and think I was full of shit and full of myself. Right now, though, it feels good. I’ve motherfucking done this, you know?

And I acknowledge the fact that there’s still a lot of work to do. Because everything I’ve mentioned I want to make better, want to rewrite (like chapter i, ugh), I’ll do. I’ll let the fic sit, for a while, but I’ve planned to go back to it in a few months (August or September, give or take) and edit. Because frankly, although I love this story to bits, I also know it has flaws. For better or for worse, I’m a perfectionist at heart, so I want to make it the best it can be. That being said, I am very proud of this, nonetheless.

So, yeah, if you’re interested, maybe click again and go back to reading Children this time next year, it’ll probably have changed a bit. If not, that’s alright, please, just don’t hold chapter i against me.

Lastly, again, I’d like to repeat my thanks. To @missmarthacostello for early-fic chats. To @asummerevening for later-fic chats. To everyone who’s read, commented and PM-ed me over the last months and to everyone who will hopefully read and comment and message me in the future. I owe you many. Again, if you have prompts, requests, feel free to PM me, I’m happy to try my best. And lastly, again, thanks to the wonderful @cursedandcharmed without whom, honestly, this would not have seen the light of day. As I said in my A/N, you listened to me rant for a year about something you were not reading and that took place within the universe of a show you were not watching. I can’t thank you enough for that.

So, there. I hope this was somewhat coherent. I honestly tried, to the best of my ability. This fic has taken up so many weekends and hours of my life these past few months that I am unsure as to what comes next, and what one does with so much time on their hands. Again, though, I’ll probably look back at this in a bit and think I was full of shit, so, there’s that.

Thanks again and whoever you are, if you’ve stuck around this long, you have all my love and admiration.

Best,

pebblysand.

[astrofireworks]

cha eunwoo | astro

An introduction to Astro, lights of our lives, for new Arohas!

(done with @rockoaroundthechristmastree, @rockytheastroid​, @astrofireworks​, @jinwoosmile, @ongbins and @jakganim)

masterlist 

Born 30 March 1997

Gunpo child

How to recognise Eunwoo: look for a literal angel there you go there he is

Literally looks the same in all his eras bc he looks good with dark hair and fantagio Knows it

^ At time of writing anyway; he just came out with light brown hair for dream pt. 02′s jacket and everyone is fucKIN SHOOKT

Fuckin unreal smdh

Baby: light blue car

Visual 3/6

@jakganim (in a fic LOL but it was FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY PUNY LIL HEART) said once that Eunwoo’s as beautiful outside as he is on the inside and honestly i’ve never heard a sentence that describes eunwoo so perfectly 

in short, a heart as radiant and beautiful as he appears????

Researches everything bc he’s a diligent and worried bub

Whatever shows he goes on???? He researches them 

researched every single person going on law of the jungle and also researched what the climate was going to be like and how to build different things 

researched the MCs he was going on with when he went on Happy Together 3 and got exposed they read his unfiltered notes out loud in detail he got so shy ajsdfhlaskjd

researched everyone in crime scene 3 because he didn’t want to make a fool of himself 

got so nervous about variety show training programme bc they didn’t let him know who was going to be on the show with him so he couldn’t research them

puts so much effort into things what the fuck ! 

Real Name: Lee Dong Min 

Nickname: Buttmin (Lee Dongmin: 이동민) where second letter 동 sounds similar to the second letter in butt (엉덩이) because he thought he had a big butt asjdhlfakjsd

he can spell his name with his butt thanks variety show training

Actor 

Was MJ in The Best Hit/Hit the Top (and the members made jokes about it)

had a thing with the members where they’d call him Fake MJ 

Starred in their webdrama To Be Continued as the “lead” but not really (cries forever)

Was part of a miniseries called “Replies that Make us Flutter” where they took send-in answers for topics and incorporated them into short drama episodes. 

Bin starred in one with him as well. He tried to be a bad boy that hated Eunwoo. It was not convincing.

Won Male CF Star at the MTN Broadcast CF Festival

He’s currently in Revenge Note as the “leader” of Astro, it’s weird

#SmartBoi

goes to Sungkyungkwan uni, prestigious uni in SK

was also the top 3rd student in his school AND was student body president in middle school i’m truly weeping

Introduced on a few shows with the hashtag #차파고 (Cha-pha Go, a spin on Alpha Go) because he’s so damn diligent and detailed 

Also went on 1 v 100 with bin and mj but he got into the finals/semi-finals WOW WE STAN BRAINS AND BEAUTY 

Knows japanese and chinese and is nearly fluent in english bless his heart

Also speaks Chinese because his younger brother studies in China

DONGHWIIIIIIIIIIIII

Cute as fuck during new year’s when the rest of astro were in the fantz celebrating new year’s he went home to visit his brother bc he came back from china so he video called into vapp

I need to stop saying fantz someone shoot me i started ironically and now i can’t stop

Once upon a time was in the jungle with Yuri, apparently picked up aegyo there

Gets made fun of all the time by astro for the aegyo asjdfkhlskjd they make him sing the aegyo song literally every time 

And they annoy him by singing it too

Always gets iconic lines / killing parts in songs 

내꺼할래 !! (wanna be mine?)

같이 갈래? (let’s go together?)

Iconic line in polaris

Here’s a compilation you didn’t know you needed

Again made fun of by astro for doing the 같이 갈래

That one astro play where he’s just talking and then lil bitches sanha and jinjin pop up behind him and go 같이 갈래!!! and he just looks so done

The centre of all of Astro’s arm symbol formations 

Makes sure that you know who he is (bc he’s cHa-A e-EUN Wu-UU *thumps chest*) 

This ALSO gets mimicked by the other members, and poor boy tried to chug a soda and do this as well but ended up burping on camera as a result ;v;

Also the stiffest dancer my poor son

Got sent on some programme for idols who can’t dance it was Hilarious

But he also put so much effort into it i’m rly crying he made sure to get help from rocko in dancing the choreography right ;;;;

And he’s improved so much i’m !!!!!! so proud he puts in so much effort and he works so hard and he practices so much fuck i’m emo 

Literally ??? is perfect whatever he says his bad sides are are actually good points smdh 

Was asked once if there was anything he couldn’t do, to which he replied that he wasn’t good at relationships and the MC replied that wtf it just made him more attractive

farewell i am on the floor crying 

oh right okay yes one bad side:

MINIONS 

Smdh he loves them so much

The glasses he wore in the cicada video

that one video of them playing with the minion helicopter

that MINION HAT

160108 DDOCA when they’re playing with the minion blanket and jinjin opens it up and promptly looks horrified  

What the hell is this

European Bagel: once said he was eating an ‘european bagel’ on ok!ready episode 1 if anyone knows what that means pls let us know

He gets anxious about being a burden to astro

Talked about it in Astro Project watch at your own risk I cried

Listen he does so much he juggles acting and photoshoots for CFs and astro promotions he’s constantly trying to improve himself he’s never a burden and if there's one member in all of astro i want to hug and just !! tell him he's okay and that everything will be okay and tell him that he’s perfect and that he’s enough and deserves love it’d be Eunwoo for me ;;;;;;;;

Also Eunwoo: (sits quietly) / 5stro: let’s fuck with him

was playing with the ducks when jinjin and sanha come up behind him and screamed lmao he nearly fell on his face

A compilation or two… or three of Eunwoo being bothered by the other members lolol

Once Jinjin had to pull a secret camera on him and tell him that Astro accidentally broke a camera and without hesitating he offered to pay the full 1.5k$ that camera was worth adsfjkasd what a pure gullible bean ;A;

ICONIC BASEBALL DDOCA THAT SLAYED ALL THE BINU STANS THERE EVER WERE i’m writing this from the grave

Cutest whine? He goes like aaAAa or something like that idk but he does it when he gets annoyed it’s the cutest thing ;;;;;

Literally the (^▽^) face

Mouth opens up into a really wide triangle, width depends on how embarrassed he gets

My favourite laugh in the entire universe

heck I’m so in love,,,

LOVES KIDS 

during one ASC a baby came on and asked all of astro to go to their house to play for christmas eunwoo got out of his seat right away he was 1000% ready to run out of the studio and hop on that airplane

Actually a lil bitch lmao 

“Haha u were going 2 sleep?? Nah stay up & watch me on vlive fam”

Makes fun of hyung line’s height i live for this 

After arohas missed the “MJ” during the first fanchant he joked saying “why don’t y’all just come in on ‘jinjin’ instead?” #LetMJLive2k17 also #LetArohasLive2k17

Voice like moonlight 

Need him singing??? Here

Titles his v-lives “차은우의 Just one 10 minutes” but they’re never 10 minutes they’re nearly an hour long 

His voice is just really really soothing and comforting and if you ever need something to calm you down when you’re upset or if you need a background voice for when you’re studying here he is

Singing voice has improved so so so so so so much from Spring Up, his live singing shakes me to the core

Also sang opera in ASC so really hoo boy he’s improved so much I’m so !!! :’)

Literally can we pause and take a moment to appreciate his baby photos I looked like a rat when I was younger and here he is, snatching, 

My favourite baby ever ajkdlhsfakjsdf i lovE

Did some modelling campaigns pre-debut 

Shara Shara

I bet you needed all these pictures in your life

Cute lotion video :’)

Still king of CFs he recently did a baskin robbins one (with Yoo Seung Ho)

It’s pretty funny

He’s so cute what the heck

After the whole thing, he got addicted to ice cream; he mentioned in a vlive that at some point he could just eat sandwiches and ice cream the whole day

But fantagio also probably feeds all of astro ice cream for breakfast so really,  

A Lafuma ad with Seolhyun (AOA) 

A Polham ad with Doyeon (Weki Meki)

A Ceci spread with Doyeon too!! 

A Lotte Water Park ad with Sejeong (Gugudan)

Won an award for best male CF smdh 

Wears frickin glasses and makes everyone cry 

That one DDOCA where it’s him preparing for a hit the top shooting I would like you to know that this is coming to you from the grave

Got scouted by a Fantagio recruiter when he was in middle school, then bugged into joining the fantz

He was the school president, in the top three of the entire school, wanted Seoul National University to become a judge bless his fuckin heart

Apparently rejected Fantagio the first couple times they asked, but gave in bless him thank god

Astro claimed pre-debut walking anywhere with him meant everyone doing double-takes

Re-enacted on ok!ready: sanha and mj talking in a coffeeshop then stopping and sTARING THE FUCK OUT OF EUNWOO LMAO

Literally blew up on male-dominated sites for being PRETTIER THAN THE FEMALE MCs AT SHOW!MUCORE

So pretty that Hello Venus thought he was prettier than them when starring in their video

Some weibo arohas describe him as the kind of handsome where “even if you’re already married, you’d still take a second glance at him if you passed by him on the street” ("那种虽然有老公了但是对路过的帅哥还是想多看两眼的感觉") I 10000% agree 

weibo arohas also call him "车车" car car / cha cha i'm fuckinjasdfkjdf

In case you wanted a heart attack

Labelled a “Face Genius”, but wants to be acknowledged for more than his looks

“Someone who’s more reliable than anyone else and who always gives his all to the people he treasures, who’s very hard on himself and there are times where it gets too much but because of that, he’s someone who’s detailed and earnest.” (creds to @astrotranslations)

Dony on Weekly Idol called Rowoon (SF9) a face genius once but Rowoon politely deferred and said that title belonged to Cha Eunwoo :’)

Said once in an interview that he’d take whoever he likes out to dinner, give them a necklace then confess asdjfhlaskjd a true romantic bby

Also said that he was an “FM” boyfriend (field manual) asjdhflaksjd my heart is weak don’t attack me like this

You know what, Binu gets a section to themselves smdh 

Just so you know, arohas didn’t come up with the name ‘Binu’, they came up with it (”Team Soap”) themselves 

explained it by saying 빈 (Bin) + 우 (Woo) = 비누 (Soap)

Roommates!!

Picked each other in OK!Ready and have been living in the same room ever since 

in the recent Night Night show they did Eunwoo said that if he could pick roommates again, he’d still pick Bin 

Is apparently scentless to Bin 

Smdh we all know what habituation is it’s bc he smells Eunwoo too much Eunwoo doesn’t have a specific smell anymore

Also together like 24/7 stuck to each other’s side if you’re looking for eunwoo ever just look for bin you’ll find him there

Bin claims Eunwoo is the most beautiful creature on earth tbh same 

“Is he really human? How can someone that looks like him exist?”

Eunwoo thinks Bin is the most handsome too I love supportive friendships ;u;

IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN WAKE BIN UP AMAZING

Literally though sanha and jinjin posted a twitter video of them trying to wake bin up it doesn’t work it apparently only works when eunwoo gets him to wake up 

Sleeps through sanha and jinjin prodding him but wakes up when eunwoo starts talking in a vlive

Bin said in the harper’s bazaar interview that he doesn’t wake up when the manager calls him to get up but his eyes naturally open when he hears Eunwoo sighing (creds to @astrotranslations)

Bin’s mom even sent in a concern to hello counsellor bc he wouldn’t stop sleeping and couldn’t wake up so really… eunwoo = magic?

Want more Binu? Here, here and here!

Friends with Mingyu from Seventeen

Mingyu called him once for advice on what to bring to the jungle since he too was going on law of the jungle

Said in Night Night that he gets cold really easily

Yet in OK!Ready (as pointed out by @jinwoostro) he stood outside waiting for Jinjin and Sanha to come even though he was freezing ;u; 

A sweetheart!! Who cares so much !!!! for other members!!!!!!

Listen this boy works so hard and he does so much for a 20 year old: he models, he acts, he’s learning 3 other languages for Aroha, he handles university courses AND he still keeps up with astro’s promotions I’m really crying he’s worked so hard he deserves the world

Im rly fukcing criyng i gotta sotp i love this boy, 

[takaraphoenix]

who's your favourite next generation oc that you've created and why?

SAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMY! *^*

I mean. This should not be a surprise considering he is literally the only character for whom I wrote a 70k+ words worth spin-off fic about his childhood. Like. Dude. That is lengthy for any multi-chapter story, but for a spin-off story about one OC?

It’s because I completely love Sam Raser.

Which is just… ridiculous, all things considered. I mean, when I first created him and Derek, they were literally just supposed to be bullies and something like secondary antagonists.

Heck. Even his name is the laziest kind of naming. Sam Raser is just an anagram of “Mars+Ares”, because I was out of fucks to give at the time. (Same with his half-sister Sara Mers, also just an anagram of “Mars+Ares”.)

And then the strangest thing happened and I fell for my own character.

That doesn’t happen normally. From the moment they’re born, I usually know exactly where I stand with them. What level of attachment I have to them when creating them and that level of attachment is pretty constantly the same.

Not with Sam. When I wrote that first date between Sam and Donny, it was actually supposed to end Not Well and with a good amount of antagonizing Sam and him making Donny feel like this all was just a joke.

But somehow while writing that scene, I… I started to grow attached to him in a different way.

I mean, I can be attached to villains and mean characters, sure, but this was the good-guy-attachment.

And I completely revamped the character and gave him, you know, depth. A background story.

Heck, he’s the OC with the most elaborate family in this universe.

For one, it was just… easier to fully fall in love with a character that is fundamentally mine. And while Herc, Thea, Donny, Sander and the others are also fundamentally mine, they are made up of components given by Riordan, their parents are not my creations, their powers and part of their personalities are based on those characters created by someone else. As you have it when you create next gen babies.

Sammy is mine. Sure, Ares isn’t my character but the whole rest of Sammy’s family is mine, his boyfriends are mine. I was completely free when I created him. I got to give him Irish roots because I love the Irish, I got to make him the descendant of a knight of the round table because there was no background in any canon that forbids me from it. Heck, even his looks.

OC kids of two established characters have to, of course, share features with their parents. With Sam, I could go wild.

And then I fell down the rabbit hole of his psychological trauma.

If you haven’t noticed, I don’t particularly like to make rape a theme in my stories. Yeah, I have those Beauty and the Beast-esque dub/non-con fics, but rape as a traumatic experience.

Sam and Blanche Lamour are the only characters I’ve ever written with the intentional background of having been raped.

And writing the way Sam handled the trauma - or rather didn’t handle - and ending up, in the middle of this fun next gen fic actually focusing on that trauma and on how his friends deal with learning about it, it was… an interesting experience. It was one of those things where the story hijacked me and went off-script. And I enjoyed writing it.

Half-way through “Chasing Fireflies”, I was afraid that my love for Sam had overtaken the fic and hijacked it and that Sam had more screentime than Donny.

I love Sam so much that he’s one of the OCs of mine that I re…purpose. That is to say, the fantasy novel I’ve been trying to write for years now, there’s a lot of characters in it that I originally once upon a day created as OCs for fanfictions, but Sammy was the first one in many years who managed to make it into this, because I love this character and while, obviously he will no longer be a son of Ares or demigod or in any way or shape related to the PJatO universe, I wanted my character in my universe, so I created a special role for him to include him, because he’s become that precious to me and I’ve grown that attached to him.

[seventeen-scenarios-blog]

Shit the admins say during DE in Singapore

Diamond Edge in SG was 2 weeks ago but we admins finally got ourselves together to watch our fancams/listen to the audio we recorded, and we noticed that we do say a lot of rubbish, so here’s a list of the nonsense we said during the concert!

Just a quick background: Admin Hoshit and Jihooned were sitting together and Admin Wooed and Scooped were sitting together!

Our hi-touch and Diamond Edge confessions 

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD (also setlist may not be accurate)

**please excuse our singlish

PRECONCERT

Jihooned: I’ll hold the Joshua banner cause it won’t break

Hoshit: “what if my bong runs out of batteries and i gotta change during a song lmao wouldn’t that be funny” (HAH FORESHADOWING HAH)

Jihooned: our bongs damn noisy

/Jihoon and Hoshit could not decide between their biases and so chose to buy multiple straps/ the clanking of the bong bongs can be heard all the way from VIP to cat 4

Jun sexily walks up

Scooped & Wooed: “eh who that” “idk” “can’t see leh”

“OH FK” “ITS JUN OMGGG KJDFHALKSJDFHK”

Hoshit and Jihooned: “who’s that ah cannot see”

Jihooned: “is that wonwoo?”

Hoshit and jihooned after realising it’s Jun: “omg jun jun juN jUN JUN JUN JUN JUN”

Junnie: RIP, Birth - 29 Sept 2017 8:12PM. “Jun is beautiful.”

PRETTY U

Jihooned: “SEOKMINNNNNNNNNNN”

Hoshit: “SEVENTEEN SARANGHAE YEPPEUDA”

/Seungkwan’s 4 octave note, Hoshit really loses it, “BOOOOOOOOO SLAYYYYYYY BOOOOOOOOOO”

BEAUTIFUL

Jihooned: If my eyes were a camera, the only thing you’ll see is Seokmin

Hoshit: “look at soonyoung he’s so dumb why do i stan hi- LOOK AT JIHOON HE IS SO DUMB WHY DO I STAN HIM”

ADORE U

Jihooned: I’m tired already

Hoshit: “I’ve been tired since Beautiful, it’s my third time swapping my shake-bong-hand” (wasn’t adore u the 3rd song)

Jihooned and Hoshit; awkward silence: “we are two songs in” “yeah we’re dead”

STILL LONELY

Jihooned aggresively hits Hoshit: THEY DOING BACKPACK DANCE

Hoshit: “I STAN LOSERS”

AJU NICE

/Jihoon appears for his part, parts Seventeen like Moses parting the Red Sea, Hoshit: “FUUUUUUUUUUU- JIHOOOOOOO-” /gets hit repeatedly by Jihooned

SWIMMING FOOL

Scooped: /Zooms in camera/ “WHAt are yOU DOIng on the flOORRrRRrrR?”

Jihooned: /shrieks at chan/

Hoshit: /incoherent mess/ “SOONYOUNG SOO- oh my god i can’t i love him too much minghao help minghao is so cute they are all so cute soonyoung please i-”

Junnie (internally): “I LOVE THIS SONG but damn, i want the waterrrrrrrr versionnnnnnn” :-;

MIDDLE SCHOOL VCR

Scooped: /Sees young seungcheol in a wig/ “OMFG OPPAAAAAA”

Jihooned: SEOKMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Hoshit: “I LOVE MY SMALL DUMPLING BABIES”

MANSAE

Junnie (internally): “ASDFGJKLL;;; LOOK AT JISOO AND JUN AT THE BACK HAVING THEIR MOMENT AHHHHHH”

Hoshit: “this is their third chorus repetition I love this song but my arms are tired plea- oh for God’s sake it’s another repetition”

BOOM BOOM

Scooped: “NOONA PEI”

Hoshit: “WHY SOONYOUNG SWEAT LIKE HOLY WATER”, a pause, “GIVE ME THAT HOLY WATER BLESS ME SOONYOUNG”

Hoshit and Jihooned: /been practicing for this fanchant since they were born, ready for this moment/ “CHOI SEUNGCHEOL YOON JEONGHAN HONG JISOO MOON JUNHUI KWON SOONYOUNG JEON WONWOO LEE JIHOON SEO MYUNGHO KIM MINGYU LEE SEOKMIN BOO SEUNGKWAN CHWE HANSOL LEE CHAN SEVENTEEN BITNAEJULGE”

Wooed: *fanchanting* CHOI SEUNGCHUL, YOON JEONGHAN HONG JI-- fuck i can’t do this.. Uh.. shit.. JEON WONWOO *more incoherent mumbling*… LEE CHAN SEVENTEEN BITNAEJULGE!

Mingyu & Vernon’s Staring Contest

When Vernon was staring into the camera my soul, Junnie (internally): “Ok it’s official. My bias for Hip Hop Team is Vernon.”

Hoshit: “why does Mingyu look so good whO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT”

Vocal Team VCR

Wooed & Scooped: “Ok time to go toilet” (BRUH WE GONNA GET KILLED HAHHA)

Jihooned: “LEE SEOKMIN STOP IT”

Hoshit: “JIHOOOOOON JIHOOOOOOOOON JIHOOOOOOO-”

WE GONNA MAKE IT SHINE

Jihooned: someone hold me pls

Jihooned and Hoshit, proud mothers shouting for their child: BOOOOOOOO SEUNGKWANNNNNNNNNNNNN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wooed: SLAY MY BABY BOO SLAY ALKJFLKAJFLKDA IM SO FUCKIGN PROUD OF YOU MY BROHEREIFPSGJKSJ

Junnie (internally): “YASS JOSHUA YOU LOOK SO TINY IN THE BIG CHAIR WOOHOO”

DON’T LISTEN SECRETLY

Wooed: *trying so damn hard not to sing along BECAUSE THIS IS HER FAVOURITE SEVENTEEN SONG EVER BUT SHE ALSO DOESN’T WANT TO RUIN HER FANCAM WITH HER UGLY VOICE*

Also Wooed after Seungkwan’s part: “I think I am crying” *Proceeds to lean against Scooped’s shoulders being emo af*

Jihooned clings onto Hoshit real tight when Seokmin opens his mouth

Hoshit: Why Jihoon hold mic stand so hot

Jihooned: That’s not a mic stand

Hoshit: Why Jihoon hold towel so hot

Hip Hop Team VCR

Wooed: “THEY ARE SO F***ING KINKY”  *erupts in a coughing fit*

Scooped: “rude rude Rude RUde RUDE RUDDDEE R000000000DDDDDD”

Jihooned: “MINGYU HANDCUFF ME PLEASE”

Hoshit: “CHOI SEUNGCHEOL DADDY AF”

Hoshit: “CHOKE ME PLEASE”

ITCH ITCH (언행일치/言行一致)

Scooped: “ITCHY ITCHY”

Scooped: “DIS SO LIT” /Headbangs/

Wooed: Jeon Wonwoo just dabbed he’s dead to me goodbye

Hoshit: “choi sEUNGCHOEL STOP” “why am I not Mingyu biased yet”

CHECK IN

Scooped: “SINGAPORE CITYYYYYYY”

Scooped: “AAAA COUPS HARD RAP COMING ITS COMING OH-F*** OH SHIT OH WOW F***” /dies/

Hoshit: “i hate choi seungcheol”

Performance Team VCR

“HOOOOOOOO”

“SHIT MINGHAO SHIT OMG”

“OH MY GOD”

Hoshit: AH- AH- AH- AH- AH- GODDAMIT CAN THEY LET ME FINISH SCREAMING BEFORE THEY GIVE ME ANOTHER HEART ATTACK”

Jihooned: ChanChanChanChanChanChannnnnnn

Junnie (internally): “bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye”

HIGHLIGHT

Jihooned and Hoshit: “DO WE DO THE OT13 CHANT OR NOT IT’S JUST PEPO” “JUST DO” “SEUNGCHEOL JEONGHAN JISOO JUNHUI SOONYOUNG WONWOO JIHOON MYUNGHO MINGYU SEOKMIN SEUNGKWAN HANSOL CHAN HIGHLIGHT”

Junnie: “CHAN, HIGHLIGHT”

OMG

Jihooned: Why Chan wear crop top

Hoshit: /lost to the war, only knows how to headbang/ “WE’RE GOING UP YEAH OH MY GOD YEAH OH MY GOD”

*Chan attempts a stunt*

Wooed: CHILD CHILD CHILD NO YOU’RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF BE CAREFUL.

CRAZY IN LOVE

hoshit just dead just rip woojireongi will be the death of her

Jihooned busy switching between Jihoon and Seokmin

Wooed: "OREUM OREUM” *mumbles* (bc she forgot the lyrics)

Wooed: *more mumbling* “BOOO.”

ROCK

Hoshit, still dead dying at the hip thrusts :YOU TAKE ME TO THE TOP AND STRAIGHT DOWN LIKE A GYRO DROP fukin lee jihoon what the heck who allowed him who allowed kwon soonyoung

Jihooned, every time before chorus hits: oh shit oh shit the body roll hold me

CHUCK

/remember the foreshadowing about the batteries THAT IS RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN; HOSHIT'S BONG BATTERIES DIED AS CHUCK CAME ON; cue hoshit desperately trying to change batteries to the beat of chuck while screaming CHUCK CHUCK BRR CHUCK

MY I

Scooped: “Will this be Korean or Chinese”

Wooed: “idkidkidkidk”

Wooed: “AAAAA ITS KOREAN ITS KOREAN KASJB AKJSDK”

Scooped & Wooed: /dies at Minghao’s flip/

Jihooned & Hoshit: korean korean korean korean korean /waits expectantly for the first word/ YASSSSSSSS KOREANNNNNN

Hoshit: “minghao bb i would like to see your tattoo when you flip, none of this tucked in shirt nonsense”

Junnie (internally): “I would like to thank Jihooned for showing me that glorious fancam for I wouldn’t be here today so see this with my own eyes omfg I lived for this moment I am not ready for this help me… the toilet paper… Jun… Minghao… help… DOLLA DOLLA DOLLA, KELANG KONGJI KELANG KONGJI”

IF I

Jihooned: “Hoshit hold my hand QUICK”

/Hoshit and Jihooned holds hands through the whole song/ *AH PEHHHHH AH PEHHHH OUR FAVOURITE AH PEH (we were referring to Wonwoo)

*Ah peh is a term used (affectionately, in our case) to refer to an old man

HABIT

Hoshit, confused screaming; not sure who to support louder: BOO?? JIHOON?? BOO!!! JIHOON!!! BOOOOOOOOO SLAYYYYYYYY BOOOOOOO- JIHOOOOOOOOOOOOO- makes lawnmower noises/

**lawnmower story will be explained one day

DON’T WANNA CRY

Wooed: “OH GOD JEONGHAN AND SEOKMIN ARE DANCING THIS HEART HAS NO DAMN SPACE FOR BOTH OF YOU PLEASE STOP”

Scooped: “I WANT TO CRY”

Hoshit: “ oh god it’s ending not like this please not like this it’s only been five minutes”

Hoshit and Jihooned: /inhales/ SEUNGCHEOL JEONGHAN JISOO JUNHUI SOONYOUNG WONWOO JIHOON MYUNGHO MINGYU SEOKMIN SEUNGKWAN HANSOL CHAN, ULGO SHIPJI AHNA

Emotional VCR

Hoshit: /WAILS, Cat 4 can hear her crying from VIP/

Jihooned/Scooped/Wooed?: HAHAHA we got friend zoned by Minghao

Hoshit: /more wailing, amount of tears can be used to fill 30 swimming pools/

HEALING

Junnie: OH SHIZZZ LOOK AT JUN CARRYING JOSHUA??? THAT’S SO FLUFFY OMFG MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

Hoshit; notices that they are spraying water: “I WANT THE HOLY WATER I WAN- GODDAMIT SEVENTEEN TRAIN YOUR ARMS HOW CAN YOU ONLY SPLASH WATER 1 METRE AWAY WHAT KIND OF PUNY PEOPL- JIHOON IS CHASING CHAN GO MY BOY BE FREE”

Ending Ment

/When jihoon finishes talking/

Jihooned: Wts is he high on drugs or something

Hoshit: “i love seventeen”, she says, as tears stream down her face

Junnie teared up here when she heard Jun & Jisoo’s ment. But she couldn’t say anything because all the other admins were sitting far away. All she could do was try not to draw attention to herself.

END OF CONCERT

Hoshit: HOW DO I STOP STREAMING THIS AUDIO

Jihooned: Eh we still got hi touch

Hoshit: oh my God i want to die but i have to wait until after the hi touch

Junnie actually teared up again (what the actual heck) because she remembered Jun & Jisoo’s ment. (Ya’ll have to know, Junnie doesn’t cry often So this was a magical and emotional moment for her.)

Wooed & Scooped just sighed and hugged each other with happiness and feels everywhere

Aaaaaaa thank you for reading through this super long post full of our nonsense and don't worry, our hi touch experience + confessions will be revealed in another post one day~~

[bookishplays-blog]

the isabelle theory

hello yall this is my personal isabelle lightwood theory!! it DOES borrow heavily from polandbananasbooks' theory however my end theory and the evidence i use is different so!! hope yall enjoy.

SPOILERS FOR ALL TSC BOOKS BUT MOST HEAVILY TMI!!

after i finished LoS i had a sudden rush of affection for the shadowhunter chronicles and dug out my old paperbacks of tmi (never actually bought tid lol i read them at the library). anyway, halfway through my copy of city of glass i...noticed something.

after sebastian murders max, he APOLOGISES to isabelle, stating that 'out of all of them, you reminded me the most of me'. at this point sebastian has pretty much revealed his assholery. so. um-

WHAT THE FUCK.

yall. so i dug out that one video by polandbananasbooks (the isabelle lightwood crackpot one) and as i was watching, i was SHOOKETH.

so, in that video they mention that passage in CoLS about izzys eyes, and how she doesn't have the same colour eyes as alec, maryse or robert. THEY couldnt find the evidence of max's eye colour, but i did (it's grey). they have two theories: one - isabelle is not maryse's child - and two - isabelle is valentine's child.

but see, although those theories were GOOD, they didn't make sense to me, so i dug a little deeper, even buying the entire TID trilogy on ibooks for the theory.

now, a few things strike me about isabelle straight away, no further evidence required. they are as follows:

1) isabelle's precise birthdate was never revealed, and won't be until the tenth anniversary of CoB is released

2) isabelle is mentioned a whole lot in TDA

3) isabelle is THE BEST shadowhunter her age behind jace and sebastian. THE BEST. she outperforms her brother, aline, and most other shadowhunters her age or even older. isabelle is hardcore as HELL

so back to city of glass. when valentine is revealing his Grand Plan, in true villain form, he says one thing that strikes me as odd: 'after sebastian, i vowed never to experiment on children of my own blood again'. he doesnt say he was never going to experiment on children again. hell, jace is evidence of that. just not children of his OWN BLOOD.

um, valentine sweetie, that's an awfully broad statement to make considering you've only experimented knowingly on one kid who wasn't your blood. it kind of implies there's multiple messed up kids out there.

so here are the facts so far:

1) valentine vowed never to experiment on children again but that vow only extended to those of his own blood (meaning isabelle is, if this theory is correct, not his child)

2) max lightwood's eyes are a variation of blue, making isabelle stick out even more

3) sebastian compares isabelle to himself

4) isabelle is a bamf

and expanding more on point three, isabelle LIKES sebastian. out of all of them, she trusted and believed in sebastian the most when he hadn't revealed his true self. she got along with him. she was disturbed by how easy he fooled her, especially compared to the others.

anyway, now to foil the idea that isabelle might not be robert's child. isabelle's description parallels that of cecily and anna lightwood HARD. she remind magnus of anna on at least one occasion. magnus, at the very least, sees lightwood family resemblance in her, and isabelle is shown in the voicemails of magnus bane to look at lightwood family portraits. isabelle does not trust her father. i sincerely believe that if isabelle did not see herself in any lightwood painting or picture, she would flatout ask her mother if she was the child of another man, because that's her nature. but she DOES. isabelle is very lightwood-esque, and it's no wonder she ended up with the lightwood pendant from cecily's side.

and of course, she has to be maryse's child. she is compared to maryse way too much for her not to be.

so to recap: isabelle is a lightwood and a trueblood but she has black eyes and a different nature to her siblings and sebastian morgenstern sees herself in her. 'heck!!' you must be thinking. 'what does this mean???'

i'll tell you what this means, munchkins, in just a moment. but i'm going to diverge a little to prove a point:

we don't have canon birthdates for alec and isabelle, meaning their age gap could be anything from just over a year to just under two. for the sake of this theory, and until the CoB tenth edition proves me wrong, i'm going to harbour under the illusion that there are ROUGHLY eighteen months between alec and isabelle, and that alec was a little over a year old when the uprising happened. this means that if you're reading this theory in the future, i could be completely wrong. don't get ur knickers in a twist.

anyway, honeys, back to isabelle. or, more accurately, back to pre-isabelle. now, as yall should know, valentines inner circle had three rad mothers or mothers-to-be: celine, jocelyn, and of course, maryse. jocelyn and maryse were closest, because their children were the same age, and jocelyn was pregnant with clary unbeknownst to valentine for a month or two pre-uprising. with that in mind, we have three pregnancies:

celine, who should, at this point, be nearly to term

maryse, who, by my calculations (based on the age difference between clary and izzy and izzy and alec) should be three-four months along (barely showing)

jocelyn, who is only a couple of weeks pregnant and hiding the fact

in this mothers circle, two out of three are canonically taking valentine's 'supplements', one happily and consensually, and one with dread and secrecy. now, tb to city of ashes: maryse was a firm, passionate believer in the cause who was told she was valentines closest lieutenant and BELIEVED him. do yall rly expect her to take this 'favouritism' of celine laying down? (jocelyn was quite obviously his wife lol so i think if it was just jocelyn, it wouldnt have mattered)

maryse would have never stood for that!! so i firmly, firmly believe that...

isabelle was experimented on by valentine in the womb, with maryse's FULL PERMISSION.

i mean, think about it! it explains why maryse was SO full of guilt about the circle, why she told isabelle about her father's affair (in order to sort of reassure herself that she wasn't the only parent who had screwed up with isabelle in some way) and it could even be the reason why robert strayed in the first place. cassie was right: isabelle's eyes don't mean anything concerning her parentage. they mean something concerning her actual abilities as a shadowhunter. and maryse was pregnant and taking supplements pre-uprising for long enough for them to take effect.

whoa, whoa, i hear you say. what could valentine have possibly experimented on isabelle with? well, for a start, angel and demon blood has to be out. valentine isn't one for repeat experiments, and he's already covered THAT base with jace and our fave incestuous demon child sebastian. this leaves us with four options: warlock, vampire, faerie or werewolf.

right off the bat, i struck off werewolf and vampire. their blood and dna isn't what gives them abilities: that's the demon disease that manifests itself in vampirism and lycanthropy. turning a born baby into a vampire or werewolf would've been far more interesting and worth the scientific research.

so that leaves us with two options. warlock and faerie. originally, i thought warlock - valentine despised warlock magic more than anything! - and then i remembered. the seelie queen had dealings with both sebastian and, it's implied, valentine. whereas warlocks are loners who cannot mobilise their brethren, faeries have knights and ladies and princes and princesses. there is a hierachy. they are controllable. valentine loved control, right? and if you think about it, well...faerie blood makes a LOT of sense.

there were already 'experiments' of sorts in the form of the two eldest blackthorns. valentine would've heard of them, such were his connections. he knows that a miscarriage would be hard to explain away, but there's proof that children with faerie blood not only survive, but thrive. faerie blood is a safe option.

second of all, faeries are both angelic and demonic in nature. it can be argued that valentine could've been trying to create a child with 'best of both worlds' without killing them. it makes sense to experiment with them, because they're a combination of two things valentine has worked with before.

thirdly, let's look at isabelle herself. she's vastly involved in faerie society: she dated a faerie knight, she knows how to get into faerieland, she can speak with faeries and she knows how they can manipulate. faeries do not trust shadowhunters. is it possible that they could tell she had some of their own blood in her? and isabelle is the loudest, most outgoing, most brash and coy and partying of all her siblings. if faerie nature were to manifest in anyone, it would be her.

finally, the dark artifices is focused heavily on the fey. but you know who has consistently been thought of or mentioned but is yet to appear out of the original cast? isabelle. isabelle is mentioned time after time, and are we really supposed to believe it's because emma looks up to her so much? isabelle wasn't fond of her like clary was, or treated her like a sister like alec did. isabelle shouldn't stick in emma's mind, but she does. why?

isabelle is an outstanding shadowhunter. she's memorable. yet out of all of them, her arcs have been the most mundane. i really believe theres more to isabelle than the sizzy plot, and i feel like cassie isn't quite done with her yet.

as for her black eyes? well, sebastian's eyes turned green when he died. perhaps isabelle's will turn blue. perhaps izzy will die in TWP or even earlier. it's been a while since one of the core tmi characters has been killed off, right? ;)

so that's my isabelle lightwood theory. you don't have to agree with me, and i'm open to thoughts and suggestions that would further alter or develop it with the support of further canon content!!

tl;dr: isabelle has the blood of the fey in her, im shook and this theory is the longest post ive ever written.

[sailormiyoung89]

I’ve been wanting to do a Harry Potter read through for a while now but have never really had a lot of time and…frankly I don’t know if I can really add a lot to the discussion that hasn’t already been said. But to heck with it! May as well! XD

Quick warning: I have read the series countless times – this is NOT my first read through and I WILL make frequent references to things that occur in future books – possibly as well as Pottermore, companion books and JK Rowling’s comments in interviews and on her twitter.

If you have somehow not read the series yet, please do not read this! Instead, I would highly recommend reading the books. Once you have inevitably fallen in love with the series, come back to me and we can gush about it together! :D

Quick introduction if you’re reading this and have no idea who I am, I’m Leigh! I’m a Hufflepuff and my patronus is a mink. I never actually did the Ilvermorny test – I considered it but if I was to attend one of the great schools, I would be attending Hogwarts (or Queen Maeve’s school if that’s still around. Personally I like to believe it is. The big ones we have names for ARE just the most prestigious after all). Anyhow, basically I just never bothered with finding my Ilvermorny house as it wouldn’t really apply to me anyhow….

Anyway, lets just jump into this! I plan on reviewing a chapter at a time for the moment. I don’t know how often I’ll post new reviews but I’m aiming to do 1 a week for now J (although I imagine it’d take me years to cover the series at that pace so hopefully I will post more often than that at times).

Chapter 1 – The boy who lived.

One of the very few non-Harry POV chapters (I think 5? Poor Frank Bryce in the beginning of Goblet, The Other Minister in Half-Blood, Narcissa and Bellatrix’s meeting with Snape, also half blood and the death eater meeting in Hallows!). Actually, I think out of the five Other POV chapters, this might be my least favourite. Frank > The Other Minister > Narcissa & Snape > Death Eater Meeting > this one.

I think one thing that’s fascinating is just how young these characters are to be so..established. If I remember correctly, Petunia is a year younger than Lily who was 21 when she died. So Petunia’s 20, married, owns a house and has a one year old child. Which would also have made Petunia a teen mum – the sort of person that you would THINK the Dursleys would look down on.

“Mr Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.”

And as much as we all dislike the Dursleys, it is impressive how well Vernon has done in his career. I don’t think we’re ever given the impression that Vernon Dursley is much older than Petunia and yet he’s the director of his company. In his early 20s….man, does that make me feel like a complete an utter failure!

“Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley’s sister, but they hadn’t met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn’t have a sister.”

Casual reminder that for all Petunia’s seeming loathing for her sister, they were exchanging letters and gifts in secret. In many ways, Petunia and Vernon seem made for each other – apart from them both being pretty nasty, they do seem to work pretty well together as a couple; but the fact that her husband doesn’t even know that Petunia maintains correspondence with Lily also seems really…REALLY unhealthy!

I know JK is highlighting Dudley’s tantrum to contrast him against his sweet, angelic orphan cousin but considering Dudley’s a year old here, it seems rather ridiculous and judgmental on JO’S part to condemn him for this.

“wearing an emerald-green clock!”

There is a really fascinating piece on Pottermore called ‘Colours’ which everyone should read. Despite the rather uninteresting title, the content is really interesting. The most magical colours are purple (the colour that we see on Dumbledore most frequently, if I’m not mistaken) and green - green representing rebirth, death and misfortune. Apt clothing choice on the part of this wizard given Voldemort’s apparent death! J Later in this chapter, Vernon knocks into another wizard who is wearing a purple cloak.

“And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off��.

I don’t think Jo’s ever said who this old man is, but I low key headcanon that this was Dedalus Diggle, the wizard who bow to Harry in a shop when Harry was a child. We also know that that night, he was suspected to have been responsible for the shooting stars which appeared on the news.

Actually, rather aside from the point but given that Diggle and other wizards appear around Harry, I tend to assume that the blood connection charm around Harry and the Dursleys worked and  that Death Eaters and other followers of Voldemort would have tried and failed to attack Harry and Privet drive in Harry’s childhood unbeknownst to them.

“The newscaster allowed himself a grin. ”Most Mysterious.”

Ted Tonks you little shit! Someone’s enjoying being the only one in the station in the know as to what’s going on.

“Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me.”

Clearly Petunia wasn’t consulted by the Royal Palace considering this is ’81 and Prince Harry was born in ’84…actually because I’m a dummy with no life, I googled it. The name ‘Harry’ had been steadily declining in popularity since the 1940s. And then Prince Harry was born and for the first time in decades, the name became more popular. Petunia must have been furious!

Anywho, back to Potter!

Thank goodness JK retconned the ‘put-outer’, renaming it the Deluminator. Perhaps Dumbledore had only JUST invented it and was still looking for a good name!

Given that Mcgonagall says that the news of Voldemort’s demise at Harry’s hands are ‘rumors’ and rather than say that Voldemort is dead, opts for the word ‘disappeared’, it seems that, like Dumbledore, McGonagall doesn’t believe that Voldemort is dead. Hagrid later mentions that Dumbledore doesn’t believe that Voldemort is really dead – just biding his time, so it makes you wonder – has McGonagall since changed her mind or is she simply less vocal about her belief about Voldemort? Or is it JUST because McGonagall hasn’t come up at all in conversation yet?

McGonagall’s grief over Lily and James’ deaths really gets to me. She’s known them since they were 11. She’s watched them grow up. McGonagall is very motherly to Harry and the other kids in her house and I can only assume this was true for Lily and James too.

“We’ve had precious little to celebrate for eleven years”

and

“All this ‘You-Know-Who’ nonsense – for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name”

pretty clearly establishes that Voldemort was in power from the years 1970-1981. I don’t know if there’s any significance to the number ‘11’ but it is interesting that Voldemort first reappears in this book, when Harry is 11 years old.

I can’t help but wonder if Dumbledore’s golden watch has functions similar to Molly Weasley’s clock. Of course, it has planets on it rather than names or faces but perhaps that’s because it’s SUPPOSED to be rather cryptic. I think rather than family, on his watch are members of the Order. It allows him to see which Order members are travelling, dead or in ‘mortal peril’ and therefore he knows when they might need backup or when they’re travelling and therefore their mission might have gone on without a hitch. Therefore it’s very important that the watch only be understood by Albus least anything happen to him and the watch fall into the wrong hands. Maybe I’m thinking far too much about a watch which I don’t believe we ever see again but oh well! :D

A lot of people seem to believe Lily’s protection and the blood protection spell are the same thing. Just a reminder, Lily’s protection was cast over Harry with her death and prevents Voldemort from harming Harry. The protection spell links Harry to Privet Drive through Lily’s blood. It’s NOT part of Lily’s protection though. It was cast by Dumbledore and is in place as long as he calls Privet Drive home. And you know, if Dumbledore wasn’t such an ass, I’m sure he could’ve thought of a much better solution than tying Harry to the Dursleys. For example, Sirius. Sirius is Harry’s legal godfather. Surely he could’ve cast a spell that played on the legal aspect to tie Harry to someone who actually cared about his wellbeing and would see to it that Harry grew up in a happy, loving home – and you know, would actually tell Harry stories about Lily and James and show him photos of his parents….not that I’m bitter or anything Dumbles…

“Young Sirius Black lent it to me.”

As much as Cursed Child would like us to forget that Sirius was there, lets all remember that his world was falling apart as well. We know that the Marauders had fallen apart a little – none of them trusted Lupin and believed him to be the spy. So to find out that the only friends you have left were murdered and betrayed by your only other friends…I don’t blame Sirius for laughing hysterically when Peter escaped him the next day. What a great birthday eve for poor Sirius!

I know the fandom talks a lot about the missing hours between Hagrid picking Harry up from Godric’s Hallow in the morning and appearing with him at Privet Drive that night (personally I like the headcanon that Hagrid brought baby Harry to some celebratory parties as the guest of honour), but seriously, what about the missing hours between Voldemort killing Lily and James the night before (early enough for there to be children trick-or-treating for Voldemort to contemplate murdering) and the morning? No one, muggle or magical hears the explosion that destroyed the Potter house? Or the screaming baby that would’ve been lying in the rubble all night? Even if we assume that no one heard the explosion because of the fidelius charm (although the explosion was when he tried to kill Harry. The fidelius charm would’ve broken with James and Lilys’ deaths), NO ONE heard the screaming baby? NO ONE?! Bathilda was right next door – idk what sleeping pills she must’ve been on to have missed poor baby Harry all night but...any chance you could share some Bathilda? When my stress and anxiety is high, I get really bad insomnia. Pills strong enough to help you sleep through the next door house being blown up might be helpful.

“But I c-c-can’t stand it – Lily an’ James dead – an’ poor Harry off ter live with Muggles-“

Although Hagrid lives on the school grounds and the trio and Ginny are good friends with Hagrid, most of the kids at school don’t befriend Hagrid.  I think it’s sweet that Lily and James obviously seemed to have been pretty good friends with Hagrid as well – enough for Hagrid to mourn them rather than celebrate like most of the wizarding community are.

he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream 

Seriously though, between the missing 24ish hours and Dumbledore leaving Harry on the doorstep overnight in early NOVEMBER, it’s nothing short of a miracle that baby Harry didn’t catch pneumonia...

So...yeah :) That’s chapter 1, if you have anything to add to the discussion, I’d love to hear from you :) Otherwise, I’ll be back in a few days with chapter 2.

Bye!  ❤

[repeatsfate]

A, K, R!!

vidya games!

K – game you’re most looking forward to? 

at the moment it’s super mario odyssey and pokemon ultra sun and moon! and, uh… my inner 12 year old is rearing her ugly head to force me to admit i’m also pretty hyped for sonic forces, oops. lOOK IT LOOKS FUN, OKAY…

i’m looking forward to fe musou too but also i’m pretty neutral on it– everything they’ve revealed has been super incredible so far and i’m looking forward to maining my birb, but i’m more interested in the confirmed fe16 and i’m looking forward to hearing more about that when the time comes.

R – most underrated game? 

hmmmm… while xenoblade chronicles itself would certainly fit the bill despite shulk being a giant meme now, i think i’ll take it a step further and go on to say xenoblade chronicles x deserves a bit more love than it got– 

despite the very real flaws with the game and some aspects of the story, a thing that draws me to it aside from the ‘if you can see it, you can go to it’ MASSIVE open world and setting on a foreign planet was just how human its supporting cast and even minor npcs are. the game does an excellent job of portraying raw humanity in both ends of the spectrum– where there are heroes, there are people even in man’s most desperate hour that took that second chance as an excuse to be horrible, horrible people. the encounter of alien life goes as swimmingly as you expect, with the remaining fragments of humanity split on how to deal with these new beings in their midst. some choose to try and form alliances and bonds, the others shun and fear the outsiders– many quests actually revolve around the racism in what’s supposed to be a safe haven for the aliens pledging themselves to humanity’s side. the conflict taking up the last leg of the game is one born of human grief and the sting of loss– and when you really get into the motivations behind it it’s so easy to understand why the person did what they did but also acknowledge yeah no you did bad buddy you gotta pay for it now. i just???? it’s so good????

the planet and creatures that make up the game’s setting are imaginative and beautiful, i honestly love just booting it up and wandering. sometimes it’s scary as all heck because OH GOD GIANT MONSTER OUT OF NOWHERE but also… that just adds to the immersion and feeling like you’re a tiny fish in a big, big sea… and when you’re strong enough to stand up to those monsters it’s the most satisfying thing in the world.

the musical direction is honestly up to taste- i personally adore xcx’s soundtrack, but those not a huge fan of hiroyuki sawano’s works might find it lacking. here’s a personal favourite! 

point is, it’s super fun, i want to do an araceli run sometime if i can ever be arsed to go back on my wii u or it gets a switch port, and a verse would be fun to play around with… i’m not a huge jrpg person, but i really really like xcx. also, fans of matthew mercer– he’s in this one, too! he plays lao huang, one of my all time favourite characters tbh

point is it is flawed, yes, but it’s also a very solid jrpg that i had fun sinking hours into and i’d totally do so again

A – favourite game of all time? 

my top fave game of all time? easy! it’s the legend of zelda: wind waker! 

it wins in both nostalgia points and a critical eye as i’ve gotten older– as a little kid, it was the first game i ever actually beat all by myself! the gamecube was the first home console i ever got to own– for a while i lived with my granny, who wasn’t very big on gaming if that makes sense? and then after moving back in with my mom she got me one for christmas and a friend lent me wind waker after i tried playing it at his house and repeatedly got stuck in the forsaken fortress. the excitement of finally making it past that and seeing this big, bright, beautiful world and story unfold before me has stuck with me to this day?? idk how to explain it i just. wind waker was an important game in my childhood, and i’ve played through it a loooooot– mostly i’ve noticed it was during times of stress or particular loneliness. everyone has that one game that’s been there™ for them during times of duress, and wind waker has always been mine. 

okay i’m read more-ing the rest of this because i… went on for a WHILE. which is also why i answered it last oops. tl;dr there are many reasons why i love this game and it’s still my fave even now that i’m nearly 23. 

as an adult, i’ve found that from a technical standpoint the game holds up really well, too– even without the hd remake on the wii u wind waker is still a very beautiful, stylistic game; a major benefit to having taken the art in a more cartoony direction is that it prevents the game from aging too much; if you were to look at the vanilla gamecube edition now, it still holds up amazingly! (meanwhile, i find that while twilight princess is still lovely, the more realistic art direction tends to date it a little. i could look at the original and just know the era it was made in, whereas if i never saw wind waker before, i would question it.) 

the textures are rather blurry, sure, but that was a product of the time– hypatia on tumblr actually produced a mod with hd textures for roms of the gamecube version– check out these comparasion shots of the then-work in progress mod versus the original textures… and then here’s a few polished shots of the mod with a few extra effects dolphin/ishiiruka can provide. in short, the original wind waker is a very, very beautiful game and age has done very little to tarnish that even with the remake’s updated graphics. 

but obviously graphics don’t make or break a game, though proper presentation is important– wind waker’s story also resonates with me deeply in various aspects. as an older sister, the initial quest to set out and rescue your younger sibling in danger caught my attention and held it fast; they do a very good job of making you feel attached to aryll, and the scene where she is kidnapped always tugs at my heartstrings every time i see it. watching this young boy who lived the world’s most quiet little life on a tiny island suddenly get swept up into this grand, big adventure to rescue someone dear to him and becoming an actual hero – despite having no relation to oot link whatsoever! – is the quintessential coming of age story that most people can relate to, and watching that change as the game plays out is always really sweet???

 it was nice watching link’s development through his little actions: the backing away from helmaroc king when he first storms the fortress and then confident staring it down the second time and then giving it what for– aside from ganondorf himself that’s my favourite boss in the game if only because of those moments of development. link’s not just some kid from outset in over his head anymore– he’s a hero who overcame the trials of the goddesses himself in the name of protecting his baby sister, and he will not fail again. and then, after he could easily just throw in the towel and take his sister home because he accomplished what he set out to do, link goes on and sees it through to the end anyways because restoring order to the world is the right thing to do– there’s no legacy of knights looming over his head like several of his other incarnations. there’s no grand kingdom, there are only desolate little islands. there’s a princess, but… he barely knows her. hell, she didn’t even know she was a princess until that moment. 

the story also touches on themes of death and the ends of eras… but also ends on a note of hope and new beginnings– clinging to the past only leads to ruin, and we must create opportunities for ourselves and the world to grow. hyrule is actually completely washed away by the end, and ganondorf goes with it– unless we assume breath of the wild is in the adult timeline, that’s it. he’s gone FOREVER in the subsequent games, with bellum and malledeus taking his place as the main villain. the kingdom link and tetra found is called new hyrule, but that’s all they share in significance– it’s their own land, just like the king said. that final scene of wind waker with the king always got to me– that message of hope is so poignant and powerful, i just. i don’t know how to put it into words, but it’s a scene i love dearly. 

then there’s the music and cast of characters, and even quests and gameplay? i know the sailing could get tedious but i always liked it; it was relaxing to me just watching the virtual waves and listening to that beautiful score?? the characters are all bright and unique and fun– they’ve got their own little lives and you can impact them in so many different ways and things definitely change once you do?? like starting windfall vs windfall after you do a few sidequests or even turn on the ferris wheel and lighthouse again feel so different? it’s a neat little detail i’ve always found!!

…i really need to stop rambling about wind waker now i actually dozed off a bit typing this post, oops.