#pregnant tommy kinard

[laundryandtaxesworld]

i was inspired by this post by @agentpeggycartering

eddie always loved babies. how they could easily fit into one’s arms. their faces scrunched up as they slept, their coos as you talked to them.

but he hasn’t had a baby for a long time. his son was now a teenager and he didn’t have any other children. sure, maddie and chim had jee and he loved to hold her as a baby as she just looked out at the world. that way he could see her curiosity of the world, but jee wasn’t his.

but now, seeing the pregnancy test of the coffee table, he smiled. he was going to have another child, a baby to hold and to love with his whole heart.

“eddie?” eddie blinked out of his thoughts and he saw tommy staring at him, the later with fear in his eyes. “are you okay with this?”

“of course, why wouldn’t i be?” tommy cleared his throat.

“you spaced out after i showed you the test, and i was scared that you didn’t want the baby.”

“i’m sorry, i was just thinking about chris, and how long it’s been since he was a baby.” tommy softened.

“it has been awhile, hasn’t it?”

“fifteen years.” tommy joined eddie by the couch and kissed eddie on his forehead.

“no matter how old chris is going to be, he’ll always be your baby. no matter how many times he says he isn’t.” eddie chuckled. he placed his hand on tommy’s stomach and could swear he could already feel the baby.

“i can’t wait to go on this journey with you tommy, to see our baby come into this world and know they are so loved.”

“you’re going to spoil them rotten, aren’t you?” tommy asked as he kissed eddies lips.

“you know it. i love you and this baby so much tommy.”

“we love you to babe.”

[unhingedangstaddict]

The bucktommy mpreg brainrot is so real wtf. I never thought in a million years I'd write an mpreg fic and well,,,

Here's my latest wip

Tommy was sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toliet again, crying for no reason again. He was so sick of the spontaneous crying and worse he didn’t even know why he was crying. Tommy had cried after the break-up, but he’d mostly stopped after two-ish weeks. He was sick of feeling the way he’d felt all week- horrifically nauseous and tired no matter how much he slept.

Tommy was so caught up in his wallowing and his crying that he didn’t hear Lucy enter the house, didn’t notice her standing in the doorway to the ensuite. He only noticed her when she set a plastic bag from a drug store down at his feet.

Tommy sniffled and looked up at Lucy. “I’m starting to regret giving you a key.” He wiped the tears off his cheeks.

“Is it really so terrible having someone look out for you?” Lucy crossed her arms.

Tommy was quiet.

“Thought so.” Lucy nodded.

Tommy curiously reached for the bag and looked inside.

“First time ever for me, the women's version of something was cheaper than the mens version. It’s the exact same thing, just different colored packaging.” Lucy said nonchalantly.

Tommy hardly registered what Lucy was saying as he plucked the box out of the bag. A three pack of pregnancy tests. In an instant it felt like his world had been flipped on it’s axis.

There was no way this was actually happening, but if he was- if Lucy was right about this, it would make sense. The headaches, the fatigue, the random crying, the nausea and vomiting- morning sickness. Now that Tommy thought about it, it seemed like his sense of smell had maybe been heightened the last week or so too.

“If I’m way out of line here Tommy, just tell me, it’s fine. I’ll keep ‘em for next time I have a scare.” Lucy offered.

Tommy swallowed thickly. His mind and heart were racing. This couldn’t be happening.

“Tommy?” Lucy prompted.

“I don’t know.” Tommy said quietly. Clearly Lucy had been thinking about this at least since they were on the phone not that long ago. Her suggestion to drink something made even more sense now. Tommy couldn’t believe this was his life.

“What- what do you mean you don’t know?” Lucy asked.

“I never uh, I never got tested to see if I’m a carrier.” Tommy couldn't take his eyes off the box of pregnancy tests.

“You’re joking right?” Lucy sounded shocked or maybe even pissed.

Tommy shook his head.

“How could you be so irresponsible?” Lucy questioned. “You- I can’t believe you never got tested. I can understand not getting tested as a kid with your dad being the way he is but Tommy, you’re- you sleep with men! How could you not get tested?”

Tommy spoke with a monotone voice, head clearly elsewhere. “Parents never bothered. Then I was in denial about being gay and thought I could make myself fall in love with a woman. Then it didn’t matter because I was never serious enough to ditch condoms. Then it didn’t matter when I was serious enough to ditch condoms because I was almost exclusively the top and I was too old. The thought never even crossed my mind in all the time I was with Evan.”

“Oh my god Tommy.” Lucy mumbled.

“I know.” Tommy swallowed thickly. “I guess I have to take one of these now, huh?”

“I’d recommend all three, actually.” Lucy told him. “These things aren’t the most reliable, always a chance of false negatives or positives, so it’s best to take more than one test but if you take two and get two different results then you won’t feel any better or worse than you did before taking them, until you take another. So three at once.”

“Sounds like you know from experience.” Tommy looked up at Lucy.

“I’m a woman who does not exclusively sleep with other women.” Lucy shrugged.

Lucy left the bathroom so Tommy could take the tests, and as soon as he was finished he set them on the counter, opened the door for Lucy, started a timer, and sat back down on the floor again, not confident that he wasn’t going to throw up again at any moment.

Lucy came in and sat next to Tommy on the floor. Just by looking at him she could tell he wasn’t in the mood to talk and for the time being she knew everything she needed to know. Tommy hadn’t even thought about the possibility of this so Lucy was certain that Tommy had no idea what he’d want to do about it- if Tommy was pregnant it was undoubtedly Evan’s, and Tommy was scared and heartbroken right now. Instead of talking Lucy just took his hand and held onto it.

Three minutes felt like an eternity, and if it wasn’t for Lucy holding onto Tommy’s hand, he was sure he would’ve completely lost his grip on reality. He distantly heard the timer on his phone going off, followed by Lucy giving his hand a squeeze. Tommy stopped the timer. He couldn’t look at the tests. He couldn’t move. “Can you look?” He rasped.

“Of course.” Lucy said gently. She stood, not letting go of Tommy’s hand and looked at the tests on the counter. There were two visual tests and one digital test with a weeks along indicator.

The visual tests both showed plus signs, meaning the tests were positive.

The digital test read ‘Pregnant 3+’, meaning three or more weeks along.

“Luce?” Tommy’s grip on her hand tightened.

“Positive.” Lucy told him.

“All of them?” Tommy wondered.

“All three.” Lucy nodded.

Tommy nodded slowly. “Okay.” He whispered as tears stung his eyes and quickly began to fall.

Lucy squeezed Tommy’s hand and returned to her spot on the floor next to him.

Tommy pulled his knees to his chest, rested the arm that wasn’t holding Lucy’s hand on his knees, put his head down, and sobbed for so many reasons it felt like there wasn’t even a reason to be crying at all.

[diazsdimples]

Tommy can't quite believe what just happened.

He sits in his truck, still parked perfectly outside Evan's building. He'd hoped it was a sign when he'd found it. An opening so close to Evan's building, maybe the universe signaling to Tommy and he can open himself up too and allow Evan to slot perfectly into his life.

But he'd panicked, as he always does. He'd let Evan get too close, allowed himself to believe, for a moment, that they could really be something good.

That maybe, they could be a family.

And then Evan had asked him to move in - a minor step compared to the news Tommy had - and Tommy had clammed up, all his old habits rushing back to him in a wave of you're not good enough.

Don't take him out with you. Let him be free.

Tommy's throat is tight as he cranes his head, glancing up at the window he knows ie Evan's. He could fix this, run up those stairs and bang on Evan's door. Apologize to him, tell him it's just the hormones - he feels like his head is all over the place these days. Tell Evan that he panicked but it's okay, they'll work through it.

That he's sorry.

But he can't, really. He can't take back the words. He can't let them - because that's what they are now, a them - drag Evan down. Clip his wings and stop him from soaring the way he was born to.

His hand comes to rest against his abdomen. He's still too early to be showing, the tiny life nestled within his womb still no bigger than an apricot. He imagines he can hear the galloping heart he'd heard only this morning and it brings him some peace.

At least he isn't entirely alone.

"Well, little one, I guess it's just you and me " Tommy whispers into the silence of the truck, his thumb stroking just below his navel. "Daddy's sorry, baby."

He turns the key in the ignition and shifts the car into drive, easing himself out of that perfect, traitorous parking spot. If only it hadn't all been too good to be true. If only he'd been able to believe he deserved a happy ending, too.

[typicalopposite]

we almost had it all

rated T | Trigger warnings: mpreg, blood, miscarriage

Based on this post

Tommy turns the little stick over and over in one hand while he holds the box up close to his face with the other. Damn tiny print… he thinks, still having to squint just to read it. Place a few drops on the test. A few drops?! Who has that kind of control… “Oh…” he says aloud, his voice echoing off the walls of the store’s bathroom— he was so anxious he just went straight there from the register. 

He stares at the little guide doodle showing the mock tester using the syringe— that he didn’t realize was still in the box— to draw up a sample from a cup— that was definitely not in the box— and the syringe is used to manage the few drops. But he has no cup… and he is due at work in less than half an hour.

A lot more might be due if his suspicions are correct. 

He groans and unfastens his pants.

Definitely more than a few drops later and he is pacing the small space of the accessible stall bathroom, the test is face down on the floor in the farthest corner from him, while his phone ticks down three minutes. Please be negative, please be negative, please be negative… he silently chants, knowing good and god damn well it won’t be. 

The timer goes off…

He sulks over to the corner and picks up the test…

He flips it over…

He sees the two blue lines…

He barely makes it back over to the toilet to puke… 

*

Working the few shifts after that… was awkward. 

Or should he say coming up with every excuse to not do much work without letting Lucy and the rest of his team know he was on light duty… was awkward. His captain knew and that was all. So he made sure he was man behind for every call, under the weather for any heavy duty in-house work, and just claimed seniority for anything else that he deemed might be too strenuous for him. 

He just wanted to tell Ev- Buck… first. 

There had never been a doubt in his mind Buck would know about the baby. He just had to wait until they were both free, and by some miracle their calendar’s were still linked together on his phone… so he could see when they would both be off work. Not that having a clear visual on the day he was going to face the man he is madly in love with… but broke up with (because he is likely clinically insane) and broke both their hearts in the process… could really be considered a miracle; more like karma. Karma on him for putting them in the situation that this discussion would be anything less than an overly joyful celebration in the first place. 

Buck was going to be joyful, regardless. Tommy knew that. The man loved children, and talked about having his own someday often. He was going to be thrilled. Hell… after the initial shock, so was Tommy. They were adults… they could act like it and figure out how to raise this kid together.

*

It’s the last shift before Tommy’s 48 off and Buck was already 24 into his. 

The call came in right when the crew was about to call it a day and start getting ready to leave. Two-vehicle collision at the intersection of Victory Boulevard and Lindley Avenue. A semi and a firetruck. Truck driver was stable and three of the firefighters inside were injured but stable; one was in critical condition, requiring immediate air support. 

Please don’t be them, please don’t be them, please don’t be them…

Perhaps it was wrong for Tommy to hold his breath and hope it was any other station. It’s not like his hope helped much anyway. “This is Captain Bobby Nash…” the tired, and stressed sounding, familiar voice came across the radio. “We need an ETA on air support, Firefighter Buckley has fallen unconscious. We need to get him medical assistance fast.” 

Tommy’s entire world seems to start moving in slow motion, while he watches stuck on autopilot and can't do anything. He is off the couch and ignoring his captain’s concerned voice when he asks what he thought he was doing. Tommy would have liked to see him stop him from getting in that helicopter with Lucy. 

He climbs into the cockpit, and pulls his headphones on, letting them know they’re on their way. 

*

“Are you okay…” Lucy has asked a dozen times, when she’s not overly insisting Buck is going to be okay. The bird is high enough in the sky that it makes it easy to control, so Tommy assumes her questioning is due to his death grip being so tight on the controls that his knuckles are turning white. 

“M’fine…” Tommy says, with his jaw clenched so tight he might be cracking his molars. 

The truth? He’s not fine. Not just because he is flying into the unknown in regards to Buck’s fate and that scares the hell out of him… But also— he’s not fine because the moment he heard the distress call over the radio, his stomach twisted into the most intense knot he’s ever experienced and never let up.  

Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay… he repeats in his head the entire flight, and it holds two meanings. He listens as Bobby updates them on Buck’s condition— which is not looking good— and in return urgently asks their ETA. “F- Five minutes…” Tommy manages, trying his damndest to sound calm and professional, knowing he’s probably failing miserably. 

His stomach twists and cramps, and he grits his teeth trying to ignore it. Then he feels it. A small gush of warmth between his legs… and he just knows. 

He navigates the rest of the way, trying to not visually react to what is happening… They arrive at the accident, Buck is loaded into the helicopter, and Tommy lifts them back into the air. He doesn’t say a word, but he listens as Harbor’s medics work on his— fuck… he’s back to just being his ex again, it seems. Nothing tying them together now… 

He blinks back against the tears threatening to spill and thinks… At least everyone will just assume he’s crying over Buck— which he is… of course— and not because he just lost the little piece of Buck he had thought he’d actually get to keep. 

*

“Tommy…” Lucy tries again, and he sharply jerks when she lays a hand on his arm. They have been landed on the hospital’s helipad for a while now… Buck has long since been taken from the helicopter and whisked off through the double doors. “Hey… what’s— what’s going on?” Her brows are pulled so tight together they’re nearly touching; she looks so worried, and he can’t blame her… He’s sure he’s acting incredibly off. 

“You’re gonna have to fly her back,” he eventually says, his voice hoarse and small, and her confusion only seems to grow. “I— I need to go inside…” She doesn’t question, just gives a quick nod, reaching over to squeeze his arm. 

He opens his door and unhooks his seat and climbs out of his seat and Lucy all but screams, causing him to turn back towards her. He sees the culprit for her reactions is the blood he left behind on the seat and he stares at it for a moment. 

“Oh that’s  b- because—” His voice seizes upon his throat and tears begin to build in his eyes… and they are alone out here anyway, why hold them back now. “—because I just lost our baby…” He can’t break his eyes away from the blood stain. He doesn’t even register when it clicks with Lucy what he means and she turns the helicopter off and rushes out and around to him. She catches him just as his knees finally give out, and he cries in her arms until staff come out to check on them, ushering him inside to be treated while Lucy explains the tragedy within a tragedy that has happened. 

Part Two

[ladyeyrewrites]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by @unhingedangstaddict

This is a snippet from my BuckTommy mpreg fic featuring trans Tommy. It doesn't have a title yet and I don't know when I'll finish it.

It seemed Tommy wanted to look anywhere but directly at Buck, which was just another thing Buck had lost. Buck blinked against threatening tears as Tommy glanced around Buck’s loft, eyes taking in the subtle changes that had taken place since they’d broken up, until his gaze settled on the mess that was Buck’s kitchen island. “You’ve been baking.”

Sure, Buck had baked with Chris before to help out with a school bake sale since Eddie was so culinarily clueless but he hadn’t really done it in his own time until he’d found out about Tommy’s sweet tooth. He’d been practicing to make something for Tommy’s birthday but then Tommy had to go and dump him. Bitterness spiked through him. “Yeah. Anytime I get the urge to call you, I just I channel the impulse into something positive, like baked Alaska.”

Tommy’s face twisted with regret, eyes growing glassy. Buck wasn’t sure if that had been his intention or not, but maybe it would be good for Tommy to really see how much Buck had been thinking about him. So, Buck walked over to the fridge and pulled out three loaves, making sure the fridge door was opened wide enough for Tommy to see the extent of Buck’s foray into baking and how often he’d been thinking about reaching out. “Here, you should take some.” He plopped three loaves into Tommy’s unprotesting arms. “Here’s a lemon loaf, and a walnut loaf, and a pumpkin loaf.”

“That’s a lotta loaf,” Tommy managed to say. “Buck, I—”

“Hang on, let me go grab those shirts,” said Buck because hearing Tommy call him by his nickname rather than his name made him want to scream and he didn’t want to do that, not when Tommy looked like anything could cue the waterworks at any moment. So, Buck might have fled his kitchen, jogging upstairs to grab the reusable tote bag of Tommy’s tee shirts and flannels he’d accumulated over their six months together. That bag had been haunting him every night as he lay in bed – alone – trying to fall asleep, wondering if Tommy was also alone or if he’d already managed to find a rebound.

Buck hefted the bag and his heart panged. Once he gave this stuff back, Tommy would well and truly be gone from his life. There’d be no excuse for Buck to reach out. No trace that Tommy had ever been in his life save for the indelible mark he’d left on Buck’s heart. So, Buck did something maybe a little impulsive and indulgent; he snagged one of Tommy’s flannels out of the bag and shoved it under his pillow. He was absolutely not going to bury his face in it and cry himself to sleep later.

As he was engaging in some of the most pathetic breakup behaviour ever, his kitchen timer went off downstairs.

“Buck, do you need me to do something?” Tommy shout up the stairs, voice carrying over the shrill timer beep.

“Yeah, could you just grab the baked brie out of the oven?” he asked. He snagged his favourite Tommy t-shirt out of the bag and stashed it with the stolen flannel too. If Tommy was allowed to unceremoniously dump Buck then Buck was allowed to steal his clothes and not return them.

Buck gave a satisfied nod and started down the stairs to join Tommy. He was halfway down when he heard Tommy gag. Buck looked up from his feet in time to see Tommy turn literally green before unceremoniously dumping Buck’s baked brie on the counter, bee-lining for the sink and vomiting down the drain.

Buck raced down the stairs, rushing to Tommy’s side and rubbing smoothing circles on his back before he even realised what he was doing. “Are you okay?”

“Are you sure that cheese is okay?” Tommy asked catching his breath. “It reeks.”

Buck frowned as he got down a glass and filled it with tap water for Tommy to rinse out his mouth. “Uh yeah,” he said. “And brie’s not a stinky cheese.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Tommy sagged, leaning against Buck’s counter. “But my sense of smell’s been really weird the last few weeks.”

A sinking feeling filled Buck’s stomach. This all sounded very familiar. They’d always been so good about using protection and between birth control and testosterone Tommy hadn’t had a period in well over a decade. But there’d been that little lapse before Tommy had found his new doctor and oh, god they’d definitely had unprotected sex that one time when they were both a little tipsy after getting back from babysitting Eddie. “You’re pregnant,” Buck blurted before his brain could send his tongue anything more tactful to say.

[weewookinard]

if you aren’t big on mpreg then just ignore this but for the fluffy headcanon is that buck loves talk to the baby that tommy is growing.

Fun fact, I used to be anti mpreg before I entered this fandom but now I'm as obsessed as everyone else!

Tommy being the one pregnant is so important to me. He always thought he was not worthy of love and happiness and is now growing the fruit of his perfect love and he's beaming with pride and joy. He adores it, even the worst parts of pregnancy, because it's a reminder of how lucky he is to have this perfect life.

And we know Evan is a yapper, and Tommy loves it. He would be okay with only listening to Evan for the rest of his life -well, he was before he saw the pregnancy test showing two bars- and never tells him to shut up. Evan is so interesting, either he's talking about work and how they saved everyone, or when he explains to him all the new things he learned while deep diving on wikipedia. Tommy can remember everything Evan says to him which is a gift for Evan who cannot stress enough how lucky he is to have found such a perfect match. A match who is growing their babies.

So, when he learned that babies could hear what happened outside, he started talking to them. At first it was about how excited he was to meet them, and how happy he was to create a family with the love of his life. He told them about Tommy, how they met, how hard they fell for each other. He told them about uncle Eddie and aunt Maddie and Grandpa Bobby and everyone waiting with excitement for them to arrive.

Then, he starts talking about calls, trying not to get too dark and detailed though. He tells them about his deep dives too, and how he can't wait to teach them about the world. He tell them not to listen while they're having sex, making Tommy laugh. One day he learns that babies can have accents and he tries different ones, all so bad that Tommy can help but laugh more until he cries.

When finally the twins are born it's an effusion of love and words. Tommy is tired but he smiles because Evan is here, talking to their babies, telling them how beautiful they are and how lucky him and Papa are. A few hours later Tommy is fast asleep and one of the twins starts crying. Evan is quick to take him in his arms and tells him, voice low but full of adoration. "Stop crying sweetheart." And the baby stops because he recognizes this voice and knows he's safe in his daddy's arms. And maybe it makes Evan cry a lot.

Send me more cute headcanon about them and I'll yap about it! ❤️

[cassatelle]

9 months into their breakup, 118 is called to help an emergency labor. buck is getting so suspicious because why are they driving to tommy's neighborhood. wait, no, why are they stopped in front of tommy's house?! who would be possibly pregnant in tommy's house?!

they're trying to stay professional, quickly jump out of the truck and barging into the house. turns out tommy's neighbor was the one called 911, she was so scared when she heard tommy's groan. and tommy, now belly so big buck barely recognizes, lying down on his couch catching his breath. buck starts to count the months inside his head.

though still super confused, buck insists that he will be present. he tells bobby, his kid or not, he wants to be there with tommy.

buck ends up staying next to tommy, holding his hand and whispering encouragements into tommy's ear throughout the delivery. he kisses tommy's temple once the baby's here, crying with him, crying with them.

"she's a loud crier like her dads, huh?" chim says before he hands her to him. buck doesn't catch the vague reference of him in chim's sentence, everything aside of the baby in his arms is blur right now.

and, oh, buck feels like he's staring in the looking glass—she has a curly blonde hair, round bullet nose, two small blobs of red on top of her left eyes, and when she opens her eyes, they are the clearest and brightest blue he ever seen.

and then she reaches his face with her tiny little hands. and buck cries again.

[tommykinard6]

😳💔🫃

May I be greedy?🥺

Yes, please be greedy! Let me see what my brain can pull for you. Imma do headcanons for 😳 and 🫃, I think, but since you’re the only one to ask for 💔 you’ll get a fic snippet!

😳

Tommy hasn’t had a pack in years. His family was broken since he was a child, his unit mostly died when he was in the army, and the 118 was barely worth calling a pack. Harbor is close, but they’ve not taken on a pack dynamic. Several stations have moved away from those bonds and the 217 is one of them.

So he watches Evan and his happy, bonded pack with a sense of longing. He’s on the outskirts. He’s a friend, a welcome outsider. He’s a friend to everyone there and Evan’s boyfriend, but he won’t join the pack until Evan wants to claim him as his future mate.

So he watches and wishes and tries not to dream of something he doesn’t think he deserves.

Until Evan gets down on one knee, barely a year after they get together, and asks him to be his mate for life and his husband. Of course, Tommy says yes.

And then the next time they see Evan’s pack, Tommy’s folded into the mix too. Scented by the other members, welcomed as a pack member and cherished in a way he’d always heard omegas should be but never got to experience.

He’s not alone now. He’s pack. He’s Evan’s and Evan is his.

🫃

Tommy goes looking for the father of his child. He goes back to the club, multiple times. He wanders the coffee shops of nearby LA and looks in every store and car he passes. He hunts, but LA is big and for all he knows, Firehose could be from out of town. He could be married to 2 and a half kids already, for all Tommy knows.

But he never stops looking. He leaves the 118, never meeting their new probie. He goes on medical leave, his pregnancy kept hushed and on a need to know by his request. He picks up a side job at a local comic store to keep the money coming. And he looks for blond curls everywhere he goes.

💔

“Mr. Rocker?”

Donovan snapped back to the office he was sat in, on the opposite end of the couch from his wife. Dr. McCormick looked at him over the rims of her glasses. He got the sense she’d been trying to get his attention for a while.

“I’m sorry.” It was a sincere apology. He hadn’t meant to tune out. “What was that?”

“I asked if you had anything you wanted to say about what your wife shared?”

He knew Val had been talking. It was the same thing she was saying at home, and had said for the last three appointments. No apology, regret only for being caught, and continued defense over her actions.

He’d tried, at first, to listen. He’d tried to understand. He’d wanted to be an understanding husband, a partner that stayed through the tough times.

He looked at her and he felt nothing.

“Mr. Rocker?”

Bless this therapist. She’d really jumped into helping them with determination. Maybe, if there was something to reconcile, it would’ve worked.

Donovan and Valerie had been married for 12 years. Fresh out of college, wide eyed and optimistic. He loved her for a long time. Maybe she loved him too, once.

Now, he just felt nothing.

“I want a divorce.”

[obitez]

🐤

Here ya go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christopher giggled from where he sat in the front passenger seat. “We told you we couldn’t tell you guys,” Eddie said. “Now come on.” 

Tommy shared another look with Buck before he got out of the truck to follow the two. “Do you have any ideas what this is about?” he asked. 

“That both of us would need to be here for? No freaking clue.”

[quintessenceofdust88]

Gabby, i was inspired by @bidisasterevankinard talking about little blobs verse and how Nonna Rosa would be there for both of them. But i’m thinking of how she would be if Tommy was pregnant. I think she would do a lot of the same as she would with Buck, but I also think she would worry just a bit more because it’s her Tommy, and since he is older it’s a riskier pregnancy. She wants to make sure both Tommy and her (favorite) great grandchild are safe and healthy during the birth and afterwards.

VIAAAA you are soooo right!!!

Can you imagine how Nonna would be if her darling Tommasino was pregnant? She'd be the happiest, but most overprotective grandmother in the world!!!

She'd fly to LA the moment she hears about the pregnancy, armed with all the best recipes to make sure he's healthy and getting his fair intake of vitamins. Between her hovering and Buck's, Tommy would barely be able to lift a finger the whole pregnancy ('Tommasino, if I see you near a heavy bag again I will wack your hand with a spoon, so help me Dio!')

Nonna'd definitely worry, of course. She's seen so many things in her life, including her fair share of high risk pregnancies. She'd ask Buck mainly, because she knows Tommy would want to sugarcoat things for her, and she wants to know what's going on ('Tell me everything the doctor says, Evanino, please. I need to take care of my bambino.).

I think Buck would confide in her so much, going to her for advice all the time. And for every pregnancy symptom/milestone she gets to see or the boys tell her about, she'd be reminded of Tommy's mother, and she'd wistfully think of how proud she would be of her boy.

And Nonna herself , of course, would be so so happy and proud for her bambino. She'd watch Tommy's bump grow and smile with so much love, putting her hand over it and singing so sweetly in Italian to them 🥹🥹 ('You are so loved, piccolino. Your Nonna can't wait to meet you').

Via darling thank you for this ask, you made me realize I have lots of thoughts about Nonna and pregnant Tommy and I think I'll have to do sth about it!!!

[screaming-universe]

Several Sentences Sunday

wasn't tagged but I have several sentences and they wanted to be written instead of sleeping so now I'm posting them. Entirely unedited on account of it being late. This is somewhat inspired by the recent bucktommy mpreg hype, and is part of my werecat au

Tommy feels sick and it is not just because of the morning sickness. He didn’t plan to get pregnant; he'd honestly been kind of sure he couldn’t anymore. Not with the suppressants he’d taken in the military; they had actually been banned a few years ago for being unsafe. Not with the suppressants he’d taken for as long as he’d been at the 118 without ever getting his bloodwork checked. He’d actually acknowledged that he was an omega when he’d started at the 217, had worked through what that meant and come to accept himself. And part of then had been going to a specialised doctor who’d prescribed him newer, healthier suppressants and cautioned him to actually use the LAFD mandated quarterly heat leave for what it was meant for. It had been weird at first but also enjoyable and quite revelatory in a lot of ways. Recently he’d been sharing his heats with the loves of his life and that sure had let his enjoyment skyrocket. He’d also shared Eddie’s heat, which had been new and exciting and a lot of fun too.

And therein lay the problem: Eddie wanted to get pregnant, not Tommy. Eddie, who had also been on the toxic Army suppressants too. Eddie, who had been taking suppressants without pause until he’d been found out when he’d been in the hospital after being shot. Eddie, who had been shot through the abdomen in Afghanistan. The doctors thought he might still be able to carry but they were not sure. And so far Eddie was not pregnant.

But Tommy was; he was pregnant and Eddie wanted to be. He would not take this away from Eddie though, he would not overshadow him. So he’d left. Told his boyfriends that they should take a break or something along the lines and left. It was really stupid since they’d been at his house but Eddie had not given up his little house yet – and probably wouldn’t now – and Tommy still had the key.

He’d let himself into the house, and he’d allowed himself to curl up on Eddie’s bed that still carried their intermingled scents. This was probably the last opportunity he’d get because he had asked for a break but he knew that he should break this off entirely before they would and his heart would be broken. Deep down he knew that it was too late for that already. He stripped out of his clothes and shifted and curled up as tightly as he could, nose pressed against the pillows that carried Eddie and Evan’s scents.

Tommy had expected to get some messages after he had left so hurriedly – he saw them lighting up the screen of his phone; it was only Evan though. But he had not expected for the door to be opened and closed quite aggressively and for Eddie to storm in, looking furious. Just Eddie though, nobody following him.

“Yeah, Buck’s not here,” Eddie said, glowering. “He has a shift and our boyfriend just left us after asking for a break and didn’t even wait around long enough for us to talk.”

Eddie ran a hand over his face and through his hair. He sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh, his back to Tommy.

“You know he’s afraid of being abandoned,” Eddie said quietly. And so was Eddie, though he had a hard time admitting it out loud. And Tommy too, even though he could hardly even admit it to himself. “What brought this on? Did we do something wrong?”

The last thing Tommy wanted to do was talking about this but to see Eddie – his boyfriend, one of the men he had been courting – sitting there like this, looking small and unsure made him shift before he could really think about it.

“I’m pregnant,” he blurted out and Eddie’s head whipped around.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant,” Tommy said again and he had to look away. “I don’t…“ He could not finish that sentence, didn’t even know what he wanted to say.

The mattress moved around a bit as Eddie settled down right next to him and then gentle fingers turned Tommy’s chin towards him. For a moment Tommy wanted to accuse Eddie of stealing his moves but this was not a time to get playful. Tommy had probably lost any right to that.

“You are pregnant?” Eddie asked and there was something tentative on his face. Maybe almost hopeful?

Tommy just nodded, gently jostling Eddie’s hand that now lay fully against his jaw.

“I didn’t think you could–“

“Neither did I.”

“How do you feel about this? Panicking aside, of course,” Eddie added, because he was nothing if not a little shit.

“I–I don–I,” Tommy tried and then took a deep breath. “I don’t know? I never thought I would or could be pregnant so I never thought about what I’d do. And if I do this I know I can’t do it alone but–“

“But what?” Eddie challenged him. “You’d think we’d leave you for being pregnant?” He sounded indignant; he sounded pissed again. “Why?”

Tommy took a moment to gather his thoughts and when he did he took Eddie’s hand that was still on his face and held it in both of his. “You wanted to get pregnant again,” he said softly and something moved across Eddie’s face. “And now I am. This was supposed to be your moment, not mine.”

“Fuck you!” Eddie said but his hand grasped Tommy’s tightly. “I would be happy for you – for all of us! I am!” He deflated again, about to pull back and Tommy’s heart was about to sink but– “If this is what you want, that is.”

“I don’t know yet,” Tommy whispered. “I don’t–“

“That’s fine,” Eddie said and kneeled so that he can grasp Tommy’s face with both hands, ever so gently. “You know that Buck would be overjoyed, and I would be too, but if you don’t want to keep it that’s fine.”

“But it’d feel wrong when you are trying to become pregnant and I am considering–“

“Tommy,” Eddie said and kissed him, very sweetly. “This is about you and not about me. If you want to keep it, you keep it and we will support you. If you don’t, we will support you too. But please talk to us before you run away again.”

“Yeah?”

Instead of answering, Eddie wrapped his arms around him and Tommy’s pulled into his chest. His arms automatically wrap around Eddie too and he pulled him closer.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “And if you still want to take a break from this relationship then you’ll have to let me go because my heat is rapidly approaching and this is not helping.”

Fuck. Tommy totally forgot about Eddie’s heat; the reason he was not on shift with Evan right now. He did not let go.

Three weeks later, Tommy came home to Eddie practically shoving a pregnancy test in his face. A positive pregnancy test.

“You’ll be a father twice, Tommy,” Eddie says and beams at him.

[laundryandtaxesworld]

Fuck It Friday Saturday

tagged by @quintessenceofdust88

it seems my lonely days are through

inspired by @cassatelle post here

BuckTommy | G | 2k

The truck took a sharp turn, and soon the monotonous high rises turned into houses and tall trees. The truck flew by and soon they were taking left and right’s everywhere. Buck looked out the window, the sun right in his eyes. When Buck blinked he was soon faced with an all too familiar neighborhood. Tommy’s. Buck stiffened and his eyes were locked on the window. Bobby took a second right. Tommy’s street. The truck parked in front of Tommy's house.

read on ao3

tagging: @peppermintquartz @perfectlysunny02 @livelaughlou @swagmaster9k @bidisasterevankinard @jamieroyjamieroy @unhingedangstaddict

@silversky9 @wikiangela @weewookinard

@exhaustedpirate @racerchix21 @lightfiretomypaperwings @littlepaws9 @30somethingautisticteacher @theotherbuckley @actuallyitsellie

[unhingedangstaddict]

More angsty mpreg oneshot because I kinda can't stop thinking about it

“Hi, is this Evan Buckley?” A woman’s voice came over the phone.

“Yes.” Buck confirmed.

“My name is Sheila Rollinson, I’m a nurse at West LA hospital. Someone who has you listed as their emergency contact has been brought into the ER via ambulance and is unconscious, which is why I’m calling you now.”

“Who is it? What’s going on?” Buck asked desperately.

“Thomas Kinard,” She said slowly.

Buck was already trying to think of the kindest way to tell this nurse that he was not interested, that she needed to find someone else to call because Tommy was not a part of Buck’s life anymore by Tommy’s own choice.

“We suspect he’s suffering complications related to his pregnancy, the doctor is with him now.” Sheila continued to explain.

(Read more below the cut)

“We’re going to be a family.”

Tommy’s words yesterday. It wasn’t ‘we are a family’ or ‘we could be a family’. It was ‘we’re going to be a family’. Tommy was trying to tell Buck he was pregnant. That’s why he suddenly needed to talk to Buck. That’s probably what he meant when he said he realized it last night. Tommy had just found out, and one of the first things he did was try to tell Buck.

And Buck was so caught up in his anger that he hadn’t even listened to what Tommy had to say. Because if he had, he would’ve noticed that wording last night. He would’ve understood what Tommy meant. If he’d been listening, he would’ve understood that Tommy was doing all this for their kid. God, if Buck had just listened to Tommy Buck wouldn’t have said he wasn’t interested or that he wouldn’t change his mind. Buck was too angry to even realize he’d told Tommy he wasn’t interested in being a part of their kid’s life. Tommy was crying when he left, and Buck did that. Buck caused that by saying he didn’t want anything to do with their child.

Buck felt like he could be sick. This didn’t undo all the hurt Tommy had caused when he broke up with Buck. But this did explain why Tommy contacted Buck two months later. Because while he thought Evan deserved better than him, Tommy knew he owed it to Buck to give Buck a chance to be in their son or daughter’s life. Yesterday wasn’t about Tommy’s wants or needs- it was about the baby.

“Sir? Are you still there?” Sheila’s voice came over the phone.

[diazsdimples]

Happy 9th week of pregnancy to Tommy Kinard who is still trying to figure out how to tell Buck that he found out he was pregnant the day after they split. Anyways, his baby is the size of a strawberry and growing muscles this week!! 💪

[typicalopposite]

we almost had it all

rated T | Trigger warnings: mpreg, blood, miscarriage

part one | read on ao3

Buck stirs; and the movement, coupled with a pained groan, is enough to wake Tommy out of the already restless sleep he was barely managing. He straightens himself in his hospital chair and waits for Buck to fully become conscious. “Hey,” he says softly when those gorgeous baby blues finally flutter open. Buck blinks a few times, taking in his surroundings, and tries to move; a deep, guttural noise escapes him immediately and he screws his eyes shut. “Easy there,” Tommy laughs, leaning forward to rest a hand on his shoulder, to ease him back down on the mattress. “You— you’re pretty banged up, Buck. Don’t move.” 

“Mmm…” he hums in response, shaking his head back and forth. “‘Vn… ‘vn!!” He furrows his brow and looks at Tommy, eyes sad and pleading; clears his throat and says… very intently. “Evan.”

Tommy stares at him, and feels his lips twitch, curling up ever so slightly, and he nods. “Okay, okay… Evan.”

As bright as the sun when it’s at its peak in the sky, with not a single cloud to hide its rays, Evan smiles. 

For now— at least for just a moment— it’s enough. Enough to take Tommy’s mind off the cramps the doctor in the ER said would probably last for a few more days. Enough for Tommy to appreciate what is here in front of him; what he can see and touch, that has a heartbeat and life… and not dwell on what has been lost. Enough to pretend— for just this blessed little moment— everything is going to be okay. 

*

Tommy explains the details of the accident to Evan. He tells him how the semi had run the light, and the side of the engine he was sitting on took the most impact. He tells him how the call came in and how he was prepared to fight someone if they didn’t let him fly to the scene. “My hero,” Evan laughs.

“Hardly,” Tommy rebuts, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I didn’t do much…” He didn’t do enough. He didn’t do the most important thing he was supposed to do. He didn’t keep their child safe. “B- But you’re safe… I’m so happy you’re okay…” 

At some point Tommy’s hand ends up in Evan’s. He holds it gingerly, like it’s a precious fragile thing he can break— he has broken enough of Evan already. He runs his calloused thumbs over the knuckles, and after a few moments teetering on the uncertainty of whether this is acceptable or not Evan finally splays out his fingers and intertwines them with Tommy’s. With that… Tommy carefully brings the hand up and kisses it— Evan uses the hold to pull Tommy forward into an actual kiss. 

He sighs against Tommy’s lips, and lingers there so long Tommy thinks he might have nodded off again until he finally hums like he’s content and Tommy pulls back to look into his eyes. “I’m so sorry, baby…” he says. 

“It’s okay…” Evan replies, and it’s really not… Tommy knows it’s not… nothing is okay. Not with the breakup, or Tommy running— Evan doesn’t even know the full extent of how not okay things are; would he be so forgiving if he did? He considers protesting, but Evan’s forehead is pressing against his and he seems so content with just being— Tommy can do that too, at least for the moment.

*

The moment proves to be short lived, and Bobby catches Tommy out in the lobby while Maddie is in with Buck, making her own fuss over him. “I talked to Lucy,” he says, eyes soft… and all too knowing. Tommy feels his throat tighten; he can’t even squeeze out a lame attempt at bitchiness towards her for blabbing his business. Somehow Bobby’s expression softens even more, as he reaches out and lays a hand gently on Tommy’s shoulder. “I am so terribly sorry, Tommy… If there is anything I can do— If there is anything you need… my door is always open, okay?” 

For a second Tommy feels that connection he’d felt way back when he was still at the 118. That strange powerful pull towards the new captain— something that was almost akin to how he suspected he should feel around his own father— that he never quite got the full experience of before his transfer. Tommy blinks at him, the lump in his throat too big, too wedged in tight to speak around, and he nods. 

“So is- is everything— are- are you…” Bobby sighs at himself, not seeming to know what to say. “How are you, considering…” 

Tommy shifts on his feet, and tries desperately to find his voice so he can lie his way out of trauma-dumping the past day and a half onto his former captain. 

He doesn’t want to talk about the miscarriage… He doesn’t want to talk about how, after the staff came out and learned what was happening, they rushed him inside, got him in a room— how they told him to try his best to relax; that his body should do the work… but if it didn’t they would have to intervene. 

Eight hours later… they had to intervene. 

He doesn’t want to talk about how he spent the entirety he was cohesive enough to think clearly… thinking about how Evan might be dying just a floor above while they scraped their child out of him. 

He doesn’t want to talk about how he felt so numb when they released him— how he winded up in the ICU asking for Evan Buckley, instead of going home. He doesn’t want to talk about how he took advantage of Evan's unconscious state to take in every aspect of his being: every dimple in his skin, every mole and freckle, every perfection and the imperfections, too. He is so beautiful and their child would have been so beautiful too. 

He doesn’t want to talk about it, or think about it… but he tells Bobby everything, anyway. He doesn’t even know why. He just starts talking and he can’t stop, and eventually he is talking and crying… and Bobby is just standing there listening; he lets Tommy have the floor, until he has said his piece. 

Then, without a word, he pulls him into a hug. 

And Tommy cries harder. 

He apologizes profusely, because he didn’t mean to cry all over Bobby, just like he hadn’t meant to cry all over Lucy— and like Lucy, Bobby assures him it is absolutely no problem. 

“Please don’t tell him…” Tommy finally manages to get out. 

“I didn’t plan on it,” Bobby says softly, rubbing a hand over Tommy’s back as his sobs, turn to cries, turn to just some shaky breath and sniffling. “But…” he continues once Tommy is calm. “I do believe you should. I think it would help with your grieving process. And I know that Buck would want to be a part of that with you.” 

Tommy feels his face crumpling again. “I know that, I just—” Tommy looks back towards the room. “I just got him back. I can’t— I can’t lose him again…” 

“You think you’ll lose him?”

“I lost his child…”

That’s enough for Bobby to pull back and give him a stern— but sympathetic— look. “That was not your fault, Tommy.” He stares at Tommy; Tommy knows he looks doubtful. He sighs. “Buck would never blame you for this loss… he’d more likely blame himself for causing it.” Tommy’s eyes go wide and he’s about to protest, but Bobby stops him. “That’s just Buck, he will find a way to shoulder the blame no matter what… but he would blame himself so much more if he knows you went through this pain alone. So I definitely think you should tell him.” 

*

Tommy waits until the visitors die down. 

He slips into the room after Eddie and Chris have left and gently pushes it closed behind him. It must be written all over his face because Evan immediately asks him if he’s okay. “No,” Tommy says, quietly, dreading this conversation already. 

“W- What wrong…” 

Tommy crosses the room and drops down into his chair, taking Evan’s hand between both of his. He licks his lips, but his throat is so dry it doesn’t help much. Words are nonexistent, his nerves are frayed. “I- I, uhm…” Evan is looking more panicked by the second and Tommy is starting to regret choosing this while he was still in the hospital, recovering. The bulky feeling of the massive pad the hospital provided reminds him he is also recovering and Bobby’s voice is in his ear encouraging him to go on. He laces their fingers together, and the first tear falls as he realizes— “I was going to tell you today anyway…” 

His voice is so small, he is surprised Evan hears him, but he does. “Tell me what?”

“That- That I was… pregnant.” 

It takes a couple seconds for Evan to register what he said. “You- You… what?” Another beat and he realizes the tense. “Wait… was?” Tommy swipes away at the tears, and nods. “You- You had a—” He quickly nods again before he has to hear Evan say it out loud. Now tears are filling Evan’s eyes, and he shifts himself towards Tommy. “W- was it because of— of…” 

“I guess the stress… and I- I probably should have never been the one to fly to the scene… I’m- I’m so sorry, Evan.”

“Wha— No… Tommy, no, it’s- it’s not your fault.” Evan squeezes Tommy’s hand, pulling him closer so he can reach up and caress Tommy’s cheek, running his thumb under Tommy's eye to catch the tears. “You should have never been put in that situation… I’m sorry about that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for either…” Tommy says, reaching up to hold onto Evan’s wrists; his lips tremble despite his best efforts to control it and his breathing is so shaky.

Evan nods. He moves over on the bed as far as he can and releases Tommy’s face to lower his guard rail. “Come here,” he says, holding his arms out to Tommy. 

“I’m not getting in your bed, Evan…” Tommy says, forcing a laugh. 

“I want to— I n- need to hold you,” Evan says, softly. “Please come here…” 

Tommy doesn’t fight that— honestly he’d love nothing more than to be held by Evan. He carefully climbs onto the bed, avoiding wires and Evan’s injuries, and eases himself up against Evan’s side. He feels the most at ease in Evan’s arms, that he has since- since the break up really… He lets his head fall to Evan’s chest and exhales; with it comes a sob, then another, and another. Evan’s body is trembling too, and he feels a tear fall from above him and land on his forehead. 

He carefully wraps an arm around Evan’s body, holding him close as they grieve what they’ve lost. 

They cry until they can’t cry anymore, and then they just lie there in silence, until Tommy thinks maybe Evan has fallen asleep. “I missed you so much,” Evan says, disproving the thought. His face is buried in Tommy’s curls and he presses a kiss against them. “I don’t want to miss you anymore…”

Tommy gently shifts so he can look up at Evan. “Me neither,” he says, and pushes up enough to capture Evan’s lips. He brings a hand up to hold Evan’s face while he kisses him, and he knows there is so much more to say— so much more to be sorry about, and work through. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. 

He hates that this is what brought them back together. He hates that they might come out of this stronger than before, but at such a great cost. He hates that they will never meet their child… 

But he has been given a second chance at a future with Evan… and with that, maybe, he can hope for a second chance at a family with Evan as well.

[ladyeyrewrites]

Bun in the Oven

Rated M

Chapter 1/4

2160 words

chapter One of the trans!Tommy mpreg episode 8X07 rewrite I posted a snippet of on Wednesday.

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

There was a knock on the door.

Buck frowned. It was a bit early for it to be Maddie and Chimney but maybe they’d lucked out with the traffic situation. He wiped his hands on his apron, stepped away from the stand mixer, and answered the door.

It wasn’t Maddie and Chimney.

Instead, Tommy’s broad frame filled his doorway.

Buck’s breath caught in his throat. “Tommy, hi,” he said. “I was just thinking about you.” It was true. Buck hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Tommy since he’d overcorrected after the whole Abby reveal and asked Tommy to move in only for Tommy to break up with him because of some bullshit about Buck breaking Tommy’s heart in the future. So, Buck had done the only logical thing: purchased a stand mixer and filled his fridge with baked goods.

Honestly, Buck wasn’t sure if he was more angry or sad about the whole situation, but he did know that his stomach still swooped at the sight of Tommy standing in his door and it took every bit of self-control not to lean in to give Tommy a kiss hello. Not to wrap his arms around Tommy and pull him inside and never let him go.

“Sorry, I should’ve called before just showing up,” said Tommy. “But I think I left one of my chargers here and I can’t find my other one. So, dead phone.” Tommy sounded on the verge of tears which seemed strange when he could’ve just gone out and bought a new charger rather than checking to see if he’d left one at Buck’s. But maybe it wasn’t about the charger, maybe Tommy just wanted an excuse to see Buck.

Or was Buck letting himself get his hopes up for no reason?

“I uh, haven’t seen it. But are you okay? You look like you’re about to cry.” He wanted to reach out and touch Tommy, to offer some sort of comfort, but that wasn’t his place anymore. Tommy had taken that away.

Tommy shook his head. “Mood swings,” he says.

“Yeah, well break ups will do that I guess,” said Buck.

“That and I think I’m still adjusting to my new birth control,” said Tommy. About a month before the break-up Tommy’s primary care physician had suddenly retired and Buck had helped Tommy scramble to find another in-network provider who understood the healthcare needs of trans men. It had been such a headache and then once they’d found a doctor he’d wanted to adjust Tommy’s dosages and change Tommy’s birth control method from an oral contraceptive to an implant in the hopes that it would lessen the daily dose of dysphoria Tommy got when taking the pill.

��Listen, Buck—” Tommy started.

Buck flinched. God, it sounded so wrong hearing his nickname coming out of Tommy’s lips. It made him want to scream. But he was trying to be mature about this. Trying to be civil. Trying not to cling since that was clearly what Tommy wanted, and Buck could respect that even if he hated it. “I found some of your shirts in the laundry,” Buck said before Tommy could say anything else that was probably going to break Buck’s heart again. “I was going to text you.” Which was maybe a lie, because sure Buck had thought about texting Tommy, but never about the shirts.

He'd composed texts with everything he’d wished he’d said to Tommy instead of letting him walk out the door that night.

Texts that devolved into spiteful rants.

<em>Miss you</em> texts.

<em>u up?</em> texts.

All deleted and transmuted into baked goods: cakes, cookies, scones, loafs, Baked Alaska.

It seemed Tommy wanted to look anywhere but directly at Buck, which was just another thing Buck had lost. Buck blinked against threatening tears as Tommy glanced around Buck’s loft, eyes taking in the subtle changes that had taken place since they’d broken up, until his gaze settled on the mess that was Buck’s kitchen island. “You’ve been baking.”

Sure, Buck had baked with Chris before to help out with a school bake sale since Eddie was so culinarily clueless, but he hadn’t really done it in his own time until he’d found out about Tommy’s sweet tooth. He’d been practicing to make something for Tommy’s birthday but then Tommy had to go and dump him. Bitterness spiked through him. “Yeah. Anytime I get the urge to call you, I just I channel the impulse into something positive, like Baked Alaska.”

Tommy’s face twisted with regret, eyes growing glassy. Buck wasn’t sure if that had been his intention or not, but maybe it would be good for Tommy to really see how much Buck had been thinking about him. So, Buck walked over to the fridge and pulled out three loaves, making sure the fridge door was opened wide enough for Tommy to see the extent of Buck’s foray into baking and how often he’d been thinking about reaching out. “Here, you should take some.” He plopped three loaves into Tommy’s unprotesting arms. “Here’s a lemon loaf, and a walnut loaf, and a pumpkin loaf.”

“That’s a lotta loaf,” Tommy managed to say. “Buck, I—”

“Hang on, let me go grab those shirts,” said Buck because hearing Tommy call him by his nickname rather than his name made him want to scream and he didn’t want to do that, not when Tommy looked like anything could cue the waterworks at any moment. So, Buck might have fled his kitchen, jogging upstairs to grab the reusable tote bag of Tommy’s tee shirts and flannels he’d accumulated over their six months together. That bag had been haunting him every night as he lay in bed – alone – trying to fall asleep, wondering if Tommy was also alone or if he’d already managed to find a rebound.

Buck hefted the bag and his heart panged. Once he gave this stuff back, Tommy would well and truly be gone from his life. There’d be no excuse for Buck to reach out. No trace that Tommy had ever been in his life save for the indelible mark he’d left on Buck’s heart. So, Buck did something maybe a little impulsive and indulgent; he snagged one of Tommy’s flannels out of the bag and shoved it under his pillow.

He was absolutely not going to bury his face in it and cry himself to sleep later.

As he was engaging in some of the most pathetic breakup behaviour ever, his kitchen timer went off downstairs.

“Buck, do you need me to do something?” Tommy shouted up the stairs, voice carrying over the shrill timer beep.

“Yeah, could you just grab the baked brie out of the oven?” he asked. He snagged his favourite Tommy t-shirt out of the bag and stashed it with the stolen flannel too. If Tommy was allowed to unceremoniously dump Buck, then Buck was allowed to steal his clothes and not return them.

Buck gave a satisfied nod and started down the stairs to join Tommy. He was halfway down when he heard Tommy gag. Buck looked up from his feet in time to see Tommy turn literally green before unceremoniously dumping Buck’s baked brie on the counter, bee-lining for the sink and vomiting down the drain.

Buck raced down the stairs, rushing to Tommy’s side and rubbing smoothing circles on his back before he even realised what he was doing. “Are you okay?”

“Are you sure that cheese is okay?” Tommy asked catching his breath. “It reeks.”

Buck frowned as he got down a glass and filled it with tap water for Tommy to rinse out his mouth. “Uh yeah,” he said. “And brie’s not a stinky cheese.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Tommy sagged, leaning against Buck’s counter. “But my sense of smell’s been really weird the last few weeks.”

A sinking feeling filled Buck’s stomach. This all sounded very familiar.

They’d always been so good about using protection and between birth control and testosterone Tommy hadn’t had a period in well over a decade. But there’d been that little lapse before Tommy had found his new doctor and oh, God they’d definitely had unprotected sex that one time when they were both a little tipsy after getting back from babysitting Eddie. “You’re pregnant,” Buck blurted before his brain could send his tongue anything more tactful to say.

Tommy turned white as a sheet, eyes going wide. “I can’t be,” he said. “We were always so careful—” he trailed off and from the way his eyebrows shot up into his hairline Buck bet that Tommy had just connected the same dots he had. “Shit. You might be right.” His hand went to the back of his neck in a self-comforting gesture and Buck recognised all the signs of Tommy starting to spiral that he’d steamrolled over the night Tommy had ended things.

The last thing he wanted was for Tommy to leave right now. And that was probably the last thing Tommy needed right now. “Okay,” said Buck. He put his hands on Tommy’s upper arms and gently guided him to one of the bar stools. “Sit. Breathe. I need to make a phone call and then we’re going to talk. Okay?”

Tommy nodded, gulping down an unsteady breath.

Buck fished his phone out of his apron pocket and dialled Maddie. “Hey Mads, you and Chimney haven’t left yet, have you?”

“No, the sitter’s running late,” said Maddie. “Why?”

“I’m gonna need to take a rain check,” he said. “Tommy’s here.”

“Oh!” said Maddie. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I don’t know yet,” said Buck.

“Well, let me know when you do,” said Maddie. “And take care of yourself.”

“Thanks, Mads,” Buck hung up and turned back to Tommy.

As soon as Buck’s eyes landed on his ex-boyfriend Tommy bolted up off the stool. “I should go,” he said. “You had plans and I should go.”

Buck took advantage of the fact that his legs were longer than Tommy’s and intercepted him before he reached the door.

“Buck move,” said Tommy. “I need to leave.”

“Nope,” said Buck. “I’m not going to let you walk away from me again. Not until I’ve said what I need to say, and we make a plan to move forward.”

“There is no moving forward,” said Tommy. “There is no “we” anymore. We broke up.”

“No, <em>you</em> broke up with me and left,” said Buck. “You didn’t let me say anything. You just decided on your own that there was no way I’d want you around in the future and then you left. Also, if you’re pregnant, I want to be there for you no matter what you decide to do, even if it’s just as a friend.” Because even though Buck so desperately wanted more, now wasn’t the time to say as much.

“It’s probably just a stomach bug,” said Tommy.

“If you really believed that you wouldn’t be running away,” said Buck.

Tommy flinched and Buck hated himself a little, but he needed to say everything that had been circling through his head in the time since Tommy had broken things off. “I don’t know what happened that made you think you could never be my last,” said Buck, speaking carefully so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret. “I know nothing I say right now is gonna convince you of the truth because now there’s maybe a baby involved and that complicates things, but I really wanted you to be my last Tommy. I still do. And this isn’t me asking you to change your mind about breaking up, but maybe it’s me asking you to trust that I actually know what I want. And what I want is to be there for you no matter what’s going on, in whatever way you’ll let me. Please let me.”

Tommy sighed and he looked at Buck so tenderly, despite the dark circles under his eyes that Buck had to dig his fingernails into his palms to keep himself from reaching out and cupping Tommy’s face in his hands to try to rub some of that fear and exhaustion away. “Okay,” said Tommy. He backed away from the door, returning to the bar stool at Buck’s kitchen island.

“I guess we should probably see if you really are pregnant,” said Buck, relief flooding through him.

“Probably,” said Tommy.

“I can run to the drug store and grab a few tests,” said Buck. “But you have to promise not to go anywhere.” He fixed Tommy with a meaningful look until Tommy met his gaze and nodded. Buck took his apron off and grabbed his wallet and keys.

“You promise?” Buck asked.

“Yeah, Evan, I promise,” Tommy snapped.

Buck grinned.

“What?” Tommy asked.

“You called me Evan,” said Buck and Tommy probably hadn’t meant anything by it. It was clearly a slip up, but it soothed something within Buck to hear Tommy call him that.

Tagging those who asked and those who seemed interested:

@silversky9 @unhingedangstaddict @ironspiderdad12 @beanarie @sporadicmakerwerewolf @azaharinflames @aisatsana441 @bugboybuck