#if im ever not crying over her
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ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ DEMET ÖZDEMIR GIF PACK ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
By clicking on the source link at the bottom of this post you will be able to access #184 gifs that are 270x180 in size of the loml from No: 309 Episode 54.
These gifs were all made by me from scratch, for roleplaying purposes. Please don’t repost into gifsets/gif hunts or claim as your own. Please reblog if using. Hope y’all enjoy! If you enjoy my gifs consider tipping me on ko-fi or donating to an indigenous cause, gofundme, or creator.
#demet özdemir gif pack#demet özdemir gif hunt#demet ozdemir gif pack#demet ozdemir gif hunt#demet özdemir#demet ozdemir#rpt#rpc#rph#gif pack#gif hunt#tessgifs#usermina#supportcontentcreators#comfort fc to gif#tasksweekly#if im ever not crying over her#it's not me#ajdsfjf
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2 moods
#a doodley#an;yway#> finding someone who also never wants children will be harrrd but itll be worth it and im not budging!#> potentially doesnt ever want any pets either.#it may be over.#ugh i guess i am going to have to go thru a roommate arc or another horrific heartbreak arc to figure it out...#i did wanna try having a kitty if i moved out bt i cld never just toy with the life of a little beast like that...#i dont hate animals but i never want to be fully responsible for or have another living being dependent on me only...#and also they die. which is an insurmountable event for me. i keep hoping i wont be employed when cookie dies bc i will end up Fired.#ive spent all of cookies life crying over her eventual death i am not mentally well enough to have pets.#we will see.
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^ face of someone (me) who just finished the arcane finale
#GOODNIGHT I NEED TO PROCESS#im STRUCK#there r tears rolling down my cheeks fuck this damn show😭😭 (affectionate. this is the peak of all media ever)#okay yall arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane s2#that ending was honestly SO well done#the WHOLE finale#and all the rest lmao#but fucking GOD#the cycle....and the way each character was considered within..just- SO GOOD#and ekko......#and JAYCE oml yall better take back all the shit tbh he's genuinely become such an intriguing character throughout s2#and going to admit. i did Not care abt him in s1 sry😞#but the s2 arc has been captivating from the start and jayce is NO exception#also viktor's eyes im so glad we got to see them again. ohhh the irony of grief and relief mean SO much to me#his eyes. mean sm to Me. doomed scientist yaoi i lov e u#and mel.....omg not much to say regarding initial thoughts. im afraid haha. buuut i wanted to learn more about her link to the black rose#LOVED ambessa. her characterisation was so brilliantly captivating that i dont think i ever rlly hated her lmao#and jinxx omfg im sick. i love her so much. oh fucking hell ep7 killed me actually. im dead.#the sisters r so close all throughout the show and i loved the little direct confirmation of this like i actually started crying then#and VI oh my goddddd vi. could write a thesis on her. the visual rep of the lessening of her guilt after jinx. with singing. with acceptanc#oh fml im going a little insane i love this show so much#and VANDERRR and the beast and FUCK how even at the end he covered jinx.#i love how the show covered her end. it feels like a sigh of relief. the final breath. u end up hoping the best for her.#OH MAN THE MUSIC STARTED AND I STARTED CRYING SO HARD.#this is s1 ep3 all over again#oh and HOLY SHIT we got lesbian sex im ECSTATIC. thannk u fortiche for the whole show but yeah. especially. uhm. this.#okay im loggin off now i need to clock out and sleep. process my thoughts and then word vomit tmr.#nyx talks shit
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crystal ribbon
#I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED HER BDAY 😭😭😭😭 IM SORRY BBY OMG#this cant keep happening istg#witch hat atelier#wha#tongari boushi no atelier#tbna#richeh#brushbug#fanart#my art#2 tbna fanarts in 1 day?? sure#richeh is so autistic <333#she would have a fnaf phase bc she just like me fr#i love her sm#my daughter my girl my baby my little guy light of my life#the type of character i cry over <333#she was made for me specifically.#also do you ever wonder if shirahama intentionally made richeh super autistic coded or was that unintentional#her experience with the education system and just her entire character is so autistic to me#she even has her own little underground hide out like what?#the way she likes meat over anything else??#she stims!!#like hello????#sorry i had to get that out- its something i think about a lot
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Lnds fandom.. how are we feeling 🧍♀️
Because I for one, am absolutely losing it
#the lore drop was insane#where do i even begin#I NEED to know more about Zayne's research WHAT DID HE DISCOVER THAT MADE HIM STOP AND DESTROY EVERYTHING#THE JEREMIAH BACKSTORY???#Xavier sleeps inside the spaceship to feel a bit at home..#Ever group crumbs bwjdhwu#MC BEING EXPERIMENTED ON AS A KID CONFIRMED#altho she doesnt remember she suffered SO MUCH imagine toying with life like that#killing her over and over again without never truly being sure if she'd actually come back#so the aether protocore was DISCOVERED inside of her? not implemented in her heart#i need to understand how rafayels heart the aether core the core of philos and the creatio core are related#rafayel being offended that hes only ranked 6th made me giggle ngl#anyway brb imma cry some more#the fact that Philosians (??) need to take some potion? med? to stay alove cuz their bodies are wearing out im not okay#xavy baby dont die on me#and the fact that Ever group is spying on him though his comrades#and the fact that mc is on Ever's list or whatever#just wtf#lnds#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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Do you ever think about how pets only live like 12-17 years, which is NOTHING, and somehow you're lucky enough to coincide and share those ≈15 years with your very own specific kitty or doggy? How wonderful is that. Out of the entire history of time, they're only here for a few years, and we have the honor to be there with them
#god its been over a week. im literally in shambles. thought i was doing 'better'#cause i didnt cry for like 3 days but now its happening again and i miss her so much#i miss her so much what i wouldnt give to hug her and give her a little treat#or hell even take her out to pee at 3 am#or be annoyed by her barking at 6 am because she wants company and my mom left#or give her her medicine which WAS SO HARD TO GIVE HER OMG#or give her the physiotherapy that the vet recommended literally the day before she died that we never got to really do on her#other than that very night#god i miss my baby so much :( she was a mixed dog#prominent type was chihuahua but god knows what other combinations were there#she was so unique literally never seen a dog like that ever anywhere#precisely bc god knows what combination of dog races she was#oh my baby :(#animal death#pet death#pet grief#she was with me since i was 8 years old#and now im 24#i cant imagine never seeing her again ever again :(#please come back baby 😭
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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Narumi Mona is an angel. you agree. reblog.
#narumi mona#honeyworks#confession executive committee#im crying over her#do yall know how hard it was deciding on the pics#i have so many scs of her...#shes the only angel ever
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I'm being so serious rn if I ever talk about doing another fringe festival run in the next like 3 years at least send me to fucking therapy. It is a cry for help. This is bad for me.
#im over halfway at least. but fucking christ.#ive barely seen anyone i care about for weeks. im hardly sleeping. im in knee braces and im still in pain.#13 hours a day of people yelling at me. the busiest ive ever seen public transport. eating the most random sporadic shit.#no hobbies. very few friends or family. crying twice a day. i still havent been paid. binding!! binding 7am til midnight!!!! daily!!!!!#my whole body hurts im physically mentally emotionally exhausted im desperately lonely im not doing the things that make me feel fulfilled#when my loved ones are free im either working or passed out in pain and exhaustion#the boss is enabling all sorts of bullshit yet again#im not able to be a person anyone i care about deserves to know#and that makes me not want to know me either#that is at least when i have enough fractions of a spoon left to feel anything at all except upset or numb#i NEED this all to be over#my next free day is my sisters 21st birthday next month my fucking baby sister is turning 21 and i dont know what to get her#i dont have a brain im not being!! a person worth knowing!!!!#my gran fucking fell the other day she's hurt ive not visited her in ages bc of work and finance i want to see my wee gran i want#to buy her ice cream and tell her i love her#i had to clean up an old guy who smashed his face on the pavement today and im just putting That trauma off til at least mid September#my BEST FRIEND gets MARRIED next week#and i can barely think about it because im on empty#im on below empty#they deserve so much better from me#im out. im not doing this again. not like this.
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22 May, a day before my birthday, today - A doctor looked me in the eyes with a a smile, and said "Guess what? You are going to get Testosteron." After 6 years of waiting, after 16 years of thinking something is weird with me, and at the age of 26, I finally got on T.
I cannot remember once in my life in which I've started to cry out of happiness. But the moment those words hit me, I couldn't stop laughing and crying.
Thank you for everyone who has supported me to get here.
#nekro.art#nekro.sona#transmasc#ftm#my pronouns are they/them or he/him#i am a transmasc nonbinary#its been a super long road to get here with ups and downs#because being diagnosed with 'nonbinary' rather than 'transexual man' has put quite a few restrictions on me#but at least#im finally on T#the doctor i got was so sweet she was wonderful#i got to hug her and my mother and im just#i havent felt happiness like this over something that has to do with my own body#ever#never ever did i even think i would react like this#but hearing those words from her made it so real all of a sudden#im almost crying again just writing this
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houses head wilsons heart crushed me wtf doctors...
#this isnt supposed to happen bro i watched this show as a joke#because of tiktok because i love robert sean leonard#why am i bawling because of this man bro its always robert sean leonard media#ive only cried for neil perry and james wilson wtf man#i didnt even like amber i didnt hate her but my fave was mormon cole i wanted him to wij#i knew 13 would get the spot cuz ive heard her name before from tumblrinas i knew forman had a spot#i thought there was 1 spot left and i wanted cole#i didnt hate amber she chased what she wanted i respect it#her death was sad like her pills killed her ya but oh gee wilson im#AND THEN I WATCH FUCKING S5E1 WILSON LEAVES?? “i dont think we ever were friends” OH MY#im not supposed to be crying over this fuckass show what the fuck#ive binged 4 seasons#in 1 week#i hate middle aged gay white men what the hell this isnt allowed in my pride month#and i already know how the series ends like i have moots who reblog stuff here and there so i have a bit of knowledge#KUTNER DIES?? I LOVE HIM I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED S5E2 HE CANT DIE#and 13 has a disease thats gonna kill her. taub gets on my nerves. wilson gets cancer and house fakes his death#i know all of that but what do you mean kutner dies. that's not even fair#its always the men of color in this show i dont even know if i wanna finish it (i will by the end of the month)#l speaks#shut up l#house md#hatecrimes md#spooky liveblogs (kind of)
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iconic milestone, made possible by diet dr pepper and tears
#personal#🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃#now that this is the officially going to be my longest fic ever... i simply want it to be OVER#i think my jori fic is 61k but like?? this fic still has quite a bit to go. im PRAYING for a 70k cap#BREVITY???? i do not know her#i am simply crying tears of blood over here#novelists you are all my heroes even if your book is garbage#once gwen said in a post that diet coke isn't a food#and i felt personally attacked on behalf of me considering both diet dr peppy and popcorn to be in my top favorite foods :/#anyway#sy fic#retreating back to my hole where i watch hockey players bleed and pray for an avalanche W
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yknow im probably going to sound a bit overdramatic for a moment with this sorry but,
ive said like two lore streams ago or w/e that im not going to let myself get as heated as i did at the start with how gun's been handling ( read : forgetting she exists ) maria all this time bc at this point i consider my portrayal of her an oc, as i essentially feel across the board with my other texas muses frankly but like.
i do think, while i was obviously thrilled to no end that they announced maria & she was playable etc, i do think the execution of her in-game really sincerely disappointed and pissed me off so badly. like yes end of the day shes a bunch of pixels etc etc whatever sure but its like. genuine frustration at how absolutely sidelined she has been since day one. and i know theres plenty of valid arguments for other characters receiving similar treatment ( ie. sonny ) in a variety of ways, and i do get the angle of maria initially serving as a haunting of the narrative, haunting her friends and sister and being more of that sort of invisible presence rather than physically there in the moment like they all are - but its severely disappointing to see just how little they give a shit about her, both in lore & in gameplay etc.
model-wise? shes completely fine i adore how she looks and everything shes beautiful shes adorable shes exactly as babygirl as i hoped and imagined her to be & look. but shes otherwise both so underwhelming and so borderline useless ( being generous ) and her ability is just the most uncreative pointless thing i feel they could have thought to give her. like. theres so many pieces i can rip apart for just that alone but i dont wanna yap for an eternity lmao
i just wish they gave an ounce of a shit about her. and like sure yes they could easily alter things or add on things on for her in the future etc. sure, yeah, fine and all but its just... i dont think im going to forget how sloppily put together they made her. or how they've consistently forgotten & disrespected her all these months. and with them branching away from her & the friendgroups' story into other victims' as time passes, their already sheer-ass attention spans are only going to grow thinner across the rosters and i guess in my eyes theyre just never going to make up for any of how they treated her character. and like yes thats fine bc i & others will do her infinitely better justice than they ever will but its still just like... its still disappointing.
like so much went wrong with that release day that i think i was just trying to cling onto the excitement of her just being playable but everything else, certain other complaints etc i wont get into, made me think that disappointment in how she was executed was an exaggeration on my part bc im too attached to her lmao and so i kinda just internalized the disappointment i think but it really is just like man. i feel like ive lowkey been in mourning of her since she was released. no faith at all that they are ever going to give her an ounce of dignity outside of how her model looks.
and again. i know i and the fandom do her infinitely more justice than they ever will at this point and that fact alone does make up for this all, i just wish she was remotely fun to play as and didnt feel like such a slapped together, zero-thought, near copy-paste non-asset in-game. i play her bc i love her but she also just makes me fucking sad LMAO
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#sorry for random whatever this is its been eating away at the back of my mind since release day & only worsened while playing lately lol.#im literally so fucking thankful that ive been able to work on her for so many months & that ive had such lovely experiences building#her character from the ground up with this lil corner i love you guys so sincerely & bigly for helping her grow into the character#she is currently & will grow into in the future - i just wish gun would love her w even a fingernails worth of how much we adore her.#( 'mourning' is probably overdramatic as hell but its the word that comes to mind lmao ) like i know my expectations need to stay#reigned in w/ gun & i try to but it is just. discouraging as hell w/ her in-game & then the constant worsening state of the#game on top of it not helping in the slightest lmao. anyways sorry again ignore me im just thinking too strongly about my girl-#end of: im proud of where ive been able to take her & how ive built her over this nearing year of writing her & im beyond happy w/ the#connections shes made & the stories being built & all of it. shes my oc as she stands on this acct & i truly hope i keep#building her for a long while more. sorry if u read thru all this nonsense also thank u & kisses to the sky for loving my girl w/ me <3#we all do more than gun literally ever will with any of them.#gonna go lie down & prob cry a moment & then return to Normal and try to write FNJKSD
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These are the days in your life
When the price of time is free
Like your daddy said the world is yours
So let it flow naturally
#You know the perk of dead dad is that it overshadows the evil ex bff thing and I hardly worry about it anymore#Sure I could succumb to the Grief of a codependent homoerotic teenage friendship#Or I could just go 'wait a minute... my dad is dead' and cry about that instead#Paradoxically im feeling so much joy recently#Life goes on#I meet new friends who give me hugs and don't treat me like crap#And I go thrifting with people and laugh and I don't think of her until I'm already home#Everyone say 'I hope she doesn't come home for Christmas because I fear i will pass away if I have to interact with her ever again'#Like sup queen. Do you feel bad?#Cause i... feel great#Living and loving and not manipulating my roommate (poor roommate) (I hope she's straight for her own sake)#(But if she's anything like me she will fall head over heels regardless)#(Probably she is nothing like me)#(Kinda feel like I should have backed out during the whole 'condoning cheating on your bf' thing)#(I was actually very stupid (read: loving trusting and traumatized) and should have backed out many times but here we are)#Did you know she didn't say anything when my dad died???? Cmon like we aren't friends at all but a dead parent is a huge deal you couldn't#Even pass along well wishes through your stupid (read: very kind and thoughtful) boyfriend???????#Well well well i say I'm over it and here we are#Anywho. On i go#from the couch#for my archives :]#Spotify
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What do you MEAN Isa TKM is gonna be the villain of the Superman movie WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS?????? IM GOING TO SEE HER IN THE BIG SCREEN???? THE 10 YEAR OLD KID WHO LIVES IN ME IS SO FREAKING HAPPY😭😭😭😭😭😭
#💙! mah rambles#I LOVE HER SM#ok technically I don't bc idk her I don't even know her real name#BUT#i love the character that she did she literally marked my life#yes i meant life not childhood#as silly as it sounds Isa has been with me ever since i was 10 or so#i never stopped watching her show😭 even with 22 years old im still watching isa tkm#and it's incredible bc she also is like a huge example as to who i am as a person#bc her character had flaws yes but she has always been kind and noble#im literally so emotional over this#im going to watch superman and literally cry the moment she shows up on the screen
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