#pet grief

[urgentkettle]

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Always In My Heart✨

Pre-Outbreak! Joel Miller x fem! reader

A/N: I lost my best fur baby today. October would’ve been 3 years since I adopted him. From a stray on the streets to a spoiled house cat. He battled so much. From FIV+ to broken teeth to diabetes and then to cancer. He was the best kitty ever and was my very own first cat, so he was extra special. I wrote a little one-shot to try to express how hard this loss is for me and to try to cope. I miss you, little Biscuit. Mama loves you 🥹 This is for everyone who’s ever felt the loss of losing a beloved pet.

Summary: Losing a pet is never easy, but you’re not alone because Joel is right there with you, keeping you afloat.

Word Count: 1.2k

Tags: Grief, love, soft Joel, losing a pet, angst with comfort, no use y/n, no outbreak au

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Drip. Drip. Drip.

   The misty rain pelts on your drenched skin, and you’re cold. You’re so very cold. You can feel the chill burrowing down to your shaking, fragile bones like they may break at any moment. 

   Thunder booms through the gloomy sky, lightning flashes in the far distance, and you swear you can hear the faint cry of a lost soul deep in the woods. Can almost hear your favorite meowing coming from the covered grave in front of you…

   The grey clouds completely cover the sun, the pattering rain seems to mourn just like the cold tears that stain your cheeks. You feel lost, broken, just like your heart is. Completely shattered.

   The crunching noise of the shovel meeting the earth is almost too much for you to handle. This is too much. On your knees, fingers curling in the hollow dirt, your jeans ruined from the muddy ground. And you can’t look up, can barely open your swollen eyes as you mourn the loss of your favorite cat who had made you so very happy. 

   He was your entire world.

   You miss him so much. The feel of his long, soft fur. He felt like velvet, smelled like a warm summer’s day, and you miss the way he’d curl up on your shoulder at night, purring with affection and love. You miss his little meows, the ones that would echo down the long hallway. It always was your favorite thing to wake up to.

   But now he’s gone. Faded into the afterlife when the cancer became too much. He was a fighter, the strongest fighter you’ve ever known. But now he’s just a precious memory. 

   And it hurts. God, it hurts.

   Your tears blur your vision, your face buried in your dirt covered palms, fighting the bitter sting of losing your best fur baby. You only had him a few short years. It wasn’t enough time. And now he’s gone…

   The sobs escape your lips, and you’re now a blundering mess on the ground, asking God to just give you one more day. One more day of long cuddles and top of the head kisses. And his slow blinks. The ones he’d give you every single time you told him how much you loved him. 

   You just want him back, but life isn’t fair, and pets don’t get to stay nearly as long as you’d like. Life is cruel, and you wouldn’t wish this awful pain on your worst enemy.

   You shrink against your drenched raincoat, not even caring that your hair is tangled and dripping down your back. You don’t much care for anything right now; all you can feel is the large hole that’s gaping in your broken heart.

   The rain continues to pelt down on your shoulders, your body shaking like you’re stranded in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. The frigid waters are dragging you under, and they’re about to swallow you whole.

   Just when you think the dark depths will win, strong arms encircle your back and envelop you into a warmness that soothes the screaming voices in your head. 

   “Hey. Easy now, sweetheart. Easy.” His thick, deep drawl shrouds you in comfort while big teardrops fall against his dark green flannel. He cradles the back of your head with one hand, the other gently drawing soothing circles down the middle of your back.

   “I… I didn’t get enough time, Joel. It wasn’t enough. I should’ve done more. He could’ve had more days. I didn’t…”

   “Shhhh. S’alright, babygirl. You did more than enough. You gave him the best life he could’ve had. Do you know how lucky he was to find you? You were the best cat mama I’ve ever seen. You loved him so much, and he loved you very much,” he coos, pulling you closer to where you can smell his woodsy cologne and a hint of tobacco wafting off his tongue. 

   He feels like home. He is home.

   “You really think so?” you sputter out, tears breaking over your lash line and falling onto his soft button-up shirt.

   “Look at me,” he says gently, his hand cupping your chin and tilting your face up to look into his soft brown eyes. Eyes that make more tears spill over the edge. He catches them, wiping them off with the pads of his thumbs and softly traces them down your cheeks until you feel warmth flood your insides. “You’re such a brave girl, my love. So very brave. And you were nothin’ but loving with that cat. Even made me fall in love with him, sweetheart.”

   You giggle, your breath shaky and eyes misty. Even when you’re sad, Joel Miller can make the rainy days turn to blue skies. “He loved you, Joel. He followed you everywhere you went in the house. Especially in the mornings when you made your coffee.”

   He laughs and shakes his head, his brown eyes a little teary from the memories. “Yeah, he sure did. And I’m gonna miss him a lot.”

   “Me too,” you squeak out quietly, gripping onto him like he’s your lifeline. 

   He leans forward and traces his plush lips against your forehead, leaving you breathless with the semblance of comfort he leaves on your skin. He’s like a blanket of warmth, and he’s just saturated you in love.

   When he pulls back to look at you, he pushes a wet strand of hair behind the shell of your ear and lingers there on your cheek, sparks radiating through his touch. “I love you, sweet girl. And I know this hurts. It hurts like hell, but you’re so strong and brave. You’ll get through this. It’s gonna take time, but I’m right here to help you through it. You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart. Maybe not today, maybe not next week, but you will be. And I’ll be here through it all with you.”

   A tear slips from the corner of your eye, and then you’re crashing into him, throwing your arms around his broad back as you sniffle into the soft material. “Thank you, Joel. For being here for me. For helping me lay him to rest in our backyard, for loving him as much as you love me.”

   His fingertips brush your skin, and then your head tilts back automatically, knowing what that touch means. He leans in and places a soft, lingering kiss on your lips, the kind you want to melt in, one that tastes like honey and longing and pure comfort. When he breaks the kiss, he places another on the top of your head and pulls you flush to his chest, strong arms enveloping you once more. And it feels like peace, a place you can rest and bring life back inside your worn body.

   Joel brings you to life time and time again. And this time is no different. 

   “‘Course, sweet girl. I’ve got ya, always. I love you,” he whispers, blanketing you in love that only Joel can make you feel. 

   Suddenly, you know you’ll be okay. It might hurt for a bit, but Joel will always be here. Even on your worst days, he keeps showing you that he’ll never leave you struggling. He’ll be here for it all, loving you till the end.

[wanderlustxprincess]

Pet loss is so insurmountable. You see and feel their absence everywhere you look. There are big things like the sudden loss of cuddles and companionship but it’s the small things that really get you. The leash and collar on the hook instead on the . The half-full container of food on the shelf. The water in the water dish you can’t bring yourself to pour out. The empty dog house and bed that no longer houses their imprint. The clean windows. The lack of noise. The sudden lack of sunshine because you don’t have to be outside for potty breaks.

[oonaluna-art]

I delayed announcing this. At the end of April, I lost my little buddy, Hachi. You may have seen me post him on my social media accounts over the last few years. This has been a difficult change, as I regarded Hachi as a member of my family, and I am continuously reminded of his absence. 

Hachi was an elderly dog. He might have been 15 years old. Hachi was adopted, but his actual age remains unclear. Nonetheless, any owner close to their dog is never ready to say goodbye to them. While his lifestyle slowed down, he maintained an interest in spending time outdoors and keeping up an appetite. Below the surface, he had developed less obvious health issues, which culminated in Hachi being put down.  

I’ve seen myself becoming withdrawn after his passing. I hope to be back to 100% soon, but this loss will take time to process. 

I miss him a lot.

[clusterfoxx-art]

there's something poetic about being the first to pick you up and last to put you down

[millerflintstone]

Some pictures of my darling girl 💜

Today has been long.

The waiting for it to be time was the worst. I cried so much and hurt and it was so hard to shove that away to not stress her out more. This cat pulled out her tail hair when I was stressed.

Unfriendly was concerned she'd be hungry and didn't want her to be hungry on top of everything, so he syringe fed her a little dinner last night and breakfast today. (🥹) She didn't really resist and did swallow her food.

She still had the ability to not wet herself. When I put her in her litter at 2 and the 4:30, she peed. She pooped a little last night but I had to hold her up.

This morning she did grip my finger with her left front paw a bit, but she was mostly checked out. I just got the tiniest flash of her.

When we got there, I realized I could have planned the cremation to be today and the clinic paperwork is what triggered that thought. The receptionist thought the place I had been using didn't offer viewing the cremation anymore but thankfully she was wrong. I was able to call them and give them the heads up to do a same-day cremation after the process was done.

The process was less alarming than Loki's but more than Diva's. Gigabyte possibly had nerve degeneration that was affecting her breathing and swallowing. The sedative made it so she had to open her mouth to breathe, which was not something I was expecting. Her muscle wasting probably affected her and being too sleepy probably strained her. She also had post-death exhalation that was new to me. Both Diva and Loki just looked like they just left peacefully.

They did a paw print and fur clip at her clinic and wrapped her and put her in a nice zipped body bag for us to take her. So surreal and yet also not. So we did.

The funeral director was the same man who also did both Diva and Loki's cremations. The viewing room has some seating. You can have a prayer read or not. She was laid on a table in front of us with some toys, covered with a blanket. He placed her in and I gave the nod for when it could start. You don't see anything .

I needed to see her placed. I needed to know she was starting her transformation from kitty to ashes. It sounds odd maybe, but that's what started with Loki and has continued. We picked her ashes up 3 hours later.

We wandered. Got breakfast. Got stuff at Lowe's and then picked her up.

And now she's home. There was other irrelevant stuff while we waited and after, but she's home.

[artby80]

Memorial tattoo design tor my BF and our cat that had to be put down tuesday 12/10/24

He was diagnosed with chronic UTIs due to dry kibble, which ended in Kidney Failure 😞. Rest in peace jellybean you will be missed but never forgotten

[zipperheart]

[squeesquoo]

Today is Dakota's first heavenly birthday. He would have been turning 16 today. Its been 6 months since he passed away, and I still cannot stop thinking about him and missing him. He and I did everything together for the full 15 years he was on this earth, and I loved every second of it. I just wish we could have had more time...

As some people may know, I'm a very spiritual person. Not religious, but spiritual. I have experiences with spirits and the like. I frequently have dreams about Dakota, and I believe he visits through them. This drawing is how he appeared to me in one, a few months back. As crazy as it may seem, he appeared to me in a human form, and this is kind of what he looked like. I figured it would make a meaningful tribute to him.

Happy Birthday, little buddy. I love you so much 💕💕

[tumble-tv]

I hope you're not in pain anymore, honey.

[dailydragon08]

My cat, Jaz, hasn’t been doing well for a while and is 17 years old. After some back and forth with her vet and the animal hospital, it’s time. Please send good thoughts (and I wouldn’t say no to some fanfic character comfort either).

(A pic from better days)

[thediaryofhenry]

It's officially 5 years since Poro came home.

He's also officially the age that Henry was when he first came home with me. This year has been bittersweet reaching new milestones without him, and especially given the age parallels. We miss him so much

[anxious-ruins]

my cat died two weeks and two days ago. I'm not okay with it, she was my best friend, her and her sister kept me alive through one of my hardest struggles. She wasn't sick, she wasn't old, she was so healthy, so happy and so beautiful, she just died. It's not talked about often enough how often this occurs with cats. How they can be completely healthy and then die without warning. Cardiomyopathy and lung clots are huge cause of concern in felines and I knew this, infact I often said I was prepared for this to happen to one of my cats... I was infact not prepared. I work in vet med, I live close to my office. We were closed that day, I had just been petting her, she was sitting her spot and I went to my bedroom heard a loud sound and my partner went to see what it was, she screamed and said something was wrong with pennywise, she was unresponsive. Everything I knew about vet med went out the window all I could muster up was call my vet, and then I finally started CPR, no shoes on I ran out the house we rushed her to office still continuing CPR, she was gone and I knew it, but i tried. I'm so traumatized I don't even know if I want to continue to work in vet med, I was so unprepared for my own pet. I froze. It doesn't happen like that at work but, nothing prepared you for your own pet.

Pennywise was the best cat. I got her when I lived in Florida, she was dumped under a dumpster, I begged and pleaded with my ex for this cat, she was my dream cat. Id always wanted a dark grey/blue cat and I finally got her. My ex left not long after, but the way she left was a mess, I'm at work with no vehicle, my phone had broke a few days prior, we had just deposited my check I was the only one working, rent was due, she left while I was at work, took all the money, left the apartment broken, took a cat, left me with no cat food or litter, she didn't just leave she did so in the most toxic way, taking one couch cushion and changing all the times on the clocks. It was awful, and I did not want to be alive but her and grim sitting in my lap purring away, I realized I was all they had, all they loved. So I stayed alive for them. She traveled from Florida for Indiana, to SE Kentucky, to Lexington, to Virginia, where our journey came to an abrupt end. I have cried everyday since, I have laughed at the memories, I've been filled with rage. I miss my baby, my sunshine. It took me months to get her to trust me, she gave me the most unconditional love for almost four years and I'll spend the rest of my life continuing to show her unconditional love, I'll miss her silently and with all of my voice. I'm not sure I will ever stop grieving this loss.

[janetsneedlefelting]

A needle felted Shitzu Dachshund mix dog "Tinkerbell" based on the pet photo.  Have a great weekend!

[scary-friend]

I keep thinking, “I should have done this” or “if only I knew.”

But I didn’t know. I went to bed that night thinking when I woke up I could see his smiling face again.

That didn’t happen, when I woke up I found his body. I didn’t even get to see him before it happened. I never got to tell him good morning, I never said goodbye, and I never go to be there for his last moments.

I was asleep when he had a seizure. He must have been so scared. He spent his last moments alone. I’ll never forgive myself for sleeping in. If I had just gotten up early like I would normally I could have been there. Sure he probably wouldn’t have made it, but he wouldn’t have to be alone. I’m so sorry Koda. I should have been there for you.

The house already feels so empty. Nothing feels right anymore. I feel like a part of me died with him. I keep hearing things. Like if I tune around he’ll be there, but he’s not coming home.

It’s not fair.

I should have been there for you Koda. I’m so sorry

[millerflintstone]

It's really weird in the house. Unfriendly and I moved out to MI in July of 1999. We didn't have any pets at the time. Diva moved herself in September of 1999. We've had at least one cat ever since. Until now.

Our plans this year are to get the hell out of GA and into NM. Will we adopt a new kitty once we've settled? We're not sure. I think I'll still want to foster but that's not something I want to start right now.

We both keep expecting to see Gigabyte in the house.

When we got home from picking up her ashes, I did start cleaning up some things. I threw out her upstairs litter box, some open and uneaten food, all of the different baby foods and wet cat foods that were in the fridge. There's more to throw out or clean and store away. There's stuff I need to return, too. There's so much stuff I can also probably donate to shelters. I don't need to wipe the fact she existed out of the house, though. Her water bowls are still up as is her window bed.

While I'm really sad, I'm also really relieved she's not suffering anymore. We both think Gigabyte didn't really want to leave us. Diva was ready. She was cognizant on her last day and purred while eating ham, but she was ready. Gigabyte was really trying to hang on and had we let her it would have been so much more painful for all of us, especially her.

I'm better at dealing with my guilt and regrets. My vet said I did more than 99.99% percent of people in terms of Gigabyte's health and well being. While I know she's right, I also feel I could've done more. That's the control freak in me. I have no power over the natural course of life, but I can't help feeling like I failed which is not the least bit realistic or healthy.

Today we've just been lumps on the couch. We've watched all of the first season of A.P. Bio (not bad) and The Continental: From the World of John Wick (meh). Maybe we'll find a movie to watch later. I can't bring myself to do any music gig work.

The day has just felt odd. The space feels odd. Not having a cat just feels unnatural but I also can't imagine bringing in a new kitty so soon. It helps some folks and that's great, but I need time.

Thanks again for all of your kind words.