#idk what to tag that even other than what i have
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yo this one is so cool thanks for the tag!
Actually, no, I wouldnât want to go back in time. My experiences shaped who I am today, and this is the version of me that Iâm trying to work on and help grow.
Skydiving, actually. Basic ass answer though đ
đ Iâve been zip lining several times, and it seemsâŠfun. Iâd just never do it unfortunately.
Iâd want to beâŠidk. Some kind of bird, probably. Flying would be cool.
Hm⊠Idk, actually. I donât watch a whole lot of movies that areâŠpleasant to imagine living in.
WellâŠnone, really. I always thought I had to know the source material before I could join the fandom space.
I wish I could colour things digitally, thatâs all đ
Valeria Garza
God my mum would kill me if I got merch whilst still living under her roof. One, she doesnât know Iâm in fandoms/on tumblr. Two, I donât have my own money to spend on merch. Three. Sheâs kill me for even knowing what cod is. Iâd want a shit ton of posters, though
Hm. Well, Iâve always said that Iâd wanna be friends with Roach.
All food is bad for you if you have crohnâs, my friend đ„Čđ
NOW, my questions for whomever picks this up next:
If you could change the way one word is pronounced in the English dictionary, what would it be?
What is one article of clothing you wish you could have two of readily available at any time?
Whats something you wanted as a kid that still holds relevance today?
If the effects of gravity did not apply to you, whatâs the first thing youâd do once you started floating around aimlessly?
If you had the ability to pick a fight with one letter, which one would it be?
Whatâs an animal (other than the basic family of petsâcat, dog, bird, etc.) that youâd realistically find lounging by your front door based on where you live?
If you and a friend were stuck wearing only one colour for a week, but you each had to pick for the other, what colour would you pick for your friend?
What is one book that youâd like to firmly argue not to judge by its cover or reputation?
If you had the complete ability to raise one specific kind of plant in your house/yard, what plant would it be?
What is one fantasy animal/creature youâd love to be able to pet/ride?
open tags from here, my friends đ
Ten questions to ask a mutual
Instructions: prev asks ten questions and you answer them, then ask ten new ones and tag ten people to keep the chain going! Iâll go first
What is the weirdest thing youâve eaten? (For me itâs the time I accidentally drank ants)
do you like purple or green more? (For me itâs a 50/50 I love them both)
what is your favorite two color color combo? (For me itâs purple and gold)
are you a cat or dog person? (Dogs 100%)
what is your favorite painting (Miranda by John William Waterhouse)
Mountains or beaches? (Mountains)
whatâs your favorite dessert? (Lemon bars)
are you right or left handed? (Right but I used to be left handed)
salty or sweet? (Sweet)
summer or winter? (Winter)
Iâm tagging 11 people but itâs whatever
@wra1th-k1ng
@bladevoyager
@tragedyanddust
@kindred-spirit-93
@urfavgreekmythnerd
@sickneurotic
@ry-diggity
@we-are-but-dead-stars
@thestarryfalls
@tamaruaart
@hermesmoly
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I think so many of the issues between book fans vs musical fans in the fandom come from the fact that people are pretending they're the same story, so people get really upset when they see one of their favourite characters being mischaracterized or left out, when in reality they are two DIFFERENT stories that share the same SOURCE MATERIAL. Like, I love the book. My blog is very much focus around the book, and there is a reason I don't tag my content with the musical tag very often, because the Darry Curtis I'm writing about is NOT the same Darry Curtis from the musical. And that's okay! It is! I know it seems crazy but they're both great characters, they're just not the SAME character. My favourite character is Steve Randle, but I haven't thrown a shit fit about how he isn't included as much in the musical because it's a different story, and because what content does exist for musical Steve offers lore for a very interesting character. Just like some people get all upset about blogs and content focusing on the soc characters in the musical, and I'm like I don't know what to tell you, I haven't even seen the musical and I know that the socs play a more important role in the story the musical tells than they do in the book; and that the musical universe makes it so it's far more likely that the socs and greasers COULD potentially have more aquaintanceships/childhood friendships/ post adolescent relationships than the book in which Ponyboy consistently notes that neither the greasers nor socs as a whole can see past their way of life to see the other side as people. Idk, I just think people from the book fandom and musical fandom need to just accept they're different stories, with different characters, with DIFFERENT messages and themes. Like, you really can't mischaracterise a character when the character that's being 'mischaracterized' is a different character to start with. Musical Dally isn't book Dally, full stop, but that doesn't mean that the musical character isn't fleshed out and deep and interesting and a complex addition to the musical, just like it doesn't cheapen the fact that book Dallas is the centre of the story. They just serve a different purpose, because they're two different characters in two different stories, neither one is 'better' than the other because they're NOT the same thing. I just wish people would stop vaugeposting and hating and othering each other, and it's getting the point where people need to learn to either engage with both stories or use filters to curate their fandom experience, OR collectively decide to split into two separate fandoms and tag stuff the outsiders book vs the outsiders movie accordingly, because I really love the Outsiders but all the petty fighting is driving me crazy , it's exhausting and it's making me want to leave the fandom altogether and I highly doubt I'm the only one. In the nicest way possible, please examine both stories for what they are, be mature, and act accordingly. Please.
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some more LU things that throw me for a loop,,
An artist I follow, wilimia, started a LU dnd AU, and then mentioned wanting to make it it's own thing. Shortly after, they received an ask,
"I'd be down for un lu-ing the dnd boys cause I got lu blocked ad hate how it affects most links meet aus, so yeah. If you do that I'd reach non lu audience. Most loz fandom doesn't follow lu blogs"
and idk, I get it, but it's also hard to read. So much of Wilimia's art is LU. It seems like something they found, and still do, find joy in creating for--and for years, too--longer than I've been in the fandom. "Most loz fandom doesn't follow lu blogs." Most loz fandom wouldn't have any interest in the majority of the art Wilimia's shared? Anon would prefer it to be non-lu? It reads to me a little like putting down or dismissing the art just because it's LU. Wilimia's art is amazing. I admire it so much. Their ideas are wonderful, too. And like many other pieces of LU fanart, there's a lot of exploration of comparing and contrasting the games, or analyzing the games, borrowing the LU cast, without explicit connection to the events of the comic itself. So much incredible creativity missed, because it is LU. LU's not for everyone. To each their own, I guess.
But I feel like so much interesting insight into the games is lost if LU fanwork is disregarded simply for being LU.
I also struggle with feeling like I have to choose an audience. I have ideas for pre-LU comics that would tell stories of fun moments from the games, during an adventure--but I want to use the LU heroes because I care more for those interpretations of Link. I'm blending my own game experience and opinion of that Link with what's been provided by the fandom.
I think the stories are fun and worth sharing! However, what tag do I use? It's the Linked Universe design and character, but it's also me, but it's also not Linksmeet or the LU adventure, really. It's LU, it's not LU, it's gen loz, it's both. And yet you'd get scolded for posting LU in the gen loz tags. I feel as though I must choose a side.
For example: there's a moment in OoS where a woman asks you to help her in exchange for a shovel. I got the shovel and then immediately dug up the entire map chunk surrounding her house. It would make for a good comic! But do I make it LU inspired or gen loz? I'd probably use a slightly more generic design for Link (Legend) anyways because he would be younger. Honestly, I could probably get away with barely changing the design at all, tag it as gen loz, and be praised for it.
There's a huge double standard when it comes to LU and Linksmeets. Both argue that not everyone has played all the games. All the interpretations and designs are unique and, at times, should be read as their own aus without worrying too much about adherence to the game or specific comic canon. Characterization and knowledge varies by writer. At the same time, no one person owns specific design elements or traits. Don't worry too much about being too similar. Let people make what they want. Every new instance adds to the wider understanding of the character and is therefore valuable.
Yet, by the people who dislike LU and its fandom and favor other Linksmeets, in LU fandom it's seen as an excuse, and in Linksmeets and gen loz it's seen as a strength.
The character of my comic could barely be LU Legend, and yet if it is LU even in name only, it is disregarded and unwelcome. The character could draw strong influence from Jojo's designs or LU fandom, and if I change one thing only but claim it as my own, it would be praised and defended.
Analysis and discussion in the LU fandom (especially from around 2020) brought me a better appreciation and understanding of the heroes and game similarities then any other kind of online fan created material had.
So for my mini comic- and going off of the anon's ask- what do I do?
I want my work to be seen. I feel like it is valuable to be seen by anyone who enjoys the games. I want to inspire people who see the comic to think more about the games and to create. I don't particularly care through what lense they connect with my gen loz / nebulously LU work--if they apply the situation to their own game experience, gen loz, or to any Linksmeet--if my work has connected with someone- has broadened someone's understanding of a game or character- then my goal has been met. Obviously use the correct tags and credit where credit it due, but if I am making pre-adventure or gen loz stuff, then I want to inspire. Write fic! Add the headcanon to your own! Just like- if you make something based off an idea of mine, include me! We are all building off of each other's stories. It is all inspiration. It's all the same soup.
There is no Linksmeet element. And yet, in my heart, I know the character will become some personal variation of LU Legend, influenced by a variety of fanwork, because that's the interpretation I favor.
If it's tagged gen loz it reaches the broader loz and Linksmeets audiences. If it's tagged LU then it stays within the sub fandom I know and care for. The thing is--it's a pre-adventure story, so it's not solidly one or the other. I don't want to tag it gen loz and have LU fans feel they aren't allowed to think of it as LU Legend. I don't want to tag it as LU and have it be missed by so many people, or have gen loz / linksmeet fans feel they aren't allowed to think to think of it as their own characters either. However, also, why should I be creating for an audience who would disregard so much of my and other's works?
Mina of Mina's Linkverse's recent posts have thrown me for a loop again. She's shared a headcanon post about Twilight Princess Link that delves into how Link, given his background in Ordon, might feel about turning into a wolf. What struggles, but also acceptance and joy, can be found in it. It's beautiful. I'd love to add it as another perspective into my understanding of TP Link--both solely within the game context and also more broadly across a variety of Linksmeets. It's one more way to further appreciate things I already enjoy. However, Mina opened the post with "Dont tag as L/U". Okay, don't tag, but am I allowed to borrow this and apply it to LU Twilight? I relate to it most strongly through that lense. It's a general loz post, and LU is loz. What if I were to apply it to Mina's Fangs, or Em's Wolf, or Frulle's Twilight? If I were to write a LU fic or draw a comic and tagged Mina as inspiration would she take offense? Would it be less of an offense if it was anything but?
Am I as a LU fan allowed to take inspiration from this and put it into LU fanwork? What about LU fanwork that goes more strongly into exploring these themes or situations from the games instead of the comic itself?
It just feels kind of feels like a whole perspective or group is being excluded. I feel like I am being excluded and that I am unwelcome. But, maybe that's just me being an entitled LU fan who thinks everything belongs to them and needs to learn to stay in their lane.
I've considered making multiple versions of the same comic. One that uses the LU design and tag, and one that does not, so that I'm able to reach and be appreciated by both audiences. But, I don't want to have to choose. There would be no difference in the comic but character design and name. And yet, that's all the means necessary to be completely disregarded.
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Are u trying to kiss me?
yunho x mingi
oneshot | mdni
1.1k
Where Yunho and Mingiâs casual hangout goes from tipsy laughs to full-on "holy crap, are we doing this"
nsfw tags under
m/m, bottom mingi, top yunho, dryhumping, friends to ?, alcohol, drinking, makeout, kissing, horny drunks xd, blushing, subtle touching, grinding, blow job mentioned, and idk what more lol
Yunho and Mingi had been best friends foreverâpractically glued to each other since middle school. Theyâd been through all the cringe-worthy phases together: the awkward growth spurts that left them tripping over their own feet, the regrettable haircuts theyâd both agreed were âcoolâ at the time, and crushes so embarrassing they swore to take them to their graves. Late-night ramen runs and arguing over the last piece of kimchi? That was their love language.
But tonight was⊠weird. Different.
Yunho had gotten it into his head to try out some new alcohol recipe he found online, proudly declaring it was a âgenius masterpieceâ that would change their lives. Naturally, Mingi volunteered to be the guinea pig. Free booze? Say less.
Now, a couple of bottles deep, the kitchen looked like a war zoneâhalf-empty glasses scattered across the counter, sticky spills everywhere, and Mingiâs obnoxiously loud laughter echoing off the walls. He was leaning against the kitchen island, cheeks flushed red, head tilted back as he lost it over something Yunho said⊠except Yunho couldnât even remember what was so funny.
All Yunho could focus on was Mingi. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the way his lips curled into that stupidly endearing grin, the way he looked so ridiculously carefree right now. Yunho found himself staring, his heart doing this weird little flutter thing in his chest.
âDude, youâre, like, bright red,â Yunho teased, reaching out to poke Mingiâs cheek.
Mingi swatted his hand away, still grinning. âShut up, Iâm not red. Youâre red.â
âOh wow, killer comeback,â Yunho snorted, rolling his eyes.
Mingi just laughed harder, leaning into Yunhoâs space without a care in the world. His shoulder brushed Yunhoâs arm, and for some reason, Yunho froze. It wasnât like Mingi wasnât touchyâhe was always in Yunhoâs space, throwing an arm around him, hanging off him like a human koala. But tonight, it felt⊠different.
âYou talk too much,â Mingi mumbled, his grin softening as his gaze locked on Yunhoâs face.
âWhat?â Yunho blinked, his voice quieter than he intended.
âI said, you talk too much.â Mingiâs hand landed on Yunhoâs shoulder, sliding down his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world. âI like touching you,â he added, completely nonchalant, like he wasnât flipping Yunhoâs entire world upside down.
Yunho blinked again. âWhat does that even mean?â
âIt means youâre soft,â Mingi said with a teasing grin, giving Yunhoâs bicep a squeeze. âWeirdly soft for a guy your size.â
âOh my god, youâre so dumb,â Yunho groaned, shoving him lightly.
âYeah, but Iâm your dumbass,â Mingi shot back without missing a beat.
Yunho froze. That wasnât newâMingi said that kind of stuff all the time. But tonight, it felt different. Heavier. Loaded with something Yunho didnât quite understand but couldnât ignore. And when Mingi leaned in, his face suddenly way too close, that something became impossible to avoid.
âMingi,â Yunho said, his voice barely above a whisper. âWhat are you doing?â
Mingi tilted his head, lips twitching into a lazy smirk. âThinking about kissing you.â
âWhat?â Yunhoâs voice cracked so hard he might as well have hit puberty again.
âI mean, unless you donât want me to,â Mingi said, his smirk faltering a little.
âIâuhâare you serious right now?â Yunho stammered, his brain short-circuiting.
Mingi shrugged. âKinda.â
âKinda?â Yunho echoed, eyes wide.
âFine, yes, Iâm serious.â
Yunho opened his mouth to respond but couldnât get the words out. His eyes darted to Mingiâs lips, then back to his eyes, and before he could second-guess himself, he leaned in.
The kiss started softâalmost hesitant, like neither of them could believe it was actually happening. But then Mingi made this quiet little noise, something between a sigh and a whimper, and Yunho was a goner.
Mingi kissed like he did everything elseâwith his whole heart. His hands slid up Yunhoâs back, pulling him closer, while Yunhoâs hands instinctively found Mingiâs hips. They pressed together, their bodies fitting like they were meant to, and Yunho couldnât stop himself from deepening the kiss.
Their hands wandered, exploring each other's bodies with increasing urgency as their kisses deepened. It was more intoxicating than the alcohol they'd consumed, and neither of them could get enough.
Mingi whimpered again, his hips moving instinctively against Yunhoâs. The sound shot through Yunhoâs system like a live wire, it was the hottest thing Yunho has ever heard and wanted to hear it again, he couldnât help but grind back.
Mingi's hips were unstoppable, moving faster and faster, heâd never felt this overwhelmed, this hot and bothered, not like this before.
Yunho must've noticed how frantic Mingi had become, and without missing a beat, he matched his rhythm. He slid his tongue along Mingi's neck, nipping at his jaw and biting at his ear, his voice low and teasing. "You wanna come, baby?"
Mingi's spine tingled at the sound of Yunho's voiceâdamn, he sounded so fucking hot talking to him like that.
âYunho,â Mingi gasped, his head falling against Yunhoâs shoulder. His whole body trembled, his nails digging into Yunhoâs arms as a broken moan escaped his lips. He stilled after a second, shuddering in Yunhoâs arms as he caught his breath.
Yunho held him close, one hand rubbing soothing circles on Mingiâs back. His own heart was racing, his head spinning, but all he cared about was Mingi.
âYou good?â Yunho asked softly, pulling back just enough to see Mingiâs face.
Mingi let out a shaky laugh, his cheeks flushed and his grin lopsided. âGood? Iâm amazing,â he said, his voice still breathless. Then his eyes flicked down to Yunhoâs lap, and his grin faded. âBut, uh⊠you didnâtâŠâ
Yunho shook his head quickly. âItâs fine. Iâm fine. Seriously.â
Mingiâs hand shot out, grabbing Yunhoâs wrist before he could move away. âNo,â he said firmly, his tone more serious than Yunho had ever heard. âLet me take care of you.â
Before Yunho could protest, Mingi was sinking to his knees, his hands already working at Yunhoâs belt. The alcohol haze was gone now, leaving nothing but raw, unfiltered emotion between them.
As Mingi looked up at him, his dark eyes filled with something Yunho could only describe as pure want, Yunho knew one thing for sure: this was, without a doubt, the best experiment heâd ever attempted.
#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez smut#mingi#yunho#ateez imagines#ateez oneshot#mingi smut#yunho smut#yungi smut#kpop#kpop smut#yungi#yungi fic#atz#smut
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Okay... So im going to make one post about this and one post only.
Ive been having issues in this community because of who i self ship with, thats a very vague way of putting it. Ive been made aware of a situation directly that has both equally caused me to get hate and ive noticed some mutuals of mine ignoring me more ever since it started. Under the cut since this is a long post
Okay just to start off first; clearly this must be a burner or something because going to this account directly, its the default tumblr blog theme with no posts or edited bio or anything. Im not going to respond to hate asks anymore, okay? I shouldnt in the first place but usually i tried to address them just a little, mostly wanting to understand why i was being sent it in the first place, my fault. But still. (I still blocked out the user just in case) just to note, this is not the only hate ive been sent in asks lately. I had to cut anon off again. But ig people will still find workarounds.
Okay. I DO NOT. want to cause ANY discomfort, jealousy, negative feelings, etc, just because of who i self ship with. Im sorry its made people uncomfortable because they share the same f/o but i do what i can to ensure they dont see me. I use the same exact tag on my self ship art and gushes and whatever, i dont interact with them, i have them BLOCKED or vice versa, hell i even try to not interact with their mutuals unless if weve already established being mutuals. I even have directly said- if anyone who follows me is mutuals with someone else who is uncomfortable with people interacting with me (or other daisuke self shippers in general) then you dont need to interact with me, because above all else im TRYING to consider the comfort of other people. I have never once tried to make people forcibly side with me, i have never said anyone else is invalid because of their self ship, i have never wanted anyone to be excluded and even, i encourage people to be mutuals with other daisuke self shippers as i can block said daisuke self shippers and they can be given my tag if need be because everyone deserves support. This has been going on for longer than it needs to tbh, i kept thinking i was the issue, i wanted to leave, but now im just .. upset. Whether its all from the same person or not, idk. But please know that above all else causing anyone to feel negatively because of me has never been my intention. Ive been extremely stressed out over this, feeling guilty and horrible, and sometimes aggravated.
Dont vague post about me if you know your followers and mutuals know who youre referring to. And even then, dont do it without first explicitly making it known that you dont condone hate being sent, but ultimately even if you do say that it wont always stop people. Please stop sending me asks trying to invalidate my self ship when ive never done that to anyone else. If youre mutuals with someone who is not okay with you interacting with me then respect those boundaries, because i am super tired of having to deal with the backlash of things im not even trying to cause. I want everyone to be comfortable, i want everyone to feel safe in their own space. But also i dont even feel comfortable in my own space now. I really dont wanna leave the community again tbh, ive made some close mutuals, i love supporting people, i love making my own self ship art and sharing it. But man, im tired!
Ive tried SO hard to keep this in private. I wanted it to be resolved without public notice. But even after i thought it was settled and resolved it hasnt stopped, and i dont even know if its from various people or not. Only very few people know more deeply whats been going on, and i hate that they were affected because of it too in ways. Whatever is going, just, i want it to chill out. Really. I have no ill will for anyone. If you see this and youre someone who has an issue with me you can dm me, ill talk it out with you.
I truly hope none of this comes off wrong, or aggressive or anything. I mean everything with as much respect as i can considering my current state. No matter what i dont condone harassment. I dont want anyone to be excluded. I want everyone to be supported and happy in their space. So please just know that, and if anything has come off wrong let me know. Maybe, im just not thinking the clearest so some things might seem rude or something. Forgive me if that the case.
Theres been ALOT going on the self ship community and i hope everyone will be okay. Dont worry about this if its too stressful, but if youre someone whose involved in this, i want to work things out. So. Thanks for reading if you did. Take care
#sorry you guys. i know alots been going on already#ily guys still; take care of yourselves#self ship community#cw drama#cw rant#f/o community
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i haven't written all week on account of starting a new job, getting sucked into an audiobook, and having to restart my crochet project, but here's a little bit of owen's intro from the survivor au!
thank you @annoyingcloudearthquake, @heartstringsduet, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @carlos-in-glasses, @paperstorm, @bonheur-cafe, @whatsintheboxmh, @nisbanisba, @carlossreaders, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @emsprovisions, and @futures-tense for the tags! i still have to go through and read them all and reblog but i will, i promise! đ
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Owen sizes up his own tribe against TKâs tribe. Thereâs a good amount of muscle on both sides, but if he were to hedge bets, heâd say that heâs probably on the better tribe, physically. His tribe is, with himself being the exception, on the younger side, and the big guy at the end of the line is going to be a tough one to beat in challenges, thatâs for sure. Thatâs not to say that brawn is everything in the game of Survivor â Owenâs watched enough Survivor to know this â but at least in the early game, itâs a huge advantage.Â
He peeks over at the other tribe, trying to catch TKâs eye to say hi, when he remembers that TK didnât want people to know they were related. Heâs probably right, but Owen just thinks that the truth is going to come out eventually, and it doesnât matter much anyway since theyâre not even on the same tribe. Plus, his ex-wives both say heâs a terrible liar, so heâs not sure how well he can be expected to keep up the ruse, but heâll try anyway. If TK thinks itâs better for his game, heâs going to at least try not to blow it up for him.
Owenâs attention shifts to the man walking up towards them, parting the camera crew like the Red Sea. Itâs the man, the myth, and the legend himself â Jeff Probst. Owen secretly thinks that heâs better looking than Jeff, and that heâs perhaps overly revered in the Survivor fandom, but still, as a long-time fan, he admittedly is a little starstruck to see Jeff in the flesh.Â
As they go through their introductions, Owen notices that the bulk of his tribe are firefighters, like him. He feels relieved â he knows firefighters. How they think, what makes them tick, and what makes them angry. Hell, heâs been a fire captain for the better part of the last two decades, and not to sound too cocky, but he knows heâs a good one. If he can take the lead on this tribe, heâs pretty sure he just hit the jackpot in the tribe lottery. Â
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just an open tag today since it's so late and idk who hasn't done it yet! đ
#not sure if my math on owen's career is correct or not but that is a problem for editing me#wip wednesday#911 lone star#911 lone star fic#911ls survivor au#owen strand
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Keeping a journal helps.
We recovered some memories while watching an interview of a man who'd been through multiple, repeated counts of SA as a child. Something his predator said to him, was something said to us as well. We just. Didn't remember it. Our situation was almost the same, both in the hand placement and words said. We don't remember anything but the feeling, and someone saying the words to us. Being frozen. We don't remember when or where or who. Not a single identifying detail.
Anyways. Whoever was fronting wrote in the journal about the memory recovery and trigger.
We wanted to remember more, and now we are. Just forgot to think about, y'know, the emotional effects of recovering memories. Especially without our therapist being available for an unknown period of time. It's been months at this point since we've seen her. It's out of her control, she's having health issues due to medical neglect by the local hospital. That place has been sued twice for malpractice. Love that. One time they cut off the wrong leg! Actually. Maybe not that far? But they were at fault for a local here to lose his leg when he went in just for a toe amputation. They kept failing to take care of his wounds so they kept having to cut off parts. Toe, then the foot at the ankle, and then the leg at like the shin, and then above the knee. That was one of the cases in the second malpractice suit. We knew that guy.
Anyways uh. Didn't mean to actually just throw all of that up but! I just type what pops into my head so whatever. I'll just tag for triggers there.
The point of this post: Keeping a journal to track moods and triggers and just write about your day is really helpful when you're a system or have memory issues in general. Even if it's nothing you think of any real uhhh consequence? Just writing about this or that, writing what pops into your noggin, is good. It's helped us keep our moods stable too, I think. Been absolutely vital since our therapist had to take medical leave.
#did blog#did osdd#did system#system#autistic system#did#did stuff#did alters#tw csa#tw malpractice#tw medical#tw medical neglect#tw amputation#does the amputation story border on being torture#like should i tag torture as a trigger?#it's pretty horrifying#idk what to tag that even other than what i have#journaling
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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can't believe fnaf brought me out of art hibernation man what a turn of events
#my art#clou's art summary#dca fandom#fnaf security breach#art summary 2024#ayo rant in the tags#like everyone else on this planet my 2024 was tough haha#but it was really good artwise#ngl going back to drawing and being unapologetic about it irl was liberating#fr i met some real irl grinches since going to uni#the kind that make you feel bad about liking stuff other than work#i sorta felt ashamed at first and toned it down to focus solely on work#the fnaf dca worms were too strong though lmao#ngl this fandom is awesome#like#last time i checked what was going on in the arcane fandom and this place is a straight up warzone#also it turns out people work a lot better when they're happy how bizarre#no but really this fandom gave me a good deal of confidence in general :D#like YEA i love robots they're so cool how could anyone not like them#YEA i watch arcane every weekend even though i have mixed feelings about s2 it's a literal work of art#though some irl peps used to make me feel bad about enjoying stuff now whenever i meet one i feel sorry for them instead#especially when you ask them about THEIR hobbies instead and they answer 'idk tiktok?' like bruh#hey you#yeah you#if you're reading this don't feel ashamed of your interests#it's not worth it fr#go crazy have fun#draw that character you like#make a playlist for them#draft that fic you were thinking about
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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When the only person who might understand what happened- understand. Not sympathize or empathize or comfort you but understand what happened, isn't there anymore. Or: 'A Man Made Me Do Something I Didn't Want To', for when you can't talk about it or look it in the eye [Patreon | Commissions]
#Tuvok#Kes#comix#idk how to tag this bc of the allusion#st voy#star trek voyager#bea art tag#comix page#star trek#this is not a one to one allegory nor is it meant to be - I am specifically focusing in on the loss of bodily autonomy that occurs when#Kes and Tuvok have their bodies taken over purposefully by men for various reasons which all boil to power. 'Because I could' and Because#they thought Kes or Tuvok wouldn't be able to stop them from doing so. Because they thought they had the power to do so so why wouldn't#they? But again this is not one to one - I interpret and will continue to interpret these instances in many different ways#But something that sticks with me in canon is how 'impervious' Tuvok is made - There is that scene at the end of Warlord which#shows that Kes is affected by what just happened to her - she's confused and hurt and doesn't know what to DO now that the in-the-moment#fight is over and it's time to just keep living and Tuvok comforts her but when he will go on to be taken over again and again and again#there will be no one to comfort him - no one HE can go to - and the narrative doesn't say that there should be. Even when he's#taken over by the BORG (an experience which had a lasting traumatic impact on characters like Seven or Picard - granted they were connected#for a lot longer) this is only mentioned offhandedly. One wonders why it occured at all. There's also how the other two main Vulcans#T'Pol and Spock - when they are forced to act emotionally or are in situations that affect their emotional equilibrium there is a big deal#made about it and they are hurt and ashamed and given some degree of care and comfort by those around them but when Tuvok#is forced into similar situations it is simply assumed he'll get over it - not even just by the other characters but the narrative itself#takes it for granted Ex: 'Workforce' where he forgets ALL his Vulcan training or 'Meld' where Suder's influence#unintentionally makes him lose it and try to kill him...THOUGH I think Suder hugging an unconscious Tuvok is perhaps the closest we get to#someone comforting Tuvok after he's been through that sort of ordeal. I'm not saying Tuvok would WANT others to be hugging him#and offering him emotional comfort etc (he's Vulcan) but I find it interesting that the narrative assumes that the black body (even alien)#is more 'durable' than its white counterparts. 'Stronger'. Assumes that there is no interiority which recoils and sustains the damage#when hurt. That there is nothing worth exploring because there is no impact from the impact. A crater lands and the Soil beneath it is#untouched
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I hate it when I headcanon a character whoâs canonically a girl as a trans man and make ships of him and a character whoâs canonically a guy and I refer to it as a gay/mlm/guyxguy/whatever ship and someone gets mad. Like omg let trans people have FUNNNNN. Why are queer headcanons and genderbends cool until theyâre saying that the character is trans???
âOMGGG youâre so misogynistic I canât believe you would erase FEMALE representation!!!â
and like half of the characters in the franchise are women, and a total of⊠NONE of the characters are trans men. Also, my headcanon doesnât change the source material. If my stuff upsets you, you can block me and go engage with the source or maybe every single other fanwork, since mine is the only trans man hc for this character that Iâve ever seen.
or when people are like âWTF??? this is so transphobic!!! how dare you imply that a character who looks like that could be a trans man?!?! do you think that trans men are women or something??? she uses she/her, and youâre misgendering her!â
No, I donât think that being a trans man makes you a woman or vice versa. Thatâs why itâs a headcanon, and the headcanon is that this character is actually a trans man and not a woman at all! Youâll never guess what pronouns most trans men had to use at some point in their lives, and you really wonât like it when you find out about pre-(or no-)transition trans men⊠or trans men who are in the closet⊠or trans men who donât know that theyâre trans yet.
âBut the character is a kid!!! Saying theyâre trans is sexualizing them.â
Iâve seen this one from other queer people. Like did you miss when all of the homophobes said this about your identity, or do you think that bigotry is only bad when itâs directed at you?
âWhy would you say âtestosterone could fix herâ??? Are you trying to call her a delusional woman?â
Why would your brain even go to that first? This literally has to be a bad faith reading, because thereâs no way that someone could see what I said and get this unless they were specifically looking for something to be mad at me for.
(Note for anyone unaware: âEstrogen wouldâve fixed him!â was a meme going around at the time I said this. Iâm not sure if itâs still super big, but this was a joke to the effect of that.)
âSo girls canât be tomboys anymore? You just wanna trans everyone?â
This is like actual real life transphobic rhetoric. This isnât even just shitting on my headcanon, but in fact, sending transphobic hate to a trans man. Thanks đ. Maybe you should go send JK Rowling another message about how much you loved her essay instead of bothering me.
#transgender#trans#trans man#transandrophobia#<- not all of it but the âitâs misogynystic to be a trans man!!!â part is. esp because itâs something that people say about real trans men#is this inspired by a Tik tok about how making male characters women is empowering and making female characters men is misogyny?#(although that post was weirdly about genderbending gay ships? idk why thatâs discourse going around đđđ. I miss old fandom sometimes.)#not exactly. although the comments on it sucked. Iâve seen multiple variations of posts like that and all of their comment sections made me#feel like I was wading through raw sewage with how full of shit the commenters were.#I saw one violently threatening anyone who portrays a canon girl as a man (in stupid Tik Tok speak)#oh Feng Min⊠oh Hilda PokĂ©mon⊠oh Y PokĂ©Spe⊠youâre all beautiful young men to me#nonbinary hcs also get you that last one super hard#I havenât seen as much of this about hcing canon guys as trans girls other than posts where op says âname a girl character who (blank)!â-#and then makes an addition that youâre an evil misogynist if you said a MALE!!! (even though Brock PokĂ©mon is a transbian to me </3)#which icks me out so bad. omfg. like sheâs a girl to ME!!! so maybe thatâs why Iâm naming her under a post about GIRLS!!!#I imagine that most of the reason for not hearing much about it is because these types of headcanons just⊠really arenât common#so if you have a bunch of experience with headcanoning characters who are canonically men as trans girls and the hate that it gets you then#feel free to add on (and also please talk to me about your headcanons⊠there are so few of us. we need to stick together!!!)#itâs not derailing despite this post specifically being tagged about trans men#thatâs just bc thatâs all that I talk about in my original post#this post has been in my drafts in different forms for probably like months#long post#I guess#anyone remember a while back when someone on this app got violently mad that someone put a character (canonically a guy) in the m/m tags on#ao3 bc the guy was hced as trans in the fic#and the post was like âgrrr the ao3 gender ship things are talking about GENITALS!!! not gender!!! Iâm not transphobic though <3.â#so now to imagine what itâs like to hc a character whoâs canonically a girl as a trans man just imagine that but itâs worse and also youâre#getting it from other trans people too đ
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found a goomy doodle i did a few months back--- it's unfinished but cutee (who's gonna tell goomy that they're weak to ice,, they're gonna get sick rip)
#art#poke's doodles#pokemon#pokemon swsh#pokemon xy#pokemon sm#idk if goomy appears in other games i'm out of touch with tagging just a pkmn on their own oopss#goomy#ily goomyy#i imagine most dragons to have less cold tolerance than most pkmn-#(excluding types like grass pkmn and such-)#fire + dragon may have some resistance but even then the cold chills them quickly i think#so goomy'll probably schlump off the sundae reaaaal soon to warm up lol#BUT if goomy could tolerate the cold - would they be a handy ice pack i wonder......#they're basically 99% liquid (not really but i remember the pokedex saying something similar-) so.. the liquid could cool and you could-#- in theory use them for headaches lol#me in the pkmn universe: aww geez i've got a headache againnn#*opens the fridge* *five goomys lined up in a case like eggs in a carton* hmmmmmm which one today......#.. if one was put in a freezer would they freeze faster than normal pkmn mass since they're both dragon type (weak to ice) AND mostly liqui#would they be a similar consistancy to an ice cube.....?#what IF THEY SHATTER NOOO#sry i got carried away what was i posting again-?
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Hiiii I saw you say you have Notes on your Remus and Janus designs đđ?
Could we see/hear some tidbits?
FOR SURE !! Here's what the original doodles for their designs look like, first off, (I know you didn't ask for Virgil but I did these three at the same time)
When I drew this I had just finished an exam and had to wait another hour until I could leave the classroom, so I wrote down enough notes that I had to flip the page instead:
Virgil:
- Virgil has light brown hair that he dyes black (badly). It is essential that the dye job look like shit. It looks artificial, his roots are showing, there's patches where the color didn't take, etc etc.
- He also has blue eyes, which I decided on mostly because it makes it even more clear that his hair isn't naturally black.
- He wears earrings, but his ears aren't actually pierced â they're fake little little clip-on things.
- He wears black nail polish at all times, but it's always chipped because he gets the cheapest stuff he can get his hands on.
- His hair (especially his bangs) get very long at times because he gets too socially anxious to go to the hairdresser. Back in middle school, he used to have Janus cut them for him (Remus could have done a better job but trusting him with scissors would have been a mistake). Now he mostly cuts it off by himself â it looks about as good as his dye job.
- Virgil's purple hoodie is a leftover from Remus' fashion design endeavors that Remus thought didn't look weird enough.
Janus:
- He has naturally strawberry blonde hair. The length is very important to him â he started growing it towards the end of middle school. (He allows Remus to experiment with hairdos sometimes as long as he doesn't cut anything off. I need to draw that sometime)
- I'm not entirely settled on his eye color. I know at least one of his eyes is a very pretty brown, but I have half a mind to give him a yellow glass eye for his left side â I'm not sure it'd make any logistic sense for his situation, though
- He got his ears actually pierced when he was 16.
- He also may or may not have a forked tongue. Not sure how I'd ever be able to show that off â but if he does have one, then Remus definitely was the one to encourage him to do it.
- His fashion style was definitely influenced by being around Remus (who may have used him as a mannequin/dummy because he's small.) so much. Remus also attempted to make clothes for him, but Janus is very fancy and picky, so he doesn't wear those clothes very often (though he might accessorize with stuff Remus made for him occasionally).
Remus:
- He has naturally very dark hair. He uses temporary/surface level dyes a lot, but if he's using permanent or semi-permanent dyes, he's usually limiting himself to the grey streak â it's kind of a sample strand, since it's already bleached. He 100% copied his hairstyle from Roman's.
- He (and Roman, of course) has greenish blue eyes.
- Janus paid for him to get his ears (and eyebrows) professionally pierced because otherwise he was just going to do it himself with a sewing needle.
- He has a lot of very shitty stick-and-poke tattoos he made/makes on himself. They're almost always hidden by his outfits.
- Speaking of which, Remus makes most of his outfits costumes himself. The quality of the work may vary, but they are always way too over-the-top for casual wear, because he stands out anyway, so... in for a penny, right. (As I said in the tags of a post: he is very creative and has no shame or social anxiety at all, so he had his whole aesthetic ("overdramatic green") figured out by the time he was 13)
- He also has SH scars, but, again â they're hidden by his outfits 99% of the time. He's a slut who never shows an inch of skin
#their design go in order of intensity Virgil â Janus â Remus#virgil likes to express himself but is too chicken to do anything too extreme so he's limited to softcore emo#janus is definitely fancier than most but he wears stuff i still definitely see every day at my uni#(i see people wearing corsets regularly at my uni idk what other people's experiences are. English litt major in a non-English country...)#(for those who don't know that's a gay as fuck major)#and then Remus looks like he's in the middle of a stage production every single day. with makeup to match#OH this is somewhat of a college AU ! Roman is also there and Remus' class does costumes for Roman's occasionally#Roman does theater and Remus does visual arts (design major/fashion minor bc there was no fashion major)#Janus and Patton are philosophy majors and of course Virgil is a psychology major#and then we have Logan in biochemical ingeneering for obvious reasons.#i have so much lore sorry for rambling .#anyway they keep a lot of their original designs because it just fits them#BUT i needed to include virgil having a shitty hairdo/dye and etc because he is. SUCH a try-hard in my mind.#emo sure. but he looks wannabe emo. it's Essential. he's fake ! he wants to fit in! with the gay kids sure but he still wants to fit in!#it's very clear that his hair is dyed because it's very clear that he is a wannabe. it is so important to me.#also the tidbit about him not being able to go to the hairdresser. is ALSO SO IMPORTANT. he pretends the shitty hairstyle is intentional.#even his signature hoddie is someone else's leftovers. He Borrows. From A Lot Of Places. but he doesnt have a real identity of his own yet.#you wouldnt guess while reading these tags but im actually way more passionate avout Janus and Remus than i am about virgil#it's just that i project onto virgil so so so much .#anyway SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE AGAIN. I KEEP DOING THAT#ask#idrawgaystffs#sanders sides#lbau#drawing#traditional#rant#do i character tag this. i dont feel like feel like character tagging this#OH AND thank you so much for asking !!! as you can tell i really like talking . about them
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it probably is insane how much I wish I could express the thing about spones. the vibes about spones. Like there's the joking fun fandom vibes and I love them, I love to play with them, of course of course. but the THING. the CORE to me. i wish i could capture it and share it.
#like. the constancy. like the friction matters because it's hand in hand with the steadfastness you know? and it doesn't preclude tenderness#also climbing into the mind of the person you've been obsessed with understanding and being understood by.#and the fact that it's lifelong. and the teasing. and the fact that the growth is in the allowance of imperfections#allowing that imperfections exist in who you love allows you to love them allows you to love yourself#and i always love people knowing what you believe and bolstering it when you feel lost even when it's not their philosophy#(bones asking spock hope? isn't that a human failing? and him not allowing that#spock losing himself to emotion in all our yesterdays and bones reminding him how antithetical that is to him)#but even with all that seriousness - the TEASING. the plain fun. the constant reaching out regardless of their moods#the constant seeking each other out. the almost - given nature of the relationship.#it's not in some ways as dramatic as a Simple Feeling as the When I Think of You I Feel Shame.#it's bones growing into old age the human way one day at a time with spock#when people are like oh spock just put his katra in him because he was there - yeah. and he was always going to be the one who was there#this is why the earth moon sun metaphor works for the triumvirate so much better than sun moon stars imo#bones is the earth spock is the moon kirk is the sun#'the captain was indispensable'#the sun - a distant lifegiver to them and many others. they do revolve around it. have unique relationships to it#the earth revolutes the sun which brings it life. the moon has a face it only shows the sun#and the moon revolutes the earth. their gravity shapes each other. they reach out to each other. they formed in a collision outward#in some ways are entirely different but have the same stuff in them. spin the same.#idk it just makes so much sense for them all.#but even just getting back to them. again just the obsession with each others mind.#'i will never understand the medical mind' 'mathematically perfect brainwaves'#and then complimenting each other always so startlingly out of the blue with their own fields -#'you have a good bedside manner spock' 'perhaps if they had your ingenuity they would have'#the seeking each other's advice out even if it's just to argue with it lmao. the motif of their last words always going to each other#even wrath of khan - we know spock was talking to bones in his head. i do always wonder what was in their tsfs reunion scene#that shatner didn't want to happen.#I don't know and even this isn't the heart of it.#there's the families and the way they fit into each other's conception and value and weight of family#do i even tag this spones. this is just crazy rambling.
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have been thinking about professor sol even. professor bufo with no clearly discernable lesson plan. sol bufo ostensibly martial arts professor who spent two weeks running a yoga and meditation program and shows up to the next class with crochet hooks for everyone. professor bufo who is technically supposed to be assigning grades to students but hasnt given anyone less than an A because "i think they worked really hard and they did a great job :)" (referring to the ugliest and most malformed pot holder anyone has laid eyes upon in their life). professor bufo who is on his way to cluelessly kickstart the sexual awakening of about half the cohort of the academys new students. sol bufo adjunct professor who is gone half the year and his first class back is so immediately and easily baited into going into a long tangent about how cool his friends are. sol who is pretty sure hes easily the most useless professor on campus and almost cries when he sees his little desk overflowing with thank you notes at the end of the year. professor bufo absolutely fucking gloriously hot in the tightest little sweater vest because there were faculty complaints when he wore a crop top to class.
#ramble tag#ive been. ive been thinking.#aum. ultimately i just think.#like launchpad was a place for sol that was . place where he was demeaned abused exploited endangered and used#but he needed a place like that. so badly . really it was like. what else did he have.? the lightkeepers?#sol needed a place that would tell him he had a family . and thats what launchpad was!#launchpad is. if youre smart and talented and hardworking and brave enough then people will love and respect you. and you can belong.#and even if it was conditional sol needed a promise like that so badly .... the life that he dreamed of being within his reach.#so. IDK. i just. think...... and maybe this ooc but . well its POST CANON SO I CAN DO WHATEVER TF I WANT.#i just like to imagine sol as a . like yeah he has a minus one to intelligence and hes silly and stupid and very often incomprehensible. but#like . the kind of person who radiates kindness and passion. and maybe more than anything. unwaveringly believes in you no matter what.#i think. sol is very much a person who . on some level recognises the things he lacked in his life and compensates for it by extending that#to others. loudly and proudly shouting all the time. i want to care for you protect you help you believe in you support you and love you#:-) so. despite him being a . real hot mess. i think he would be a good teacher. even if he does for some reason spend a month teaching#his martial arts class how to cook a mean pasta.#(and not even mentioning sol travelling over bahumia to find kids like him who didnt are in bad situations and need a place where they can#be kids. and extending them a hand ... giving them a home and a space to just fuck around and make silly pots instead of fghting to survive)#ahem . ahem ahem. but WHATEVER#anyway if this is ooc i dont care because . thog dont caare .#this is post canon and this is a sandbox for me to do my silly little tag-yapping
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