#idk that just made me so sad
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Ik it's a bit early but I can't believe it's been almost one year since this post
Btw yeah its real
#with the tiktok ban coming up i am a little worried that they will come here and be uhh#ya know... them#there were a bunch of people on tiktok saying 'oh my god i can ship megastar now?'#guys... you always can#idk that just made me so sad#that you arent allowed to ship toxic stuff unless its 'canon' like billford#come on hasboro you should do this again#people got mad last time imagine how many more would go wild#i would give my SOUL#transformers#official content#starscream#megatron#transformers g1#megastar#megascream#megatron x starscream#i was gonna post this for the actual anniversary but man those tiktok comments made me feeling#maccadams#sometimes i wonder how many megop and megastar people work at hasboro#ik theyre there but like... how many#i post on the transformers tag while having it blocked on tiktok im a hypocrite
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pegoryu valentine :3
#p5#persona 5#persona 5 royal#ryuji sakamoto#sakamoto ryuji#pegoryu#persona 5 protagonist#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#i made this last year LOL#sorry for not posting </3 i forget#idk when i'll post again</3#but beleive in me ... please.... its all i have...#i just finished a big assignment in uni im so tired#i typed 5000 words in two hours#anyways i like pegoryu ryuji would bounce his leg when hes nervous#i need to replay p5 games at some point tbh the motivation isn't there for p5 anymore sad emoji
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The completely unnecessary sequel to my previous Nitori & Mamizou post.
#touhou#touhou project#nitori kawashiro#mamizou futatsuiwa#reimu hakurei#me art#gif#she got so mad she didn't even use her gohei. sad.#idk why I've made so much content about this silly concept. I just like them a lot
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There's something so wondrously momentous about Style only saying his "I love you" now, when he realises that all the secrets he was keeping from Fadel are already laid bare.
He says this a significant time after Fadel has said his (and, in the context of the wider narrative, after Kant and Bison) and for the character we have seen as prone to glibness, exaggeration and flippancy with his words, that feels incredibly intentional.
Because this confession was the only truth Style had left to give.
Fadel is finally done playing his (poorly thought out) game, done with his (already cracking at the seams) charade, done with giving Style more opportunities to pull at his heartstrings with his earnestness lies.
Fadel is demanding the truth, and tells Style exactly what truth he wants to hear.
And the thing is, there is truth in this: Style's motivations at the start were wrapped up in a deception specifically targeting Fadel.
I know we, as a fandom, harp on about Style "doing all that for a car", but something I would like us all to revisit is what Kant actually says to Style when he first asks Style to "hit on" Fadel:
Kant: You need to help me. You know I don't usually feel this way about someone. And then shortly later, after Style refuses: Kant: Hey, hold on. (Kant grabs Style's hand.) What do I have to do to for you to help me out? Should I pay you?
(Please forgive my inability to gif and watch Style's reaction to this.) Style is visibly surprised and intrigued. Kant seems to be serious about this request, and I think Style decides to test just how important it is to Kant by asking for the one thing he knows Kant will not give up.
Just look the expressions on Style's face. We didn't have the context of knowing Style back then as well as we do now, but this is the look Style gets when he's throwing out a challenge (to Fadel), when he's trying to ferret out some new insight (from Fadel), when he wants to see how someone (Fadel) will react to whatever outlandish (provocative) thing he's said or done.
And when Kant agrees, Style even checks again if Kant is serious about going through with it -- and it's this that convinces Style of the sincerity of Kant's request.
Yes, the car was a factor, and yes Style also wanted revenge and to humble Fadel, but at the centre of Style's motivation has always been a plea for help from a friend.
In episode 1: Kant: Under one condition. You have to make him head over heels in love with you. Style: I'll do it. Not just for the car, but someone like him needs to be humbled by someone like me.
But in agreeing to help Kant, Style really was damning Fadel to play the fool because Fadel's feelings (his heart) was a commodity that Style was fully willing to play with back then.
And there are aspects of truth here too. When Kant tells Style about Fadel (and Bison) being hitmen, Style decides he's done and wants out. Kant reasons that it's more dangerous for Style to break up with Fadel now, because it would look suspicious, but crucially this isn't enough to convince Style.
So Kant, once again, makes the plea to friendship and to his need for Style specifically, and it is this that causes Style to finally cave.
But in doing so, the things that Style agrees to are:
Kant: Work with me. Help me get more information about them. Once we get that, it's done. Captain puts them in jail, and we walk free.
So while Style may not be directly working with the police, he is working with Kant who he knows is working with the police. By proxy, Style is involved with the police, but in front of the empty pool, he makes it clear to Fadel just what that involvement actually entailed:
Style: Kant asked me to take you out so you could leave him alone and he could freely investigate. Fadel: What did he get out of it? Style: I don't know! That ain't my business! All I was asked of is to take you out.
And this, too, actually is true! Since finding out, Style has literally not discovered a single thing that could be remotely useful to the police investigation:
He's found out that Fadel likes to gym at night. He's found out that Fadel uses tenderloin in his burgers. That he runs in the morning before going to the market. That he attends a grief support group.
But these were all things Kant also already knew and could have given the police if it were in any way useful for the investigation.
Even his attempts to get Fadel to confess to his "other job" (something the police also already know) were clearly in service of wanting to save Fadel and/or convince him to give up the life of crime in the hopes that Fadel wouldn't have to be sent away from Style to prison.
But the truths are tangled up in misunderstandings and Fadel's own assumptions now; and also further tainted again by Bison's own hurt over Kant's betrayal. And Fadel literally cannot see -- because his eyes are filled with tears [see: @thisautistic's gifset + my tags] (good grief, Joong, the actor you are) -- the honesty Style is bleeding from the marrow of his bones.
Because the truth is that along the way Style has also found out that Fadel is a good older brother. That Fadel is still hurting and bleeding inside because his parents were murdered. That Fadel wears his favourite bands' make up in secret because he cannot bear the thought of other's judgement. He's found out that Fadel misses Style, wants Style, and hates himself for it. That Fadel is afraid to love. That Fadel is acutely aware of his own darkness and cannot comprehend an existence that would not involve someone (Style) rejecting it. That Fadel does not believe that 100% trust is possible, but that he will get himself drunk so that he can offer Style as much vulnerability as he can physically make himself give.
Because the things that Style did find out were all the ways Fadel's heart is soft and tender and precious and worthy worthy worthy of all the love Style has to give.
And Style will stand firm on this truth because this is the only thing he has left to give Fadel.
Because Fadel knows, now, all the ways Style was unworthy of his trust, but crucially has not figured out the most important truth:
Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. -- Quoted from my meta post on the "One day, I'll be your 100%" line.
And as I alluded to in the tags on @yinwaring's insightful post: Style fully embodies the belief he espouses; because even in the face of a gun to his head and Fadel threatening to kill him if he will not admit that this, too, is a lie, Style refuses to give Fadel anymore dishonesty.
And this is because Style knows that the truth matters; now more than ever.
Because Style has had days to grapple with his worry after Fadel's disappearance. Style has had a week's worth of checking the diner only to face the regret he feels about not handling things differently. Style has had to recognise the terror of thinking he had lost something he never even knew he wanted in the first place.
And while Fadel had his realisation back in episode 4, Style never had to face this until Fadel vanished from his life and left a gaping hole in the shape of the absence of Fadel's smile.
So if this is what it takes, if this is the penance that Fadel demands of him, then it is a price Style is most happy to pay.
Because Fadel does not realise is that Style, too, now knows what it means to lose a love worth fighting for.
And in the war Fadel now feels compelled to wage against Style (because, yes, that's definitely still going on), the one damning thing Fadel has failed to recognised is that his only true weapon was leaving Style behind.
Which is why Style has already won. Not because Fadel's walls have crumpled again or because they don't still have a ton of things to talk through and work out (they really, really do), but because Style has already been stripped bare (and I mean this literally, like we all recognise THAT was the reason why Dunk is only in boxer shorts in that scene, right?? Like, I know we were joking about it, but seriously, that was so very intentional and a visual representation of Style being both stripped and, most importantly, freed from the lies he felt compelled to tell Fadel) and this means he has nothing holding him back.
And Fadel can wield his gun and his words and his anger and his hurt, but Style will die on the hill of the truth that he knew and understood and chose to love Fadel anyway, and saved this last confession for when he knew he could tell Fadel the truth without any lingering deception; and when the time is right, when Fadel is finally ready, Style will be there to welcome him back with open arms and, without any hesitation, an open heart.
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk ep 7#fadelstyle#stylefadel#fadel#style sattawat#thk meta#fadelstyle meta#style sattawat meta#joongdunk#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#i know everyone is probably so sick of me saying this but style is so utterly earnest and honest and GUILELESS and i adore him so much#and i know episode 7 was sad in many ways but it left me honestly feeling so TRIUMPHANT because style is finally FREE!!#he's free of the last obligation to the promise he made to kant#he's free from the guilt of lying to fadel and actively doing nothing to protect the man he was learning to care for#he's finally finally free to love fadel; simply and truthfully and earnestly and with his whole entire heart#and it will be like nothing fadel's fragile heart has ever experienced and everything he never knew he could have#and i am SO SO SO fucking EXCITED for that!!!!#// ALSO can we talk about how CLEARLY dunk makes the distinction between when style is being earnest and when he's intentionally#being playful/glib/exaggerating something??#like its so drastically different and idk i really appreciate how obvious it is because when he dials it down it feels very very real#like i don't just mean “quiet” because style is loud when he's explaining himself at gunpoint#but he's very honest in every single moment in this scene and i feel like that really comes through
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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Fascinating how Polites, the character who is the personification of Odysseus' optimism and is only in 5 songs, is more grieved and appreciated than Eurylochus, a character who is his own person and is in 11 songs.
#I'm being a hater but meh :/ it's just kind of baffling to me. Don't get me wrong. Polites plays his purpose for the musical#and it is neat how Jay took one line from him in the Odyssey and got silly with it and basically created his own character.#but like... All we know about Polites is that he's nice... that's literally it. He's Odysseus' optimism personified. which is why he died.#And it's not as though it isn't sad that he died. It's just that we got to know Eurylochus longer and truly get to know him more#is it because with how little people know about Polites other than “uwu sweetiepie” people like that so they can headcanon more?#is it because Eurylochus is “too complex” and therefore “not likable”??#idk. I'm gonna be burned at the stake for this I know it. but I don't understand it.#like during “Love in Paradise” it wasn't “Open Arms” that made me sad. It was “How much longer...” and “Waiting...” that made me sad#I mean I'm an “UwU sweetiepie” too (not right now though clearly lol) so maybe I'm “meh” about him because he's just “me”?#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#epic the musical#polites#eurylochus#hm. maybe I shouldn't tag this but I'm actually really kind of curious as to why people cling to him so much?
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listen. I know that thee ac2 ship is ezio/leonardo but please…consider…….ezio/machiavelli
the Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood novelization, Oliver Bowden
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#Machiavelli would take Ezio to the fun parties in Florence…….#assassins creed#ac2#komiks tag#AC machiavelli#ezio auditore#they’re in Milan here btw. not that it matters that much I just like Milan bc it’s where my beloved Ascanio Sforza is from#(I realized yesterday that I haven’t really been posting a lot here this month. idk! I was kind of going through a funk. still#going through it but it made me sad to notice that I had only posted like. two things. so I pulled this from the vault and#finished lettering it 😤)
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No but like every time I think about Splinter and what he had to go through just to keep the boys alive, my heart hurts for him so badly. Is he perfect? No not at all, but none of them are and by god does he love his sons.
The fact that all of them are alive, and grew to thrive despite the circumstances surrounding them is a testament of how much Splinter loves his boys. He raised four babies following the most traumatic time of his life, all alone with nothing but the sewers to house them (to hide them.) I feel like he’s not given the credit he deserves for all he’s done.
And I get that it’s easy to hold up his flaws and faults when it comes to parenting, I myself like looking into them because flawed characters are super interesting and said flaws make them more realistic and engaging, but he tries, and again, so many others would have given up on the boys or failed along the way but Splinter didn’t.
He’s their father, for all his faults he did his damndest to make sure they survived.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt splinter#rise splinter#he’s not perfect as I’ve said#and he’s got a whole slew of flaws and faults#but he’s a person - we are all flawed#he loves his sons dearly dearly dearly even if he struggles along the way to show that#parenting is not easy! especially as a traumatized mutant who is forced to do it alone#side note but I think this is one of the reasons why it kiiiiiinda ruffles my feathers to see so many people assign parentification to Raph#and in turn make Splinter out to be way worse and way more distant than he is in canon?#like idk I just don’t see what so many others see ig but maybe that’s just me#i guess my thoughts are like- let parents have flaws without villainizing them?#they’re still parents even if they mess up?#we can discuss the repercussions of a parents actions on a child while not casting that parent as an awful person#parents are peopleeee#I could go on but yeahhh#idk it bothers me seeing splinter’s efforts undermined when he’s been through so much#idk if ppl realized this by now but I love me some flawed characters#tho I do think in this fandom the ones whose faults are discussed the most are like#Splinter mostly then Draxum then Leo#of the main cast#and in Splinters case in particular his faults are made to cover his good qualities which makes me sad#because he is SO INTERESTING#they’re all flawed characters and tbh so interesting because their flaws are ALSO their strengths in many aspects
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arrives 15 min late with a latte
......sup
#yosuke hanamura#persona 4#cool now that its done i can ramble in the tags#fellas im surprised hes here and done#did not think that was gonna happen#fuck i forgot smth#eh ill fix it before i make my print#anywho i might make more i might not who knows not i#yukiko is the next one i have half an idea on but also i have some shining nikki designs rattling around with my sole braincell#i also made a shadow alt for the back but idk if i like the mouth so yall arent gonna see him#also i need to find a gold foil guy that does odd sizes and like moq of 1#bc i wanna do this in gold foil#and its tarot card size bc im dumb as hell#but i want a print for my wall and i know sure as shit no one else will want one hence the moq of 1#my heart wants to make the whole major arcana for p4 but my past completed works says °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝑛𝑜 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・#so whatever gets done will get done#also im gonna reblog this a lot bc i put in too many hours to get a singular note by me so like if you dont wanna see it block me lmfao#if you have any hot takes for future cards please share with the class bc i only have ideas for yukiko and a full cast she does not make fr#so uh yeah yeehaw#idk what else to ramble about but like cannot believe yosuke fucking hanamura is the first chara to get a completed piece in 5 years#im not fucking kidding#the rest were all quick graphite or abandoned#hes not even my fave in p4- thats naoto protag chan kou and nanako#boys lucky to hit top 5#he just kinda crawled into my affection like some kind of sad pathetic creature idk how it happened either#maybe hes overprocessed now that im looking at it#nope i looked too long this is it this is how he is#ill do better by the women i promise
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little me, we made it.
it took like 15 years, but we made it
#the one fandom i have kept away from my entire time being in fandoms#there's only 1 youtuber who's atla reactions i trust.#cause seeing negative comments based on mischaracterizations and misinformation is depressingly infuriating#it makes me sad but annoyed ya know#and i remember being like 12 and the way folks were about ship wars and hating aang for idk being a kid made me so sad#i just wanted to read fanfics of my boy and it was just so much negativity#not dc#atla#kataang
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vito
#alek art#total drama#td mike#2024#super experimental piece here... somewhat vent-ish#tw csa ->#vito's existence makes me very sad. a teen with a trauma induced disorder has an alter that shows up when he gets his shirt taken off#this alter is hypersexual#thinking about mike's biography where he said his favorite part of being a kid was being out the house... riding his bike#its messed up idk#mal fronting after mike gets servere head injuries (getting hit with a club -> getting hit with a shovel -> mike hitting himself w a rock)#a lot of bad things happened to him as a child (ik hes a system so thats a given) but even with what we see its just bad.#this drawing was mostly made w vito in mind but mike's inner turmoil and internalized ableism is also a thing here . multi leveled
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every time someone strips CA arc Gon to ' he is blinded by rage, let's forget his established character, it's gone! His existence is just the 'this boy is a monster' foreshadowings! His entire personality is revenge, he doesn't care about anything else!' I grow so sad.
#hxh#gon freecs#hunter x hunter#idk man... I just like gon :/#fics with incredible writing and premises have quickly made me lose all interest because of how gon is writen sometimes and it make me sad#on the flipside#whenever i see interesting gon interpretention i go 'OMG I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS I LOVE THIS' is so cool he is such a good character to#put under a microscope
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ah. it hurts
#kimi ni todoke#i knew this episode would wreck me personally but..... idk this.. this here just.. oh it killed me#grief is so.. its so... it eats you whole#and you really do think you arent allowed to move on or smile or eat#because you should be sad#my mom told me the story that about 2 or so weeks after my dad died#when she went back to work#her colleagues made a joke at the lucnh table and she laughed#and one of them said oh look she can already laugh again#and he meant it nicely but my mom felt SO GUILTY#can i even be allowed to move on with my life if someone died that i love#am i allowed to smile tto have wishes to be annoyed about things to be angry about things to complain#ah. man ah man. i love kimi ni todoke so much i can barely put it in words
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˚ ༘𑁍.ೃ࿔🪷🪕🪞🛺📜🪷🪔🦢🌙🦚。˚❀₊˚✧°༘
(Pictures not mine. Credit to owners.)
#desi#desi aesthetic#desi academia#brown#desiblr#india#aesthetic#desi tumblr#desi tag#indian aesthetic#moodboard#vintage#desi vintage#bro... i suddenly started crying because i just.. miss this vibe so much#idk things used to be so different 😕 its just so sad#maybe i will make another mb#i dont even care abt how flop all my mbs go anymore its just cathartic#jays bs#xx#made this mb and posting this right away this is a new record even for me#thats how crazy the breakdown was
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Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?
Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.
Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?
Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.
Cucurucho: Ha ha ha
Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]
Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.
Cucurucho: Maybe.
Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!
Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]
Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!
[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]
#Jaiden Animations#Roier#Cucurucho#QSMP#Jaiden#Animations Family#There is. So much I could say about these three#and so much I could say about their relationship / interactions with Cucurucho and Osito Bimbo#Cards on the table... I really would have loved it if Cucurucho / Osito genuinely cared about Jaiden#I mean I know they DID care about her to some extent that much is clear#But they / the Federation were also ABSOLUTELY using her. I'm not arguing that they weren't#But how could anyone not be charmed by Jaiden? The boba the tea parties the head pats–#The empathy and kindness and everything that made q!Jaiden who she was–#Cucurucho and Osito were tools of the Federation but I do want to believe they cared about Jaiden. Albeit in their own fricked up way#I dunno. I know this sounds like massive copium probably but I watched all of her and Roier's streams interacting with them#and I personally think that conflict and duality makes for a more interesting story#But that's just me and my own personal biases. I dunno how to properly put it into words but I am cradling them all close to my heart#I loved Cucurucho / Osito and I thought they were interesting and I'm SO SAD we'll never know what Jaiden did for them in the past#Anyways. For anyone who's read this far into my rant– you know how Cucurucho saved the Eggs and Jaiden said she died in Purgatory?#I like imagining that she survived the bomb and wound up finding the Eggs in the aftermath#and she helped them survive until Cucurucho found them#I imagine that Jaiden was the reason they were able to escape from the Island / The Watcher / ElQuackity#She stayed behind to slow down their pursuers. And Cucurucho rescuing all the Eggs fulfilled his agreement with Jaiden—#A promise to protect the Eggs#Like I said a lot of this is copium but that's what I like imagining#TLDR: Cucurucho / Osito did care about her in a weird way but that doesn't mean they weren't manipulating her#May 31 2023#Idk man I got a lot of emotions about q!Jaiden#Roier too but I feel like I've done way more analysis posts about him and Cucurucho. Jaiden needs time in the spotlight#Anyways there's my monthly tag rant
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