#idk maybe I am and I’m just a master manipulator without wanting to be

[candy-ac3]

That moment where you’re legit sobbing over the first response you get in a character ai chat because it’s just a little to close to you’re relationship with your father and makes you realize that you may have a little bit of daddy issues

[existentialsophism]

Ok so I’m gonna post this here bc my mom is giving me the silent treatment and it might hit (maybe idk it’s very long)

Neurodivergent Ramblings

I had so much shit as a kid like being told I was off topic and absent minded and wandering around the classroom and yet somehow nobody had me evaluated for anything???? You have a master’s in child development and you never saw this coming??? You fucking moron!!! I lost friends and my grades failed because of that. I had to figure out why I was so weird on my own while I was being constantly bullied and manipulated for being different. I learned to hate myself before I even learned how to socialize. I wasn’t physically abused but the mental strain of masking and trying to pay attention in classes was so draining I almost killed myself several times once I got to college. It’s made me wonder if life is even worth living. And now I find something that works and I’m not even guaranteed that I’ll be able to continue because I’m not a cishet upper middle class white boy who will perfectly slot into the diagnostic criteria. That and all my shit overlaps and is impossible to separate. And now that I know shit is wrong with me I can’t even fucking access the shit that makes it better. Oh you mean I need someone to professionally tell me I can’t focus in class?? I FUCKING KNEW THAT HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM YOU ASSHOLES?????? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE THESE RESOURCES THAT I CAN’T EVEN USE BECAUSE A DOCTOR DIDN’T CERTIFY THAT I’M NOT LYING ABOUT BEING DISTRESSED BY THIS????? DO I FUCKING LOOK DISTRESSED ENOUGH TO YOU??? I’M FUCKING CRYING OVER THIS AND YOU THINK I’M LYING OR SOMETHING???? I get not distributing stimulants without a diagnosis, I get it. But if the thing helps, and you’re a doctor who can control its dispersal, why don’t you just do it anyway??? I’m not even guaranteed a diagnosis because even though I have all of the symptoms it’s apparently not good enough for a self-assessment which doesn’t take into account the fact I also have autism and those two overlap/cancel each other out, which means I’m not guaranteed to get the shit I know would allow me to function like a normal fucking person.

No wonder I’ve never been able to relax, that’s an adhd thing. Even during sex or something I can’t relax, every single action is intentional because I have 15 separate thoughts at once about whether or not I’m doing enough or what I could do to make the other girl feel good too or whatever. I hate it. I want to just turn my brain off and be puppy, but I can’t. I have the autistic inability to turn my brain off and the adhd inability to relax. And it’s exhausting. I get headaches a lot from the sheer mental effort it takes to be alive. I’ve been awake for an hour and I think I’ve done more thinking than the average person does in their whole week. How lovely it would be for my mind to be quiet. Or even just for me to be able to control it. I can’t control my own mind so I try to control everything else in my life and get distressed when I can’t. I usually try to channel it into helping my friends and the people I love but I’m bad at that so it doesn’t even work.

I never really struggled academically as a kid because class wasn’t that challenging and I was privileged enough to have had a really strong foundation. That allowed me to look like I was actually able to hang in school when really I was just good at taking tests and not much else. I constantly forgot homework and materials for class even with my mom reminding me and half packing all of my stuff for me, I’d forget about projects until the night before, I’d have trouble with little details in later math classes which resulted in me not doing as well as I could have, it’s all shit that is part of adhd that not a single person thought to tie back to it. Because apparently you can only have adhd if you’re struggling in school or some shit. The autistic ability to control my actions didn’t help either since I could just mask everything “abnormal” about myself for my own mental and physical safety, which further contributed to everyone around me thinking nothing was wrong, and now everyone thinks I’m just trying to be trendy or label totally normal neurotypical experiences. Somehow they think that my suffering is just for attention or something?? Why would I choose to be like this? I hate it! It’s a disability! Why would I choose to be disabled?? I don’t get why neurotypical people think they can bully kids for being weird and then tell them everything they’ve been bullied for their entire life is normal actually. Why am I being gaslit by the entire world?

[hihopelessromantics]

The Learner Learns Nothing

In which the writing of Seven Deadly Sins expects us to believe that Merlin, the glutton for knowledge, is incapable of learning what really matters over the course of her 3,000 year journey. 

I wrote this inspired by @zeldriszezinho‘s comment on how Merlin was able to reactivate Elizabeth’s curse. The implication that Merlin at some point during the 3000 years gained the ability to break the curse and could have done it AT ANY TIME from that point forward absolutely blew my mind. 

If so canon Merlin is DEAD to me I swear that is so WRONG.

I've never seen a master manipulator character written like this before and I'm not even sure if this is a good way to write a trick villain or whatever the hell she was supposed to be. It sure is baffling so nakaba got that right. I was just as shocked and disbelieving as the sins were. Still am. Regardless of how well it fits her “canon” character and personality it is NOT consistent with the found family themes 😭 Plus it would make her RIDICULOUSLY overpowered... how would she have as much power as a god without serious consequences? And literately no one noticed, ever? Britannia started literately falling apart when Meliodas had that much magical power.

You know what I think I will jump on the hating canon Merlin bandwagon with you zeldriszezinho. I am stitching the Merlins from fanfictions together to make a better, healthier one as a present to the sins for all they've gone through together.

Merlin is just - ugh - it’s too sad. Everyone else gets to be, as the people who remember English class would say, a round character, including many of the antagonists! Tons of minor characters get memorable moments of growth, but Merlin, one of the major characters? She stays static for the most part. Trapped as a plot device until the very end. The narrative leaves her alone, torn away from her found family by an insane twist that I don’t quite understand.

 It’s like Merlin never gave a second thought to how the sins are acting. Ten years out of 3,000 isn’t a lot but someone as smart and observant as Merlin should have seen the way the other sins treat her. They knew close to nothing about her, and she constantly isolated herself emotionally and physically from them, but they never made a move to exclude her from the group, or pry too much, or question her origins. They just loved her unconditionally even though she wouldn’t let them in. There was so much raw potential for her character to have a unique and complicated bond with the sins as a group. Maybe it should have been the wakeup call she needed that the unhealed child inside of her could still learn to receive love. That it wasn’t too late to have a life outside her chaos obsession. Canon left us with a pretty unsatisfying answer as to why she acted the way she has. Like hmmm. Really?

Canon Merlin, you had 3,000 years to decide whether to seek help for your childhood trauma and learn how to love in a somewhat healthy manner and you want me to believe you didn't even try that route??? And that on top of that you effectively prolonged the torment of the only two people shown to love you unconditionally? Whom you supposedly loved in return?? Uhhh heyo! I don't believe you. And also I am holding a sword to your throat getting your shit together is no longer optional.

Sure Merlin can be seen as a character study of how obsession can cause someone to forsake all other aspects of life. We saw it in Frankenstein - saw what became of that whole spectacle and how quickly the perpetrator learned that they didn't actually want [insert here], they were just looking for that basic hierarchy of human needs and weren't ready for the responsibility that comes when using the pursuit of scientific advancement as a substitute for, idk, I think in Merlin's case it would be coming to terms with essentially being treated as a weapon due to her abilities. (meliodas and Elizabeth parallel anyone?? We were robbed of three child soldiers learning to love together and be a family smh thanks a lot gods ) anyway back on topic. What Merlin and Frankenstein have in common throughout their story there are a lot of opportunities that they didn't take, and friends that they kept brushing off, never confiding in them until it was crisis time. Frankenstein's story is a tragedy - he keeps abandoning the rational thought and commitment to ethics that make a good scientist. Any second during his story, while he was neglecting correspondence from friends, neglecting to sleep and eat and pay attention to his needs as a person that the obsession had tossed in the trash bin, he was free to say “hey actually I CAN spare a second from my neverending workload to breathe and think about what's important to me. Why I'm doing this? And how I could do it better. Have I learned anything in this latest deep dive into knowledge?” Instead he is ruled by his emotions, which in the end, keep him from properly emphasizing with other people and actually achieving what he wanted to do. I don't even remember if Frankenstein KNEW what he wanted to get out of his experiments. Probably not considering this the way he immediately freaked out when it actually WORKED. And then it was crisis time, so he goes to his friends, but does he confide in them what really happened? What part he had in it and how he feels about the whole thing? Don't think so. So they just think he's depressed as fuck and going a little crazy. They're completely unable to help him in any substantial way. 

We see this with Merlin. She has to have complete control of the situation at all times so she tells no one. If she can get this ONE THING right finally everything will fall into place. That must be what she thought. But what the hell? Knowledge is and has always been collaborative. We know she was never learning just to learn or for the love of it - it was a poor substitute for the love and attention a child needs to grow up with a good understanding of how to pursue fulfillment. So she was always aiming to accomplish something with her knowledge and all around her were people working together to accomplish something. Hell, she worked together with the sins to accomplish her goal. 3,000 years. She stopped her own time. Physically, right? Or was it mental too? The science there doesn't seem to work with the brain literately rewiring itself as it gets new experiences so. We're just meant to assume she spent 3,000 years trapped in the same mindset while traveling all over Britannia and interacting with God knows how many people. Just out of pure necessity to survive and obtain the information and tools she needs she would have to interact with a LOT of people. That's not even mentioning the people she did research on. And we're expected to believe she didn't learn anything that would make Merlin- smart, curious, motivated little Merlin who tricked two GODS on the OFF CHANCE that what they give her will satisfy the hole in her heart - didn't learn enough about human behavior to give abandoning love and true connection a second thought? Or even TRY to engage meaningfully with anyone? It's not like she had never made that connection with anyone before. What about Meliodas? What about 106 Elizabeths? 

This twist that Merlin might have been manipulating the Sins all along, rather than blowing the reader’s mind with the clues and clever foreshadowing that were there all along, blows a hole in the overarching themes in the story. Merlin’s betrayal is a catastrophe of the highest proportions because it calls into question EVERYTHING they learned up until that point. What she did would cause extensive trauma to everyone involved - all this time they believed that hey, maybe fate brought us together, wasn’t it so good that we finally found people that could understand us? And now they are questioning all of it. So yeah, emotionally, the twist does what it is supposed to. It hurts. But... it doesn’t make sense.  Being in the Seven Deadly Sins causes every other member to learn how to reconcile with themselves, their pasts, their feelings, and their relationships. Why is Merlin the exception? This feels like disappointing writing and a huge waste of character potential. 

It's not like abandoning all emotion and other desires was remotely necessary for Merlin to achieve her goal. She's had fun along the way and that's shown to us. Why are we given ‘i used to have a crush on Meliodas’ as a reason why she would give up on connection or whatever? Merlin that was literally 3,000 years ago when you were 12(?). You didn't talk to anyone about THEIR childhood crushes in all that time? And it's not like Meliodas ever stopped loving or caring about her. Even after getting his emotions stolen bit by bit he only abandons her and the rest of the sins out of necessity. Here she's got a good friend to confide in. And he's EXACTLY the kind of friend she needs if she wants to resurrect an old god! Meliodas is trusting, supportive, willing to Go the Distance for anything he believes in, AND desperate enough to consider extreme courses of action in order to break his and Elizabeth's curses.

All Merlin has to do to potentially get Mel on board is say, "Hey, some of my personal research has turned up something I think you might be interested in. The existence of an old god that the Supreme Deity and Demon King locked away because they feared her power and didn't want her to interfere with their goals.  I've been curious about rumors like these since I was a child, and now I have finally found enough solid evidence to confirm that this god exists. It stands to reason that such a god would be able and even willing to help with the curse on you and Sis-sis. Not a timely solution, but a good plan B or C. I'll be looking into it, and I'll let you know if I find anything that could help you."

What's Meliodas going to say to that? Probably, "Thanks, Merlin!"

He was not afraid of potentially starting an "age of Chaos" when his father told him that is what killing him would mean. Chaos is a mysterious entity of both darkness and light, good and evil, creation and destruction. Previously worshipped by goddesses and feared by the demons. Its agenda, if it even has one, is even more mysterious than Merlin's was before the big reveal. As far as I can infer, Chaos (without the influence of fantasy racism) seems just as likely to bring balance as it could bring upheaval. Something that Britannia desperately needs. And since Chaos is the mother of life in this universe, why would it destroy everything it has created?

It makes sense that if he had known, Meliodas would have been wary of this god, and warned Merlin to be careful, but in the end... wouldn't he have as much reason to help his friend as he would to stop her? Why continue on to release Chaos after the curse is already broken? Fair question. But why not?

Meliodas just wants to live in peace with his loved ones. If releasing Chaos means an "age of Chaos" will occur, well, that just means going back to the beginning, before the eternal game between the Supreme Deity and Demon King. So. The same unknowns that he's faced in his life thus far, except the two dictators manipulating everyone into an eternal war are replaced with the creator of life itself? That would actually sound pretty good to Meliodas, right?

Chaos is disappointed with the weakness of humanity but acknowledged it as, hehehe religious parallels my beloved, "the race most like itself, that embodies its values." Now, this could be 4+ years of religion classes talking but Chaos's previous goal before the Holy War seems to have been to create a race "in its own image." And it did. The question is, now what? I doubt this god is capable of being truly evil because why would evil create creatures with moral compasses? Evil cannot create good and vice versa. We the audience know what happened in Four Knights of the Apocolypse thus far regarding Chaos's preference to humans, but Meliodas and the other Sins have no reason to suspect the entity of chaos would ever go full genocide mode on its own creations. A god that creates all life according to a set of intricate rules (physics, etc.) tends to have patterns of behavior that make sense. Creating everything just to kill it all off doesn't really make sense.

Merlin could damn well have told the Sins, or even just Meliodas, that her goal is to resurrect the original god of their universe that was locked away by the Demon King and the Supreme Deity, who play with people's lives for fun and obviously freaking suck - without making herself look like she has a) gone off the deep end or b) working toward an evil goal that they should immediately put a stop to by any means necessary.

Instead, she just tricks Meliodas and the Sins outright in the most painful way possible. Wtf?

She doesn’t have a solid reason to hurt the people who love her like no one ever has. Who, in their own messy way, have treasured her like her own parents and her people never did.

The twist that her true goal all along was to release Chaos would still work, both as a plot mechanic and for shock value. What’s not shocking about your friend actually being serious about releasing an ancient god, and doing it so soon after Britannia was nearly destroyed by a Holy War? The Sins would have been shocked and hurt all the same with how she orchestrated them coming together, trained Arthur for this exact purpose, and prompted Meliodas to confront and kill his father - all things which were ultimately for the best for all of the races, but with Merlin’s questionable choices, involved a lot more trauma for everyone. Hell, if Merlin got a character arc like the others, the Chaos reveal would actually hurt the Sins MORE. Instead of realizing they didn’t really know her, they would be realizing that the sense of warmth and belonging and the bonds they had forged with each other hadn’t reached Merlin’s heart. That whatever effort they had put into bonding with her wasn’t enough, it didn’t help her the way she had - the way they thought she had helped them. That they had been oblivous to their friend’s suffering and emptiness, that she didn’t trust them the way they trusted her, etc, etc. A deeper and more cutting reveal if you asked me. 

As it is, the reveal makes it so that they didn’t lose a friend and member of their found family. They lost a person who was just... there. Forgotten until it was strictly neccessary for her to be there. Who never truly cared (?). While that’s sad, it’s... not what it could be if she had gotten the chance to genuinely be a part of the sins, physically and emotionally. 

It seems to me that in the moment, Meliodas doesn't seem overly concerned about Chaos. He's angry that Merlin would be willing to blindside and manipulate him, making light of a friendship that's spanned over 3,000 years, for the sake of something that might not even exist. He's angry she seems to value that over everything she already has. Is this the only thing she truly cared about? Was he and his loved ones nothing but pawns to her, just as he was a pawn to his father? Same with the other Sins - they don't know what's going on, but they are angry and hurt at the prospect that their friendship with Merlin was a lie.

THIS, Merlin could have avoided entirely! She is an intelligent, powerful woman - a genius according to some of the most powerful demons alive - and she has BETTER OPTIONS! Choices. By all means, she could have had wonderful, meaningful times with the Sins for all of their journey together, and kept them as friends afterward, maybe finding true fulfillment in the process. All without giving up her pursuit of releasing Chaos. 

She could have learned. Why didn’t she? 

[sepulchrally-handsome]

This scene was so short and light-hearted, but it awakened all kinds of turmoil in me.

Part of me is so happy that Zhongli clearly wants to spend time with Xiao, and that he’s carefully thought up a way to do that which Xiao will be able to tolerate without his discomfort in Zhongli’s presence causing him to flee. Part of me delights in how well Zhongli knows Xiao would never agree to fly kites with him simply for pleasure, so he deliberately frames his request to Xiao as “come help me with this experiment,” knowing Xiao wants nothing more than to be useful and so will easily acquiesce, because Zhongli wants to spend time with Xiao just that much. Part of me is happy that Zhongli avoids issuing Xiao any kind of direct request for Xiao to come visit him, knowing that Xiao would reflexively obey any command of any kind that came from Zhongli’s mouth, so instead he just makes a gentle suggestion.

HOWEVER. Part of me is already angry at Zhongli on Xiao’s behalf for utterly and irrevocably changing the nature of Xiao’s relationship with him, with no input or consent from Xiao. And it kills me (though this makes sense for him as a character) that he doesn’t see any hypocrisy at all in his unilateral decision to change Xiao’s relationship with him and to tell Xiao to stop using titles and honorifics with him, again without any input or consent from Xiao, all the while insisting that he and Xiao are equals.

This is not how you treat an equal. Zhongli is still acting like Xiao’s lord and god, expecting Xiao to obey his wishes, without discussion or negotiation.

Anyway, so this scene, while it makes part of me happy, also bothers me on another level. Zhongli is being manipulative. Zhongli is not asking Xiao to fly kites with him in a neutral way, which would allow Xiao the freedom to say yes or no — he’s carefully choosing the way that Xiao would be most likely feel compelled to say yes to, banking on Xiao’s eagerness to be made useful. Zhongli is not clearly stating his intentions in an emotionally open and honest way — like, “I miss you and would like to see you more often” — no, he says that Xiao “should” visit “the Parlor” (not “me” — more psychological distancing) more often, which implies that Xiao is being remiss in some way by not visiting as often as he “should.” He’s guilt-tripping Xiao. He must surely know that it will hurt Xiao to hear this, Xiao who for 2000 years has gladly suffered insanity-inducing agony in devoted service to his god. COME ON. Zhongli, you absolute ASS.

And then there’s the use of the phrase, “grace [us] with your presence,” which is usually used facetiously or bitterly……okay, honestly, between this and the word “should,” I’m now wondering what the Chinese original wording/tone is and how much is an English translation quirk. Maybe it’s better for my blood-pressure to believe the entire conversation is a translation quirk, idk.

ALSO HOWEVER. All of the above is why their relationship is so fascinating to me, and why even my dismay at Zhongli in this scene is still so enjoyable on a different level. I love all the issues their relationship asks us to consider: their journey as they transition from an extreme power imbalance to something closer to equality….what does freedom of will vs. compulsory obedience look like at all stages of this journey…..can someone who has always had extraordinary power ever understand what it means to enthusiastically consent to obedience…can someone who has always been under the command of a master ever be at peace with no master above him…

[All this especially interesting to me because I am fundamentally repulsed by power imbalances (personally and politically) and am deeply uncomfortable playing either a dominant or submissive role in relationships myself. What I love most about Zhongli and Xiao is that they are in this ambiguous transition period, clumsily moving away from the power imbalance toward equality, which gives them and us the space to reflect on all this at every stage of the transition. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t find them nearly as compelling if we had met them when they squarely in their god/lord & devotee/retainer stage.]

…If you ask someone to visit you, and he does, does this means he misses you as much as you miss him……if he doesn’t visit you, is that better or worse than if he visited you only because you asked….what if you know you could never know what he feels for you because you know he’s shut down all his feelings even from himself, in order to be of more perfect service to you….how much responsibility do you feel for his loneliness, for his grief, for the agony you and he both know will one day drive him insane….how much of the freedom from you that you want him to enjoy is for his own benefit, and how much is it for yours, so you can be relieved of your guilt….

…What if he needs you to ask him to visit you because he’s afraid you don’t want to see him, afraid that since you no longer need his service, you don’t think of him at all……what if he would never dare visit you without you asking because when you hurled yourself down from your pedestal, you also hurled him away from you, and he can’t imagine you would want to see him if he’s only going to remind you of everything you now most emphatically reject……what if he doesn’t know how to tell you how much he loves you except through obeying your commands, and you have told him you no longer need or want his obedience…..what if he doesn’t know how to live without you commanding him, and now only lives because of your command to live without his command….

Just….ashgjhdhajhsh…. THEM.

i still haven't moved on.

if we consider in the fact that hu tao didn't send zhongli to whangshu inn for sesame oil at last year's lantern rite, zhongli bringing this up a whole year later implies to me that he's curious if xiao has figured out that he's teasing him. but xiao hasn't seen through zhongli because he still holds zhongli in reverence.¹ xiao takes his every word seriously² because zhongli is still someone who should be listened to earnestly. xiao's "about zhongli" voiceline makes this very obvious. no matter what zhongli does, there must be a greater meaning to it all.

i can't believe that every zx interaction challenges the power imbalance of their previous relationship, as well as xiao's own view of it. hyv writers put their all into these two.

zhongli gently but firmly reminds xiao each lantern rite that he's no longer a god and shouldn't be addressed as such. last year, xiao still struggled with this. now, he corrected himself even though he was just thinking!

sure, he didn't drop the 'daren' but still a huge step forward.

¹aka world's slowest slow burn. they aren't even friends yet. well. in xiao's eyes at least

²last year, when zhongli teased him about how he should be the one referring to xiao by a formal title, xiao immediately shut it down ("heaven forbid!" hahaha)

[nais-doodles]

THE FINAL PRODUCT AHHHH. This took a lot out of me but I am so proud of how it came together in the end, ahhhh.

Here are the original sketches if you’re curious as to how everyone looked originally.

Obligatory ask for you to click through

And finally, finally, my headcanons below the cut, so ya’ll don’t have to be bogged down with them. Warning, it’s kinda long

Hi, I put off making pancakes to write this

Lucifer

Lucifer owns a private detective agency (Edit: It’s got a name now! Morningstar Detective Agency, courtesy of the lovely @impastaz309), and all the brothers are in one way or another involved in it

The agency works with the police in the more secretive cases, usually ‘important’ people going missing under mysterious circumstances, drug trafficking etc.

Though he’s the head, a lot of the time he’s handling paperwork which helps cover the brothers and his back, especially since some of the stuff they do, and links they have with other people and organisations, could be exploited at their expense.

He’s looking at satan btw lmao

Running a detective agency and also keeping tabs on his brothers is very hard ™ so Lucifer is just, tired, all the time. Please give him a shoulder rub and smooches

Mammon

Usually used as bait, believe it or not, therefore his existence is somewhat of a mystery. He has to keep a low profile.

If you asked someone in the street, unless they were really involved in the agency (which they wouldn’t be), has a high ranking in the police (unlikely), or any of the other organisations the agency associates with (probably not) they wouldn’t know he exists

Mammon is very good at his job, organising meetings with middlemen, smooth talking his way out of situations, getting even the criminals themselves to come and meet him without a mediator

He is only ever used when they agency or police know with absolute certainty that the person they’ll be catching will be arrested without fail - which is of course impossible to know, so it’s always a gamble when they pull Mammon out of the deck

Good luck dating him because this guy can’t really go in public for too long at a time

Leviathan 

He works at a newspaper agency, or at least that’s what they want you to think

In reality the whole reporter business is a front, and Leviathan is an information broker. Or rather, the head of a small group of information brokers.

The city is big, and one person alone isn’t enough to cover everything, but man is his group efficient

Every address change, every telephone call made, every booking of hotel rooms, all of it, he keeps tabs on it all

The information he’s gathered has helped the private detective agency out in a pinch many times, and will continue to do so in the future

“I’m very very busy, so please don’t call me during work, sweetheart. Especially not this particular number, that’s only for emergencies, and even then, it better be life or death, okay? Okay.”

Satan

Works in a bar. Specifically, a bar in a kinda sorta illegal underground fight club. It’s very illegal don’t let anyone fool you

A lot of the more questionable people of the city frequent this bar, and let me tell you, some people cannot keep their mouth shut once they’ve had a few drinks.

Anything Leviathan or Asmodeus can’t catch (don’t worry I’m getting there), is usually picked up by Satan via a blabbermouth who had too much to drink that night.

Satan is also pretty chummy with a lot of the fighters, and has a tendency to be the one patching up the milder injuries after fights

Therefore, he has a lot of favours he can collect, so if Lucifer ever needs some muscle that goes beyond what Beel can provide, Satan in there recommending a few of the more... smarter(?) fighters at the club.

Please don’t scratch his bar, he is a very forgiving bartender, but ruining the mahogany imported from England will have him beating the shit out of you 

Asmodeus

A bit of a celebrity, his rise to fame being both accidental and very useful

Think barbershop quartet, but he does a lot of solo work as well. The other three guys in the barbershop quartet are an absolute blast, and Asmodeus loves them to bits.

Originally, Lucifer was furious. How does he expect to work in the agency if he’s off singing at clubs and attending fancy parties? Then he realised something: Asmodeus can keep tabs on any of the more sketchy celebrities who slip through the net

So off into stardom Asmodeus went, attending lavish parties and singing at packed theatres, collecting dirt, formulating blackmail, getting only the best gossip and pulling favours along the way.

“Jen, hon, did you hear about Carter? Apparently, he’s sleeping with the daughter of the Chief of Police.” 

“Wait a minute... Asmo, isn’t she married?”

“She is most definitely married.” 

“Oh my.”

Beelzebub

Usually seen working with Belphegor, partially because, well, that’s his twin brother and he likes his brother, so why not?

And also because Belphegor always needs backup

Though he isn’t always with Belphegor, really, he’s just sent whenever Lucifer is wary of sending anyone in the agency somewhere on their own.

Think of Beel as a bodyguard of sorts. He is always there to stop things form getting physical if needs be, but he isn’t always enough on his own despite being an absolute powerhouse. So sometimes he’ll go around with someone Satan recommended too

They’re really nice actually, Beel was super surprised, you’d think they’d have no manners? (That’s because Satan gives you the nice ones Beel, thank him once in a while) 

They also all think he’s a marvel of muscle send from the gods so ya know. And they all get him cakes from that bakery he loves, so they’re all good in Beel’s book

Belphegor

You know the whole good cop bad cop routine? Yeah, Belphie is both depending on who you need for that current situation. 

Masterful in the art of manipulation, Lucifer uses him on the more tough to crack people who sit in the interrogation room

He is actually pretty good at shoving the fragmented pieces of a case together, weaving a story that gets the person being interrogated sweating bullets

Even when he is way off, he still manages to worm information out of the subject a lot faster than anyone at the police station. Point, private detective agency.

Like I said, he can be the good cop or the bad cop, though because he isn’t all that intimidating, he’s usually asked to be good cop

But dear lord he is a scary bad cop, and everyone in the police force and their mother knows it

If you got this far wow, hi, thanks! And you may or may not be happy to know I’m planning on another noir piece, this time featuring the undatables and maybe my mcs too idk yet

[carpedzem]

Oh, thank goodness, because I see lots on how c!Dream is evil and is obviously still manipulating people, but all I can see is someone who is broken, tired, and imprisoned for something he only half deserves without even a proper trial... Am I wrong for thinking that?

hello there nonny! here's short answer: no, of course not!

here's very long answer :D

all /rp

people can enjoy dark media and villains. it's fun! idk why we still have this discussion about villains. enjoying something problematic doesn't mean you are going immediately imply it to your life. even if Dream was just pure evil, people are allowed to like him! he is fun to watch in a sense of: look at his master plan! look how he does everything from the shadow! look how he is losing because he did bad things! so even if Dream was pure villainy it's still okay to like him!

that being said I don't believe Dream is actually only a villain. he is the same morally grey character like everyone. the only complicated thing about him is that we don't have his POV (but soon! :D). but even without it you can find pieces of his actions and sometimes even his mind and put them together to understand his character more. does it excuse his action? no, of course not. he did a lot of terrible things and he deserves consequences. but can we sympathize with him and understand why he did it? of course! exactly like with every other character! and that's why feeling for him, liking him, looking for explanations of his action is not a bad thing. it's a good thing and it might be, again, fun, because you have this very mysterious character!

also, the story is clearly setting Dream into something! redemption arc? better understanding of his action? I can't answer that but form the storytelling perspective, putting a bad guy though so much just to be back into villain story is just dumb. so yeah as much as Dream had fair share of manipulation I think (I said it before and I will say it again) they gave 'a manipulative Dream' closure during Disc Confrontation. most of his actions right now, with Techno or Quackity or Sam or hell, even Ghosbur are not manipulations. they are instincts of surviving and/or desperation.

and there is the whole thing of Dream being happy once, Dream being called villain before he became one, Dream loving and being loved, Dream having attachments, Dream trying to do the right thing, Dream's and Ranboo's connection but if we start talking about it I will never be back studying lol

when it comes to the deserving being in prison - no one deserves to ba in Pandora Vault. it's a terrible, terrible place, home of all torture. Dream did deserve consequences. and then he deserves chance of rehabilitation. he doesn't deserve being tortured. the same way Tommy didn't deserved abuse on the exile. but people have this twisted sense of justice. but this isn't justice. this is torture. literally.

there was never trial, because they were going to kill him for good and didn't because he might be useful in the future. they never pretend this to be fair imprisonment. but again, that what's justice was for them. for more hot takes in this matter consider: @/peppsta

in conclusion Dream is really tragic sad character. and there are people who like characters like that. and they are allowed to. no one is going to tell anyone who they might like to watch or sympathize with

here's cool meme that summarise it all!

and now I PRESENT: ✨ a few salty words about the fandom ✨

the whole 'abuser apologist' discourse is just a bullshit. I, a this point, don't know what apologist even mean because everyone has their own definition. I understand that Tommy is very relatable character, but someone's trauma shouldn't be reason why people can't enjoy media. also at this point I'm calling myself abuser apologist sarcastically because honestly, this is such an empty phase in the fandom, it's sad

'dream is hot/did nothing wrong' is a joke. made mostly by people who are tired explaining their reasons. I understand them because the first thing I learn joining fandom is that I'm a terrible person for liking Dream. however, if anyone uses it as a real argument (I heard it happens on twt sometimes? idk I avoid that hell site) I think they are a little dumb :)

Dreams apologists/systematizers/enjoyers/enthusiasts etc were through shit while others can do whatever they want and that's so annoying. we have to explain people that 'hey, torture bad, maybe?' while Wilbur apologists jumped Nikki's throat because she dared to say that their meow meow lied to her. that's b u l l s h i t

sadly we can't control fandom and we are going to see a few dumb takes from time to time. here's something that helps me a little when I'm annoyed why people don't see that they are clearly wrong.

if anyone is giving crap like, personally, block them. really. it's not worth it. fandom experience supposed to be fun! if you need I can recommend a few c!Dream friendly blogs! and they can recommend even more blogs! :D

and remember: between fictional character Dream, real people who enjoy fictional character and real people who attack other real people over fictional character - who is really a bad guy here? :)

[eldritch-elrics]

svsss: journey through the mausoleum (plus, zhuzhi-lang is a himbo)

got to chapter 65 last night!

as usually i have a lot to say i guess jkdhgsds i think putting stuff under cuts makes people scroll past these posts more? but also i don’t really want to be too annoying with my Many Reactions so cuts are a good way to go

tldr: loved the mausoleum arc, big fan of tlj, communication is good, and i have a new favorite scene in the book

binghe is extra as FUCK for bringing in all those rhino pythons

so i maintain that tianlang-jun should have been foreshadowed more/is introduced too late in the story, but other than that i think he’s a really fun villain and i’m a fan

for one - he’s the only one who’s able to hurt binghe :0 harm the protagonist...

which creates some Very Good Tension

count number one of zhuzhi-lang being a himbo: trying to sacrifice himself for tlj while being threatened

“is zzl really a himbo” you ask. well, yes. is he dumb? very much so. is he nice? absolutely. is he hot? well, i have no idea. i forget if he’s described as attractive or not. but, i think he can be if he wants. does being a little bit evil negate his himbo-ness? idk! i’m sticking with my assessment

i think i have a bit of a soft spot for evil henchmen

zzl also protects sqq from the corpses <3 good for him

it’s always fun to me when the system is like “wooo yay you fixed the storyline! cut the filler!” because 1. love seeing sqq lay waste to pidw and 2. the implications?? once more i am wondering WHY is the system so interested in making pidw a better story. (and the fact that it’s still calling his adventures in this world a story.) are sqq’s adventures being written down and serialized in the real world? are we as readers supposed to believe that scum villain, as a text, is a direct result of sqq’s “editing” of pidw?

uh, back to the plot

binghe wasted spiritual energy trying to preserve the mushroom/plant body :( come on man...

i really like the whole stretch of plot when binghe’s unconscious. it’s just so tense!! really well-done in my opinion - this is the first time in a while we’ve got a sense that lbh is in danger, and sqq is also running low on energy and stuff, so they’re both in bad places and the stakes are high

PLUS the hurt-comfort of it all. sqq trying not to hurt lbh’s body :(

the whole part in the coffin!! excellent. and the convo with meng mo... sqq calling himself lbh’s shizun finally...

cuddles <3

dying at lbh’s fuckin. boner. and the system’s REACTION it’s so EXCITED i am just. holds my head in my hands. i can’t deal with this novel

the confrontation with qiu haitang and the old palace master was very cool and intense. though i have to say i’m not really a fan of either “angry unreasonable woman” or “bitter disabled person” as tropes/archtypes (especially how sqq was reacting to the palace master’s condition). and poor qiu haitang! i have no idea if there’s any way to set her mind at ease other than revealing the whole transmigration thing. i do hope she’ll turn up again and get a better ending?

so the plague city sqq callout party is once again not directly lbh’s fault! the old palace master is the one to blame!

SO ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS IN THE BIT I READ LAST NIGHT. is. sqq realizing that he could utilize lbh’s plot armor to his advantage. but then deciding that he doesn’t want to take that risk. doesn’t want to use lbh’s body as a prop!!!

character development :D

he’s really starting to see lbh as a person as opposed to a character! and being less selfish/survival-oriented...

man. sqq, almost beaten, lying on the ground holding binghe in his arms........ :(((

so is the implication that lbh injured/took revenge on the old palace master because the palace master was being creepy to him about his mom? it’s a bit vague but that’s my theory. weirdo old man...

speaking of people lbh killed. maybe it will be revealed that gongyi xiao is actually alive too :( i’m still salty about that

SO MUCH DEMON BLOOD. poor sqq

so i don’t think i got how sqq was able to free himself from zzl’s blood manipulation? was it because binghe woke up and subdued it?

binghe waking up was a lil deus-ex-machina-y lol i would have liked to see some sort of trigger for it (even a cheesy one). like i get why he’s ok and no longer hurt (protagonist powers!) but like, gimme a reason for the shift to happen at that precise moment...

but AAAAAA FINALLY THEY ARE TALKING

lbh realizes how much sqq went through to save him :( and he’s so happy he didn’t get abandoned!!!! aaaaaa my poor boy

i like crybaby lbh much more than i like cold/cruel lbh lol

i do agree with sqq’s assessment though - lbh keeps doing the thing where he cries and apologizes but doesn’t actually change. he’s slowly getting better about it but that’s some development i’d like to see

so tlj.... DOESN’T want lbh’s body? i stg his motivations change every 5 minutes. that’s one other thing i don’t really like about him. is the “trying to steal lbh’s body” thing just gonna go nowhere? f...

ALSO SQQ GETTING OUTRAGED ABOUT TLJ CALLING HIMSELF MORE HANDSOME THAN BINGHE

binghe dumbass moments <3 gave him the sword...

..........zhuzhi-lang vore.......

zzl, while healing sqq’s plant arm: don’t worry i don’t want to fuck you unlike LUO BINGHE.

sqq: OKAY??? THANKS

i really hope there exists shipfic of sqq and zzl. like i don’t ship them at all but they just get into so many Situations that i cannot help but think about it. like it would make a funny crack premise

you know what? sqq deserves his own harem. it could consist of lbh, lqg, sqh, zzl.....

SQQ CANNOT CATCH A BREAK. TLJ IS A FAN OF RESENTMENT OF CHUNSHAN

modern au tlj is the dad who is way way way too supportive and thinks sqq would just be a wonderful husband for his son~~

interested in tlj’s intention to unite the human and demon worlds. like on the surface it sounds like a good idea right? peace and harmony and reconciling differences and stuff. but tlj’s plan is certainly not well-thought-out, and i’m sure his intentions also skew towards a sort of “merge them so they’re both easier to rule over” thing - which i don’t think is confirmed or anything, it’s just my suspicion

both tlj and lbh have a sort of entitlement thing going on - “i’m powerful so i can do whatever i like / take for myself something i love (whether that be humans or sqq).” which is then backed up by the power the system allows them as final boss and protagonist respectfully

speaking of lbh taking whatever he wants: stop kissing sqq without asking him aaaaa!!!! we know you love him and it’s sweet but please bro

him going all that way to reunite with sqq though <3

and then zzl comes in and i just.

this scene is simply the best

the slapstick of it!!!! i wanna see it animated so bad holy shit

the scene was good when it was just “sqq hides lbh under the bedcovers and he’s having none of it” but then it just kept escalating...

sqq and zzl’s convo is so suggestive too...

zzl himbo moments again?

AND THEN TLJ WALKS IN

“no need to explain, i understand everything” OK BRO.

LIU QINGGE IS HERE <3

tlj fanboying over him a little lmao

tlj, upon realizing that lbh had been in the bed with zzl and sqq: oh, you guys were having a threesome?

i cannot deal with this. i’m gonna do some sketches from this scene it’s so funny

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

[sideblogformindtrash]

A Masterlist Before I Flood this Blog so Much that I lose total control over it just like everything else™

I always see when people leave comments and stuff, can’t really answer cause sideblog, but I appreciate it <3 

Everything else should be reblogs or non-whump. I’ll get into tagging the reblogs someday. Eventually. Maybe. 

If someone needs content warnings or something tell me. I tend to not put it on tags and put them on the post because I’d rather not have the stories under them on the general tumblr thingy.

Also if someone wants to avoid my useless rambling on how bored/tired I am, block ‘not whump’, should do the trick. 

Prompts/General Scenarios

General tag

The one with the Villain and the Hero Whumpee Who is way too into it for some cursed reason ™ ; the second part; the third part; the 4th part; mail; 5th part;  with hero A; 6th part  part 7; part 8 I will still update this one

My art/Possibly gifs of whump-media:

General tag for art

Crow and Bunny

Orfeu and Haru

this may be going around from my other blogs or deviantart too, but shhh

With OC’s

 -> Crow, Bunny and the rest of their animal-named friends who I’ll definetly write more about someday

Reception

A very firendly fight with werewolf friend

-> Orfeu and Haru

Caged - Orfeu by himself.

Soap - Haru with old masters

Bird - Haru with his old masters

Poison - Orfeu getting Haru as a gift because he is a gold digger also his point of view is abolute hell.

Trunk - Scary car ride ;c

First night - Orfeu wants to help but he is unable to not be akward as hell

Morning

Storm - Haru is scared of storms 

Ritual magic parafernalia

Ghost Hunt

Haunted House  

Panic 

Sharp teeth - Orfeu by himself

Idk what to title these tbh - Haru with old masters

smoky 

I think ya’ll noticed - Haru with old masters; 1/2

I’m bad at naming these; Haru with old masters 2/2

cookies - Orfeu with Farlan (Haru’s old Master :))

haru is bae and deserves love

Ill fix the titles tomorrow when brain is working

Baby Bird  - Mountain climb fluff

Angst - stop hoarding paper

Ripping off ghost whisperer

Crimson

dissociate

suspension

early

grave thing

Stuff about them I should review or rewrite because its inconsistent with characters but I’ll leave it here nonetheless because reasons:

mirror

sleep

> asks:

‘humiliate yourself’; ‘orfeu ignore haru’, ‘orfeu brush haru’s hair’ awful food, ‘catch haru humming’, ‘haru find your master tied up’, ‘orfeu hug me’ lol, ‘haru sing for me’; ‘hugs and pets’, haru manipulating orfeu, haru with a sick orfeu

-> Some delicious art by other people 10/10 would eat again even without sauce

(x), (x)

->Roots and Nepthys

The Witch’s Familiar

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Art

Ask

-> MISC

Beloved

Creature

Mirror Shards

Forest

Wing

Angel Hunter

A guide to running in the woods

Little plant guide

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

The Search for the “Bluest Quintessence” and S6 - The Most Unnecessary Conspiracy In VLD?

Can somebody riddle me this? I’m rewatching Voltron: Legendary Defender, and I just…hm. Am confusion.

I’ve been thinking about the types of quintessence throughout the show, and how the show’s plots always revolve around energy harvesting. According to season 1, totally raw quintessence mined from worlds is yellow, and Haggar’s druids are the ones who filter it into its purple state: 

(Screenshots from Season 1, Episode 10: Collection and Extraction)

I feel safe in assuming that the filtering of raw, mined quintessence into its purple form is what turns it into a usable source of energy. But it also seems that this purple quintessence was still never “as good” as the enriched, concentrated blue quintessence that Alfor and Honerva originally discovered with the comet. Because if the purple version were so perfect, then no one would be desperately trying to get a better grade of quintessence, right?

Which sets the stage for Lotor’s whole arc:

(Screenshot from season 3, episode 7: The Legend Begins)

So here’s where I get confused: How does the need for specifically concentrated quintessence in any way result in the plot twist we got in s6 with the Altean colony? 

Please help me out here. So s6 was about Lotor having this totally secret and horrifying operation to harvest concentrated quintessence from “a few” Alteans, in order to specifically break into the rift. In season 4, Lotor himself even confirms Pidge’s s3 suspicions regarding the purpose of his agenda, that it’s all about getting to the rift using this special quintessence:

(Screenshots from season 4, episode 5: Begin the Blitz)

Lotor also admits to the goals he wants to achieve by piercing the barrier:

(Screenshots from season 5, episode 5: Bloodlines)

And throughout these endeavors, the purest, most concentrated quintessence always and specifically appears as blue:

(Screenshot from season 6, episode 2: Razor’s Edge)

In season 6, we see the show building up to this wild connection between Lotor and where he’s getting this secret, concentrated quintessence. Krolia and Keith confirm they’ve been trying to track it down in different ways:

(Screenshots from season 6, episode 2: Razor’s Edge)

And in this episode, Krolia builds this blue, enriched quintessence as being very scarce and from a totally unknown source:

But in rewatching earlier seasons, I get really confused as to why literally anyone was

so amazed

by this blue quintessence as a mystery energy source. Because...it seems to me like the show itself...didn’t even need an all-new secret source via the Alteans? It already had multiple potential sources? Like, everywhere?

So I guess, let’s talk Komar because it heavily affects the potential plot of the show.

Season 4 details Keith and Kolivan’s initial discovery of enriched quintessence. And the enriched quintessence they found wasn’t scarce or from a mysterious ship like Krolia’s experience in season 6. Instead, the Blades found massive vats of it in a major, well-known, and old but active Galra stronghold—with several Galran soldiers still guarding it and even moving the supply around:

(Screenshots from season 4, episode 1: Code of Honor)

Canon tries to excuse Komar tech from being the answer to the existence of this enriched quintessence, given that Voltron destroyed Haggar’s Komar Experiment in season 2. And it has to explain this away, because Komar tech is very, very good at harvesting vast amounts of that precious blue stuff, and we just can’t have a simple answer, can we:

(Screenshots from season 1, episode 6 – Take Flight)

But whether Komar had been destroyed or not, its very existence...never actually goes away in the larger show’s story. For example, Coran describes the Komar in a way that hauntingly reflects exactly what Lotor’s tech in the Altean colony does:

(Screenshots from season 2, episode 13: Blackout)

(Screenshot from season 6, episode 4: The Colony)

Idk if this is a “chicken or the egg” type of situation, but the technology for the Komar and the technology for harvesting Alteans seem to have the same result of procuring concentrated quintessence. Not just the yellow raw stuff or the somewhat better purple. But the enriched, blue quintessence that Lotor coveted so desperately for breaking into the rift.

So, conspiracies aside that Haggar stole Komar tech from Lotor or vice versa, I find it pretty wild that Lotor’s automatic go-to for harvesting energy was the Alteans. Because with the technology he had, he literally could have linked it up to....just about any other form of life on the universe. 

What the Komar, totally destroyed or not, ultimately suggests is that the pure, concentrated quintessence is not actually unique to special Alteans--but that the trick is simply being able to more purely harvest any given life force.

In which case, it makes turning survivors of omnicide of one’s own heritage into cattle and breeding them for more “special” victims seem so...utterly pointless on so many levels. Lotor could have just pointed said tech at plants and fish, and received a similar result. Haggar and Zarkon confirmed within season 1 that it could canonically be done. The show even depicts them taking pure, concentrated quintessence from specifically animals and a large body of water.

I suppose prior to this rewatch of earlier seasons, I did think that, in response to this, VLD was arguing for Alteans as the only beings in the universe who had the “bluest” quintessence. Which would maybe better explain Lotor’s exploitation of them despite the squicky master race/species vibes that such a concept gives off. But this concept also can’t explain the s6 plot twist to me anymore after my rewatch.

In looking back at previous seasons, Alteans originally were dependent on Balmeras for quintessence-based energy:

(Screenshots from season 1, episode 8: Rebirth)

Notice how Coran talks of the Balmera giving of the crystals as a gift, but yet Alteans repaid their “sacrifice” (same language Lotor used for the Alteans) by providing a token of their own pure life force. This episode reveals that Balmera ultimately function as concentrated quintessence generators and storages.

But even then, Alteans were also dependent on the people of the Balmera to complete this transfer of pure, concentrated quintessence, as they could manipulate the Balmera’s energy for symbiotic purposes:

In which case, if Balmeras were the original™ self-replenishing stores of pure, concentrated quintessence, and also so readily found across the universe with entire groups of people capable of transferring its energy, why even need to harvest Alteans? And since Balmeras can be convinced to willingly give of themselves for a good cause, would it not have made sense for Lotor to work alongside these gentle giants and their people, perhaps finding a way to extract its quintessence in a form other than a crystal? Perhaps even using his smaller-scale version of harvesting tech? Because clearly, he had an issue with just wiping out an entire planet or culture:

(Screenshots from season 5, episode 1: The Prisoner)

And Lotor is shown as canonically very interested in wanting to work alongside other cultures:

(Screenshots from season 5, episode 6: The While Lion)

I think it very likely that Balmera would have worked out some way for him to extract concentrated quintessence in the form he needed—and even better, this would have presented the opportunity to re-initiate the culture and repayment ceremonies of old sacred Alteans.

Because...why wouldn’t he have known about this Altean practice?

(Screenshot from season 5, episode 6: White Lion)

(Screenshot from season 6, episode 4: The Colony)

So despite Balmera being prevalent concentrated quintessence stores throughout the universe, and despite their people still knowing how to enact an Altean repayment ceremony, and despite Lotor having “deep knowledge,” he somehow missed this opportunity??

Lotor would have happily nerded out over being like his Altean ancestors and sustainably and respectfully extracting pure, concentrated energy while also achieving his end goals. And if he’d connected to a Balmera even once, just to try it, he would have discovered that he was a “sacred Altean” as well. Because canon confirms it:

(Screenshots from season 5, episode 6: White Lion)

So Lotor is, canonically, a magical “sacred Altean” with deep cultural knowledge that not even Allura or Coran were aware of. He had generally pretty immediate access to or the ability to find Balmeras across the universe, which are also canonically storages of pure, concentrated life force. And Balmera have canonically deep and respectful relationships with the Alteans who harvest their energy for their own purposes.

Through Balmera and perhaps a simple redesign of his own harvesting tech he was working on, Lotor had an easy way to secretly siphon blue concentrated quintessence in the form he needed, from a willing, self-sustainable source—and afterward, to also give back in thanks in the ways of his mother’s people, without having to actually “sacrifice” anyone.

And yet...malicious Altean harvesting was the only explainable option and the answer this show went with...??

I’m really tempted to just conclude that blue, concentrated quintessence is not as scarce in other life forms as the latter half of the show makes it out to be, that more forms of life can actually interface with it and manipulate it beyond Alteans, and that Lotor had very simple ways to hide and run a sustainable and culturally meaningful quintessence experiment. 

So to me, it seems that the search for the “bluest quintessence” represents just another example of VLD inconsistently manipulating its own inconsistent worldbuilding to arrive at outrageous, universe-contradicting and pointlessly evil plot twists like the s6 colony plot.

But I’m curious what you all think and if I’m just...missing something? 

(Also apologies if someone else has already brought this up somewhere and I’m just lagging behind, haha.)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #443

“it’s not a life sentence, but a death dream for you”

When was the last time you were in the hospital? Me personally, uhhh sometime in 2017? Why were you there? I had a cyst removal surgery. Do you like Cheez-Its or Cheese Nips better? Cheez-Its. Have you worn headphones at all today? Yeah, I pretty much always do because YouTube is always open and on a video. When was the last time you had blood drawn? A few months ago or something? I'll be getting some drawn shortly though for genetic testing; due to my mom having some dysfunctional cancer prevention gene, all her children are getting tests to see if we inherited it. The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? I want to say I was tested for anemia most recently. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? Things I wish I didn't daydream about. What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? They're my niece and nephew. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No fucking shit? Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots? Tiger stripes, ig. When did you last see a dog? At my nephew's b-day party a couple weeks ago. Nicole brought her dog Zeke over. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? No, but omg I wish!!!!!!!!!! Do you know anyone from Canada? Yep. Has a cat ever licked you? Yeah. Roman especially loves to give kisses. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? The Wizard of Oz park, probs. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit's rad. o: Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No, that sketches me out. I'd be afraid of the ice breaking and me falling in. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever met an Alaskan? Met in-person, no. But I do have an online friend who's from Alaska. Or may still live there? Idk. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? Nah. Do you know any German words? Seeing as I took four semesters of the language in high school, I know a good deal. However, my skill has definitely atrophied with time and lack of application. Do you have a passport? No. Are your teeth straight? I mean, mostly. I had braces for too long, but I didn't wear my retainer, so they've moved back some. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? Yeah, sure. I've never understood why height is an issue for some people. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? No. I personally never got the craze. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? I have. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? Not a live one. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? Faint or vomit. Wail. All three. Are you very close to your siblings? No. :/ Can you do CPR? No. Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics? I don't care. Ever flushed a fish? Yes. Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor? No. I wouldn't agree to that. Last friend you talked to online? Sara. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla. You have so many topping options. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature, especially wild animals. What would you spend $1,000 on? A big, really pro tattoo. What was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Hm. I don't know. Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Mom and I sat together on the couch some time ago. Do you keep a planner? No. What are you craving right now? I've got a seriously random craving for shell pasta with a nice, meaty tomato sauce. Do you want kids anytime soon? DEFINITELY not soon, but also never. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you're in love and really feeling it. What’s something you really want right now, be honest. There's a lot of things. Who in your family do you act like the most? I don't know, really. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, 100%. Do you believe that your first true love can be your only love in life? Of course not. Have you ever kissed under water? Yes. Is there that one guy that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what? Suuuure is. Wish it wasn't like that, but I don't see it ever changing, to be real... Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 100%? No, I can't say I am entirely. Have your parents ever caught you kissing a guy? "Caught me?" How old is this question meant for? Yes, they've seen me kiss a guy before. If you mean like, seriously kiss-kissing, no. Which one of your exes hates you the most? Probably Jason. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name has been passed down, but "Brittany" wasn't from anybody else in specific. What reminds you the most of your last relationship? The song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Have you ever rejected someone but they still wouldn’t give up on you? In elementary school, yes. When growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together? Usually, yes, at least when growing up. Sometimes we'd use little tables to eat in the living room though while watching TV. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? My mom, best friend, and pets. What was the last charity/cause you donated to? I'm unsure, actually. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara! :') Did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? Mom did. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. The greatest fear I've ever had was losing Jason, and that happened. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, for one. My older half-sister has also be divorced because her ex is an absolute piece of manipulative horse shit. Has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager? I think my mom? No, maybe not... Idk. I ain't doing the math. What’s your greatest talent? If you want a serious answer and not something self-depracating, I suppose writing. Would you ever want to get a master’s degree? It'd be cool, but I've never *actually* wanted to pursue that. Have you ever worn revealing clothing in order to get attention? No. Have you ever been falsely accused of being racist? I've never been accused of being racist, because I'm not. To you, is sex just about physical pleasure, or do you see it as an expression of love and commitment? Absolutely the latter. I could never engage in sex without deep emotional commitment. How many times have you been drunk in the past 6 months? Zero. What’s your favorite French food? I have no idea. What’s the most elaborate recipe you know how to cook? Nothing. Which rooms of your house have doors that lead outside? The living room and kitchen. Best purchase you ever made? My snake. :') Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? I haven't seen him a long time, but boy did I have a thing for James Hetfield in high school. There are defs others, but no one else immediately comes to mind. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? No, because I've never tried to. How many Facebooks have you had? Just the one I still use. Have you ever been punched in the face? No. When was the last time you talked to the first person you kissed? The beginning of February, 2017. What is the latest you have ever slept in? Past 5. Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No. Do you text when you drive? Fuck no. You couldn't pay me to. What movie do you really want to see that’s out? I don't even know what movies are out right now. Did America really put a man on the moon? Eventually, yes. Call me crazy, but I do believe the supposed first one was faked, though, to "beat" Russia in the space race. Do some research and it's pretty shocking. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you? Idc. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No, but I turn the brightness down for if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time. Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? I don't believe so. Do you like tattoos and piercings? Helllll yes. :') What are you really into? Animals, art, some weird Korean guy on the Internet... Do your parents like your best friends? Yes. Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yes. What color was the last cup you drank from? It's just clear glass. How old is your oldest sibling? I actually don't know her exact age. 30-something. What was the last thing you ate that had nuts in it? A Nature Valley cashew bar I had earlier today. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? I have no idea. Who did you last shake hands with? uhhhhhhhh Has anybody asked you out on a date recently? Nah. When was the last time somebody asked you to be their girlfriend? When Girt asked me out a few years ago. Name something you’re picky about: Food. Who did you last ask for help? My mom. Do you like corn? Yeah. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Right now I honestly probably would, believe it or not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Yeah. How do you earn money? The only occasions where I ever and very rarely earn money is if someone (non-family, of course) pays me to take pictures for them. Where were you raised? All you need to know is a crappy town in eastern NC. Are your ears gauged? No, but I want the first holes in my earlobes to be, but only with very small gauges. I just can't figure out how to do it myself, at least with the gauges I have. I think I'm missing something. Explain what triggered your last kiss? We were saying goodbye. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? I mean I could, but it'd seriously fucking suck. Have you ever made out in a park? No, because I don't do that in public. What are you listening to? "Paint You With My Love" by Marilyn Manson. I wasn't big on the album when it came out, but this is one of the songs that's aight to me. Last thing you said out loud? I gave Venus a little wave and said "hey babe" or something like that like I do sometimes when she's slithering around and looks out towards me. Are you sad? Always at least a little bit. I have been kinda down this evening. Where is your dad? I would hope at home. He's probably watching TV, or maybe in bed.

[hateswifi]

Jasonette July: Pit Madness (Part Two of Angst)

Day Sixteen of being committal, went to the drive in, saw The Exorcist and The Shining, so yeah thats why this is a touch late, Part three continued on the eighteenth

Jasonette July: Master List

The Master: Master List

---------------------------------------

When he came back, Red was standing above him, staring at him. “What happened?” He asks.

Jason sits up and looks around while saying, “Marinette, she’s gone. She was sent by Talia to earn our trust.”

“Was it all fake?!” Tim exclaims. 

“In the beginning, we have to go free her,” Jason says, standing. 

“What! Why would we do that?”

“Because I love her!”

“First, cringe, second, how do we know she’ll even want our help?”

“Because she loves me too,” Jason says, turning to run back to the manor.

It took a couple of hours to convince Bruce and to find where Talia would’ve take her.

She woke up to bright room, strapped down to a chair. “Welcome back,” the important-looking woman greets.

“Where am I?”

“You’re home, I am your mistress,” She responds, unclasping the restraints.

“Who am I, Mistress?”

“You’re a tool in the journey to better our world,” Mistress explains, holding out a hand to helping her off the chair. “You are who you are because of me, what do you say?”

“Thank you, Mistress, for giving me a purpose,” she responds, bowing her head.

“Why can’t I remember anything?”

“Well, a bad man hurt you, and you couldn’t bear to live with the memories, so instead of getting rid of you like he wanted to, I gave you a new purpose,” Mistress explained.

“Thank you for giving me a second chance,” She says.

“To repay your debt to me, there is a mission I need you to complete,” Mistress says, holding out a picture for her to take. “This is the man that hurt you, he is a liability to the mission. He’s going to come find you to kill you, you need to finish him before he can finish you.”

“What do I need to know about him?”

“He’s in trained multiple fighting styles, he’s a skilled marksman. He will try to manipulate you, you can’t let your defense fall around him,” Mistress explained.

“Yes, Mistress.” 

The next day is when she was called to gear up and be prepared for the man’s attack. What she wasn’t expecting to see was a man in a red helmet. 

“Mistress, is that him?”

“Yes, deal with him quickly and remember I’m watching. I need to make sure you are worth being apart of out cause.” “Of course, Mistress.”

“Marinette, please come home, we can work this out.”

“Who the hell is Marinette?” She asks, the man takes off his helmet to reveal the man from the picture.

“Do not let him manipulate you,” Mistress stresses through the coms.

“Yes, Mistress,” She says before rushing the man. She threw punch after punch, some he would catch others he would take. He never threw a punch or kicked her back.

“Marinette, please stop this, I won’t fight you. I love you,” he says, dodging a kick.

“No, you want to kill me,” she growls back.

“Why would I want to kill you? I can’t live without you!” He says, sweeping out her legs so she will fall.

“You’re lying to me, Mistress, had to wipe me to forget the pain you put me through,” She screams, standing back up.

“Do not speak to him.” Mistress commands.

“Yes, Mistress,” she responds, not noticing the hand flying at her face. He took her com and smashed it.

“Pixie, it’s just you and me now, tell me what’s happening.” After a bit of no response, he pins her. “It’s me Jason, last time you saw me we were in this position, but you were sobbing because you were called back. Mari, it’s me. Remember all the good times? We went to the circus, you took me to that vintage book store because I love English. You made me authentic Mexican food because you knew I missed my Abuela’s cooking.” The dead stare in her face made him want to cry, it was like the person he loved was gone. “Please remember me,” he sobs out, kissing her forehead.

It was like a barrier was broken. She stared up at him and tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. “Jay?”

“Pixie!” He exclaims, hugging her to the best of his ability. “Do you remember me?”

“I have bits and pieces, but it’s all blurry,” Marinette says, hugging him. They stand to find his brothers when she hears her.

“I guess, we’ll have to try this again, just leave the problem to me,” Mistress says, standing on the balcony. The shot was fired too fast, but she couldn’t lose Jason just after trying to murder him. She didn’t know what happened, but the next thing she knew was immense pain followed by spots in her vision. There was another shot and a lot of shouting, and maybe even some sobbing, but she’s too tired to remember. 

She lifts her hand to the person in front of her, they’re to blurry to make out, but she touches their face, hoping it was Jason and says. “Hey Jay, I may not remember you much, but I remember loving you, I wish we had… more… time, but I must…. Go.”

“Marinette! Keep your eyes open! Somebody get help!” Jason shouts.

“Bye, my love.” Blackness covers her vision.

“Todd, we must move if you want to be able to help her,” Damian commands.

“What! How can I help!”

“The pit.”

He picks her up and runs to the green liquid, forgetting everything, just thinking about nothing other than holding his love in his arms once more. He ignores the shouts of his family as he places her in the pit.

She sees a green light surrounding her, it didn’t take long for her to realize she couldn’t breathe. She burst up from the water and sees Jason and his family. It was too loud, too much light, too much everything… She jumps out of the green liquid and can’t remember much after that, she remembers someone tried to touch her and she freaked out. She threw a punch and she can’t remember if it landed or not, all she knows is that she has to get away from everyone, she has to find someplace to curl up and just be still.  She wants the world to be quiet and to be still, she doesn’t want to feel anything but darkness.(i tried to write like a sensory overload idk if you can tell)

She got as far away from everything as she could, she stumbled upon a cabin. She decided since it looks likes nobody has been there in a while to crash there till she could think straight before she could take on all the life of the city and seeing him again.

---------------------------------------

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[glowyjellyfish]

So many El Goonish Shive thoughts the last few days. Recent developments have caused me to reevaluate and refine my theory about Lord Tedd. I think he is absolutely misunderstood, and I’m amazed at how neatly all this lines up as more backstory for everything and everyone but him is revealed. I mean, I will probably turn out to be wrong, but I love how well it works. Oh, and please note I am using he/him for Lord Tedd throughout because we have never been shown that he identifies any other way, and he has only ever presented as male on-page. (I wouldn’t be surprised if all Tedds are genderfluid, but without any evidence yet I am defaulting to what’s on the page.)

For a little foundation, I am choosing to assume that Noriko got her scar and made the mirror well after Tedd was born, but while he was still pretty small. Like, 4-6 maybe. Because I also think that event that scarred Noriko is a defining event that has different consequences in different dimensions depending on how it played out, and Lord Tedd comes from a universe where:

Noriko was killed instead of scarred, trying to save Raven’s life

Her effort to protect Raven wasn’t enough, and Pandora stepped in

Pandora did her dramatic apocalyptic light show in defense of her son, causing magic to change

all while Tedd was at most approximately six

and therefore hadn’t used any magic and didn’t even get a say in Magic’s change

And therefore, with potentially only Arthur to offer advice, magic changed dramatically 

and Voltaire successfully argued for Immortals to change their laws, perhaps aided by Pandora not getting close enough to her family to mitigate her insanity at all

so therefore with poor magic resistance humans were left vulnerable to Immortal meddling

making all seers obtain high value and power just by knowing how to do magic to defend themselves and others

and Tedd, being Tedd, still approached magic scientifically and supplemented spells with magitech, which is a fairly unique approach that gains him more acclaim and respect

with technology being what it is and Immortals free to screw with people, the world probably went through several more magic changes in rapid succession. Tedd participated in probably just one of these changes (I think that’s how it’s intended to work, anyway), but probably wasn’t mature, knowledgeable, or idk wise enough to argue for a minimal change and reveal

on discovering other dimensions, this Tedd, now Lord Tedd thanks to all this power and influence he’s been racking up just for being himself in this nearly apocalyptic world, began to meddle and/or experiment. He wants as many Tedds as possible to participate in Magic changing, hoping to understand how to get a reveal, and he wants to know what events or circumstances lead to the best possible result. 

(and all that is without me even getting into what could be happening with uryuoms, General Shade Tail, and the Master of Fire in Lord Tedd’s dimension. That is a WHOLE OTHER theory/discussion I’m still baffled nobody else has spotted.)

And let’s not forget that for whatever reason, Lord Tedd seems like he may never have had an Elliot or Ellen of any kind. Whether that means Tedd’s life was so different they never met, or Elliot/Ellen died, or never existed in that dimension, I don’t know yet, but an Elliot or Ellen is always important for developing a Tedd’s social skills and moral compass, I feel. 

Basically, Lord Tedd is still Tedd, just with extremely different life experience and forced to be much more ruthless thanks to living in the darkest timeline, and at worst trying to manipulate other dimensions in order to figure out how to fix his own; at best he is doing all he can to make sure other Tedds stand a chance. It all fits together really well, and it’ll be interesting to find out if that’s planned or if it’s just me. I honestly think my biggest leaps of logic are his motives, but it makes sense, doesn’t it?

...thank you for coming to my tedd talk.

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

So. Was thinking about the Magnus archives and Dgm and like... I gotta do it. Which character would be affiliated with which fear??

Allen is def a Stranger. He has a clown theme, he got masks, he's just a Stranger okay. Very good at faking being human but since he lived in a circus and then with his master, who is not a normal person (here it's because he's an avatar of the Desolation very touched by the Web but he's also weird in canon so...) he just didn't get that white hair isn't that normal for humans and realized it only after joining the order - and at this point he couldn't change it because people would definitely notice such a change and he doesn't wants to out himself as a Stranger cause the order is okay with avatars but he still doesn't wants to scare people (he's also very good at not being Uncannily Strange).

I don't think Kanda would be an avatar, but I do think he would be a entity's creation. Maybe a creation of the Stranger since he was someone else before being Kanda? Or the Flesh since he heals himself? Or both?? Some avatars of the Stranger and the Flesh tried to create hm invincible humans? And like. Technically it worked. But not like they expected. Also Kanda dislikes Allen at first sight because he reeks of the Stranger (which is. Normal. He IS of the Stranger, after all) and he doesn't likes Strangers because they remind him of the scientists who created him and also because they're FAKE AS FUCK and he just doesn't likes that.

Before doing Lavi I would like to explain my headcanon for the Bookman clan. It's not exactly a cult like the Lightless Flame but it's kinda affiliated to multiple entities : The Eye, because knowledge and recording history, The Desolation, because no attachments, no friends, no love, no heart, and the Stranger, because really a new persona and name for each recording that's very Stranger. Every Bookman and apprentice has to be marked by these three entities. They have means to gain some small powers from these marks (like Oliver saw the roots even before becoming an avatar) but not as much as real avatars. Becoming an avatar is really not recommended by the Clan because to record human history you have to understand humans and to understand humans you have to BE human so no to become a fear monster. Becoming an avatar of the eye is slightly more acceptable than the others cause it's about knowledge but it's still frowned upon and the Clan would watch these avatars very closely.

So Lavi is not an avatar but he's been marked by the Eye, the Desolation and the Stranger (also by the Slaughter cause of the bullet he took and really being marked by the Slaughter is kinda usual for Bookmen since they record WARS, they HAVE to be marked by the Slaughter at some point and anyway I'm pretty sure everyone in the order is marked by the Slaughter because akumas are obviously creatures of the Slaughter but later). He got some small powers from this, like from the Eye he got the capacity to remember everything he hears and see (he still had a very good memory to begin with but the Eye's marking made it REALLY good) also a sort of small compulsion that makes people more open with their secrets around him but it's really small. From the Desolation he got a bit of pyromania and a crazy flexibility, he may not be made of wax but it sure looks he is. Also he can see body temperatures with his right eye, like a infrared (?) vision? Can see people through walls, etc? From the Stranger he got a really good ability to create personas and he adapts to new names really fast. He can also know when people are lying but he's not sure which entity that comes from (I was tempted to include the Bookmen's sneakiness that we saw in like their first two chapters and nowhere else?? Come one it's super interesting?? Lavi is just super sneaky and I never see that in fanfics! Fanfics writters I am very disappointed) also like Kanda he would know that Allen is a Stranger at first sight, I mean Kanda doesn't really knows that Allen is a Stranger he just knows that he reeks of Stranger not that he is one but yes. Even without the Eye's influence the Bookmen are trained to recognize any avatar or marks, so yeah Lavi would know. He thinks it's very interesting!! Of course. He never met such a nice Stranger avatar, it's... *drum rolls*... Strange *badum tsss* omg he would make so many Stranger jokes around Allen... It has the side effect of angering Kanda even more. He's also very intrigued by Kanda since he never saw anything like him it's just all very interesting.

I don't think Lenalee would be an Avatar either, she's just... Not like that? But I see her being very touched by the Lonely since she got into the order, before her brother came, she was alone in this prison that made her fight and she was just alone. I think that without Komui's presence she would have been an avatar of the Lonely. Also she's very attached to her friends because sometimes she still feels the cold of The One Alone.

Komui and a lot of people from the Science department are either avatars from the eye or heavily touched by it. They all like to know things and discover new things and a few of them actively try to become avatars because eye powers could help them watch over the exorcists, like Knowing when they need help or Knowing exactly what kind of uniform they need. When you enter the science department you feel really watched but in a good, warm-blanket way?

So in the end only Allen, Cross, some other exorcists and some people from the Science department are avatars uh. I guess it wouldn't be good to be an avatar in the order cause you kinda feed from humans, the beings you're trying to defend against akumas? I guess you wouldn't really need to feed if you're an avatar of the Eye ; all the people in the order have a tragic story and I'm sure half of them are permanently afraid. You just absorb the fear around you, I guess? Being of The End would also not be bad, I guess? You're surrounded by death so... The Vatican would totally experiments on avatars uh. Oh thats' why it's bad to be an avatar in the order! If it's an exorcist, the Vatican can't do anything cause they're already short on exorcists, but if it's a finder ? Finder are - for the Vatican - unimportant, so you can experiment on them! Also they're just as likely to become avatars as anyone else in the order since they're very exposed to... All this horror. Maybe even more than the exorcists!

Also I see the Earl being something like the Distorsion but with multiple entities? Like uuuuh when he was human (?? Idk?? Let's say at the beginning of his existence??) he tried to do a ritual and got the right idea, he needed multiple entities to succeed but hm. It blowed up or something. Pretty sure he and the Noah are at least 30% Slaughter (with Skinn being 75% Slaughter) he would also be End (cause he bring back the dead) and Web (cause he manipulates Akuma and also people)? Maybe Desolation too... The Noah are at least clearly not of the Lonely. The Akuma are hm creatures of the Slaughter + End and when they evolve (when they're more... Clever) they become creatures of the Hunt + End? (the End part is purely because of the made from a deceased human part) at first they're Slaughter cause mindless violence but then they become Hunt because they're more clever about their violence? Not sure if you can change entities like that but akumas are also very not human so...

Orrrr the Noah could be of the Extinction, it makes sense. Urgh, the dilemna...

[johannesviii]

Very jumbled, mixed thoughts about Spyfall part 1 and 2 under the Read More.

Ok so first I’m writing this because I’m kinda hyped for this series but I’m also very very scared.

This is an extremely flawed opening that also takes a lot of risks and I tend to respect that more than good but bland stories, and it also made me want to talk about it, whereas my reaction to S11, apart from Demons of the Punjab and It Takes You Away, was basically “eh this is nice” followed by a shrug

Don’t get me wrong I love the fact that Thirteen exists but her character in S11 was a bit of an enigma for me, and now she has started to wander down some dark, dark paths

What I wanted from S12 was “more material for Yaz”, “an arc”, and “understand Thirteen as a character”. We certainly have an arc, so hurray for that. Yaz has more things to do but I want to see more. And Thirteen... more on that later

Ok so Spyfall

The idea of aliens that are technically portals is great. Their plan of conquest was meh and the resolution was underwhelming.

The tuxedos and the gadgets and stuff were great. Wanted to see more gadgets but eh. Thirteen in a tux on a bike was a wonderful sight. The scenes with the main companions were good.

Loved to see Ada Lovelace. And Noor Inayat Khan, who I knew nothing about, and I do have thoughts about her presence but more on that later.

And the Master is back.

Boy do I have thoughts about that too.

Ok so the actor is doing an amazing job and I loved when he was undercover and not particularly subtle about it and it still worked. Love that he has a TARDIS again, and the TCE. Wonderful stuff.

I have mixed thoughts about how aggressive he seems to be, yelling, killing people like it’s nothing, asking Thirteen to kneel and nearly choking her. On one hand he did way worse things to some older incarnations, and I certainly wouldn’t want to see the Master starting to see the Doctor as some sort of fragile thing now that the character is played by a woman. That would be pretty awful. On the other hand, we now have, in practice, a Master played by a man of color being very aggressive towards a Doctor played by a white woman and that has also some pretty awful connotations. I’m not even sure how that can be solved. I don’t even know how I’d handle it. I don’t know. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, that’s all.

I actually don’t mind the fact Missy’s character development has seemingly disappeared (wait and see). First, it’s not like it’s something new in the show ; I mean the Doctor’s incarnations contradict themselves all the time. Six’s whole thing was how he was learning to become more gentle and caring and then Seven becomes this master manipulator who tends to use his friends like assets.

Second, I’m not even sure this new Master has reverted to the status quo of “haha look how evil I am”. He certainly tries to but. like. Everytime he’s not threatening or killing people or talking about his evil plans, he looks really, really unsure of himself. In at least two scenes, he seems to be this close to bursting into tears (especially when Thirteen says his name and in his message about Gallifrey). Is he even enjoying being evil anymore? Doesn’t seem like he is. He’s doing some horrible shit in this story but it looks almost performative. Like when Missy killed a couple of UNIT people to prove to Clara she wasn’t “nice”.

He didn’t boast about destroying Gallifrey, either.

Heck, he couldn’t even say that to Thirteen’s face. He used a recording to say it. He didn’t even mention it before trying to kill her on the plane.

Speaking of which, I’m not mad Gallifrey has been destroyed again. Happens all the time in the extended universe anyway.

Very curious about this whole “lie” thing.

And now I have to talk about Thirteen

Where do I even f█cking start

Ok so. Either it’s written without much care or it’s written to send the character on a very sinister path, but I was baffled by some things Thirteen did in that story.

We already saw her do some debatable things in S11, especially at the end of Kerblam!. Which made me dislike that episode immensely, because I thought it was out of character for the Doctor to care that little about people being exploited and basically enslaved.

But maybe it was in character for Thirteen.

I mean we now have a Doctor who allies herself to two incredible women from history, basically uses them as assets, then erases their memories without permission and doesn’t even save the one who’s gonna die later?? Hello? Why even bring a real person into the plot if you’re not gonna treat her story with care? An imaginary spy would have been better, that’s just disrespectful

And then there’s Thirteen saying the Master using the Nazis to find her is “a new low even for him” even though she does the exact same thing to escape later and weaponises them to use them against him? It was one thing to make this fake message outing him as a spy, that part was actually clever, but removing his disguise to prove he’s a man of color in front of a bunch of armed racists?? And then leaving him stranded there?? Excuse me? Thirteen what the f█ck? Hello? Isn’t that a vile thing to do? Come back here immediately and explain yourself??

So yeah

I mean, I’m not against a main character doing really terrible things as long as it’s framed as bad. But this wasn’t. It was framed as a “HA take THAT” moment

Is anyone going to talk about that or are we just going to ignore it

idk it just left an awful taste in my mouth

Thirteen I don’t know what you’re doing but you’re walking on a very dark path and I’m not sure I want to follow you

TLDR: flawed story, characters doing extremely debatable things, intriguing arc. I’m really scared about the future but I still want to know what comes next. Bring it on

[the-necessary-unnecessary]

Hi, i want to share some thoughts and you and your blog always been one you can do it in so i hope it's o.k with you. I read lately a lot of articles about stats of Arsenal players that also comparing players stats. I think when you do so you have to consider the positions of these players during the seasons and the no. of touches they made cuz if you don't you're manipulate the stats and hurt the more versatile players in the team If i take the attack players (RW, AM, LW) and compare (1/_)

their touches or the touches in the box it obviously will show that the AM have more of these two because she is in a central position And with an Arsenal-style attack that is based on possession and not counter attacks you have to go through the midfield so the AM will always be the one with more touches in the box or outside it if you compare her with the Wingers ( I took the CF out cuz her role is to be in the box the most and the target for the last pass), this and more especially when you have players in attack that play the same position all season and you compare them with players that played also in other positions during the season (more deep in midfield like CDM and so) because an injury problem in the team. The truth is that by this they hurt their own stats (and its o.k cuz the team is first) but in the same time they not got any credit about their versatility (Dom, DvD and so) unless you are an english player and then you will get all the glory for your versatility. 

In any case, the versatility of these players has become like something obvious for the fans and media (just think we don't have these players that playing very good in a lot of positions when we have a injury problem) and this is were they're IMO very underrated because the media and fans tend to form an opinion a player based on stats mostly and when you not consider these things it's wrong one cuz like i said their stats will be all over the place when you compare them to a player that played one position all season. 

second thing is that like i said the more central you position is the more touches you will make so no doubt you have more opportunities to create especially cuz all the field is open for you in central and you have a lot of options. thats why i think that if you compare AM with Wingers you need to base it on also on touches and not based only pr 90 min. for exp. Nobbs started in 12 games and DvD in 14 but they have almost the same no. of touches (around 840) and if you take this number and consider that DvD played also as winger and CM/DCM during the season and only her stats almost similar to Nobbs i say her numbers is more impressive ( 24/20 kp, 7/6 gca, 36/43 sca). I choose to read the stats not as pr 90 min cuz their touches on the ball is almost similar and to take in account that DvD played in 4 different positions during the season it all depends how you choose to read the stats and if you take other things in consideration. also don't forget that the writers is also biased with some players they want to hype (cuz nationality or so). I'm very very sorry the ask is so long 👀👀👀it's horrible i know 🙈🙈🙈 and i'm sorry for my English too (7/7).

For exp of how the media is biased in England: no one talk about Bloodworth last season when she played as CB, LB and CDM but don't stop talking about Willamson this season when she played the same positions. Also they didn't stop talking about Nobbs stats last season with 8 starts and 9 goals/ 3 assist but didn't say a word about DvD with 11 starts and 10 goals/ 3 assist and her and Dom filling every position in midfield (she start as a winger) cuz of the injuries of Nobbs, Little and Lia.

Don’t apologise at all for anything this is all very interesting and I always like to read you opinion on things! You raise some interesting points here, the ones about stats and needing context to be taken into proper consideration has been touched on before but not so much in relation to the context with other players. I agree that it’s a dangerous game you play when you start to compare two players with the same stats that don’t necessarily play in the same position. Each player functions as a different part which makes up the general team machinery, you don’t want two parts that are the same as in that case one of them becomes redundant and the team loses some of that originality and individuality. So comparing two players on the same stats, unless they play in the same position or want to compare how different positions utilise different assets, is not the best way forward without taking into account playing context.

Your focus on versatility over stats it’s also an interesting one. I think they can be mutually beneficial at times and wouldn’t say that versatility is the be all and end all. Some people specialise in one position and it would be nonsensical to put them anywhere else because they’re so good at it - Viv is the best example here and beth to an extend since she practically only ever plays on the wing now. Also, unless you really are a versatile player then there’s no benefit of putting someone out of position if they’re not going excel as much there (jack of all trades master of none and all that). However, I agree with you in the fact that versatility is another important context that needs to be taken into account when looking at stats. 

Also, the bit about some players having their versatility taken for granted whilst other play out of their normal position and get really praised by it raises an important point about bias. I definitely agree that there are some players that get a lot more hype than others, some of it is justifed and some of it is excessive, but I also think it’s a natural thing which comes with any sports team/other group thing. At Arsenal I do imagine you’re on to something with the nationality, it’s an English team so it makes sense that a lot of people will get behind the English players (whether this is fair/right or not is another issue), and also just the English-speaking players in general since they are able to build a wider rapport with their audiences and command the crowd more. Daan I see more hype about the versatility but maybe it is more taken for granted than whenever Leah plays out of CB - I think how much Daan plays out of position compared to Leah might also be a reason behind this though. Idk it’s a very interesting point and I must say I hadn’t thought about nationality bias as much as I’d thought about general player bias, so I’ll definitely keep that in mind and be on the look out for it from now on. Thank you once again for all your thoughts, and you English was great :)