#idk man i need to go tf to sleep

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

hesd hurt and mouth dry and brain sleepy but also knee thigh and hamstring are in paaaaiiinnnnnn

[dailyautophagy]

I can’t imagine being so young I need an audience to feel real

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[bosspigeon]

my anxiety has been so fucking bad lately i rly don't know what to do anymore im having like multi-day breakdowns and i am constantly shaking and struggling to make myself eat consistently but like i still have to go to work and pretend everything is normal bc i can't afford not just push through but idk how long i can keep this up

[keferon]

I just saw the post about Jazz not taking care of himself and all that, and with the doodle provided on that, i for some reason, have the mental imagine of Prowl now just holding Jazz on one hand while the tiny human sleeps there, and he's just working on whatever it is that he needs to work on with one hand

Because he got scared and now does not want to let go until he's sure he's ok.

There is no context, i just saw Prowl holding tiny Jazz and now my brain itches for more of that i guess.

THO SPEAKING OF WHICH (please excuse the rambling), but like when Prowl first finds out about Jazz actually not being a mech and just this tiny soft squishy human, who, in tfp Ratchet's words, can go squish under their pedes like, now constantly panics about Jazz possibly being hurt

And under no circumstances allows him to walk on the floors in fear he might, in fact, go squish. So everytime he leaves his suit Prowl has him sit by on the tabls or straight out just carries him (bring out that meme of Finn having a pocket for Jake)

Idk, the amount of funny scenarios of Prowl having to learn about how to be careful around a human is endless and i love it, and dammit your au has been stuck in my head i can't stop looking at content for it, it's making me go insane!!

Oh and to hopefully finish my rambling off, but add huamn adrenaline to the mix. Jazz getting severally hurt, but the adrenaline keeps him kicking for a bit longer, like bleeding out and a broken arm but he pushes through as if it were nothing....until they are out of danger and the pain kicks in. Prowl is none the wiser to his partner's injuries until the mecha suit starts to tweak as Jazz starts to let out pained screams, or small gasps of pain depending how much hurt you want him to be in, and then he pops out the chest compartment to reveal how much actual damage he took.

Ok this was supposed be a small "haha Prowl holding a sleeping Jazz" and it turned in to a full on yap session about very different ideas, hope you dont mind ^^;;

Just really love your au man...

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ACTUALLY PREDICTED THE THING I WAS PLANNING TO INCLUDE IN MY THREAD :D

Like. Y E AH. Think of it. Fuckinb imaginb. Jazz falling asleep right where he was standing and Prowl is like. Okay I need to find some safe place to put this tiny guy because I don’t want him to get squashed right?? But he doesn’t really have a lot of options so he ends up just sitting and reading something from his datapad with one hand. And holding Jazz in the other. And it works perfectly because Jazz is small enough to fit in Prowls palm.

ALSO. A L S O

I imagine Jazz has magnets in the gloves of his suit. So! Not only Prowl can carry him around but also Jazz can just stick himself to Prowls plates haha

Prowl: Where tf are you

Jazz, crawling on Prowls back: I’m Spider man

Another Cybertonians react to this the same way people do when they see a spider on someone’s shoulder btw~

[the-moon-files]

Man, I love the trope of aliens being terrified of humans, and I've seen some fics of human!reader reacting differently to stuff like posions/plants in hyrule, but this is in another level! We are indestructible! I mean, I could live on Death Mountain! With the Gorons! It's literally a dream come true!

Also, the urge this would give me to give them all the hugs and piggy back rides whenever it gets cold/windy/whatever extreme condition.

If Hylians would be surprisingly light, would they be light enough for me to pick up Time? Just get that big ass man with a bunch of armor on my back? Because new need unlocked.

NEW NEED UNLOCKED INDEEEEDDD. (touches my fingertips together like a villain up to no good)

CREDIT FOUND!! (Who did it first!):

IDK who it was but someone mentioned in a rlly old 2023-2022? LU x human reader post abt the hylians being lighter in comparison to humans!! If i find who it is, or if u recognize u wrote abt smth similar pls leave a comment so I can @ you!! /gen

@wayfayrr :D ive been in humans are space orcs fandom (is it a fandom? More like endless AU idea ppl wrote abt on tumblr) for Years, and ofc i never thought to put with Loz this past year or 2 getting into this fandom dammit - UR WORKS AMAZING THANK YOU SM FOR MERGING MY 2 FAVS AND LIKING/REBLOGGING THIS HOT MESS 😭😭

GOD i NEED to play TP bc u can hold cats like this?? and u get to see LINK do it??? 😭😭

Sun: technically Masc! Reader but not explicit (you/he/him), coule be Gender Neutral, Human Reader

Orbit: headcanons-ish

Stars: The Classic Chain of Links

Comets & Meteors: Content: in Four’s desc. mentioned “diving into chest”, & Triggers: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

A kinda 2nd part/expansion to this post!

no bc the “i can live wherever tf i want” was secretly part of why i wrote that post (so sue me, i wanna be able to follow wild around his hyrule w/o getting nuked)

OMFG SO GLAD SOMEONE WANTS TO TALK ABT HOW AFFECTIONATE YOU’D GET BC OF THIS TOWARDS THE LINKS (anduseitasanexcusehahai mean what? whatd i say??)

There’s only 2 types of Links in this hyrule(s):

Who’s already down with being cuddled at the slightest/not so slightest inconvenience??:

Wild

(unsurprisingly, also if anyone teases him he just teases right back that not only is it “for survival”, but also look he’s “getting Guide Cuddles™️ and You’re Not” lmao,

would sleep right up against ur bedroll every night if u let him, likes when you commit to the cuddle (even if he goes a little red), like wrapping arms + legs around him, adores fireside cuddles, has said on multiple occasions that nothing makes him feel safer than holding onto you, and how he can’t go back to doing things like this on his own anymore 😭😭😭

his favorite cuddle is whatever you give him LMAO u can always count on Wild if your ever feeling like u need to cuddle smth blonde and cute lol - he constantly offers or initiates it himself <33 )

Sky

another unsurprising one, his favorite time to cuddle is when it’s cold outside, or windy, and he can just get under a blanket and take a nap with you,

esp if it’s both and he can convince you to lay partially on him for heated + weighted human blanket purposes, he’s literally staring at you with sparkles in his eyes as soon as a breeze goes by lol

his Loftwing/Crimson wasn’t rlly able to fly u long distances u find out!! :( Hylians are just so light that ofc that explains why they can ride these pelican/ostrich creations for hours, whereas the bird can only rlly manage 20 minutes of low flying with you (+ Sky) on its back, but that’s fine, bc u figured out how to “shield surf” rlly fast down slopes to keep up with Sky flying low, and by “shield surfing” i mean, shocking Wild into jaw-dropped silence as he watches you fly by completely barefoot 👍

(after all, ur skin has to be pretty tough/thick to be able to handle the weather/environmental conditions, and finding out u can withstand lava? yeah this is nothing turns out)

secretly loves piggyback rides, but never asks, u just see him get this look in his eyes, and shuffling in place just behind you lol

Wind

touch starved, but what Link isnt lol

his favorite is piggyback rides, since he was raised by his grandma, and there weren’t a whole lot of close, young adults to pick him up as a kid

so now, he takes FULL advantage of u being able to easily pick him up lol

one time u guys were going uphill while a pleasant breeze was blowing-

actually it was gale force winds.

but ur you, so it took Wind flying backwards into you to realize. he also screeched at you for “ABANDONING ME- YOURE GONNA MAKE ME, A LITTLE GUY LIKE ME, CRAWL UP THIS?? HOW COULD YOU-” you give him piggy back rides whenever it’s windy.

will treat u like his own personal ship whenever ur both in the water, which consists of him yelling sailor terms like “turn starboard! raise the sails!” while sitting on ur shoulders while u get slammed (gently buffeted, really) by waves

Hyrule

shy, shy, shy, shy-

the quintessential:

“👉👈 🥺 is it okay, if we maybe hug rn?? I'm just rlly cold, and i know u said you didnt mind, and I saw Wild and Sky just laying on you, sorry if this is weird-”

Hyrule, sweets, you literally love him more than life itself, of course you’ll cuddle the fairy boy

the more excited he gets = the more likely to jump on ur back/wrap his arms around ur waist happily, esp since he’s an extra cutie patootie and will subconsciously seek u out if the environment gets a little rough

Sets an Amazing example for the other Links, not too clingy when ur busy, great at latching onto ur back when things get tough for him, asks politely and thanks you everytime he gets down <3

Hyrule is eternally fascinated by whatever u do, u just walk thru flood waters like it’s nothing and while the rest are used to it by now, he’s the only Link looking at you like your some kind of god 💗💘💖💕🙈

accidentally squeezed ur arm muscles one time when he saw u doing that thing where u curl ur arm and Wind/Wild were able to hang off of it,

you both just stared at each other for a solid minute before his ears turned down and he went completely red and apologized profusely for 5 minutes, before you just scooped him up too lmao (his face after tho)

Four

depending on the cuddle he gets shy sometimes, even worse if more than 1 Link is looking at you two, in which he will attempt to escape ur arms.

keyword being attempt.

you just wrap ur legs around him and trap him instead lol

likes to cuddle you somehow where he’s not in the way but you can keep doing whatever it is you were busy with

if he splits, then u can fucking bet Red is the first to dive into ur chest- unless there is literally, actively, a threat right in front of him, he’s going for it lol, Green loves to wrap his arms around one of yours and just hang off u all day, Blue will wait until ur sitting somewhere and flop on ur legs to purposely trap u there, the little shit, and Vio just likes hugs. he’s such a sweetheart, he just loves being wrapped up and wrapping you up 🥺

And who must be Convinced. (most to least)

Legend

fully expected,

silly man thinks he’s above love and cuddles, and all the good things in life LMAO came for ur throat again

it'll be below-freezing temperatures, in a cave with a barely there campfire, a blizzard outside, the other heroes complaining at him to just get under the blanket so you’ll get under the blanket,

bc you two are just doing that thing where 2 characters have like a table between them and are fake-out dodging left and right to try and catch the other lmao

is most susceptible to cuddles when he’s tired/injured/sick/sleepy.

it’s a cold morning and u just scootch the Links into a pile and use him as a pillow lol, and as long as no one, not even gods, perceives you two, he’ll let you stay

ok but you definitely caught him from falling into lava one time while on Death Mountain, and had to bridal carry him across half a lava lake back to shore, hehe,

Legend swore everyone there to secrecy on their own graves and favorite items

also refuses to let Ravio know of ur human advantages lol

he just wants the attention on himself as much as he can in between the other Links, no need for more competition

Time

silly man just doesn't think of his needs including affection/emotional comfort,

he only rlly initiates when the circumstances are dire, like gale force winds that he can barely walk thru/starting to slip, desert heat getting to him thru his armor and needs ur cooling touch, etc.

he keeps it as professional as he can, like wrapping an arm around ur shoulders, but you just snatch him by the waist and pick him up half the time, was surprised at first, chain giggled at him, then complained lightly, finally just accepted his fate anytime he touches you lol,

YES you have given him a piggyback ride, when a flood of water burst a dam during a battle/the other Links got out but Time didn't bc of his heavy armor,

so u yoink him up and just stood ur ground against the raging waves and climbed a rock until u weren't submerged anymore, poor guy was so worn out from the battle + the flood that he just let you carry him all the way until u camped for the night, and secretly took a nap 😭

like Legend he can be convinced to rely on u when he’s already vulnerable like sleepy/tired/injured/sick, but he does find himself secretly appreciative someone in the group can just lift his heavy ass in full armor/or someone else if it gets bad enough,

got converted and no longer has to be convinced usually, he just doesn't initiate much so u have to lol

Warriors

YET ANOTHER SILLY MAN!!

whats with all these idiots neglecting themselves, both physically and emotionally??

like boy u cant stand the heat of a desert or blizzard, just let in the cuddles 👹

similar to Time, just more vocal abt how appreciative/advantageous it is to have someone to be able to carry comrades out of harsh conditions or battles easily.

Did Not think abt this applying to himself until you literally swept him off his feet like a classic damsel in distress- mans let out a shriek after taking a second to process everything LMAO-

Loudly and Dramatically complains abt u coming to cuddle him, both just to love on him, and to heat him up in a rainstorm, but hugs you back and holds onto you anyway hehe.

Became the 2nd person to find out you’re immune to lightning.

See, everyone heard Legend talk abt u getting struck in a storm in Wild’s hyrule, but no one really came to full terms with it bc they didn't see it. Warrior is now a full believer. He actually got the closest to pissing his armor he ever has in all of his battles bc he forgot abt the metal in the storm = bad idea, until it was too late and u guys were trying to retreat to regroup, bc there were too many black-bloods, only to get full body tackled by you to avoid getting hit by lightning.

You had to bridal carry him for a minute after bc u just got back up after being hit, (it just felt like you rubbed ur body on the carpet and touched a metal wall, like a full body small static shock) bc he was in such a state of literal horror/shock,

Wars saw your life flash before his eyes 💀

Twilight

HA HA HA- HE NEEDS THE LEAST AMOUNT OF CONVINCING LMAOOO

goofy wolf man has wolf instincts that help ur case as to Why You Need to Pet Twilight’s Hair and Hold His Hand at All Times if Possible.

main reason Twi’s here is bc he thinks his height + weight = him not needing u to hold onto/cuddle as much, and he would be proven wrong HA

actually gets all blushy/shy anytime u pick him up, freezes like a puppy who’s gotten scruffed too lol

likes a lot more casual touch/cuddles, like arm around ur shoulder or his, sitting with legs touching, leaning against u when he’s cold, etc.

omfg funniest thing abt Wars/Time/Twi is that they’re the tallest out of the Links, so they make for extra fun when picking them up, cuddling etc.

but the best thing ever happened one time when Twi was still recovering from the Shadow’s wound, it got reopened/ached so bad he couldn’t run, but u all were trying to retreat at the moment bc Big Boss,

and u just snatched him up into a piggyback ride, his legs comically sticking out, but the best part was that Hylians are light.

so you were able to run full tilt adrenaline powered run, to the point you surpassed the other Links ahead, and had everyone laughing and simultaneously trying to conserve their breath to keep running LMAO

Twi grew up tall/bigger than kids his age, and is another victim of “no adult figures to pick him up when he was younger”, so he gets this little giddy smile when u pick him up lol <3

the first time u put him in a bridal carry for smth like river rushing waters, mans blushed, stuttered abt smth the whole time, and then didnt let go after you tried to put him down, u didnt have the heart to insist, so u just carried him around half of the day 😭

☆

sorry some have less than others, its nearly 2am I'm just riffing kicking my feet and shit, so I'm not being very thorough

i hope u liked my spiral into blonde twink insanity (well theyre kinda on a spectrum of twinkness)

anyway goodnight, and have a great weekend!!

to the 2 other ppl who sent asks, ill get to you soon and thank you sm for sending stuff :’)

Please feel free to send asks for requests or just to chat :)

Peace out,

🌙

[the-bi-space-ace]

Clone Cuddle Headcanons

Wrecker is the biggest cuddle bug idk what to tell you. He does run hot however. The amount of times whoever he’s cuddling with wakes up sweating and a thousand degrees is unbelievable. He’s real great to lay on top of though. Right on top. Get up there.

Crosshair is a surprising confusing individual and I keep looking at him in disbelief. He’s not averse to touch but he does want to be the one to initiate it. Especially cuddling. He will sit by himself in silence and then randomly walk up and just plop on top of whoever he’s chosen. They then have to lay there and let him choose the position, the blanket situation, the temperature, etc. otherwise he’ll leave. Cat rules.*

Tech isn’t huge on cuddling either but is willing to not be the initiator if they also respect whatever activity he is doing. If he’s sitting working on a project he will allow one of them to lay their head in his lap or wrap around him as long as they aren’t in the way. He may even play with their hair or rub their backs absentmindedly.

Echo goes through phases. He wants to be touched but not all the time and sometimes he really hates it and other times he really craves it. It’s mainly important to either ask first or let him ask. He likes to sleep near another person and will choose someone to latch on to if he’s in a cuddling mood. Sometimes he literally can’t get enough physical contact to feel comfortable and it drives him up a wall. (Can I please suggest that part of the reason Hunter touches his shoulder so often is bc of those moods where Echo legitimately can’t get enough physical touch. I just think that would be a nice thought.) He feels best when he gets to hold someone else and he is especially partial to Wrecker who not only keeps him warm but also is pretty willing to switch the cuddling up at any point. Good man.

Hunter! Hunter here! Really enjoys a good cuddle! Loves his back scratched or his hair played with! He has passed out on top of the other batchers before and woken up two hours later not knowing where tf he is. He also appreciates a good weight on him so his preferred position if he’s holding somebody is on his back with the other person laying their head on his chest. He runs warm so he’s a good option for the cold nights.

Fives loves everyone’s personal space. Especially Echo’s. He is a cuddle while sleeping type of guy. No need to feel weird about asking him for a cuddle he’s down for it. If anyone sits on the edge of his bed while he’s trying to sleep he rolls over and wraps his arms around their waist and hugs them. Had so much practice at comfort when he was a cadet that it is second nature for him. When he joined the 501st he got real protective of the shinies so they sought him out often when they needed support.

Rex does like a good cuddle but only with specific people. Doesn’t really want to be touched by people he doesn’t know well. Is honestly more accustomed to touch if it’s playful but again. Usually with people he knows well. Likes to lay his head in people’s laps or let them fall asleep on him. Is not too hot or too cold. Got used to the dominos crawling into his bunk while he was asleep and had to adapt to them being clingy on bad days. Got used to it and ended up missing when they weren’t there. Cody calls him a softie. Says they ruined him forever. He gets so grumpy back.

Cody. This man. Idk why but I always headcanon him as a physical touch kind of guy. Doesn’t like overly fond affection in public spaces but is real affectionate in private. Like Rex he’s more comfortable with the playful affection but there’s always a spot in his bed if someone needs it. He’s rarely sleeping through the night anyway. Might as well be the support system for those who need it. More accustom to holding hands honestly. It’s quiet it’s easy he can still use his datapad while he holds someone’s hand.

*I have a cute addition which is that the first time Crosshair plopped down and decided Echo was going to be his cuddle target Echo was in the middle of something and Crosshair just threw whatever Echo was working on aside and laid his head in Echo’s lap while this man just looked at the rest of the batch like ‘help?!? He’s never done this before am I in danger? What do I do!?!’ And everyone else was just like ‘you’re fine just be normal about it’ and after a few minutes of silence he just plopped his hand on Crosshair’s head and that’s how they both accidentally took a three hour nap and woke up disoriented with aching necks.

[lowkeyrobin]

klaus x vampire! reader?!? <33

I can definitely try! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

KLAUS HARGREEVES ; vampire

summary ; youre a vampire dating the seance, klaus hargreeves

warnings ; language, mentions of blood / slight cannibalism, biting

word count ; 277

masterlist

man u freak him tf out

and he started a cult.

he didn't even know you were a vampire for a while

he thought you never going in the sun was some quirky goth thing

he only found out when you admitted you were after you almost died from dehydration

"what the hell?"

"well, you never told me you were immortal"

"...true"

he doesn't really care

don't do any blood sucking in front of him tho

"ewww y/n why on the kitchen floor? we have a bathtub!"

"stfu"

"aren't you gonna go eat someone? it's 10pm"

"I don't eat people I drink their blood"

"same difference"

he's always getting you ugly ass umbrellas to hide from the sun

he's not giving you his blood. he refuses. you don't want it anyways cause he's tainted by drugs

always joking w u over text w the 🦇🧛‍♀️/🧛‍♂️🩸emojis

u reply w 💉🍾 cause fuck u bro

he jokes how you kill ppl and ur gonna go to hell

you joke how neither side wants you and how he'll live forever cause he's a bitch

roasting competitions basically idk

you bite klaus as a comfort seeking thing kinda to ground yourself when you're awfully starved or are just going through it

you don't sleep bc you don't need to, but still lay with klaus for naps and sleep cause wtf else r u gonna do

you age very very slowly so accepting you'd have to live without him for thousands of years one day hurt

hes tempted to ask if you'll turn him into a vampire too but he doesn't wanna be one that bad / he's gonna live forever or at least til his powers disappear

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

HIIIIII :>

Can I please request Ben, Puppeteer, Masky, Liu, and Ej with a s/o that has a HUUUGE hello kitty obsession?? Like room is COVERED in hello kitty plushies and all that fun stuff

Summary: Ben, Puppeteer, Masky/Tim, Liu and Eyeless Jack whose s/o is obsessed with Hello Kitty (headcanons)

Genre: Fluff!!

Warnings: None!

A/n: IM SO OBSESSED WITH SANRIO MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IS POMPOMPURIN I HAVE THIS GAME ON MY PHONE CALLED HELLO KITTY FRIENDS AND I KID YOU NOT IM SO OBBSESSED WITH THAT GAME THAT WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES TO TRY AND SLEEP I SEE THAT STUPID FUCKING GAME WAHHHHH

Credits: Ben Drowned- Creepypasta, The Puppeteer- Creepypasta, Tim Wright/Masky- Marble Hornets, Homicidal Liu- Creepypasta, Eyeless Jack- Creepypasta, Divider- benkeibear, Pictures- Pinterest

Ben Drowned

Honestly he can't say anything because he's obsessed with Hatsune Miku

He claims its Ironic, but it very obviously isn't

But his obsession with Miku (and vocaloid in general), is NOTHING compared to yours

He loves it though, because it gives you a cute dynamic

Every time he sees anything sanrio related, he thinks of you

It doesn't even have to be Hello Kitty specifically, just any sanrio product

And of course, he HAS to get it for you!

You've gotten sodas, plushies, snacks, earbuds, bags, even wipes

Because of Ben, you have almost anything in a Hello Kitty styled packaging

He likes to "trade" obsessions if that makes sense

For example, you wear a vocaloid shirt and he wears a Hello Kitty shirt

Complimenting each other's interests makes him so happy idk

And he DEFINETLY has some form of Hello Kitty merch himself

Whether it be something that you don't like any more, something you just don't have room for, etc, he has SOMETHING

And it makes him so giddy to know that a little bit of you will always be with him no matter what

Jeff makes fun of him for wearing your old Hello Kitty backpack, but he doesn't care because it smells like you, and it carries everything he needs so perfectly <3

He lobes his hello kitty partner

God forbid you break up, because ANYTHING Sanrio related will send him into a meltdown (fucking weirdo)

The Puppeteer

He's a very obsessive lover, so anything you like, he likes

When he sees your Hello Kitty obsession he immediately begins his research

He will learn all Sanrio characters, all characters closely related Hello Kitty, any lore in the universe, official merch, etc

He will fr pull up dripped tf out in hello kitty merch

The shoes, the pants, the shirt, maybe even a hat

You will giggle and kiss his chin, asking what he's doing

And he will shyly ask if you like it teehee

Your obsession is now OUR obsession

Well, with him it's less obsessed with Hello Kitty itself, more so him obsessed with whatever he thinks will make you like him more

You will literally be cuddling or just hanging out and he'll quote hello kitty to impress you

He's trying his best ok, just kiss him and tell him he's doing good

Masky

Your obsession kind of scares him

Not like, in a "omg this is so unhealthy :(" way, because he literally couldn't care less what you're into

He just gets scared of all the DOLLS

Oh my lord the amount of hello kitty dolls you have freaks him out

It's something about how all of them are the exact same thing, just over and over again

The sheer amount of them combined with the similarities between the dolls just weirds him out and gives him a chill up his spine

Good luck getting him to come into your room

He will refuse to unless you're like, sick or something

Other than that, he will not tolerate it

And this is a brave guy! He doesn't typically get scared of dolls, but idk man hello kitty just ain't it

Despite all this, he still loves getting you gifts with Hello Kitty

He knows how much you like it, and just because it freaks HIM out doesn't mean he's gonna not allow you to enjoy it

He won't actively participate in wearing merch like the other guys

He's definetly more of a "hold your plush bag while you go to the bathroom" type guy

Sorry pookies :(

Homicidal Liu

He doesn't get quite as into it as other's on this list might

He's more of a "Oh well I'm happy you've found something that makes you happy :)"

If you asked him to do something like match outfits he'd accept though!

He loves getting to do things like that with you, little stuff but it makes you both happy

He gives all your plushies different names and personalities

Maybe if you ask him nice enough he'll knit them little clothes and scarves...

He also loves to use the plushies to get what he wants

For example, if he wants to go out with you and you say something along the lines of "but im so tireeed" he'll grab a Kitty plush and begin "talking" to it

"Do you hear this? They say they're too tired to go get yummy food with me" He'll lift the toy up to his ear, nodding as if it's whispering something to him before going "I know! I was thinking we could go to their favorite restaurant too! Such a shame"

You'll scoff and roll your eyes playfully, while he brings the toy to your face making obnoxious kissing noises as if the toy is kissing you

Once your laughter fit dies down, he'll ask if you really just wanna stay home or go out

He will happily accept whatever response you give

Eyeless Jack

He is a lot like Liu when it comes to your obsession

More so just a "Oh good for you :)" type guy

He loves to just show up with random things

For example, he will knock on your door before opening it, and silently waving around a little trinket he thought you'd like

He loves seeing your face light up as you rush to come get the gift and kiss him over and over

It makes him feel extra giddy when he "earns" kisses

So expect a lot of gifts

And if you don't give him a kiss one time, he will pout until you do kiss him

grrr give that boy a smooch he loves them

[emo-trash101]

HELLO HELLO ONYX,DEARIE!!

I'm baaaack!~

(me,coming to your blog when I have an Idea because I want to feed you: )

The platonic asker,yours truly,has come once more to request a new platonic headcanon!

May I please have platonic! any character you'd like (Maybe Alastor,Vox and Lucifer,but you may change that as always! All characters are welcome.) With Child!Gn!Reader that randomly goes out (maybe teleports? Idk,just a random idea) and brings back random sinners (mostly poor and homeless) at the hotel/the character's work and goes "They wanted to work for/with you!!" with that little sweet and innocent voice of theirs? They're really naive and talks to everyone really kindly,a bit like my first ask! They're just a sweet sunshine kid that wants to help those in need! It's not their fault there are bad people that may use them,they just want to help!!

Anyways,I think that's good for me!!

Here's another reminder to take care of yourself! Eat,drink and sleep well,honey!

Enjoy writing this new prompt <33

Stay proud,

-Nina <33

I MISSEDD YOUUUU!!! And that prompt is giving me flashbacks to when I brought a feral raccoon into my house when I was a little kid lmao. But I love this!

Alastor, Vox, and Lucifer x Sweet Child! reader

THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC AND SHOULD ONLY BE TAKEN AS SUCH

Pronouns: Second person, gender neutral

Tw: Kidnapping? (Can a child kidnap someone?), pedos, general hazbin hotel

Alastor -

- I would say this man would be disappointed but in all honesty, he probably taught you how to steal people by accident.

- It would most likely take place after Charlie goes on one of her rants about how she needs more people at the hotel, and you being the cute little child you are, waddle away to go find some.

- I feel like he wouldn't particularly notice you missing until you show back up, random ass sinner in tow.

- Obviously you get lectured by everyone for stealing a person off the street and bringing him to where you live.

- cause...y'know...pedophiles happen to be in hell.

- But after you pull out the cute little eyes and the "I just wanted to help" everyone kinda gives up.

- Alastor does make you release him back outside like a butterfly you grabbed (omg that is something I never thought I would write)

Vox -

- As I've mentioned before, this man kinda lowkey sucks.

- Like Alastor, probably accidentally taught you how to steal someone, but he probably did it on purpose or some shit.

- You'd most likely see him murder fire another one of his workers and decide that he needs an immediate replacement.

- So you take your two little feet and waddle down the streets of hell asking anyone and everyone if they want to work for Vox.

- Obviously everyone wants to work for the Vees, so you end up bringing like a hoard of people to the office and kinda just, bring them in.

- As I've mentioned, this man would not notice you being gone like, ever, so when you magically show tf up with like 70 people all in tow, he is partially impressed and partially confused.

- He asks you why you brought so many people and you just look up at him with your cute little baby doll eyes and go "I thought you needed someone to replace mr. dead guy".

- He honestly kinda appreciates it and gives you a little pat on the head as he kills kicks out everyone you brought.

Lucifer -

- This man pays copious amounts of attention to you so the fact you were able to waddle away to go collect people off the street is honestly astounding.

- He was like, super art blocked and could not come up with another idea for a duck, and it was starting to piss both of you off.

- So you do your little thing and walk off by yourself to collect another person to help come up with some sweet succulent duck ideas.

- Well turn out, creepy people exist in hell (surprise surprises).

- So a creepy ass guy follows you to the palace and when you get back Lucifer panics.

- He was worried you died or something and was about to go find you when you show up with a rando behind you.

- Lucifer politely scolds you for running off like that, but before you could introduce him to the guy you found to help, the guy left.

- So you give up and instead devote a lot of your time to making a new rubber duck

- Lucifer ends up making a duck that can track where you are incase you go wandering off again.

This was so funny to write, I hope y'all enjoyed reading it!

[chunkymamatam]

The Obey Me! stories were very entertaining 😊

If you dont mind sharing more, I would appreciate it ❤️

Of course Of course!

Again this was all really fast pace when it happened so like if it seems like so much happened at once, it did, now imagine how that shit felt when it happened.

We were at when Asmo got all pissy and defensive when him and Satan asked me who I'm making a pact with next. I was joking like "You, Asmo, obviously, cutie."

The way this man was like "Do you think I'm that stupid? None of us are as Stupid as Mammon"

I was obviously like "It was a joke."

All this man had to say was "oh"

BITCH APOLOGIZE CUZ YOU ASKED AND I MADE A JOKE WHY'D YOU ASK HOE??? This all happened before I made a pact with Levi idk if I mentioned that but yeah. Nah cuz imma be honest it scared the piss out of me to see Levi try to pounce on me because I got all the trivia questions from the anime right and he couldn't believe I wasn't cheating. The others were however giving me easy questions but that wasn't on my command lmfao

He was a pouty baby when he admitted defeat in the observatory /aff, but yeah not long after I went up into the attic I was in the kitchen and Mammon force fed me Beel's pudding. Bro tried to turn Beel on me and I literally started crying bro. This man is huge and I already have a fear of men so this was not helping bro. I also know how food aggressive he is so I dead ass thought this was it. He asks me if I ate the pudding and I threw Mammon under the bus and was like

"He forced me to take a bite. I told him to put it back."

I've never seen a man's head turn so fast. Man was gonna murder tf out of him. He threw him through the wall and shit. I had to stay in Beel's room for a while cuz that destroyed my room lmfao and pretty soon after that Luke showed up on the doorstep cuz he had a fight with Simeon probably over his prejudice against the demons but I didn't ask so eh. Me and Beel decide to hide him like a good friend and this mfer goes missing. I get there to the basement fast enough that that he's not gonna rock Luke's shit but like he's still pretty pissed so like the traumatized mediator I am, I walk over and grab the book from him and go.

"Hold on, Luke doesn't even know what this is and what it does. There's no need to be hasty, you're a very reasonable man Lucifer. Here's the grimoire back." and I almost had him calmed down enough to see reason and fucking Luke snatched the book out of my hand, I could've beat his ass myself ngl.

I forget what he said to Lucifer but it pissed him off to the point of wanting to kill him again and he threatened as much so Beel jumps in front of him and is like "No punish me instead because its my fault! I let him stay in my room."

So now Lucifer is trying to kill both of them and I tell him no. This man has the audacity to ask my suicidal ass if I wanted to die. I gave this man a look and he realized who he just asked and was like "Actually don't answer that.. One of them is dying. You're going to choose"

I was like "uhm no one is gonna die." This man starts yelling at me that I'm just a human and all this shit about how weak I am. Well, my stubbornness makes up for my lack of physical strength so fuck you lmfao. Anyway he mauled me and I woke up in Beels bed, he looked so relieved that I woke up poor man. He offered me a pact cuz he felt like he owed me and I didn't want him to feel like he was indebted to me or anything so I said yeah to it.

Then the sleep over happened. Man Asmo was wild because he one got us sucked into a labyrinth by his Ex and also he was literally trying to use his charm on me which like why tf are you looking in my eyes like that??? Its hurting autism. Anyway we almost died cuz of his bullshit. That was just the first day too. The next day this man was fucking up the scavenger hunt for the other groups and it was making me and Simeon uncomfortable and Simeon said something which probably hurt his feelings more because they used to be brothers in heaven. He ran off after bitching Simeon out and then I got sent to try and speak some reason to him.

He didn't like that either cuz he was like "You can't tell me what to do. I'm a demon this is what demons do, they ruin things and by the way I'll never make a pact with you." And while he was talking all this shit he was cornering me between the rail and himself. I was so scared he was gonna throw me over and just say I killed myself. Then he has the audacity to be like "Actually if you can get a picture of Lucifer sleeping I'll do it" And I just nod my head cuz I'm fucking terrified bro. I tell Mammon, Levi and Beel we agree to go on and try to do it cuz money, spite, fuck it? idk. but what's important is we got stuck in the dungeon again with Solomon this time. We almost get eaten but Solomon summoned Asmo and did some magic shit so Asmo could better charm this snake. We ended up getting out again but Asmo was whining about his beauty sleep the whole time /Pf. Not long after that (I think? Its been 2 years almost give me a break please sob) during the dinner ball thing that Diavolo did when Lucifer was making his way over to threaten me, I was so violently trying to avoid him. I ended up getting passed to him anyway. I wanted cry man. This man was pretty much trying to crush me against him while saying shit like "I don't know what you're planning but you need to stop before i make you."

BESTIE I HAVE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING INTENTIONALLY PACT WISE OTHER THAN WHAT I WAS FORCED TO AND WHAT WAS NECCESSARY PACT WISE. Nah cuz I shit you not I literally never asked for a pact with any of them other than Mammon and Levi, They all came out and asked me and for one reason or another I was like "fuck it we ball." Anyway, Funny little side note, instead of packing my actually pretty dresses/outfits that were good enough for this occasion Barbatos ended up packing my sequence dress. I've asked him why he hates me on multiple occasions because of it and its our little joke now. He said "I simply did not see the other options" smh time demon, for shame /j

Solomon saved me from Lucifer and the unlocked my magic power for me to use. Well dumb dumb Mammon (/aff) got us stuck in the labyrinth AGAIN and I summoned Asmo and Asmo was like "OOOO Power GIVE. we can make a pact teehee" I'm gonna be honest I agreed to the pact because genuinely that man kinda scared me. We obviously end up getting out and that night Asmo was all up in my bed just looking me over and pointing out all of my details. He was fr even trying to look in my mouth bro ┗( T﹏T )┛

Mammon's jealous ass came in after Asmo basically illuded to trying to fuck. Then one thing lead to another and all of the brothers and Solomon ended up in the room. Someone threw the first pillow and suddenly it was an all out warzone until Lucifer and Diavolo walk in to see what the commotion was. Lucifer wanted to yell at us but Diavolo stopped him and wanted to join. It was no longer a war and just a straight up massacre after that bro.

Lucifer said "hit me if you dare" and obviously I didn't value my life because as him and Diavolo are killing everyone with their deadly ass heat targeting pillows I sneak up behind this man and smack him in the back of the head with a pillow. I shit you not the room froze and he started slow turning I SWEAR HIS EYES WERE GLOWING

I started praying and begging Simeon to help me lmfao I have never run so fast in my life. I managed to hide with Simeon under the covers. I was terrified in the best way lmfao

Okay that's all the mental energy I have for this one. Feel free to ask for more if you want lol

[lunarw0rks]

How would they react to you cheating on them? Idk man I want them to feel pain

CHEATING | TF 141

PRICE

how long had the affair gone on?

you weren't sure you remembered either.

when you and a co-worker shifted from hookups to dates and gifts, even quality time when john was deployed.

you couldn't take it anymore and broke it off months before he came home.

when price finally did — he sensed the guilt in your eyes, soon confirmed by a confession.

he was livid. more so, because all those times he'd called or written you, you seemed normal.

but he always wanted to be mature, even in the nastiest of spats.

after sleeping in separate rooms and cooling off for a few days, he set up and agreed time to sit down and hash it out.

"which co-worker? ... how long? ... do you love him?" he asked, hands folded with eerie calmness.

getitng through this would be an uphill battle, if ever.

SIMON

you hooked up with another, and simon found a man's watch under the coffee table. and it wasn't one of his.

unfortunately, he blames himself more than you.

it's not his fault. it's yours. but he still finds a way to feel remorse toward you.

simon didn't yell. didn't scream or cry. his words were never above a whisper.

"what is it about me? need y' to tell me that, at least..." he refused to sit down on the couch because all he could picture was you and the man screwing around on the cushions.

if the conversation went nowhere, he knew arguing wasn't going to either.

even if it's his apartment, simon leaves. he gives you time to cool off, to decide to leave if that's what you want.

when he comes back, he doesn't speak until you do.

SOAP

doesn't want to believe it at first.

but the evidence didn't lie — how the bartender had seen you face-on-face with another.

and eventually, you told him.

you hooked up with another man. but you weren't drunk. not even disgruntled after an argument and in need of comfort.

you did it stone-cold sober.

soap refuses to be ignored. he's not going to leave things this way. if he has to he physically will block the door.

you're not going anywhere; a conversation is the least of what you owe him.

"sit down." he motions toward the couch, and you reluctantly comply. this was a voice you'd only heard a handful of times, and rarely directed toward you. "i want you t' tell me every bloody detail. and don't bother with getting shy."

GAZ

loyalty is everything to gaz; he would take it the hardest.

he found out before you could tell him. for months, you'd been hooking up with another soldier from his base.

"i don't understand you, and i don't want to." he'd say, forcing you to stop whatever task you're in the midst of.

"and i think you should go."

no chance to explain. no 'is he better than me?' or 'we can work this out.'

just... anger and hurt concealed by a scowl and monotone voice.

once you betrayed his trust, you're probably out of his circle indefinitely.

it's the one thing about him you can't change or compromise.

what once was the thing that turned you on to him, was now the reason you most likely won't get back together.

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ divider cred. - cafekitsune ₊˚✧˖°

[not-goldy]

Sometimes I wish Jimin stop being so secretive on cam and basically a wallflower. I wish he speaks up more and calls out BS immediately, especially during lives like JK/Tae or Joon does or is it because he doesn't get much wierd comments 🤔. Also stop being so fucking humble.. like sir you are a history maker, everything you release are organic hits, have a huge fanbase, your bdays are celebrated as Christmas day, why tf would you think you don't even deserve a music show win ?????? Own your success and skills please 🤧

And I also wish JK stop being so impulsive, saying and doing absolute dumbest things 🤧 sometimes he sounds like those cocky boys who will say they'll make you come thrice in a row and will climax within 2 seconds lol. He's so cocky; knows he's hot and his impact but at the same time he still don't know what he really needs. So I wish he becomes more mature and get his shit together asap

Maybe if they use share these qualities a bit with each other it will be fine lol. JK sharing some of his cockiness with Jimin so he can go 'yeah that me, Park Jimin' bitches 💅' and Jimin sharing some of his level headness with JK, so he can think before doing and saying some things 🥲

Idk how they are even navigating through their relationship when both are on opposite ends of attitude and lifestyles, like is that even possible ? Won't both parties get sick of each other soon? ... or maybe like you said JK is the freedom Jimin is craving for and Jimin is the leash JK very much needed 🤷‍♀️

Set me free was liberating for me and I think Jungkook too cos he stamped his approval on it like you could tell Jimin frustrates him sometimes with the kill them with kindness vibes he has going on.

And I know Jimin is not a push over too cos there's some really hard core ghettoness buried deep inside his slytherine heart- he is the master of self control cos I'll be getting canceled every second if I were him🥲🥲🥲

I'll be dropping mid night rants talking bout yall could never be me😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hash tag jealous

Hash tag up in your man's arms 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And he lowkey be shading too but we don't talk about that🥲

He's constantly trolling haters posting Jungkook shirtless, leaning on him kissing up on him daring yall to come for Kook if he's your mans💔💔💔💔

This literally him on these streets he eats and wink

Shade is cool Jimin but throw the damn tree too🤣

They are both fascinating.

Oh lord not 2 seconds 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

You is going to hell for that😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Not gonna lie, I do enjoy his chaotic character most times. I'm big on diversity. If everyone acted the same way they'd be boring as hell plus I like my BTS a tad crackheads🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

JUNGKOOK'S a vibe. Not many idols like him. He be be tanking on the idol part sometimes- I don't think he even sees or thinks of himself as an idol😭😭🤣🤣

An idol is a whole personna carefully curated to appeal to an audience- when I tell you Jungkook ain't curating shit for no one and to please no one😭😭😭😭😭

Tell him to do aigoo I dare ya🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

Sometimes I just play his memes and sleep. It's the new Netflix and chill for me.

Doesn't take himself too too serious, easy going non judgemental, quirky😭😭😭

And he is very relatable. We all don't say the right things all the time, or do the right things and overthink everything.

Some people don't find that attractive in Idols but I like it. That that I like that

Im a bit of a crack head myself so.... anywho

For an idol, yea perhaps he could be a bit more controlled and polished but not too much cos then he'd lose relatability and seem outta touch.

Frankly I think they are both perfect as they are💀

I wouldn't change much but you are right they both could influence eachother a bit and they do TRUST. 💜

[razielwritesstuff]

Obey Me! Headcannons ~

I have never and will never hide that I dislike Luci

BUT

I do have thoughts

This man is just constantly sipping a caffeinated beverage he needs it to deal with these mfs

He's a single mother of all 6 of his brothers

I think all demons have sharp teeth. His are the least sharp of the brothers and he is PISSED ABT IT TGURBODFK

Fav song is probably by Mozart. Basic ass.

I discussed how the om! chars would deal wirth being in mlp (pls dont ask) and Luci and Luna give me an evil grinch smile

I feel like he'd curse when angry

Idk.

Gay ass

Smells like pine trees or something

I think he'd have a fear of mascots

Like. character mascots.

Don't ask me okay

Smells like axe bodyspray and SADNESS

Am I WRONG????

We all love mammon but that man.... we know he uses axe...

Befriends the local crows.

There is so many he could be carried off

They all give him shiny shit to sell

Did everyone remember how he's canonically a model

He's attractive. Canonically.

Anyways, second-sharpest teeth of the bros

This is cannon (TO ME) but Mammon is just attached to MC like glue

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" "LET GO OF MY HAND THEN????"

He once tried to steal and sell some of leviathan's games

The cast took a while to come off :)

Fav song is something CUNTY ik it

Most girlypop aside from asmo (YTO ME!!!!)

He's great :D

He is so trans to me as a transmasc.

He has a main twitter and an alt twitter. Nobody knows abt the alt so he uses it to doxx ppl he doesn't like

I love Leviathan but I swear to God I don’t think he knows what deodorant is

“man for a guy who sleeps in a bathtub you really have no concept of hygiene”

How many Henrys has he had??? who tf knows.

Fav animal is SNAKES

Loves pokemon. his fav would be gyarados

He will assume anything except romantic intentions at all times

Autistic. As approved by my friend with the 'tism

He would be a brony

Lovable but a Bit Cringe

Has tied Mammon to a chair and forced him to watch stuff before

EXPERT at pirating shit

Would play Undertale.

Speedrunner !!

Would spend like the better part of a month to discover EVERY SINGLE glitch, bug, and exploit in a game to use it to is advantage

Has a sims 4 cc folder that's like 80 terabytes

He's my malewife and he's everything to me.

Would make a shiny living dex on every single Pokémon game

He has multiple cardboard cutouts of his waifus

Satan has an Ao3 account. He writes exclusively on his fav characters

His Ao3 tag has something to do with Sherlock Holmes fight me

He tweets in perfect grammar

He'd kill over a board game

Would cry over a cute cat video

WARRIOR CATS NERD

HE'S COME UP WITH WARRIOR NAMES FOR EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THE CAT HE THINKS IS MOST SIMILAR

Lucifer got assigned as Tigerclaw LMAO

He would get into Leviathan's fandoms but only bc Leviathan forced him. He comes out liking the thing.

His favorite disney movie would be Aristocats

Loves Luigi

He became a cat person specifically because Lucifer is a dog person

He'd also be a brony

The one that can analyze media properly

His brothers use him to spellcheck their essays

He either watches video essays on YouTube or he makes them

Likes reading about witchkraft from the human realm, he finds it interesting

The one that taught Leviathan to make cardboard cutouts

Knows about 50 stray cats and has named them all

Constantly brags about how he has sharper teeth than Lucifer

Smells like a different scented candle every week

Has that stereotypical gay accent

He's zesty

He's girlypop but we all knew that

Listens to Ayesha Erotica

Goes like "GIRL you would NOT believe what Solomon did!!"

He spills all the tea all the time

King shit

He'd wear a dress in a heartbeat and he'd ROCK IT

He would cry over broken nails but not because of the pain it might cause, only because it looks ugly asf now

"I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MAKEUP WAS 40 GRIMM"

The one who painted everyone's nails

Will threaten you in order to paint your nails, but he will do a color you like

King at make up

Absolutely loves Ru Paul

Keeps trying to get Dia to set up a drag race, he's unsuccessful as of now

Strawberry is his favorite flavor

He's very physically affectionate but would absolutely respect boundaries i will kill you if you think otherwise

He would HYPE. YOU. UP.

Has gum on him 24/7

Also has tampons on him so he can give them to the homies who need them (like Leviathan)

IDK man I didn't used to like him that much but he's grown on me

VERY GOOD COOK because of course he is

Loves giving piggyback rides

Tall enough and beefy enough for you to sit on his shoulders

Would also let Belph sleep on his shoulders

He's a golden retriever. We knew this.

Surprisingly good at Just Dance

Not a dog person not a cat person but a secret third thing (he thinks cows are adorable)

Always spares bugs and spiders when he finds them

Cannot watch cooking shows, he's tried to eat the TV before

Loves going to movie theaters, will pay just for the overpriced popcorn

You can tell he genuinely loves you if he shares his food

Like he shares his food with MC and all the brothers are like "W. WHAT??"

Would INSIST you look great no matter what you look like

You will cuddle with him and Belph this is an Order

Smells like food-scented deodorant

He would be too scared to roughhouse with anyone, boy is too strong

Likes just picking people up and carrying them off

He's done this with Satan once and it actually calmed him down

Favorite show is Bluey probably

Favorite animal is a maned wolf or something

Would kill for a klondike bar

Sharpest teeth out of the brothers + bites as a love language

Every time he bites Leviathan it results in Leviathan squealing higher than able to be heard by humankind

Talks in his sleep. It is adorable thank you for asking!

Smells like Lavendar, vanilla deodorant, and a little bit of "hasn't showered in 2 days" hidden underneath

Drinks a lot of milk

Blueberry is his favorite flavor

Lucid dreams a lot

He does not believe dreams have meanings his are always either incomprehensible or if they did have menains have ones he really doesnt like

Would drink monster energy but he hates the taste of caffeine (he just like me forreal)

Gummies are his favorite snack

He gives off trans energy but i honest to diavolo can't tell if he's transfem or transmasc or neither i CANT TELL

He's girly pop in his own unique way

His DDD's ringtone is Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica

He's neurodivergent to me i just dont know how

Chews on everything for sensory reasons

Spoiled. Because he's the youngest sibling ofc he is

Every time he drinks hot cocoa he puts marshmallows in it

He considers "barging into your room and scooching you over in your bed to cuddle" a sleepover

Alternatively he'll get Beel to bring you to their room

Hey everyone remember how he's canonically a yandere-

Anyways he's cool :)

[youremyheaven]

Heaven, I need some advice: how do I get rid of the guilt of men paying for me

I want my man to feel masculine and a leader (and I want to be spoiled ☺️🥰), but I also want to be treated as an equal in the relationship and contribute in some way, bc otherwise I feel like crap 😭😭

I’d like your input bc I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes I’ve made in my past relationships

Mhhmmm

Why do men want to date women? To have sex with them of course

I'm not saying no man will ever be interested in you as a person yada yada yada but unlike women who fall for a guy's personality and then grow to find him attractive , men are more shallow and visual creatures. They only make an effort to get to know you if they find you attractive. Regardless of whether or not he sees a future with you, the point is, he's taking you out because he's attracted to you (attraction= wanting to have sex with them, just to simplify things for anyone reading lmao)

Now, women in society are valued for their sex appeal whether we acknowledge it or not. Prostitution is the world's oldest profession for a reason. How society aka the patriarchy treats women who aren't "attractive" (curvy enough but slim enough, young or attractively old enough, modest but still nasty, simple BUT hot) is very 🤢🤢🤮🤮

All of this is to say that as a woman, attractiveness is your capital. Use that efficiently.

Now, do not get me wrong. Being attractive ≠ being treated right ALL the time. It just doesn't work that way.

Taking advantage of your beauty and/or monetising it ≠ being equal to men or enjoying the same social privileges as them.

HOWEVER, the mindset you need to have is: He's just a guy who's trying to impress me to perhaps get me to sleep with him and/or have a relationship with me. Either way, HE needs it more than I do because men are lonely creatures by nature. So if HE needs you so bad, then why would you not sit back and let him pay for things which is THE least he could do?

Because what else do you get out of this arrangement? Someone who may or may not text/call you, spend quality time with you or ever be reliable? He better pay up if he wants me to sit there for 2 hours and spend my time with him lol 🤣

Everytime I hear girls go like 😩😩 he's such a gentleman 😩😩he opened the door and pulled out the chair for me 😍😍 I have to laugh. That's BARE MINIMUM, idk what barn animals y'all are dating but that's literally the LEAST any man can do. I went out last week with a guy and I was on his rooftop by the pool and had taken my shoes off and when I had to put it back on, he did it for me and neither of us were like 😍😩😍 because that's literally so basic. I did think it was sweet but like that's how men SHOULD treat you, tf

Normalise a man taking care of you. Driving you, picking you up, dropping you off, paying for you, holding doors open for you, holding your hand when climbing stairs, giving you their jacket, giving you napkins, putting you first, making sure y'all are doing what YOU want to do, surprising you with gifts, helping you etc

Y'all don't expect anything from the men you date and then complain about them being assholes. Like???

Just to be clear, a man can do all of these things and STILL be an asshole because that's how men are. But the ones I date know for a fact that they couldn't even touch my pinky nail without bending over backwards proving themselves to me. And I just think that's how it SHOULD be. Bc otherwise what am I even doing with them??? Like what am I getting out of this?? Texts?? Voice notes??? Lol (and the texts and calls better be full of praise and meaningful stuff too 😌🤌)

You won't feel guilty once you start thinking of this as what men owe you.

I shudder to even think of spending my time with a guy who will split the bill with me and text me when he's horny like 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

A date isn't about equality. It's about a man proving his worth to you. So give him the opportunity to do so. Having a girlfriend or seeing a woman is a bigger status symbol for them than having a partner is for us. Being perceived as single is "better" for women but being perceived as taken is better for a man. (😍 Patriarchy 🤌)

Men always treat unavailable women better than the ones who are constantly available.

You text him all the time, split the bill with him, try to make things easier for him etc and he'll subconsciously resent you for it. Yk those self help books that talk about why men love bitches??? Yeah same logic

Be aloof, be uncaring to some extent and just treat money as one of the things HE brings to the table because YOU ARE THE TABLE.

I've seen the same men treat different women differently. Even in college, I'd have the most nonchalant dgaf about anything guys help me out, carry my bags, fix things for me etc. there are perhaps many factors at play but an important factor is that I allow myself to be helped and that makes the men around me feel masculine.

Like I don't think it's beneath me to ask a man (a man I know, not just a guy I'm dating) for favours or help. OBVIOUSLY I would never put myself in a position where I NEEDED him or was DEPENDENT on him because ewww 🤢🤮🤢 but just small things that I could do on my own but don't want to 😌 it'll make him feel like a champion to have solved my problem for me and boost his ego whereas I've consciously orchestrated the whole thing 😈

I'd say the key is to kind of deliberately be a babygirl 🥺 don't be so clueless, naive and annoying that you're constantly needy BUT don't be such an independent girlboss that people don't find your energy welcoming or wholesome. Even just socially, people like helping others and like being with people who make them feel "needed" somehow. A lot of friendships and non-romantic associations suffer because there's too much independence and nobody makes the other person feel valued.

One time I went with my friend to buy her a pair of platform heels. Nobody at the shoe store paid her any kind of attention and she had to ask them repeatedly for her size and was kept up by them. It came down to two pairs and the lady kept emphasizing the price like "this is 1.6k 🙄🙄" and my friend bought that pair just out of spite bc that lady thought she couldn't afford it (it was really cute and worth it tho) but it was such an eye opening experience for me because I had never seen anything like it before 😳 I will say that I probably seem kinda clueless and that could be the reason I'm always helped 🤔 but in truth, my friend had such girlboss energy (which I liked bc she always took care of me hehe) and nobody helped her bc she just went about business like she could do all of it on her own,,, people are always willing to help those who need help

You can get whatever you want by either having a very go getting baddie attitude 🥵🤌 or by being soft and gentle 🥺✨. Ideally a combination of the two will work wonders.

Don't be such a baddie that you make everybody around you feel unwanted and useless. But also don't be such a bbg that you're basically a doormat.

The key to being spoiled is believing you should be spoiled 😌

Hope your spoiled era is coming soon 🤌

Love,

Heaven