#idk it just makes me kinda sad lmao
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also in terms of the bolas playlist it's fascinating to me that the songs added by each person have a slight tendency to represent a consistent aspect of bolas
like
the songs added by slime are their chaos
the songs added by philza are their rebellion
the songs added by cellbit are their rage
the songs added by baghera are their anguish
it's so fucking FASCINATING TO ME but i don't know enough music theory to elaborate lmfao this is Vibes Only
(mouse's songs i can't boil down to an easy noun which is why they aren't mentioned lmao anyway they go hard asf)
(also i went on the longest fucking unhinged elaboration in the tags lmfao i almost didn't have enough tags left to tag "long tags" at the end
(i could have even gone on longer in terms of where their characters were at entering purgatory [philza: cage for a cage; cellbit: fed worker murders; baghera: her past as a federation experiment; slime: turning into a code because of the code pretending to be his daughter] but i ran out of space and also time it's 4AM AAAAA)
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#this is a sweeping generalization btw esp for baghera's she added a WIDE variety of music#qsmp bolas#sorry i forgot that tag existed lmao#i will elaborate slightly:#slime added: find your flame; gas gas gas extended; waltz of the meatball man; foghorn sound effect#philza added: b.y.o.b.; throne; the melting point of wax#cellbit added: hayloft II; brazilian dança phonk (which roier literally played during purg while beating the shit out of bbh lmao)#baghera added: can you feel my heart; still waiting; and coincidentally she added 'it's been so long' (the fnaf song lol)#TO BE CLEAR THESE ARE GENERALIZATIONS#baghera also added the government knows [REBELLION] and oops [CHAOS]#philza added given up [ANGUISH]#cellbit added zombie [ANGUISH] and tokyo drift [CHAOS]#slime added as above so below [ANGUISH]#it's not a perfect category; ESPECIALLY for baghera's songs i want to make that so clear in these tags#HOWEVER. it is interesting.#anyway i went after lyrics for these examples but just generally when going through the playlist the first time#i kind of learned that like.#music to murder to was probably cellbit; punk millenial music was probably philza#the wackiest shit was probably slime (was shocked to find out tokyo drift was a cellbit song for this reason lmao)#baghera's i usually could only pin down bc it didn't sound like anyone else's#and mouse's added songs i could not describe the vibe if you threatened me for it but it has one#i guess the closest vibe is 'a college radio station run by anime fans' and even then it's not that close#it kinda excludes songs like the b//ad bun//ny songs#unless college anime fans are also fans of them in which case great!#IDK IT'S 4 AM I WAS JUST MAKING MYSELF SAD ABOUT TILIN I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP#shut up vic#block game brainrot#long tags
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there was a bbbat rhyme anima talk event today~ it was as chill of a time as it could be with kimura in the room lol but we got to hear some fun stuff from them!!!!
when asked what were their favourite scenes from the anime, kimura answered the place bbbat’s fight scene episode stood out to him bc it looked like a dungeon
ishiya-san really liked how this time around, they got to rap by groups in addition to teams!!!! it was really neat to sing with his fellow 2gumi lol
amasaki-san loves that one scene from bbbat’s episode where 2️⃣3️⃣🌙⚖️ were attacked by enemies while trying to hit the time switch. that whole it’s a shark!!!! no it’s actually humans!!!! scene is really funny lol
hayama-san really loved seeing everyone’s ending song animations!!!! like you could tell they were made with love and care for each division and their fans
sakakihara-san loved just seeing jyushi’s bandmates make an appearance and seeing them interact within the plot!!!
takeuchi-san really liked the visuals in sanity!!!!! especially that kaleidoscope visual they gave bat!!!!
they also asked for general impression in the anime and starting with bat:
hayama-san was really impressed with the artstyle lol. it’s the first time they got to see bat move and on top of that, the style pays a lot of respect to kazui-sensei’s art!!!!!
sakakihara-san liked how they managed to show jyushi’s growth as a person, have his still push him forward as he takes a step forward to help someone else
takeuchi-san got to see hitoya’s office for himself in the anime and was really impressed with how big his office is actually lmao
on bb side, kimura prefaced with how ordinary bb’s character setting is compared to like, mtc’s yakuza, policeman, soldier set up since they’re just a trio of bros. but that in itself is their power and it’s nice to see in the anime too
ishiya-san liked how they portrayed bonds in the anime and the strength those bonds brought!!! he gave an example of jiro feeling a little pressured but ready to step up to the challenge after hearing saburo’s contributions in the 3gumi episode
amasaki-san really liked how the anime showed a sense of each division protecting their hoods!!! kinda got hoodstar vibes lol
next they had to come up with a word or phrase that encompasses bbbat’s dynamic/vibes. for whatever reason kimura was really having a hard time understanding this as a concept (and it lowkey killed ishiya-san and amasaki-san’s braincells lol) but since bat were on it and ready they went up
hayama-san wrote ‘love’, sakakihara-san wrote ‘shounen manga’ and takeuchi-san wrote ‘one big family’
hayama-san said bbbat share similar expressions of love, bat shows their familial like love, bb has their love as siblings and ichiro and kuukou have carried on their love as partners from their naughty busters days (at which hayama-san and sakakihara-san started giggling like the fudanshi they are LMAO)
their energy and action kinda gives shounen manga to sakakihara-san!!!!
it was at this time bb finished their answers and revealed they all so happened like woah crazy coincidence bruh wrote the same stupid pun that doubled as them saying ‘they’ve got some kick ass ball busting energy!!!’ and them flexing their bonds lol
bc of this takeuchi-san didn’t get to explain lol and after kimura poked fun at him for it, hayama-san managed to tie all their response together since they were still similar in vibe. amasaki-san said hayama-san was being too nice to them LOL 😭😭😭
the last segment was them playing a quiz game where they had to watch a scene from the anime and answer a weirdly specific question about it lol. bat won 30-29 (LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) and it was very entertaining lol but there were two moments that made me really laugh lmao
at the start of it, ishiya-san and amasaki-san all of a sudden stood up and started jeering and shit talking like actual six year olds lol. not a single bat seiyuu had the thought to rise to the provocation LOL but takeuchi-san protectively blocked them with his arm and told them they didn’t to need to stoop to their level lmao
for the first question, they needed to answer what was ichiro’s phone battery at in the scene. kimura loudly stated this was his hour (he knew the answer lol) and as takeuchi-san stepped up to rep bat’s answer, hayama-san coyly leaned over to look directly at kimura to ask, ‘was it in the 70s? 🙂or the 60s? 🙂maybe 50s? 🙂’ and the way kimura just froze LOL
kimura: that was really scary!!! like yikes!!!! yikes!!!! i thought i was being puppeted for a second!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭
#this is vee speaking#i’m a little brain dead this morning lol i’m typing this but i’m not sure if it’s making sense lol#so gomen if it’s a little stilted my usual flair lol is currently mia 😭😭😭#this bbbat event originally was supposed to only have ishiya-san amasaki-san and the bat seiyuu and lmao#me seeing the lineup: hm!!! well no kimura is kinda sad ig but that just means everyone will actually get to speak and really nerd out lol#hypani twt: actually kimura subaru can make it!!!!!!!!#me:…………………………………………………………………………………………………..okay 😌#like it’s entertaining to watch ishiya-san and amasaki-san be kimura’s dual tsukkomi and backup boke#but i like listening to ishiya-san nerd over hypmic lol he was actually going to have a different answer for that bbbat vibes segment#but bb had a joke to make instead lol but it’s fine!!!!!! i like shenanigans too!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!#ALSO I WISH THE BAT SEIYUU TOOK PICS OF THEMSELVES MORE OFTEN THEIR CLOTHING COORDINATION WAS SO UNDERSTATED BUT FIRE#THEY ALL HAD A PURPLE TOP AND A SEETHRU/OPAQUE ACCENT#HAYAMA-SAN BUST OUT A FISHNET TOP TAKEUCHI-SAN HAD A KNIT FIT KINDA TOP AND SAKAKIHARA-SAN HAD A WHITE OPAQUE TOP#AND THEN HAYAMA-SAN HAD ON WHITE PANTS SAKAKIHARA-SAN HAD ON BLACK AND TAKEUCHI-SAN HAD A COMBINATION OF THE TWO#IT WAS REAL EASY ON THE EYES IDK WHY THEY NEEDED TO SERVE FOR THIS TALK EVENT BUT THEY DID AND I APPRECIATE THEM LOL
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#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed#liam payne#death#i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways#ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the#way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything#else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one#out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel#for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage#self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally#enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i#didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore#and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive 🙃🙃🙃 that was kind of the final#straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways#so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was#disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a#part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this#im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine#le text post
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ahaaa. redraw of this oldass drawing
#art#my art#digital art#digital illustration#fanart#gintama fanart#sakata ginko#sakata gintoki#gintama#this took me longer than it shouldve#what can i say im lazy as fuck#idk if ive said it here before but it always bares repeating: none of my art is finished im just finished with all my art#i dont go into any piece with like a vision of it im goin purely off vibes n i stop when i think theres nothin else i can do other than jus#startin over#so im not like suuuper happy w this but i do like it better than the original#ur allowed to like the og better but dont tell me bc itll make me sad lmao#haaated the hair & face on the og & i am satisfied w both now#also the lil thing of the pattern was sooo fun to draw i almost put way too much fuckin time into that i actually feel like i did anyways#but im srs its so fun#the strawberry was a pain i made a no strawb vers n i kinda like it more but. i gotta post the strawb version#i put too much effort into the strawberry. and yet. not enough. basically i gave up ✌#its what i do best#um. i might make more gintama art. sorry lol#ik i said it like in the tags on my last post the lil sneak of this piece but like sorry if u followed me for any fandom in particular#i lure u in w 1 good piece for ur fav media & then i disappear for months & come back w a completely different fandom#bait wait and switch#anyways lmfao thats the post
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have you heard of bill cipher, if so did you know there is a book about him coming out later this year
You say that like I didn't have a very intense GF phase around the time the finale was airing and also again in 2019 and that as soon as I heard about the Book of Bill I preordered a special copy on the same day, ahaha,,
#Shima answers questions#(Yes. The answer is yes.)#The fact that some people don't know I was HUGE into GF makes me kinda sad. LMAO#Idk I just remember GF kinda being the Thing that got me popular on tumblr back in college#I had a lot of AUs and comics that I posted back then :")#And then in 2019 I made MORE AUs and comics. Because I am insane#ANYWAY LMAO yeah yeah I have Journal 3 I'm SO excited to read the Book of Bill when it releases#Gravity Falls
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i hope when the lisa definitive edition releases old and new players start to see the party members as not only a fun mechanic to progress in the game but also as their second purpose (specified even in their gang page)
which is to tell how different the people of olathe are from eachother from good to neutral to bad.
all of the party members got their own personalities, points of view and goals, which i've always been appreciative of because it makes them all feel like they're their own person and it shows that they're not going to think exactly like you just because they're on your side.
so some of them can be assholes that despise brad for different reasons and are even creepy to buddy and others can just be neutral on the whole thing or don't care about brad but don't hate him and there are others who are nice people who just want someone to hang out and get attached to brad and it pains them to betray him at the end. some of them even got someone they care about too the same way brad cares for buddy.
and all of this is made just so you don't see them only as tools, they are written this way to show you what the people of olathe are like from a closer perspective. the only other way to do this would be using npcs which would go more overlooked, and it already IS overlooked by players
becuz over time i've seen toooo many fans who speak as if absolutely every man in olathe is an asshole and a pedo, which is why they congratulate tooley too much just for being decent to buddy. i like him but you give him too much credit for something other characters do as well.
and they talk like these are just 'olathe standards' and like it's okay for this game when No, this game condemns this type of behavior at all times and it makes it very clear. it's not normal, it's just common
i mean was terry a creep towards buddy??? bo?? carp?? shocklord? birdie? nern? olan? the warlords??? and more characters and there are even npcs who deeply question the stuff going on around buddy or are simply not interested in her
and then i see takes such as "maybe x character is gay becuz they don't seem interested in buddy". pal i can think of a million better reasons to consider a character gay (sometimes no reason at all, have fun). (also again, TOOLEY. i mean he was seen at the beehive, isn't that a better reason to think he's gay??)
you don't need to be a pedo and a rapist to be attracted to women, and it's crazy how little the concept of consent matters to some people, because this isn't the only time i've seen this type of thinking over a piece of media.
this is a way of thinking that comes from people who got into lisa for the fun battles and do not understand the story, and it's sorta okay, it's fine if the battles are your favorite thing or if you're not that fond of emotional stories, but you can't ignore this part of the game, to do that you better just play something else, because my problem is that when you try to explain the emotional matters of lisa's story they never want to listen; they preffer living in their little bubble of misinterpreting everything. (like the amount of times i've tried explaining to other fans why lisa isn't worst than her goddamn dad and it's like talking to a wall) like damn, i love the battles too but i can perfectly have both things yknow.
anyway just my silly little thoughs that have been going thru my mind these past weeks, i take this game too seriously but i also feel like it's dumb not to because that's what it wants you to do.
hope things go well when the definitive edition drops and that everyone enjoys it 8)
#getting overwhelmed at the attention ive been getting in lisa twitter#lately so i might just post my silly opinions here lmao (since lisa tumblr is kinda dead)#on the topic of tooley it makes me sad to see ppl hate him but i also understand why#fans have been reaaaal weird about him#and idk if he is even there to make some sort of statement which makes him uncomfortable#i liked when i realized he was in joyful and thought he was a cool guy and that's literally it.#at most i thought that it would be nice if he could be buddy's friend just for the fact that buddy needs one#but she has a hard time maintaining relationships of any sort anyway#also don't ship them pls#aside from it being bad it's like taking what tooley said about her and wiping your ass with it#lisa rpg#lisa the painful#long post#takes a fancy sip of my water like it's wine#LIKE WHAT DO YOU THINK THE CHARACTER BIOS ARE FOR SRSLY#lisa ramblings#this absolutely goes on the tag
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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good
#i'm usually a sebastian kinda guy but i do think it's silly you have to say you like scifi to gain friendship points w him like cmon man#i will say though that. my bestie's baby daddy being named shane kinda does make it hard to like him 😭 unfortunate but not his fault#ik a lot of ppl are weird abt his recovery and his messy ass room bc they play stardew to make things look pretty or whatever#but i'm actually kind of glad he's a realistic depiction of addiction... the problem is his dependence on indulging in alcohol when he's#depressed not the fact that he drinks period... i think that a lot of ppl are unrealistic abt alcoholism (including me abt my dad's)#but concernedape did really good w him imo. anyways all this to say that i'm really glad shane never expects someone to be a certain way#i know most of the candidates are like. archetypes or whatever and i think that's fine they are very sweet and cute regardless but#i think maybe i didnt romance him before bc i related to him so badly that it hurt seeing myself reflected LMAO dead end life and being#suicidal about it like. i've never had a drug dependence but i'm not really in a position where i can ever make my own decisions anyways#but regardless. there is smth to someone who slowly warms up to you when they can't ignore your kindness any longer and have no reason to#act like an abused dog anymore which. does make me sad just to say but that is how he acts beforehand#idkkkkk idk i think people are always too caught up with his addiction and his messy room to actually see him without realizing that#getting better is a lot harder than it appears and that having a dirty room doesn't mean you aren't trying to be better. sigh#besides it's not like. the end of the world that he has a beer sometimes. have you tried going thru life completely sober? it sucks#ok im done LMAO but yeah i've found myself gravitating towards him this time around when i've romanced sebastian literally every playthru#til now. hmm!#ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING. i like how he's basically a twist on the classic useless husband trope in media where they love sports and drinking#but he's not a bad person and the only reason he's mean to you at first is because he hates himself and his own life and he makes an effort#the more you get close to him instead of the opposite. i like that a lot. ok now i'm done
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a random thought but i really am very obsessed with how deeply committed bruce is to his love of people and to the extent that it’s a regular divide between him and talia. not that she is without love, no, hardly so, but love will never come before principle for her in the sense that the principle does stem from love, but from a selfless love, not a selfish one. and i use these two descriptors purely as a means of analyzing perspective, so selfless and selfish not necessarily as moral indicators as they are often used today but merely as expressions of whether you’re acting for the sake of others or for yourself. talia is someone repeatedly acting at expense to herself for the sake of others. she gives her child away, she ends her marriage, she doesn’t say a word about it again for years despite having the chance, she takes on a high level espionage mission without speaking a word to her ex-lover, maybe to protect herself, maybe to protect him. whether those were worthwhile decisions to take is certainly debatable, but she acts near strictly from a perspective of caring about others and the world first. bruce is comparatively a very selfish person. every victim an extension of his own trauma, every grief taken to heart, every desperation for companionship so heavily internalized that he ends up pushing people away bc at some point he can’t bear to take them down under with him in his sorrow. it’s funny that he tries to be the rational voice in a room bc up to a point he is, but he also cares too much about his own personal affairs to be that way consistently
and in light of all of that i am thinking about the conversations he and talia must have in that alternate universe where damian is normal and newly revealed to both of them as a concrete concept in their lives, for bruce as the son he never had and for talia as the son she gave away, come back to them by way of fate. why did you never tell me you didn’t actually miscarry. why did you never tell me you had a son and you gave him away. why did you pretend like it was over when it never was. why did you look me repeatedly in the eyes over the years like there wasn’t something more that was there. when you said you couldn’t talk about it before i boarded a plane back home i held my tongue. when you let yourself be beaten within an inch of your life bc your city was falling to pieces i held my tongue. when my father took the contingency plans you made and used them to turn your friends against you i held my tongue. when i worked for a man who would for all intents and purposes use the knowledge of my relationship with you against you i held my tongue
how can bruce, a person so wrapped up in his love for people, not understand the number of sacrifices that talia has had to make for his own sake. her repeated protection of him, of his sanity, of his sanctity, is simultaneously her greatest crime and her greatest benevolence to him. she carried that grief of loss for years and years bc of how important bruce is to her. and bruce loves her, loves damian, too much to even begin to understand what love means outside of the parameters of his own feelings for them. that is his dilemma writ large wrt people he loves. that he can’t see the extent of what they do for him, bc he loves them too much and doesn’t know how to get out of the sheer grief and possessiveness of it
#bruce wayne#talia al ghul#he’s like an asian mom kind of. but yeah like i think this is the one thing i am willing to cede to anti bruce people#albeit it makes me more obsessed with him rather than makes me hate him lmao#like idk i think it’s fascinating how like. inadvertently self obsessed he is#like i really don’t think he does it on purpose he’s simply. incredibly attached to the people he cares about#and that kind of messes everything else up bc it’s like#he does the mature thing. physically. he lets people leave and he doesn’t retaliate against their anger (ntt abuse begone)#he kinda sorta just sits with it. but that’s exactly the problem 😭 like bro. process. process..#not everything is about you and how sad and pathetic and miserable you are of your own choice!#sometimes you have to think about what other people are doing for you! bc they love you and that’s love too!#you can’t infantilize the people in your life bc you care about them. you can’t rob them of their capacity to care for you in equal measure#personal essays
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old drawing I never posted. i like these two freaks, I should draw them more
#rubin#skironir#oc#rukaan#humanization#skironir is fully on board with the murder for the record. She likes rubin because he loves to kill people and she thinks it's cool and fun#someone warned her when she was like human-nineteen (im not sure how to translate caribou ages to humans LMAO could've been#anywhere from 19 to 25ish) that there was a weird loner freak eating out of the garbage and threatening people with knives and she went#'damn thats crazy. hes kinda hot. im gonna be his friend'#rubin (also approximately the same age as her) was like 'ive never had a friend before and im not going to start now. fuck off'#and then failed so hard at not having any friends that he fell in love like an idiot and now he's stuck with her forever and she can't get#rid of him. which works for skironir because she would be very sad if she did get rid of him#im not sure im gonna keep the she/her pronouns for skir. in all the stuff i've written for the deer game with skir i use he/him#but rubin using he/him pronouns in the mg!au also trips me up a bunch because i keep being like this is girl rubin he's a girl i made him#into a girl and now he's a girl. and then i get lost in the pronoun weeds LMAO#you undrestand#anyway i enjoy them a lot#very straightforward characters. they roll into town. they cause problems. they kill someone. they leave#i should make magical girl katjaana straight up just a dude. for balance. a dude who uses she/her and turns into a magical girl also#or maybe i could go full tuxedo mask with her.... idk
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prostrate in the sawdust of my enclosure staring up at the ceiling.
#i hate capitalism so much lmao it’s truly the source of all evil#LIKE#how many good writers are we missing out on bc they’re struggling to pay the bills and feed their families and don’t have the time or#the energy to write?#u hear about all our classic writers—the clever bastards and the poets and the future bestsellers—who like#make time or get up before dawn before they have to feed the kids or write on the bus and it’s like i’m sure so many others out there are#doing those same things but—everything feels so much harder now?#idk i’m just kinda sad tonight LMAO don’t mind me merms is just#having a moment 🥹🔫#im gonna delete this later probably 💀💀💀 DONT LOOK
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BEHOLD... 🩶 RANDALL SIM!! 🩶
#now the question is will i actually PLAY THE GAME or am i already bored LMAO#sometimes i just do CAS and then peace out 😅#it makes me kinda sad cause sims games used to be my FAVVVE i could play them for hours and hours and never get bored idk what happened#randalltag#caitiechat
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I see ppl making bluesky accounts and feel like I wanna join bc cohost shut down and I've been kinda wanting another social to post my art at. But also it looks way too much like twitter and I don't like it. Bad vibes
#ramblings#i feel like i've heard abt the website having like. actual issues#but i cannot for the life of me remember what those issues are or if I like. saw it in a dream or some shit#so really i'm just drawn away by the vibes alone. i don't like how it looks lol#like i kinda understand WHY it looks like that. like the site was built off of twitter's code or something like that i think#but still. twitter vibes are stinky :/ also no custom themes like tumblr ://///#i'm still kinda sad cohost shut down i really liked that site. it had good vibes most of the time#and a really good filtering system#it was nice#despite all of this there's still a small part of me that's tempted to make an account there but like. idk man#the more i think abt it the more torn i am so i'm not gonna think abt it lmao
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#today’s song on repeat#🥴#we cryin in the club bois#the sad bois club#(my car)#im not actually crying just metaohorically dw#i’ll cry again when im off work 💀💀 we only have 3 min left of my break#gemini moon#renee rapp#snow angel#we aint trusting a gemini chat 😤#thats what we’re blaming and i will not be changing my mind ty 🫠🤚#makes me feel better if it was written in the stars#HAHAHA#MAYBE *THIS* IS THE FAULT IN OUR STARS#im so sleep deprived#idk what to tell you man#its def a snow angel kinda day#may put the whole album on repeat#🥲🫶#the thunder outside is a paid actor#lmao#i hope this doesnt make you insecure#🫠
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Me and my cat are exactly the same and it's hilarious. Like my gf just got a new rug to go over a cord we have on the floor (my autism along with some other factors make me really clumsy and I WILL trip over it so yeah) but she had me feel the rugs at the store because she wants one that's also an okay texture for me. Well she grabbed one and showed it to me and it's just *chefs kiss* very good texture. So immediately when she lays it down at home, me and the cat both sit on it before she's even done adjusting it XD
#weve both got a touch of the tism#also he gets sensory overload which i think is endearing#but also kind of sad especially when other people dont understand whats going on and make it worse#or just generally resent him for something he cant control#hehe also he has a lot of the same stims as me#like looking out the window and pacing (i walk but he zooms cause cat) and kneading things and feeling all the soft textures#and he eats weird by knocking one piece of kibble out of his food bowl at a time and eating it#unless hes famished. which i used to eat all of my food one piece at a time and would even get mad/aggravated when other people didnt#like seeing people just shove a whole handful of skittles in their mouth would give me this visceral disgust and hatred lmao#i was a weird kid. im honestly not sure why i grew out of that but it kinda makes me sad#i think it was my eating disorder. idk im not a fan of the disgust but the way i used to eat i think i enjoyed food more#more than i have in a really long time#i also think its funny that me and the cat both copy each other so weve just created this feedback loop of autistic behavior#its hilarious. sometimes he even tried to pet me by like placing his paw on me a few times and its so cute
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What's PMD Explorers of the Spirit? 0v0
It’s a PMD Sky romhack! It serves as both a sequel and a canon divergence kinda thing. I’m not super far into the game but it’s really interesting so far 👀 I’ll definitely be posting more about it as I play through it!
#Several things I’ve noticed:#Idk if they adjusted the level curve or what but HOLY shit. The dungeon mons are so strong for some reason.#I never got my ass kicked this hard early game until this hack lmao#Also. Us bickering with Chatot is very funny. And deserved.#But it also makes me sad bc I love Chatot SO much#Don’t fight with him he’s just trying his best :(((#It’s really strange how much the hero seems to hate the guild#When I watched Smant’s playthrough of Sky he mentioned how much the guild is like a cult and I SCREAMED#BC HE’S KINDA RIGHT. And the hero alludes to this too#Anyway. Again I’m not super far into it yet but I will recommend it ;)#Bc a friend recommended it to me and I trust their judgement lol#I’m enjoying it so far!#Pokemon#PMD#PMD EotS#Shima answers questions#thatrobotgirl
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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad
#tw s3lf harm#i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual#its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#3d ana#not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen#so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years#and to be clear im very pro recovery#which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed#i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me#so for not its a whole lotta#male thinpo#slef harm#right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that#slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else#not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this#but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO#i joke of course#anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery#ana moots#body chex#someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable#at least for now#also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too#also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick#but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro#because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way#and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help
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