#which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed

[fvckednddistvrbed]

i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad

[miraculousverse]

This is my 'I wanna make you love Felix' saga.

I'm convinced that he could've been such an awesome addition to the main unit of characters.

Sassy, stubborn, rich, snobbish but righteous and ready to fight for the people he loves.

Also. Hear me out.

Luka x Felix. I have a whole headcanons spreadsheet on that ship 😂

I really love how well their personalities go together and how it would take them a few years to go from “acquaintances” to “boyfriends.” I imagine it wouldn’t be an easy journey but very fulfilling in the end.

They both could learn a lot from each other and become that couple that no one understands how they ended up together. They probably would be very misunderstood by others once they end up in a relationship due to their mutual tendency to keep their relationship very private and not being very affectionate in public.

Some would think their relationship is lacking in romance and passion, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

They’re perfectly comfortable with the way their relationship is. No unnecessary drama or conflict, clear communication, and acceptance of each other’s personalities.

Felix is very analytical and hates wasting time on mulling over problems that have easy and logical solutions, while Luka is very non-confrontational and gentle, avoiding anything that can cause a disagreement. They appreciate each other’s approach, and it creates a very healthy environment for their relationship.

They also managed to bring out better qualities in each other throughout the years and through their friendship, which was developing and becoming stronger as they got to know each other better and better.

It took Luka some time to get over his last heartbreak, and Felix’s presence in his life during this time helped him develop a healthy amount of selfishness to start caring about his needs as much as he cares about the needs and wants of the people around him.

On the other hand, Felix had to go through some character development too, learning to be less judgmental of people and more open and empathetic to their flaws.

Being constantly compared to Adrien by his family and everyone around him as he was growing up, Felix always strived to be impeccable in every area of his life and had little sympathy or tolerance for people’s vulnerabilities.

Even when it came to his own struggles, he always viewed them as something to be ashamed of and never knew exactly how to deal with certain emotions.

Luka, on the other hand, was raised in a chaotic environment (literally and figuratively) and was never taught how to be more strategic and rational when dealing with his feelings.

In his mind, feelings were a form of pure chaos, and he never even thought of sorting them out. His only way of dealing with them was by channeling them through music and seeking temporary relief, but never addressing the root of the problem by analyzing why he feels and what exactly those feelings are.

They anchor each other and share a surprising amount of similarities, both seeking freedom, serenity, and a purpose.

[homunculus-argument]

Hey i have a question

I see that you are Finnish probably? One of my mutuals has a question about a Finnish phrase that translated literally as "i will read you into a lake" or something similar, but I could not find mentions of this phrase online (they are looking for a particular post). Can you please tell me what it would be in Finnish? Google translate isnt of much help...

Could it perhaps have been "I will sing you into a swamp"? Laulan sinut suohon. Because that is a reference to old finnish folklore. Many old finnish spells, curses and blessings were written down as poetry, but were recited by singing instead of just speaking, in a handful of very specific song forms. Epic poetry and stories were usually also sung, making the tales easier to remember and recite.

While the collection process and end result of the epic poem Kalevala is Problematic™ in ways that I won't bother to go into (I will just get my ass chewed if I don't go out of my way to aknowledge that), the tale features a scene early on in the beginning, where the great wizard demigod Väinämöinen meets a youth named Joukahainen on a narrow road, and neither of them is willing to move out of the way so the other could go first.

It turns out that Joukahainen had been looking for Väinämöinen for some time in order to challenge him in a battle of powers, but he was already down to fight this old man before figuring out that this is actually the demigod he was looking for to begin with. They begin a battle through song-magic, in which Väinämöinen sings Joukahainen's horse into stone, and Joukahainen himself into a swamp.

While the story itself gets pretty grim pretty soon after that, I want to point out how comical this whole scene is, though it's never depicted that way. Imagine walking in on an epic wizard rap battle between an ancient demigod wizard who is literally older than the universe as we know it, and a 15-year-old boy. Ancient powers are commanded through song to reshape the foundations of the Earth over a traffic issue that could have been resolved in 5 seconds, but neither of them is willing to be the bigger person about this.

This conflict escalates to the point where people die over it.

[sparklingsora]

For the Vee-Swap AU, how does the Vee polycule develop? The polyvee shippers (me) need to know!!

HEHE OK OK SO putting it under cut bc it ended up longer than i anticipated LOL

as you already know, velvox is the established relationship in this au. and as i believe i mentioned before, velvette and val are sinstagram mutuals, it's how val finds out about the hotel. on val's part, falling for velvette isn't really a surprise to him - back when they just knew each other through social media, he already found her attractive, admired her work and they got along well, so all that turning into a full-on crush when he gets to know her better isn't very shocking. his relationship with vox is where it gets interesting, because it starts out rocky. i mentioned before that vox can tell that val's putting on an act. but because vox obv can't relate to val's situation, val just sees it as vox pitying him and refuses his help. a turning point comes in ep 4 - in the swap au, it actually starts raining during loser baby, which results in val getting sick. vox helps him out and they have a tender moment, maybe a little heart-to-heart (its hard to just describe, i will make a comic/ficlet of it at one point so you'll see :3). their relationship starts getting better from that point on, and soon enough val finds himself falling for vox. (it's funny, really - ep 4 in the swap au leads to the bettering of a grand total of 3 relationships: al & val's, vox & val's and indirectly al & vox's. load bearing episode LOL) on vox and velvette's part, well. val is a douche at the start of the story, much like canon!angel, but vox and velvette can both tell that there's a heart of gold in there somewhere. vox because of the aformentioned seeing through val's facade, and velvette because she, in fact, wasn't mutuals with val's official account, but with his art account, where he keeps his identity hidden. he shows his softer side a lot more on there, and so that's mainly the side of him that velvette knew (so now imagine the whiplash when she actually meets him in person and he's an obnoxious jerk LOL) (i dont know if valentino being an artist is actually canon - i read it on the fandom wiki and fandom wikis cant rly be trusted LOL but in any case if its not canon then its a neat hc that i incorporated into swap!val's character) but anyway yeah, vox and velvette both start falling for val as he slowly becomes more true to himself and starts showing that soft side more. eventually the two of them talk about it um. somewhere around ep 6 i think? maybe? somewhere between eps 6 and 7? something like that. anyway. there we get some juicy conflict - they agree that theyre both in love with val and wanna give the whole polyamory thing a try if he's up for it, but while velvette wants to confess as soon as possible (she's scared that one of them might die in the battle), vox wants to wait until after the battle, because the stress levels are high in the hotel right now, and he doesn't want val to feel pressured. during the last night before the battle, in a scene vaguely equivalent to more than anything (reprise), they make up, velvette admits that vox is right, and they decide to confess to val after the extermination. and then yeah they do that (it's one of the 2 things that i'm sure i want to happen at the beginning of season 2), val is like "HELL YEAH I WANNA BE IN A POLYCULE WITH YOU GUYS" and they're a polycule and its awesome :3

[edenfenixblogs]

I think that the user who made this post is lacking reading comprehension as to me it looks like Netanyahu is just saying that he wants security controls in place which if we go by the Wikipedia article for security controls, is just tighter security. The article in that post also doesn't include his full statement which adds context.

This article has his whole statement

what are your thoughts on this?

Idk what article or post you’re talking about.

I don’t like or trust Netanyahu. I do not believe anything he says. He’s Israel’s version of Trump. Idk what exactly he wants more control of but based solely on this post it seems like he’s offering to end the war by placing more security and checkpoints around Palestine.

My thoughts on that are that people not dying is better than people dying. But that’s too low a bar. Palestinians deserve better than just “not being under siege.” The steps must be in the direction of increasing freedom, not limiting it further.

This is what I’ve been talking about for months while people have been busy trying to compare me to a Nazi for saying I don’t want Jews to die or be expelled.

The only proper way to behave right now is to actively discuss what a future where both Israelis and Palestinians live together in peace should look like and then taking steps to ensure that future.

If we don’t do that, then Netanyahu will get his wish: tighter controls around Palestine, increased tension between Palestine and Israel, a guarantee that enough discontented Palestinians will look to organizations like Hamas for a solution to their oppression only to end up endangered between a terrorist organization and a hostile Likud-run government that stays in power by casting them as inherently vicious villains.

So, idk man. I can’t know for certain that I have any of this right. I’m just going off context clues cuz I refuse to look it up. Why do I refuse to look it up? Because I’d give myself an 85% chance of being right about what Netanyahu is proposing. Because he’s predictable and a bad person and a bad leader whose only goal is to weaponize both Jewish and Palestinian trauma to retain his own power.

This, even more than the personal attacks from antisemites, is what has bothered me most about western leftist “support” for Palestine during this most recent flair of the conflict. By focusing on attacking Jews around the world and stanning terrorist organizations and ignoring Jewish people and Israelis and even Muslims and Palestinians and Arabs who are and have been actively engaged in working towards peace and against Netanyahu for literal decades they have all but ensured that the most reasonable and informed voices have been effectively silenced. And you know who’s gonna fill that power vacuum? Netanyahu. Cuz it’s what he does.

And then the next time this happens, because it will, we will have to all live through this (or fault to live through it) again.

So, do I get a gold star friends? If I’m wrong I’ll delete this post. But man just the idea of Netanyahu proposing tighter security makes my blood boil. He knows what he’s doing. And it’s bad.

I hope I’m wrong. I hope I’ve misinterpreted something. And I will look it up further. But before I do, I genuinely want to know: is that asshole really that predictable? Did the entire western left literally just fall for his whole schtick and end up helping him to concentrate even more power? Did it work because it relied upon people hating Jews more than they trust Jews or love Palestinians? Cuz it feels like that’s what’s happening.

In the meantime, A Land for All is a solution worth actually discussing. Let’s all work toward that or another equally mutually beneficial solution to this conflict instead of helping Hamas gain adherents and helping Likud retain power:

https://www.alandforall.org/english/?d=ltr

[ethanesimp]

Tangled Hearts

Pairing: FWB! Ethan Torchio x Photographer! Fem Reader

Summary: As much as you want to deny it, you want to be more than friends with benefits with Ethan.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Kinda smutty but no actual smut, Ethan is a lil bit of an asshole in this, at least I think he is. There's also a lot of swearing, bc there is, and mentions of conflicts with parents.

Masterlists & Taglist

A/N: So uh... it's been a long while since I last wrote on here. Idk if people still read these but here you go! I missed writing dearly. It's also me just messing around, trying to get back into the writing habit again. Might add a part two if you guys like it cuz I've got some ideas. This is also inspired by a request I got a while ago, however it's like the events that happened before the request, if that makes sense.

═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══

A month left of the contract. That’s the very thought that has left a deep-seated sense of anxiety in your brain the more you let yourself think about it. For the past eleven months, you have been living the dream of traveling around the world with Måneskin and being their photographer. It was a job you would have never imagined having but one you are glad to have found.

It had been as much of a jump of faith for them to hire you with such little professional experience under your belt as it had been for you to accept the job. You left behind everything you knew for the opportunity to finally make a significant jump in your career that would make a difference in your future whether or not they renewed the contract for another year.

Then love made its way into the picture to mess everything up. Nothing could have prepared you for what you experienced during that first photoshoot alone with Ethan, the band’s drummer. The intimacy of the moment and the deep conversation shared as you set up your equipment was one that wouldn’t be forgotten easily, especially not when you got so close that it eventually led to the best night you had ever had while in Texas the night before a show.

Once the initial shock of what had happened wore off, you made a mutual agreement to keep it casual, despite the knowledge that whatever existed between you was anything but that. It worked nonetheless, for a long time, so you didn’t even bother questioning just how ephemeral it would be.

Your schedule, as well as the band’s, was full to the brim, leaving little to no time to think about your feelings with all the exciting things that had been going on around you. Until everything stopped and there were no shows or collabs to photographs.

Every single emotion pushed to the back of your mind has resurfaced as you sit alone in your bed for the first time in a while. It is the first night in a long time that you will be able to sleep in your bed instead of at a hotel or inside a cramped bunk on a bus. The whole thing takes you back to reality and helps you sober up from all the adrenaline quicker than you would have liked.

After such a long time away from your family, being back in your childhood room feels unreal. So does hearing your parents talk downstairs while you try to busy yourself editing pictured you’d taken at the last show. You want to take your mind off of all you have left behind and everything you would lose once your contract expired, which doesn’t happen as you look at the picture open in Photoshop. It is one of Vic spraying Damiano with the champagne she had opened to celebrate the end of the tour.

You smile to yourself as a bittersweet feelking makes its way into your heart. You know the band rarely keeps the same photographer around for more than a year and it has felt unfair to ask Ethan if you would be any different, if maybe they had grown to like you enough to keep you around for a little longer. So you just assume and accept that you will suffer the same fate as all the others before you.

The thought saddens you as you look up from your laptop and take a look around your room for the first time since you had arrived. On one of the walls hangs a picture of a college friend of yours you had taken for a photographic essay during your second semester. Close to it, you had placed one of your mother, which makes your heart ache as you look at it, knowing you would never be as close to her as you were when you took that picture.

Your parents have never been content with the idea of you being a photographer, especially not when both of them are engineers and have always envisioned a similar future for you. However, when you decided to go to college, they had been over the moon about it, despite you studying a photography-related degreee.

Sadly, all that happiness came crashing down when, during your fifth semester of college, none other than their manager reached out to you after finding your photography blog. He had gone on and on about how they needed a young and creative photographer in order to capture the band’s flare after their fame sky-rocketted.

You obviously accepted the job and put a pause on college for some time. Your parents had been against your decision and had stopped speaking to you for the first two months or so of you leaving. They eventually came around but things aren’t quite the same anymore. That is why you have found shelter in your room to avoid them and their hurtful comments they think they’re being more casual about.

You hate the situation you’re in much more than you’d like to admit, but what you hate above all else is feeling like an intruder in your own home when it used to be your safe place. You feel hot tears slide down your cheeks as you keep looking at that picture of your mother, asking yourself if the job is worth all this.

You haven’t even found an answer to the question when your phone buzzes. You pick it up from the bed and open the message, which happens to be from Ethan.

You hesitate while typing your next message. You want to tell him you miss him, but you fear it makes your feelings for him far too obvious. You’ve always wanted to be more than just his friend with benefits, but your fear ir far stronger than your desires. Still, without giving it more thought, you type out the two word message and send it through. Any worries fade away as you read his response.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

You shift your balance from your heels to your toes as you wait for Ethan to open the door. After you replied to his text, you didn’t waste a second to drive over to his house, completely ignoring your parents’ complaints.

When he opens the door, you feel a wave of relief wash over you at the sight of him. His dark eyes and easy smile do their usual trick and help you forget about everything else. Then, you feel your breath hitch when your eyes scan over his clothes.

Ethan is dressed in a loose-fitting white button-up shirt with the first few buttons undone, giving you a small glimpse of his toned chest. He pairs it with tight black slacks and polished black shoes. He looks absolutely stunning... as always, you think.

You meet his eyes after a few seconds of gawking at him and soon realize how absolutely fucked you are when you see his long hair is nicely gathered in a bun that sits at the nape of his neck, just how you like it.

That absolute fucker. You absolutely despise how attractive he looks, especially when your thoughts go straight to a few nights ago. You remember your hands tangled in his hair, completely ruining his bun. You remember pulling at it while his head was in between your legs, then while you were having sex. And now all you want to do is hide as you feel your cheeks heat up at the memories.

He lets out a hearty laugh, succesfully snapping you out of your little daydream.

“You’re staring.” Ethan says teasingly.

You roll your eyes at him, “You wish.”

He shakes his head and steps aside to let you in, “It’s nice to see you too, by the way.”

You let out a soft laugh, “We literally just saw each other yesterday.”

"Says the one who told me she missed me. Besides, it's always lovely to see you." He says, in such a relaxed and casual manner, as if it doesn't evoke any emotions within him, while it stirs up everything inside of you.

His place is small and tidy. There are books and plants here and there, scattered in random places all around the kitchen and living room, accompanied by the faint smell of vanilla coming from a lit candle.

Ethan catches you off-guard by wrapping his arms around you in a hug after closing the door behind you. Driven by instinct, your arms wrap themselves around him as you let your face rest on his shoulder for a few seconds.

You pull away enough to look him in the eye. He looks back at you with nothing but warmth in his eyes. Then he plants a gentle kiss on your lips that makes it so much harder for you to believe he has nothing but sexual feelings towards you. How could he kiss you with such gentleness if that were the case?

“I wanted to get out of there so fucking bad.” You mumble as an attempt to quiet down your thoughts.

Ethan gives you a knowing look. He’s the only person who knows everything you have sacrificed to follow your dream. He always tries to reassure you that you had made the right decision, but believing him never gets any easier. Especially not when the price you had to pay was so high.

“You’re always welcome here, dolcezza. Offer still stands if you want to stay until we’re back on the road.” He expresses. When Ethan had first brought the idea up, you had been so shocked to say anything. It’s still hard for you to understand how he is so casual about asking you to move in, yet turning into something other than fuck buddies is too much for him.

Rather than focusing much on your thoughts, you focus on observing him unscrew the cork on a bottle of wine that had previously been sitting inside the fridge.

“Being back here is so strange,” You say as he pours wine into a glass for you, “I didn’t spend a lot of time at home while I was at college either, so it kinda made me think I wouldn’t feel much different than how I did then...”

The words slowly die down in your throat, and your attention drifts away to the bright light over the kitchen counter.

“Hey, hey,” Ethan says gently as an attempt to get your attention. He leans forward to cup your cheeks, “All this you’re going through isn’t easy. I get it’s probably much more overwhelming when all this negativity is coming from your parents of all people.”

You place a hand over his and close the distance left between his lips and yours. The kiss is a comforting sign of understanding between you both, a silent way of saying that everything will be alright.

You tangle your hands in his hair to bring him closer to you, to feel more of his lips on yours. He smiles softly at your actions and reacts by brushing his tongue over your bottom lip, which you reciprocate almost right away.

This moment between the two of you feels like none you’d had before. You have grown familiar with messy quickies squeezed into every free space that could be found in your busy schedules. Unlike then, there is no recording session, interview, or show to stop you from taking your sweet time together.

Knowing he can, Ethan enjoys every kiss and touch with you, extending them as much as his body allows him to. He lets his hands slowly wander under your shirt as you break the kiss to catch a breath. His hands warm up your skin as they make their way up your waist and he lets out a soft chuckle upon noticing you were wearing nothing underneath your blue sweater.

“Something tells me you don’t just want to watch the movie.” He laughs as his lips trail down to your neck.

You laugh too, “I actually do, but this is pretty great too.”

He pulls away from you completely despite your protests and starts walking towards his room. You follow him with an eager smile on your face, happy to let him fuck away your worries.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .  ﾟ☆º:. ───

You’re still wrapped in a curtain of bliss after the intimate moment you’ve had. Between his soft pecks and warm hands you slowly let go of any sort of worries that had still been clinging to your body and mind. Instead, you let all of your attention fall on the words that easily fall from his lips like calm rivers.

“You’re beautiful, sweetheart.” He murmurs through parted lips before they keep on sucking on your exposed neck. You do nothing but hum in response, basking in the pleasure his attention brings along.

He can’t keep his hands and lips off you. You’re already so overstimulated that you cannot even think straight anymore as he draws shapes on your back. So it happens, in only a few seconds and with a phrase that anyone but Ethan would’ve been happy to hear, you lose it all. While he places kisses along your collarbones and gently massages your breast while his free hand holds yours, you mumble out words you won’t be able to take back, ever…

“I love you.”

At first, his dark eyes look into yours with surprise and a slight touch of happiness, words still processing in the very back of his mind. Then, any trace of gentleness and adoration that had been previously present, vanishes. You lose the warmth of his hands against your naked body when he stands up and puts a distance between you that feels infinite.

You see his face harden as he leans down to pick up his shirt from the floor, your heart falling to your stomach as you watch him get dressed. He avoids your eyes, which you suspect is much more painful than if he were looking at you.

That moment of silence seems to stretch out into what feels like an eternity. You don’t know what to say, and by the looks of it, your words have also rendered him speechless.

You feel the need to get up and try to reach out to him. To try and make up an excuse that explains why you said it, but your body doesn’t move. You just wait impatiently for him to speak first.

“Please get out.” Ethan says coldly, your heart shattering as you search for any trace of that warmth that used to be in his eyes just seconds ago. But his expression remains neutral and void of emotion. An  expression you have never seen before.

“Ethan, please,” Your eyes start getting watery as you plead. Your body finally responds and allows you to stand up and walk closer to him as you put your sweater back on. “Please, I’m sorry.”

There’s a part of you that feels pathetic at the sound of your wavering voice as you ask for forgiveness. An unmistakable desperation in your tone that you wish would disappear and a sharp pain in your heart that you want to ignore.

“I said get out.” You watch as his expression shifts into what you mistake as anger, but it’s nothing more than pure heartbreak.

“Please don’t, let’s talk about this. You can’t just kick me out before we do.” He’s still looking away from you, which makes you feel like your words are being dismissed by him.

“I can, and I will.” Ethan says firmly as he buttons his slacks.

“Come on, did our relationship mean nothing to you?” You say those words as a last attempt to bring him back to his senses. At first, you think it works because he’s finally looking back at you, but what he says next makes it clear that’s not the case.

“We are not in a relationship, we never were.”

“Fine, fuck this shit! I’m tired of just being someone you fuck whenever you’re bored anyway.” You see his whole expression soften at your harsh words. Ethan tries to reach out but you notice he debates on it before letting his hand fall back to his side.

Everything went to shit so quickly with those three little words. The friendship you have been building up for years has just been ruined in less than ten minutes and you have no idea what the fuck you’re supposed to do next.

“You know that’s not what this is! You’re so much more than that, you’re my best friend!” His voice is much gentler than it was, but you don’t notice it because of the anger that’s building up at his words.

“Well, you have a shitty way of showing it. Best friends don’t do whatever the fuck we do!” You turn your back to him and start collecting the rest of your clothes and car keys.

You feel his hand on your shoulder as you dress up, but you shrug it away, “Don’t. I’m listening to you and getting out of here.”

A part of you hopes he’ll go after you, but this is no romcom, so he doesn’t do anything to stop you and lets you leave.

[sepublic]

Thinking of how the first year of Ninjago is framed around the original conflict between two siblings who inherited a father's legacy of four Golden Weapons, fought over how to use said legacy, and it ended with one of them being trapped in the Underworld.

And then in the present day, we have two siblings who inherited their father's legacy, the Four Weapons shop, and one of them ends up trapped in the Underworld. Because of that original conflict between siblings, because of the sibling who was also trapped in the Underworld, and inhabits that same realm with her; Even as the other sibling is scouted by the original victor, and recruited.

Ggooodddddd imagine an AU where Garmadon and Nya actually interact while in the Underworld, where these parallels are explored! And the mixed feelings that Wu and Garm have seeing these two other siblings, who still get along and aren't at each other's throats. Wu feeling resolve to help Kai get his sister back too, because he doesn't want Kai to lose a sibling under any circumstances as he did, all while Garmadon tries to pull Nya to his side by feeding into any frustrations she might have towards Kai and Ray.

On a similar note, I get why Day of the Departed lumped Kai and Nya together when fighting Chen; They share a mutual connection towards Chen knowing what happened to Ray and Maya, who are THEIR parents, plus this transitions into the siblings as the mutual stars of the next season. And I think the way the villains were paired with the heroes mostly made sense, with the exception of Jay and Samukai, which the writing itself admits was because they were left over.

But MAN I think it'd have been cool to have Nya paired up with Samukai instead, given him kidnapping her is what starts off the entire series; Nya was trapped in the Underworld for all of 2011's storyline, so it makes you wonder what interactions she might've had with the Skulkin during that time. While non-canon, Lego Battles: Ninjago does show Nya being interrogated by Samukai and his lieutenants Kruncha and Nuckal. It'd have been a cool character moment to have Samukai go after Nya, reasoning he already kidnapped this 'helpless girl' once, only for Nya to show she's grown beyond anything he could imagine since then.

Of course, this again leaves the question of Jay... Who if we're being honest, DOES have a villain prior to Day of the Departed that he actually pairs decently with: Nadakhan, but alas Nadakhan's whole beef with him has been retconned out of existence. Still, it makes me imagine another timeline or AU where Nadakhan still shows up despite being alive, the way Pythor did; Like through some convoluted antics, the Teapot of Tyrahn is opened up and Yang wishes for idk for Nadakhan to fight Jay or something. Due to Nadakhan not having the Sword of Souls and Jay knowing his opponent well (while Nadakhan himself doesn’t, not remembering what happened), it gives him just the edge he needs to defeat Nadakhan before he can really become a threat.

If two ninja need to be paired together, maybe it can be Jay and Nya both against Samukai; Though, it makes more sense for Nya to be with Kai when everything goes wrong, because they're mourning their parents together and all that. Maybe Nya's on her way from Jay's to meet up with Kai for their Day of the Departed rituals, only for Samukai to show up.

[heliza24]

I just stumbled onto your page and I love reading your insights and analysis of Young Royals. I’d like to hear your take on this if you don’t mind ofc.

When Simon tried to tell Marcus that he was not ready for a relationship, Marcus ignored him and said that they could take things slow with no stress and that he can wait. And when you wait for someone, there are two outcomes, either they’ll get together or they won’t. And in this situation where Simon said that he’ll never be ready, it was obviously not going to happen. They never had a mutual discussion about them being exclusive (boyfriends) and Simon made no promises to Marcus. So what was Marcus expecting?

My question is why was Marcus pissed at Simon in the end? Marcus was the one who said that he could wait for someone who would never be ready. Ig the only thing that Marcus can be angry about is Simon using him at the ball. But he barely talked about it and instead insults Simon with assumptions about who Simon is even though Marcus knows nothing about him.

Thanks anon! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my analysis!

So I’ve already written a bit about the breakup scene. I think Marcus is exhibiting some subtle classism and racism in his reaction to the breakup, and I also think Marcus is operating on a very heteronormative relationship timeline which impacts how annoyed he gets with Simon.

But I thought your question might be a good excuse to talk about character and scene writing in a more technical way, since people still have questions about Marcus’s motivations.  I am a playwright and I like thinking and talking about this stuff a lot.

So, when we design a character in playwriting and screenwriting, we always think about their goals. These are big desires that help motivate a character over the course of the whole script. (Or in this case, season of television).  But in any specific scene, a character isn’t usually thinking about their big, defining goal. They’re dealing with the small piece of that desire that is right in front of them. Usually they’re interacting with another character, and they want something from that other character that is going to get them closer to their big goal. That little want is their objective, and the way they go about getting it drives the scene. A character usually doesn’t try just one method for reaching their objective; they’ll try different techniques, rephrase their words, etc. All of those methods are called actions.

(By the way, when people say that scripts require conflict to work, this is what they mean. Characters always have objectives and want something from each other. It doesn’t mean they have to be fighting; their objective could be to make friends. But that exchange is necessary to make a scene work).

This is pretty abstract, so let’s do a silly example to make things clearer. Meet John, my made-up character. John’s overarching goal is to have a closer relationship with his dad, who is a chef. In the scene I’m writing, John wants his dad to try the brownies he just baked because he thinks they will impress his dad. That’s his objective. He might try different actions to get that to happen. First he might set up a fan so the delicious smell wafts over to his dad. He might eat one in front of his dad and remark upon how delicious they are. If neither of those things work, he might resort to begging his dad directly to just try one!

But what if John’s dad still refuses to try his brownies? He’s probably not going to keep trying. After a certain point, trying more and more actions against an unresponsive scene partner feels unrealistic. So John’s objective might change. He might say to his dad: “Mom will eat these and tell me how great they. She’s a better parent than you.” Boom. New objective: make Dad jealous. It still connects to John’s overarching goal. If Dad gets jealous of John’s connection with Mom, he might invest more in his own relationship with John. It’s not a smart or emotionally healthy or reasonable tactic! But you can see how someone who is upset might resort to it.

Scenes can be broken down into smaller units called beats. A new beat starts whenever a character switches to a new action (so using the fan, remarking upon the brownies, and begging would all be distinct beats). Switching to a new objective would also create a new beat. You can think of a beat as the smallest unit of dramatic writing.

 (This is not to be confused with the stage direction “he takes a beat” which is sometimes just used interchangeably with “he pauses before speaking”. Confusing but true).

Thank you for hanging with me through that extremely goofy example I just made up.  Now let’s use these concepts and see if they can help us understand Marcus as a character and the way that his relationship with Simon unfolds.

I would say that Marcus’s goal across season 2 of YR is to make Simon his boyfriend.  Marcus is a pretty minor character, all things considered, so I don’t think his goal needs to be very complex. (If we were talking about Wilhelm or Simon’s goal in the season, it would probably be a lot harder to summarize so succinctly.)

We don’t know a ton about Marcus’s backstory, but we know a few things that might point to character motivation that would make this goal make sense. He’s an older kid, with his own apartment and car. He’s at the point in his life where he might really want a partner to fit in with this grownup conception of himself. And he likes Simon!

So how does he accomplish his goal? In early scenes his objective is to get Simon to like him. He offers to drive him to campus, he asks him to karaoke, he invites him over. Those are all pretty simple actions. And they are at least partially successful! Simon agrees to go out with him.

In that first awkward hookup scene, his and Simon’s objectives are in conflict. Simon is there to hookup and forget his problems. Marcus is there to make Simon his very serious, very committed boyfriend, which to him means no sex yet. So it makes sense that Simon makes a move and that Marcus shuts him down. Those conflicting actions are a good example of how conflict drives a scene forward.

Ok, now let’s look at the scene in 2.3 where Simon first tries to break up with Marcus. Now Marcus’ objective has changed a little bit. Instead of trying to create the relationship with Simon, he’s trying to prevent Simon from ending it. (Simon’s objective in this scene is to breakup with Marcus). There are a few different beats in this scene where Marcus tries different actions to get Simon to stay. First, he offers Simon time. He’ll wait until Simon is ready. When Simon says that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready, then Marcus compares himself to Wilhelm. He tries to make himself seem a safer and better person than Wilhelm (“I won’t hurt you like he did”). When Simon acknowledges his goodness (“I think you’re like, perfect”) but that doesn’t change his mind, Marcus brings up Simon’s family. Marcus asserts that Simon must not recognize how lucky he is to be dating Marcus because Simon’s parents didn’t model a healthy relationship. Marcus ends up “winning�� this scene; after those three beats Simon agrees to keep dating him.

Now we’re at the final breakup scene in 2.6. Things have really changed when this scene opens. Marcus already knows that he has failed at his goal. Simon hasn’t been talking to him, and he knows that he hooked up with Wilhelm in some capacity. So Marcus goes through a pretty dramatic shift here. Instead of trying to win over Simon, I think his main goal is now to try to preserve his own feelings. That’s pretty relatable if you’ve ever been broken up with. You’re just trying to get out of there with your heart as intact as possible. A great way to do this is to make it very clear that the breakup was not your fault. That way you don’t have to accept any blame or feel guilty. I would say that this is Marcus’s objective in this scene: make it very clear that the breakup is Simon’s fault, not his. The first action that he tries to accomplish this is to blame Wilhelm. Marcus is a great guy, but how was he supposed to compete with a prince, especially when Simon is clearly just starstruck by Wilhelm’s status? (This is not true of Simon, I would say, but remember that we’re just in Marcus’s head trying to think of ways to deflect blame right now). Here's where the scene shifts in a really interesting way. Instead of just accepting this, Simon pushes back with a new action of his own. He directly points out the ways that Marcus is at fault for their breakup: Marcus didn’t listen to Simon when he said he didn’t want a serious relationship. That’s a new beat in the scene, and I can almost physically see Simon lob the blame back over the fence onto Marcus (good for him tbh). So now Marcus is on the back foot. He’s about to totally fail to reach his objective in this scene. No more Mr. Nice Guy, time to play dirty. So he reaches for the most effective action he can think of, insulting Simon directly.  More specifically, he accuses Simon of the thing that he himself is doing: deflecting blame. He even says to Simon “everything just happens, and it’s never your fault”. Simon plays the victim, he’s turned on by drama, so this breakup MUST be Simon’s fault. And then he tells Simon to get lost, effectively ending the scene on that final, very strong action. He makes sure he gets the last word.

I hope that helps explain why Marcus reacts so angrily, even if his anger doesn’t seem reasonable to an outside, neutral observer. Everything Marcus does is motivated by his larger goal. Every action he takes, even the ways in which he insults Simon, are tactics he uses to try to meet his objectives in each scene. If you’re living inside of Marcus’s head, all of those steps make perfect sense.

This is a good technique to use in general when you’re trying to understand and evaluate a dramatic text (Play, movie, tv show, etc). Does each character have a goal? Does each scene have distinct objectives for all of its characters? Do the actions they take align with those objectives? Asking these questions will help you understand characters but also help you evaluate the overall strength of the writing. Obviously I think Young Royals does a great job with this generally, and I had a good time breaking down Marcus into his component parts so to speak.

Thanks for the ask!

[fraudulent-cheese]

So i watched episodes 3 to 8 of Pahkitew Island

Again, watched these with my buddy @rockin-it-rusty! And, holy shit these episodes have got me genuinly wondering why Pahkitew's so hated.

I'll go over the negatives first; the challenges are kinda eh. The Truth or Scare one is great, and the cave one is interesting due to it's hints at the Fake Island reveal (as heavy handed as they were), but most of these were just pretty out there to me? They mostly felt like an excuse to put the characters in situations mostly. Just have Topher make a narration joke, give Max and Scarlett an interaction, have Sky and Dave dance around eachother all due to a thing the challenge made them do. I don't mind the first two much, but the last one gets super repetitive man. Glad they mixed it up a bit by making Shawn try to wingman Dave though, i like their friendship! im a bigger dashawn shipper now oops

ANYWAYS IMA TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOW BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, THE CHARACTERS CARRY THE SHOW!

Amy... Ok im very mixed on her. On one hand, she serves her role as the mean twin relatively well. But on the other, that's all she really is! Her one trait is being mean and hating her sister, and that's all she really does! Granted she has a thing? Where she gets sayings (?) wrong, or just gets words wrong (she says parfait is german. it's french. i would know) which! could hint at something! (maybe less smart than her sister?) but they don't do shit with her outside of her swimming back to the island in episode 5. god i wanna rewrite this season so badly now to give her a bigger role. idk shoutouts to Twinning with a Twist for redeeming her while still giving her some edge ig.

Rodney. i uh

I haven't thought about him since his elimination honestly. I just doooooon't care about him it's crazy. Most forgettable guy in the entire series.

Sammy! Ok back to the siblings rambles! I wish the show leaned into her scheming more. Girl in five episodes pulled identity theft and did nothing else. Why. Her relationship with Jasmine is adorable, and i wish she got Jasmine to call her by her actual name, and a personality too! It's really a shame man :(

Sidenote, but like her team fucking hated her for some reason??? Like what. I know it's because of that one scene, but really?

Ella!! My sweet girl Ella!!! She didn't do anything wrong man she just likes singing leave her alone!!! Chris really fucking hates her and it's pretty entertaining at least, but i'd say his beef with Topher's funnier. She has a nice singing voice, and i love how passionate she is about fairytales and stuff. You could do so much with the Prince thing and the show... didn't. Like what even was that. Conflict that wasn't one that lasts an episode. what

Gotta say though, her elimination was fucking ass, Max 100% should've been kicked instead of her.

Topher. Ah the opher. He's a special case, even in the context of Pahkitew Island itself! Because the dude's not here for the game. He's here to meet his idol, Chris Mclean (he really knows how to pick em, huh). I like the progression he's got, from wanting his approval to straight up wanting to host the game instead of him. I'll admit, my opinion's a little skewed since i am mutuals with the Topher guy on Tumblr, but i like him regardless!

His relationship with Chris is easily one of the more interesting parts of the season, mostly because a 30-something year old dude having beef with a teenage fan is hilarious, and you could definitely spin it in a sad way from Topher's perspective.

It also helps that he's genuinely funny! His few interactions with the other campers are also pretty fun, he dgaf about them it's great.

Im kind of mixed on Dave, i'll be real. On one hand, im glad they ditched the whole "he doesn't like anyone on this Island" trait three episodes in because that would've gotten. SO ANNOYING. SO FAST. (hell i'd argue it was already annoying), and him being a hopeless romantic could be a fun trait, if done right. It also helps that he's really pathetic and i find that funny. His friendship with Shawn's fun too!

But on the other hand... Yeah, even before the finale the Skave plotline's really boringgg. They just dance around eachother for half the season for like! No reason! Please just have a conversation, even if it takes other people to sit them down to have it! I know why they didn't because the finale needed them to not actually talk about it but at least have Sky tell him she'll explain later or have him not be a coward and ask her about it himself!!! ack!!

Also the thing with him and Ella went literally nowhere. I have 0 feelings about it because it's just there for some reason. Idk they just really wanted to shoehorn in romance for every girl this season huh.

Scarlett's a really underutilized character pre-Island reveal. The bulk of her interactions with the other campers are with Max, who has a ton of screentime for some reason (which i don't personally really mind but i'll explain later) which honestly sucks because she's a fun character! I want to compare her to Twilight Sparkle at the very start of MLP. She's smart, she knows it, she can communicate with her teammates just fine and just chooses not to usually. I like her alot! Im just... really disapointed that she's so in the background usually; if anyone's a wasted character in tdpi, outside of the Twins i'd say it's her.

Her legit wanting to kill Max is great though. That's how i'd react to him irl. Don't get the Max saying she had a crush on him three episodes in, or the quip Chris made during the team switching tho.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, MAX! I swear, i was convinced i'd find this guy annoying pre-watch but uh... I like this guy! No really, i do! He's like Mal, only the narrative doesn't take him seriously in the slightest and it's hilarious to watch! Im like Sugar in that one clip, i am laughing at this buffoon's intelligence, and his stupid catchphrase, and his "evil" plans, and his general delivery! Max is funny!

Even when the Scarlett "minion" thing kicked in i still found him funny! Don't get me wrong, i wish he'd gotten out earlier (ESPECIALLY when he was supposed to get kicked in the episode Ella got eliminated into) or just gotten less screentime in general, but in the season proper, yeah he's a funny guy! Big gimmick, but i like him! Please don't add nuance to him, i don't care

Jasmine... certaintly exists! I'd call her the Season's rock, the one character that's emotionally intelligent on the show. She's fun in general, and also the only one noticing things going wrong with the robotic island. As said before, her relationship with Sammy is great to see, and i wished we'd see more of her and Sky's friendship and uh. For there to be more between her and Shawn? Because the only things i've retained is that they blushed at eachother once and then trust issues party because he hit her once during a challenge and that completely broke her trust in him - which, could be an interesting aspect of her character to explore since if that's all it took for her to pull a 180 on Shawn, the girl must have a complicated relationship with trust. That's an interesting flaw! It also shows up with her rapport in Sky in the later episodes of this batch, and. GOD. I wish it was developped man!

The issue? Yeah it's dragged on so longggg man! It's frustating to watch frankly because i really wish they'd resolve this conflict quicker since it's like. The same thing every episode :( to my knowledge it's solved in episode 9, but it did NOT need to be dragged out for 4 episodes.

Unrelated to her charater, but her height difference with the other campers is kind of ridiculous. In some shots the characters look so small compared to her it's crazyyy

Ok, now. Sugar. I'll be honest? She's great! She's just a menace and doing her own thing and it's fun to watch! She's also interesting in terms of backstory since she's canonically a pageant queen; her relationship with Ella is greatly impacted by this, since she heavily suspects her of lying to her face when it's just. Ella being Ella. Similar thing to her opinion on Topher; she doesn't like him for his sucking up to Chris, the host (something that Rusty probably agrees with). I fucking wish she was more popular because then people would look into her more, but alas. She's a female, plus sized character in Pahkitew Island, so considering the Fandom's biases, it was never going to happen. U_U

OK TIME FOR ZOMBIE BOY. So, Shawn. He's definitely more present in these episodes than he was before, and, again, i think he's fun! He's a weird little guy. He's got interesting skills (his camouflage, legit parkour, general athleticism) and his personality's interesting as well compared to the other guys. The zombie thing is fine, actually, because they do different things with it over the course of these episodes. Not much to say about him, he's a solid character to me and i wish he had more interactions with the cast outside of Dave and his pining for Jasmine. Who he's talked to like, five times at this point? Again, they probably should've talked stuff out faster than this for me to actually enjoy it. Oh well.

And finally, Sky. She's an interesting case for me? She's fine, mostly. She's the Normal Person™️ of the cast to me, and that means she really struggles to grab me. It's made worse by her main plot being a basic romance plot where the gimmick is that she's a reasonable human being and Dave isn't. And neither are able to have a normal fucking conversation about it either. The mixed signals thing could've been interesting, but this is Fresh TV writters, so of course it didn't end up that way. I assume the episodes without Dave are the ones where her personality shines more? Because so far she's just been really reserved and calm. And said she'd "focus on the competition only" And then. Doesn't. Really. God i wish this season treated it's female characters better :(

OK SO OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Im mixed on alot of the character decisions

god i wished these people talked more

the screentime is not well split among the cast

the romance plots and pacing of the Island plot are the weakest parts of this season

the challenges are fine

Why does Chef have 5 lines total.

Pahkitew Island does NOT deserve the overly negative rep it gets in this Fandom, at least based on the first 8 episodes.

[raparopa]

a/n: @mischiefmanaged71 @crazyhorseforgot

warnings: Language, Squaller!OC

pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x OC!Dasha Romanov

summary: There is clearly an understatement between Nikolai and his childhood friend. But who knew that things could get even worse when the sun shines on the horizon?

gold and silver

part one. about meetings

I looked at the stars. Silver jewels scattered over the blue velvet of the night sky - this was the sky above the sea, in which I spent almost all my time. And yet, accepting Nikolai's invitation was one of the best decisions of my life.

I have found a new family. Tolya and Tamar turned out to be some of the most incredible people I have ever met. Such a connection was for me...not new... The fact is that I myself experience such a connection, the only thing I do not know for one hundred percent is whether it is mutual.

During the time spent side by side on the ship, next to Sturmhond, I realized that I love Nikolai. And every day this feeling only intensified. I looked at him and tried to figure out if his feelings were similar to mine, or if Nikolai was acting like a little stinging fox as usual. But there was something in his actions, looks, words that made me suspect that we had a good chance.

We became much closer than in our youth, we were two parts of one whole, we were those who cannot live without each other. We never said anything that could indicate our feelings for each other. I don't know if it was necessary at this time? I did not want to destroy that wonderful peace between me and Nikolai, which we have been building and restoring for many years, and now we support it.

Each time, Tamar said with a cheerful smile how Nikolai's heart was beating, as soon as he thought of me. But how was I to know if she was joking or not? You can't tell these twins.

A cool sea breeze blew into my face. I smiled, twisting it with my fingers into a small whirlwind and letting it float through the water. But from the other side of the ship there were conversations. And several voices were clearly unfamiliar to me. I frowned and pushed off the deck with my hands, striding confidently there to understand what was happening. I don’t know what was going on, but my gut told me that something was going on that I obviously didn’t like. Because of this, the wind increased, rose, crashing into the sails.

I went to the other side of the deck and saw Tolya, Tamar and two strangers at the gangway. One of them was a tall, strong guy, next to him was a short girl with long, black hair. They talked about something very tensely.

-What's going on?-I shouted to be heard. All pairs of eyes immediately stared at me and at my menacing face.

-Dasha!- Tolya greeted joyfully, waving his hand to me. -We have unexpected passengers here,-he pointed to a couple of strangers.

-Yes, they want to charter our ship,- Tamar continued, showing me a gold hairpin that sparkled in the moonlight. -We need to take them to the captain. How is he? In what mood? - She smiled strangely at me.

I was embarrassed, but did not show it, only raising my eyebrows.

-As usual, in good health,-I said, folding my arms over my chest and carefully looking at the strangers. -Good, -I nodded. -Tolya?

He nodded to me.

-Take them to the captain.

It seemed to me that the issue was resolved, but then soldiers of the First Army appeared from the darkness.

-You! Stop!- the old man in military uniform croaked.

- Do you want a fight? Huh?-Tamar said menacingly, pulling out her axe.

-This man is a deserter, he must be with us!- the old man continued.

-Is that so?- Tamar continued caustically. I rolled my eyes, rubbing the bridge of my nose. -They want a fight!- she roared, causing everyone who was carrying bags on deck to grab their weapons.

-Oh, Saints, help me...- I said to myself, mentally dreaming how I would conduct a conversation with them, and how I would ask Nikolai to give them a couple of diplomacy lessons.

-I don't want to aggravate the conflict with Shu Han...

It was a mistake. Mistake old man in uniform. Tolya took up the sword.

-We are not Shu Han,-Yul-Bataar said, approaching his sister. -We are on our own.

-Save your bullets for the war, and tell your soldiers to know their place.- I barked belligerently, stepping onto the gangplank. I was rather tired of this situation, and I wanted to exhale as soon as possible and calmly sail away. Both my words and my old caftan, with which I did not dare to part after the Second Army, were clearly a weighty argument. Ravka's soldiers retreated.

Strangers boarded.

They looked rumpled, but they were very smart. I slowly examined them from head to toe, trying to isolate at least something that could help me find out more information about them, but I did not find anything strange or unusual.

-We’ll go to the captain,- I said slowly and low, when Tolya and Tamar appeared behind me. - He will give his final verdict.

The guy jerked his shoulder in annoyance, glaring at me angrily, but I didn't care.

-Let's go. -I passed by, heading straight into the hall to Nikolai.

I physically felt the tension that was in the air. No one dared to utter a word, I think the twins and I looked menacing, so the strangers were silent.

Nobody ever tried to charter our ship, it was the first time, but it was...interesting.

We approached the doors when Tolya opened them.

-Captain,- he turned to Nikolai, going inside. -They want to charter our ship.

- And immediately. - Some unprecedented courage suddenly woke up in the boy. We were also in the room.

-We need to sail now!- the girl also flushed, stubbornly following her companion.

Nikolai chuckled.

-Let's get two things straight,- he braced his hands on the table. -I'm not given orders on my own ship.- His face immediately became tense.

It was always amazing how he switched from one state to another so quickly.

- And we're already sailing. Glad you joined. And now, maybe add some light to the cabin, - I frowned, not understanding what he was talking about. - Since you, Alina Starkov. Saint on twenty million kruge.

These words hung in the air like a thick fog. My face stretched in surprise, I felt something rising in my stomach. That was the last thing I expected to hear tonight, I would have been prepared for anything but this. I looked first at Alina, then at her companion, and in the end my eyes fixed on Nikolai, as if demanding an answer from him.

How did he know? How does he know the price for this girl? Why didn't he say anything to me... That is, to us.

Lantsov quickly shot his eyes in my direction, and again turned to the newcomers. He pulled a revolver out of its holster and placed it meaningfully on the table.

-Alive or dead.- His voice became low and almost menacing as she looked at Alina.

What the hell...

-It’s silly to play up, Starkov, you are a Sun Summoner,-Nikolai continued.

In surprise, I even had to lean my hand against the wall as thoughts raced feverishly through my aching head. I looked at Tolya, but judging by his expression, he was also, to put it mildly, shocked. We both stood with him, behind Alina Starkov's back, like fools, the only ones who didn't understand what the hell was going on.

-Yes, you are right,- Alina threw belligerently, throwing up her hands, from which light immediately escaped.

Nikolai whistled.

-Not bad,- he shook his head, with a meaningful smile. - I'm hard to impress.

But Sun Summoner clearly did not share Nikolai's fun.

-Let us go,- she hissed, -Or lose twenty million kruge and the ship. Her threats looked a little funny. No matter how saintly Alina was, she did not seem to me an experienced fighter, rather a chaotic bundle of energy.

The light burned in Alina's hands, like a real, living flame of light. I myself did not understand how I took a step forward, how my fingers froze in signs that they could summon a hurricane. But I was gently pulled by the shoulder.

-Don’t, Dasha,- Tolya whispered to me. -Don’t jump to conclusions, Romanov. We can always get into a fight. Where is your diplomacy?

I glared at him, reluctantly admitting that he was right.

-Let you,- Nikolai got up from his chair at the table. -You can sentence us to death in the sea desert,- he went to the table, pouring some amber alcohol into a crystal glass. - Please note that we are already far from the shore. Besides, I won't hand you over to the Fjordans.

-Really? -Alina immediately stopped releasing light from her palms.

-Yes, Saints forbid,- Nikolai simply threw, realizing in a moment that he had blurted out. -Or is it indecent to say this in front of a living saint?- He turned to me in a rhetorical question. I tilted my head, pursing my lips.

They continued talking, but the words slipped past me. The only thing I heard was Nikolai's cute tone when he spoke to Alina. I still tried furiously to grab at least one word of their conversation, but I couldn't. For some reason, I felt betrayed. Did Nikolai not trust me so much that he could not devote to his ingenious plan to "capture" the Sun Summoner? Am I not the kind of person he can share everything with? He knows that I will always be by his side.

I looked at Nicholai. I felt offended. I felt selfish. Why was my chest so empty? Why, as soon as Alina Starkov stepped on board, did it hurt so much?

Maybe I did something wrong, since Nikolai no longer trusts me? Did I say something that made him doubt me?

Someone touched my shoulder, and only then did I wake up.

Tolya looked at me with regret, nodding in the direction of the exit. Of course, damn it, he heard my heart. I quickly gathered myself together, gave him a forced smile and nodded, following him and our "guests" to show them their sleeping quarters.

-No, no, no,- we were all immediately interrupted by the voice of Nikolai. We turned to look at him at once. - You, - he pointed to me. - Dasha, stay for a minute. -he asked, trying not to smile.

Tolya smiled slyly at me and led the passengers out of the cabin. I carefully closed the door, turning to look at him.

- Nikolai. - I said evenly, straightening my back, and folding my hands behind my back, raising my eyes with an effort to look at him...

He finally allowed himself a wide smile as he walked up to me, taking my hand and leading me forward through the cabin.

- Nikolai, if you want to talk, then speak. - Sharper than you wanted, I said.

-What's the matter?- he asked softly, his blue eyes sparkling charmingly, the way he always did when he wanted to get something.

I exhaled heavily, disengaging from his grip and rubbing my wrists.

This gesture obviously did not please him. He stopped smiling.

- Dasha, what happened? Any problems?

I looked at him from under my brows.

-Well,- I began hard. -Tell me, Nikolai, do you trust me?- I decided to come from afar.

He opened his eyes in surprise.

-Of course I trust you. More than anyone, you know it доро��ая. Ever since you didn't tell your nanny my name as a kid when she asked about the stolen cakes. -he said, grabbing my hand again. Those words made me smile faintly.

-Remember that?- he chuckled. -I remember well how you…

-...Saved your ass for the first time? Yes, such things are not forgotten, Nikolai. - I continued for him, forcing the prince to roll his eyes jokingly. -But... It's different. Why didn't you tell me about Alina Starkov? - I finally asked. -Do you think, - I swallowed a lump in my throat from the weight of my own words. - Do you think that I cannot help you? It was possible to devote, at least in general, to your incredible plan. - I turned up my nose.

Nicholai sighed softly.

-Everything had to be as natural as possible. No one should have suspected anything, Alina Starkov in particular. No, of course, I don’t doubt your acting skills, Romanov, but I already walked on the edge of a knife.- He said as his hands let go of my palms, gently wrapping around my waist. - I didn't know it would hurt you so much. I didn't think about your feelings, my mistake.

He shook her head. - Excuse me. - He looked into my eyes, and some mischievous sparks sparkled in his eyes. - Can you forgive me?- he smiled.

I closed my eyes.

-Promise to continue to share such things with me, Nikolai.- I asked quietly, blowing off the hair that had fallen on my face.

-I promise if you let me offer you a worthy apology. -He ran his fingers along my cheek.

Saints. Are my assumptions correct? Could it be that the connection I felt was shared by Nikolai?

-Watching what you mean? -Oh, dear Nikolai, don't think that I'll give you up so easily. - Everyone can say big words.

If I don't drive you crazy, Nikolai Lantsov, no one can do it.

[karimwillia]

Untitled

*AU Comic Earth. Riri is actually out of school by 20 so 21 is a major birthday for her. She is head of Stark Industries having moved the headquarters to Chicago. Shuri holds the mantle of Black Panther and serves as co sovereign. Queen Romanda is alive but in a coma even with their country’s technology has yet to be broken. M’Baku and Shuri were installed as co rulers of Wakanda soon after. He handles most of the domestic conflict, while Shuri handles all international conflict.

Warnings: Suggestive

“Panther the itinerary for your excursion to Las Vegas Nevada is as follows. One Encore Two Bedroom Apartment and Three Encore Panoramic View hotel rooms at Wynn Las Vegas confirmed, Three Delta Airlines First Class flight tickets confirmed, Luxury Private Jet air travel via Fly XO confirmed, all restaurant reservations and entertainment tickets are available to you with 4 hours notice. Is there anything more Panther?” “Please call Princess Robin on speaker.”

Shuri and Riri have grown so close in the past few years since meeting. The spunky 19 year old bad ass went home and completed her degree at MIT in less than 18 months after the Telokan conflict. She says it was because she was bored. Shuri is convinced she did it so she could be Ironma… IronHeart full time. Riri blames Shuri because she is the one who made her an associate researcher at the Wakandan Outreach Center in Cambridge so she had the means to do more. There she secretly built a new suit and did a whole host of other research that was way more exciting then college. Shuri even consulted on the creation of a synthetic metal with similar properties to Vibranium to make the suit from. As a matter of fact Shuri consulted so heavily on the project at one point she was in Cambridge every weekend. This was despite her becoming Queen. Shuri had all that free time because she is co ruler with M’Baku.

Once completed Riri moved home to Chicago and started helping to combat local crime in her suit. She is also called out to help the Black Panther frequently in Wakanda. Pepper Pots of Stark Industries noticed and hired Riri on the spot to run the Engineering and Design departments at Stark Tech. Shuri’s gift to Riri on the accomplishment was an apartment building which holds a beautiful condo. Top of line laboratory and workshop plus area for her work as Ironheart. Her generosity is unmatched sometimes. To thank her Riri is always so affectionate. When they are together they hold hands, cuddle, and hug A LOT. They have pet names and flirt constantly but maintain they are ONLY friends.

“Hey Kitten what are you doing Baby?” Riri’s voice is rich and vibrant on the phone. “Nkosazana! What did I tell you about that name?” “I may have heard you say you don’t like it. But I do and you let me do anything I want.” Shuri shakes her head. The playful, almost whiny tone is so sexy to her. “Mamela kum Entle. Just because I allow you to do what you want. I just ask one thing, don’t call me Kitten.” Riri huffs into the phone. “Fine, no more Kitten. Only because you spoke to me in Xhosa and you know how I get when you do that Daddy.” Shuri huffs in return with a small chuckle.

“One can only imagine. But I did not call to have phone sex today. I want to confirm you have cleared your schedule. You will not take any meetings or calls from work during your Birthday.” Riri bites her lip as she thumbs through some paperwork. “Yes I have two full weeks clear. Finally turning 21. I hope that means we can stop these games.”

“I am not playing any games, Nkosazana. You are my wife, you know that.” Riri and Shuri agreed long ago that their interest in each other is mutual. They just find it complicated to solidify a status so they don’t. Despite Riri wanting to.

“Panther Midnight Angel Okoye is approaching.” Shuri pays no attention to Griot’s announcement. So the former Dora stands back realizing she is not noticed. “I am your wife now huh? As much as I want that. I need you to do other things for me first before I marry you.” “When the time is right I will do anything you want me to do.”

Okoye can’t stand anymore of the sexual tension and clears her throat. “Panther. What might those things be?” Riri hears the comment and changes her tone. “Oooh Baby I have to finalize this design before it goes off to prototype. Call me later. Love You. Bye Okoye.”

Riri hangs up so quickly Shuri cannot comment. “I-'' Okoye holds up her hand and shakes her head. “No Usisi omncinci you and her need to…figure…that…out. You have her waiting on you for what reason?” Shuri places her face in her hands. “No reason other than fear.” “Fear of what Shuri? Didn’t she tell you that when you are ready she is yours?” Shuri speaks from her hands. “Yes, that is what I was told. I just don’t know if I can handle the stress.” Okoye is frustrated but is tender. “That is an excuse, Shuri. You are keeping her at arm's length like you have been doing everyone.”

After losing T’Challa and Baba, Shuri is very closed off, has mood swings and suffers nightmares from time to time. This makes her stress every interaction she has keeping people at a distance. Queen Mother being in this catatonic state since Namor’s attack adds to her anxiety. Everyone has begged her to seek some help to unpack the grief and trauma. She says she is fine but obviously not. Riri is being patient with her which she is grateful for but…how long is Riri supposed to wait?

“Shuri?” Okoye’s tone softens more because she wants to get the message through. Everyone sees how happy she is with Riri but the keeping this last wall up is a direct result of her grief process. Shuri raises her head to look into Okoye’s eyes. “Do you love her?” Tears well in Shuri’s eyes. “I am in love with her.” Okoye wipes her tears, rubbing her back. “We know she feels the same. Why make her suffer watching you muddle in this process. When you know you can get help and let her in.”

“Can I sight stubbornness?” Okoye shakes her head no and smiles. “No you cannot. Do your best to work and heal to be with her or leave her alone, Shuri.”

The ultimatum was deafening and was what the Panther needed to hear.

———————————��————————————————

“Miss Williams, your 10am is here.” Riri’s assistant Asia announces over the intercom. Riri looks confused and she presses the button. “Please allow me 15 minutes to prepare, Asia.” Riri was not expecting a 10am so she was scrambling plus talking with Shuri is always something she needs to recuperate from. The huge hanging issue of the undefined relationship thing is a stab to the gut every time. The dynamic is not even friends with benefits. Because that would require something more physical than cuddling, and hand holding. The flirting is always spicy but it’s getting so hard to ignore the tension.

Riri is being very very patient with Shuri because she’s IN LOVE with this woman. Like everything about Shuri she loves. Even the fact that she’s struggling because it shows she’s human. Riri is down bad bad. Once she has a moment she cuts off her Kimoyo beads, Riri intercoms for whoever is waiting for her to come in. She will fake it til she makes it. Asia says ok and moments later two beautiful women storm Riri’s office. It’s Imani and Nia, her college sorority sisters.

“Bitch! Why you have us waiting?” Imani is the outspoken and politically incorrect friend. “Oooh see no not in my office.” Riri quips back grinning from ear to ear. “Imani, now you heard Asia say she was on a call.” Nia walks in with a calmer tone. She is the level headed friend in the group. “Nia hush she wasn’t on the phone with no body but that fine ass African she fucking.”

Riri’s face drops. Asia is another one of their sorority sisters so she is the root of them knowing this information. Nia laughs and looks at Ri’s face. “Ooop she is fine though. I didn’t know the relationship had gotten that far Ri. Good Job.” Imani twists her lips. “How do you think we going to Vegas? Queen Bae got the tab, ALL expenses paid.” Riri is fed up and hits the intercom. “Asia, come in here please.” Asia rushes into the office. “Yes.” “Why did you just tell them all my business?” Asia is caught off guard. “Because Sister you and the Queen are cute and it’s tea everyday with y’all. Like how y’all not actually fucking. But she spoils you out of this world.”

All the girls stare at Ri. She is so damn happy she sound proofed this room because the yelling that is about to come from the girls is going to be outrageous. “BITCH! How did you pull that off!” “I need a Sugar Daddy like that.” “You are rich and have a Queen taking care of you. Oooh Bitch” all the yelling runs together.

“Y’all stop! It’s not like that ok I actually love her and this shit is actually getting to me.” All of her friends pause and look to see Ri on the verge of tears. “Rihanna Girl, calm down and come here.” Nia opens her arms and hugs Ri. “Talk to us. Baby what’s going on.” Riri fills them in on everything and it is juicy all the girls understand the problem. “So hold up the only reason y’all not together together is because of her?” Imani sips her wine that they have now poured. Riri is the last to turn 21 but being CEO of a company as big as Stark Tech people overlook that she's not 21.

“Yes and I stress every time I talk to her because y’all she’s called me her wife today. It’s like the signals are so all over the place.” Riri is curled up on her couch as Nia holds her Asia has held all calls and put Riri out of the office for the day. “Girl, you need answers or you have to let her go.” Imani is blunt but it’s true. “Mani!” Asia chimes in. “I think they can work it out, you don’t see our girl like I do with Shuri. That woman is perfect for her. Like her soft girl era is on 1000.” Imani frowns. “Ok that’s cool and all but it’s bullshit if the girl can’t commit. What is Ri supposed to do? Be in an odd ass friend zone for 10 years. No Ma’am. Give her an ultimatum.”

Riri rubs her face. Imani is right but so is Asia. Nia is rubbing her back and speaks. “What do you want Riri? We can talk all day but if you can’t articulate what it is you want then this is for nothing.” Riri is sure of what she wants so with no hesitation. “I want her and I mean all of her.”

————————————————————————————

It’s about 9 and Riri receives a call on her Kimoyo beads. It's a video call this time so she projects it on her screen at home. All the girls are there in their PJs. “My Love, I need to know something…” “Shuri, you're on speaker.” Riri cuts the Panther short before she can say anything over the top. Shuri was not facing the screen as she was working on a project. Heeding the warning, Shuri greets all of Riri’s friends by name and changes her tone. Shuri is looking good as hell to Riri right now. In a fitted black sleeveless and jogger set.

“Hello Imani, Nia, and Asia, how are you all?” “Hello Panther.” They say in unison. All the girls are kind of side-eyeing her. “We good Queen Panther. What you need to know.” Imani says a touch harshly. “I hope it’s a ring size for our girl.” The hint is not very subtle. Shuri takes it because she deserves all heat plus some.

After the talk with Okoye, Shuri went to her Mother’s suite. As she sat with her Mother she took time to think and it was the revelation she needed. Suppose T’Challa had not committed to Nakia or moreover had Baba kept Mother at a distance. She would not even exist. So it’s time to suck it up and stop being scared to let Riri in. She reached out to a world class mental health professional Dr. Amira Diallo and she will be in therapy to start her journey to heal. Rihanna is what she wants so no more stalling.

“Actually I wanted to know what she is wearing tomorrow. Because I already know her ring size is 16.5mm she’s a slightly wide 6.” Imani was hushed. Shuri may deserve everything but that does not mean she will pass up being just a bit sassy. Riri’s friends respect her for it. “You better know your Wife.” She deserves that too. Nia pinches Imani. “Oouch! Bitch.” Shuri shuts up and lets Riri answer. “Baby I’m wearing my Chanel jogging suit. Why?” “Wanted to see if we are thinking alike.” Shuri is a horrible liar so Riri can tell something else is on her mind. “Tony.” “Wassup Kid?” Riri’s AI is Tony Stark with Griots mainframe it’s dope. “Transfer this call to my bedroom.” “Yooou got it.” With that Riri takes the call to her room so they can be alone.

“Baby you suck at lying. Like don’t you ever try and cheat on me. I will know in an instant.” Shuri snorts and looks at Ri. “I would never cheat. I am a loyal shitty Girlfriend/Fiancée.” Riri sits on her bed watching Shuri. “I like the sound of that. What else are you? Shuri Azari, daughter of Queen Mother Romanda, Queen of Wakanda.” Shuri stares at Riri over the camera. Why is she so beautiful? “I am loyal and ready.” Riri rolls her eyes knowing how this goes. “Ready for what?” Shuri punches some keys on her tablet and a calendar comes up. A date labeled first consultation with Dr. Diallo shows on the screen. “Shuri, are you seeing a therapist?” With softened faces the girls lock eyes. “Yes I need to get better, and I am ready for us to be more than friends.” Riri could not believe her ears. “You mean we are getting married tomorrow?” Riri pokes fun at Shuri who is blushing. “Maybe not tomorrow but on this trip we can. All jokes aside, I want us to be together Rihanna.” “I would love that.” They talk a little while longer before Riri almost dozed off. ————————————————————————————

“Baby get back to your friends. My transport leaves in about 2 hours. I will reach you by morning. I love you.” Riri pouts she is laying down now. “Mmmm don’t go Baby please. They are going to talk shit and I don’t want to hear it.” Shuri laughs. “Well let them. I kind of deserve the shit talk.” Ri chews her lip and shakes her head. “Could you stop right now. You have been hurting so I understand why you kept me at a distance. I love you so I will not allow you to be disrespected.” Shuri smiles hearing Riri defend her.

“Thank you Baby you have no idea how badly I want you right now. To kiss you, hold you, touch you, please you.” A devilish smirk spreads on Shuri’s face. “Ooh shit yea. I am going. I can’t do this right now.” A blush turns Ri a deep red color before she hangs up.

Leaving the room everyone is waiting for Riri. The woman of the hour. “Look at this one here. Mmm” Imani was the first to speak. “Don’t tell me you fell for some sweet talk.” She is sitting between Asia and Nia with a stoic look on her face. Imani is drunk so she is not holding back. “I hope you didn’t fall for anything unless she promised to fuck you.” Imani slurs her words.

“Relax Imani ok she showed me her therapist evaluation. Plus asked me to be her girlfriend!” Asia and Nia cheer out glad for Riri. “Omg yes! I knew the Queen had it in her.” Imani shakes her head and looks at them. They all proceed to stay up all night.

“Kid your Bae is leaving Wakanda.” Tony alerts Riri while they are watching Waiting to Exhale. “Thanks Tony. Text. Can’t wait to touch you.” Imani has sobered up and overhears the text. “Girl you're so damn gay it’s sick. How long until she’s here?”

“7 hours she’s on her Royal Talon. Leave me alone ok. I have been waiting for this.” Imani sits up from the big cuddle pile. “Yes and I am very happy for you. I know it may not seem like it, I just want you to be careful. You both need to take it slow.” Riri looks at her friend realizing that is the best bit of advice she has gotten so far. Imani is correct that no matter how long she’s waited Riri has got to take this relationship slow. That is the only way she will make Shuri comfortable to open up, and will be the only thing that reassures Riri things are going well. Considering that they know each other but there are still things she would be surprised about when it comes to Shuri. This makes sense.

Hours pass and it’s now about 11am and the Sisters are all passed out except Ri. She’s anticipating Shuri’s arrival any minute now. She got a text back about 20 mins ago “Can’t wait to be touched.” The drive to her condo from the private hanger is about 30 mins. She is freshening up in the mirror and she is thinking of the things she still does not know about Shuri. Like she knows the color she wears all the time is Black. But what is her actual favorite? Shuri is better at observation than she is. So Riri is aware that Shuri knows more of the little things about her then vice versa. Like what is her favorite candy or treat? All things she will be finding out.

@somethingcleaverandwhitty @mal-urameshi @shurixriri @shuriris-stuff @neptoons1998

[antiradqueer]

I see a lot of people saying they have typing quirks because of disability, that its a conflicting access needs issue, because of OCD, etc, and it makes me sigh a little because if it's a mental thing, they need psychiatric help for it (and before anyone says psychiatry as an institution is scary and evil; It can genuinely help people imo in the same vein as like. medication. Which people also fearmonger about but thats another rant) and in most internet spaces there's this thing called a "backspace bar" or "delete button" which is really awesome because you can use it to delete stuff that you might have accidentally typed or sent. Sometimes you can even edit it! Very fascinating indeed. There's no reason to push under the bus other disabled people. Typing quirks are literally from homestuck. Nobody used them before then unless you were doing illegal elite hacker shit.

mmm the thing is... I don't use typing quirks myself nor do I have OCD, so take this with a huge grain of salt (and of course I don't want to speak over people with OCD in any way!), but like... the way I understand how OCD works, a typing quick could be a legit compulsion for something, no?? and yeah, nobody used them before homestuck, but that's not a valid argument here imo, because you know, brains tend to latch onto things they see somewhere. So it could have developed into a compulsion for some people and they just learned it from homestuck.

However, I very much agree that text should be made accessible. so either one has to provide a translation (aka the same text as plaintext) or have a friend, mutual or headmate provide one. if you can't do that, maybe make the post later when you're able to either drop the typing quirk or have someone translate it.

I also agree that in most cases it's probably not a thing they literally can't drop, but more of a "dropping it would make me a bit uncomfortable"-thing and people are just stubborn about it.

(I am not commenting on the whole psychiatry thing btw cause then I would have to write half a book, because I have Thoughts and Opinions and I'm not in the mood for that rn)

[winterinhimring]

1, 5, and 6 for the latest ask game

Thanks for sending this!

1: Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

The current project that's most consistently under construction is The Right Question, a fix-it for The Amazing Spider-man 2 (NOT something I ever expected to write fic for) which could very well be subtitled "Gwen Stacy and Aunt May Fix Everything (Harry Helps A Bit)". It's making pretty good progress and most of the main conflict has already been solved, so really what's left now is cleaning up loose ends and revelling in the fix-it a bit before I wrap things up. I think what I love most about it is the dynamic that's developing between Harry, Peter, and Gwen. Harry and Peter have spent most of the fic trying to express friendship for each other by mutually going 'I will sacrifice myself for you. Let me sacrifice myself for you PLEASE. I AM GOING TO JUMP IN FRONT OF THIS BOLT OF LIGHTNING FOR YOU DON'T YOU DARE TACKLE ME OUT OF THE WAY WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE SAVING ME I AM SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING YOU'. Gwen, meanwhile, has the brain cell, and has spent most of the fic trying to get them to actually TALK about all the things they sorely need to talk about, but crises keep happening and the boys keep running off into the blue before she can sit them down and sort them out properly. It honestly cracks me up laughing.

I'm also planning to add another arc to A Lot Can Happen In Twenty Years, a collection of short stories set after my rewrite of Spider-man: No Way Home in A Far, Far Better Thing (a series that started life as 'let's fix the post-Endgame MCU' and ended up spanning the entire live-action Spider-man multiverse). So far, entries to that have included lots of Osborn family bonding and a Raimi-verse edition of Electro; the next arc, if I ever actually write it, will be about the Raimi-verse Vulture, whose existence I've teased in previous fics, but who has never actually shown up on screen. So far, it's just in the planning stage, because I'm trying to get The Right Question written before I start it. However, I can already tell that it's going to be chock full of father-son feels and bonding between Norman and Harry, which is one of my favourite things, so I'm really looking forward to when it's written. (I don't want to have to WRITE it but alas, such is life.)

Finally, there is my oldest and least consistently worked-on project, aka That Pesky Original Novel, aka The Finding. It's about a pair of college students who stumble across what I can probably most easily describe as a magical artifact (though magic is really a bit of a misnomer for the way I've set up this world, and in-universe everyone would insist, correctly, that it's NOT magic), find themselves in the sights of quite a lot of interested parties, and have to figure out who to trust and what to do. It has been nominally in the process of being rewritten ever since I first drafted it in high school, but it has actually made some progress lately. It might get finished this year or it might take me another decade; who knows?

5: What character that you're writing do you most identify with?

This is a tough one! I tend to write characters that are similar to me in some crucial ways (I don't think I've ever written someone who's naturally open with their emotions, because that is simply baffling to me on a fundamental psychological level), but very different in others. It's not quite a case of opposites attract, but it's pretty rare for me to look at a character I write and strongly identify with him or her. I can find bits or pieces of myself in most of the characters I write (my sense of morality in Peter, my determination in Gwen, my dislike of emotional vulnerability in Norman, my snark in just about everyone, etc.), but I don't see my whole self in any of them.

6: What character do you have the most fun writing?

It depends on a lot of things! Right now, though, probably Harry Osborn, because he's (a) ridiculously dramatic and can always be relied upon to take a plot in new and interesting (by which I mean supremely angsty) directions, and (b) SUCH a snarky little dude who WILL unleash it on anyone he considers deserving at the slightest provocation. He considers quite a lot of people deserving and I love writing snark, so it's a writer and character partnership made in heaven.

Thank you for sending this question! I had lots of fun answering it.

Ask game is here.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

I have no irl friends or mutuals who are Kai Stans so I figured I’d send you an ask about it because you’re my fave Kai account. I just rewatched that episode after the merge where Kai tried to kill Liv with that candle and couldn’t bring himself to do it and I have never felt so emotionally conflicted in my life. Like on one hand, bad Kai don’t murder people. But on the other hand, he looked so genuinely upset to be wrestling with his conflicting emotions and I just wanted to hug him

Okay, first of all, I'm honored to be your fave. I feel like I say this a lot, but I'm absolutely melting!🩷Hearing that people enjoy the things I write always makes me smile, and I think about those kinds of comments on the daily. Second, I rarely answer asks this quickly; I usually write out a response over a few days and edit it over a few more, but this got me so freaking excited because I JUST watched that episode and had the same feelies you're describing. Third, I will gladly be a mutual with you, whether you want to stay on anon or not! (I am so shy and weird irl, but I love talking to people on here, especially fellow Kai stans!!) (I don't talk to anyone irl about Kai, not even my mom who's watching tvd, bc I just KNOW she's gonna be like... you like this guy? 🤨 and i'll be awkwardly trying to defend him like he's not the love of my life. also, i love my mom and we're super close, but every time she watches an episode, she needs to remind me how much she loves matt donovan 😵‍💫)

But back to the point, yes, I literally watched that same episode / scene last night! And ugh, it gives me so many different feelings, too.

We really got to see the internal struggle he was having in that moment. Earlier, he had mentioned he was writing to Jo, and that he was crying, but in this scene, we actually got to see the emotions he may have been feeling while writing it. He was already exhausted and overwhelmed from trying to astral project into 1994 to help Bonnie, which is another huge display of emotion, and now he's facing his innate need to protect himself verses a whole new slew of feelings he doesn't understand.

On top of that, I don't think he actually wanted any of his siblings dead. I think he was just so void of emotion from all his trauma and abuse that he came to believe the only way to survive was if they were to die. He is, and always will be a sociopath; there's no way to unwire his brain, but Luke's emotions gave him all these feelings he hasn't felt in decades. Part of not wanting to kill Liv was definitely Luke preventing him, but I think part of it, too, was his own feelings.

Just thinking about it… sociopathy develops around the ages of 14-16; Kai is technically 40 years old. He was completely isolated for so long, and then thrust into this loud, complicated, modern world that he doesn't understand. He still has to fight to survive; his family still hates him 18 years later. When he finally accomplishes his "task" - to survive, his family hates him even more, and, since survival equals the merge, he now has feelings to battle on top of all these other new struggles.

Then in that scene, he's trying to make up for the hurt he put his sister (Jo) through, and then Bonnie. He offers empathy to Jeremy, helping him reach Bonnie even after Liv stabs him. He's a bit puzzled on what he should feel for Liv. At the moment, she's just in his way of accomplishing these other "tasks," but Luke won't let him hurt her, and he's fighting with himself about it. And that's a lot. Luke is overwhelming him; his own emotions are overwhelming him.

He needs a hug. And a nap. Both. Personally, I wanted to jump through the screen and give him a hug, then let him fall asleep while I held him and promised to keep him safe.

He's just begging for some kind of security throughout the season. He looks to Bonnie and Damon for it, hoping the three of them can escape the prison world together; hoping he can trust them; that they won't leave him there any longer. He looks for it by merging, knowing if he wins, he secures his spot in the coven; he can't be killed. He tries to make amends with Damon, helping him find his mom, and Bonnie, trying to apologize. Even Jo; he feels sick and he goes to his sister, who's a doctor, because she knows her trade; she can help him; provide him with some clue of what's going on, because he doesn't understand. He doesn't want to be left behind on his own again. He wants someone to trust him, and trust that he's trying to be better. But that's exactly what happens when he's trapped in 1903, and then, of course, he snaps again, because he realizes no one is going to change their minds about him, and no one is going to offer the basic human needs he so desperately has wanted for decades.

If someone just gave him a freaking hug and a second chance, things would've went a lot differently for everyone involved.

It's their own fault, honestly, that the season ended the way it did, (speaking, of course, as if the writers were not writing, and that the characters chose the course of the story). Kai, I believe, is extremely intelligent, and knew exactly how to hurt every single person who directly or indirectly hurt him. He found a little bit of security in Lily Salvatore - all he really wanted - and with that little boost of confidence from the wrong person, was able to deliver absolute chaos and destruction where he deemed necessary.

But now, on a completely unrelated note, I also have three random things to say about this scene. Given the chance to talk about it, I feel I must. One, I find it absolutely hilarious how Kai and Liv throw silverware at each other almost every time they fight. The camera pans to a fork or a knife, and suddenly, it's in the other's neck. Makes me wonder how family dinners went in that household. 😅 Two, when he was pouring alcohol on her, all I could think was damn, he's just gonna set that whole mansion on fire and everyone in it. That huge, expensive, historic, mansion, just to burn one girl. Three, I also couldn't stop looking at that sadistic smile. How happy he seemed to get over the "prospect of getting to watch someone burn to death," right before he couldn't bring himself to do it. His dark eyes do something to me. And the fact that he was already covered in his own sweat and tears from, again, over-exhaustion, just had me watching with absolute heart eyes. Maybe I should go to therapy.

But yes, I feel the conflicting emotions. I really wanted him to not kill her, because I didn't want him to prove them all right. I really wanted him to be redeemed because he deserved it so much. But at the same time….. he just looked so hot doing it.

[y0d00p]

Can u tell us more about DMKMK and how you got into the ship and their dynamic maybe :D? They are very cute and the way you draw them is adorable

i got into the ship in 2018ish. i don't think there was any one specific thing that set it off, it was just a combination of like... reading some fics i think and teeny kind of egging me on lol

it definitely started as purely like "they hate each other and make out sometimes". we started rping with them and over time i felt out and developed what i wanted to do with dmk and we started discussing stuff like "what if they were cute and genuine" and how could we get them to that point and it's just kind of built from there

it's hard to sum up their dynamic succinctly because it changes so much over time + it's always getting tweaked for different AUs and stuff

i started writing a whole thing and realized it was already getting so long so i'm going to try to cut it down (oh my god i still wrote so much can you believe i had even more than this)

they start out hating each other because they unintentionally make each other reflect on parts of themselves they hate and take out that aggression on each other. over time they develop mutual physical attraction which MK is ashamed of and tries to suppress while DMK goes hard into picking fights to "flirt" (see images ↓)

they may or may not impulsively make out or get intimate during this ongoing conflict (idr the exact timeline) MK has a major personal struggle about it all and thinks it's some kind of personal failing that he's into DMK and eventually breaks and almost kills him. and DMK is there covered in his own blood like hey man. i think we should talk about. whatever's going on. between us

so they talk and finally get to work out and admit their weird issues and decide to carefully try nurturing their attraction properly (while MK tends to his wounds~ agh..)

it's still rocky at first. they're both full of all kinds of mental illness so it takes some time to figure out how to work with all that. they help each other in a lot of ways. grow to love each other's weird quirks and embrace their differences. a looot of stuff happens lol

after all their development they deeply care for each other. on the outside they seem almost casual. they still bicker and tease each other a lot but it's completely different now because it's out of affection. but they know each other so intimately. they always have!! they are very much like an old married couple (even if DMK currently gets timid around the topic of marriage). there's just an understated warmth between them

your honour. i love them so much. fuck

[messymindofmine]

Ok I have to say something. Recently I've seen a lot of people saying that they're excited for Carlos whump bc they want to see TK showing his love for Carlos in a more obvious way. Sorry but just how much more obvious do you want it to be? It's one thing to want to see TK in hero mode but if you seriously think that TK's love for Carlos isn't constantly being shown in obvious ways then you clearly have not been paying any attention. Also, the people saying that Carlos would have a right to lash out at TK over Iris (even though we don't even know if that's what's going to happen) bc TK has had plenty lash-outs. First off, TK's "lash-outs" can easily be explained by his mental health struggles bc even if it's not being explicitly mentioned, his struggles are always going to be there. Second, TK has never fought with Carlos for no reason. Any time there has been a conflict, it's always been mutual issues on both sides and TK is actually the one to reach out to make amends first. On the other hand, TK has done absolutely nothing wrong by going to see Iris. Iris said something that really bothered him and he went to her to politely ask her what she meant. He was nothing but kind to her the whole time. So he does not deserve to be blamed. Third, Carlos lashing out would just be completely OOC bc that's just not how he is. He's way more likely to blame himself which he still shouldn't do. The big thing that concerns me is the way people are saying that Carlos is allowed a lash out bc TK has had so many as if it's some kind of tool or weapon (oh well they've done this so that means I can do this too) is....deeply concerning to me. Just bc TK happens to carry a lot more baggage than Carlos doesn't mean the relationship is equal. Carlos definitely has his own baggage and as he himself told TK in this last episode, TK is the one that makes him feel whole in a way that he never did before. Anytime Carlos has needed comfort for anything, TK is one who's there for him. Even in the moments where Carlos tries to pretend he's fine, TK is there to help him deal with his emotions. This type of thinking is literally what I mean when I say that the way people often talk about TK reeks of ableism. Is it really so hard to just look forward to the episode and enjoy the relationship without turning things into some kind of competition where the score of who is the hero and who is struggling constantly needs to be evened?