#not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fvckednddistvrbed · 2 months

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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad

#tw s3lf harm #i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual #its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu #tw 3d shit #tw 3d vent #3d ana #not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen #so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years #and to be clear im very pro recovery #which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed #i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me #so for not its a whole lotta #male thinpo #slef harm #right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that #slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else #not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this #but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO #i joke of course #anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery #ana moots #body chex #someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable #at least for now #also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too #also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick #but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro #because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way #and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help

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