#i'm so. so. sick. of everything. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ohbutwheresyourheart · 2 years ago

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#i just want it to be okay #i just want some glimmer of actual hope in the midst of the shitshow i call my life #because right now i can't see how i'm ever going to get to a life worth living #never gonna afford property #never going to be able to afford to do jack shit period #everyone i know talks about travelling and settling down and making lives with their partners #and i'm just here drowning and drowning and FUCKING DROWNING #i will never be good enough #i will never amount to anything #and i wish to god i could just kill myself and be done with it #i'm so. so. sick. of everything.#i keep trying. i promise i do. but it doesn't work.#and i feel like the fact nobody can give me any hope #just proves there's no point left in trying #i want it to be over #i want to be done #i want to rest

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symphonyofsilence · 3 months ago

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Let the poor man rest.

#also no he doesn't want to experience life as a normal person. no he wouldn't sacrifice his powers to live again.#he LOVED being powerful. he was very proud of his powers. he was at the top of the world. what he disliked was being so lonely at the top.#which having reunited with Geto now he is not.#and he wanted to keep the next generation safe due to his past regrets and teach a generation of kids to be at the top together.#and he wanted to get rid of the corrupt higher-ups and reform the Jujutsu society.#and he did all of that. Yuta and Yuuji are both alive and safe and the kids are all reunited with each other stronger than ever #and the higher-ups are d**d.#Gojo obviously wouldn't hate to keep living. he clearly didn't expect to lose and die. but as he himself confirmed #he died doing what he loved. he went out the way he wanted. he went out with a bang. he had the best fight of his life and gave it his all.#as he said 'he had fun'. he said it would have been embarrassing if he died of old age or sickness.#and now that he's gone he's happy with his friends and especially Geto. he found peace.#He said it himself 'Now i'm wishing that it's not just a dream'.#also for those of you who say that Geto & Gojo wouldn't be together because one would go to hell and one to heaven... no. just no.#first of all. Gojo did a mass m*r*** before his death #second of all. they're Buddhists. they don't have heaven and hell. don't bring Abrahamic religions into everything.#and you'd be surprised by the excuses the Abrahamic religions find to not let people in heaven.#probably Gojo wouldn't go to heaven even if he didn't kill the higher-ups due to...idk... occasionaly doing pranks or sth.#but Gege apparently created a whole other afterlife of his own. and Toji Geto Gojo Nanami and everyone were all gathered there together.#you SAW that. so stop.#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk gojo #gege akutami #my two cents #satosugu

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lotus-pear · 5 months ago

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learning to love

#they make me so fucking unwell i feel so ill whenever i think about them #it's OVER for me i'm done #teen skk is going on my fucking suicide note thanks for everything asagiri #something something your bloodied hand in mind something something by you i am forever undone #something something to the world we may be villains but to each other we're two halves of the same soul #head in my fucking hands #sry for getting all emo i rewatched pmmm yesterday and i've been feeling existential about everything #i actually listened to the pmmm ost while drawing it saved me i love you yuki kajiura😍 (i died)#nothing like a haunting latin chorus echoing through my empty head while i draw tragic yaoi 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#big shoutout to sis puella magica i had that one on loop for like two hours‼️#anyway enough about the doomed yuri anime back to skk #forget everything i said i actually hope they explode i'm sick of their asses #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #soukoku #skk #posting at ungodly hours again this is gonna catch up to me 💔#lotus draws

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toodrunktofindaurl · 3 days ago

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"Death's child"

twitter | bluesky | insta | 🔞 patre*n

#.... sorry #agathario #agatha all along #rio vidal #agatha harkness #nicholas scratch #i was overcome with the concept of Nicky always sensing Rio #as a metaphor for Death looming over him both out of love and quite literally... you choose #But mainly it was the concept of Rio not showing herself to Nicky ever #and not being able to touch him at all #not because it's a certainty that he'd pass #but because she didn't know if he would or not. couldn't risk any contact #not knowing if it would be a self fulfilling prophecy or not #idk if i'm making sense but EITHER WAY #there are a few ways to interpret this comic #in the first draft Agatha was smiling fondly #in this one it's bitter sweet. her saying ''he loves you so'' is also for herself #despite everything #they both love Rio #and on that note! i'm going back to bed. i'm sick as hell #BYE #maryneart

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dollopheadsandclotpoles · 4 months ago

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Scenes From A Romantic Comedy BBC Merlin [Ep 4x05]

#the way they shot this was INSANE #bbc merlin #merlinedit #bbcmerlinedit #merthur #merlin #merlin x arthur #arthur x merlin #arthur pendragon #bradley james #colin morgan #mine #i say everything about this show is insane but it IS OK #idk if it's cause I got accidentally shadowbanned but I feel like none of my stuff is in the tags anymore #so like... gotta make my presence known again #idk i'm sick i have nothing to do I'm taking any excuse to gif really

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buttercupshands · 3 months ago

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So.

Act 5, huh?

Oh, and that.

"You can start breakdown now."

Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.

So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)

What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.

The beans. Sleeping beans.

Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.

Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.

I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things

Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.

#fanart #sketch #my art #isat spoilers #isat #siffrin #siffrin isat #isat loop #in stars and time #I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho #Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5 #Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist #But I had to while playing so I did #So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements #One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too #I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it #Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed #From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun #Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night #I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with #And not overdoing it #Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time #It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that

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golyadkin · 1 year ago

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I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr

not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work

believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody

#not art #listen #for real #this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people #you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here #every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it #that never see my cursor close to the save button #i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person #i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me #because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art #is by doing it for the sake of doing it #not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare #anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse #but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website #stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags #your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that #if you're an artist for a living that's another story #but even then #even then #anyways sorry i'm done ranting

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago

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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)

#polls #tumblr polls #I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup #the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli #section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff #so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just #blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most #neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol #I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me #but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T #I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee #person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times #But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol #And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly #When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one #sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it #Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something #Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and #coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single #coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to #have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus #make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as #possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get #to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol

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yesmissnyx · 9 months ago

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An Unsexy Post About Censorship

Sooo...gumroad is shutting down NSFW content sales because of Stripe and Paypal. This is also why Wishtender has been down as well, if you weren't aware. And why Patreon is also cracking down on anything remotely kinky.

(If you're wondering why your favorite FICTIONAL sexual content isn't allowed on most platforms, it's payment processors.)

Please be extra kind to anyone who works with NSFW content right now, whether it be art, writing, audio, photos or video. Whether it be tasteful erotica, or the kinkiest BDSM porn you can think of, we're all in the crosshairs right now.

And, judging by trends from these past few years, this is only going to get worse.

Support NSFW creators where you can, whether by tipping or buying our content (where you still can) or just helping boost content on sites where algorithms want to drown us out.

Call representatives where you can and complain about payment processors acting as arbiters of what YOU are and aren't allowed to pay for and enjoy.

This may be about porn right now, but censorship of this caliber doesn't just stop with porn. Any transgressive (read: non-conservative) media is fair game.

Fight against it where you can. Support creators where you can.

Art is important. Reflections of our sexuality are important. We don't want a world where people aren't free to make or see the things they love and enjoy.

#nyxrambles #Warning: I'm going to get kind of grim in the tags so peace out of you have to.#This bums me out so fucking hard!#I have artist friends who are struggling because their content suddenly goes against these stupid fucking guidelines!#I'm going to have to take my stuff off of Gumroad even though it was previously allowed!#It's hard to not feel like everything is just spiraling toward fascism sometimes yanno?#I am usually opposed to slippery slope arguments but the goal of moral conservativism is to destroy everything that isn't in line with it.#They will not stop until the world reflects their narrow ideals. Like...that's the whole point of it!#Sorry guys I'm just having a rough one.#Between this and being sick for months I'm getting pretty fucking Done.#I'll be okay but I'm not going to pretend it isn't hard and scary.

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vaggieslefteye · 5 months ago

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ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ↳ anonymous asked: HUSK and ALASTOR or angel and valentino?

#hazbin hotel #husk #hazbin husk #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel edit #hazbin edit #radio demon #requested #make me choose #my gifs #dad beat dad #flashing gif #flickering gif #the full ask said ''in whichever way you define'' at the end so #i chose based off of which dynamic i'm more intrigued by. valentino as a villain and as a challenge to angel is REALLY interesting dont get #me wrong here. it's great. but THESE two have a lot of untapped potential for husk specifically #alastor is just there at the moment but HUSK. husk. it really is a mirror to angel's situation - everything wrong in his afterlife is #because of that gamble. but he WAS an overlord. HE was the one doing that horrible shit before. that's INTERESTING!!#he gathered and gambled away souls like money. it was all just a game to him. now HE'S getting his. a sick poetic justice in a way.#i am SO excited to see if they dive into this more!! will he ever self reflect? if he does will we SEE him doing this reflection? will it #be enough to play a part in him choosing to redeem himself? or even decide if redemption is worth the effort? i feel like there's potential #with his dynamic with alastor to influence that big time + his friendship with angel will also be a major factor #also making this set made me realize the hallway scene is like their one major interaction. jfc and it's fucking HORRIFYING lmao #look i loved their pilot interaction/dynamic as much as the next person but this is just. SO much better. more things to explore.#i'm really glad in the end that they were rewritten in this way. A+

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peppermintquartz · 1 month ago

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Buck buying groceries for the station, holding a zucchini and staring at it: Everything reminds me of him...

Eddie: You're not coming on the next grocery run, you're making it real weird

Buck, tearing up after the first three words out of Eddie's mouth: Everything reminds me of him...

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #bucktommy #tevan #i hope everything tastes like ash #i hope you can't look a cake or cupcake without feeling sick #i hope you switch your coffee order to his just so you can remember how he tastes in your mouth #I'm in my Petty™ era #leave me alone

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merakiui · 2 months ago

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he is so cute....... bite him, reader. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) also, i hope everyone can appreciate the motivational picture that i've put on the wip so i'm reminded of him always. <3

#meraki mumbles #reader: no one loves me 😔#skully (wearing his 'i love (name)' shirt): I DO!! ME!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! LET ME LOVE YOU PLEASE #i'm so ill about him!!!!!!#his feelings for you are so soft and tender and sweet and he loves you with his whole heart AAAAAAAAAAA #and he listens to everything you say and remembers all of these small details you think are insignificant #but to him they mean everything!!!#skully's courtship is something like spider courtship in my heart... you are his spider queen he would do anything for you #i just know rollo and fellow are sick of these two and their romantic tensions T_T #skully loving the very unlovable you in spite of everything....... i am sick. this is so twisted. he is so sincere WAAAAAAA #and then there's skully's thought process of 'no one understands me' but because no one has been willing to try #and there's reader!!! matching his freak!!! enjoying his morbid quirks all of his silliness... genuinely interested in what he has to say #they are meant to be!!! it's fate OTL

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loganswdc · 5 months ago

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who wants to go commit a crime with me !!!!

i am actually ready to go start a war for logan , the way he's been treated and all this new information after carlos has been signed is absolutely incredulous . the weak goodbye to logan . the 8 posts about carlos and how excited everyone is to work with him . and nothing about logan . i know this is about carlos , but seeing logan be so insanely under-appreciated is sickening , honestly . it's something we always knew , but seeing it practically pushed in our faces even further is genuinely disgusting . and i'm genuinely excited for carlos !! i hope things go well for him !! but logan is the driver i will defend first and the driver i will always support above everyone else , no matter what . and i can't fathom what logan is going through right now .

i hope he's somewhere in florida , fishing on a boat with his family . i hope he's got a good support system around him . and i hope that he know we're all proud of him . that we'll still be here , we'll follow him wherever he goes . and i hope he's able to rest , knowing that the team that's been so adamant about destroying him recently will finally be out of his life: he'll be free of them :')